Disclaimer: Everything concerning Harry Potter belongs to J. K. Rowling. I own nothing, nor is this done for any purpose except my own enjoyment and the enjoyment of anyone reading this. There is no attempt to make any profit.
The Most Ancient Magic
Chapter Sixteen: Together
Harry opened his eyes. He took his potion and pulled on his dressing gown. He made up the sofa and went to find out what was going on. The house was quiet as he made his way to the kitchen, there was no one around. It was obviously mid-morning. He went back to the library and dressed. His thoughts were still whirling as he made his way to the sitting room, he sat down and stared into the fire.
"I thought I heard you stirring, Harry, how are you this morning?" Janet noticed the expression on Harry's face. "Harry, what's wrong?"
There was no emotion in Harry's voice as he asked, "How does it feel to be in love?"
Janet was surprised by the question but she gathered her thoughts and answered, "Harry, it's hard to say, not everyone feels the same thing to the same degree. Most people pass through a stage called infatuation. You feel excited and happy, you want to be with the person you are attracted to. There doesn't seem to be enough time to say everything you want to say. You allow that person to be close, you discover hugging, kissing, and holding hands.
"As a couple grows together the feelings become less intense, but deeper and stronger. It is a time to find out about the other person. What do they like and dislike, what are their goals, what are their beliefs and are they compatible with yours. Each must come to a decision, is he or she willing to spend his or her life sacrificing what he or she wants for their partner. If not, they break up. If they are willing, then they began to consider marriage." Janet thought for a moment.
"How did you feel about Cho Chang?" she asked. "Did you feel anything like I described?"
"I-I thought she was pretty. We both played Quidditch, Sometimes when I saw her my stomach felt like it was doing somersaults. I wanted her to-to…I don't know."
"You wanted her to admire you?" she asked gently.
"I-I guess so. It was during the tournament, I imagined her smiling at me because I won. I wanted her to think I was cool. Later she kissed me. Then we had an argument about her friend Marietta and after that we broke up," Harry's voice was vaguely bitter.
"Harry, do you have feelings for Hermione?"
Harry shook his head, "Not like I did for Cho Chang."
Janet went to call in to her office, if Harry was going to break Hermione's heart she wanted to be here to help pick up the pieces. When she came back into the sitting room Harry was still staring into the fire.
"How did you and Dr. Granger get together?" the tone of his voice indicated his thoughts were far away.
"We met in school, Harry. I guess it began with a small group of us that studied together. The feelings I described weren't that intense with me, at least not then. Hugh was always coming up with something funny, we all laughed when he was around.
"After a few months, I realized that I missed him when he wasn't there. I started coming to class early hoping to get to talk to him. Then one day he asked me to have dinner with him. The only rule was we couldn't talk about teeth, dentistry, or school. We couldn't get together like that often, once a month or so, but I began to really look forward to those times.
"At last we graduated, it was then our relationship hit a snag. Hugh wanted to join the Navy, I wanted to start my practice here, and there was no telling where he would end up. So we agreed to go where our hearts led us. I told him I wouldn't wait for him. If, when he returned, I was still free, we could take up where we left off. He wrote occasionally, and we had a couple of dates when he was on leave. I had a couple of relationships in the meantime, nothing serious. Then the war started. It was then I realized I might lose him forever. I missed him, Harry. The fighting didn't last long and I went to find him when the fleet sailed home.
"When I found him…the light had gone out of his eyes. He had no physical wounds but he was wounded in his soul. Hugh has always been very caring and he has a great deal of empathy. Tending the wounded hurt him terribly. When I saw the pain in his eyes I just chose to put his desires before mine. I've never regretted that decision. You must know too, it's not just me giving to him, he gives to me too. I'm the most important person in the world to him. But it was my choice that brought us together.
"It's not been easy, Harry. We weren't financially prepared to be married, I gave up what I had started to be with him and the military doesn't pay much. Those early years were hard, but we made it together. That's our story."
Harry gave her a small smile, "Thanks, Dr. Granger." His smile faded and he began staring into the fire again.
A short time later Hermione and Hugh arrived, coming through the door on a wave of cold air, carrying a large box between them. They placed the box inside the door, and took off their heavy coats, scarves, and mittens.
"Hi, Harry," Hermione chirped as they entered the sitting room, "We went to get your Christmas present." As she looked at him her face fell, "What's wrong, Harry?"
Harry looked at her with a stricken expression on his face. He opened and shut his mouth a couple of times. "I'm sorry, Hermione, I-I remembered."
"Remembered what, Harry?" she asked as she crossed over and sat down next to him. Hugh looked at his wife, Janet's expression was definitely unhappy. He went over to his wife with a questioning look on his face, Janet shook her head, as she watched Harry and her daughter.
Harry took a deep breath, "I'm so sorry, you've done so much, you saved me from the Devil's Snare, taught me the Summoning Charm that saved me from Voldemort. You saved me again last November. I took you for granted-never said thank you-,"
Hermione's voice was bewildered as she interrupted, "Harry, you saved me too. You jumped on that troll, you saved us from the Dementors, led us out of the Department of Mysteries."
Harry's voice trembled as he plunged on, "You just keep on giving, you've always been with me, you gave up your study time to help with the tournament. Helped me practice instead of studying. I've been so blind. You've tried so hard to keep me safe even when you knew I'd be mad, to keep me out of trouble, to keep me from being tortured." Harry looked at her with an expression of awe mixed with pain.
Hermione tried to smile, "I didn't succeed at keeping you out of trouble very well, did I?" She felt as though her world was caving in.
Harry looked down at the floor as he whispered, "You're…in love…with me aren't you, Hermione?"
Hermione went rigid with shock as she stared at Harry. A long minute passed. Her lip quivered as she whispered, "Yes, Harry." Her defenses were gone and she was at his mercy.
"I remember, it was the night I was hurt. You kissed me," he touched his lips, "because Dumbledore said you could. You told me, 'I love you, Harry'," he was breathing rapidly, "Hermione, I-I'm so sorry…I don't…know…I can't…."
Hermione stared down at her shoes. She interrupted, whispering plaintively, "Don't, Harry, please, … why are you doing this… Christmas is supposed to be a happy time." A tear streaked down her cheek, she swiped angrily at it. Closing her eyes, Hermione steeled herself and asked, "Are you-trying to tell me, Harry James Potter, that-that you don't l-love me?"
Harry sat stony faced, choked by his emotions, "It's not that," he swallowed, he felt as if his heart would burst. "I've watched Cedric and Cho, you and Krum, you and Ron, at least sometimes, Ginny with Michael and Dean. You made each other happy. All I did was make Cho cry or get angry. I-I want to love you…" His mind was racing but there was no way out. He could do nothing but admit, "I don't-I don't know how, Hermione. I don't know what to do, with Cho everything I did was wrong, I couldn't bear it if I hurt you with this … if you weren't my friend anymore … I feel so stupid." He took a deep breath, "But I want to, Hermione Jane Granger, I want to be in love with you." His expression was anguished as he looked at her.
Hermione blinked several times as she tried to process what Harry had told her.
She turned toward him. "Really, Harry, really you want to be in love with me?" It seemed she could breathe again as he nodded to her. Hermione drew Harry into a gentle hug, wrapping her arms around him, she patted him on his back. Harry rested his forehead against her neck, he felt stiff against her. "Harry, I don't know everything about being in love either, but do you think we could try to figure it out…together?"
Harry nodded, "I-I'd like to try…together."
For a couple of minutes Hermione ran her fingers through his untidy hair, trying to soothe him. Finally he began to relax against her, "Harry, you and Cho were still grieving for Cedric, it just wasn't the right time for you two to have a relationship," she explained as she studied his face.
Harry drew back and looked at her, trying to smile. It was as though he was seeing her face for the first time. He could see himself in her warm, brown eyes, he noticed a few freckles scattered across her nose and her eyelashes still sparkled with tears. He stared at her lips as he whispered, "Hermione, I'm awake now-could I-,"
"Yes, please," she tilted her head slightly and leaned forward as her eyes closed. Harry found the touch of her lips on his to be soft, warm, and somehow electric. He felt power of her tender kiss pass through his lips, his stomach, and his knees. His fingers lost themselves in her soft, curly hair.
After their kiss, Hermione sighed, nestled against him. He rested his head on her shoulder and she began running her fingers through his hair again. Harry was exhausted because of his emotions and his sleepless night. He placed his arm around this new source of comfort and fell asleep.
Hugh looked at Janet, "Well, I guess that answers that question," he smiled.
"After the way he talked this morning, I just knew he was going to break her heart. Come into the kitchen and I'll tell you about it."
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A while later the Drs. Granger came back into the sitting room finding Hermione sitting with a Mona Lisa-like smile on her face. "One, why not let Harry sleep. Please come talk to us, we'll be in the library."
Frowning slightly she nodded. She slipped gently away from Harry's side, returning with a blanket she covered him and then joined her parents in the library.
"What did he say, One," asked Janet. "He seemed very preoccupied when he was talking to me."
Hermione recounted the story of the night she had confessed her love to Harry. "I thought he was asleep-"
Hugh interrupted, "One, hearing is the last sense you lose as you become unconscious, as many doctors find out their embarrassment. Patients often hear what they aren't meant to hear. I guess that's your mistake."
Hermione continued, "He is afraid, because he said he doesn't know how to be in love, he is afraid he is going to hurt me. He said he feels stupid," she shook her head in disbelief. "I told him we would figure it out together. I always thought finding out you were in love would be a happy thing not something scary."
"He must care for you very much, One, if he was mainly afraid of hurting you. I guess he was expecting a set of rules or formulas about relationships when he asked me about love this morning," mused Janet.
"So what do we do," asked Hermione.
"Well, for right now I'd say just take it slow," Hugh advised. "Just be yourself and try to be patient. I remember when I was sixteen nothing seemed to happen fast enough."
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A few hours later Hermione shook Harry awake, "Harry, my love, wake up…"
Harry looked up at her smiling face. "Then it wasn't a-a dream?" he asked hopefully.
"No, Harry," she smiled, "at least I hope it isn't, that would mean I'm going to wake up. Do you have some nice clothes? Mum and Dad are going to take us out for dinner."
"Not with me, I just packed some regular stuff for the holiday." Harry concentrated a moment, then he called softly, "Dobby!"
About two minutes later, with a soft crack, Dobby appeared. Hermione jumped in surprise. He had a big smile on his face. "Yes, Harry Potter?"
"Dobby, I'm in trouble. I didn't pack my suit or my Inverness, would you please get them for me?" Harry asked earnestly.
"Yes, Harry Potter," Dobby said as he vanished.
Hermione looked like she wanted to say something but she kept her silence. In a couple of minutes he was back with a dark blue suit and slate gray Inverness. He also brought a cane for Harry to use in place of his staff. As he presented the clothes to him, the little elf kept looking back and forth between Harry and Hermione, as though sensing something between them. His smile grew very wide and he bowed so low his pencil-thin nose touched the floor. "Harry Potter seems happier, Dobby is glad too."
Harry hugged the elf, "Thanks, Dobby, you're a life saver, you and Winky have a Happy Christmas." Dobby blushed with pleasure. He backed away, still looking at Hermione with an enormous grin he vanished with a snap of his long fingers.
"When did you get a suit, Harry?"
"Last summer, Remus thought it was a good idea to have one, in case I need to take care of any business in the Muggle world. I guess he was afraid of legal entanglements with my uncle."
"Well, Harry, you better get dressed."
Later that evening they were sitting before the fireplace. Harry was feeling very full and contented. He had never experienced food like that except at a Hogwarts feast. He had removed his coat and red and gold tie. Hermione was wearing a simple black evening dress, with a string of pearls. She had been wearing a pair of elegant boots while they had been at dinner, but now she was warming her feet before the fire, giving a small sigh of relief as she flexed her toes in her stockings.
Harry turned to face Hermione, resting his elbow on the back of the sofa, "Hermione, do you mind if I ask you a question?"
"No, Harry, what do you want to know?"
"Why don't you have a television set? My cousin can't seem to get by without three."
Hermione looked uncomfortable, she turned to face Harry, drawing her legs up underneath her, "Erm, well, the one we had blew up when I was five. It seems that some program scared me and it just exploded, there was glass everywhere, fortunately no one got badly cut. My parents were a little used to things breaking when I was upset, mostly light bulbs or glasses. They didn't have enough money to replace it at the time. By the time they did, we had gotten used to not having one around so we used the money for something else. Why it exploded was something of a mystery for a while. Then when I turned ten, someone from the Ministry of Magic came with my Hogwarts letter, they explained that I was a witch and there was a place I could go to get my powers under control. I guess someone at the ministry thought I had better be allowed to start Hogwarts a little early, so I was ten when I met you and Ron on the train, of course, my birthday was on the nineteenth of September, right after the term started. Still, I still had nearly a year to prepare, that's why I had all my lessons learned by heart by the time the term started," Hermione smiled. "I guess I was able to do that because I blew up our television set. At least, we blamed my powers being out of control for its destruction."
Harry laughed, "Yeah, I blew up a few things too, not including Aunt Marge. My aunt and uncle also blamed me for anything that broke. In my case the thing that was hardest to try to explain was how I ended up on the roof of the school kitchen when all I tried to do was jump behind some trash bins, in the end, I just couldn't."
"Any other questions you want to ask, Harry?"
Harry blushed, "Would you mind if I kissed you good night?"
Hermione smiled at him, "You mean two kisses in one day? Aren't you being a little greedy?" she chided playfully.
"Yes," Harry agreed. "You don't have to if you don't want to," he added quickly, trying not to sound disappointed.
Seeing the expression on his face, Hermione responded quickly, "Wait, Harry, I didn't mean it like that, kissing you is very special to me, I just don't want kissing to become something that we take for granted. Of course I'll kiss you, especially since you asked, it's just…I'm not ready to make a habit of it yet."
"I understand," he agreed. Harry tentatively reached for her hair, he toyed with it for a couple of minutes, enjoying its softness on his fingertips, Hermione allowed him to stroke her cheek with the palm of his hand. She shivered as he traced the outside of her ear with his thumb, and tilted her head against his hand. He drew her close and kissed her gently.
Hermione took his hand and pressed it to her cheek, "I wish I had beautiful hair for you, Harry. Like Parvati, Cho, or even Luna," she whispered.
"Don't say that, Hermione, I might not fall in love with you because of your hair, but I'm coming to love this hair because it's yours," Harry whispered in her ear. He began to run his fingers through it again.
Hermione gazed into his green eyes, "I believe you, Harry. Coming from you, my love, that means more to me than you'll ever know." She threw her arms around him, hugging him tightly. She stood quickly, picking up her boots, "Good night, Harry," she said, and padded upstairs.
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The next morning Harry completed his morning routine and entered the kitchen to find Hugh and Janet sitting at the table. "I wanted to thank you for dinner last night. I've never eaten in anyplace that nice before."
"You're welcome, Harry. It just seemed like a good time to celebrate. It's not everyday you discover love. Do you have any plans for the day?"
Harry looked out the window. The sky was gray. "No, sir, I guess I'll try to get some of my homework done today. It seems like a good day to stay inside."
"Where's Hermione this morning, did you keep her up late?" asked Janet with a small smile.
"No ma'am, she went up about eleven thirty. I stayed up until one o'clock. I started reading the book you lent me. I didn't mean to stay up so late, but it was kind of hard to put down. I just wish trolls really did turn to stone. Of course the ones I've seen don't talk that well either."
"Would you mind telling us about trolls, Harry?"
Harry sat down and launched into the story about how he, Ron and Hermione became friends, including a much-appreciated description of how trolls actually looked and smelled. Hugh and Janet had heard some of the story from Dumbledore, but it felt good to hear it from one of the participants. By the time Harry was half way through the story Hermione had come down to breakfast. She listened with an expression of vague unease on her face.
As soon as Harry finished she asked, "Could we do some more Tai Chi now, Dad?"
"Of course, One, whenever you and Harry are ready."
They practiced for a couple of hours, concentrating on the eighteen movements. After which Harry collapsed onto the sofa, smiling happily. Hermione brought him a towel so he could wipe his face.
The rest of the morning passed quietly. Harry and Hermione worked on their homework and practiced their Occlumency before lunch.
After lunch Hermione found Harry in the sitting room reading. She sat down next to him intending to ask him if he would like to spend some time knitting. He appeared to be totally absorbed in The Hobbit.
"Are you having a good time here, Harry?" she asked as she began massaging his neck.
"Who wouldn't be having a good time," he purred, "You can stop that in about a year. I really envy Crookshanks." Harry reached back and patted her hand as he smiled at her. "I can't think of any place I'd rather be," he sighed. "I really owe Professor Dumbledore for arranging this for me."
Hermione blushed with pleasure, leaned over and kissed Harry on the cheek.
Something powerful passed through him. His breath hissed as he inhaled sharply. The room slid out of focus as a wave of nausea made his stomach clench. Harry stood up suddenly. He placed his hands on his temples because he was very dizzy. He sank to his knees as his strength deserted him. He heard Hermione calling to him, as if from a great distance, "Harry, Harry, what's wrong?" He fell face down onto the sitting room floor. He could barely feel Hermione's hands trying to turn him over. With a groan he managed to roll onto his back. The ceiling of the sitting room seemed very far above him. Then he sank into darkness.