Well, I could make excuses, but why would I? I hope everyone a joyous Chrismahanukwaanzakah (whatever you celebrate) and is ready for an exciting new year. Anyway, here's chapter 19… You've been waiting for this one, so I hope you all enjoy reading it and much as I enjoyed FINALLY writing it. I'll try not to take too long on the next chapter (I think I always say that, don't I?) But anyway… I think that's enough from me… Oh! One more thing… This song 'Cry' by James Blunt is awesome. Actually the entire CD is awesome and if you've ever heard anything by him and liked it, you would like the CD. This song just seemed to fit what I was writing, so I think you'll see… Okay… I'm stopping now… I swear…
Chapter Nineteen:
Cry
"I have seen peace, I have seen pain
Resting on the shoulders of your name
Do you see the truth through all their lies?
Do you see the world through troubled eyes?
And if you want to talk about it anymore,
Lie here on the floor and cry on my shoulder,
I'm a friend
"I have seen birth, I have seen death
Lived to see a lover's final breath
Do you see my guilt? Should I feel fright?
Is the fire of hesitation burning bright?
And if you want to talk about it once again
On you I depend, I'll cry on your shoulder
You're a friend
"You and I have been through many things
I'll hold on to your heart
I wouldn't cry for anything
But don't go tearing your life apart
"I have seen fear, I have seen faith
Seen the look of anger on your face
And if you want to talk about what will be
Come and sit with me, and cry on my shoulder
I'm a friend
And if you want to talk about it anymore
Lie here on the floor and cry on my shoulder
I'm a friend"
"Cry"
-James Blunt
"You're a stupid, stupid git, Harry…" I splash cold water on my face and run my hand through my hair, making it stick up even more. "Stupid…" I drain the sink, dry my hands on a towel and throw the door open. I duck quickly into my room and throw myself onto my bed, deciding against it right after I land. "I have to leave…" I mutter. "I have to get out of here…" I pick up dirty sweaters and start throwing them into the trunk at the end of my bed.
"Harry?" says a sweet voice from within the doorway. "Harry, what are you doing?"
I smile. "'She speaks. Oh, speak again bright angel!'" I turn to face her. "I'm leaving."
"Why?" Hermione's eyes grow wide and she steps closer to me. "Why would you want to leave?"
I cup her cheek in my hand. "Oh, Hermione…" I sigh. "I can't be around here with you and Ron together… I'd end up killing him."
She closes her eyes and presses her face into my palm. "He… He left me, Harry…"
I feel warm tears trickle across my fingers. "What?"
"He said that you and I belonged together… That we were fate… And who was to argue with fate? He's moving in with Luna right now…"
"Well, he's definitely not wasting any time!" I exclaim vehemently.
"Harry, it's not like they're getting married tomorrow. Luna's offered him her couch as a friend until after Ginny and Draco's wedding. After all, would you want him here while you are?"
I stare into her eyes. "God, I've missed this…"
She nods. "I know… We can be together now, Harry."
"You're not upset about Ron?"
She shrugs. "I should be… But we've grown so far apart… Our relationship was created out of convenience, it only makes sense that it end the same way. Our relationship was doomed from the beginning when we were both still in love with other people. Ron always knew that you and I would be together just like we did. If… Well, Ron will find his soul mate, I have no doubt. We just needed to realize that it wasn't me."
I smile. "I get you all to myself?"
"We have a son, Harry… James is…"
"He comes first to you, just like he should. Hermione, I won't try to replace Ron. I understand that Ron has done my job for the last eight years… If James doesn't want to recognize me as his father, I could hardly blame him."
She shakes her head. "No, Harry… James loves you. He understands that you and Ron are both his fathers-"
"'James has two daddies?'" I joke and wrap my arms around her.
She lightly hits my shoulder. "He's been incredibly mature about the whole thing…"
I rest my chin on her head. "He gets that from you…"
"You're saying that after the way I've acted? He gets it from you… He's incredibly self-driven… That he gets from both of us I suspect. My drive was in books, yours was in killing Voldemort."
She's babbling, which means that she's nervous. "Hermione…" I whisper, bringing my lips dangerously close to hers.
She pulls away. "I'm still married, Harry…"
"Yes, how can we go about fixing that?"
"Well… Ron or I will draw up the papers and then once that party signs, the document will appear wherever the other spouse is. Once both have signed it, the rings disappear and all contracts are null and void."
"Oh." I'm a bit speechless.
"Yeah, it's a lot faster than the Muggle way of doing things."
Okay, so my plans for this evening are shot until Ron can draw up papers… "Well…"
"We can talk," Hermione suggests, sitting on the bed and patting the spot next to her.
I decline. "Nothing against you, Hermione, but I would have… thoughts if I sat next to you on a bed…"
She laughs. "You haven't changed at all…" She whispers as I conjure a chair and pull it up in front of her. "It's amazing…"
I rest my forehead on hers and our fingers somehow intertwine. "God, it's incredible how they remember that."
She sighs. "Harry, I missed you so much."
"I missed you too, love…" I brush a tear away with my thumb. "There was never a time when I didn't think of you… You were always the reason that I fought so hard. I couldn't imagine doing anything but protecting you. You became my reason… I'm so glad to have you now…"
"You have no idea… what I went through…" Her voice breaks. "Not knowing… You said you'd never leave me…"
"Oh, baby…" I take her into my arms and just hold her. "I never will again. I promise… I promise… I'll never leave you ever again…" We sit, the silence broken only by sniffles or the occasional gasp of breath. "I love you…" I whisper into her hair.
"Oh, Harry…" she says. "I love you too…"
There's a faint tapping on the window. I rise and open it to allow in a majestic barn owl. "Who's this, Hermione?"
"It's Aphrodite… She's my owl…" Hermione holds out her arm and the owl lands gracefully and sticks out its leg to revel a scribbled note. "'Hermione,'" she reads aloud. "'I'm having the divorce papers drawn up as you read this. All of my things have been moved into Luna's. Number 12 is yours and Harry's now. I won't try to keep you two apart any longer. I've done enough damage as it is. Just remember that I love you, Hermione… I always loved you. Harry, mate… Take good care of her or I will tear you limb from limb and feed you to Remus at the next full moon. Ron.'"
I sigh as a bright flash illuminates the room. "Erm… Hermione… Here are your divorce papers…"
She crosses over to stand by the crimson document and nods. "It seems like it…" She takes the equally scarlet quill and sighs. "It just seems so… Final."
I shrug. "I don't want to rush you, Hermione. Do what you feel is best when you feel it's for the best."
She smiles at me. "Thank you, Harry… This is for the best… for all of us…" She takes a deep breath and signs her name neatly under Ron's messy scrawl. No sooner than she dots the 'I' in her first name, the parchment rolls itself up, seals itself and vanishes. Her wedding ring glows red for a second then it disappears and she gasps. "Oh, Harry!" She rushes to my arms and lifts her face towards me. "I've dreamed of this moment since the night you left…"
I touch my nose to hers. "Are you still married?"
She shakes her head. "No… I'm yours."
I nod. "That means I can do this then…" I plant my lips on hers and marvel at the feeling. I've forgotten how soft they were… I've forgotten what her hand felt like twisting in my hair… I've forgotten how her body presses perfectly into mine… I run my hand over her back and she deepens our chaste kiss. After a moment, I pull away and stare into her eyes. "We can wait if you--"
She shakes her head. "This is what I want. What I've always wanted."
I grin. "Me too."
* * *
I'm scared, Hermione. It's the first time out here I've been scared. I know now that I will probably die, and that's what scares me. I'm not scared of dying exactly… In fact, if it weren't for you, I would have died a long time ago. I'm scared of leaving you alone. I don't want you to go through life wondering 'what if'. What if Harry had lived? What if we'd had a family like we'd talked about? What if Voldemort had lost?
God, Hermione, I just don't want us to live in regret. I don't want you to ever regret anything. Which was why I was so hesitant that night up on the Tower… I didn't want you to regret anything. Because I know what it feels like to want something right next to you… I know what it's like to see victory but not be able to claim it and I'll be damned, Hermione, if I'm going to let you regret anything. The only thing that I want is your happiness, dear heart. I'd volunteer myself to Voldemort if it would make you happy. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you… You are my light, my soul, and my joy… You are the only thing in this world that saved me from myself…
So, if we don't meet again in this life, if we never get to have our eight children, if we never get to touch each other again, and if I'm never allowed to breathe your name again, know this; I love you, Hermione Jane Granger.
I always have.
Read? Reply! Thankee muchly!