K... Thanks to all who reviewed! (And to those who didn't, thanks for reading!) :D Erm... Yeah. Anyway, thanks to my beta (masterly), Jennza...
One part of this, I had to use the movie, because there is no canon for it, but it works. Nothing major... It works.
And for all of you people that hate Hermione... Well... Then I think this chapter will make you hate her even more... Trust me... Everything will be explained in due time. So, read, enjoy, and review! Thanks.
Chapter Seven:
Paradise
"Once upon a year gone by
She saw herself give in
Every time she closed her eyes
She saw what could have been
Well, nothing hurts and nothing bleeds
When covers tucked in tight
Funny when the bottom drops
How she forgets to fight... to fight
And it's one more day in paradise
One more day in paradise
As darkness quickly steals the light
That shined within her eyes
She slowly swallows all her fear
And soothes her mind with lies
Well all she wants and all she needs
Are reasons to survive
A day in which the sun will take
Her artificial light... her light
And it's one more day in paradise
One more day in paradise
It's one more day in paradise
One last chance to feel all right ... all right
Don't pretend to hold it in just let it out
Don't pretend to hold it in just push it out
Don't you try to hold it in just let it out and
Don't you try to hold it in you hold it in"
'Paradise'
-Vanessa Carlton
I really hate it when Ron is right.
And I know he is. Especially about this. I love Ron. I really do, but Harry... Harry was my first love, and how can I compare Ron with that? I'm sure you're wondering how I could have loved Ron so soon after Harry left... Yeah, well, you're asking the wrong person here, because I have no bloody idea, either. Oh, sure, there was a silly little crush on Ron in fourth year... And the few times we dated in sixth... But that was it. And I always loved Harry. It was ingrained into my very soul. He was ingrained into my very soul. I saw him not as a savior to the wizarding world, but a savior to myself. Only he could pull me from my shell. He was the only one that I could ever tell my deepest secrets to, the only one I could ever really confide in apart from my mother. I know he must have gotten tired of all the tearful talks we had in our common room, but he never belittled me or made me feel dumb. He was always there to hold me and I can't remember how many mornings I would wake and find myself still embraced in his arms. Soon, I knew every comfortable crevice of his body. I knew where I could bury my head into his chest and breathe in his deep scent. He smelled of all my favorite fragrances. Wind and rain and grass and Quidditch... And myself... And... Just Harry.
After he left, Ron moved into Harry's room for the last week of school. We needed each other. We couldn't bear to think of our best friend fighting Voldemort. I suppose I must have secluded myself from everyone else, even more so than usual. I felt so alone... Ron finally told me that I wasn't the only one going through the loss of a best friend and we clung to each other for support. That was the first time after Harry left that Ron was right.
"Hermione?" I feel him shaking my shoulder. "Hermione... Love, wake up."
God, what is with him waking me up lately? Aren't I the human alarm clock? Usually I'm up and at work by 6:00. "What?"
"It's 6:30, 'Mione. We both overslept."
I open my eyes and see him getting dressed in front of the closet. "Yeah, well..." I blink and sit up lazily. "Hey, where are you going?"
Ron is never up before I am unless he's being called away. "Work."
"What this time?" I throw the blankets off my legs and stretch.
He shrugs. "We don't know. Some strange happenings in Kent." He kisses me. "Don't worry, dearest. I'll be home as soon as I can. I'll tell them that I'll stay and do the paperwork, so I'll be near if you need me, okay?" He turns back to the mirror and straightens his tie. "When are you going to talk to Harry?"
I shrug. "Tonight? I don't know..." I need Ron's direction. Possibly now more than ever before. "Tell me what to do."
He sighs and turns to face me. "What do you think I've been doing for the last eight years?"
I hate it when he gets like this. "You don't understand, Ron. I need you... to tell me... what to do." My voice wavers and I try very hard to swallow the lump in my throat.
He closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, and opens them again. "I can't. You'll know when the time is right. Now," He glances at his watch. "I have to get going. I might not be home tonight. Will you be all right?"
I nod.
"I love you," he says gently.
"I..." It's all I can do to not let the angry tears fall as he kisses me on my cheek and walks out the door.
* * *
My bookshop is located right across the street from Gringotts, making it extremely convenient for me to run and make my deposits during lunch. I know everyone expected me to run straight out from school and be an auror or a mediwitch or something like that, but no matter how much I love school and learning, my true passion is books, so it was only natural for me to start my own bookstore. I aptly named it The Book Junkie* after a conversation with Ron in which he called me a... book junkie.
My store is different than Flourish and Blots, because not only do I specialize in spell books, but I also carry a vast assortment of Muggle novels. There is so much excellent literature out there and the wizarding world has no idea. My favorite customers are the young witches that come in and have never been introduced to Muggle books before. I usually offer them my list of authors. It's comprised of classic authors, of course, but there are quite a few contemporary writers on the list as well. I just love the written word.
I arrive at the store at 6:57, almost a full hour late. Ginny is sitting on the steps, clutching a white paper sack, and two cups of coffee sit beside her. She stands as she sees me coming and I apologize. "It's all right... We'll just have to zap the coffee with some heating charms!" she laughs and the bell tinkles as we walk into the dark shop.
I wave my wand to light the candles, (they wouldn't let me have electricity) and dig into the bag that Ginny brought. "Yum..." I mutter, biting into a cream cheese danish. My favorite. Ginny knows me all too well.
We eat in silence and as I flip the door sign to 'open' at precisely seven o'clock, Ginny clears her throat. "Harry stayed at the Burrow last night..." she says, nervously.
"Did he?" I ask, flipping through my order book and digging through a box that just arrived via Owl Post.
She nods. "Yeah. Erm... Look, Hermione... He... He saw James."
My stomach freezes, but I take a sip of coffee and cross off a book title. "And?" I say, calmly.
Ginny sighs and adjusts her robes. "He asked me if you and Ron were his parents."
I never look up at her, though I am seething. "And?"
"And I told him his name."
How dare she! "And?"
"Well, bloody hell, Hermione!" she throws up her hands in frustration. "I mean, it's-"
The bell above the door tinkles and Ginny slumps into her stool behind the counter.
"Hello, Mrs. Hyatt!" I greet one of my regular customers. "What can I help you with today?"
* * *
I usually have lunch with either Ron or Ginny, but today, I've decided to run to Gringotts and withdraw some money for dinner tonight. I put my 'out to lunch' sign on the door, lock it, and make my way across the street. I pull the bank door open and step into the marble hall.
Gringotts got rid of the goblins about five years ago, and no one was happier than I was. Never really trusted the goblins... Something about the way they looked at me. After the goblins were dismissed, Neville Longbottom was hired as the first CEO of Gringotts and he's done an excellent job so far.
I walk up to his counter and he greets me with a warm smile. "Good afternoon, Hermione. Are you depositing or withdrawing?"
"Withdrawing," I answer and start digging around in my purse for my key. I reach to the very bottom and feel a crumpled piece of paper.
"Will this come from your joint account?" Neville asks, preparing to take a cart to the vault.
I re-read the piece of paper, though I memorized it long ago. "No..." I pull the tiny golden key from the parchment and hand it to him as an idea worms its way through my brain. "This comes from Vault 687."
Neville checks the key and gapes at me. "But... Hermione, this is-"
"I know," I reply shortly, egging the worm on.
"But..." He sighs. "Isn't-?"
I nod. "Yes."
"But... Hermione, you do know that only certain people are allowed to draw from this account, right? It was turned over to-"
I clear my throat and flatten the parchment on the counter. "As you can see in this line right here," I indicate said line. "I have permission from The Order of the Phoenix to access these funds when I deem it necessary and..." I lean towards him and narrow my eyes. " I-DEEM-IT-NECESSARY!" I hiss through gritted teeth.
Neville's eyes widen and he nods. "Erm... Do I need to Floo Ron?"
I lean closer, jabbing my finger at the paper. "Do you see his name on that paper? Don't. Think. So. Take me to the vault. Now." Okay, I'll admit, I'm a little bit vicious. But I've had to be in order to hold my own with Ron Weasley and company over the years.
Neville nods nervously and leads me to a cart. When we arrive at the Vault, he unlocks and opens the door. Stacks of gold, piles of silver, and heaps of bronze sit in front of me. And it's all mine. "H... How much would you like?" Neville stutters and pulls a quill from his robes.
I mull it over in my mind. Of course... The worm stops. I grin wickedly. "All of it."
Okay, I feel an interjection must be made here. I'm not obsessed with money in any sense. And I'm not going to spend it. Really. I only want it so he can't have it.
"What?" he gapes. "'Mione... There has to be..." He scribbles on his paper. "Well, there's... A lot of money in there."
"I know. I And I want it all delivered to Number 12 Grimmauld Place at three o'clock this afternoon," I reply sweetly. "Got it?" I ask in my best McGonagall voice.
He nods. "Yes, ma'am. Erm... Is that all?"
I smile. "Yes, I think that's about it. Thanks, Neville!" I climb back into the cart and sigh contentedly. Sometimes I'm too smart for my own good.
* * *
Ron sinks onto the ground beside me. "Hey, 'Mione..."
"Hi," I reply quietly, not tearing my eyes away from the shimmering surface of the lake.
"How are you doing?"
I shrug. "The same." I pull my knees to my chest and let my limp hair fall in my face to hide the tears that never seem to stop anymore.
I feel his hand on my shoulder. "Did you talk to Madame Pomfrey?"
I nod. "Yes."
"And?" He presses.
Really can't take a hint, can you, Ron? "Anemia." You'd think my monosyllabic answers would clue him in. I want to be left alone to deal with my grief.
"Oh. Did she give you something?" he asks gently.
I throw him the potion. Merlin, why can't I stop the tears?
"Are you sure you're all right, 'Mione?" he whispers, leaning up to me and pulling me into a hug.
I pull away from him, sink against the tree trunk and the tears fall harder. "Harry's... I mean, it's been a month, Ron." Who's controlling my mouth? Definitely not me.
"Yeah..."
"What am I going to do without him?" Why in bloody hell am I telling him this? "You're my best friend, Ron, but-" Oh, question answered.
"But you love Harry..." He sighs resignedly. "You know, 'Mione... We had a good relationship last year."
"Yeah," I answer, pulling my knees in tighter to my chest. Why is he bringing all this up? Another 'why'... Is this what the rest of my life's going to be? Why's and what if's?
"But he loved you more... He always has. There was nothing I could do to change that." He picks at the grass in between his knees.
I shrug. What does he expect me to say? 'Oh, well, my boyfriend's dead. I guess you'll do.' "I'm scared, Ron."
He jerks his head toward me. He didn't expect that... How could have he? I wasn't expecting it. "What?"
I feel that familiar lump in my throat swell. "If H-Harry hasn't k-killed V-Voldemort... And if V-Voldemort k-knows about m-me... He'll come after us."
Ron pulls me toward him and kisses my forehead. "God, 'Mione... I'd never let anything happen to you. Ever. If Harry... And I'm not saying that he's dead... But, if something should happen to him..." He pulls my chin up and stares into my eyes. "I will always protect you no matter what. I promised Harry that much."
I frown up at him. "Ron, no offense, but if Harry can't protect me, how can you? Harry's one of the most powerful wizards around."
I see a flash of hurt in his eyes. Great, the only friend I have left and I've just insulted him. "I may not be as powerful as Harry," he says softly, "but 'Mione, I'm here. I'd die before I'd let anyone hurt you."
With his words, the hurt fades and now I see resolve in his eyes. Suddenly I feel safer than I have in the last month.
I settle against him and try to imagine that it's Harry. It's all I can do.
* The Book Junkie is my beta's brainchild. So, you know... I don't own that either...