Unofficial Portkey Archive

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Hopelessly Addicted

Chapter 19

"Accidentally in love"

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Sunday, November 26th, 1978

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Take my love; I'll never ask for too much

Just all that you are and everything that you do

I don't really need to look very much further

I don't wanna have to go where you don't follow (…)

I have nothing, nothing, nothing if I don't have you…

Whitney Houston, "I have nothing"

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"Good morning."

Lily heard James' distant greeting and came up for air, smiling at him. "Good morning."

She loved her husband's apartment. One of her favourite features was the big bathtub, in which she still hadn't had the opportunity to stay for long. But this morning, Lily had woken up determined to try it out, and she loved it. Oh, of course James didn't have all the proper scented foams and bath salts, but she would fix that in no time.

His bathroom was decorated in a rather simple fashion, much to his liking. Some things had changed in the past week; there were two big towels instead of one, two toothbrushes by the sink, and a few cosmetics here and there. Lily had quickly banished what little items Julia had left behind to the back of the cupboard.

Lily Potter's influence was already evident in different parts of the house. She had greatly reorganised the kitchen, and rearranged the living room furniture. Sirius had considered complaining - it was his apartment too, after all -, but he liked the modifications in the end. Slowly, all the Marauders were beginning to remember what it felt like to have LilyandJames as part of their gang.

James, on the other hand, was having a blast. The perks of living with Lily were rather evident, and greatly outweighed occasional frictions. Why should arguments worry him? The couple would always quarrel anyway. But to wake up in the morning and find Lily having a bath… that was worth anything.

James sat on the edge of the tub, and absent-mindedly rearranged the bubbles. "Can I join you?"

She moved a little, scooting so that he could enter. James took off his boxers and slid underneath her, wrapping his arms around her waist. Lily leaned her head on his chest.

"I'm not used to waking up alone anymore," he said with a smile. "You could have called me."

" 7Hhopefully, I was well replaced by the pancakes," Lily replied. "I didn't want to wake you up, but I would have had to if you had continued sleeping for much longer. I wouldn't want us to be late for the meeting."

"It starts at four, doesn't it?"

"Yes, but I was thinking of stopping by Hogsmeade before that… I haven't been there in a while. What do you think?"

"That's fine. We can leave right after lunch - and I'm cooking this time."

"Oh no!" Lily exclaimed with feigned horror. James had only cooked for her once before - and she had distracted him from the fire, so the meal hadn't turned out very good.

He chuckled. "Ah, yes. You're a wonderful cook, darling, but you have yet to see what living with Sirius did to my domestic skills. It was either learn to cook or order food every day."

"What, none of your girls cooked for you?" she asked, mockingly surprised. "I'm shocked."

"Well, Julia did, sometimes. But, I don't know… I don't like it when people cook here."

Lily looked at him curiously. "Why?"

He shrugged. "They always mess up my things."

"Oh, dear. I didn't know it irritated you… I can put everything back the way it was."

"No, it's fine; I'm just a little… possessive of the kitchen for some reason. I'm the only one who uses it, see."

"I can put everything back, James."

"It's fine; your way is good too. Plus, marriage is all about compromise," he taunted, grinning. "And I don't mind sharing my kitchen with you."

She beamed. "Okay then."

James kissed her forehead tenderly. "Why did you make pancakes?"

"You mentioned something in your sleep about chocolate topping… I thought you were dreaming about pan-" she paused when she noticed his amused smile. "Oh, silly Lily. You wouldn't dream of pancakes."

"Well, I didn't yesterday," he admitted. "Even though the pancakes were delicious, they did not replace you adequately."

"I'm afraid we're all out of chocolate topping, honey."

"We'll be fine without it."

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Aceita o que seja seu, então deita e aceita eu

Molha eu, seca eu, deixa que eu seja o céu

E aceita o que seja seu; anoiteça e amanheça eu

Beija eu, beija eu, beija eu, me beija; deixa o que seja ser

Beba e receba o meu corpo no seu corpo, eu no meu corpo

Deixa, eu me deixo...

Marisa Monte, "Beija eu"

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Lily checked her watch. "We have two hours before noon."

"Excellent."

"What are you cooking for lunch?" she asked, lazily stretching and accommodating herself more comfortably.

"I'll decide when I get to the kitchen."

Their change of focus was always so smooth and natural! One moment they were having a perfectly normal conversation, and the next, they had begun toying with each other - and they often did both at the same time, like now.

James placed his leg between hers, and turned her torso slightly, so that she could face him. He tenderly kissed her nose, eyelids, cheeks and lips, and Lily shivered when he went down her neck, shoulder and arm.

"I want -" she breathed out suddenly.

James immediately stopped what he was doing to look at her. "What?"

Lily smiled. How could he convey so much care and lust in a mere glance? She was thankful that her relationship with James didn't consist solely of routine Friday night missionaries… She couldn't imagine ever having that boring an interaction with him.

"What do you want, love?" he asked again.

She looked at him strangely. Why was he calling her that? She had nothing against it, but… When had he started getting love in the picture? And why had they started with this silly pet name thing anyway?

Speaking of nicknames, Billy seemed to be getting impatient. Oh, it was a terribly unoriginal name! She knew it, but she hadn't been able to come up with anything better back at Hogwarts. 'Peter' and 'John,' her first two ideas, had been vehemently rejected by James for obvious reasons, and 'Billy' had ended up being chosen.

Lily soon stopped thinking about that. James had stopped waiting for her to express her wishes, and was moving against her slowly; their slippery, soapy skin was touching everywhere.

They turned around and switched positions until they reached a satisfactory arrangement. The recurring splashing sound of the water against the tub was slow, roughly following their breathing.

James seemed to be daring her to make the next move. Her lips slowly formed an impish smile, and she freed one of her legs to wrap it around him.

Lily wished she could say that she hadn't felt this excited before, or something equally impressive, but it wouldn't be true. James had always known how to rub her the right way, so to speak.

She was in a permanently semi-excited state all day, or so it seemed. She'd heard people talking about how blissful the first months of married life were - and the Potters were enjoying this time to the fullest. It was never too late for some fooling around; they were never too busy for a relaxing quickie.

Before she knew it, James had already guessed her intentions, and had abruptly pulled her underwater. She didn't have time to react; he kissed her, forcefully pushing her closer to the ground. In the distance, she heard the water splashing on the floor, and knew that the bathroom was going to be a mess after they were done.

Lily couldn't tell whether he was taking or giving her oxygen. It didn't really matter. Suddenly, without any foreplay or teasing, he was inside her.

Lily's body jerked involuntarily, and James tightened his grip on her waist. She encircled his neck, pulling him closer, and deepened their kiss. She did it as if her life depended on the intensity of her actions; in a way, that was exactly how she felt.

Their synchronisation was as good as always. Lily and James had known each other well for a long time now, and the past few days had improved that. She could hear his accelerated heartbeat - or was it hers? -, and tightly clutched his neck.

Lily felt dizzy, but maintained the frenetic rhythm he had set to their movement. She could feel herself being quickly pushed over the edge, and James - oh, James was only waiting for her. His back hit the wall hard every time he moved a little slower than her, and he seemed keen on not letting that happen too often.

Lily emitted a low, short moan as soon as they came up for air. She felt weak, as if every bone and muscle in her body could shatter at any time. Her head even hurt a little - the lack of oxygen had definitely been taxing… But damn, that had been good. It had been one of the best in the past few days, despite its simplicity and speed, and that was saying something.

"That was… fast," he said, chuckling. "It must be some kind of a record."

Lily grinned. "Do I need to say that that was absolutely fantastic, or will your male ego over-inflate if I flatter it any more?" she asked, still slightly out of breath, looking at James and running her hands through his hair. His head was now on her chest, and he had his eyes closed.

She felt his smile against her skin, and her grin broadened.

"No, it could always use some more flattering."

"I thought so."

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The look of love is in your eyes; a look your smile can't disguise

The look of love, it's saying so much more than just words could ever say

And what my heart has heard, well, it takes my breath away (…)

How long I have waited, waited just to love you!

Now that I have found you, you've got that look of love

It's on your face, a look that time can't erase…

Diana Krall, "Look of love"

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Lily's foot toyed with James', and their fingers intertwined. He would need a few minutes to recover, and she would be happy to remain in their current position.

"I was thinking about the Shrieking Shack," James said nonchalantly. "Or maybe the Quidditch pitch… ah, and the Great Lake… Hogwarts has too many possibilities. I can't make up my mind. What do you think?"

"But we've already tried all of those. Why don't we go somewhere new?"

"Are you suggesting that we should endeavour to shag in every Hogwarts chamber?" James asked, smirking. "Now, that's an ambitious project I'd love to undertake."

Lily chuckled. "So would I, James, but I'm afraid we won't have enough time to spare in the castle these days. Although," she added pensively, "we do have quite a head start."

"So, should we start from the top down, north to south or what? It's a damned shame the guys didn't manage to get the Map back from Filch's office… It would be useful now."

Lily glanced at him. "Are you really serious about this?"

"Yes, of course. You?"

She smiled. "Naturally."

James laughed. How could he have found such a mischievously adorable wife? "I love you, you know that?"

He didn't stop to think about what he was saying. He didn't even consider for a second what the consequences could be. However, he did notice it when Lily took a sharp intake of breath. And only then did he realise what he had just said could surprise or upset her.

James knew Lily well enough to tell that she had been struggling against denial for a while. Had she overcome it?

James raised his head to look at Lily; he couldn't wait to read the reaction in her eyes. Would she be frightened? Disappointed? Frustrated?

He gazed into her eyes for a moment, but doubted the veracity of what he saw there. He didn't believe it - he wouldn't believe it until he heard her say the words.

It only took her a few seconds to crack a smile. His statement had surprised her, yes - but it had been a pleasant surprise. Naturally, she had already realised that he cared for her somewhat… But he loved her; he loved her!

"I love you too," she replied, feeling an inner thrill incomparable to any caused by physical stimulus.

Oh, no 'me toos' for James! She wouldn't give him the same answer she had given to all her boyfriends in the past few years. This time, she was for real.

He grinned, and moved closer to kiss her. Could life really be this perfect for much longer? James had never felt this happy before; he had never appreciated having Lily around him this much.

She loved him, and he loved her even more for that.

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Some say love, it is a river that drowns the tender reed

Some say love, it is a razor that leaves your soul to bleed

Some say love, it is a hunger, an endless, aching need

I say love, it is a flower, and you, its only seed

It's the heart afraid of breaking that never learns to dance…

LeAnn Rimes, "The Rose"

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"Pass me the white pepper, love."

Lily did as James requested, and watched him with interest. He tasted a little bit of the sauce from the pan, and smiled with satisfaction. She had to admit that the smell was absolutely delicious; she was dying to taste the dish he was preparing, but he would hear none of it.

A distinct flutter of wings puzzled Lily, and she turned to look at the newcomer. Eilantha, the Potter family phoenix, had suddenly appeared in the kitchen.

Lily almost squealed with delight. She hadn't seen James' phoenix since they had left Hogwarts. In truth, she had never really remembered to ask him what had happened to the bird. Now she regretted it, having just realised how much she liked the bird.

"Eilantha!" she greeted profusely. "Oh, it's been such a long time! How are you? I missed you!"

The phoenix leaned her head against Lily's cheek affectionately, and James grinned. The two of them had always gotten along well, but they had never had an opportunity to stay together for long. Eilantha had flown away soon after the Potters' death (which she had witnessed), and she had returned on the day of Lily and James' Graduation - the day of their break-up.

"She's always gotten along well with you," he said, "but she's never really liked any of my other girlfriends in the past few years."

Eilantha glowered so expressively that the couple had to laugh. The phoenix nodded towards Lily.

"You knew we were married all along, didn't you?" Lily asked with a sudden hunch. "That's why you liked me - you always side with Potter women."

If that were possible, Lily would say that the phoenix smiled. It was entirely plausible to imagine that Eilantha had sensed the new connection between Lily and James from the day they'd gotten married. After all, that connection had been formed by a ritual, and not by signing a simple piece of parchment.

"I tried to introduce her to Julia a few months ago, but Eilantha refused to acknowledge the poor girl. She flew away and has only shown up when I'm alone."

"Good girl," Lily praised her, beaming. "Julia was never Potter material."

James chuckled. "That was precisely Eilantha's opinion - or at least that's what I gathered from all the fulminating glares she sent my way."

The phoenix gently stroked Lily's face with the tip of her wing.

"You approve of Lily, then? Can I stay with her?"

Eilantha nodded slowly.

James smiled, and tenderly kissed his wife. "See, you're officially a part of the family now, love."

Lily playfully ran her hand over the top of Eilantha's head, and the bird emitted a strange, melodic squeak. James suddenly remembered the pans on the stove, and hurried to get everything off before things started burning.

He began separating silverware and plates. Taking advantage of his inattention, Lily grabbed a spoon and tasted the sauce.

"Hmm," she muttered. "This is delicious!"

James turned and grabbed the spoon. "You were supposed to wait!" he chided, somewhat ineffectively.

"I did wait!"

"You should still have waited more," James said, serving her plate. "But anyway - did you like it?"

"It's wonderful. I give up on insisting otherwise; you're a great cook."

He grinned. "Thank you."

Lily smiled as well, and glanced at him lovingly. They sat across the table from each other, and were quiet for a while, appreciating the food.

Eilantha watched them with benevolence. Lily and James now looked every bit like the couple they had been for years. They were perfect together; they had always been meant to be. They were true Potters.

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Dedicato a chi aspetta uma speranza

Davanti ad un dolore, nel freddo di una stanza

Dedicato a chi cerca la sua libertà

Canto alla vita, alla sua bellezza, ad ogni sua ferita, ogni sua carezza

I sing to life, to its tragic beauty, to pain and strife, all that dances through me

The rise and the fall, I've lived through it all...

Josh Groban & The Corrs, "Canto alla vita"

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Aberforth Dumbledore was a happy man. He worked as a bartender in the beautiful village of Hogsmeade. He could have remained contently under his powerful older brother's protection, but had chosen to serve as Albus' lookout.

Aberforth was an active member of the Order of the Phoenix. He was Albus' eyes and ears in the village, always keeping an eye on the Hog's Head's clientele.

He didn't really mind working for Albus. After all, the Hogwarts headmaster had already pulled him out of several tight spots - including one particularly embarrassing incident involving Aberforth's pet goat. It was only fair that the youngest Dumbledore should repay him somehow.

Despite having worked closely for many years, the two bothers had never been close. Aberforth had always been the odd, rebellious black sheep of the family, and Albus had already begun to show his genius before learning to speak. No one ever believed that they were twins; precocious, loveable Albus had always seemed much older than immature, ill-behaved Aberforth.

Their family had always been poor. With great difficulty, they had managed to give Albus some special training, at the expense of Aberforth's education. It was almost a relief to them when their youngest son had refused to go to Hogwarts. He hadn't wanted to endure seven years of people comparing the two brothers and having exceedingly high hopes concerning poor Aberforth.

Being the younger brother of one of the greatest wizards of all time was not easy. Nevertheless, Aberforth didn't feel bitter about it - not anymore, at least. They were well past a hundred years older now, and the time for those silly resentments was gone.

All that was in the past. The imperative present was the threat posed by that self-entitled Lord Voldemort. Oh, Aberforth remembered him! Tom Marvolo Riddle had been a model student back at Hogwarts, a seemingly flawless wizard.

Riddle had been to the Hog's Head only once - right after his Graduation. He had made quite an impression on the bartender, who had been curious to meet the young genius. At the time, Albus had just arranged the place for his erratic brother in Hogsmeade. The former Transfiguration teacher and Deputy Headmaster had been concerned about Aberforth's constant troublemaking, and had wanted to keep an eye on him.

Sporadically, Albus came over for a drink, and they had tense, rather superficial talks. These occasions were rare, and brief; the two men had no common interests. Aberforth had never cared about what happened in the wizarding world. Deep inside, he carried the firmly established certainty that Albus would make everything all right in the end; he always did.

Aberforth had always wondered if Albus was sure of that as well. One day, the troubled Hogwarts teacher had vaguely mentioned his worries about an especially bright Slytherin prefect. More than used to his customers' lamentations, the bartender had hurried to identify what was ailing his older brother: jealousy.

Since then, Aberforth had been anxious to meet the boy. Once he did, the reason for Albus' preoccupation became apparent. Riddle had a magnetic personality; he was convincing and undoubtedly powerful. What was there not to like about him? Everyone disagreed with the paranoid Transfiguration teacher, or credited his apprehension to the fact that he was Head of Gryffindor house.

Albus had finally gone mad for good, they all said. He envied Tom's gifts, and was afraid of the competition, the most daring declared. Aberforth had never liked to follow the mainstream opinion. And, this time, he sided with his brother.

There was something about Tom Riddle. Aberforth couldn't really identify it, but he had already had enough contact with dark wizards to develop a sixth sense of sorts.

The cold look in Riddle's eyes… The way he manipulated everyone around him… His curiosity regarding obscure, if not dark, areas of magic… Tom Riddle was heartless, and ruthless. Yes, he was dangerous. And that, Aberforth knew, was the first step in any potential Dark Lord's path.

Aberforth himself could testify of that. He, who had been Grindenwald's best friend, certainly knew how that transition worked.

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Can't you see that you're smothering me?

Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control

'Cause everything that you thought I would be

Is falling apart right in front of you…

Every step that I take is another mistake to you

And every second I waste is more than I can take…

Linkin Park, "Numb"

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Aberforth angrily wiped an empty Butterbeer jug, filled it up and slammed it on the counter, nearly breaking it. The poor astonished customer in front of him slowly moved away from the apparently unstable bartender.

Thinking of Gerald Grindenwald always made him feel frustrated and immensely furious. He couldn't help feeling a little guilty as well. After all, Aberforth had parted ways with Gerald precisely when the future Dark Lord had been beginning to get acquainted with the Dark Arts. Would things have been different if they had continued as friends?

The youngest Dumbledore had already been involved in many dodgy activities. Nevertheless, he had hesitated when Gerald had introduced him to dark magic, only a few days after beginning to study it himself.

Aberforth knew that his brother would disapprove of this new interest. But that disapproval had never stopped him from doing anything… The problem was that, for once, he actually understood Albus' concerns.

Gerald delved deeper into the Dark Arts, and began alienating his former best friend. He hung out with a strange crowd; Aberforth hadn't liked his new friends at all. Around that time, Albus had caught word of his brother's brief contact with evil wizards, and had offered him a job in Hogsmeade.

Albus was rich now, and famous. He bought the Hog's Head, and gave it to Aberforth, on one condition: the formerly irresponsible wanderer would have to settle and take care of the business himself.

Looking around the place, Aberforth smirked. One couldn't exactly say that he had done a good job with the bar's maintenance. But he liked the Hog's Head this way: dingy, shady and quaint. The tavern made enough profit to hire a lady who helped arrange the rooms in the inn above.

Aberforth still didn't know why he had accepted his brother's offer. Granted, he had always been crazy and utterly unpredictable, and nothing could have surprised anyone more than his acceptance. But why hadn't he suddenly become bored and left? He had no idea.

After the initial shock had died down, it had probably been his intention to leave at some point. The truth was that he had enjoyed living as a bartender. Listening to other people's sorrows was amusing, in a slightly sadistic way. For a few hours, he became a total stranger's best friend and confidante. Keeping secrets and occasionally giving advice was an essential part of the profession.

That was why he had hesitated before agreeing to Dumbledore's request to become a Hogwarts Guardian. Albus had mostly unnoticed wizards (and perhaps other creatures too - who knew?) secretly stationed in several parts around the school, serving as his scouts and sentinels. He had chosen them soon after becoming Headmaster; it had been a brilliant and highly functional idea. But then again, so were most of his ideas.

Anyway, here he was. Aberforth was a Guardian, just like William Bones and Rubeus Hagrid. Those were the only two others whom he knew, but there were certainly at least a few more. In addition to this mostly boring and uneventful job, Aberforth was also a member of the Order of the Phoenix.

Now, that was a lot more fun. Aberforth clearly remembered the day his brother had come to tell him that Tom Riddle had proclaimed himself the new Dark Lord. That announcement had surprised Aberforth significantly less than the similar one concerning Gerald Grindenwald, fifty years before.

Back then, the bartender had gone through a brief phase of denial. Surely his best friend could not have fallen that far! Soon, however, the sad reality had sunk in; the next blow - Albus being put in charge of hunting Gerald down and possibly killing him - had been accepted with far more ease.

But when news of Riddle's rise to power reached his ears, Aberforth had been a little worried. His anxiety was exclusively due to the fact that Albus seemed alarmed - that was a scary thought.

It couldn't mean anything good. Aberforth had seen the boy with his own eyes; he could imagine the incredible things Riddle was capable of. After a few years of training in the Dark Arts - presumably with Gerald's old buddies -, Riddle would become almost unstoppable.

Almost. Aberforth knew perfectly well that, in the end, Albus would corner this Dark Lord as well. Hadn't he caught Gerald? Hadn't he seen through Riddle's cover years before everyone else? Wasn't he the greatest wizard of their time?

There was nothing to worry about, really. Aberforth would do what he could for the Order in the meantime, of course, but he was sure that, in the end, all that would matter would be Albus' duelling skills against Lord Voldemort.

In the end, everything was always about Albus.

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A cloaked entity within a virtual reality, mechanised and organised

To me, it's plain to see the hand that's been busy weaving fantasy

It's so hard to understand, and often we are blind

But if truth were an ocean, would it fit in the pool of the human mind?

The Corrs, "Secret life"

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"Excuse me, excuse me."

Aberforth turned to glance at the door when he heard a familiar female voice. He had a great memory; it took him only a second to remember who it was.

"Mrs. Potter," he greeted with a slight smile.

He didn't know Lily well. They had only met a few times before, and most of those had consisted mainly of bartender-customer interaction. On the other hand, Aberforth was well acquainted with her husband. The four Marauders had frequently visited the Hog's Head, but James had been the one who'd kept in touch after graduation.

"Hello, Mr. Dumbledore."

"Aberforth, please," he hurried to correct her. "That name is not always welcome around here."

Lily nodded, and sat in the counter.

"Do you want anything to drink?"

"Just water, please."

After serving some other customers, Aberforth came to talk to her. Like everyone else, he approved James' choice of a wife. Oh, of course the couple kept insisting that it had all been a huge misunderstanding! But despite that, the two of them obviously felt enough love for each other to prevent the filing of a divorce.

"Are you here for the '72 reunion?"

Lily blinked a few times, confused. Oh, right… Dumbledore had organised a reunion of her former colleagues as a cover-up for the Order meeting. It was getting harder every time to assemble all the members in one place.

"Yes, I am."

"How is James? I haven't seen him in a while."

"He's fine. He went out to meet his friends… They'll stop by later on; I'm sure he wants to say hello."

"He's a fine man; you're lucky to have captured his heart for so long."

Lily beamed. "I am."

"I'm glad you decided to stay in London after all. It was the right choice."

She clearly remembered the day Aberforth had come to meet her, disguised as a cab driver. It had been her first day of work with James, and she had been quite willing to give up on everything and to return to France. But Albus had sent her a clear message through his brother: London was the place for her, not Paris.

Lily was certainly grateful for that intervention. But, on second thought, she would never have left England, despite all the initial quarrelling. Sure, she'd considered doing that many times - it was an ever-present threat in her first arguments with James. Nevertheless, she wouldn't have really done it.

"I wasn't in my right mind back then. I shouldn't have left in first place. I really enjoy working here."

"Do you and James get along better now, Lily? May I call you Lily?"

"Yes, of course. And yes, we get along significantly better, but we'll always argue a little."

"Just like back at Hogwarts… You all used to come here often."

"James came here more times than I, if I'm not mistaken."

"But when you started dating, you two came together. I wonder why; my bar may be many things, but romantic it is not."

"Well, it's a nice place."

Aberforth smirked. "No, nice isn't quite it, either."

Lily grinned. She liked dealing with honest people - she knew so few of them! "The Three Broomsticks is far too… bright. I prefer slightly obscure, kind of dubious places like this. I like the Hog's Head."

"Good. I like it, too."

"What are your shifts here?" Lily asked point-blank, raiding an eyebrow and hoping he'd understand her true question. Aberforth never went to Order meetings; most members didn't even know he was one of them.

"I hardly ever leave," he replied evenly, pouring her another glass of water. "I enjoy my work, and I only go out when I absolutely have to do so."

"I see."

"My brother and I get along reasonably well, Lily," Aberforth stated somewhat cryptically. "He generally forgives my faults even faster than he does everyone else's."

She nodded, not really knowing how to respond. Was everyone in Dumbledore's family a little nutty?

"So don't worry about my part of the big task; I've got it covered."

"Okay."

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You say I took the Name in vain; I don't even know the Name

But if I did, well, really, what's it to you?

There's a blaze of light in every word; it doesn't matter which you heard

The holy or the broken Hallelujah…

Leonard Cohen, "Hallelujah"

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"Hey, Moony."

Remus looked up and lifted his glass of Butterbeer to salute Peter's arrival.

The Three Broomsticks was usually a cheery pub, but today the mood seemed to be somewhat dampened by the chilly weather. The few customers talked in fast whispers, and every loud noise startled most people.

The atmosphere of Remus Lupin's little corner didn't seem any happier. In truth, his face showed more sadness than most others. His eyes betrayed the void he felt in his soul.

It was always like this, Peter thought dully. Every heartbreak seemed to tear Remus' world apart, and only a new infatuation cured him for good.

"How are you?"

Wormtail's question was an invitation for his friend to open up and confide in him, but, as usual, Moony didn't take it. Remus was like Prongs, in a way; they dealt with pain similarly. However, the werewolf was significantly more jaded.

"Predictably awful. You?"

"I'm all right."

"Good."

They were never talkative when Sirius and James weren't around. Remus and Peer were essentially backstage guys - neither dealt well with being in the spotlight, unlike the other two Marauders.

It was odd, actually. The four of them were entirely different and no one could have foreseen their friendship. And yet here they were - not as close as they had been back at Hogwarts, but still close nonetheless.

Sirius and James were still best friends, naturally. If the rumours were true (and scandalous rumours concerning them were usually true), they had even shared girlfriends at some point! Peter and Remus had never been included in that special bond of theirs, mostly because it just wasn't the quiet ones' cup of tea, and the two craziest Marauders knew that.

"Did you hear? James is going to buy wedding rings today."

"It's about time," Remus stated with a small grin. "Is that why he's late?"

"I think so. He probably went with Sirius."

"Yes, that's likely."

They didn't voice their complaints about not being included in this important moment of James' life. Why would they? They both knew that Sirius would always come first.

Oh, there they went again. Remus had nothing more to say, so he silently sipped his Butterbeer. If Peter pressed the matter, he could probably get some more information about the whole Sylvie affair. However, the truth was that Wormtail didn't really want to do that. Why should he care?

So Moony had broken up with yet another perfectly nice girl, and was suffering… Big deal. That happened all the time!

But of course Moony always managed to get other wonderful women later anyway. Despite being utterly miserable and looking like crap most of the time - not to mention the whole turning-into-a-bloodthirsty-beast-once-a-month thing -, he charmed girls easily.

Remus Lupin was a true Marauder. He just didn't switch girlfriends with the same frequency as James and Sirius did, but that was only because he didn't want to. Naturally, that did not mean that he had ever spent more than a couple of months without dating.

The logical conclusion could be no other: Peter was the only Marauder who was always pushed aside, alone and frustrated. Merlin, he hated it. Yes, it was nice to have those incredible friends to whom he could look up to, and many people wondered why they had accepted him into their gang in first place. Wormtail - Wormtail! He couldn't have gotten a more pathetic nickname! - didn't care.

One day, all that would change. One day, he would show everyone that he was better than show-offs like Sirius Black and James Potter. All the girls would throw themselves at his feet, including one Pamela Avery, and, perhaps, Lily Potter.

Peter smiled. Yes, he would like that. He would like that very much.

Lily Pettigrew.

.................................................

You know you've got the keys to my heart…

One, you're like a dream come true; two, just wanna be with you

Three, it's plain to see that you're the only one for me

Four, repeat steps one through three; five, make you fall in love with me

If ever I believe my work is done, then I'll start back at one…

Brian McKnight, "Back at one"

.................................................

The Hogwarts sky seemed pleasantly familiar. It was wonderful to pierce its clouds once more, especially considering that both Lily and James hadn't flown in quite a while.

But now here they were: together on one broomstick, just like old times, idly flying through the golden Quidditch hoops. Lily was in front of James; he had one arm around her waist, and was guiding the broom with the other hand.

"I'd forgotten how wonderful it is to fly," she mused, looking down. The castle was slowly becoming smaller. "This place is so beautiful… I miss it so much!"

"It's been years since I last got my broomstick and flew off to nowhere… The fact that I forgot my trusty Comet here at Hogwarts speaks for itself."

Lily turned her head a little to look at him. "Why is that? You've always loved flying."

James kissed the tip of her nose with a smile. "Because of you, of course. I stopped playing Quidditch because I missed having you as a fellow Chaser. I tried to avoid everything that reminded me of you, especially in the first few months after Graduation. Granted, that was nearly impossible…"

"Aw, poor baby," she cooed, putting her arm over his and pressing her cheek against his. James hugged her more tightly, and buried his face in the crook of her neck.

Lily giggled. "Are you even looking where we're going?"

"I don't need to," came the muffled reply. "Cover your eyes, love, and prepare to feel a little cold."

She suddenly remembered what was about to happen, and took the necessary precautions. "Impervius! Impervius!"

Lily finished the spell just in time. For a few minutes, a cold, strong wind blew against them. Clouds zoomed past them incredibly fast, and the humidity would have been almost unbearable if they hadn't been magically protected. The skies swirled around the frail broomstick.

"I should have come in front of you," James said regretfully, rubbing her arm. Lily barely felt his warm breath on her ear. "I'm sorry."

"It's all - all right," she stuttered. She felt entirely frozen, unable to think or move. "Are we almost the- there?"

"Almost. Help me keep the broomstick steady, straight ahead."

With some difficulty, Lily stretched her nearly petrified hand towards the handle, and her ice-cold fingers wrapped around his unfeeling ones. The couple leant forward; it was easier to endure the harsh wind that way. Their speed increased vertiginously, though by no move of their own.

All of a sudden, everything was still. The sun shone brightly, and the clouds below seemed like a distant, snowy field.

"It's a pity we can't see anything down there."

Lily nodded. They had just been catapulted to the exterior of the magic 'bubble' surrounding Hogwarts. The vertical limitation had been recently created due to the popularisation of aircrafts.

Albus Dumbledore, who had been the Transfiguration teacher back then, had undertaken the hard task of studying the ancient charms protecting the wizard school. He had then cast one more layer of strong deflecting spells. That way, Muggle airplanes would not suffer (and possibly crash) from the reverberations of all the magic practiced at Hogwarts.

The end result was that, if wizards flew beyond a certain height, they were able to see Hogwarts in the same way occasional wanderers did: a few ruins with a DANGER sign. The flight was strongly discouraged, and prevented to an extent by the artificially rough climatic conditions near the borders.

"I wonder if Williams Bones is still around," James said idly, scanning the environs. "He used to come zooming over right after anyone left the boundaries."

"Dumbledore might have relocated him. He's - what, Amelia's brother?"

James shook his head. "Distant cousin. Genealogy was never really my forte, but, if I'm not mistaken, he's Amelia's great granduncle's grandson. I think that, other than Edgar, he's one of her closest relatives alive."

"I'll never understand how all of you old-blooded wizards learn all these family trees by heart. They're so complex!"

"Well, we grow up surrounded by distant relatives… It's not that hard, really."

Lily nodded, still unconvinced. "Isn't little Gus Amelia's closest relative?"

"Of course; how could I forget Gus?" James smiled. "Have you heard the story of Amelia's involvement with Fabian Prewett?"

"Yes."

"I've never seen him more desolate than on the day Amelia gave birth to that kid."

"Poor guy."

"He thought that her pregnancy meant that she had decided to be with her husband after all."

"Didn't he want her to be happy?"

"He knew she would never be happy with that guy," James answered carefully. "But, in the end, I think he wants her to be happy, even at the expense of his own realisation."

Lily sighed. "Would you be capable of that?"

He was pensive for a while. "I'm not sure. I can be pretty egoistical sometimes."

"Yeah, me too."

.................................................

Here we are, talking about forever; both know damn well it's not easy together

We've both felt love; we've both felt pain (...)

I'm not scared; it's worth the chance to me... Take my hand - let's face eternity

Well, I can't tell you that I will never change, but I can swear that in every way

I'll try to love only you, and I'll try my best to be true...

Alan Jackson, "I'll try"

.................................................

James pulled Lily a little closer, and they both stared at the clouds below. Lost in thought, he remembered their past together. The couple had certainly gone though a lot to get to where they were now... He was certain that it had all been worthwhile; he couldn't imagine how his life would have been if Lily hadn't come back to him.

"I hope I never have to make that choice," Lily muttered.

"You won't - not if it depends on me, at least."

Suddenly, he smiled, and let go of her hand. Lily threw him a confused look while he searched his pockets. He seemed to find what he'd been looking for after a few seconds, and said, "You know, people usually throw big parties to do this, surrounded by tons of people. But we've never really liked doing things the conventional way... So, Lily Potter -" he began with a broad grin, opening his hand to reveal two rings, "will you continue to be my wife?"

Lily was pleasantly surprised. She couldn't help smiling. His expectant face seemed to shine with fierce joy and pride. He was so endearing, so absurdly romantic! How could she have thought that she had fallen out of love with him?

"I will," she replied.

James kissed her softly, and said, "And I promise to continue to love and - and to hold, and all those nice things, no matter what happens. Oh, and to be faithful to you and only you, until death parts us. Do you?"

"Yes."

"Good."

Lily giggled, feeling incredibly silly. "You switched everything around, baby."

"Ah, I know. I asked Sirius to help me memorise all these things, but he kept making stupid comments... You know how that can be."

She nodded. "But it doesn't matter. That was perfectly sweet... I guess we should put the rings now, then?"

"Oh! Rings, yeah," he agreed, obediently giving her his wedding band.

Lily suddenly felt a strange lump in her throat, and a strong urge to cry. Turning to stay face to face with him, she almost fell off the broomstick. Merlin, she loved James too much... that couldn't be good.

He wrapped his arms around her protectively. James would never let her fall; he never wanted her to feel anything but pure joy for the rest of her life. Lily was his - body, heart and soul -, and he loathed the thought that harm could come to her in any way.

"I love you," she breathed out sincerely. Lily had never meant those three words as much as she did now. "That was perfect, adorable, so loveable..."

"Only you can make me act so utterly foolish - and I love you even more for it."

Lily chuckled.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

He looked away. "For staying here, for being with me, for deciding to give us a chance."

"It wasn't really a decision; I had no other options," Lily replied at once. It was true, and he knew it. "We deserved that. I just hope it never has to end."

"It won't," James assured her with perfect certitude, and she believed him. "We've been through enough. We deserve to enjoy this peace and quiet for a while."

"I sure hope so."

.................................................

So open up your morning light, and say a little prayer for right

You know that if we are to stay alive, and see the peace in every eye

I don't wanna wait for our lives to be over

I want to know right now what will it be

I don't wanna wait for our lives to be over

Will it be yes, oh, will it be sorry?

Dido, "I don't wanna wait"

.................................................

"Leylann?"

The brunette turned abruptly, caught off guard. Leylann hadn't heard that voice in many years - and she was beginning to wonder why she had never bothered to keep in touch with any of her Hogwarts friends. It was nice to see so many people again.

The room was beautifully decorated; Dumbledore had taken care of everything. A huge, moving sign read 'Welcome back, class of '72,' and there was enough food to feed twice the number of people present.

Leylann had already talked to several of her old colleagues, most of whom she hadn't seen since Graduation. A few had even started Healer training with her, and she had met one or two as patients in St. Mungo's. Naturally, there were a handful - Lily, Sirius, and others - with whom she still met regularly.

The girl now standing before her was not one of those. Virginia had been her best friend back at Hogwarts, but they hadn't met since then. Having moved to New York soon after leaving Hogwarts, however, it had been hard for her to keep in touch with Leylann.

"Gin! Whoa, how are you?"

The two women embraced, laughing. They had been close back then, even more so than Leylann and Lily. The latter had always kept a safe distance, as if she thought that the girls' friendship was fickle.

Looking back, Leylann didn't blame her. The two of them had only become best friends during Healer training, when they were already sharing an apartment.

"I'm fine, just great. And you?"

"Same, same."

"Is Lily coming?" she asked, eyeing Rita Skeeter with a grin. The reporter was avidly watching the entrance, eyeing the others every once in a while. "That Prophet girl is probably just waiting for the famous Potters."

"Remus told me they're already in the castle. I don't know if they'll come to the reunion, but it's likely."

"I always knew that there was something different about those two. They were too close, you know?"

Leylann grinned. These days, everyone claimed to have 'guessed' that Lily and James were married since Hogwarts. Just this afternoon, it was the third or fourth time that someone stated that to her. "It was easy to tell which couples would go ahead and get married as soon as they left school."

"Frank and Alice Longbottom," Virginia said at once. "Rodolphus and Bellatrix Lestrange, Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy, James and Lily Potter…"

"Did you notice the Lestranges didn't come?"

"Of course. Most of the Slytherins are suspiciously absent, actually. Is it true that most of them are Death Eaters?"

"That's what people say," Leylann replied nonchalantly. She was no Auror; she didn't have any access to this sort of information.

"You-know-who is beginning to get really strong in the US. It's preoccupying."

"He's never attacked America before?"

"Not really. We've had a few American wizards murdered abroad, but never in our country. And then, all of a sudden, people started dying everywhere from Alaska to Florida… It's like a damned plague; everyone's terrified. We watched him grow more powerful here with apprehension, but we never really imagined that he'd come after us as well."

"Are you an Auror?"

"Yes. That's why I'm here - I'm going to take a look at the British methods and see if there's anything we can use."

In Leylann's opinion, Gin talked too much about her work. Wasn't this kind of thing meant to be discussed only in the office, with other Aurors? "How nice. Are you still living in New York?"

"No, I moved to LA. What about you, still in London?"

"Yeah, in the same apartment."

Gin hesitated for a second before asking, "Leylann, is there any way - and I'll totally understand if there isn't - for me to stay with you for a few days? I don't know for how long I'm staying, but I want to find a flat of my own. I just need somewhere to crash in the meantime."

"I'm not sure - I'm still sharing the place with Lily. I'll check with her, and tell you."

"What, Lily doesn't live with her husband?"

Oh, Leylann didn't feel like explaining the whole story right now. "It's a temporary thing."

"Okay… Just let me know when you can."

"Sure."

"So, what have you been up to lately?"

"Not much. My profession is terribly absorbing."

"Yeah, I know the feeling."

"Do you like being an Auror?"

"It's not bad. What about you?"

"I couldn't imagine myself doing anything else."

.................................................

When my soul was in the 'lost and found,' you came along to claim it

I didn't know just what was wrong with me, till your kiss helped me name it

Now I'm no longer doubtful of what I'm living for

And if I make you happy, then I don't need to do more

'Cause you make me feel like a natural woman...

Aretha Franklin, "Natural woman"

.................................................

"I don't want to enter."

James turned to look at Lily. They were only a few feet away from the Entrance Hall, and she had frozen in place. Several of their old classmates had already arrived, he could tell. A familiar laughter reached his ears; Sirius was in there as well.

Would it be nice to see everyone again? James wasn't sure. There were a few he honestly wished he could never see again - Severus Snape, for instance. But others… well, he simply didn't care. Of course it would be amusing to relive those careless days, but it wouldn't be nearly as fun if Lily weren't with him.

No, he wouldn't stay if she left.

"Let's go home, then," he suggested.

"We can't; there's an Order meeting here tonight, remember?"

"Oh, right. That's the reason we came in first place. Let's… walk around the castle, then."

Lily cast him a sideways glance, and smiled. His innocent suggestion didn't fool her for a second. "All right. Do you still remember your way around here?"

James snorted.

"Right. It's a stupid question, isn't it?"

"Terribly so."

"I wanted to go to the Gryffindor common room, and we don't have the password. Are you sure you remember all the secret passageways?"

"Lily!"

"Okay, okay! I'll shut up."

He quickly led her to an empty classroom, and had a hard time convincing an embittered suit of armour to let them enter the passageway to the Gryffindor tower. What had happened to that docile painting of Wendelin the Weird? Oh, right, Sirius had traumatised her with some indiscreet questions! Well, it didn't matter; the caretaker knew about that passageway, so it wouldn't be useful for any future Marauders.

James grinned. He could imagine himself giving his two (or three? He and Lily hadn't discussed that yet) sons a complete tour of the castle. Argus Filch had confiscated the Map a little before Graduation, but of course the four original Marauders could make another one, to pass on to their children. After all, no Potter had ever been a well-behaved student, even though there had been several Head Boys in the family.

Lily looked around the small tunnel with a nostalgic smile. It didn't take them long to arrive, and she happily noted that their old common room was empty. For a moment, she considered following the passageway to the Head Students' bathroom, but the armchairs near the fireplace seemed awfully inviting.

Lily pointed to the stairway leading to the girls' dormitory. "I remember the day I first saw you coming from Kate's dormitory," she said, a hint of sadness in her voice. "I had just come here from my sister's wedding, and I saw the two of you, obviously right after shagging."

She didn't want to mention her parents' death. She hardly ever mentioned it to anyone, and he knew what she was referring to.

James looked at her with genuine surprise. "You never told me that. I've always wondered how you knew about it before I said anything."

She looked at him square in the eye. "How was it?"

"What?"

"Kate. What was that like?"

James seemed hesitant. "I - why do you want to talk about it?"

"Because we're both here, and I want to know. I never understood why you'd done that, and now's as good a time as any. You loved me, didn't you?"

"Like a madman," he replied at once, staring at the fire. "I'd never felt anything like that before. I wanted to marry you; I never wanted to let you go. I was so dependent on being with you that I… I was scared of it all."

Lily glanced at him incredulously. "So you loved me so much that you just had to cheat on me?"

"It wasn't like that. I - she started constantly hitting on me, and then one day I just decided to give in to her. I wanted to know if it would be the same; I needed proof somehow that you were really different from all the others."

"And shagging the school slut was the best way to go about it?"

"I'm not saying it was the smart or right thing to do, but I just - needed to know! Come on, honey, I had barely looked at any other girl in over a year. I was suddenly confronted with the very real possibility of marrying you in a few months, and… I freaked out, but I didn't realise that until it was much too late. I thought that it wouldn't matter - you wouldn't even need to know or anything."

"Did you really think Kate would keep it secret?"

"I wasn't thinking! Honestly, I thought that, if I did it that one time, I would know that I really was meant to be with you, and all would be well."

"What happened then?"

James took a deep breath. Reliving those feelings wasn't good - he had beaten himself over all that far too many times. "It was awful."

She snorted. "Of course. That was why you kept doing it."

"No, really, I mean it. It wasn't bad in itself. I enjoyed it and all, but… it felt wrong, afterwards. I felt bad for doing it - and, in a way, I wanted to punish myself. I knew that I could never be with you again; I wouldn't be able to hide it from you."

"But why couldn't you just - not have been with her?" Lily asked, frowning. Everything seemed so absurd!

"I should've, but I only realised that after it was too late. I suffered too, love. I made my own life miserable, and I knew that everything was my fault. And then you told me your parents had been killed, and… Knowing that I was making you suffer even more hurt me as much as being away from you."

They both remembered well what had happened afterwards. They had ended up getting back together, and had eventually parted ways for good. Lily tried to summon up the reasons of her departure, but could only think of one: she had been afraid of being cheated on again.

"Do you think you'll ever freak out like that again?"

James raised an eyebrow. "Merlin, I hope not."

"Well, you've matured. Do you think nowadays that shagging can be entirely void of emotion?"

"Yes. It's entirely possible, and I've never doubted that, but… Once you spend too long without really feeling it, and you find someone, it's so valuable, and - I just don't want to lose this."

"But why would I trust a guy like you?" She asked, moving over to sit on his lap, burying her face in his chest.

He kissed her forehead. "You wouldn't. If you thought this through, and if you really wanted to be safe from harm, you wouldn't."

Lily sighed. "But it's too late now."

"Yes," James agreed with a slight grin. "Do you trust me?"

"Of course I do. More than anything."

"I don't want to disappoint you."

"You won't," she smiled. "I'm sure of it."

.................................................

I like your pants around your feet; I like the dirt that's on your knees

I like the way you still say please when you're looking up at me

You're like my favourite damn disease…

I love the places that we go; I love the people that you know

I love the way you can't say 'no'…

Nickelback, "Figured you out"

.................................................

"I knew I'd find the two of you near the Gryffindor tower! You're astonishingly predictable sometimes."

Lily and James turned to look at Leylann, who was coming up the stairs to meet them. They had just climbed out of the portrait hole, and had been debating whether to go to the reunion or not after all.

"How are things there?"

"Oh, everything's fine. Gin came - do you remember her?"

Lily frowned. "Er… brown hair, brown eyes, awfully talkative and your former best friend?"

"That's the one."

"Carolyn Brandt came, that blonde whom Remus used to date, and Annie Gibson too - she's working in Law Enforcement."

"Has Benjamin arrived?"

Leylann reflected for a second. "No. But he wasn't in our year."

"Yes, but his wife was."

She grinned. "I'm sure the two of you get along superbly well."

James laughed, and playfully nudged Lily. "It's no big deal. Mrs. Fenwick knows she's taken."

Leylann's eyes widened, and she remembered something. "Lily, Gin wants to crash at our place for a while. Is that all right with you?"

"Of course, no problem."

"You can come stay at my place," James offered.

"We don't know for how long -" Leylann began.

"For good, I mean."

He really did enjoy living with her… He had never considered asking another woman to move in with him, but this really seemed natural. It was an expected progression of their relationship.

Sure, things were moving a bit too fast. However, neither of them wanted to waste any more time after spending six useless years apart.

Lily took a sharp intake of breath. Once his statement had sunk in, she smiled. She was going to live with James! The prospect was a little daunting, but at the same time it pleased her immensely. She was his wife now, in every sense of the word.

"It's settled, then," James said, beaming.

They hadn't noticed, but Leylann had already led them most of the way to the Great Hall. Lily was suddenly torn between showing off her ring and husband to everyone else and trying to escape again.

"So… Are you going in or not?" Leylann asked.

"No," Lily decided quickly. "You can go if you want, James. I'll just - stay outside."

He put an arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer. "Nonsense. I'll stay with you. Just give me a second."

James went inside the Great Hall, and Lily knew that he was just going to let the other Marauders know where he was going. They would need to contact him when the meeting was about to start.

Her gaze followed him, and she smiled. She was going to move in with him!

Well, what about Julia? How would she feel when she found her boyfriend living with another woman? That awfully bad decision of spending a week in Italy had been more disastrous than anyone could have foreseen.

For some reason, Lily had never felt threatened by Julia's presence in his life. The poor girl wasn't real competition; James loved his wife, and only her.

Lily was a little sorry, of course. After all, Julia had been her best friend for many years. Sleeping with her boyfriend - despite everything else, that's what James was - had been cruel and heartless.

Lily knew how terribly Julia handled heartbreaks. Losing James, a man Julia loved and hoped to marry someday, would hurt a lot. Would it be worse for her to know that Lily had caused the separation? Would that be a surprise, or did she already know?

Julia wasn't stupid. But, if she had known, why hadn't she done anything?

She had just… left. She'd left the ground clear for Lily and James' relationship to blossom. Now there was no more room in his life for a girlfriend whom he didn't even love.

Lily felt like such a grownup all of a sudden! Perhaps that was due to the amount of memories she'd had to face today. So many things had changed since then… Lily's life would probably have been happier if she had stayed with James all these years. However, she had a feeling that, in that case, she wouldn't value that happiness as much as she did now.

Happiness. Yes, Lily was happy, more so than she had ever been. And it wasn't just a temporary elation; it was simply her state of being. She felt delighted, excited, needed, safe and in love.

Leylann threw Lily a somewhat puzzled, amused look. "Are you the same Lily who was terrified of getting involved with James a mere week ago? Lily Evans, that friend of mine who swore that she would never fall for him, and that your involvement would be purely sexual? That ice queen who wouldn't let her boyfriends bring more than one shirt to her apartment so that they wouldn't get too comfortable?"

Lily shook her head, grinning broadly. "No, Leylann. I'm Lily Potter now - a head-over-heels, homey wife whose greatest ambitions are to cook dinner for Mr. Potter every night and to have time to knit clothes for our dozens of children."

Leylann grimaced. "Dozens?"

"At least."

"Merlin… Seriously, are you guys in it for the long run, for real?"

Lily shrugged. "We haven't really talked about that."

"But you're going to live with him… And you're already married… I expect a nephew any time soon."

Surprisingly, Lily just smiled. The idea of having children didn't disgust her anymore. The world was coming to an end.

"You shouldn't have bothered unpacking! You only lived in my house for a few hours, really."

"That's true, but I had no idea any of this was going to happen! On Wednesday, I was still insisting on a physical relationship and unashamedly displaying a somewhat obsessive commitment phobia."

"And now you're in love with your husband, you're wearing a ring and thinking about children."

"I'm not. Well, I am. But it's just - well, someday, I think it would be nice to have little redheaded Potters running around."

"I call godmother!"

"Oh, of course."

"Wonderful, then. So… you're moving in with James and Sirius. Good luck, and don't let them keep you tied up in the kitchen for too long."

Lily blinked a few times. "I might just be spending too much time with them as it is… That sentence wasn't supposed to sound dirty at all, right?"

"No!" Leylann chuckled. "But I know what you mean - I hear hidden meanings in cookie recipes after spending a week with Sirius."

Lily laughed.

.................................................

Melting under blue skies, belting out sunlight, shimmering love

Baby, I surrender to the strawberry ice cream never ever end of all this love

Well, I didn't mean to do it, but there's no escaping your love (…)

Come on, come on, we were once upon a time in love

We're accidentally in love, accidentally in love…

Counting Crows, "Accidentally in love"

.................................................

"There he is!"

Bozo looked at the entrance when he heard Rita Skeeter's exclamation. He then took a picture of James Potter talking to Sirius Black, and waited for Potter to go talk to other people.

In Rita's opinion, the Potters were obviously the stars of the reunion. Never mind the fact that they hadn't even attended it; the couple was much more famous than most of the other alumni. In fact, Lily and James Potter had been showing up in the Prophet more often than Dumbledore himself.

Much to Bozo's disappointment, he had to endure Rita's irritated foot tapping for a while after that. Apparently, Mr. Potter had not come to stay at the meeting. He left a mere couple of minutes later.

"Where's he going?" she asked rashly. "Where's his wife? Why won't he stay?"

Bozo was beginning to get used to Rita's moods. It was always best to stay quiet.

"Follow him, Bozo."

He didn't complain. He knew that she would come as well; Rita wouldn't rest until she got a few quotes and some nice pictures of the Potters.

They were relatively easy targets. Before long, the couple had arrived near the Great Lake, and were sitting by the shore.

Bozo clicked a few times, waiting for Rita to catch up with the three of them. Had the Potters realised that they were being followed? It was likely; they were Aurors, after all. If that were indeed the case, it was kind of them to go somewhere with such perfect lighting and landscape.

James kissed Lily softly, and they lay together for some time.

"Did you catch them kissing?"

Bozo turned to look at Rita Skeeter. She was avidly watching the couple, and seemed anxious to take advantage of this situation as much as possible.

In her opinion, it was excellent to make her readers fond of the beautiful, talented couple. That would make their divorce a hard blow on everyone - a blow that would move many to tears.

Oh, of course they would divorce! Two explosive, fierce souls like them wouldn't let routine settle. Their love wouldn't diminish and wane with time; they would never let it come to that. The marriage was going to end with a bang that would shock everyone.

Rita could already see the headlines: the divorce of the century! It had been long since the British had had such promising rising stars close to the public's heart. The Longbottoms were nice - too nice. The Prewetts were awfully boring and serious.

For the past few months, the Witch Weekly reporter had been searching for someone to place in the spotlight. Now she'd found Lily and James Potter, who had it all: danger, beauty, infidelity, temper and an irresistible disregard for rules. Everybody loved them.

Smiling, Rita asked her photograph to take another series of shots.

It was going to be an excellent divorce.

.................................................

Never made it as a wise man, I couldn't cut it as a poor man stealing

Tried living like a blind man; I'm sick of sight without a sense of feeling

And this is how you remind me of what I really am…

It's not like you to say sorry; I was waiting on a different story

This time, I'm mistaken for handing you a heart worth breaking…

Nickelback, "How you remind me"

.................................................

Six years had passed.

Six years, Remus John Lupin.

It was definitely enough time to move on and forget. He'd been through several infatuations and heartbreaks since leaving Hogwarts. He should have forgotten Carolyn Brandt.

Actually, Remus had forgotten her. She was nothing but a painful memory now, like so many others: his first love, his first heartbreak. Nonetheless, he hadn't taken his eyes off her all afternoon. Why?

He knew why, of course. In his damned human heart - more human than Carolyn's, probably -, he always treasured those feelings, enduring time and distance, long after each break-up. In a way, Remus still loved all those women, and he would never forget them.

And now here she was, the first name on the long list of people who despised him. Oh, she had hated him so much back then! Carolyn had cried, and begged him to lie to her. The truth was too difficult to bear - she couldn't possibly have fallen in love with… with a monster. No, not her sweet Remus!

Their eyes met. Remus had been watching Carolyn for a while, and she knew it. He knew she knew it, and she was perfectly aware of that as well. Would she risk talking to him now, or would she continue ignoring him?

Liar, her angry eyes spat all of a sudden.

Her patronising glare hurt Remus. No, it hadn't been unexpected, but it still caused pain. Well, it wasn't the first time, and it wouldn't be the last. He would get over it, just like he always did.

Carolyn began walking towards him. Remus watched her, knowing fully well what to expect from their exchange. Why didn't he run? It would be easy to excuse himself, go talk to someone else and avoid her…

He did no such thing. Her wavy brown hair and swaying hips drew closer. Those hazel eyes soberly looked into his. She hadn't forgotten; she hadn't forgiven.

The navy blue velvet robes hinted at obscene riches. Everything about her gave away her love for ostentation. Carolyn's eyes were no longer those of a young girl in love; she had seen the world now. She knew how time went by, inexorably changing people and the world surrounding them. But she still hadn't forgiven him.

How could she have pardoned someone who had deceived her with phoney promises? She had gullibly trusted a monster with her heart, and nothing good had come from that. He had told her the truth, shattering her hopes. Obviously, she couldn't possibly have continued dating a werewolf.

Remus reasoned with himself, trying to silence the angry memories. He had honestly expected that Carolyn would react better to his confession. He had hoped against hope that she would accept him… But no, an age-old prejudice had overcome her love for him.

Why did he have to revisit all these memories? Why had she decided to come to this reunion anyway?

"Hello, Remus," Carolyn greeted warily. What did she fear? Did she think that he would suddenly transform and attack her? Why didn't the wizarding world realise that the Wolf only ran loose on full moon nights?

"Hello, Carolyn."

He was polite, as always. Was he this courteous when facing Death Eaters as well? Did he remain this calm when the white-hot pain of torture ran down his spine? Did any of his gestures ever betray fury or passion? She didn't remember; she didn't want to remember.

"It's been a long time."

"Yes, it has. How have you been?"

"Fine. My mother's married to the Minister now," she replied, somewhat aggressively. Was Carolyn trying to impress Remus? If so, she was doing it in an entirely inadequate way.

Like most members of the Order of the Phoenix, Remus disliked the Minister for Magic, Carl Bennett, who was little more than a self-important villain who had far too much gold invested everywhere to care about the people he administrated. Bennett defended his money's interest extraordinarily well, but didn't do much against Voldemort.

Alas, he was no fool. It was difficult for Dumbledore to puppeteer him around when necessary. Oh well - his mandate would be over soon.

"How nice," Remus said evenly. "How about you?"

"I'm engaged to Regulus Black - have you heard of him?"

Remus seemed surprised, and Carolyn remembered that Sirius Black - oh, it was easy to forget that he existed! - was a good friend of his. Regulus' older brother was no longer considered part of the family; his name had been burnt off the family tree years ago. The two latest Black revolutionaries officially no longer existed.

Toujours pur. Yes, they were all pure, Carolyn included. She could trace her genealogy for centuries, and had connections in all the right places. If wizarding Britain were still a monarchy, she would be a princess. And Sirius - Sirius could have been king. Unlike his brother, he had the charisma and strength to succeed.

Remus… What a joke! He was unfit to clean the floor on which they all walked. A beast, an impure animal - that's all he was. Carolyn could barely believe that she had let him seduce her.

How could she have known? How had Dumbledore accepted such a creature among his students? Hogwarts clearly wasn't what it had used to be.

"We've all changed a lot," Remus stated, his amber eyes piercingly gazing into hers. He could guess it all - not that she was trying to hide it: contempt, loathing, disgust… Why did he force himself to face such a disheartening situation?

"That's true," Carolyn agreed, suddenly anxious to walk away from him. She had nothing to say to Remus. The transgressions of her youth did not matter anymore. Love was overrated; honour was much more important.

Bowing her head slightly, in a regal salute of sorts, she left Remus and returned to her group of friends. Carolyn was immediately welcomed back into the joyful chat; they didn't know with whom she'd been talking.

She felt relieved to be surrounded by her equals once more. Associating with Remus Lupin tainted her. No one knew the truth about him, of course, but she felt contaminated to be anywhere near him.

Carolyn had a sudden impulse: she could tell everyone about his condition! It would be strangely rewarding to see him universally despised, suffering his former friends' scorn… She had to make him feel what she had gone through - she had fallen in love with a werewolf! How could he have any idea of the painful healing process she'd had to undergo?

She chose to remain quiet, despite everything. After all, Carolyn had given him her word, all those years ago, and she wouldn't break that promise. But she could never meet him again. He was unclean, and she was almost a Black. She had to merit that distinction.

Always pure.

.................................................

They live with their eyes turned away

They were the first ones to see; they are the last ones to bleed

The ultimate high as all beautiful dies

A ruler's tool, a priest's excuse, a tyrant's delight (…)

Cut me free, bleed with me, one by one, we will fall down, down, down

Pull the plug, end the pain, run and fight for life…

Nightwish, "Tenth man down"

.................................................

"Did you hear about the Heathrow fiasco?"

"Yes, of course! Merlin, what a shame," Gideon Prewett said, shaking his head despondently. Like many of the older Order members, he was here on a date with one of the girls from the class of 1972. There had been quite a few available; no one liked going to reunions alone.

The small group of people surrounding him nodded. Indeed, it was a great shame. A team of Aurors had failed to protect an airplane after receiving fairly specific and accurate information, causing the death of two hundred Muggles. There were rumours implying corruption among some high-profile Ministry officials. The wizarding population was confused; weren't they supposed to be the good guys?

"It sounds extremely odd to me. I've known Ralph Cyrus for many years, and I've never seen him fail so spectacularly. He's a good Auror," Frank Longbottom stated firmly. "Now, all these accusations of bribery…"

"If Cyrus was such a great guy, then why did he accept Malshirn in his team?" John McKinnon, Marlene's brother and a former Ravenclaw, retorted. "Everyone knows that she means trouble."

An uncomfortable silence ensued. Kate Malshirn was the Minister's mistress; he'd been putting pressure on all the Chief Aurors to accept her in their teams. Nobody knew why Ralph Cyrus had caved.

"It's not like we knew much about her… James Potter is the only one who's always loathed Kate Malshirn," Sturgis Podmore said carefully. Most people present knew of the story involving Malshirn and the Potters, but perhaps the mention of it would annoy Sirius Black, who was standing right in front of him.

"He has every reason to do so," Sirius replied vehemently. "Most people who get to know Kate Malshirn soon find out that she's not at all likeable."

"Why didn't she come? Wasn't she in the class of 1972?" Emmeline Vance, a new member of the Order, asked, frowning. She was pretending to date a former Hufflepuff, Elphias Dodge, who was also a member of the Order. They weren't doing a good job; he had forgotten his 'girlfriend' and was discussing Quidditch with Peter Pettigrew in a corner. On a second thought, his attitude wasn't that uncommon.

Nobody there worked in Cyrus' team, so they didn't know the inner details of the Heathrow episode. Since it had happened, two days ago, most of the Aurors from that team had been regarded with some suspicion. Nevertheless, everyone knew how awful it felt to suffer a major setback and to be responsible for the death of so many others. For that reason, Aurors tended to be more understanding toward their colleagues.

"I don't know why she didn't come, but her situation's not at all comfortable," Sturgis remarked. "The population's putting lots of pressure on Bennett, and he will be forced to investigate several of his friends. I heard he's not happy about it."

"You don't think - he couldn't be involved, could he?" John asked shakily, as if he had never contemplated the possibility before. Everyone feigned shock, as expected; but, in truth, it was the foremost concern on most people's minds.

"He's a model citizen," Frank reprimanded him at once. "He has no reason to get involved in something so low."

Sirius shrugged. "Money. Power."

"He wouldn't go as far as to form an alliance with the Dark Side!" Alice Longbottom, Frank's wife, exclaimed. "His wife is my cousin thrice removed, and he's a close relative. I know Carl Bennett. I don't like him, but I know that he would never do such a terrible thing."

Sirius Black was no idealist. Trusting other wizards, especially respectable "pure-bloods" like himself, wasn't his forte. If some annoying Muggles were a nuisance to both sides, why wouldn't they ally? It was only natural.

"He has some principles!" Alice continued. "Bennett is the Minister - if we can't trust him we can't trust anyone."

"But we can't," Sirius retorted. "Surely you've learned that by now!"

Sturgis seemed hesitant. "I'd sooner believe Crouch had done something like that. Bennett cares too much about his precious investments to risk such a dangerous liaison."

"Crouch is a bit too cruel most of the time, but he hates the Dark Side with every fibre of his being," defended Caradoc Dearborn, an Order member who had come alone despite being one year younger than the rest. No one had noticed that yet. "In case you haven't noticed, he is entirely against any sort of compromise."

Everyone had to agree.

"Don't you guys think it a little weird that so many of the passengers in that flight just happened to be influential, rich businessmen? Do you remember that a few of them had connections to the wizarding world and were perfectly aware of its existence?" Sirius taunted. "Come on, I'm no strategist, but that shows an interesting bit of planning, doesn't it?"

"There's no denying that it wasn't a coincidence," Caradoc intervened. "It comes down to two options: one, the information was corrupted by them somehow, before it got to us. If so, there's a serious flaw, and we have to find out how they did it. Two, we have a traitor in our ranks. It's really that simple."

It was not a pleasant thing to hear.

"There is a third possibility," Alice quietly suggested. "They could have simply failed."

A brief silence followed her words, and each person reflected on that somewhat comforting possibility. Could a good team of Aurors let several Muggles die just because the mission planning hadn't been effective? Was the improvisation capability of the wizards involved simply not good enough?

Even accepting that, one question remained: why had the team faced so much unforeseen opposition in the field in first place?

"That could be it, but it doesn't seem likely," Frank replied honestly.

"Cyrus and I have never been the best of friends, but I know that he's good at what he does," Sirius agreed. "Those Aurors were forced to act like Bernie the Blind Beater out there! I refuse to believe that the blame was entirely theirs, if at all."

"Then who could be the traitor?" John asked, frowning.

Silence.

No one knew for sure, but one thing was certain: it could be anybody. As far as they knew, it could be one of the people standing right there.

No one was safe. No one could be trusted.

.................................................

A/N - I've been neglecting Portkey for a while, haven't I? *sighs* I'm sorry.

Well, from now on, I will update here as regularly as possible. I will probably keep uploading chapters to fanfiction.net if the fucking nazis don't delete my account for writing songfics… But when the website I'll share with amazing authors like Solarism, Sarinileni, erak, Y. Kuang and others gets ready, I will most likely stop posting everywhere but there.

There, I've said it; I'm a bloody wanker, and I'm royally pissed off at ff.net's bitchiness. That's that.

-Chris