The Bad Boyfriend
I really used to be a bad girl
I got busted for possession of my wizard-shaped bong
I used love to do the things they tell me not to do
But now I'm different, now I sing a new song
I really used to be a bad girl
I got gangbanged in the bathroom at my high school prom
Yes, I used to be a real wild child
But now I am a Volvo-driving soccer mom
(Volvo Driving Soccer Mom-Everclear)
~*~
Harry woke up to snow falling outside and a bright morning. Although it was warm in the room, the atmosphere warranted that it was okay to stay in bed a little longer.
"What isss that?" Isis hissed, snaking up the window.
"Snow," Harry answered from underneath the covers.
"It'sss cold," she said.
Three weeks had passed since Harry arrived at Hogwarts and it had been, thankfully, relatively uneventful. He spent his days going about class, studying, keeping up on his training and sleeping. He had to admit to himself that his favorite times of the day were when he was quietly studying with Hermione, either in the library or the common room. It brought a sense of peace to him and normalcy. Not coming here with his friends had been a mistake and tested his friendship with Ron and her but now things were slowly coming back together. Studying late with Hermione was just the icing on the cake, a sign that everything would be okay between them.
His roommates started to stir and Harry decided that maybe he should start the day after all. He sat up and rubbed his face to wake himself up a little more. Putting on his glasses, he saw that Neville was up as well as Dean, who was yawning widely.
"Morning guys," Harry said to the two of them.
"Morning," Dean replied sleepily.
"Good morning, Dean," Neville said then made his way to the bathroom.
Okay, well, not everything was at it was.
Neville was still not on speaking terms with Harry. In fact, he was being a downright prat to him and he had no idea why. Hermione had somehow won Neville over and they were okay with each other and he wasn't even the one that got the guy into the mess in the first place.
Ron's stomach grumbled loudly, indicating that he should get up and start eating as he rose groggily from his bed. They eventually made their way downstairs to the common room where Romilda Vane was surrounded by her usual group of friends, talking and giggling. They immediately stopped as Harry and Ron descended from the stairs and as they passed, she called out.
"Hello Harry!" Harry was taken aback by the sultry tone in her voice and the way the girls were looking at him, like he was covered in pudding and they wanted to lick it off of him. He said nothing in return and decided that he and Ron should make a hasty exit.
"What was that all about?" Ron asked.
"I don't know," Harry said, looking back at the portrait from whence they came.
As they made their way down to the Great Hall, the two of them noticed the girls seemed extra giggly today.
"Hello Harry," a group of fifth year Hufflepuff girls said to him as they looked over him appraisingly.
Harry and Ron scrambled into the Great Hall, seeking solace among familiar faces at the Gryffindor table.
"Hi Harry," came the chorus of Lavender and Parvati as they suddenly sat up straight from gossiping with Ginny and Hermione.
"Down girls," Ginny said to them, flatly, as Harry sat down next to her.
"What is with all of them, today?" Harry muttered to her.
"Nothing," Ginny said flatly. "They're just a bunch of harpies."
Hermione smirked. "It's really nobody's business," she said as she picked up a muffin. "Although, it could be a good guideline," she winked.
Ginny's jaw dropped. "Hermione!" she giggled.
"Hmeffmmrr," Ron said with a mouth full of eggs. Ginny tutted at her brother.
"What are you talking about?" Harry asked.
"Nothing," Ginny and Hermione answered together.
"I'll catch you guys later," Hermione sighed as she gathered her bookbag. "I'm headed to the library to finish up our Transfiguration homework before class starts."
Ron choked on his eggs and Harry looked over at her disbelievingly. Hermione didn't do her homework???? Hermione turned on the bench, straddling it to leave before she paused and looked over at Ginny, giving her a small wink.
"Excuse me, Harry," Hermione said in an overly sweet voice. And before he could process what was happening, she scooted right up to him and draped one leg over his under the table where Ginny couldn't see. He was assaulted by her inviting scent of cinnamon and vanilla and felt an immediate reaction to her. She placed one hand high on his thigh, fingers brushing his hardening cock as she reached over him to grab an apple from the platter by him, her breasts so close to his face.
Oh. My. God.
And then, just as quickly she pulled away. What the hell was she doing, Harry thought. His freaking girlfriend was sitting right across from him. Laughing at him actually. Harry knew he was blushing furiously from the naughty thoughts that seeped past his mental barrier.
Hermione got up from the table and ruffled Harry's hair playfully. "Catch you boys later," she cooed then left for the library. Harry forced his eyes to stay on his plate and not longingly follow Hermione's backside out of the Great Hall.
Ginny shook her head at him. "Boys are so pathetic," she said with amusement.
Harry thought there was nothing funny in his adulterous thoughts of going to the library, finding that little minx and shagging her as he pressed her against the bookshelves. Great, now he had a full-blown erection. He stabbed angrily at his eggs on his plate.
~*~
Ron had to actually use his Prefect status to break up a minor scuffle on their way to Potions between Heather Stanfield and Rebecca Manning, two Hufflepuff sixth years that were always seen together.
"Did you think I wouldn't recognize your writing you traitorous little bitch!" Heather had hissed at her.
"Hey, hey, hey!" Ron said, bravely stepping in to break up the little catfight. He ended up taking only a few points from them and then he and Harry continued on their way.
"I don't understand it," he said. "The girls are nuttier than normal." Harry nodded in consent. He was still reeling from Hermione's blatant advances on him. Oh, he couldn't start thinking of that again.
The two of them plopped down at their tables as the student's began filing in. Harry rested his arms on the table and his chin as Ron chattered away about the newest player added to his beloved Canons teams. Suddenly, Harry saw grey then wonderful smooth legs as Hermione moved between the two of them and sat on the table, scooting backwards slightly.
Oh bloody hell, Harry thought grumpily as Hermione dangled her legs from the table, swinging them back and forth.
"I just heard that the Slytherin Keeper has Saturday detention and won't be participating in this weekend's game against Ravenclaw," she said casually to Ron.
Ron sat back in his chair. "Excellent!" he said then dove into his bookbag to rummage for his precious playbook. Hermione crossed her legs (Harry swallowed hard) and turned to her other friend.
"Harry, I won't be able to help you study tonight in the library," she said. This caught Harry's attention.
"What?"
"That's okay," she shrugged. "You're all caught up now. Just be sure to keep up on your studies now."
The professor walked in and Hermione bounced off the table and returned to her own. Harry stared forward. No studying in the library with Hermione tonight? What the hell was she doing that was much more important, he thought sulkily.
His bad mood stayed with him until the evening as he, Ginny and Ron sat in the library. Hermione wasn't in there and he was very distracted. The three of them eventually gave up and decided to head back to the common room. Ginny was unusually silent.
"Are you alright?" Harry asked her, gently nudging her shoulder with his as they walked through the halls.
"Yeah, I think I'm just tired," Ginny said. "We didn't get much homework done, did we?"
"Not without the Head Girl breathing down our necks," Harry said, not bothering to hide the bitterness in his voice.
"Yeah, well, I'm sure she's a little busy with Neville," Ginny said with snark.
Harry looked at her. "What do you mean?"
"Luna told me that Padma told her that Parvati told her that she saw Hermione and Neville in the greenhouse every night for the past week and a half."
"The greenhouse? What is she doing in the greenhouse? Pasty pastilles," he gave the password to the Pink Lady who swung her portrait open.
"Given Neville's reputation in greenhouses, I doubt they're potting plants," Ginny said bitterly as Harry let her go through the portrait first.
"Huh," Harry said thoughtfully as he followed Ginny in.
He went up to his dorm and took out the Marauder's Map and found that Hermione and Neville were indeed in the greenhouse. Taking his invisibility cloak, he left the common room again.
There was a soft glow of lighting coming from the glass paned building as Harry put on the cloak and padded over. At first glance he didn't see anyone inside but as he moved around the building he spotted Neville on the floor of the greenhouse, leaning back propped on his elbows. Harry could only see him from mid stomach up and he couldn't see Hermione anywhere.
Quietly, oh so quietly he opened the door. The warm air, permeated with the smell of dirt and dragon manure immediately hit his nostrils.
"Like this?" he heard Hermione ask.
"Yeah," Neville answered. "Now, just stroke it, move your hand up and down."
"Okay," Hermione breathed.
"Very good," Neville coached. "Slow down a bit, you want smooth gentle caresses or else it will explode all over you. And believe me the stuff is sticky."
What the FUCK??!!!
"You know, you're very good at this Hermione," Neville said smiling. "I should ask you to do this for me more often."
Oh hell no!!!
Harry slipped into the greenhouse, wand at the ready to protect Hermione's virtue. Well, what was left of it, he had pretty much shot it out of the water this summer but that was beside the point. Who knew what sort of thing Neville was making Hermione do.
Bastard.
"There!" Hermione proclaimed proudly.
Harry just rounded the corner, ready to hex Neville when he saw Hermione sitting on the ground surrounded by pots filled with the tiny buds of Mimbletonias.
Neville sat up. "Congratulations, you have successfully repotted all of these plants," he said as he helped Hermione to her feet.
She brushed her hands on her skirt to rid them of the remainders of the soil. "So…are we even?"
"Yeah we're even," he grinned. She gathered up the gardening tools and put them away.
"I really am sorry about what I did, Neville," she said sincerely.
Oh, so she was making up for her little scheme, Harry understood.
"Really I am," she said as she leaned back against a table.
"Hermione, I already accepted your apology," he said softly. "Besides, popularity isn't what it's cracked up to be. You end up losing sight of what you wanted most."
"Oh Neville," she said sympathetically, placing a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sure Ginny…"
Ginny?!
"What? Will break up with Harry Potter?" Neville scoffed. Hermione sighed.
"You're a truly wonderful guy, sensitive and caring." Harry rolled his eyes. "I did what I did because I wanted others to see what I see, I wanted you to see how wonderful you are. It backfired just a bit, though."
Neville grinned. "Yeah, just a bit. But enough about me, what about you?"
Hermione straightened up. "What about me?"
"How was your little date with Ernie?" Neville asked.
Hermione sighed. "News travels fast doesn't it?"
Ernie?! Ernie MacMillan and Hermione? ARGH!
"Saw you two getting cozy in the bookstore in Hogsmeade," Neville nudged her.
"Oh, ha ha. Very funny. No it's not going to happen."
"Really?"
"Trust me," Hermione said firmly and Neville laughed.
"Well, I think we're done here." Neville announced and let Hermione (and Harry) out of the greenhouse and back up to the castle.
They split up on the third floor and Harry kept following Hermione unsure as to how and when he should uncover himself. To his curiosity, she didn't go to her room, she went directly to the Prefect's bath. Harry hesitated at the door.
Hermione was achy and tired and she smelled of dragon dung. She had paid off her debt to Neville after humiliating him the way she did and she couldn't wait to take a long hot bath. But first things first.
She slipped through the door, then waited until it closed and locked "Occupied" did she reach out and grip the invisibility cloak, revealing her friend.
"You need to work on your stealth," she said lazily.
Harry pouted and folded his cloak. "I'll have you know that I was at the top of my training group in stealth," he said.
Hermione shrugged off her cloak and grinned. "Compared to a classroom full of Grawps?" She tugged her sweater over her head.
"I have stealth," Harry muttered, looking down at his shoes. Hermione sat down on a bench and took off her shoes and stockings.
"What were you doing in the greenhouse?" she asked.
"I was worried about you and wanted to know where you were."
"So why did you take your invisibility cloak?" She unbuttoned her blouse.
Harry eyed her. "Habit," he replied. "What are you doing?" he asked.
She shrugged out of the garment, revealing a lacy black bra underneath. Harry felt it get suddenly very hot in the room.
"Taking a bath. This is the Prefect bath you know."
"Oh, I know," Harry replied as he watched her skirt fall and pool to the floor, following the leg up to see her in a matching lacy black hipster.
He should leave.
"Besides, you've seen me in much less. It doesn't bother me that you're here," she shrugged. Her arms came behind her and unhooked her bra and Harry watched the straps glide down her arms. His mouth went dry and he could feel the blood leaving his head and going south. Her perky breasts were exposed to him and he ached to reach out and touch them again. Caress them, tease them, suck on them. She turned away from him and removed her hipsters revealing her bottom to him, the firm roundness of them that he wanted to reach out and cup. He silently begged her not to turn around for fear that she would give him a glimpse of her triangle patch of hair that would have him reach his breaking point. He was already hard as it was.
Mercifully she walked into the bubbly tub and went underwater. When she surfaced, Harry was still in the room but now standing at the edge of the bath. She swam over to him and he knelt down.
"Care to join me?" she asked playfully.
A wry grin grew on his face. "You know I won't."
"Ever the perfect boyfriend to Ginny aren't you?" Her disdain was not lost on him. He stood and smiled.
"Have a nice bath, Hermione," he said and walked away from her. A wicked grin grew across his face and he turned around to see that Hermione had gone back underwater. With a wave of his hand, her clothes and wand flew into his hands. He wasn't a Marauder's son for nothing.
Hermione let the warm water wash over her, cleaning her as she tried to block out her hate for Harry. Well, not exactly hate for him but for that damned honorable streak in him that she so admired. She envied Ginny. She cursed herself for still having feelings for him. Why didn't he choose her? She sighed and rubbed her face before stepping out of the bath…
…and finding that all her clothes were missing.
"Harry!" she cursed.
She grabbed the towel and wrapped it around her. She could transfigure the towel into some clothes. She looked around for her wand and found that it too was gone.
"Oh, I'm going to kill him!" she said through gritted teeth.
She opened the door to the bath and looked both ways, seeing if it was indeed clear before she hustled out of the bathroom and padded down the hall in her bare feet.
"I say!" said one of the portraits.
"The scandal!" said another.
Peering around the next corner to see if it was clear, she sprinted down the hall only to repeat it again wherever she made and turn and went up the stairs.
"Fiddle dee dee, Twinkle toes," Hermione said.
"Forget something my dear?" the portrait asked as she swung open.
"Hermione?" Ernie said in a startled voice as she darted past him. "Wait!"
"Not now Ernie," she said and ran into her room, slamming the door behind her.
"You know. You're awfully cute when you're angry."
Harry was sitting in an armchair, grinning, with his feet propped on her bed and his hands behind his head.
"Harry James Potter!" she scolded. "You are a dead man!"
Harry shrugged. "Tell me something I don't know."
"Get out!" she pointed to her bedroom door.
"From the messages you're sending me, I would think this was exactly where you wanted me."
"Oh really? Well, you made it perfectly clear that this is the last place you'd want to be." The grin faded from Harry's face and Hermione leaned against the stone wall, one hand on her hip the other still holding her towel together. "What's the matter, Harry?" she asked. "Regretting your decision? Too bad, I've moved on."
Harry scoffed. "Yeah, I heard, with Ernie, Mr. Head Boy."
"Gave up that, too, didn't you?" She sighed dramatically. "Maybe that was a good thing. It would've been awkward with you sleeping in the next room. I wouldn't want to hear you fucking Ginny as much as you'd want to hear me call Ernie's name out."
Harry got up from the chair and walked over to her, eyes narrowed, but she didn't budge. She only turned to face him, her back against the wall as he placed his two hands on either side of her and leaned down to whisper in her ear.
"You can be such a bitch sometimes. Do you know that?"
His breath was hot on her ear and it raised goosebumps on her skin. His lips moved away from her ear and brushed lightly across her cheek and stopping at her lips, hovering there for a just a moment before he moved away from her and left the room. Hermione waited until the door closed before letting the hot tears spill down her cheeks as she sank to the floor.
~*~
Harry and Ron stepped out of the common room the next morning to find a commotion in the hallway as students blocked the walkways and paper was everywhere. There was a light buzz in the air as the girls gasped and giggled.
"I kiss like a fish! I kiss like a fish! Did you write this?" he heard Dennis Creevey exclaim.
"What the hell?" Ron muttered as he surveyed the scene.
Seamus and Dean came up to the two of them and Dean clapped Harry on the back. "Way to go mate! You and Ginny, eh?"
"What are you talking about?" Harry asked.
"The List man!" Seamus exclaimed. "It's all over the school. We think Heather Stanfield did it as revenge against Justin and Rebecca but at least you got better reviews than I did." He turned to the crowd. "For the record ladies, I am a pretty good snog."
Harry went to a wall and tore down a piece of paper. It was a list of nearly every male at Hogwarts with a little blurb next to their names. Justin's name was circled and someone, Heather he assumed, had written ASSHOLE!! The little blurb next to his name had an arrow pointing to it with the words underneath: DON'T LET HER FOOL YOU, THIS IS REBECCA MANNING'S WRITING, THE SLUT!!! Harry searched for his name and immediately found it.
Harry Potter: Great kisser. Amazing sex.
FUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!
Someone brushed past him quickly, knocking him hard on the shoulder as he walked past. Harry looked up to see that it was Neville, a piece of paper crumpled up in his hand as he tossed it aside. Ron moved to Harry's side, also holding a piece of paper.
Seamus came up to the two of them. "Ginny," he said shaking his head. "Lucky bastard."
Harry turned to Ron to see that he was glaring at him. He crumpled up the paper and shoved it against Harry's chest.
"Ron, wait," Harry said.
"Ooh, forgot that was his sister you banged," Seamus frowned. "Sorry about that mate."
Harry grabbed another piece of paper off of the wall and saw that it was the exact same as the one he held, he grabbed another then another. He looked down the hall and saw that the walls were covered with them.
He took off down the hall after Ron and instead turned the corner and ran into Ginny.
"Ginny!" he said, breathless. "the papers on the wall…"
"Oh please," she rolled her eyes. "I've known about it for ages. It was found in the Gryffindor girls' lavatory. Do you honestly think I'd believe that crap?"
Harry couldn't even process this right now. "Have you seen Ron?"
"Yeah, he went that way," she pointed behind her. "Tell me he doesn't believe this crap."
Harry didn't answer her and ran down the hall. He found Ron sitting at the table in the Great Hall which was buzzing with chatter. Harry did his best to ignore the few heads that turned in his direction as he sat down next to his friend.
"Don't talk to me right now," Ron warned him.
"Ron, listen to me. I swear to you that I didn't sleep with Ginny!" he whispered pleadingly.
"Harry, it doesn't matter if you did or if you didn't! It's what other people think of my sister, what other people say about her."
"I don't care about that," Ginny said as she sat down in front of her brother. "People say all sorts of things. Remember when everyone thought Harry was the Slytherin heir? This whole thing will die down soon enough. Like I said, the girls have known about it, this List has been going around for some time."
Harry looked down at the List in his hand. He wondered if no one else saw what he did. After reading her letters, copying her homework and notes for six years, there was no way he couldn't recognize her writing. Even if she tried to disguise her writing, which she did, he could still pick out her certain nuances. Furthermore, who else would write what she wrote. She had first hand experience.
"Where's Hermione?" he asked softly. Ron became very still next to him.
"Where do you think?" Ginny asked. She's in the Headmistress's office with Ernie trying diffuse this situation between Heather, Justin and Rebecca."
"Oh my God you guys," Lavender came bustling toward them. "Loony and Michael Corner are totally fighting in front of the castle!" The three of them looked at each other then scrambled out of their seats.
"Don't lie to me!" Luna screamed at her boyfriend. "I found it in your room!" Harry let out a low whistle when he saw she was holding her cork necklace in her hand.
Michael looked around and saw that they had attracted a crowd. "Well so what?" he exclaimed. "Can you blame me for taking it? I mean, honestly, who wears that kind of shit anyway?"
"Who cares if I wear it? You shouldn't" she pointed a finger at him.
"I do care. I had to be seen with you! How you dress is a reflection of me. People call you Loony behind your back!"
"WHO CARES???"
"You wear ridiculous clothes, and stupid earrings…you're a joke Luna!"
Ron threw his books down and flew at Michael.
"Ron, no!!" Ginny exclaimed and tried to go after him but Harry held her back.
"You take that back!" Ron said as he tackled Michael to the ground. Luna yelped in surprise.
"What the hell, Weasley," Michael exclaimed.
"Take back what you said!" he demanded.
"NO!"
Ron pointed his wand at him. "I said take it back!"
Luna stepped forward. "Please don't Ronald. I don't want you to get in trouble."
"Yeah, so get off of me," Michael sneered.
Ron glared at him then put his wand away.
"Knew you couldn't do it," Michael grinned but Ron's left fist struck out so fast and hit Michael in the jaw.
"Ow! Fuck that hurt!" Ron said as he jumped off of the knocked out piece of filth, shaking his hand out.
Harry picked up his books and walked over to his friend. "Come on, let's take you to the hospital wing," he said.
"Stupid piece of rubbish," Ron muttered angrily.
"Ron, that was so awesome," Ginny beamed at him.
*
Harry looked up hopefully when the hospital wing doors opened and Professor McGonagall walked through…alone. She had lectured Ron on his abysmal behavior as a Prefect and that muggle fighting was NOT the answer to a disagreement. She assigned him detention to be served with Filch then left him to be fussed over by Madame Pomfrey.
"Ron, that was really great of you to stick up for Luna the way you did," Ginny said, beaming proudly at her brother.
"Yeah, who knew her own boyfriend stole the necklace," Harry added.
"I always told her he was such a loser. I guess you have to find out that stuff on your own," Ginny sighed.
The small sound of a throat clearing caught their attention and the three of them looked up to see Luna standing in front of them.
"Uh," Harry looked over at his hopeful friend then at Ginny. "We're just going to…"
"Do our homework?" she shrugged and she and Harry walked away.
Ron looked up at the pretty blonde. "I suppose you're here to tell me what a horrible thing I had done punching the git."
"No," she replied. She sat down on his bed and tenderly picked up his bandaged hand. "Are you going to be okay?"
"She said it was going to be sore for a couple of days. How about you? Are you going to be alright?"
"Now that I dumped the stupid git, I'm thinking that there are definitely brighter days ahead," she smiled. Ron looked down to see that her hand was entwined in his. "I'll see you around Ronald." She gave his hand a final squeeze then moved off of the bed to walk away.
Ron scrambled off of it and went after her. "Hey," he said, reaching out to grab her arm, turning her to him. "I like your radish earrings the best," he said shyly, scratching the back of his head.
"You don't think they're ridiculous?" she asked.
He grinned. "Well, of course I do, but I like them all the same. It's what makes you…you."
Luna peered up at him. "Are you saying that you…like me?" she asked.
"Oh, well…I, uh…," Ron floundered before Luna leaned up and kissed him. Ron wasn't going to let her get away from him this time as he wrapped his arms around her and held her close.
Out in the hall, Harry and Ginny closed the door to the hospital wing quietly and tiptoed away.
"I thought it was going to take him forever to admit it," Ginny sighed.
"You're telling me. I was about to go in there and knock him upside the head," Harry agreed. "So…Ron and Luna."
"She's liked him for ages," Ginny said softly.
The two of them walked together in silence, both working up the nerve to say what was on their minds. Finally, Harry stepped up to the plate.
"I'm not making you happy, am I?" he asked.
"Harry," she sighed.
"No, it's okay. I know it. Believe me Ginny, I'm a real crappy boyfriend, I've got a death wish hanging over my head and anyone close to me, I've broken up and made up with you only to neglect you."
"Harry," Ginny stopped him. "You're a really great guy, really you are. Any girl would be lucky to call you theirs but…"
"…We're just not that into each other that way anymore, are we?"
Ginny's face crumpled. "God, I feel like such a jerk."
Harry hugged her to him. "We're both jerks. You know I still care so much about you but, only as…"
"A sister?" she asked.
"Yeah, kinda. That's sick isn't it?" he said, breaking the hug.
"Considering that lately, snogging with you has been like snogging my brother…"
"Oh, please don't say that," Harry winced. "I've been described as a great kisser or so I read."
Ginny rolled her eyes. "You guys have such sensitive egos."
"Speaking of egos," Harry rocked on his heels. "When are you going to quit sniping about Neville and do something about it?"
"Oh, please, don't bring up that over-inflated prat," she sighed.
"What if I told you that the reason why he fell so easily into Hermione's little scheme was that he thought it would get you to like him?"
"I liked him the way he was, before," Ginny frowned.
Harry shrugged. "Maybe he needs to hear that."
~*~
It had been a long day, Hermione thought as she and Ernie dragged themselves to their rooms. Mediation between Heather, Justin and Rebecca was a long tedious process. They were bickering constantly and finally, their parent's were summoned to help difuse this situation. The three of them had substantial house points taken away as well as a month's worth of detention which included retrieving every single copy of the List the muggle way, no magic allowed.
"I'm beat," Ernie said, looking out the balcony they were walking by into the dark sky filled with stars.
"I'm starving," she replied, they had missed lunch and dinner in the Great Hall.
Standing by the portrait was a very irate looking Harry. Hermione heaved a heavy sigh.
"Now what?" she muttered.
"Could I talk to you for a moment?" he asked wearing the fakest smile ever as he walked over to her.
"Actually, I'm a little hungry and we were just about to find something to eat so if you don't mind, it's just going to have to wait," she said irritably.
Harry's fake smile didn't waver as he marched forward and grabbed her upper arm, dragging her away from Ernie.
"Harry!" she protested, "what are you doing?"
"Hey, Harry! You can't do that to a Head Girl!" Ernie called out, following the two of them. Harry stopped and turned to face the Head Boy.
"Believe me, MacMillan, there are many things I've already done with this Head Girl so BACK OFF!"
"Ernie, it's okay," Hermione reassured the nervous young man. "Really, I'm sure Harry has something important to talk to me about." Harry narrowed his eyes at him, driving the point home that he should stay away.
The young man nodded and walked back toward the portrait. "I'll save some food for you," he said to Hermione before he stepped into the room.
Harry turned to Hermione. "You haven't eaten yet?"
"Are you done with the Alpha male act?" she asked testily as she yanked her arm out of his grip.
Harry pulled out a crumpled piece of paper and practically shoved it in front of her face. "Do you want to explain this to me?" he demanded.
Hermione took it from his hand and saw that it was the List. She had seen and talked about it all day and quite frankly was sick of it already. "Well, you see this is called paper and all these little markings on it are called letters, a bunch of them together make up things call words…"
Harry lowered his hand slightly. "Funny, Hermione. Real cute. I'm talking about your little stunt putting that little sentence next to my name." Hermione opened her mouth to protest but he cut her off. "Hermione, don't insult me, I've been copying your notes for years, I know your writing when I see it, even if you tried to disguise it."
Hermione smiled sweetly. "Oh, I thought you'd be pleased that I gave you such a great review."
"You knew Ginny would read it!" he accused.
"So? I'm sure she was happy to know that you aren't a total flop in bed," she shrugged.
"A total….Hermione, did you leave the list in the girls' lavatory?"
"Why, Mr. Potter, that would be a totally devious thing to do," she smirked, "especially since your girlfriend would read that her boyfriend has already been test driven by his best female friend."
Harry straightened up. "Test driven. That's what you want to call it?"
"Isn't that how you treated it?" she asked.
Harry relaxed a little as he regarded her. "FYI, your little scheme didn't work. She didn't recognize the writing and she thought the whole thing was rubbish."
"Well, then, you have nothing to worry about."
Harry smirked and reached out to place both hands on her shoulders. "You have a dark gift, my friend. This is the second little scheme you pulled and it hasn't worked. I think your days as an evil mastermind are over." Hermione rolled her eyes and smiled. "Come on, let's go down to the kitchen and get you something to eat."
"Harry! Hermione!"
The two of them turned to see Ron sprinting down the hallway toward them.
"Ron, what's the matter?" she asked then looked at his bandaged hand. "What happened to your hand?"
Ron was doubled over, hands on his knees as he tried to catch his breath. "What? Never mind, listen. I think I found something you need to see."
They followed Ron as he led them through the castle. "I had to serve detention tonight with Filch, right? So, he makes me polish all the trophies in the trophy case and that's when I saw…"
They stopped in front of it.
"…this."
He pointed in the case at a silver cup that blended in well with the other trophy cups but was noticeably smaller.
"No way!" Harry said incredulously.
"Unbelievable!" Hermione exclaimed.
Ron reached out to retrieve it but both Harry and Hermione stopped him. He looked at the two of them. "Relax, I've already touched it."
"Ron!" Hermione scolded.
"You should know better than to touch those things!" Harry reminded him.
"I didn't notice it until I had it in my hands," he explained. "But do you think it could be it?"
"Yeah, that's it," Harry said softly. "I recognize it from what Dumbledore showed me."
"So what do we do now?" Ron asked.
Hermione reached out and took the cup from the case. "First, we steal it," she said, stuffing it into her robes. Harry and Ron looked at her incredulously.
"Hermione, Filch will notice it's gone," Harry said.
"Yeah," Ron agreed. "I'm pretty sure Filch counts these things everyday to make sure they're all there."
Hermione rolled her eyes. "We are wizards you know," she said. "We'll just go down to the kitchens and transfigure a cup to look like this one. Now, I can't riddle this cup out on an empty stomach so who's coming with me to the kitchens?" she asked and walked away. Harry and Ron picked their jaws up from off the floor and followed their fairer friend.
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