Chapter 6
Oh God she feels so good. I am kissing Hermione. She is lying underneath me, in the middle of my hallway, and I am losing control. Oh, how did I let it get this far? I can't stop. I don't want to. The little mewling sounds coming from her aren't helping my resolve much either. And her hands keep doing these amazing things to my skin. I am on fire. I am alive for what seems like the second time in my life, last night's kiss being the first.
Her skin is so soft and smooth under my hands. Her lips are supple and intoxicating. I could kiss her for the rest of my life. I could get lost in her - the feel of her hands under my shirt on my skin, the taste of her lips and skin as I kiss her face, neck, shoulders… Gods I want to kiss every inch of her body. I can feel her breasts pressing against my chest through the terrycloth of her towel and I have to strain not to rip it off of her. I want to feel her, taste her, smell her.
God, I love her smell. I nuzzle her ear and inhale that delicious scent of flowers and spice - the same scent that lingers on my pillow on those mornings after she sleeps in my bed. When she and Ron are fighting. Ron. Oh shit. What am I doing?
I jump off of her and try to collect my thoughts. I can't be doing this. She's still married to Ron, albeit not for much longer, but still. I can't look at her. I can't see the look of confusion or disappointment or whatever she is feeling right now. My heart is breaking as I turn and walk solemnly into my room. I hear her enter as I sit on my bed and put my head in my hands.
"Harry?" Her voice sounds so soft, so torn.
"Oh, God, I'm sorry Hermione." I can feel the tears burning my eyes. I want so badly to hold her and continue kissing her, but I can't. Not yet.
I feel the bed shift as she sits beside me and takes my hand. Her hand is so small compared to mine - so fragile, even though, they sure weren't fragile a second ago. How can such small, soft hands create such a fire on one's skin? I feel her breath against my shoulder and she kisses it lightly before laying her head on it. "Please, don't apologize, Harry."
"Hermione…" What do I say? What am I apologizing for? "I shouldn't have taken advantage you like that."
"Taken advantage? Harry, are you serious?" She pulls away slightly and turns my head to look at her. "You were not taking advantage of me, Harry. If you were, would I have responded as I did?"
"But Hermione… Ron." I look at her like it is the most obvious reason in the world for us to stop.
"What about him?"
I can't believe she is this dense. "You are married to him. I can't do this. Not yet."
"Harry." I love the way my name sounds coming from her lips. "Ron and I are over. He is probably with Lavender as we speak."
I shake my head. She doesn't understand. I will not sully her name. I will not let her sink to Ron's level. I grasp her left hand and roll the gold band there around her finger. I look at her hoping she understands what I am trying to say. Her eyes meet mine and I am absorbed into them. She is hypnotizing. I shake my head to clear my mind and look back down at the ring between my fingers. "See, you're still married to him. I will not let you soil that. I know that he already did, but you are not him, and neither am I. I respect the meaning behind this band, and will not do anything to betray the vows you took. Hermione, I love you. I want you… more than anything. But I will wait. I have waited for thirteen years, I can wait until the divorce is final."
She smiles and chuckles slightly. "Harry, you are so cute." Cute!? I'm CUTE!? What the hell is that supposed to mean? She grasps my face between her hands and looks deeply into my eyes. I am lost. "This is why I love you. You respect the things that matter. You respect me." She kisses me again, lightly this time, but it is still powerful. I melt into her arms. I could hold her forever. Then I realize what she said.
"Hermione… you love me?"
"Yes, Harry. I love you. I have for a very long time, but you kept yourself distant for so long. By the time you would let me love you, it was too late, I was married to Ron." Her voice is the same as it was at Hogwarts when I would ask her a stupid question. I guess it was a stupid question wasn't it?
"What do we do now?" Yet another stupid question.
She shrugs, smiles and stands up. I watch her lovely form walk away from me to pick up the clothes that she dropped in the hall when I knocked her over. She walks back into the room. With the light from the hall illuminating her from behind, she looks like an angel - an angel in a towel. I blush at the vision I saw as she stepped out of the tub. I know what that towel hides. I must be smirking devilishly at that thought, because she stops and looks at me quizzically.
"Harry, what are you thinking about?" I blush a deeper red. Does she know that I saw her in the tub?
"N-Nothing," I answer sheepishly. She shakes her head in acquiescence, turns around and drops her towel. I am graced with the beauty of her backside naked in front of me. My trousers again become tighter and I growl in frustration, before I even realize it. "Gods woman! Are you trying to kill me?"
She laughs lightly as she looks over her shoulder at me as I throw myself backward on the bed, covering my eyes with my arm. Why is she doing this to me? Torture, that's what it is. Pure Torture.
"Oh, Harry stop. It's not like you haven't seen it before," I sit up and look at her. She knows. She is mostly dressed already. She turns to me as she buttons the rest of her top. "Did you enjoy the show?" I know my eyes have got to be popping out of my head. She caught me, but she's not mad. "I take that as a yes," she whispers seductively in my ear. I try to reach for her, but she's already to the door before I come out of my hormonal stupor enough for my arms to function. How does she do that?
I sit there on my bed and think. I daydream of what it would be like once I am free to love her. I can see us sitting in front of the fireplace cuddling together with a book. Yes, I actually like to read. When you have Hermione as a best friend, you end up actually liking to read, at least after you're out of school. I think that's what kept me sane for so long as I secretly pined after her. With a book in my hand, I felt closer to her somehow. I wonder what she would think about that revelation.
I go back to my daydreaming and reminisce about a few moments ago when she was in my arms, underneath me, caressing me. I sigh deeply at this train of thought. Oh, to be able to make love to her. I want to show her how a woman should be loved. I want to show her how much I love her. I am brought back to the real world when she pops her head back into the room.
"Oi, Harry, are you all right?" I nod dumbly. "Well, I need to go get some things from the house, that I forgot. I will be back in a minute." She starts out the door, but I stop her.
"Hermione?"
"Yes, Harry?"
"Would you have dinner with me tonight?" My voice is shaky and breaks. I feel like I'm going through puberty again.
"Are you asking me on a date, Mr. Potter?" An inquisitive eyebrow shoots up above her brown eyes.
"Yes, I am Ms. Weasley."
"Granger." She smiles brightly at me.
"Yes, I am Ms. Granger." I smile back.
"I would love to Harry." With a wink she is gone, and I am left giddy as a schoolboy. I am going on a date with Hermione. I love her and she loves me. I lie back on the bed and lose myself in my thoughts again. Tonight, I will give her the night of her life. After a few minutes I get up and apparate to Diagon Alley for all the essentials - flowers, reservations, wine. Nothing is too good for Hermione.
*
The house is empty. Quiet. I take a good look around one last time at my 'home.' Ron bought this house for our first wedding anniversary. I liked it mainly because it meant that we were moving out of the Burrow. I was pregnant with Arthur then. I remember Ron, Harry and the twins moving all the furniture in by muggle means. I was put on bed rest and excessive amounts of magic around me were not a good thing. I laughed so hard at them trying to figure out how to get the sofa in through the front door. It was like watching the 'Three Stooges' plus one. Harry always stood out. He was the odd ball, the short one, the dark haired one. He was just Harry.
I smile as I venture into my room to gather my belongings. A quick wave of my wand and all my things are packed into a box and shrunk down to fit in my pocket. I look around at the room Ron and I shared. This was my sanctuary, along with the study downstairs, but this is where I could just be me. I would curl up with the kids in here and read to them. They would come in if they had a bad dream or if Ron didn't come home, so that I didn't feel lonely.
I need to figure out how we are going to tell the kids. I hope that they will take it well. Arthur has a temper like Ron and Ginny put together, so it might get messy. As long as we are straightforward with them, they'll understand. Won't they?
As I start down the steps to leave, I hear the front door open. I look and see Ron walking in with a piece of parchment in his hand. He jumps when he sees me. "Oh, Mione. I didn't know you were here."
"I was just getting a few things." His eyes drop to the floor.
"I'm sorry again, Hermione."
I step up to him and wrap my arms around him. "Ron, it's better this way."
He nods and looks at me. "I guess you're right." He looks down at the parchment in his hand and then gives it to me. I look at him curiously. "It's the papers."
"Oh." I say as I quickly read them over. One of the benefits of a wizard divorce is that there is no waiting game. The papers are signed and filed, then its done. That's it. Ron has given me full custody of the children with visitation rights for him every other weekend. I'll probably let him see them more than that, if he wishes. He keeps the house. I have no problem with that, like I said before, I never really liked it. He is offering monetary support for the children and me. I look at him confused.
"I know that money doesn't matter, but I just figured you could put it in an account so that Hogwarts is paid for." I smile at him and continue reading the document.
"Everything looks all right." I say sheepishly. "Ron, are you all right?" His face is pale and he is very solemn and quiet.
"It's just weird. I won't ever wake up next to you again. I won't come home and find you in the kitchen cooking, singing at the top of your lungs. I won't have you nagging me about the toilet paper rolls." He looks up at me and I see small tears struggling to escape his blue eyes. "I'll miss you Hermione."
"Oh, Ron." I can't help the tears trailing down my own cheeks. "I'll miss you too, but like we said before - we're best friends, we always will be. Right?"
He nods as he hands me a quill. I quickly sign my name. This is painful. I was so ready for this, why does it still hurt so bad? I watch as Ron signs his name in his distinct scrawl. A moment later the signatures glow red and the parchment disappears, along with the gold bands on my left ring fingers. This is just too surreal.
Ron looks at me lovingly and kisses me softly on the lips. "I love you, Mione. I'm sorry."
"I love you too, Ron. I'm sorry too."
The look of confusion on his face is classic. If it were any other situation I would probably be laughing my rear off. "I'm sorry, I couldn't make you happy."
He looked shocked, "Hermione…" I hush him with a small chaste kiss.
"Ron, let's not linger on 'what if's and 'what was's. We just weren't right for each other. I don't regret it at all. You gave me two beautiful children. We just couldn't make it beyond friends."
"How do you always make everything sound logical?"
I smiled at him and hugged him tightly. "You wouldn't have me any other way."
He laughed. It was the first smile I had seen since he walked back in the house. I always loved his smile. I give him another kiss, this time on the cheek. "Goodbye, Ron."
"Bye, Mione." He kissed me back and with a pop I disapparated back to 12 Grimmauld Place and Harry. I won't let him know yet. Lets see if he notices tonight at dinner that my ring is missing. I can't wait until tonight. I hope we can finish what we started in the hallway. My mind wanders to all the dirty things I want to do to him.
A large part of me is excited about the idea of me and Harry but there is this little lingering feeling that I am betraying Ron in some way. I guess that is normal if you have any kind of conscience. I just have to get over it and tonight's dinner with Harry is just the first step.