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Hopelessly Addicted
Chapter 1
"I'm No Angel"
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Try to control me, boy, you get dismissed
Pay my own fun, oh and I pay my own bills - always 50/50 in relationships (…)
Tell me how you feel about this: I do what I want if I wanna live
I worked hard and sacrificed to get what I get
Ladies, it ain't easy being independent…
Destiny's Child, "Independent Women"
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Five fifty-nine.
Five fifty-nine and fifteen seconds.
Five fifty-nine and thirty seconds.
Five fifty-nine and forty-five seconds.
Six o'clock.
The alarm clock started ringing loudly.
Lily's arm instantly shot up to stop the annoying sound. She hated alarm clocks, and this particular chime usually made her wake up in a bad mood.
She had always abhorred getting up early, but years of waking up at six o'clock every single day (and sometimes even earlier than that) had made her get used to it. However, a rigid discipline had been crucial: she hadn't slept in on any weekends or holidays. Lily had established an inflexible routine soon after leaving Hogwarts, and was proud to say she had never given in to idleness or lethargy.
Lily inhaled sharply and sat up, reaching automatically for her wand and robes.
"Alain," she called gently. "Il est déjà six heures. Lève-toi!"
The man beside her mumbled something incomprehensible. Lily got up and buttoned her robes, peeking outside. There were plenty of grey clouds in the sky; it was certainly going to rain. Well, no surprises there; the weather had been rainy for over a month now.
Lily hated Paris in this weather; the city seemed gloomy and empty. Well, thankfully she wasn't going to stay there today; she had a job interview in London. Not that London was much better at this time of the year. In fact, it was even worse.
Being away from England for the last two years hadn't made her especially homesick. Lily sure hadn't forgotten how little she liked the London climate! She'd endured it during the four years of Healer and Auror training, but she'd had enough. Unfortunately, she didn't like Paris' weather that much, either.
"Réveille-toi!" Lily repeated more loudly, even though she knew it was pointless.
Somehow, she had managed to find a boyfriend who disliked getting up early even more than she ever had. Alain was a great Auror, but he hardly ever got to work on time. Other than that, however, he was highly efficient and respected.
She loved living alone, and had refused to give up on her independence for him. They had been dating for almost two years, but she hadn't accepted Alain's offer to move in. After all, Lily wasn't even sure if she really loved him.
Well, it was certainly good to be in a relationship where his feelings were deeper and more intense than hers. It hadn't taken Lily long to find someone who had fallen deeply in love with her… Soon it had become a very comfortable situation. Whenever Alain said "I love you", her answer was always "Me too." But she absolutely sure he had never realised that it meant she didn't love him.
She wasn't sure she didn't love him, either. All she knew was that whatever she felt now was very different from what she had felt for James Potter. That had been… love? Passion? Probably both. But the experience hadn't been a pleasant one. It had hurt way too much, making Lily hope never to fall in love again. Sure, it felt great at the time, but… It just wasn't worth all the pain.
Lily hadn't seen James since graduation; the last time she'd heard from him was during Auror training, even though she hadn't met him. At the time, he had just gotten top marks on Concealment and Disguise, with a special bonus due to a perfect transfiguration of himself into a stag. The memory made Lily smirk. That probably hadn't been a very difficult thing to do.
Had Sirius thought of transforming himself into a dog, too? It was likely. She hadn't met any of the Marauders since leaving London, but she had received letters from Sirius and Remus on her birthday and at Christmas every year since.
Lily didn't really miss them all that much; to be around any of the Marauders necessarily meant running into James sooner or later.
Suddenly, Lily frowned.
Why was she thinking about him this much?
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You're scared that somebody somewhere's gonna find the burst pipe
And as fast as they bow down they'll leave you behind
But baby, be brave, 'cause what's the point of it all?
What's the point of it all, yeah?
Baby, don't blow it - tell me what's it all for
If you're not terrified to fail - are you terrified to fail?
The Corrs, "Baby Be Brave"
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Well, she was going to the Ministry of Magic in London, so maybe she'd be able to pass by and say hello to Remus. He wasn't an Auror, but she was certainly going to visit him soon after the interview. Sirius had been the Auror assigned to take her to London; they were supposed to meet at seven thirty.
The only British friend to whom Lily still wrote with some regularity was Leylann. They had been roommates during Healer training, and had become close friends, but Lily hadn't visited her since moving to Paris.
Why had the Ministry decided to call Lily back after all this time? It hadn't been easy to obtain permission to work in France, but Lily had thought that Dumbledore's influence would keep her there for a while - he was the one who had arranged everything, after all.
Lily checked her watch. Ten past six. She would have plenty of time to go home, eat, and still check on things at the Ministry.
With a small pop, she Apparated to her living room.
Lily's house was very organised and symmetric. The living room was beige; all the furniture was pastel, with an occasional touch of colour here and there. Every once in a while Lily got bored of the decor and changed a few things around - she'd done it just yesterday, actually.
Inheriting this spacious apartment from her grandmother had been the catalyst for moving to France in first place, after all. Well, that and her messy break-up - 'break-ups' was probably more accurate - with James.
And certainly that was enough thinking about James for a single day. Especially considering she hadn't thought of him in weeks - months, actually.
In truth, Lily couldn't even remember the last time she'd thought about him. She had entered Healer training just to avoid James, so she'd certainly thought a lot about him then -
Oh, honestly, who was she trying to kid? Herself? She'd thought a lot about James during Healer training because she had still been in love with him back then!
She'd entered Auror training one year later, and for three years had had to manage both trainings… It had been tough; Lily had barely had time to breathe, but it had been worth it. She had graduated with honours from both courses. Multitasking had been Lily's speciality since then.
Lily had a quick shower and went to her desk. She wanted to get a lot of things done before seven o'clock; she wouldn't have too much time at the office today, since her interview was at eight o'clock.
She outlined the strategy for five missions, wrote her report on three others and examined some of the latest intel they'd received, recommending the creation of two specific taskforces.
Lily was not only a field Auror, but also Head of Strategy. Well, if London wanted her back home, they would surely have to send a replacement. With all due respect, none of her French colleagues had the training or capacity for the multitasking she considered routine. Nor, she admitted smugly, had the other British Aurors working with them in Paris.
Lily stood up and grabbed her purse. She still had time to pass by a café to have breakfast before going to work - there was a great Muggle place not too far away from her place.
How would Lily handle being just 'one more' in the Auror group, not special or indispensable in any way? It would be tough… Very hard on her pride, that was for sure.
How hard… well, that depended on the team with which she'd work. It probably wouldn't be too hard if she already knew some of the Aurors -
A startling, somewhat alarming thought suddenly entered her mind: what if they asked her to work with James?
Well, he wasn't her weakness anymore. A long time had passed since then - Lily was undoubtedly over him… But that didn't mean she wanted to work with him.
Lily considered the possibility for a few seconds and shook her head.
No, she definitely couldn't work with James. It would be… weird. Awkward, too. And, above all, very irritating. They'd probably argue just like they had during their first six Hogwarts years: constantly, fiercely and dramatically. No, that was definitely the last thing she needed in her work environment.
But surely there were plenty of other Auror teams with whom she could work… If anyone would have her, that is.
The British Auror training was undisputedly the best in the world, and London probably had dozens of Aurors even better than she. Lily surely wouldn't be able to compete with them… would she?
Well, it would truly be a challenge. And Lily loved challenges.
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I was always thinking of games that I was playing
Trying to make the best of my time
But only love can break your heart
Try to be sure right from the start
Yes, only love can break your heart
What if your world should fall apart?
The Corrs, "Only Love Can Break Your Heart"
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Lily poured some coffee in her mug and sat down, mindlessly eating some toast, her mind miles away. London… She certainly had never thought she'd go back there so soon. And to work at the Ministry… She was getting to like the idea less and less every minute.
During Auror training she'd heard several woeful tales of how badly organised the British Ministry was. She'd even seen it for herself while waiting for the authorization to move to Paris.
Auror headquarters were tiny, disorganised, and crowded. Of course, all the Aurors were great - Lily remembered a few, like Alastor Moody, had made quite an impression on her at the time. But, in truth, she hadn't worked there long enough to pronounce a fair judgement.
But she would do it today. Today, she would have to make the decision.
Did she really want to start working in London? Was it really worth it? The pay was virtually the same, it was much more dangerous, and she would have to go through all the trouble of moving…
Well, she could stay in France and Apparate to London everyday. She already had friends and an apartment in Paris. Oh, yeah, and Alain. He hadn't seemed very fond of the idea of her working in London, but they hadn't discussed the matter properly yet.
Suddenly, the soft sound of wind chimes reached her ears and she looked up. Her best friend, Valerie, had just entered the coffeehouse.
She asked the waiter for a cup of coffee and sat down beside Lily.
"Good morning," said Valerie, grinning.
Having to talk to Valerie in English annoyed Lily a bit. She spoke French fluently, and would certainly prefer not to be someone with whom people wanted to 'practice English'. But then again, she'd already gotten used to it. Valerie was the only person with whom Lily still talked in English - and only every once in a while.
"Morning!"
"So, are you going to London today?"
"Yes, I am."
"Good luck with the interview."
"Thank you."
"Everybody knows you there; they'll certainly give you the job."
"Well, I didn't apply, they invited me. I don't even know if it's a field or an office job… I guess I'll have to wait to find out."
"Are all the British Aurors as good as you are? I mean, they learned you everything in London…"
Lily laughed. "Taught - yes, they taught me everything there. It's quite hard to finish the Auror training and even harder to be successful working in the British Ministry. So I guess most of the Aurors there are a lot better than me, since the standards here are not that hard to live up to. I'm probably out of shape."
"Rubbish! You're one of the best Aurors in the world, there's no need to be modest. I'll miss you…" Valerie whined, frowning. She then switched to French, complaining, "Why can't you just stay here? You've always said you liked Paris!"
'It's funny,' Lily thought, amused. 'French people always prefer nagging in their native tongue.'
"I haven't even decided if I'll move to London or not!" she replied, also in French. "It depends on the job, and above all it depends on whom I'll be working with."
"But -"
"How was the date with Bernard?" Lily interrupted her quickly.
London forgotten, Valerie grinned dreamily. "It was… perfect. He's just…" she sighed. "Do you remember how it felt to fall in love for the first time?"
Lily made a face. Thinking of James nowadays didn't make her feel giddy, not at all. But she remembered how wonderful it had felt at the time. "Yes, of course."
Of course she remembered. Even though she barely thought about James anymore, it was impossible to forget about him entirely. She'd spent all her school years either fighting him or snogging him…
And that was definitely enough thinking about James for today.
"Yesterday was even better. It was… like I'd never been in love before! I'm completely lovesick. He was nice, sweet and, needless to say, extremely hot."
They laughed.
"I told you you'd like him."
"Eh bien, you were right. So, what time are you leaving for London?"
English again. Boy, why couldn't Valerie stick to one language per conversation?
"Soon," Lily replied in her native tongue. "I'm just going to pass by the office to check on things."
"Do you want some company?"
"Sure."
They finished drinking their coffee and left. It wasn't raining, so the five-minute walk to work was a pleasant one.
"Charles arrived this morning," Valerie breathed out.
Lily stopped walking and turned to look at her friend, surprised. Charles was a fellow Auror and Valerie's ex-boyfriend, with whom Lily believed Valerie was still in love. They had broken up shortly before he'd left on an especially dangerous mission. Valerie had been worried sick in the past few weeks, seriously considering reconciliation... Now he'd finally arrived, but Bernard had entered the picture.
"So?"
"J'ai pas - it wasn't like - oh, he was great, but I think - j'suis pas sûre, that's all. J'ai besoin de temps... Oh, I really have to think about this."
Lily shook her head. She knew Valerie would end up choosing Charles.
Bernard was a great guy, but Charles and Valerie were meant to be - a perfect match. That had been, in her opinion, the reason why they'd broken up: they were way too much alike.
Very similar, actually, to -
'Oh, shut up. Honestly. James has probably moved on since then, and so have I. We weren't meant to be. Unlike Charles and Valerie.'
The only true problem with the couple was that he didn't want to get married, and Valerie dreamt of a magnificent wedding, with flowers everywhere and a long, white dress…
"I think you should listen to your heart, Valerie. But also consider you should try to avoid hurting yourself as much as possible."
Valerie looked at Lily, puzzled. That was a rather odd comment - especially considering the addressee was someone who firmly believed love was all about taking risks. And Lily knew very well that was how Valerie felt.
"I'll think about it overnight. Oh, here we are."
They had arrived at a two-story business building with a lopsided sign announcing it was for sale. Without hesitation, they climbed the stairs leading to the entrance.
Inside, the hall was in ruins. It was incredibly dusty, with dumps and broken pieces of wood everywhere. The sight always made Lily grin - and the horrible smell usually made her frown immediately after.
She blinked. Instantly, the room changed to reveal the well-organised reception of the French Ministry of Magic. Three receptionists sat behind a desk, handing badges to the many visitors.
Beside them, six Aurors watched all the incomers with very nasty facial expressions - they all abhorred the days they were assigned to do security routine, holding their wands at all times, always ready to take action.
Valerie got her badge and entered the building, but Lily approached the Aurors.
"Good morning, Chief," Will Ryder greeted in English, grinning. He was a British Auror, like her.
But Will had married a French girl, so his status was more or less permanent. Unlike Lily, who today would have to go back to that horrid place and work with people who'd humiliate her, people she probably wouldn't even like…
"Good morning," she greeted them all in French. Lily avoided speaking English at work, lest some of the Aurors should think she was passing judgment on them. "How's it going?"
They all muttered their responses. A few of them had crushes on Lily, and so they usually avoided looking her in the eye. Will didn't, so he was the first one to gather the courage to tell her the bad news.
"Everything's fine, except that… well, a Muggle foreigner's just left."
"Really?"
The Auror stared at her, puzzled. Why wasn't she worried? Everybody got worried when a Muggle managed to enter wizard-only areas. That usually meant that many more would follow, and there was a serious security breach.
"We don't know yet how he managed to -"
Lily sighed wearily. "What was his name?"
He hesitated for a moment. "Paddy Proudfoot, if I'm not mistaken."
"His real name is Sirius Black." She smiled and shook her head. "He's a wizard who loves to play pranks like that. Don't worry."
Everybody laughed, relieved.
What kind of crazy wizard would plan such a practical joke? Sirius Black would, of course. But in Paris, no one knew the Marauders or their fame… Another advantage of being in France.
"Thanks, Chief. We would've taken a while to track him down… We Obliviated him, though," remarked Will, grinning.
"He's used to it," Lily replied with an indulgent smile. "I was informed last night about his coming here; I was going to tell you guys today anyway. He's here to take me to England."
"Now that you've mentioned him, I think I remember him…"
"He loves doing that kind of things to people. He should be back -"
Sirius Apparated behind her at that very second. Lily turned when she heard the popping noise and surveyed him with interest. Sirius had barely changed… he was still incredibly charming, with that irresistibly roguish look about him. Oh boy, she sure hoped Valerie would never set eyes on him.
"Lilikins!" he exclaimed. "I don't speak a word of the language here, so I'm afraid your colleagues mistook me for a Muggle. They Obliviated me, though."
She grinned. "Yes, I'm sure it was their mistake, even though one of them is British. And I'm confident you used a Shielding Charm."
"Obviously. Well, I knew you were going to tell them anyway. How are you? Are you ready to go?"
"I'm fine, and no, I'm not ready," she replied soberly, and then turned to face the other Aurors. "Goodbye."
Lily turned around and entered the building, Sirius in tow. She quickly descended the stairs leading to the local Auror Headquarters. Unlike the British ones, these were big, and very organized.
Lily led Sirius to her office, visibly much bigger than all the other ones.
"Wow, nice office."
"Thanks."
It was very similar to her living room, with the same pastel tones colouring the walls and furniture, except that there were quite a few corkboards on the walls, with several maps, pictures and documents pinned on them.
Lily sat behind her glass table, gesturing for Sirius to do so as well.
"How's life, Lily?"
"Fine, never better. What about you?"
Sirius sat down. "I'm great."
"Remus?"
"Great too. Except that tomorrow night is full moon, so he's not that great."
"Peter?"
"Working with Magical Maintenance. I honestly don't have a clue how Dumbledore managed to get him that position… Last time they put him in charge of the windows, we had to watch some Muggle TV series for two whole days before someone managed to change it."
Lily grinned.
The silence that followed was heavy. She knew Sirius was waiting for her to ask about James… And that, she was sure, was how he would know if she had truly moved on. Lily couldn't risk Sirius thinking she wasn't over James. Not that she wasn't… She was, of course she was!
"What about -" she started.
Sirius interrupted her. "He's fine, too. Working a lot. He's Chief Auror now, Head of Strategy or something like that. Got his own team and everything."
"Good for him."
"And how did you manage to get this big office?"
"I'm one of the Chief Aurors here… Head of Strategy, actually."
Sirius grinned broadly for a split second, but regained his neutral facial expression quickly. Not quickly enough for Lily to miss it, but she chose not to say anything.
"I don't suppose you can tell me why the Minister for Magic himself wants to talk to you, can you?"
Lily shook her head. "If no one's told you, Padfoot, I don't think I can."
"I see. Lil, what's with the accent?"
"What accent?"
Sirius grinned. "French. You're speaking English with a French accent."
"Oh, really? Well, I ended up not talking in English much in the past couple of years, so…" she shrugged. "I need to talk to some of the guys before I leave. I'll be back in ten minutes, okay?"
"Sure."
Lily stood up and left. After thirty seconds, she returned.
"Sirius, if you hex my office, I'll have you fired," she said, looking him in the eye sternly.
He grinned sheepishly and removed the dungbombs he'd placed under her desk.
She shook her head, smiling, and left the room.
Sirius would certainly never change.
'I hope James changed.'
Lily remembered very well that she used to think James was irresistible. Well, even if he hadn't changed, she most certainly had. Surely after all that self-control training, she'd be able to keep her impulses in check.
But what was she thinking? She wouldn't feel attracted to James! It was over! She was over him! Wasn't she?
"Of course I am," she muttered irritably. "Damn it, I'm not eighteen anymore."
Five Aurors turned to look at her. Thankfully, they were all French and didn't understand a word of English.
"I need to talk to you guys," she said in rapid French. "Call Jean and go to Valerie's office as soon as possible."
Sure, she wasn't eighteen anymore. But she was acting just like she had six years ago. That hadn't ended well…
This time nothing would happen. Her story would have a happy ending, she was sure of it.
Happily ever after…
No, life with James could never be properly summarized in such an uneventful cliché. So she would remain with Alain. After all, nobody needed passion to live happily ever after, right?
But what about love?
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If you gave me just a coin for every time we say goodbye
Well I'd be rich beyond my dreams; I'm sorry for my weary life (…)
I'm no angel, but does that mean I can't live my live?
I'm no angel, but please don't think that I can't cry
I'm no angel, but does that mean that I won't fly?
Dido, "I'm No Angel"
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Of course Lily could understand the advantage of having a qualified, Muggle-born witch in an undercover group of Aurors. She was even curious to meet those wizards who had resigned themselves to working without many magical facilities, sometimes even surrounded by Muggles. But she wasn't sure if she wanted to join them.
After all, Lily loved magic. She'd learned to depend on it! She wasn't even able to sleep unless her wand was within arm's reach.
But this group was quite interesting. They held the record for captured Dark wizards and rescued Muggles. Only the best Aurors were chosen to be part of it… And they'd called her, all the way from France, to join. Well, maybe she could manage to use only discreet spells in her daily work. It wouldn't be that hard. Maybe it'd really be worth it.
She surveyed the tall office building with curiosity. Dozens of Muggles entered and left constantly, most of them wearing suits. She entered and took the elevator to the top floor. The fact that several Muggle companies actually had their head offices there sparked her curiosity. It probably was a logistic nightmare, preventing attacks from the Death Eaters to the building…
But the secret was certainly well kept. Plus, it was likely that the office wasn't even truly there; maybe the entrance was a portal, or even just a Portkey. Or maybe not. The Minister had told her they had telephones, fax machines, TVs and all that… Surely such a large amount of Muggle machinery would make turning the place unplottable out of question.
Thankfully, she'd brought Muggle clothing - just in case she needed it for some reason. So she mingled perfectly; her baby blue tailleur didn't clash with the nicely formal clothes of all the Muggles around her.
When the doors slid open for the last time, Lily found herself standing in a very normal looking elevator hall with cream-coloured walls and a beige granite floor. The elevator left; she blinked several times, but nothing happened.
Oh, great. The Minister just happened to have forgotten to tell her how to get to the office. Well, it was useless to look around. The security here was top-notch, and they certainly didn't receive any unwanted visitors.
There was a small cracking noise, and she turned around.
A short, thin woman was standing beside her. She wore a long, mauve skirt, a loose turquoise blouse, and a very peculiar necklace: a thick silver chain with a large pentacle. Her curly red hair was partially braided, and she wore almost no makeup.
If she hadn't just Apparated, Lily could've easily mistaken her for some hippie-wannabe Muggle.
"Hi! Lily Evans, right?"
"Yeah," she said, not surprised. So they had been warned of her arrival… thank goodness. She would've hated to make a fool of herself by having to go back to the Ministry and ask someone for directions.
"Hi, I'm Dorcas Meadowes. I'm sorry the Minister didn't tell you how to get to the office, but he doesn't quite know how to, you see."
Lily grinned. That was interesting.
"Here, follow me."
Dorcas approached a painting on a nearby wall and tickled an orange.
That gesture was vaguely familiar… It took Lily a while to place it. But she had been thinking about the past a lot today, so it didn't take her as long as it probably would have the day before. Within seconds, the image of Sirius tickling the pear to enter the Hogwarts kitchens appeared before her mind's eye.
So the creator of the office had once attended Hogwarts… and had probably missed it, too. Actually, now that Lily thought about it, she realised she hadn't asked the Minister anything about the team itself. Maybe she would even find some of her old friends in there… Not James, thankfully. Sirius had told her he was Head of Strategy now; there was no way he would isolate himself inside that office all day long.
After tickling the painting, Dorcas walked to the door and waited. After a few seconds, a silver keyhole appeared under the normal one.
"We all have a key," she explained proudly. "If anybody else tries to enter… well, they're sent somewhere not very pleasant. And all visitors have to request access before Apparating. Whenever there's someone in here, the elevator locks itself automatically, too - we don't want to risk any Muggles seeing an Apparition by accident."
Lily was impressed. The system resembled slightly that of the lower security Gringotts vaults, but to set it up in a Muggle area had probably been incredibly hard.
"We work mostly with intel and strategy, but of course there's also plenty of field work. Right now, we're understaffed, and the workload is increasing significantly. I'm glad you came! Are you a strategist, too?"
Lily nodded. However, Dorcas' attitude of considering her already part of the team was starting to bother her a bit. After all, she hadn't even made her decision yet!
Dorcas opened the door, revealing a huge, well-lit room with a desk, several glass doors. and an aluminium staircase. It had a rather clean, sharp look about it, and Lily instantly decided she loved the decor. It just kept getting better! She certainly could've gotten used to working there in a hurry.
"So… who works here?"
"Well, this one's my desk," Dorcas replied. "I do secretary work whenever I'm not on a mission - we have telephones and all that here. These," she pointed at the doors to the right, "are the private offices. Everybody has one, since there are so few of us. Well, except for the Chief. He stays upstairs."
"And who is -"
They were interrupted by the arrival of a tall, skinny woman wearing black wizard robes. She had, apparently, just gotten rid of Muggle clothes, and was - what were the odds? - also a redhead.
"Every second I have to spend wearing Muggle jeans is a torture! Why couldn't they just stick to the social pants, dresses and tailleurs? Those things are horrible!"
Dorcas shook her head. Apparently, this was a daily rant. "Lene, this is Lily Evans. Lily, meet Marlene McKinnon, our Potions specialist. She also knows a lot about Muggle electronics."
"Lily Evans? I think I remember you… You were Head Girl, right?"
Lily nodded.
"I was three years younger than you, a Ravenclaw."
"Oh, I remember you," Lily replied, grinning. Goodness, she was sure thinking a lot about the past today. "You were that girl who threw some Itching Potion on Severus Snape and confined him to the hospital wing for a couple of weeks!"
Marlene grinned smugly. "I was hoping I hadn't lived that down. The jerk sure deserved it."
Lily laughed. That girl probably got along well with Sirius… was she in the Order, too? Lily had meetings with Dumbledore every two weeks, but she didn't attend the normal Order gatherings. So she didn't know - she had never bothered to ask Dumbledore about the other members.
He had loved the idea of her working in London. In fact, Lily was almost sure he had a hand in her nomination to the job. Especially now that she'd found out the group had simply asked the Minister for a strategist.
"Lene's just left training… She's the youngest Auror here."
"Well, nice to see you again, Marlene."
"You too."
"As I was saying," continued Dorcas, "the doors to the right lead to our private offices. The doors to the left lead to the larger conference rooms."
"And the door at the end of the hallway," interrupted Marlene, "leads to the Auror Headquarters in the Ministry. We hardly ever use it; only the Chief has the key."
"And the staircase, like I said, leads to his office."
"And what's he like?"
Dorcas and Marlene sighed in an unmistakeable way, and Lily concluded immediately that they had crushes on him. And, if he didn't reject them, he didn't encourage them, either. It was probably good for him to have lovesick girls in his group: it helped maintain his undisputed authority. Lily knew how well that worked - she did it, too. More than half of her male Aurors had a crush on her.
"He's -"
"He's perfect," said Marlene, smiling languidly. "He's cute, smart, funny…"
Lily grinned, finding the situation quite amusing and getting even more curious about meeting this Chief Auror.
"And it's impossible not to fall for him once he saves your life… Do you have any idea what it feels like to be captured, tortured for days, and left starving? And then suddenly that wonderful man comes out of nowhere and picks you up, and…" she sighed again. "I'm pretty sure I'm in love with him."
Lily laughed. "Does he know that?"
Dorcas shook her head. "He probably does. But he's left it quite clear: he doesn't date co-workers. Doesn't mix work with pleasure… Unfortunately."
"So you two have crushes on him?"
"Oh, Amelia does, too," said Marlene nonchalantly. "Do you remember her? Her full name's Amelia Bones. She two years older than you, a Ravenclaw. She works with Runes, Astrology, Arithmancy and all that. She's the one who usually deals with our Muggle neighbours, too. She's divorced, and has an adorable two-year-old boy; his name is Gus, and he's the cutest thing! Anyway, she likes the Chief, too. Maybe not as much as we do, but she does."
"She says she doesn't, but she's obviously head over heels. Who does Lia think she's kidding with all that solicitude?"
"Does he always get here late?"
"Oh no, he's the first one to get here every day. But today he had a meeting with some of the other Aurors. He should be here any time now."
"And what's his name?"
The moment the words left Lily's lips, she heard footsteps behind her. The immediate change in the girls' facial expressions told her who had just arrived.
She turned around. And tried very, very hard not to gape.
Standing right there, staring at her like a ghost from the past was James Potter.
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Sometimes I feel like I've got to get away
One day you will see another side of me
My life I command - it's not the way that you planned
Leave me alone, leave me alone, out on my own, leave me alone
What do you want from me? Do you dream of a life, your life through me?
Myself, my time, in one we unite?
I don't ever want to be that girl you want me to be…
The Corrs, "Leave Me Alone"
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James looked good - hell, he looked even better than she remembered. Of course, it was impossible for her to mistake his identity: the messy hair, strong arms, broad shoulders…
Okay, she wasn't excessively sidetracked by his physical appearance, but his eyes… They had a sparkle she didn't recognise. He seemed more mature now, more sober, yet more untamed, somehow. Like… he had a reason to live now.
More determined - that was the word. Lily rather liked this new James.
No! No, she didn't. He had probably arranged for her to come; he'd wanted to lure her back to him…
Marlene didn't notice their shock and proceeded to the introduction.
"James, this is -"
"You're Chief Auror here?" Lily asked, still barely believing it. "You?"
Marlene turned to look at Lily. Did they already know each - oh! That's right, they'd gone to Hogwarts together!
"You're the girl the Minister called?"
James stared at Lily like he'd never seen her before. And he hadn't - not like this. 'Absence makes the heart grow fonder' had never seemed truer than right then.
Boy, she looked good. Even more beautiful than she used to be, if that were even possible. Of course, she was visibly angry - did she think he had arranged all this? He hadn't! He had had no idea whom the Ministry had called to fill the empty place in his group.
Though, now that he thought about it, he could've guessed: a Chief Auror in France with virtually the same skills he had plus Healer training? Naturally, that had to be Lily. Obviously. He just hadn't stopped to think about it.
"You -" Lily was about to start calling him names when she remembered, in an absurd urge of thoughtfulness, that he hated it when people insulted his mother. So she ended up finishing, rather lamely, with a mild "arsehole!"
To everyone's surprise, James grinned. "Good thing you remembered."
Dorcas and Marlene were looking from one to the other, not fully understanding what was going on.
"Well, James Potter, I don't know which part of 'I never want to see you again' you didn't understand. But if you need clarification, here it goes: I'm never going to work with you! If I can help it, I'll never look at your face again! I don't care which twisted plan of yours motivated -"
"I swear I had no idea! I asked the Minister to find someone, that's all," he said, and then looked pointedly into her eyes to stress his following words, "I even mentioned it to Dumbledore last time I saw him… I asked if he had any idea whom we could call."
Lily's eyes narrowed, but she found it hard not to believe him. Dumbledore had told her a few times that, even though she was useful in France, her potential would be much better explored if she returned to England. He had tried very hard to convince her to come back home… and now he'd asked the Ministry to call her, too. Damn him, damn him, damn him! He knew she would never, ever work with James; why had he put her there?
Oh, she would kill Dumbledore…
James could tell Lily's anger was slowly being redirected at Dumbledore. Her arrival had been a very pleasant surprise. In fact, James couldn't think of anyone better to complete his team… He was starting to get sick of all his girls worshipping the ground he walked on, even though he knew that it was good for the team's equilibrium. He knew very well that Lily would never be that indulgent.
"I'm not going to work here, James," she stated calmly.
"Why not?"
"I have a life in Paris," Lily replied, already getting irritated again. "I have a great job, friends, an apartment… I don't need to come to work somewhere more dangerous, go through all the trouble of moving -"
"But," James intervened smoothly, "you know very well that your working here would be better for everyone."
"Not for me!" she shrieked, clenching her fists, standing on the tip of her toes. "You all just forgot to think about me!"
"Don't bring me into this!" James exclaimed, aggravated. "I didn't plan this! And honestly, Lily, if you want to leave, just go!"
"I will!"
"Then leave! But just so you know… There's more to this than our little history together! Just because you don't want to work with me, it doesn't mean that you should not be somewhere where your talents would be better employed against Voldemort!"
Lily didn't flinch, unlike Marlene and Dorcas.
"What makes you think you know where I'll be of better service?"
James clenched his jaw, and didn't answer. Why couldn't Lily just admit that he was right? She had to stay! It was logic! Boy, he was mad. How come Lily still had that extraordinary ability to push his buttons so effectively, so quickly?
Lily was furious, too, but she could see he had a point. And of course she'd die before admitting it, too.
James chose to act like he hadn't heard her question. "Glad to see your proper British accent's back. It sounds much better than the French one."
Lily snorted. She hadn't noticed her recently acquired accent had disappeared, but that fact was obviously due to her change of environment. She only now realised there was someone else watching them: a medium-built brunette with a black suit had come from one of the meeting rooms.
"Er… James?" the girl called timidly. Obviously, she had been waiting for an opportunity to speak for some time now.
He looked at the newcomer.
"Yes, Amelia?"
"The Ministry's asking permission to add our fireplace to the Floo network temporarily… You know, so that the applicants can come here."
James sighed. "Yeah, okay."
Amelia left and James turned to look at Lily again. She had calmed down, and was scolding herself inwardly for losing her self-control like that.
"I assume your place is vacant, then," he said tiredly. "There are a few people who want to join, but none of them is really as qualified as you."
"What about Sirius?"
"He's very necessary in his team. Besides, he doesn't fit the profile; I need a strategist."
James looked at her pointedly, and she heard the unsaid rest of his sentence as well as if he'd spoken out loud: 'The last thing I need in my team is Sirius wreaking havoc.'
"I see."
"Come on, Lily -" James tried for the last time. "Can't you at least give it a shot?"
She shook her head. "I'm sorry, but I don't need… this all over again. You'll find another strategist. I'm sure the Ministry won't force me to work here. And if they try to, I'll quit. I just - I won't."
James nodded and looked at her sourly. How could she turn her back on this opportunity? It would be so much better for everyone if she stayed! Her potential wasn't being fully explored in France - she needed to come back.
"Bye, then," she said quietly, turning to leave.
"Bye."
"Hi!" cried a shrill voice behind them, and Lily froze in place.
'No, not her… Anyone but her…'
"Jamie!"
James didn't turn around to look at the newcomer; he was too busy watching Lily's facial expression with keen interest. He could tell she was about to change her mind - if anything, this could make her do it. For the first time in his life, he was actually glad to see Kate Malshirn.
She walked to James, beaming. Tossing her white-blond hair, she looked at him adoringly with big, honey-coloured eyes.
"I've just heard your team's receiving applications! I've been waiting for this, like, forever!" squealed Kate. "I've got all the qualifications you could possibly hope for - I even did a special strategy course last semester!"
James nodded slowly, still waiting to see how Lily would react. Oh, of course he'd never accept Kate in his team - he hated the girl -, but there was no way Lily could know that…
Lily faced Kate glaringly. All she could think about was how much she hated Kate - the girl who'd ruined her life, the girl who'd made her break up with the love of her life -
The fact that she didn't argue with herself over calling James 'the love of her life' was symptomatic of how angry Lily was. She didn't give it a single thought - she just knew that she loathed Kate Malshirn.
And she was going to let her work with James? Lily was going to let that… slut take her place beside him? - Not that she wanted that place, but -
Hell, no! Lily would die before letting Kate work with James! The girl obviously had made sure she had everything needed for the job - damn her! -, so there was really no other way Lily could stop her. She would have to take the post.
Kate had just noticed Lily was right beside them - and instinctively perceived that they were there for the same reason.
"What are you doing here?" she demanded angrily. Kate had long since given up on understanding James' unconditional love for Lily. And now that the… love of his life was back, he would surely choose her, to try and win her back… And Kate was going to lose this job just because of Lily? No!
Lily sighed. She was going to have to do this. At any rate, she could always quit the minute Kate joined a different team…
"I work here, Kate," she replied at last, to Dorcas and Marlene's utter bewilderment. "I'm sorry, but there are no more vacancies in the team."
James smiled, but quickly hid his smugness beneath a mask of sombreness. He couldn't risk Lily thinking he had manipulated this situation in any way - he hadn't, but… Well, he had definitely liked the outcome.
Kate clenched her fists and pursed her lips, furious. How dare Lily come all the way from wherever the hell she'd been in the past few years just to take James away from her?
"Yeah, Kate, sorry," said James, not meaning it at all. "I'm sure you'll find another team in no time."
"But, Jamie," she whined. "This office is so big… I'm sure there's room for one more person -"
Lily threw James a look that clearly told him it was either her or Kate. Obviously, James would much rather have kept Lily.
"I'm sorry, Kate, but no. Out team is -" he cast a sideways glance at Lily, "perfect as it is."
Marlene opened her mouth to speak, but James shut her up with a look.
Without another word, Kate turned around and left, pouting.
After a few seconds, Amelia came out of the meeting room whose fireplace Kate had just used.
"James, what happened? Kate -"
"I've already chosen the newest member of our team," he announced, fighting back a grin. "You can close the fireplace. But first - Amelia Bones, Lily Evans."
They nodded politely at each other and then looked back at James.
"Welcome to the team," he said to Lily genially.
She walked over, her eyes narrowing dangerously. James knew very well how to recognise the signs of what was coming. He of all people… But he couldn't avoid it; it was bound to happen sooner or later.
Lily slapped him, just like she had so many times before they'd started dating. Only she was much stronger now… What an arm!
"You big-headed, insufferable jerk," she spat.
Lily turned and walked away. When she was almost at the door, she called out, "I'll be here tomorrow at seven-thirty."
They all stared at the door after she was gone; slowly, their gazes turned to look at James. His cheek was red, and probably hurting, but he smiled anyhow.
"Your new Chief Auror," he informed them cheerily. "We'll share the leadership of this group."
Everybody continued to stare at him.
"Oh, we'll get along… eventually."
Amelia snorted softly, disbelieving.
"Hopefully," James added quietly. "Yeah - hopefully."
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