A/N: And there was much rejoicing! Hey! I hope everyone had a simply marvellous Christmas and I hope that the new year will bring many wonderful things to you and yours! That said, I've missed you guys! I wrote a little one-shot companion piece to this called 'Daughters'. So, if you haven't read that yet, be sure to because it gives broad hints to some things that will happen in this story. Now, I'm sure you're all tired of me going on and on and on and not really saying anything, so before I completely lose you, read on! I'll try to have the n ext chapter posted soon. This has definitely been the hardest part for me to write and I hope you'll enjoy this little part. Thanks to my betas (Jennza, Jenna, and Lily) and here's a nod to AJA! (See, I mentioned you!) ;) Read on!
~Ron~
Chapter Fifteen
Cheers, Darlin'
"Cheers, darlin'
Here's to you and your lover boy
Cheers, darlin'
I got years to wait around for you
Cheers, darlin'
I got your wedding bells in my ear
Cheers, darlin'
You gave me three cigarettes to smoke my tears away
And I die when you mention his name
And I lie I should have kissed you
When we were running in the rain
What am I, darlin'?
A whisper in your ear
A piece of your cake
What am I, darlin'
A boy you can fear
Or your biggest mistake...
Cheers, darlin'
Here's to you and your lover man
Cheers darlin'
I'll just hang around and eat from a can
Cheers darlin'
I got a ribbon of green on my guitar
Cheers, darlin'
I got a beauty queen
To sit not very far from me
I die when he comes around to take you home
I'm too shy I should have kissed you
When we were alone
What am I, darlin'?
A whisper in your ear?
A piece of your cake?
What am I, darlin'?
The boy you can fear?
Or your biggest mistake?
What am I?
Here's to you and your lover
What am I, darlin'?
I got years to wait around for you"
'Cheers, Darlin'
-Damien Rice
"Bloody git," I mutter, exhaling the smoke from my cigarette. I only smoke when I'm very upset and this happens to be one of my worst chain smoking binges ever. The smoke burns my eyes and the Firewhiskey stings my throat. In a way, I'm quite glad; it gives me an excuse for the tears. I've tried to quell them, only to find them unstoppable. They roll down my cheeks relentlessly, leaving shiny streaks on my pallid skin. I can't stop staring at myself in the mirror behind the countless bottles of liquor in the bar. And I can't reason why... I look awful. I extinguish the butt of my cigarette and light another.
"Can I have a light?" asks a sweet and oddly familiar voice from behind me.
I turn."Luna?"
"Oh, hello, Ronald. I thought that was you." Luna Lovegood sits beside me and flips her long dirty-blonde hair behind her shoulder. "And I must admit, I recognised your hair rather than anything else. Still flaming red, I see." She sighs. "So, how about that light?"
I notice that she doesn't have a cigarette. "Erm... Do you need something to smoke?"
She shakes her head and laughs. "Oh, Ronald! I don't smoke. Find it a disgusting habit, actually." She pulls a piece of parchment out of her lime green robes. "Can you light this for me?"
I put my wand to the parchment, mutter the charm, and watch it curl. "What are you doing?"
Luna puts her face close, but not too close to the parchment. "Fire fascinates me. It's almost as if it's alive. It's born... It breathes oxygen... When its resources are depleted it dies... Very much like mankind, don't you think?"
The cigarette dangles on my lip. I pull it away. "Right..." So I see she's just as strange as she was when we were in school.
She sighs and sips a glass of water. "So... How are you and Hermione?"
I snort and take a drag from the cigarette. "Fine."
"Really?"
I nod and take a drink of Firewhiskey.
"You always were a horrible liar." She eyes me and twirls a strand of hair around her finger.
I blow the smoke in her face.
She coughs. "That was a little rude, Ronald..."
"Well, who in bloody hell are you to come nosing into my life? Where have you been since Hogwarts?"
"Training," she says simply. "In the States. I decided to become a Healer."
"Well, I knew that!" I scoff.
"Then why did you ask?" she replies coolly.
"Touche." I drain the glass of Firewhiskey and nod for another. "Do you want anything to drink?"
"Anyway, St. Mungo's contacted me about a month ago- Actually, can I have another water, please- and told me that they had an open position if I wanted to come home. I kept meaning to look you up and pay a visit, but I've been working all of the time. I'm on call tonight, actually." She smiles at me. "So, what have you and Hermione been up to?"
I shake my head and chuckle. "You never give up, do you?"
She shrugs. "It depends. I'm interested in seeing what I missed. I heard that Harry was back..."
I scoff. "Yeah..." I pull another cigarette out of the pack and light it. "Bloody git..." I mutter again.
"Want to talk about it?" she questions me.
"Not really..." I sip my new glass of Firewhiskey.
"Okay-"
"Well, actually... Since you asked..." I rest my chin on my hand and look over at her. "I mean... You know me pretty well, right?"
"Well, I did date you..."
"Right... And I'm a pretty respectable person, right?"
She nods.
"All right... So what does Harry have that I don't?"
"Well, I-"
"I mean, sure, he's the Boy-Who-Bloody-Lived, but like that matters. Who was there for her during the thirty-eight hours of labour?"
"Ronald, I don't think that-"
"And..." I lean closer to her. "You know what? He wasn't even mine... I've raised Harry Potter's son... I've done it all... I stood by her through everything! And what do I get in return?"
"I-"
"She just runs right off with him. No telling what they're doing now..." I empty the glass. "I don't even want to think about it..."
Luna stares at me. "I think I've missed something..."
I nod. "You have no idea."
We sit in an uncomfortable quiet for a moment.
"So you and Hermione are still married?" she asks, egging on the conversation.
"Yep." All right, so I'm a little bit embarrassed because of my outburst...
"You love her a lot, right?"
"More than life itself."
She half-smiles. "I could tell. After you broke up with her and she and Harry got together... Even though you accepted my offer for a date and even after we'd been together for a while... I could tell by the way you looked at her." She sighs. "It hurt for a while... Then I guess I figured out that you wouldn't be happy with anyone but her..."
"She was my everything... I had her there for a while... Then he had to step in."
"Are you talking about now or then?"
I shrug. "I don't know..." I twist my wedding band nervously.
"It was noble of you... Raising his son like that..."
I look up at her. "How did you..."
"You just told me..."
"Oh." I remember... Kind of.
"Well, this is awkward..." she says to no one.
I nod. "Yep." I turn my attention to a wizard who is asking Seamus if a room is available.
"Leaky Cauldron full, eh?" Seamus asks the inquirer.
The wizard nods and Parvati leads the man upstairs. "You're lucky..." I hear her tell him. "This is the last room. Ever since everyone heard that Harry Potter was back..."
"Bloody hell..." I mutter.
"What?" Luna asks from beside me.
"I've just realised... I have no where to stay tonight."
Luna wrinkles her forehead. "Well... I have a flat... But you'd have to sleep on the couch. And there are boxes everywhere. I've not been home enough lately to unpack anything but the necessities..."
"Oh, no!" I say quickly. I don't want her to get the wrong idea or anything. "I couldn't impose, Luna!"
"Hey," she winks at me. "My couch is always open to any ex-boyfriend that needs it."
I smile. "I would really appreciate it..."
She shrugs. "Well, let's go then."
Her flat turns out to be a Muggle flat not far from St. Mungo's. "Easy access..." she mutters as she unlocks the door and we step inside. She sets her wand on the dining table and sighs. "Home sweet home."
"Wow..." I breathe. "You weren't kidding."
There are piles of boxes sitting around and the furniture is the bare minimum. A couch sits in the middle of the living room and a coffee table is piled high with dishes. "Sorry..." she brushes past me and grabs the bowls.
"Why don't you just use your wand?" I shrug watching her carry them to the sink.
"It's a Muggle building, Ronald... Oh! I'll get your blankets." She bustles down the hall and I see her wand tip flare.
"Lu... Luna! Your wand is flashing!" I call to her.
"Oh..." I hear a muffled call and she throws the blanket to me as she picks up her wand. "Emergency... Come... immediately..." she says slowly.
Apparently the flashes make some sort of sense to her. "Wh... What?"
"There's an emergency at St. Mungo's. They need me." She pulls her cloak on. "I hate to leave you like this... Erm... You can eat what you can find if you get hungry, which I know you will... The toilet is down the hall... If you need anything... Come find me at the hospital. I'll be home as soon as I can." She pauses, hand on the door frame. "It's nice being back. Goodbye, Ronald."
"'Bye..." I call as she shuts the door. I collapse onto the couch and look around at the bare walls. "Oh, I should not be here right now..."
I pick up an old edition of The Quibbler and leaf through it, stopping every now and then to snigger.
"Ronald..." I look up and see Luna standing in the doorway.
"I thought you went to work..." I close the paper and stand up.
She nods and I notice how pale her face is. "I think you need to come with me."
"Why? Is it James? Hermione? Ginny? Mum or Dad?"
She shakes her head. "Just... Come."
I pull on my coat and follow her. Maybe I'll find Harry lying there in a half dead state... I smile.
Is that bad?
* * *
I rock back and forth on my heels. Dumbledore smiles confidently at me and Ginny makes her way down the aisle.
Mum nods to the four-piece string quartet and they begin playing the wedding march. The great double doors open and Hermione starts down the aisle. Her stomach has been charmed flat for the occasion (honestly, we don't need anymore rumours than necessary floating around) and I can tell that she hates it. I don't like it very much either. The lack of the little rounded pooch she has makes her look incomplete. She looks more delicate this way... Like a porcelain doll that could break when someone looks at it the wrong way.
Her father escorts her down the aisle and she looks up once and smiles at me. When they reach us, her father kisses her cheek and gives her hand to me. I take it and we face Dumbledore.
I hear nothing. I reply when necessary but the whole of my attention is focussed on Hermione. I try to read her expression. Is she happy? Upset? Discouraged? Rueful?
She says her vows half-heartedly and I squeeze her hand encouragingly. She slips the ring onto my finger almost reluctantly and when Dumbledore pronounces us husband and wife, I see a tiny tear trickle from her left eye. I kiss it away and then land my lips on hers, wrapping my arms around her waist to pull her closer to me.
Surprisingly, she places her arms around my neck and kisses me back. It's almost like we really were getting married... But no... I couldn't be that lucky... I couldn't get her on my own... She's mine by default.
I pull away from her and she smiles at me. I lean closer to her. "I'll always love you, 'Mione... Even if you can't love me yet..."
She nods. "I know, Ron... That's one reason I married you."
As we walk out into the entrance hall, I realise that it will be my goal in life to make her love me as much as she loves Harry.
And as we dance our first dance as a married couple, I realise that my goal will never be achieved.