Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me.
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Ch21: HALLOWEEN
Brown leafed vertigo, where skeletal life is known
I remember Halloween
This day anything goes
Burning bodies hanging from poles, I remember Halloween
Halloween, Halloween, Halloween, Halloween...
(Halloween by AFI.)
Harry turned over in his bed and felt his arm connect with something smooth and warm. Not thinking too much about it, he snuggled closer to the source, laying still until he had to brush away something from his face. Only then did he become aware of the heavy weight that lay across his chest. Startled, Harry realized that the arm belonged to someone and he opened his eyes quickly, frozen in place. He then recognized the sleeping beauty beside him; her eyes closed with dark, soft lashes around them. She had a slight pouting expression on her face as she slept, and Harry could not keep a happy grin from spreading across his face.
Still half asleep, he stroked a hand over her cheek, her hair, her shoulders, and marvelled yet again how he could be so lucky to have a girl like her in his life. She was everything he could ask for in the world.
Snuggling himself even closer, he tried to keep that thought in mind so he did not had to think about what was going on in the outside world. He returned his attention to Hermione and studied her for several minutes, almost without blinking. Eventually she mumbled something in her sleep and her eyes opened softly.
"Hi there," she said sleepily and gave him a crooked grin, before she proceeded with rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. "How are you feeling?"
"Fine," said Harry truthfully, amazing himself. "I can get used to this you know."
Hermione rolled her eyes.
"Don't expect it to become a habit, Potter," she murmured in a bad imitation of Snape, and her eyes shut themselves again.
Harry studied her a little while longer to see if she woke up again, but when she didn't he realized that he couldn't avoid the real world any longer. Getting up, he showered and dressed quickly. He didn't want his guards (three of them now) to worry and come looking for him. He had a sneaking suspicion that Hermione would be highly embarrassed if they did.
After Harry was properly dressed, he went over to the window by his bed and looked out. The sun was shining and the sea glittered brightly. Harry shook his head in disbelief; how could a day be so shiny and happy when there was a great chance that he wouldn't live to see the end of it? A lump formed in his throat when he realized what that would mean... he had thought about it of course, but now he had so much more to lose. He no longer had the desire to end everything just to see his parents and Godfather again.
Now, dying would not only mean to be parted with his friends, but his love too. The thought of never seeing Hermione again was too frightening for him to even think about...
Clenching his fist, he knew that whatever it took he would never let Voldemort get his hands on her.
Bending over her, he gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Wake up, Beautiful."
"I'm awake... just a minute," was the vague response he got, and he shook her shoulder gently.
"Breakfast. We need to go before someone begin to search for us."
"Alright, alright, I'm up..." said Hermione and slowly made her way out of the bed. Harry smiled faintly and walked to the other side of the room, giving her the privacy she needed to get dressed. He had, however, the opportunity to look in Ron's bed. The bed was empty, but had obviously been slept in. That meant Ron had been there some time during the night and slept a couple of hours before getting up again.
Harry made a mental note to search the redhead down as soon as possible.
-
Breakfast was a quiet affair. At first the whole student body seemed to be as nervous as Harry was, but in the end they gave in to the beautiful day and what had to be the last, sunny day of the year and decided to enjoy it as much as they could. Harry noted with relief that Ron was there, but was disappointed to learn that the boy had no idea where the Marauders map was.
"Sure you haven't borrowed it? You've been away a lot lately," asked Harry again, looking at Ron desperately.
"Yes, of course I am! And it's not like you and Hermione want me around much." Ron sat back on the bench grumpily.
"That's not true, Ron," said Hermione quietly, staring down at her plate. "We've just had a lot to deal with."
Ron sighed. "Yeah, I know. I think we'll all be happy when this day is over."
"Yeah," said Harry, if he was still there. They ate their breakfast quickly and then the three of them (with three more bodyguards trailing behind: Moody, Tonks and Dedalus Diggle) went to the Owlery to send a note to Hagrid, asking him to come and see them in the Gryffindor common room. Harry wasn't allowed outside, but he wanted to talk to his friend and he didn't know any other way to make that happen than asking the half - Giant by Owl post. He felt guilty for not coming to see him more often.
Hagrid came right away; delighted that Harry wanted to talk to him, but also very worried.
"He's good protected, Hagrid," said Hermione in an attempt to calm to man down, as Harry was drowning in a crushing embrace from him. "I think you should let Harry breathe now!"
"Sorry," said Hagrid and sniffed. "I know yeh're a big boy, `Arry."
Harry just nodded, red in the face and trouble breathing. He would never compare Hermione's hugs to be bone crushing again.
"Do yeh still have that pendant?"
"The Birthday present you gave me?" asked Harry, puzzled. He still had it, but whatever for?
"It is a portkey," explained Hagrid like that should be the clearest thing in the world, calmer now. "Just say `Norbert' and it'll activate an' take yeh ter Hogwarts."
"Thanks, Hagrid," said Harry gratefully, stifling a laugh.
Hagrid stayed with them until lunch. They couldn't ask him about Grawp because of Harry's protectors, but they still had a lot to talk about. Hermione seemed much more at ease with the man now as she didn't took his classes and didn't need to worry about them or his teaching abilities.
Eventually Hagrid left to talk to Dumbledore, and the common room quieted down. The trio, Moody, Tonks and Diggle were the only ones left, as the rest of the Gryffindors were either somewhere around in the castle or playing outside in the sun. Harry couldn't help but envy them a little, but he knew the price was too high.
-
They stayed in the tower for several hours. The sky darkened, and people began to come inside again. Ron and Harry had played a couple of rounds with chess, and then he, Ron, Hermione, Parvati and Neville joined together for some Exploding Snap. It was hard for Harry to concentrate, however, and he didn't win once. It didn't help that his protectors were breathing down his neck, not allowing him to forget about the Threat for one second. It didn't seem to matter to them that he was inside a password protected tower in the safest castle in Britain. Still, Harry remembered that Voldemort had been able to break into Gringotts and then he didn't even have a body of his own and was pretty weak.
So why wasn't something happening?
He glanced at Hermione briefly and shot her a weak smile that she didn't return because she was lost in her own thoughts and didn't notice.
Suddenly they heard screams from outside and Harry jolted up from his seat, his heart already galloping so fast that he thought it might burst from his chest. He knew a real scream when he heard one, and that scream definitely was.
McGonagall was already by the window, covering her mouth with her hand. "Oh my..."
These words seemed to bring everyone else out of their frozen state and momentarily there was a race to the nearest window. Harry was one of the first to get there since he was already up and what he saw made him grit his teeth in anger. How dared she!
In the middle of the ground he saw no other than Bellatrix LeStrange, holding a sobbing, little girl harshly by the hair while pointing a wand at her threateningly. Harry faintly recognized the girl as a first year, but he didn't remember her name. He could also see some more children running towards the castle, probably the girl's friends. He could hear they scream for help.
Harry didn't have to be a genius to understand what the Death Eater wanted, and he also knew that she would get it.
"Harry, no." Harry turned his head and gazed into Hermione's wide, frightened eyes. "You're not going."
Suddenly, a magically heightened voice rang through the whole school. If people weren't by a window by then they certainly were on their way to one now. The message was clear:
"GIVE ME POTTER, OR ELSE THIS GIRL DIES!"
Harry felt his heartbeats race up to his throat, making it hard to breath. He felt Hermione gripping his shoulders hard from behind.
"Don't you dare go!"
Shaking slightly, but still surprisingly calm inside he turned to face her, memorizing how beautiful she looked at that moment; her face and eyes were so full of concern for him, she had her hair loosely around her shoulders, framing her face and reflecting the light from the window. She looked into his eyes and paled when she saw that he had already made his decision... he was going.
Harry cupped her face with the palm of his hand, wanting more than ever to say to her that he loved her... but that wouldn't be fair. He loved her too much; he wanted her to be able to go on with her life without him if necessary. Besides, he added inside himself, he could get away with the portkey.
She leaned her face into his hand, tears streaming down her face.
"Don't go... don't do this to me, to us... you're not ready to win over the Dark Lord yet... please..."
"I have to..."
"No!" she cried harder now, her voice more desperate, "you don't have to! You can't - you'll lose-!"
"Ms. Granger is right, Harry," said McGonagall softly. "You have to stay."
Harry turned his attention from Hermione, looking at the professor seriously. "Professor-! That girl - she has nothing to do with this! If I let her stay in the hands of that awful woman then she'll die! That means yet another person have to die for me and that girl doesn't even have a choice! That's not fair and I'm not sure if I can live with it."
"Life isn't fair," said Ron, unhelpfully.
"I can't stand doing nothing!" argued Harry. "Besides, I'll have that portkey Hagrid talked about. Bella doesn't know that. I can just activate it as soon as the girl is in safety."
McGonagall seemed to consider this. "That's true. Do you have it?"
"Yes, it's in my room... Accio pendant!" he said, and soon the pendant was in his hand safely. He quickly fastened it around his neck, comforted by its heavy weight.
"You're not letting him GO, professor?" asked Hermione, horrified. "You can't! It's your job-!"
"It's our best shot, Ms. Granger," said the professor, a defeated edge in her voice. "Only Harry can save this girl, and he has a chance to get away again. We can't ignore that."
Harry swallowed hard. He knew that his protectors would do everything in their power to protect him, but he also knew that if he really wanted to go then they couldn't stop him. He took a hesitant step backwards. His gaze never left Hermione's. "I'm sorry," he said and turned, beginning to go out of the Common room.
Hermione quickly followed him, trying in vain to hold him back as they walked towards the entrance, where several more pupils and teachers were already lined up.
"NO! Don't go!"
"I WANT THE BOY NOW! Crucio!" Another voice zoomed through the air, followed by a set of screams. The little girl was being tortured. Oh, how Harry hated that woman!
When he reached the front doors he saw Dumbledore and McClaggan. When they saw him their eyes widened in surprise. Dumbledore laid a hand on Harry's shoulder.
"Are you sure about what you are doing?"
Harry nodded. "I have a portkey. I can use it as soon as the girl is safe."
"Be careful," said Dumbledore, with a proud glint in his eyes.
"Good luck, Mr. Potter," said McClaggan. "Show her what you got."
Harry nodded again, stepping outside the castle doors. The sun, low on the horizon, was orange and warm, but didn't chase away the increasing coldness Harry felt inside or Hermione's desperate pleads behind him, still trying to prevent him from going.
"If you go I'll never forgive you!" she finally called after him, and this time Harry stopped. Did she mean it? He looked over his shoulder briefly and saw her looking at him, a determent glint in her eyes. His breath caught in his throat and his head swam slightly as he realized that she did mean it, every word. Her words felt like a stab in the heart and he knew that if she couldn't forgive him then he had nothing to live for, because he was nothing without her...
Yet he had to save that girl. It is our choices that show what we truly are. Sometimes Harry wondered if he was too much of a saint for his own good...
Closing his eyes briefly to gather some courage, he began to cross the path between the Bitch and his home. His arm was itching again, begging him to kill or at least torture her for what he was worth. Suddenly he found it very hard to resist to do just that and he remembered all too well what had happened the last time he saw her.
"Let her go, Bellatrix," he said, his voice no longer harsh or wavering as he had to force himself away from the temptation instead of being scared. Hermione's words didn't help the matter. "I'm here now."
Bellatrix smiled ruefully, and with a push she no longer held the girl. The girl scrambled shakily to her feet and ran quickly towards Susan Bones who hugged her tightly, not looking back once.
Bellatrix kept her eyes fixed on him, daring him to move more than one inch towards his wand. However, as they kept looking at each other a plan was forming in Harry's mind. It was a crazy, desperate plan, but it might work....
Finally she closed the rest of the distance between them and confidentially grabbed his arm, holding him hard, reaching for something in her pocket... however, Harry was not to let himself being captured that easily without a fight. He raised his other hand quickly, hitting her with all his force and hatred across her face.
The impact burned his fist and she cried out, staggering a little. She lost the grip on his hand. Then she turned to him, looking furious and mad, raising her wand to attack him back... however, he was already all over her again, kicking, scratching and hitting her for all he was worth. He knew he wasn't much of a fighter, but he also knew that he couldn't allow her to get a good aim at him. His fist hit her in the center of her face and he managed to kick her in her knee, making her howl out in pain.
"This is for Neville!" he yelled, hitting her again, before kicking her in the tummy. Furious tears were running down his face now, but he did not take any notice of them. "This is for SIRIUS!" Bellatrix fell down to her knees. "AND THIS IS FOR ME!" he said, rising his foot and kicked her so hard in the shoulder that he fell backwards himself while the dark haired woman fell down to the ground, unmoving.
He stared at her for a moment, not able to believe what he had just done. She wasn't dead, was she?
But obviously she wasn't, because with a grunt she rolled over and looked at him with a pair of mad eyes that seemed a little unfocused, spitting out blood. "You'll pay for this, Potter." Harry said nothing, trying to calculate if he should reach for his wand or run for it. However, Bellatrix took the choice from him when she found what she had been looking for in her pocket and disappeared. It took Harry a while before he managed to react and when he did he had trouble believing it.
He blinked, but was soon laying flat on the ground laughing desperately; a laugh made of stress and relief rather than fun and joy.
"Harry!" someone said, and when he turned his head he saw the person he wanted to see the most. He didn't fail to notice Ron a little behind her either, red in the face. Getting up, he managed to get his laughing under control just in time before Hermione flung herself over him, squeezing him tightly and sobbing as though her life depended over it. Then her lips found his and she kissed him hard.
Harry was a little surprised at first, but began to kiss her back just as fiercely. After a moment she broke of, glaring at him and then smacking his face hard.
"Ouch!" he said, but the numbing feeling he had in his cheek was nothing compared to the look she
gave him now.
"I can't believe you left!" she hissed, before drying her tears with the palm of her hand. "I mean,
it was an amazing thing you did, saving that girl... I bet she'll be forever grateful. But you can't keep doing
it!"
He stared at her. "What?"
"Don't you see?" she exclaimed. "It's way too predictable! They know what buttons to push, and you fall into their traps time after time!"
Harry didn't know what to say. He knew she was right, but how could she expect him to not do anything?
"Mate," said Ron, his face red and his hair in disarray. Harry smiled at him and gave him a brotherly hug that the Weasley returned.
"Ron," he said.
"Don't do that again."
Harry just smiled helplessly, but as he did that Hermione turned on her heel and ran towards the castle. "You reckon I should go after her?"
"Yeah," said Ron, looking down at his shoes, clearly embarrassed to show emotions like that in front of the whole school. Harry turned red as well; he had completely forgotten about them. He peered after where Hermione had went longingly.
"I hope she'll forgive me."
Ron looked doubtful. "I dunno mate, she looked quite pissed off."
Harry gave the Weasley a dry smile and began to make his way back to the castle, doing his best to ignore the people who tried to ask him questions, whisper and even touch him like that would give them some kind of glory.
He did not feel glorious at all.
-
The Halloween feast was huge, delicious and magical as always, but Harry could not enjoy it as much as he would have liked to. The adrenaline in his body was still pulsing through his veins and the kept replaying the fight over and over in his mind. He smiled a little when he thought about what The Dark Lord would or could do with Bellatrix. He didn't take failure easily and Harry almost wished he could see it.
He kept waiting for his scar to burn, but it never did. When he thought about it his scar hadn't hurt him at all since he began to master Occlumency properly. Akin was wrapped around his wrist, telling Harry what kind of food from the feast that he would like to have taste on. Harry gladly gave it to him; snakes didn't need to be fed often, but he wanted his little friend to get as strong as possible.
Though the feast was huge and he felt as though half of the weight on his shoulders had been lifted, he couldn't help but feeling there was something important he had forgotten.
Cautiously he glanced over at Hermione again, who was resolute in avoiding his eyes. Once he asked her to pass him the juice, but even then she didn't look at him and just passed him the can quietly. He suppressed a sigh. He knew he had to talk to her, but he didn't look forward to it...
-
"Hermione, we need to talk."
"Can't it wait till morning? I'm pretty tired right now."
"No, it can't wait," said Harry, blocking her way to the portrait outside the common room she was trying to get in to. "Please `Mione."
"Don't call me that!" she hissed. "Let me get inside!"
"Look at me," said Harry. "I need to talk to you. Do you really want to go to sleep like this?"
Hermione said nothing to that, but a flush in her cheeks told him that she was about to lose her temper or start to cry. She was biting her lip and twisting her hands at the same time.
"What is it?"
"I-" she started, "I think we should take a break."
Harry stared at her. His attempts to stop her from getting inside were forgotten as he lost his breath completely. "Why?"
"There's lot of things. It's my grades for one, they've been getting worse this year. You heard what professor McGonagall said and Transfiguration is supposed to be a strong subject for me. I'm doing worse in other classes too and it's getting too much. I can't go on like this, even Ron has noticed that.
"I also need to get a little distance from you, Harry. We've been moving things pretty fast in our relationship and the more I'm with you the more I'm afraid of losing you. And when you just left today... I know you had your reasons, but so had that Bellatrix woman... it felt like you were ready to throw all we had out of a window just because of that `saving people thing' of yours and that scares me. I need more time for myself, at least for a while."
Harry was silent, trying to figure out something to say. Somehow he felt that he was watching himself from the side and everything seemed surreal. "We don't need to be together all the time. It was just up until now, with Voldemort's threat and everything."
"No, Harry. Maybe we can start over in a while, but we both need some time to think and sort things through."
"So you're breaking up with me," concluded Harry numbly.
Tears welled up in her eyes. "Yes, I wanted it to work out too, more than anything... but the time wasn't right. I'm really sorry."
Strangely enough Harry felt anger blossom inside him. He knew better then to lash out on her though, so he turned and left, making her way to the Fat Lady deserted.
After all, silence could often be the best revenge and then he didn't have to apologize afterwards for something he said or done.
Harry's feet carried him automatically to the Room of the Requirement and the room provided him a lot of breakable objects and some portraits of Hermione.
He used them well.
-
Harry went to bed that night half an hour before midnight, feeling numb and cold. If someone had told him a day before that he would still be at Hogwarts after Halloween and feel worse, he doubted he would've believed them. But he did. What did he have to live for?
Harry sighed and pressed his hands tightly over his eyes. The curtains around his bed gave him some comfort, but not enough to make him feel better. He glanced over at his nightstand were Akin slept and where he had the mirror that Sirius had given him, and that Hermione had the other part of. He wanted nothing more than to talk to her; to tell her that he loved her and plead with her until she said it back... however, she was probably still angry at him, he realized, and he would have better chance to succeed if he waited until morning.
A morning that seemed far away.
Closing the curtain completely shut so he couldn't see the mirror, he felt his scar prickle evilly in anticipation. What was the Dark Lord planning now? Harry wondered. There was no way Voldemort could be pleased about the event as it turned out. His most loyal Death Eater, beaten by a kid.
Harry smiled for a second, but he did not feel any better. On the contrary, the dark ball that he had felt in his stomach all day seemed to be increasing, strangely enough.
He pondered over that for a moment, thankful for any excuse he had to avoid thinking about Hermione. Eventually he felt sleep pressing in on him and he was just about to let it all go when he heard a soft crack, like the sound of someone stepping on an unstable floor plank.
Harry gritted his teeth in annoyance, but laid still. The feeling of something that was not right was all around him now and refused to go away.
Nervously he found his wand that he always kept beside his pillow and putted on his glasses. Nothing happened, however, and the minutes went by in silence.
This is ridiculous, he thought to himself, glancing at the silver watch he had gotten in his birthday present from Hermione. He hadn't added more names on it; it still had the names; Hermione, Ron, Ginny and himself there. The thought of Hermione almost prevented him from seeing what their names were on, but when he did he gasped: All of the names except himself were at `school,' his, however, was at `danger.' But how could that be? Halloween had passed and Voldemort was... feeling evil, Harry realized. The Dark Lord was waiting for something.
What was more, however, was that Halloween was not over. It was still fifteen minutes left.
Feeling his blood run cold, Harry sat stock-still. He suddenly had a great need to see his protectors. He startled when someone turning over in bed.
Telling himself to breathe and relax, he realized that the watch probably had him on danger since it was still Halloween and the threat still counted. He also realized that for Voldemort having another plan to capture him on the safest place on earth was unlikely. Maybe the Lord counted on him falling asleep and lures him out by giving him another vision like he had the night Sirius died? Well, he wouldn't let him this time.
Sighing, Harry laid himself down on the bed again instead of his sitting position and felt himself relax immediately.
Tomorrow was a new day.
However, just as Harry was about to close his eyes again someone ripped the curtains open. Before he had the time to react a silver hand reached out and gripped his right wrist tightly, and Harry stared up into the eyes of the one who had betrayed his parents, the one responsible for bringing Voldemort back to life.
"NO!" shouted Harry and began to trash, trying with all his might to hit the wizard that held him tightly. The silver hand was hard and strong and woul0 not let go of him, however. It did not even budge from Harry's attempts to free himself.
"NO!" he shouted again, "RON!"
"Go back to sleep, Harry..." mumbled Ron sleepily, turning over.
Pettigrew was reaching for something in his pocket and Harry panicked. He wouldn't let this happen! He couldn't!
In one last, futile attempt Harry fired off a stunner, but his wand was in the same hand as the one Pettigrew held him in and the spell hit the roof. It did, however, wake the other boys up completely.
He did not have time to see their stunned expressions though, as he felt a jerk behind his navel that told him a portkey had been activated.
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