A/N: Sorry for the delay in this chapter. I haven't been feeling well. I've had a temperature of a 104.3 for two days straight. I went to the doctors and was diagnosed with double ear infection, (inner, middle and outer) in both ears and strep throat so my days have been numbered. Sorry again, and Thank you to all who have reviewed. It is because of you I have placed this up as it is. Thanks again. Jade.
Chapter Twelve
Finding Reasons to Continue
Evan hangs back as the group leads the way; he looks backwards wondering if he should just leave. He feels the presence of a man who when they had first met in his world, they had disliked each other but over time they learned to get past their beginning and start again. Ever since then they'd become fast friends surprising Ron and Hermione to no ends. That is until his position as spy was found out and he was cruelly murdered. "How do you feel Professor," Evan asks knowing he can't leave now, Severus won't let him.
Severus starts to walk with the rest of them but pauses as he realizes their young charge isn't exactly with them. He turns around and watch as Mr. Knight stops in his tracks and turns around, Severus is surprised by this feeling bubbling up within him, something he never thought would happen with someone who looks so much like James Potter. This feeling is foreign to him and he doesn't know how to handle it, he knows nothing of pride, of caring and yet here he is feeling them. He instantly knows Mr. Knight is about to take flight and decides to step in to prevent it. To say he is shocked by the question is an understatement, but it pales in comparison to the concern he can hear in the young man's voice. Concern for him of all people, he pauses as he thinks about this question, "I have had better days," he decides to say not understanding this need to be completely honest with him as though he knows if he lies to him it will chase him away. Something he desperately doesn't want to do and he doesn't know why.
Evan turns to look at the mirror of one of his former Professors and friends. "I understand that sir," he agrees with a slight tilt of his head.
Severus raises his left hand to show the way to the main doors, "shall we," he asks respectfully.
Evan smiles softly at him and he can't help but feel as though there is hope in the world again, something he had feared was lost. "I don't really know if I should," Evan answers honestly.
This confuses Severus but at the same time it delights him to be trusted by this strange and amazing young one. "Is there something wrong," Severus asks concerned.
Evan looks down at his feet for a moment as he tries to put together his thoughts, he looks back up, and into the eyes of Severus, "I don't know what I am doing here," he finally admits sounding all of his fifteen years.
"Why did you come," Severus asks softly.
"To Hogwarts or here," Evan asks.
"Both," Severus says.
"To Hogwarts because I dreamt of your, all of your deaths and the fall of Hogwarts, I couldn't let her fall," he says as Severus gasps at what was about to happen if this young man hadn't showed up when he did. "To here," Evan continues after a moment, "because of a promise I made, but I don't know the reasons for here being where the promise has brought me," he pauses, "if that makes sense," he asks softly.
Severus nods his head in understanding that he is confused on the location, "can't you return then," he asks after a moment of thought.
"I wish I could, but it seems throughout my studies, and my feelings that I am unfortunately stuck here," Evan answers truthfully in his soft voice.
"And you left behind," Severus starts before he remember this boy has no family.
"My family, my life, my loved ones, everything," Evan finishes with a small remembering smile, "yes," he agrees after a moment.
"And you don't want to be here," Severus asks as he more or less points to the school.
"It was my first home, but it isn't the same," Evan says after a moment.
"How's it not the same," he asks interested and wondering at his words.
"I know every nook and cranny, I can tell you every secret passageway in there, I can tell you about places even the professors don't know about, I can even tell you why the stairs change, but what I can't tell you is how this," Evan says as he points to the school, "version of the school feels, I haven't been here for the last five years of my life, I haven't been here feeling, sensing, getting to know this school," he pauses for a moment. "It's like going home and finding that it's not really your home but an imitation of it," he tries to explain.
Severus thought about this for a moment and is surprised to find him-self actually trying to understand what he has been told, been trusted with. Bringing his left hand up he gently rubs his chin in thought and then his eyes widen in horror as he realizes just what he showed the young man before him. He quickly drops his arm and tries to figure a way out of disappointing Evan. To his surprise Evan looks down at his arm and then back up to him with a slightly amused expression in his gray eyes, no wait they aren't gray, they are greenish gray. He knows for a fact they weren't that color before. "It's okay Professor," Evan says to him.
"How can you say that," Severus asks in a sad whisper. "You just placed your life on the line fighting Death Eaters and yet you're okay with talking to one," he asks in amazement.
"I am okay talking with you sir," Evan corrects.
"Same thing," Severus says in a sigh.
"Is it," Evan asks in return, which catches Severus's attention. "I don't believe it is sir," Evan continues knowing the questioning look in the other man's eyes. "You see if you'd been as you say a Death Eater, you would've murdered the professors long before I got here today," Evan explains. "Besides would a Death Eater care what anyone else thought of them, have you ever met a true Death Eater with a conscience? I know I haven't and I've met a lot of them in my time, but you sir are not one of them," Evan says to the shock of Severus.
"So you don't mind," He asks hopefully not understanding why his approval means so much.
"I don't if you don't mind about me," Evan offers.
"What about you," Severus asks knowing there is nothing he wouldn't accept about this boy before him.
Evan raises his hand to his scar, "that I am a marked man, that I can see, feel, hear, know things, that I am abnormal," he lists for the man before him.
"You're not abnormal," Severus all but growls out trying to convince Evan of this, at the same time shocking himself with his concern for this kid, a kid he has just barely met.
Evan smiles at this, "and you're not a Death Eater," he says in return shocking Severus into silence.
All of a sudden Severus Snape smiles a true smile and can't help but want to dance as a heavy burden has just been lifted from his soul. This kid has just done something no one else has been able to do; he has helped him to understand he isn't evil because he chose not to be. He isn't evil even though he has the mark of evil on him. After a moment, he decides to answer Evan's first question. "About whether or not you should enter," he says softly to the attentive boy before him. "Give it a chance, it may not be as good as the original but maybe, just maybe it will be better," he offers as he once again extends his hand to the front doors of the school.
"I'll take your advice Professor, thank you," Evan says softly and with a slight respectful bow he turns to head into the large building before them, with Severus Snape of all people at his side.