My Best Friend
How stupid is it? I can't talk about it
I gotta sing about it and make a record of my heart
(How stupid is it? Won't you give me a minute
Just come up to me and say hello to my heart) How stupid is it?
For all I know you want me too and maybe you just don't know what to do or maybe you're scared to say: "I'm falling for you"
(El Scorcho-Weezer)
Ron traced a finger over the handle of the ceramic mug in front of him. He looked up at Hermione who was idly stirring her coffee. Her hair was pulled back in a loose ponytail and she wore a pale yellow t-shirt with her blue denim jeans. She had a leg tucked under her, an arm resting on the table as she gazed at nothing in the kitchen. She shifted slightly and tucked a few short strands of hair behind her ear.
"He's not going to like this," she said as she took a sip of her coffee.
"You think?" he answered sarcastically.
"Couldn't you have said something?"
"What the hell was I supposed to tell my mum?" Ron defended.
Hermione sighed. "I don't know."
The Weasley's were making a visit today to celebrate Harry's birthday but Ron knew better. His mom was just checking in on them, making sure that everything was intact after the eventful departure from the Dursley's. Ron had a feeling that Harry wouldn't be too thrilled with all the company. Although, Ginny would be there.
"You know, he didn't sleep in our usual room last night," Ron said ponderously.
Hermione raised an eyebrow at him. "What, can't sleep without your teddy bear?"
"Ha, ha," Ron said dryly. "You don't think he…took off and left, do you?"
Hermione shook her head. "He probably wanted to be alone. It's got to be rough coming back here."
"Yeah," Ron said quietly, scratching at a scorch mark on the table. But he straightened suddenly and changed the topic. "How's your hand?" he asked, motioning to her bandaged hand.
"It's alright. Your mum probably knows a potion to heal it faster," she said, inspecting her bandage.
"Yeah, she does. I had an unfortunate accident when I was younger involving her china cabinet." Hermione looked inquiringly at him but Ron shook his head. "Don't ask."
He took Hermione's injured hand and inspected Tonk's work. He nodded approvingly.
"I'm surprised she did a nice job," he said.
Hermione cracked a smile. "Ron! That's not nice!"
"Well, I'm sorry but it's true! Actually it shouldn't surprise me, the woman can't walk ten feet without knocking into something." Hermione giggled. "She's probably an expert at bandaging," he continued in a serious voice. "She can do it in her sleep."
"Ron, stop!" Hermione grinned in spite of herself.
"Behind her back," Ron continued.
Harry heard Hermione's laughter a minute too late before walking into the room, otherwise he would've turned back around to leave the two to…whatever it was that they were doing. But, he had the misfortune to walk into the kitchen.
"…do it blindfolded and tied up," Ron was saying.
What the hell did he walk into?! He stood there awkwardly in front of them. Ron was holding her hand but Hermione pulled it away from him as she got up to greet him.
"Morning Harry," she said cheerfully, there was still residual laughter in her tone.
"Morning," Harry replied, mentally smacking himself to remind himself that he should really stop being an ass about his two best friends.
Hermione cleared her throat and looked pointedly at Ron who had a look of confusion on his face before he jolted to alertness.
"Oh! Right, yeah. Um, Harry…" he began tentatively and Harry knew immediately he wasn't going to like what he was going to hear. "Well, you know, mum heard about last night and she tends to worry a lot and…she cares about you and…"
"The Weasley's are on their way this morning," Hermione finished, getting impatient.
Harry said nothing, he just stared at Hermione for the longest time.
"What?" he finally broke the silence. "Ah, man!" he whined.
"I'm sorry, Harry!" Ron said woefully. "You know how my mum gets. I couldn't say no to her!"
"It is your birthday," Hermione reminded him.
"Well, it's going to be a little hard looking for the locket with everyone here," Harry snapped.
Hermione shrugged. "Oh, come on Harry. It won't be so bad. You'll get to see Ginny again," she said sweetly with a smile. A little too sweetly, Harry thought, before she took her leave of the room. His gaze followed her out of the room until she left his sight before he turned to the cabinets to retrieve himself a mug.
"Not to pry or anything," Ron began hesitantly, "but uh…where were you last night? You didn't sleep in our usual room."
Harry slowly sat down in a chair and took a long drink of his coffee before he answered. "I thought you two would want a little privacy."
Ron looked at Harry and it suddenly occurred to him that they really hadn't talked about the changing dynamic in their friendships with Hermione. There hadn't really been any time to, so much had happened in so few months. But the opportunity was now here, the opportunity to ask Harry how he felt. Did he feel left out? Did he know that he and Hermione were still loyal to him? The opportunity was there for him to finally have someone to talk to about this new experience he was having with their best friend. To talk about his insecurities, doubts and hopes. Someone to talk to that could explain to him the feeling he would get every time he kissed her. The feeling that he had accomplished something by cheating, like your mom rewarding you with a chocolate chip cookie when you had already snuck three of them in on the side.
"Well, the thought was nice but Hermione and I haven't even gotten past first base yet," Ron said cautiously as he tested the waters. He was immediately met with brick wall.
"I really don't want to hear that," Harry said immediately before he could bite his own tongue. He would be too self-incriminating if he let Ron go on. First of all, acknowledging that he understood what first base was immediately implied that he knew what second base was and so on…And considering that his last girlfriend that he had been to second base with was Ron's sister put too much of a threat on his life and he had enough as it was. But what was more troubling is why this horrible feeling of extreme dislike at both of his friends simmered under the surface of his feelings at the thought of the two of them even engaging in those acts.
But at the moment, Ron was looking at him lost. He had reached out to him as a friend, a male to a male talking about a girl and was rebuked. Harry felt as if he should smooth this out somehow, but he valued his friendship with Ron and Hermione too much to even go down that road of holding conversation with Ron about the two of them.
"I…I just don't feel that comfortable talking about it, that's all," Harry decided to go the honest route, praying that Ron didn't interpret it into something that even he didn't understand just yet.
The corner of Ron's mouth quirked up into a small grin. "Yeah, I guess I would be kind of awkward if you wanted to talk to me about you and Ginny," he shrugged. "I keep forgetting that Hermione is like a sister to you."
Harry shifted uncomfortably in his seat, taking another drink of his coffee. As of late, the sisterly thoughts that intruded into his mind about Hermione would be greatly frowned upon in most societies.
~*~
Although, the initial arrival of the Weasley's bothered Harry, because it would delay them a bit to carry on with their horcrux hunt, Ginny's arrival was a welcome distraction from the tension that seemed to settle upon him.
"Hello, Harry," she said shyly as she greeted him.
"Hello," he replied, stuffing his hands in his pockets. He had broken things off with her and left their future in the air. The helpless feelings of what-ifs hung heavy between them and he found it soooo easy to just slip back into her arms. The temptation was there.
"I'm glad to see you are doing well," she said as she stepped toward him.
"You too," he replied honestly. "How's the wedding going?"
She rolled her eyes and laughed, tossing a few strands of her hair back. The action sent a pang of longing through him.
"Oh, I'm sure Ron told you all about it. Believe me, he wasn't exaggerating."
"Hello Ginny."
Harry's grin was wiped off his face when he saw Hermione standing behind her, a smug look on her face.
"Hi, Hermione! What happened to your hand?" Ginny pointed to her injury.
"Oh, it's just a cut. I was hoping your mum could help me out with it."
"Mum can fix anything, she's in the kitchen if you need her."
"Thanks!" Hermione replied. "And despite this formal greeting, Harry really is delighted to see you," she said as she walked away.
Ginny blushed and didn't meet Harry's eyes. Harry, however, was less than thrilled.
"Uh…we should…join the others," Ginny said as she looked up with Harry but was stunned to see a sudden detachment in his eyes.
"Yeah, we should."
They entered the kitchen to enter a room filled with activity. The twins greeted Harry enthusiastically, ribbing him about keeping an eye on him and Ginny in this big old house with many, many rooms. Arthur greeted Harry briefly before cornering Tonks and Lupin who were currently getting an earful from the beautiful Fleur. Bill and Charlie seemed to arguing over this season's Quidditch prospects for their favorite teams. His eyes settled on Hermione who was with Mrs. Weasley.
"Oh, Hermione, what happened?"
"It was just an accident, Mrs. Weasley. It's really nothing to worry about," Hermione let the woman carefully examine her cut.
Mrs. Weasley clicked her tongue. "Really, it's nothing," Hermione insisted.
"Maybe," Mrs. Weasley sighed. "A shallow cut today, who knows what will befall you three before the summer ends. I do wish you would come back to the Burrow where it is safe and you can be watched over."
Hermione wanted to argue that Grimmauld Place was just as safe but she knew that Molly wouldn't be persuaded that any place not under her watchful eye was safe enough for Ron and Harry. She looked across the room and caught Harry's eye before she turned her attentions back to Mrs. Weasley. She felt Ron come up behind her and placed his two hands on her shoulders, gently massaging her.
"We're alright, mum," he said to his mother. "Really."
~*~
Fred and Ginny did an excellent imitation of Fleur and Bill planning their wedding, with Ginny playing Bridezilla to Fred's lovestruck groom. George and Ron tumbled to the floor, clutching their abdomens in laughter with Harry joining in once in awhile when he took his attention off of the cabinet that held various trinkets. They had cleaned out this cabinet in the summer before his fifth year and Harry briefly wished he knew where all the rubbish went. Hermione was by the bookshelves, looking at the books that lined it and checking for anything out of the ordinary. She paused when she came to the large tapestry that held the Black Family lineage. She looked at all the names and the lines that crossed and tangled with each other. Pure-blood families like the Blacks had been notorious for keeping their bloodlines "clean". Where Sirius had been there was now a scorch mark and she let the sadness of it creep into her. Her eyes drifted over the tapestry and rested on another familiar name. Draco Malfoy. Briefly, Hermione wondered what had become of him.
"You know who I have been missing around here is that batty elf of yours," George said to Harry.
"Who, Dobby?" Harry asked, putting down a vase.
"No, that crinkly old one. Kreacher."
Harry looked up sharply at George then to Hermione who had a look of realization on her face. In all this time here, they had yet to see the ornery old elf.
"He's dead."
They all turned as Lupin entered the room. "What do you mean he's dead?" Harry asked.
"Nymphadora and I found him a couple of weeks ago."
"Thank goodness," Ron breathed.
"Ron!" Hermione chastised.
"I'm sorry but this place is just a little bit more enjoyable without him wandering around, muttering insults at your back."
"Harry, will you come with me for a moment?" Lupin asked.
He led him back down to the kitchen where there was a familiar looking stranger standing in the middle of the room. He had silvery hair and beard and his thin figure was tall.
"Harry, I'd like you to meet a member of the Order you haven't met yet. This is Aberforth Dumbledore. Albus' brother," Lupin said.
Immediately, Harry's heart plummeted into his stomach as he realized this man had a resemblance to his brother, Harry's mentor.
"We've met," Aberfoth said roughly and Harry recalled that he had been with Mundungus when he caught him pilfering the Black silverware and that he was the bartender at the Hog's Head.
"Well then. When Dumbledore passed away he left behind some orders for us to follow and one of them was Dumbledore's wish to have you continue on in your Occlumency lessons."
Harry visibly recoiled and backed away from the two men. He had such a bad experience before with the lessons. "No," he shook his head.
"Harry, I understand your hesitancy…" Lupin began but Harry cut him off.
"No, you don't. I already had the pleasure of having Snape mess around with my head and I don't want it anymore."
"Professor Snape," Lupin corrected him.
"No…Snape," Harry shot back. "No deal. Are we done now?" He moved to leave but Lupin held him back.
"Harry I understand your hesitancy but you must understand the urgency. You need to master this task. Without it, Voldemort will annihilate you before you even have a chance."
Lupin's words painfully reminded Harry of Snape's words to him on the night he murdered Dumbledore.
"Harry, you know the consequences of what happens when you let Voldemort into your head. You must learn to block him, it's important. Dumbledore knew it was important so he left instructions for Aberforth to teach you."
Harry regarded the man warily. He didn't look like someone who would know this sort of thing. What the hell could he teach him? Giving them one last look, he left the kitchen to seek the solace of being alone.
He wanted to be alone again in Sirius' room. He donned the invisibility cloak and sat in the darkness when Ron came looking for him, followed shortly by Ginny then Lupin. He remembered the last lessons of occlumency that he received from Snape. What had he seen? Had he given anything away? The traitor never finished his lessons resulting in Harry being deceived by Voldemort and lured to the Department of Mysteries. His heart dropped when he thought of the events that horrible night. And now the thought that he was to be taught by someone who had a slight resemblance to his mentor, whose death was still painfully raw, ate at him.
At some point in the night he had fallen asleep because the next thing he knew, he was lying on the floor. He sat up quickly and wondered what it was that had brought him out of his sleep, something had, he was sure of it.
The soft sound of scraping caught his attention and sent him on high alert. He quickly slipped out of the room and paused listening for the scraping sound to lead him. All the others were silent, the doors to Ron, Ginny's and Hermione's rooms were dark and quiet. There seemed to be no one stirring except for whatever was scraping above him.
Making his way into the attic, he heard voices, soft but clear and he immediately recognized Hermione's.
"I'm so sorry," she whispered. "I'm so sorry."
Quietly, Harry stepped forward to see Hermione sitting on the floor in the pale light of the streetlamp outside. She had her knees hugged to her chest and wand held loosely in one hand while the other wrapped around her wrist. She was still dressed in the clothes she wore today although a grey sweater was now covering her t-shirt. Her curls fell softly around her shoulders and she sniffled softly.
Harry was slightly alarmed to see the body lying in front of her. It was obviously a boggart since it was his own dead body that lay at her feet but how it got there and why she was up here had yet to be answered.
Her hand lifted to her face to wipe some tears off of her cheeks before she took a deep breath. The fact that she was still staring and crying at his dead body on the floor unnerved him.
He shrugged out of the invisibility cloak, letting it fall to the dusty floor as he knelt down next to her. She looked up at him in surprise and pain, her face wet with tears. Harry didn't know why he did it but he reached out an brushed away her tears with both of his hands, cradling her face.
"Hermione?" he whispered. Who knew how long she had been up here looking at his dead body.
Her eyes roamed over his face before she unfolded her arms and reached out to him. Harry brought her into an embrace and stroked her hair.
"Oh, Harry," she said so sadly.
"Shh, it's okay. It's just a boggart, I'm real and I'm alive," he said in a soothing whisper.
"I just came up here to look for the locket when it appeared," she explained.
"Shh, Hermione," he said softly, hugging her closer to him.
Her sobs quieted even more and as she grew calmer, her embrace began to loosen. Still kneeling, Harry pulled away from her but still had one hand in her hair, the other began to wipe away the rest of her tears. She looked up at him and he realized just how close they were.
"He's my best friend, Hermione," he whispered.
"I know," she answered pitifully. "He's mine, too."
But yet, he didn't move away from her. He moved closer instead, moving the hand that wiped away her tears to cradle her head. Hermione's hands tightened on his shoulders and she licked her lips in anticipation, an action that inexplicably drove him insane. He could feel the hotness of her breath on his lips and her lips parted slightly in anticipation of his kiss.
"What happ-Oh!"
Harry and Hermione sprang away from each other at Lupin's words. The marauder looked at the two of them then at the boggart on the floor. Harry didn't even dare to chance a glance at Hermione and she, evidently, felt the same because she quickly made her way out of the room.
Harry stood there awkwardly under Lupin's scrutinizing gaze like a kid who had been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. He almost did and he felt horrible for it.
"Riddikulus," he said, banishing the boggart from sight.
As he walked past Lupin, he caught his arm. "He's your best friend. That's not something you can take lightly. Trust me."
Harry shrugged his arm away. "Nothing happened," he muttered.
~*~
"I still don't understand why mum won't let me stay. I mean, Hermione's here!" Ginny proclaimed over breakfast the next morning.
"Yeah and they're of age so mum has no say in the matter," Fred answered.
"Besides, if Harry was going to do to you what Ron is doing to Hermione, she'd be right to say no," George added.
"Shut it!" Ron scolded his brother's, blushing red.
Harry, who was sitting next to him, said nothing and continued to eat his cereal. Hermione was sitting on the other side of the twins, across from Ginny and she and Harry avoided looking at each other.
"Alright! Is everyone ready to go?" Mrs. Weasley announced as she entered the kitchen. The Weasley's grumbled and got up from the table taking their dishes and handing them to their mother who did a cleaning charm on them and sent them neatly back in the cabinets. Ginny walked over to Harry who stood to give her a hug.
"I'm sorry I can't stay," she said to him.
"I'll see you at the wedding," he replied back.
Ron was waiting for Ginny before he said goodbye to his friend. "Take care, Harry. And, uh, stay safe, okay."
"Yeah, I will," Harry replied.
Ron walked over to Hermione and said goodbye, giving her a hug and a kiss on the forehead. Harry didn't bother averting his eyes, he seemed obsessed with their actions toward each other. There was a bustle of activity as the Weasley's left the house and then with the closing of the door, silence fell upon them. Hermione turned to look at him, rubbing her arms because the kitchen was cool in the morning air.
"We should keep looking for that locket," Hermione said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
"Yeah," Harry said quietly. "I suppose we should." And with dread he followed her out of the kitchen.
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