Hi! This chapter is longer than usual, I hope you'll like it! Tell me what you think!
Don't forget that _Amber_Eyes_ has been a great help to me, and... Rowling owns it all!
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CH7: WITH WHAT YOU LEARN
Harry couldn't deny that the book was very interesting. The next three hours he just sat there, reading it through. He had never looked in a Dark Art book like this one before, and Harry was amazed how much different views it had from what Harry had grown up to learn. However, Harry had to agree with it at some points: You are better prepared when you knew things, when you knew how to attack an enemy, and how the enemy could attack you. Could it be a better way to get rid of an enemy than to use an unforgivable like the Imperius Curse? If you used that one, you could simply tell the enemy to go away, or to attack one of it's own. That would be so much easier, faster, and much more useful! The only hatch was that it was illegal. If you were discovered, then it would be enough to get a life-sentence in Azkaban.
But, as a little voice in his head said; he was Harry Potter. They couldn't lock him in. He was their only hope. He'd find a way out...
And he had used the Cruciatus Curse before, after all. And had he been caught? No.
Harry shrugged. He didn't like to be reminded of that, even though he deep down wished it had worked properly. Bellatrix deserved to feel pain; after all she had done against him, Sirius, and Neville's parents... She had killed Sirius… He should kill her.
Harry had looked through half of the chapters, but he hadn't yet started on 'How You Know You Have Succeeded'.
He sighed heavily and started to read:
You know you have succeeded in casting an Unforgivable when you feel the power of the Curse in your wand. You would get a tickling feeling in your arm, up to your shoulder, and, sometimes - when you cast The Fatal One - even through your whole body. The effects from this could be compared to Muggle drugs, which can also make you addict to the feeling of killing...
Harry's heart dropped to the pitch of his stomach, it was very similar to what he had felt in his room when he had… witnessed… Parvati's death. He slowly continued reading.
You will also see the characteristic green, blinding light, and a rattling sound, until the Curse reaches the victims body.
When you cast The Avada Kedavra, the most obvious reason you know it have worked is when the victim dies immediately. The Avada Kedavra would make the heart stop as soon as it reaches the target, and it is very usual to find the victim with his or hers eyes or/and mouth open, surprised.
When you cast the Cruciatus Curse, you would feel the victims trembling through your wand, like it is linked. You would feel the ache, but without feeling any pain yourself. The victim's pain would be your pleasure. The Cruciatus Curse has a red light, also very blinding. You would feel the power of your spell if you have succeeded, however, it is not as physically powerful as The Avada Kedavra Curse, because the Avada Kedavra need a lot more desire to hurt and kill to make the intended action to take place.
The Imperio is, as said, the most effortless one to cast, and the only thing you would feel that would let you know that you have succeeded, is some of the consciousness to the victim. You can feel if the victim is trying to fight the curse off or if the victim does not.
Harry stopped reading, he felt very tired and his eyes were stinging. So it was the Avada Kedavra Curse he had cast… It was like the air had been taken out of his lungs. How could he have been so stupid? How could he felled asleep with his wand, when he knew he'd probably get another vision from Voldemort? What if somebody had stood in the way, and he had hit him or her instead? What if it had been Hermione? Her parents? Or Lupin? Just the thought of it scared the hell out of him. Harry knew there was no way he could ever forgive himself if that happened. He couldn't live with that.
With a sigh he realized it was about time he learned Occlumency properly.
Harry closed the book soberly. Damn it!
Harry wondered what Dumbledore would say if he knew. Harry's stomach turn over with dread; Dumbledore couldn't know, nor anybody else. How disappointed they would be…
Harry got up from the chair, thinking that they probably would be disappointed anyway. He got up to his room without meeting anybody, and lay the book down on the table, close to his bed. He quickly threw a Disillusionment-charm on it so it couldn't be spotted so easy, unless you knew it was there. He stretched and went down to get something to eat, his thoughts swirling with what he had just learned.
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"Harry, is there something wrong?" asked Lupin after Harry had finished eating.
"No," said Harry quickly. Lupin raised an eyebrow, and Harry added: "Just thinking that I should probably learn Occlumency, for real this time." Lupin nodded and was about to say something, but Hermione interrupted him.
"Really? That's wonderful!" she beamed up at him. Harry frowned slightly at her comment, but couldn't help keeping his stomach away from doing a flip-flop.
"I don't have anybody to teach me, though. Snape won't do it, not since… I…" Harry's word died in his mouth.
"Not since what?" asked Hermione.
"Never mind," said Harry quickly, "the important thing is that I got to learn it in some way or another."
"I can help you!" said Hermione bluntly, and Harry blinked. "I've read a lot about it last year, I bet I can do it." Hermione smirked at this.
"Alright…" said Harry slowly, wondering if he should feel excited or scared. "But that would have to wait, you can't do it until you get to Hogwarts."
Hermione said nothing. Harry looked over at Lupin, but Lupin seemed to be lost in thoughts again. Harry sighed; he didn't know what to do... Decides, he still felt somewhat responsible for Parvati's death. He couldn't get that out of his mind.
What were Voldemort doing now? Was he planning the next attack?
Suddenly an idea popped into Harry's head. He knew he should try to find out what Voldemort was doing, it could spare life, after all. But it was dangerous, very dangerous... Could he do it? Harry challenged himself. Could he afford not to?
"Look…" He said slowly. "About what happened… "
Both Lupin and Hermione looked up at this.
"When that thing happened…" continued Harry, "I was trying to break into Voldemort's mind, like he has tried to do with me so many times, so I could find out what's going on."
Hermione gasped, and looked terrified.
"I only heard something Bella said about Aurors, but-"
"Bella?" interrupted Lupin, looking even more alarmed than before.
"Yeah, I mean no, Bellatrix!" Harry frantically tried to explain. Somehow he had gotten up from the chair.
"Since when has she been Bella?" asked Lupin again, frowning hard.
"Since - NEVER!" yelled Harry, the temper rising in him. "Do you want to hear what I have to say or not?"
Lupin nodded, letting Harry continue. "Yeah… like I was trying to say, that was the only thing I heard Bella-trix!- say, was that the Aurors were coming or something, at least that's what it looked like to me. And I was thinking, that… I might should try to do it again, to see what he's up to-"
"NO!" cried Hermione, gabbing his arm, like that was going to stop him. "You can't mess with Voldemort like that! No one knows what he could do!"
Harry only frowned.
"He has tried to kill me since I was one year old, 'Mione. I don't think it would do much more difference; expect that he would be angry..."
"But look what happened the last time-"
"It could save LIFE Hermione!" shouted Harry angrily. They weren't helping! "Look, I'm going to do it anyway, no matter if you don't want to help me or not."
"She has a point you know," said Lupin quietly, "but of course we'll help you," Lupin smiled. Not a wide, warm smile, but a smile all the same. Hermione looked at him, tears in her eyes, but after a while she nodded hesitantly.
"Okay…" Harry began. "I'm just going to sit here I think, and… don't interrupt unless… something happens…"
Harry sat down on the chair again, and tried to calm himself and relax. After he saw Lupin and Hermione nodding one last time, he closed his eyes, focusing on Voldemort, and Voldemort only. He tried to think of what he must be doing right now. Willing himself to know…
At first nothing happened, but then he felt his thoughts wander, reminding him almost, faintly, of apparating. It was a very weird feeling, and not exactly pleasurable. After a while Harry realized he could hear voices:
"I'll do it, Master…what? No… of course…" Harry's stomach jumped in surprise and he lost it. He gritted his teeth, he wanted to hear it clear, he had to, or there wouldn't be a point… Soon, the voices returned, only this time he could see something that reminded him of a hand. It was hard to tell though, it was so dark.
"Pettigrew, go back… doing… get inform-…and…" he heard, but it felt like he had spoken them himself.
"Always, master, always…"
Harry didn't have much control anymore, but his mind seemed to seek the contact. Another part of him, however, warned him and told him to retreat before it was too late. Bad idea, bad idea... but the voice became fainter and fainter and Harry couldn't hear it much anymore... It was like he was trying to climb over a high fence, a fence that in reality seemed impossible to get over. Harry gave up resisting, and let his mind reach the contact it sought.
It was like turning on a television: He saw Pettigrew, bowing in front of him, his silver hand out of his dark sleeve. They were standing in some kind of forest, with short grass and trees everywhere. Him, or Voldemort, was about to say something, but something stopped him... Harry felt red anger explode in his chest, and it took only a moment before-
His scar exploded in pain, and Harry cried out. Desperately, he tried to break the contact, it was unbearable! But he couldn't do it… It was like he was drowning; he had no control, he couldn't breathe…
What was worse though, was that Harry felt Voldemort trying to get into his head, pain exploding in even higher levels, it was like something was blew up inside him as well… Did that much pain really exist? What was happening? Harry couldn't move; his mind screamed in agony and in panic. Voldemort couldn't get to him, he had to get out! Suddenly, Harry couldn't even scream. He felt his body lose contact to the ground. He knew he was apparating, however, this time it wasn't because he wanted it to… His body was frozen, it was nothing he could do...
Suddenly he felt something hard hit his head, and everything went black.
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Black ocean… he was drowning… he needed to get air… drowning… air… pain…
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It was dark when he finally woke up. It took a while before he realised he was in his bed, with Hermione's head on his chest. His body jerked in shock, and Hermione groaned. Suddenly her eyes snapped open and looked widely at Harry. Harry noticed that her eyes were red and swollen, like she had been crying. Without saying anything Hermione threw her arms around Harry and squeezed him tightly. He wrapped his arms around her in return, grateful that he was with her than with Voldemort.
Without letting him go Hermione climbed up better in his bed and leaned over Harry, so she was in top of him, still hugging him tightly. Harry closed his eyes. She was so close…
They hugged each other like that for a very long time until they heard somebody knock on the door.
They slowly let go off each other, and Hermione sat down beside him, only a moment before Dumbledore came in.
Harry immediately felt the hair on his neck stand up, but Hermione took his hand and squeezed it gently. Harry gulped nervously. What did Dumbledore want?
"How are you, Harry?" asked Dumbledore gently, his eyes twinkling slightly.
"Fine, Headmaster," said Harry, but as he said it he noticed that his head was throbbing. "Just a little headache," he added.
"I see," said Dumbledore and conjured a chair and sat down. "What happened? Lupin told me the most of it, but I would like to know what happened after you started the connection, from your point of view."
"Um," said Harry, thinking hard. " I tried to- figure out what Voldemort was planning… And I heard voices… Wormtail's, I think…yes, it was him… They said something about getting information… And then…" Harry frowned. His thoughts were a mess. "And then… I saw- yes, I saw Wormtail, we were standing in an open forest or something, and… Voldemort, he-," Harry's voice died as his throat tightened. Hermione squeezed his hand a little tighter, and he shot her a nervous look.
"Go on," said Dumbledore softly, and leaned a bit forward in his chair.
"He- I don't really know what he did, but there was something- I could feel- I could feel him trying to enter my mind, like he did a couple of months ago -you know, and then I- dunno- apparated or something, and crashed… in something, and that's… that's all I can remember," Harry finished weakly and shrugged.
Dumbledore nodded, the twinkling gone from his eyes. Hermione leaned her head against Harry's shoulder, holding his hand so hard Harry felt his fingers go numb.
"Well," said Dumbledore finally, "trying to enter Voldemort's mind is a very dangerous thing to do. You can risk letting him have access to yours as well, and make you do things you do not want to do. If we had not made an apparating-shell around this house, you probably would not be here right now. I think Voldemort tried to make you get to wherever he was, so he could kill you without being interrupted. Tell me, Harry, how many have you told what I told you not so long ago?"
Harry thought for a moment. "Only Hermione."
Dumbledore smiled. "Good, you need somebody other than me to talk about it to." He paused for a moment. "I should probably tell you that we can have a lesson tomorrow around noon, if that is alright with you?"
Harry nodded. Dumbledore gave him a smile, the twinkling back in his eyes. Hermione looked curiously at him.
"So you can practise magic?"
"Yes," Dumbledore answered for Harry. "And so do you. That's the other reason I came over today."
Hermione beamed.
"One more thing," said Dumbledore, looking at Harry again, "do not try to do that again unless I am with you. We can not risk losing you, Harry. It is important."
Harry nodded again.
"Goodbye, Harry, Hermione, enjoy the rest of the evening."
Harry glared. How was he supposed to do that?
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The next morning came fast, and Harry felt a lot better. He hadn't dreamed anything last night and felt oddly refreshed, and ready for practise.
He met Dumbledore in a room that was almost empty. Only a couple of shelves and chairs were to be seen. Dumbledore smiled, his eyes twinkling as usual.
"Are you ready, Harry?"
"Yes," said Harry, but couldn't help feeling nervous.
"First of all, what you must remember with magic, is that you can do many things simply by imagine it. However, not all wizards have the imaginations enough to do that, and it takes a lot of practise. I will try to teach you how to do it, however, today I would teach you a blinding curse. The curse makes the opponent blind for some amount of time. The stronger curse you cast the longer the opponent would be blind. Some might be blind for only a minute, and some can even last for a day. It depends on how powerful the spell is."
Harry nodded.
"Now, to cast the curse you will have to make a cross with your wand and say: 'Axcesterate'. You have to point your wand at the person's eyes when you do and say the curse. Do you understand? "
"Yes," said Harry, and gripped his wand tightly.
"Try it on the chair over there first," said Dumbledore, and suddenly the chair had something that looked like a pair of eyes on the top.
Harry nodded and pointed at the chair. He started to make some cross with his wand, and focused on saying Axcesterate.
The chair suddenly turned over and Harry was interrupted his thoughts.
"Very good Harry, but say the incantation a little louder next time. The curse would also be more effective if you say it out load."
Harry gaped at him. "But I didn't say anything!" Dumbledore raised an eyebrow.
"Yes, you did, Harry."
"No, I didn't!" Harry almost yelled. Dumbledore's eyes twinkled.
"Yes, it's possible to do spells without saying the incantation. But that's not something you will learn before next year. You actually did something similar to what I told you only a moment ago. You Imagined yourself doing it, and you did. Curious, very curious indeed."
Harry stared at him.
"Now, try it on me next, Harry," said Dumbledore, his eyes twinkling even more.
"Er… On you, sir?" asked Harry, alarmed.
"Yes," said Dumbledore firmly. Harry hesitated, but the expression of Dumbledore dared him to do it. He placed himself in front of Dumbledore, really not wanting to do it, but if he had to, he had to do it well. He formed a cross with his wand, and yelled "Axcesterate!"
Electric blue light shot from his wand and hit Dumbledore in his face, and Harry looked horror-struck up at him as Dumbledore took a step backwards, suddenly looking vulnerable.
Harry leapt over to him.
"Headmaster! Are you all right?"
"Oh, yes," said Dumbledore, beaming, looking a little at Harry's left side. "Very good indeed. It was a very powerful curse you cast. I'm sure this would at least last a couple of hours. Finite blindfold." he said, and looked over to where Harry stood. "As I'm sure you will notice, is that this curse has long been discussed if it should count as a Dark Art or not, but it's still classified as just a curse. What I want you to prepare till tomorrow is a list about what you want to learn in our training lessons."
"Okay," said Harry, he knew what he really wanted to learn, but he also knew that Dumbledore would never approve to all of it.
Dumbledore nodded, and left.
Harry stood for a moment, and wondered what he could do. The training hadn't took so much time as he expected. He decided to go upstairs and learn more about the Unforgivables, he had become very fascinated by the book.
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Later that afternoon the Weasley came over. Harry had read the book the entire time and was almost done, but right now he was on chapter 7: How To Cast An Unforgiveable.
The chapters were very long, and it took amazingly long time to read them. Decides, Harry used to stop now and then and repeat to himself what he had just read. He had a strong feeling it would get important to know. Maybe sooner than he knew...
He sighed and went down, where the portrait of Mrs Black had started screaming again. He had to do something with her soon.
When he got down, Mrs Weasley, who asked him over and over if he was okay, embraced him tightly. ("I am okay, really-!") Harry forced a grin to the rest of the Weasleys', so they would stop asking him questions.
"Hi, Mate," said Ron, and Ginny, who stood right behind Ron, grinning up at him. Harry suddenly felt very self-conscious. Everybody was looking at him!
"Hello, Ron," said Harry, somewhat dully. He couldn't get the thought of Ron asking Hermione out and away from his head. Ron shifted uncomfortably, noticing Harry staring at him. Where did Hermione go, anyway? Harry wondered; he hadn't seen her the whole day. Ron seemed to think along the same lines.
"Where's Hermione? There something I gotta ask her about," he mumbled, looking down at the floor.
"I don't know," said Harry sourly, a weird knot twitching in his stomach. "What do you want to ask her about?"
Ron blushed deeply at the question, totally unaware of the sarcasm in Harry's voice. Of course Harry knew what Ron wanted to ask Hermione about!
"Er- only some- some- stuff about the OWLs…" Ron stuttered.
"That's nice, Ron," said Harry, and narrowed his eyes at Ginny who suddenly had started to giggle frantically, clutching her stomach. Ron frowned, his face slowly returning to his normal colour.
"Do you have something you want to say, Ginny dear?" He asked. Ginny hiccupped.
"No, I think you pretty much said it!" She chocked out, laughing even harder.
Harry shook his head. Girls!
"Do you want to see if she's upstairs?" Harry asked Ron, who nodded.
They went upstairs, and they found Hermione sitting in the library with a book in her lap. When she looked up at Ron her eyes widened, and Harry took that as a hint and went out in the hall. He stopped for a moment; he really wanted to hear what they were talking about, but he decided not to. It was none of his business.
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Harry used the rest of the afternoon in the company of the rest of the Weasleys, he knew it would be rude to be alone in his room when they had just arrived. He was in a terrible mood, however, and it certainly didn't help that Fred and George constantly tried to feed him with some of their new 'tricks,' ("Honestly, Harry, they aren't dangerous! Why would you think that?") or the fact that Ron and Hermione went down together, looking shyly at each other.
Ron was so caught up in looking at Hermione that he managed to break a glass down from the table, and Sirius' mother started screaming again.
"I'll take care of her," said Harry, wanting an excuse to leave.
"Oh, thank you dear," said Molly and gave him a wink. Neither Ron nor Hermione seemed to notice he left.
Harry shuttered the door loudly behind him as he entered the hallway to where the portrait of Sirius' mother was. Not that it mattered; it would take a lot of noise overcome the sound of Mrs Black screams.
"Filth! Scum! By-products of dirt and vileness! Half-breeds! Freaks! Leave my house! How dare you-!"
"SHUT UP!" yelled Harry, pointing his wand at her. Sirius' mum eyes narrowed.
"You!" She said, looking Harry over, "you are some of the scum Sirius brought in! How DARE he disrespect-"
"SIRIUS IS DEAD!" Harry shouted at her, but suddenly it was like the floor he was standing on disappeared under his feet. He had never said those words after the night in the Ministry. He had known, of course, that Sirius was gone, but saying it like this somehow made it seem much more real. More final.
"He is dead?" The old witch in the portrait said, her eyes round. She paused. "Well," she said after a while, "deserves him right. How dare he-"
That was the drop for Harry, his temper flowing hotly through his veins, he was absolutely furious now…!
"ONE more word like that about Sirius, and I swear I will-!"
"What? Destroy me? Sure you are too young to know any curse that can make me go away!"
"Actually, I do!" said Harry angrily. The old woman just laughed.
"Sirius was nothing but a blood-traitor, he had no pride what-so-ever, shame of my flesh! Sirius was merely a scum, an abomination, a-"
Harry didn't know what made him do it. Maybe it simply was his temper, boiling over the surface, or maybe it was just the need to make the awful woman pay, the woman that had made Sirius' life a hell already before he went to Azkaban. He just did what felt most natural in that very moment…
"Avada Kedavra!" He shouted, and felt all the rage dart from his wand to the painting. The bright, green light hit the picture straight in the middle with a rattling sound, leaving nothing but a large, black hole where Sirius' mother had been, only a moment before.
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I love cliffhangers, don't I?
As usual, thanks for all the reviews, and thank you for reading my story!
I hope you don't find Harry way too much OOC, but this needed to happen. Try to look at the whole picture, would you?
(By the way, did I mention that I LOVE reviews? Yes, that was a hint… A big one!)
Cheers!