A/N: I had to put up this chapter quickly because the last chapter upset so many people. I want you all to remember that I am an H/Hr shipper through and through and that in this story they are meant to be together. Their relationship will not be packaged in pretty little paper and just handed over to them, they will have obstacles in the way. I have written H/R in the past but it was usually kept to a minimum (I have to be able to stomach what I write). As you will find out in this chapter, Hermione did not have sex with Ron, she will not have sex with Ron in this story. I'm sorry if I upset some readers but there were some of you who did trust in me. This is Portkey and Harry and Hermione will end up together in the end.
The Green-Eyed Monster
Are you gone and onto someone new?
I needed somewhere to hang my head
Without your noose
You gave me something that I didn't have
But had no use
I was too weak to give in
Too strong to lose
My heart is under arrest again
But I break loose
My head is giving me life or death
But I can't choose
I swear I'll never give in
I refuse
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Has someone taken your faith?
Its real, the pain you feel
You trust, you must
Confess
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
(The Best of You-The Foo Fighters)
~*~
Hermione was restless, sleep lost to her in the anxiety over Harry. She and Ron had once again tried to get a hold of him through the mirror but had had no such luck. She had sent numerous owls but he hadn't responded. Professors McGongall and Tonks had reassured her that Harry was doing fine but she needed to hear for herself, needed to see that he was physically okay. Why was he ignoring them?
She had been so upset at that stupid article two days ago, running to her common room to cry so no one else would see her. But Ron had followed her, had kissed her, had lowered her to the floor.
"Ron, stop," she said, pushing her friend off of her. Kissing him just felt…wrong. He obeyed, looking at her with a crestfallen look on his face.
"I guess I'm a poor substitute for Harry," he said quietly.
"What did you say?" she asked. Ron looked at her for what seemed to be the longest time.
"I saw you. You and Harry at Grimmauld Place," he said. At her look of confusion, he elaborated. "I knew you and Harry were…sleeping together."
Hermione turned white. "Oh, Ron."
"Why did you do it? I mean, why do you do this to yourself?
"What are you talking about?"
"I asked Harry. I confronted him about it, about Ginny, about you. And do you know what? He still has feelings for Ginny!"
"I know that," she answered quietly.
"You knew that?! You knew that and you still went ahead and…did it?"
"I guess, I knew that when I was with him…like that…that if only for that time, he had no worries, he had nothing to worry about, some peace of mind."
"And you?" he asked.
Tears began to well in her eyes, slowly dripping down her cheeks. "I was selfish," she said quietly. "Some part of me wanted to be with him that way. A way no one else had had him."
"Oh, Hermione," Ron enveloped her in a hug.
"I'm sorry you had to find out the way you did," she sniffled. "I thought you would be upset at us."
"I was upset," he said. "I was mad at Harry. I care for you so much that I was mad that he would do this to you."
"Harry and I are both to blame."
"I know that now."
"Ron?" she asked quietly. "You still don't have feelings for me, do you?"
Ron looked at her and sighed. "After I woke up, I was so happy to see you both. So happy that you were happy to be with me that I thought maybe we could try again. Even after you were with Harry, I thought we could try again here at Hogwarts but when I kissed you…" he trailed off. How could he say this without hurting her feelings. "You shouldn't have to force a reaction."
"Oh God," Hermione walked to the sofa to sit down.
"Hermione, I'm so sorry," Ron went quickly to her side. "I wanted so desperately to be attracted to you in that way. Don't get me wrong, you're very easy to love and believe me, you don't even know the reaction you get from the guys from what my roommates say. I fight down the urge to hex them, some of the things they say."
"But you don't feel that way," she said quietly.
"Believe me, I'm beginning to think there is something seriously wrong with me for not wanting you in that way."
"There's nothing wrong with you. We're just meant to be friends, I guess."
"That's not a bad thing, is it?" he grinned.
Hermione grinned back. "No, it's not."
He kept her company the next couple of hours, playing a game of wizard's chess (which she lost horribly), then they moved to her room when Ernie came in to have a study session. He took a nap on her bed while she sat at her desk and wrote another letter to send to Harry.
She got out of bed, sleep was useless to her at this point. It was very early in the morning, so she dressed and put on a warm cloak before gathering her books and heading out to the Gryffindor common room to study.
She was making her way through the third floor landing when a soft scraping sound caught her attention. There was a swish of black cloak ahead of her and she quickly ducked into an alcove. She peered around the corner and saw a cloaked figure walking away from her. She darted out to silently follow the person. Down stairs, through long corridors she followed the figure until it stopped in front of a portrait.
"Pure blood."
Hermione instantly recognized Draco Malfoy's voice as the portrait swung open and he stepped through. What was he up to now? She wanted to go to the Headmistress and tell her…tell her what. That she saw Draco Malfoy walking through the halls early in the morning like she was. There was no crime in that and she couldn't nail Draco with that. She needed more concrete evidence that he was up to something.
*
There was an excited buzz at the Gryffindor table when Hermione went to the Great Hall for breakfast.
"Quidditch tryouts today," Ginny explained when Hermione sat next to her.
Ron was across from them. "Are you trying out for Seeker, Gin?"
"No, I'm trying out for Chaser," she shook her head.
"What?!" he yelped and the two girls shushed him. "Have you seen the prospects for Seeker?" he said in a whisper.
Ginny stared at him. "Ron, you aren't going to find another Harry. A Seeker like him comes along once in a lifetime. You're just going to have to do the best with what you have."
"We're doomed," he said morosely. Hermione frowned sympathetically at him.
The only chance Hermione would have to get Ron alone this morning was just before tryouts. So as the Gryffindors headed back to their common room, Hermione pulled him aside.
"Ron," she whispered, tugging on his arm. "I need to talk to you."
"Now?" he whispered back. "I've got tryouts this morning."
"It's important," she said pointedly.
"Hey guys," he said to Seamus, Dean and Neville. "I'll catch up with you later."
"Don't be late," Dean replied.
"Yeah, Hermione, don't keep him too long," Seamus teased.
The guys entered the common room and made their way up to their room to get ready for try-outs, except Neville who would not be participating.
"Those two are sure spending a lot of time together," Dean said, waggling his eyebrows suggestively.
"Lucky git," Seamus added.
"Shh!" Neville spoke up. "Did you guys hear that?"
Silence descended upon the room and after a moment there was a very distinct.
"Ron?"
"What the hell is that?" Dean said as Neville scrambled over to Ron's bed.
"Ron?" came the muffled voice.
Neville opened the drawer of the nightstand next to the bed and jumped when he saw a mirror in there with Harry Potter staring back at him.
"Harry?!" he yelped.
Seamus and Dean scrambled to his side. Harry looked equally surprised to see Neville.
"Uh, hi?" he said.
"Harry! Where have you been?" Dean said.
"Have you been trapped in the mirror all this time?" Neville asked.
"Where are you?" Seamus asked.
Harry shook his head. "I'm fine," he said dismissively. "Listen, is Ron there?"
Neville frowned. "No, he's not. He's with Hermione."
"Yeah he is, the git!" Seamus teased and he and Dean proceeded to make lewd gestures and comments.
"Sorry, Harry," Neville said. "Do you want me to go and get him?"
"Oh Ron!" Dean said in a mock high voice. "Put your quaffle in my goal!"
"Oh Ron! Oh Ron!" Seamus wailed in a shrilly voice. "I love your broomstick."
"No," Harry said. "I'll just, uh…I'll just…try and get him later."
"Okay," Neville replied.
"Oh and Neville?" Harry said. "Don't tell anyone about this mirror, okay? And uh, tell the others the same?"
"I will. Take care Harry," he said. "Hogwarts isn't the same without you."
"Thanks, Nev. Goodbye." Then Harry disappeared.
*
Hermione sat in the stands with Neville and some other Gryffindors who weren't trying out. She had to admit that the prospects for Seeker were not that great and from the comments around her, it was admitted that this years Quidditch season will be abysmally horrible.
Hermione found that she could laugh a little more and ease up when Neville told her that he spoke to Harry this morning. That meant that he was safe and okay and maybe they would get a chance to talk to him later today. That was her little ray of sunshine today.
"Well, well," Neville said softly, nudging Hermione. She looked at him and he nodded to the left. Luna Lovegood walked up in the stands followed, very closely by Michael Corner.
"Hello Hermione, Neville," she said cheerfully.
"Hello Luna," they both replied back as she and Michael took seats next to them.
Hermione's attention turned back to the field where Ginny was next in try-outs.
"She'll make the team," Neville said. "She has to, she's the best flyer out there."
"She will," Hermione assured him. "It's just a matter if Ron'll put as Seeker or Chaser."
"She'd do well with either one," Neville beamed and Hermione looked at him. Did he have a thing for Ginny?
After Ginny was done, Hermione and Neville got into a discussion in Herbology when movement in her peripheral caught her eye. She looked to her side and was surprised to see Luna and Michael making out in the stands. Neville noticed their little snogging session and turned a shade of pink. Both of them moved over uncomfortably to give the lovers a little more distance.
"RON!" Ginny shrieked and Hermione looked up in time to see Ron crashing to the ground.
Both Hermione and Neville rushed onto the field. "Ron! Ron are you okay?" Hermione asked as her friend staggered to his feet.
"Yeah, I'm fine," he said irritably. "Tryouts are over. I'll make my decisions tonight." And with a turn, he stormed back toward the castle, Hermione chasing him.
"Ron, Ron wait up!"
He stomped up to the dormitory and slammed the door shut. Hermione opened the door and stepped inside.
"Ron, what's the matter with you?" she demanded. He was pacing angrily in the room.
"What's the big idea, snogging in the stands during tryouts," he muttered.
"Snogging in the…oh!" Comprehension suddenly dawned on her and she began to giggle.
"What's so funny?" Ron whirled on her.
"You're jealous!"
"I am most certainly not!!" he said as he took off his gloves, tossing them on his bed.
"Yes you are! You're jealous of Michael Corner!" she laughed. She was really trying not to but it was just too damn funny!
Ron took off his cloak and tossed it angrily across the room. "He's a git! I have no reason to be jealous of him. Ginny told me he was rotten and I was hoping that Luna would have better sense than to take up with him."
"Well, he is kinda cute," she said. She really didn't think so but she just wanted to egg Ron on.
Ron glared at her. "Get out," he demanded, "I've got to change."
"I'll just turn around, this conversation is not over."
"Ron?" Harry's voice rang out and the two of them scrambled over to the mirror.
~*~
Harry lined up with the others that morning in typical routine. It had been two weeks since he started his training here and he was glad for the progress he had made. He wasn't wanting to throw up at the end of their morning run. He was still subject to push-ups and he was beginning to think that he had picked up his father's penchant for disregarding authority.
At the end of an exhaustful day of training, he had to drag himself to an empty classroom to meet Aberforth for Occlumency and Legilimency. By the time he got into bed he was so exhausted he just flopped on his bed and fell asleep. He hadn't had time to talk to Hermione and Ron, although they were in his thoughts a lot.
"Today is a free day," the Captain announced. "Feel free to do with your time as you wish. Go into town, sleep with your girlfriends, wives or both but be back here by roll call tomorrow morning. Anyone absent will be subject to toilet cleaning, the muggle way, for an entire week. You are dismissed."
There were cheers from the crowd as everyone headed back to the dorms. In the quiet of his room, he took out the mirror.
"Ron?" he said into it. "Ron?"
"Harry?"
Harry was shocked to see Neville on the other end. Where the hell was Ron?
"He's with Hermione," he explained.
Oh. He could hear Dean and Seamus joking about the two of them in the background. He told Neville he would try and reach him later then put the mirror away. He lay down on the bed and stared at the ceiling.
"Are you okay?" Isis hissed.
"Yeah," he said unconvincingly. Why was he so bothered by this? I mean, it was bound to happen. The two of them, alone, at Hogwarts. He wasn't in their way. They had gone out previously and they probably got back together again. And that was a good thing.
Right?
An image of Ron being with Hermione in the intimate way he had been with her passed through his mind. "Argh!" he slammed his fists on the bed and sat up.
"I need to get out of here," he muttered and left the room.
He decided to work out his anger as he ran, taking the same route as his group did every morning. Maybe he was overreacting. Maybe nothing was going on between them. Of course, they would be spending a lot of time together. They were friends. He ran a little harder. He would just put it out of his mind and try and reach them later today.
The task was easier said than done and Harry cursed his vivid imagination. Sometime in the afternoon, he took out the mirror and tried again.
"Ron?" he called into it.
To his surprise and delight, Hermione appeared on the other side.
"Harry!" she beamed.
"Hermione!" her smile was contagious and Harry felt himself elated to be talking to her, seeing her face again.
But his bubble of happiness quickly popped when he saw Ron appear in the background, topless and putting on a clean t-shirt. "Harry!" he said and scrambled over to the mirror.
Hermione bounced slightly with his action and Harry quickly deduced that they were probably on his bed and something awful flared inside of him.
"Fine," he answered, probably a little curtly but the two of them didn't take notice.
"Harry, where have you been? I've been worried sick about you!" Hermione said.
"Oh, have you?" he said snarkily and Hermione frowned.
"Harry, there's a story in the Prophet that said you were training with the Aurors, is that true?" Ron asked.
"Yeah, it's true," he answered.
"Oh, Harry," Hermione, put a hand to her mouth.
"What about the you-know-whats?" Ron said in a low voice.
"I reckon they'll have to be on hold for the time being. This is my only free day."
"Harry, I've been doing some research in the library," Hermione said. Yeah, I bet you have, Harry thought. "And the only thing I could find was that to break each one requires a sacrifice. A specific one to each object."
"Dumbledore said it cost him something to break the ring," Harry said thoughtfully.
"There was Ginny for the diary," Ron said. "And me for the mirror. Both of us were nearly sacrificed for it." Hermione frowned at the painful memory and put a hand on Ron's arm. It was a gesture that incensed Harry to no end.
"Yeah, well I'm glad to see that you guys are putting so much work into this," he said bitterly.
"Harry?" Hermione's questioning voice and hurt look in her eyes stung him but he wanted to lash out at them.
"How's Ginny?" he asked her.
Ron's eyes narrowed at his friend. "She's fine," he said in a dangerous tone.
"Good," Harry said. "Tell her I said hello. I've got to go. Catch you guys later." And he put the mirror away.
"You were very rude to your friendsss," Isis hissed.
"Yeah, well I'm sure they'll get over it with their next snogging session," Harry replied bitterly and left the room.
"What'ss ssnogging?" Isis wondered aloud.
Harry went to the locker room to change into some workout clothes. He would take his frustrations out on the training room. But his mind was plagued with images of Ron and Hermione…together. Was he hearing her sighs and giggles when he touched her in certain spots? Was he feeling her soft skin, smelling her comforting scent? Tangling his hands in her hair?
"Argh!"
Harry punched his locker and the windows in the training room shattered at the same time. This shouldn't hurt, he told himself. It shouldn't hurt this bad. But it did, he had never felt a pain like this before and he didn't understand why. His scar gave a tiny twinge and he touched it. He sank to the floor. What was happening to him? Why did he have such hateful thoughts toward his friends?
"Girl trouble?"
Harry looked up to see Brian O'Malley walk into the room. He was in the same training group as the American. Harry was surprised, no one from his group had spoken to him since he arrived except to glare at him and say nasty things about him behind his back.
"Only that kind of drama can cause this much damage. Reparo," Brian said, fixing the broken windows. "Let me guess, your girl back home has taken up with someone else. Most likely your best friend?"
"Not exactly," Harry replied.
"Yeah well, there's nothing a little Firewhiskey can't fix. A bunch of us are going to Long-legged Lass tonight, we're leaving at eight if you want to join us," Brian turned to leave. "Oh, you might want to go to the mediwizard to have him look at your hand."
Harry looked at his right hand and saw that his knuckles were bleeding.
*
Harry would soon find out that the guys in his group were a bunch of rambunctious randy fellows when he discovered that the Long-legged Lass was a wizarding strip club. A visual reminder of what Ron was getting that he wasn't was not exactly what Harry needed. But news of his plight had traveled quickly among his group and the alcohol quickly began to flow down his throat. The night was a blur of crude jokes, lots of galleons, beautiful women and a shitload of alcohol. Nathan would later tell him that he spent at least fifty galleons on a stripper with long curly brown hair named Pumpkin Pie.
They paid for it the next morning, standing in the rain for roll call. The run that morning was brutal. Jeff, a young man from Australia, vomited on the captain and they all had to pay for it in the obstacle course.
"Dammit Jeff, couldn't you have swallowed it?" Nathan said bitterly as they stood in line waiting for their turn in the course. Harry shivered in the cold and rain.
"I can't see a damn thing," Lester took off his glasses.
"Here, give them to me," Harry said, tapping them with his wand. "Impervius," he said and handed him back the glasses.
"Thanks," Lester said. Nathan frowned thoughtfully and did the same thing to his face, shielding it from the rain.
"Nice," he said.
"POTTER! THORNTON! YOU'RE NEXT!" the captain bellowed.
"See you guys at the end," Harry said.
His group watched as the teen made his way through the obstacle course, hoping fences, dodging spells, and crawl through the mud to the end of the course.
"I don't know if I'm glad or cursed to have him in the field with us," Brian said thoughtfully.
~*~
Breakfast in the morning in the Great Hall was interrupted with the arrival of the owls delivering the mail to the students. By now, Hermione and Ron had gotten used to receiving nothing from Harry. Hermione received a letter from her parents and one from Remus Lupin. There were snickers and laughter coming from the Slytherin table.
"Oh geez, what now?" Ron muttered, sinking lower in his seat.
"Probably this," Parvati handed him and Hermione the latest issue of Witch Weekly. There was a small article in the bottom corner of the page Parvati had folded with the title HARRY POTTER'S WILD NIGHT.
"Harry? At a strip club?" Hermione said as she read the article. "This is just a load of rubbish."
"Yeah, the Slytherins will jump over any article that says anything bad about him," Ron added as he tossed the magazine back to Parvati.
"Ooh, Ginny! What is that?" Lavender said, squealing and pointing to a package she received.
It was a long narrow box with a dozen roses inside and a bright red ribbon wrapped around them. She read the card and blushed.
"It's nothing," Ginny said quietly.
Luna walked over. "Nothing, huh?" she said, snatching the tiny card from her hands that came with the flowers. She read it and raised an eyebrow. "Harry, eh?"
"Probably apologizing for the strip club," Malfoy said wryly as he and his group of Slytherins walked past their table.
Ron looked over at Hermione in concern but she was looking at Neville who was gathering his books and leaving the table. Hermione quickly grabbed her bag and hustled after him.
"Neville, wait!" she called out to him on the castle steps. He stopped and turned, waiting for her to catch up.
"What do you want?" he asked wearily.
"I…I know you fancy Ginny," she blurted out. Neville just stared at her.
"So?" he said finally and continued on his way down the steps. Hermione followed him.
"Well, I just…wanted to know if you were okay."
He stopped and looked back at the castle before looking at her. "How do you expect me to feel?" he said with angst. "He's bloody Harry Potter! How can a bloke like me compete with that?" he shrugged and walked away. Hermione watched him go, empathy for him filling her mind.
Neville's heartbreak and how to help him occupied her thoughts as she sat next to Malfoy in DADA that day. They were learning about the Patronus charm so Hermione for the first time, let her mind wander.
"Neville Longbottom?" Professor Smith called on him. "Could you please come up here and demonstrate?"
Neville swallowed nervously and held his breath for a moment, closing his eyes and Hermione assumed he was calming himself down because he hated to be called on. Sympathetic looks came from the male Gryffindors as he removed the notebook from his lap and slowly got out of his seat.
"The incantation is Expecto Patronum," Professor Smith said. "Try and think of your most happy thoughts as you cast it."
There was nothing about today that Neville could find happy and he failed at his first attempt to cast it. Hermione wished for the whole thing to be over, Neville could cast a Patronus, she had seen him do it. But he just didn't have it in him today.
The Slytherins began to snicker rudely as he tried and tried again to cast it. Humiliation growing hot on his face.
"The brainless git should just save himself the embarrassment and sit down," Malfoy muttered under his breath.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" Hermione hissed.
"I'm just speaking the truth," he hissed back.
"Oh, and you can cast a Patronus?" she whispered.
"Of course I can," he whispered back.
"You'd have to have happy thoughts to cast it. Not evil, vile thoughts of murdering your Headmaster," Hermione hissed back. She wished she could've taken it back immediately.
"What did you say?" Draco whirled on her, his voice dripping with malice. But she wasn't going to back down.
"You heard me," she whispered defiantly.
"Miss Granger, Mister Malfoy!" Professor Smith stood in front of their table. Neville was no longer in the front of the class, he was now back in his chair, head hung low, face red with embarrassment. "Once again, you have disrupted my class, now pray tell what it was that was so important that you felt the need to discuss it between yourselves?"
Hermione was still staring back defiantly at Malfoy and he was glaring at her with pure malice. "Mr. Malfoy was just bragging to me how adept he is at casting a Patronus," Hermione said evenly, not taking her eyes off the Slytherin.
"Is that so?" Professor Smith said. "Very well, up in front Mister Malfoy."
Draco's jaw clenched as he rose from his seat and marched up to the front of the class. "Expecto Patronum!" he said.
Nothing happened.
Hermione let a smug smile grow on her face.
"Expecto Patronum," he repeated. Again nothing happened. A ripple of snickers came from the Gryffindors. Even Neville, cracked a small smile.
"Expecto Patronum."
"Okay, that's enough Mister Malfoy," Professor Smith said. "Next time, have some tangible proof behind your claims before you start touting them to others. You may sit down." The Gryffindors were beaming at this point but their smiles wiped away quickly at her next words. "Five points from Miss Granger and Mister Malfoy for disrupting my class."
Draco sat down next to Hermione, anger and humiliation hot on his face as he stared straight ahead for the rest of the class.
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