Ron Luna: A Musicology
By Lauren G.
Chapter 14: Snogging In The Boys Room
Author's Note: This one's a DOOZY:P
Ron's P.O.V.
Ron impatiently tapped his foot as he listened to Snape drone on and on about potion ingredients that are allergic to their selves. He sighed and drummed his fingers on the tabletop.
"Mr. Weasley." Professor Snape said, rounding on Ron, slamming his palms onto the front of Ron's desk. "If you do not pay attention I will be forced to dock your grade by 5 points every time Gryffindor house loses points!"
"Eep!" Ron said, straightening up in his chair. Professor Snape headed back to the board. Ron turned to Harry.
"Did you ever seem to have one of those days when everyone seems to be on your case? From teachers down to your girlfriend?" Ron muttered to Harry.
"Oh yeah. What's Luna getting on you about?" Harry whispered back.
"Wants me to help her with her Ghost Mouse experiment." Ron said unenthusiastically. Harry chuckled softly.
"Good luck with that." He said to him. Ron glared at him.
"I mean, I can handle her telling me that Smeckledorfs exist, and that if I don't wash behind my ears, Wax lice will attack me, but Ghost Mice?" Harry just smiled.
"That used to happen to me all the time right at the beginning of term." Harry admitted to Ron. "But I found a way to get out of it."
"Out of what?" Ron questioned.
"Well, it got Hermione off my case and the teachers off my mind." Harry said, shrugging.
"What did you do?" Ron demanded quietly.
"Snogged in the boys room." Harry grinned. Ron's mind began to race with hormonal thoughts. He began tapping his foot impatiently again.
`Ugh…' Ron thought to himself. `I'm sittin' here in the classroom. It's such a drag. Listening to the teacher rant just ain't my bag. When two bells ring I know it's my cue. Gonna meet my girl on floor number two!'.
A big grin spread across his face and Harry noticed it in a flash. What seemed like an eternity later, two gong like bells rang out throughout the hallways and the classrooms and students clamored for their belongings and headed to the Great Hall. Ron raced out of the classroom to find Luna. He found her heading down the stairs from the 4th floor.
"Luna!" He called, racing up to her.
"Hi Ron! Guess what? I just found the perfect way to trap Ghost mice!" She said, beaming at him.
"Cool it with the mice stuff, come with me!" He said, grabbing her hand and dragging her to the second floor.
"Where are we going?"
"The boys room." He said matter o' factly.
"Why? gasp You found GHOST MICE didn't you?" She squealed.
"No." He said, grinning.
"Then why are we going in here?" Luna whined as Ron pulled her into the boys lavatory and shoving her in the nearest stall.
"Snogging!" He grinned, pinning her against the green wooden wall of the stall.
"Snogging in the boys room?" Luna said, wrapping her arms around Ron's neck.
"Snogging in the boys room." Ron replied with a mischievously (very Fred and George like) smile. He started to kiss her neck. Luna began to breathe heavily and raked her fingernails along his shoulders.
"Ron… Ron… Ron stop! Is anybody around?" Luna said, pushing him away. Ron groaned.
"Lu!" He said. Luna crossed her arms across her chest and backed out of the stall and stepped out into the hall briefly,
"The coast is clear." He called to her.
"Check the stalls." Luna called back. Ron rolled his eyes and peered into the open stalls.
"No one is in here. Besides, nobody comes here but Seamus and Dean sometimes to smoke cigarettes. If they got caught here it would be death for them for sure." Ron said as he came back into the stall where Luna stood.
"If WE get all it will be the death of us all." She retorted. Ron just enveloped him into his arms and started kissing her again.
"Hey Harry!" Seamus said to Harry as they were eating lunch in the Great Hall. "Where's Ron?"
"Oh… Ron is…. Occupado." Harry said to Seamus, winking.
"Snogging in the boys room?" Seamus asked, raising an eyebrow, a grin on his face.
"Snogging in the boys room." Harry answered, smiling, and took another lemon tart from the plate in front of him.
By the time lunch was over, Ron and Luna were still in the boys bathroom. Their hair was tousled and both were perspiring. Ron's hands were up Luna's shirt, and half of Ron's shirt was untucked.
"We should really stop. We need to go to class."
"Screw class." Ron muttered, keeping his hands where they were.
"Screw you. I'm going to fail Arithmancy now." Luna said, pulling Ron closer to her.
"Screw you? When?" Ron said, waggling his eyebrows. He ran his hands down her front and cupped them on her bottom, pulling him close to her. Luna giggled.
"Mr. Weasley? Is Mr. Weasley here?" Professor McGonagall asked, peering around the class.
"Mr. Potter. Do you know the whereabouts of Ronald?" McGonagall asked Harry. Harry bit his lip to keep from laughing.
"No ma'am. I haven't a clue." Harry innocently said. Professor McGonagall raised an eyebrow at him and headed down the aisle of the classroom and out the door.
"Crap!" Harry whispered. "McGonagall's gone looking for Ron.
"Where IS Ron?" Hermione asked. Harry just weakly smiled at her.
"HARRY!" Hermione said aghast. "You told him about… About…. The lavatory?" She hissed.
"Yes…." Harry said, looking guilty.
"Shame on you. Do you know what McGonagall is going to do when she finds them?" Harry shrugged.
"We haven't got caught." Harry replied.
"Well, lets just she finds him soon." Hermione said, turning back to her Transfiguration book.
Ron was surprised that they hadn't been found yet, or that the mirror across from their stall had fogged up. Ron and Luna had their swollen lips locked in a passionate kiss. Ron stumbled backwards with the weight of Luna pressing her body against his. As he fell back against the other wall of the stall, Luna in his arms, he stepped on Luna's book bag and the sound of breaking glass was heard.
"What was that?" Luna said, pulling away. They looked down. A goopy red potion was dripping out of a glass bottle and spreading everywhere, while emitting clouds of gray smoke that soon began to fill their stall.
"Pepper Up potion!" Luna said. "I figure that if I let the Pepper Up potion air out, it will turn into a jello like substance that I can transfigure into cheese and set them in regular Muggle mouse traps to trap a Ghost mouse!" Luna said happily.
"Luna!" He whined.
Professor McGonagall was getting angrier by the minute. She had not found Ron on the 4th or the 5th floor. As she wandered around the third floor, she headed towards the nearest staircase and saw smoke billowing out of the one of the boys bathrooms Her eyebrows furrowed and she hurried to the restroom. She waved the smoke out of her eyes and opened the bathroom door.
"Mr. Weasley are you in here?" McGonagall called. Luna and Ron froze in their stall.
"Mr. Weasley! I know you're in here!" McGonagall yelled. "Smoking is strictly against school rules!" As the teacher emerged further into the bathroom, she stopped in front of the smoking stall where her mouth dropped open.
"Hello Professor!" Luna cheerfully replied, giving a little wave, her shirt half unbuttoned.
"Professor, I'm not foolin' with your rules. EVERYBODY knows smoking isn't allowed in school." Ron replied grinning. Professor McGonagall looked up from the broken Pepper Up potion bottle and her eyebrows narrowed.
"Run." Ron said. He and Luna raced out of the bathroom, skirting around the teacher, McGonagall close on their heels.
Smoking In The Boys Room
By Motley Crue
Did you ever seem to have one of those days
When everyone seemed to be on your case
From your teacher all the way down to your best girlfriend
Well that used to happen to me all the time
But I found a way to get out of it
Sittin' in the classroom thinkin' it's a drag
Listening to the teacher rap-just ain't my bag
When two bells ring you know it's my cue
Gonna meet the boys on floor number 2
Smokin' in the boys room
Smokin' in the boys room
Teacher don't you fill me up with your rules
Everybody knows that smokin' ain't allowed in school
Checkin' out the halls makin' sure the coast is clear
Lookin' in the stalls-nah, there ain't nobody here
My buddies Sixx, Mick Tom
To get caught would surely be the death of us all
Smokin' in the boys room
Smokin' in the boys room
Teacher don't you fill me up with your rules
Everybody knows that smokin' ain't allowed in school
Put me to work in the school bookstore
Check-out counter, and I got bored
Teacher was lookin' for me all around
Two hours later you know where I was found
Smokin' in the boys room
Smokin' in the boys room
Teacher don't you fill me up with your rules
Everybody knows that smokin' ain't allowed in school
Smokin' in the boys room
Smokin' in the boys room
Smokin' in the boys room
Smokin' in the boys room
Teacher don't you fill me up with your rules
Everybody knows that smokin' ain't allowed in school
One more time
Smokin' in the boys room
Smokin' in the boys room
Teacher I ain't foolin' around with your rules
Everybody knows that smokin' ain't allowed in school
Author's Note: Whee! Cute huh? Let me know what ya'll thought!
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