Chapter 1 - 'Dreams come True?'
The sun was setting a beautiful shade of red as I watched the reflections dancing on the water. I love the beach. It is so peaceful here, especially with the company I am with. I look out into the water and see her, her brown curls haphazardly piled on top of her head. She's laughing at the boy and girl that are with her. The boy, tall with sandy brown hair and freckles was trying to dive down and stand on his hands in the water. Suddenly I saw his head disappear and his feet come straight up almost hitting the girl's face. His sister, the girl, had copper curls that cascaded down her back, and dark chocolate eyes, just like her mother, who was now trying desperately to turn her son right side up.
I sat there for what seemed like an eternity watching them, namely her. Gods, she is beautiful. My heart swells at the fact that she is here with me. I had wanted her for so long and now she was here on the beach with me. I shook my head to clear my mind and saw her leaving the children in the shallow water as she walked up the sand to where I am sitting. Her body is amazing. I watch the droplets of water bead and roll down her skin. I find one that catches my eye; it is slowly making a trail over her collarbone, down past the top of her breast and disappearing into the valley hidden beneath the fabric of her suit. I wanted to follow it, kiss everywhere that one drop of water had gone. I lick my lips and stare into her brown eyes.
Nothing is said as she smiles seductively at me and leans forward to kiss me. I close my eyes, anticipating the feel of her lips on mine, but instead of kissing me, she says my name. I open my eyes to look at her, and instead of seeing the beautiful woman I love, I am staring at my ceiling. Here I am again. Dreaming of her. Hermione. I look down and see the results of said dream and groan at the deception of the lower half of my body. I absently start to reach for my erection and am brought out of my meanderings by a soft voice and a knock on my flat door.
"Harry?"
I know that voice. I love that voice. Hermione.
Another knock. "Harry, are you home?"
I yell back that it will be just a minute. I put my dressing gown over my mostly naked body and adjust the boxers and robe to hide any indication of the hard-on I have yet to relieve. I quickly pad to the door, let down the wards and open it. She is sitting on the ground with her head in her hands. I can see her shoulders shaking and I bend down to lift her into the flat.
She looks so weak, so sad. I lift her into my arms and she buries her tear-streaked face in my shoulder. I would give anything in this world to take away her pain, to kiss her and hold her for the rest of my life. I know what happened. It happens all the time. She and Ron fight, she walks out and comes to me for comfort and advice. She always goes back, but something is different this time. Usually she is talking by now, ranting at how much of an ass my best friend is. But tonight she is silent, clinging to me as if she were drowning.
I set her down gently on the couch and go to make some tea. She always wants tea, Earl Grey with a touch of honey and cream. I make it just to her liking, and carry the tray out into the living room. She is sitting on the couch staring into a fire that she must have started. I look at her closely, like I always do. Her eyes are red and puffy, her hair is disheveled, and her lips are swollen. She is beautiful, even in such disarray. She is the most beautiful creature I have ever seen.
I sit down beside her and she immediately envelops me in her arms. Her sobs are breaking my heart. She is still not saying anything. I gently run my fingers through her tangled hair. "Mione? What happened?" I ask softly.
Her voice is so quiet I have to strain to hear it as she talks into my chest. "Ron and I had a fight," she mumbles almost coherently. My heart breaks a little more at the sound of her voice.
"What happened? Everything seemed fine at the party."
She raised herself up from me and I shivered at the loss of her warmth. That's when I looked down and realized I was still only in a dressing gown and boxers, my previous 'problem' almost gone. If she noticed, she didn't say anything. I look at her and see her brown eyes shiny with tears. "Harry, am I pretty?" she asked humbly.
"Oh, Mione, you are beautiful. Why?" I just want to kiss away every single tear from her face. I want to rip my so-called best friend into a million shreds like he has done to her.
She sits up, focusing on her clenched hands in her lap, nervously fumbling with a tissue. "Well, Ginny and Draco came by after the party and Draco pulled me aside. He told me that while you and I were dancing, Ron had snuck off periodically with one of my ex-friends." She said the last word with a bit more than disgust. She looked up at me and saw the sympathy in my eyes. She also seemed to read the unasked question. "It was Lavender. I always wondered what was keeping him so late at work all the time. Tonight answered that question."
I stayed quiet, letting her explain everything. I secretly hoped that Ron was cheating on her, because then it would be my turn to come in and pick up the pieces. "You know how Ron has been working late for the past few months?" I nod. "I barely see him. The kids miss him. Well, Lavender is his boss' secretary. I asked him if he was seeing her and he blew up." Her tears had started to subside and her voice seemed steadier. I grasped her hand and squeezed it reassuring her.
"Harry, he's been sleeping with her. I know he has. He hasn't admitted it yet, but I know. He's always making excuses about being called into work at weird hours. He's even tried using you as an excuse sometimes. Little does he know that on those nights you seem to know that something is wrong and call by floo to check on me." I smiled at her even though my blood was boiling underneath. How dare he? How dare he use me as an excuse for his extramarital liaisons? When I get a hold of him, he will regret ever meeting me.
Hermione's voice breaks me out of my planning Ron's demise. "Harry, he hasn't touched me in six months. Am I that disgusting that he has to go to Lavender, 'the Hogwarts whore,' instead of being with me?"
Now I really want to kill Ron. How can he make such a beautiful, intelligent woman, doubt herself because of his infidelity? "Hermione, love. You are beautiful, exquisite. Ron is the biggest prat I have ever met. He is beyond stupid. I can't explain his actions, nor do I condone them. Hermione, you make most men turn their heads to watch you walk past them. You are the most intelligent and beautiful woman I have ever known. Ron is blind not to see that," I tell her soothingly as I wrap my arms around her, pulling her close. I hate him. He will pay.
She becomes shy all of a sudden and looks sheepishly at me. "You're just saying that to make me feel better."
Oh, how I wish I could tell her everything. I want to take her away from this. She deserves so much better. I'm not even sure if I'm good enough for her, but she needs to understand that Ron is Ron and the rest of the world doesn't see things the same as he does. I gently pull her away from me to make sure she can see the intensity in my eyes. I want her to understand. "Hermione, you know I would never lie to you. You are beautiful. You always are to me."
Oh shit, did I just say that out loud? Damn it. Sometimes I wish my mind and mouth would communicate more so that my mouth wouldn't decide to throw a coup in the most inopportune times. She heard it. I know she heard it. She's got that look in her eye. The one that says 'Harry James Potter, what the hell are you talking about?' I don't say anything, because I know my mouth will rebel again. We sit in silence staring at each other for quite a few excruciating moments. I look away from her. I can't look at her anymore. I want to kiss her so badly. Kiss her and make everything better. It would be so simple wouldn't it?
"Why can't Ron be more like you, Harry?" What did she just say? I look back at her, disbelieving. Did she really just say what I think she said? She gives me a weird look. "What? I just mean that you are going to make some woman very happy someday?"
"I hope so," I say under my breath, silently cursing my mouth for getting away from me again. When did my veins become so prominent on my hand? My hands are becoming more and more interesting as I fear where this conversation is now heading. She doesn't want to feel sorry for herself anymore, so it's my turn.
"Harry, you're my best friend. You can tell me anything." She lifts my chin so that I am looking at her again. What is it with her and eye contact? My heart is racing as I start to get lost in those brown pools. I nod at her absently, remembering that she was trying to come to an understanding with me.
"Harry, why haven't you settled down?" Not the question I want to answer at this moment. Please God get me out of here. "The last girlfriend you had was Ginny and that was seven years ago. What's holding you back? You're not hiding something from me are you?" I look at her wondering what on earth could I be hiding from her that would explain this conversation, other than I am madly in love with her and want to sweep her into my arms and do all sorts of unmentionable things to her. "You're not, you know… batting for the other team are you?"
Batting for the other team? What the hel… "Oh, no. Hermione, I still like women. I swear." Great, she thinks I'm gay. How can I win her over, when after all we've been through, she thinks I'm gay?
"Well then, there's got to be something or maybe someone that is keeping you from dating. C'mon, tell me." Her eyes are bright and curious. The argument with Ron and the previous tears, all but forgotten. She wants to torment me, make me spill my guts. I curse my mind and my heart, which are struggling to make my mouth obey one of them. My mind says to keep it quiet, my heart wants me to confess, tell her everything. Merlin help me.
"I am in love with someone." Damn my bloody mouth. Of course it would listen to my heart, its been trying to disconnect itself from my brain most of the night anyway, why not ruin my life some more.
She's giddy now. I feel like I should be wearing PJs with my hair in pigtails gossiping about boys and first kisses and such. How did I get myself caught in this? "Tell me! C'mon Harry, who is she? Do I know her?"
"Yes, you know her." I am going to cut my lips off and sew my mouth shut.
"Who is she?" Her eyes are sparkling. Why? Why do they have to sparkle now?
"I can't tell you that." OK, my mouth is starting to listen to reason. Lets see if I can bribe it a bit with some ice cream or something, just so it will keep quiet.
"How long have you known her? Did she go to Hogwarts with us?"
Curiosity killed the cat, Hermione. Please, don't do this. "I've known her almost as long as I've known Ron." Good answer. That could mean almost anyone we went to school with.
"Does she know?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"I can't tell her." Keep the answers short. This might work.
"Why not?"
"She's married." Damn it. I spoke too soon. I can flub this up yet.
"Oh. I still think she should know, Harry."
I can't look at her. If I look at her I swear I'll break down and tell her everything. She would be a great interrogator. They need people like her in Scotland Yard. "What would it change? She's married."
"Well, you are so in love with her that you have stopped dating. You must compare all your dates to her and just can't find anyone who can compete. You don't want to date unless it's with her. Maybe if you tell her, it will help you move on."
"I doubt that." My mouth escapes once more.
"Harry, she deserves to know. Any woman that has captured your heart in such a way, deserves to know. You need to tell her, even if it is just to ease your own mind." She sounds so sweet. If it were only that easy.
"If I tell her, I would lose her. I would hurt her and her husband. I don't want to do that." My heart is breaking with every word I say. I get up from the couch and pace. This is the only way that I can think. How can I get out of this? What can I say to stop her?
"I know that if someone loved me like that and told me, I would leave Ron in a heartbeat." She sounds so cheery, I know that is what I wanted to hear, but now it just sound so… wrong.
"I don't want to be the reason anyone leaves their husband. I don't know how she feels, and I'm afraid to know." Please, anyone listening, please help me. What do I do?
"What if she feels the same?"
"What if she doesn't?"
"Harry, you have to tell her. She needs to know. Is her marriage bad?"
"Not necessarily."
"Then, what are you scared of?"
"Everything." God, I can't even think anymore. What does she want, my blood?
"Harry, here's the phone, call her. Floo her. Tell her." She has the telephone in her hand, shoving it toward me. God, why can't she just let it go? I've lived ten years like this, I can go a while longer.
"No, Mione, I can't call her. I can't Floo her. I can't tell her!"
"Harry, stop being so stubborn. You may be denying a woman a chance at happiness. She may be miserable for all you know. Call her." She's shoving that damned phone in my face again.
"NO! I can't."
"Why not?"
"Because she's right in front of me." Oh Fuck! I am definitely cutting my lips off now. I will never speak again. My mouth is going to be sewn shut at my earliest convenience. Oh God, she's looking at me now. The only sound I hear is my heart beating out of my chest. I can't believe I said it. I can't look at her. I can't. I turn around to stare into the fire.
A few moments pass and I suddenly feel her hand on my shoulder. Oh God. "H-Harry, y-you l-love me?" I grit my teeth and closed my eyes. I can't stand this pain. I nod slowly as the tears escape my eyes. She slowly comes to the front of me, urging me to look at her. It takes me a few moments, but I open my eyes and see her brown eyes full of tears staring right back at me.
I'm not sure how it happened but suddenly her lips are on mine, sweet and hungry at the same time. I can't help but react. My hands explore her face and hair as hers journey over my back and down. Holy shit, Hermione's hands are on my ass! Oh God, how do I stop this? This is so wrong. She is married to my prat of a best friend. Oh, this is so wrong. But God it feels so right.