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Hopelessly Addicted
Chapter 15
"Can't Fight The Moonlight"
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We are following through every dream and every need
And it really doesn't matter if we don't eat; it really doesn't matter if we never sleep
No, it really doesn't matter, really doesn't matter at all
'Cause we are so young now, we are so young, so young now
And when tomorrow comes, we'll just do it all again…
The Corrs, "So Young"
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"Are you ready?"
Lily turned and grinned at her friend's appearance. Leylann's short black hair had been lengthened a bit, reaching her shoulders, and she was wearing a simple black dress. She had obviously had no patience to gussy up - not an unusual occurrence.
Lily, on the other hand, had spent the better part of the last hour in front of the mirror, trying to decide what to wear. She had not brought many items of clothing to Leylann's house, and that of course meant that she had been obliged Apparate to France and back several times in order to make a passable choice.
"I am," she replied, checking the mirror one last time.
Leylann grinned. "Oh, but Mrs. Potter, you look way too slutty! As one of the 'most respected and distinguished, strong women in Britain nowadays' -"
Lily shook her head with a grimace. "Would you please, PLEASE stop quoting that stupid article every five seconds?"
"I can't! You get so annoyed every time I do it! It's fun!"
Lily shook her head. Sometimes it was very, very easy to understand why Leylann and Sirius got along so well. "James and I really tried hard to influence that article, you know. We created this whole little story that wouldn't be too bad and would hopefully be appealing to Skeeter… but she still went and wrote something much worse than either of us had expected."
"Aw, no! All hail Rita Skeeter! She managed to portray you and James as an excessively liberal, but absolutely adorable couple. You couldn't hope for more than that!"
"According to her, we're both great Aurors, but I'm a slut and James is a player. And yet we love each other deeply. Moreover, we're considering expanding the family. I swear - that woman is insane."
"But you are a bit of a slut. And James is a bit of a player."
Lily scowled. "That's not the point. Plus, seriously, I haven't had sex in months! Before we broke up, I hadn't cheated on Alain since -"
"- since setting your sights on James. Oh, drop it, Lily. You were not cut out for monogamy, right?"
"Of course not! Marriage is an artificial institution and I despise it."
"This coming from someone who's been married for seven years…"
"What's wrong with that?"
Leylann sighed, and lay down on the bed. "Nothing."
"Good."
"I feel kind of sorry for Mrs. Fenwick, though. Skeeter totally absorbed her story, and she just got a small thank-you as a collaborator."
"Well, her portrayal of us was totally incompatible with Rita's."
"True. I still pity her, though."
"Yeah, well, what to do?"
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If you want me, let me know; I promise I won't say no (…)
If you want me, don't play games - I promise it won't be in vain
Follow your heart, your intuition - it will lead you in the right direction
Let go of your mind; your intuition is easy to find
Just follow your heart, baby…
Jewel, "Intuition"
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"So… Did you see? I kept this room pretty much the same way you left it. Actually, I'd been thinking about asking you… Why don't you move back to London? There's space here… You're not going back to France, and we both know it."
"Well… I have my own place there. It's better, I guess."
Leylann rolled her eyes. "The problem is that red painting in my living room, isn't it?"
Lily laughed. "Yes! I hate that thing!"
"I knew it! All right, I'll get rid of the damned painting. Anything else?"
"No. But… I don't know, Leylann. I don't want to simply leave my life behind…"
"You've already lost contact with most of your friends there, haven't you?"
"Yes, but -"
"The ones you still talk to will have no problem finding you here. Plus, it'll be easier to avoid Alain."
"Hmm, true."
"So, what do you say?"
"All right… I'll come."
Leylann beamed. "Great! It'll be just like old times!"
"Except that James will be around every once in a while… do you mind?"
"Of course not! Sirius might be around as well, you know. And Jason, actually."
Lily frowned, puzzled. "Jason?"
"Yeah, he's a Healer at St. Mungo's."
"What happened to Gabriel?"
"I found out he was married."
Lily grimaced sympathetically. "I'm sorry."
"Nah, it's fine. I didn't like him enough to justify any moping or anything. And then Jason asked me out to lunch today. That was great, because I hate taking the Sunday shift and I always need something to brighten up my day."
"What's he like?"
"Ooh, he's really nice… I - he -"
"Oh!" Lily realised suddenly. "Are you talking about Mr. Green Eyes?"
Leylann smiled sheepishly. "Yes…"
"He asked you out? Whoa! You've had your eye on him for ages!"
"Yeah! It was so great…"
Lily grinned. Leylann's love life was so… normal! Why couldn't she have one just like that?
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I don't expect my love affairs to last for long
Never fooled myself that my dreams would come true
Being used to trouble, I anticipated, but all the same I hate it! (…)
Time and time again, I've said that I don't care
That I'm immune to gloom, that I'm hard through and through
But every time it matters, all my words desert me…
Evita Soundtrack, "Another suitcase in another hall"
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"Anyway, we should go."
"No, let's wait a bit more. I don't want to get there too early."
Leylann threw her a funny look. "The house is definitely already full… Why don't you want to get there now?"
"I - don't know, Julia's not there, and James… I don't know. I don't want to rush things."
Leylann laughed. "Rush things? Oh, please! You've been killing yourself the whole week because you couldn't be with him!"
"What, am I supposed to consider it normal for a guy to come and lay down beside me in the middle of the night? Especially when we both knew that we couldn't do anything other than just fool around discreetly? It was mean!"
"Well, I wouldn't consider giving him head under that Invisibility Cloak a very wise decision either. Anyone could've seen you guys!"
Lily grinned.
"It's like you're addicted to him! You can't spend a day without talking to him, thinking about him, being with him… Seriously, it's a bit preoccupying. This can't be normal, Lily."
"I need him, that's all. You have no idea what it's like to dream about someone for so long… Once I have him, things will be more normal, I promise. It's just - you're right, I'm… addicted," Lily stated with a sly grin. "I've got to have my fix of him."
"I know."
"He seems to be under the impression that I'll shag him tonight."
Leylann stared at her with genuine disbelief. "You won't?"
"I don't know. Maybe."
"Honestly, Lily, if you don't… Then you're most definitely mental. Enjoy the opportunity, for goodness' sake. It's not that big a deal."
"No, it isn't. It's just that we've been waiting for such a long time… Ugh. I'm afraid we'll end up being thrown in that downward spiral of expectations and feelings and commitment… Merlin knows I can't handle that."
"I think you should stop worrying about that. Truthfully, if you still have feelings for him, you'll realise it sooner or later, and there's nothing you can do about it. So come on, relax!"
"I don't know… I'm just not sure …"
"After everything you two have already done, after this cat-and-mouse chase that's driven us all insane… It's ridiculous to have second thoughts."
"Yeah, I know that's what it looks like, but it was… it was just like a game all along! And, and now it's suddenly serious… I shouldn't - no, I won't go."
"What?"
"I just - well, I'll see him tomorrow morning at work, and we'll talk."
"Lily… You know as well as I do that James will forget all about the party if he sees me coming in alone! He'll come and get you, no doubt about it."
"Not if you don't tell him where I am, he won't."
"But - but… Merlin, you're complicated. Think about it, Lily. You're going to regret it if you don't go."
Lily frowned, and hesitated before admitting, "I've never felt like this before! I'm scared, all right? I'm just… I know James isn't like all the others. And come on, you don't need to tell me to take one-night-stands lightly! I am a bit of a slut, but I do all that to prove to myself that I don't care… And, and with him I do care. I wonder if he'll just dump me after tomorrow morning! I worry that he'll value Julia more after shagging me! I - he makes me think about the future, and that scares me!"
"Lil -"
"In the past few years, I've only gotten involved with guys who loved me more than I did them. But James… he doesn't love me, either. How can I know he won't treat me like - just one more girl?"
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If there's a prize for rotten judgement, I guess I've already won that
No man is worth the aggravation - that's ancient history, been there, done that
(Who do you think you're kidding? He's the earth and heaven to you) (…)
Oh, no chance, no way, I won't say it! (You swoon, you sigh, why deny it?)
It's too cliché, I won't say I'm in love…
Hercules soundtrack, "I won't say (I'm in love)"
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Leylann could have used the obvious he's-crazy-about-you approach, but she decided not to do so. "Why don't you want to be treated like any other girl?"
Lily looked at her, surprised. "Does anyone like to be treated that way?"
"Well, you've treated many guys that way, and vice-versa. Your behaviour towards most of them justified that treatment. They didn't care, and neither did you. But this is different. You care. And rest assured that James knows you well enough to see that. He cares, too. You two might not love each other anymore - or maybe you do, and you're just in denial, who knows? -, but you obviously care a lot about each other."
"But -"
"You're not just after the physical, Lily, and we both know it. James is more than just a guy to you - he represents the happiest year of your life. That's what you really want. You want to be happy again. You don't like living the way you do now - despite all the crap you say, you are pro-commitment, and you do dream about Mr. Right just like any other girl. And that's what he is to you."
"James is not Mr. Right! I don't want to be with him for good! Goodness, Leylann, I do want to settle, but not any time soon!"
Leylann grimaced. "Just tell me something then, Mrs. Potter. Why weren't you at all bothered about this marriage? Why didn't you rush to get a divorce?"
Lily shrugged.
"What would you say if James wanted to give your marriage a try, for real?"
"I would - I would try to dissuade him."
"Why?"
"Because we'd break up eventually, and it would -"
"So you won't get involved with James just because you're afraid of being away from him?"
"Well, basically, yeah."
Leylann sighed. "I suppose it's too much to ask of you to ignore your fear and insecurity and just go to his birthday party, right?"
"If I knew the answer to that question, we would already be there."
"Let's just go, then. If you change your mind, you can just say happy birthday to Sirius and leave."
Lily chuckled - they both knew she would do no such thing. "All right, let's go."
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Says he wants you, he says he needs you
It's real talk, then why not make him wait for you?
If he really wants you, if he really needs you, really got to have you
Take your time and feel him out…
Christina Milian, "Dip it low"
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"I shouldn't be here," Lily muttered.
Leylann rolled her eyes. "Come on, Lil! Regardless of… everything, James is your work colleague, and you two have known each other for years. You had to come to his birthday. Plus, it's Sirius' party too, and he'd be crushed if you didn't come."
"Oh, whatever," she shrugged, knocking on the door. "If you take too long, I'll leave without you."
"All right. I don't know if Sirius already has set his sights on anyone for the night, but, if not, I'll stay."
Sirius opened the door, grinned broadly and gave Leylann a quick kiss. "Oh, it's you two! Took you long enough! Come on, come in. Baby - would you mind giving Lily the house tour?"
"Of course not."
Someone shouted Sirius' name and he went back inside. Lily threw Leylann a Look.
"What?" she said innocently. "I come here at least twice a month… I know the place pretty well by now!"
Lily shook her head, grinning.
She entered and spotted him at once. He was in the middle of the room, surrounded by a bunch of friends, including the three other Marauders.
James was talking, and everyone around him was laughing. Well, he had always enjoyed being the centre of attentions. Telling jokes, making friends, chatting, flirting… He was a natural.
For a brief moment, they made eye contact. He nodded slightly and smiled at her. Lily grinned as well. She knew that smile of his… There was no way she was leaving that apartment tonight.
"Come on," Leylann said, yanking Lily's arm.
She obediently followed her friend.
"This hallway leads to Sirius' bedroom and a bathroom," she explained, pointing. "That's the kitchen door, and that hallway leads to James' suite."
"All right."
"Okay then."
Lily grinned. "Thanks for the tour."
Leylann caught the sarcasm and smiled. "What? Do you want me to take you to each of the rooms? Go on and take a peek yourself if you're that curious."
"I'm not complaining!"
"I'm not going to argue. Any more questions?"
Lily sighed. This was going to be a long night; Leylann was definitely going to abandon her for Sirius.
Lily didn't feel like chatting with anyone, but she didn't want to leave, either.
"Where are the drinks?" she asked at last.
Leylann pointed to the table, which held glasses, many cups of Butterbeer, and several bottles of wine, champagne, vodka, and Firewhisky.
"You're out on the piss, aren't you?"
"Definitely. Oh, do me a favour - if you see me doing anything stupid, please let me know."
"'Let you know'? Shouldn't I stop you?"
"Er… no," Lily said with a malicious grin. "Just remind me of the fact that I'll regret it tomorrow morning."
She walked away, and Leylann watched her with amusement. After a few seconds, she glanced at James. He was quite far away, but his eyes were obviously following Lily's every movement.
Well, they were both grown-ups… They had obviously already made their decision - it was bound to happen sooner or later anyway.
Would they regret it tomorrow morning?
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All this tension telling me just exactly what we should be
Now, I don't mind us being some kind of casual thing
Listen, all I wanna do right now is have your contact on me
Put your hands on my waistline, want your skin up against mine
Move my hips to the baseline - let me get mine, you get yours
Hang a 'please, don't disturb' sign…
Christina Aguilera, "Get Mine Get Yours"
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Several glasses later, Lily started examining the corkboard hanging in James' hallway. There were several pictures pinned to it - most of which she'd instantly recognised.
She'd taken most of those during their seventh year. James had carefully avoided putting up any pictures of her, but all the other Marauders were there. There was even a photo showing the Evanses' living room, decorated for Christmas…
She remembered that Christmas day well. That had been the first time one of Lily's boyfriends had spent the night at their house… And, strangely enough, the Evanses had loved James, despite the fact that he was about to steal her away from them.
Her cup was still full. Ordinarily, Lily would have taken several minutes to drink it; if anything, living in France had taught her how to appreciate wine. But tonight she wasn't in the mood to act French; all she wanted was to get drunk. Really drunk.
Lily was about to empty her glass when she heard someone approaching. She didn't need to turn to know who it was - like hell she'd ever mistake his footsteps for anyone else's.
"Hey," James said.
The tension between them seemed heavier than usual now. Lily turned and met his gaze, unflinching. She wasn't afraid of doing that anymore - there was nothing in her eyes he didn't already know.
"I took most of those pictures," she said, pointing at the corkboard behind her with the glass.
"I know."
His eyes finally darted to the wine, and he grinned.
"I've been watching you, Lil. You've been drinking all night - you'd better stop before you do anything… imprudent."
Lily bit her lip, making a quick (and imprudent)decision: she lifted her glass and drank it all in one gulp. She put the glass on the floor and faced him.
She looked into his eyes, grinning naughtily now. Her intentions were completely unambiguous; there was no way he could misinterpret that look.
"Oh no," he muttered, getting aroused despite himself. Despite himself? Oh, who was he kidding? James had been dreaming of this for days - weeks!"Don't tempt me…"
Lily's hands slid up his chest and rested on his shoulders, but she didn't come any closer. When he tried to pull her to him, she resisted - and that grin was still on her face.
"I'm drunk, James," she explained, feigning an indifference they both knew was a façade. "You wouldn't want to… take advantage of that, would you?"
He decided to play by her rules. All right, Lily liked to feel in control of the situation every once in a while. He didn't mind… provided that the outcome was satisfactory, of course.
"I wouldn't mind," he replied, holding her waist firmly.
She cocked her head to the side, watching him playfully. "And the house is full, too… You wouldn't want to have your guests wondering why you've disappeared, would you?"
"I honestly don't care."
He leaned his face closer to hers, but Lily backed off again.
"James," she reprimanded mockingly, smelling a slight trace of alcohol on his breath. "You're drunk too. You shouldn't -"
"You're practically against the wall now, Lil," he noted with a grin, ignoring her feeble protests. "Nowhere to go."
Lily saw that he was right, but that didn't bother her at all. In truth, she was feeling way too anxious about this whole thing; she couldn't wait much longer. She could feel his yearning in his eyes and voice - yearning, and urgency. He wanted her now… And Lily wanted nothing more than to oblige him.
"I'm not going anywhere," she said, her voice quivering slightly.
The tension was all gone; by now, they both needed it too much to go slow. She didn't resist when James pinned her to the wall. She leaned on it as he started kissing her neck. Lily pressed her body against his, quickly unbuckling his belt.
The last thing either of them wanted was to remember was that anyone else existed, but they were in a hallway, so within seconds a voice interrupted them.
"Prongs!" yelled Sirius from the living room. His voice got alarmingly closer. "Prongs!"
James exhaled heavily and let go of Lily. She couldn't help but laugh when she saw the enraged look on his eyes. His only response was a half-smile.
Sirius arrived ten seconds afterwards. At first, he was puzzled by James' murderous expression, but then he took in the entire scene: the couple's dishevelled appearance, the obvious bulge in Prongs' pants and the smirk on Lily's face… Oh, boy.
"They - er… want to sing 'Happy Birthday.'"
James closed his eyes for a second, trying to prevent himself from snapping.
"Should I tell them to shove it up their arses?" asked Sirius with a grin.
Lily grinned back, and even James cracked a smile. They all knew that was precisely what he wanted to say right now.
"No," he replied. "No, tell them I'll be there in a few minutes."
"All right. And, Lily? You're coming with me," Sirius ordered. "Go take a cold shower, Prongs; we'll be waiting for you."
He grabbed Lily's arm firmly and led her away from James.
"I honestly hope you know what you're doing," Sirius muttered.
"Not really… I'm completely sloshed," she said with a grin.
"Oh. Well, he hasn't stopped drinking since you arrived, so I'm pretty sure he is, too."
"I noticed."
"Are you sure you're going to make this decision… drunk? I mean, it's an important step for both of you. Right?"
She faced him, annoyed. "Why?"
"What do you mean?"
"Why does it have to be 'an important step'? Can't James and I just have a simple one-night stand, no strings attached? Why does it have to be so complicated?"
Sirius shrugged. "You two are always complicated."
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You can try to resist, try to hide from my kiss
Don't you know that you can't fight the moonlight?
Deep in the dark, you'll surrender your heart
Don't you know that you can't fight the moonlight?
No, you can't fight it; no matter what you do, the night is gonna get to you
You're gonna know that I know - don't try, you're never gonna win…
LeAnn Rimes, "Can't Fight The Moonlight"
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"They make a cute couple," Lily noted, staring at Remus and Sylvie dancing together.
"Remus is such a good dancer," said Leylann. "You can tell he captivates any girl he dances with."
"Oh, good for him," snapped James, visibly irritated. Being constantly surrounded by friends was forcing him to behave around Lily. Oh, she knew perfectly well he was trying to corner her, but she seemed to enjoy tormenting him.
"Somebody needs to get some," muttered Sirius, grinning.
James glowered. "Your Bloody. Fault," he said under his breath.
Sirius' grin broadened.
Dorcas and Marlene approached them. "Bye, you guys."
"Leaving so soon?"
"I have to… I have a date," Dorcas explained with a smile.
"And I want to get to work early tomorrow, so I can't stay long. Sorry!"
"No problem. See you tomorrow, bye."
After watching the two girls walk away, the group stood at more or less the same time. Sirius went to the door to say goodbye to everyone who was leaving. Leylann went to the kitchen, where she started mixing marguerites. Lily and James were left alone, in a rather empty area of the living room.
He grabbed Lily's waist and pulled her closer.
"Everyone's leaving; we should wait a bit more," she mumbled, looking into his eyes.
"Lil -"
"Just a few minutes…"
"You're being sadistic," he complained. "Come on, I know you want this as badly as I do."
She grinned. "I'm going to be here for a while… What's the rush?"
"You're just doing this to torture me, aren't you?"
Catching him by surprise, Lily kissed him. She wasn't gentle or soft; her kiss let him know she also felt his desire and urgency. She was merely trying to control her impulses, putting to good use all those self-control mechanisms they'd learned from Auror training… James would certainly prefer it if she didn't use him as guinea pig.
"We've been waiting for this for so long… I don't want to do it in a hurry, afraid of someone interrupting us at any time."
He sighed resignedly. She had a point. "All right. But just so you know - it's likely that some of them will want to stay and talk for a few hours."
She frowned, and seemed to vacillate.
James smirked. "No, we'll wait."
Lily threw him a look, and he laughed.
"You're worth it, Lil. Come on - let's go mingle a bit."
"I need a Sobering Charm," she said suddenly, reaching for her wand.
He nodded, and followed suit. "I could use one, too."
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I know you - I'll show you
You and only you can make me feel the way I do
You and only you can make it better
You and only you can do the freaky things you do
And I'm so into you that it's forever and ever
All my life, my love's been waiting for you…
Mariah Carey, "All my life"
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"I have an idea. Let's play 'I never!' Each of us has to tell something they've never done, and would never do, under any circumstances. And if anyone's done that, they have -"
James groaned. "Not that again, Peter… You always end up saying - and Remus will have to admit - well, no."
Peter shrugged. "Okay, then I won't start. Why don't you start, Remus?"
"I've never… Merlin… Um. All right. I've never cheated on someone."
Sylvie, Lily, James, Sirius, and Leylann sniggered and emptied their glasses without hesitation.
"Goody-two-shoes," Lily muttered, and sighed. "I've never…" she paused to throw Leylann a nasty look, "made out with a teacher just for the grade."
Leylann laughed and took the shot happily. Sirius followed suit.
It was James' turn.
"I've never kissed a man," he said simply, watching with amusement as the girls and Sirius downed their shots.
"Honestly, Sirius," said Leylann, her voice slightly slurred, "is there anything you haven't done?"
"Oh, yes. I've never… been submissive."
Lily, James, and Leylann hurried to drink a bit more.
"I've… never…" Leylann hesitated. With a malicious glance at Lily and James, she continued, "fallen in love with one of my worst enemies."
The couple laughed and took one more shot.
"I've never been in a threesome," Peter piped up.
Remus laughed. Lily and James, once more, were the first to down their shots, soon followed by Leylann and Sirius. "Really, you guys -"
"Oh, shut up, Moony," said James, sticking out his tongue. "Just because you're conservative… it doesn't mean everyone else has to be!"
Remus shrugged. "Sylvie?" he asked, looking at the girl beside him.
She took a deep breath and seemed thoughtful for a few seconds. "Okay, whatever, this'll have to do. I had a boyfriend once… He wanted us to have sex in a public bathroom. I basically told him, 'no way.' I ended up breaking up with him just because of that. There. I've never slept with anyone in a public bathroom."
"Oh, I would never do that, either," Remus said.
"Why not?" Lily asked.
"What do you mean, 'why not?'" Sylvie sputtered. "It's disgusting! Wait… Have - have any of you done that already?"
Sirius and Leylann emptied their glasses in near unison.
Lily threw James a look, and he smirked. With a smile, she drank all the wine in her glass and he swigged one more dose of Firewhisky.
Sylvie grinned. "Respectively - Sirius with Leylann, Lily with James?"
Leylann laughed. "Yes, while we were still at school."
"By 'public bathroom' you mean 'Hogwarts bathroom,' then."
"No, of course not," Lily replied. "Hogsmeade - the Three Broomsticks. Or was it the Hog's Head?"
"The Hog's Head," said Sirius. "How could you possibly forget that day, Lily?"
"What, you guys planned to do it together or something?" Sylvie sputtered. "You did it at the same time?"
Leylann and Lily's eyes met, and the former nodded. "Go ahead."
"Well, Sirius and James tend to have the same… ideas," Lily clarified. "So we kind of had to talk about some of that stuff beforehand. Unfortunately, this specific thing was kind of… spontaneous. So we couldn't actually avoid meeting each other until it was too late."
"Oh my God," Sylvie said, shocked. "When did this happen?"
Leylann and Sirius shrugged. Lily and James tried their best to recall; they knew it couldn't be very hard - they hadn't been together that long, after all.
"Definitely seventh year," he muttered slowly. "After Christmas."
She smirked. "Indeed, that's a very smart guess, Sherlock, considering no one knew we were dating until Christmas."
"Well, it's a start."
"Something else probably happened that day," she said all of a sudden. "I'm too sloshed to remember what, but I'm sure it was something important."
"Well, genius, things usually happened after we spent the day at Zonko's," James stated, his eyes twinkling with amusement. Abruptly, he sat up straight. "Oh… I remember now."
She raised a sceptic eyebrow. "You do?"
"January 18."
"How -"
"That prank."
The three other Marauders guffawed. "Would you mind being a little vaguer, please? This is us we're talking about, Prongs!" exclaimed Sirius.
James, however, wasn't paying attention to them. His gaze and Lily's had locked. She, too, had remembered.
"That prank," she said softly. "With that detention…"
Lily sighed, and he grinned.
"Yes, exactly. You're right."
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I don't wanna stop just because people standing around watching us
I don't give a damn what they think; I want you now
I don't wanna stop, just because you feel so good inside of my love
I'm not gonna stop, no, no… I want you; all I wanna say is
Any time, any place, I don't care who's around…
Janet Jackson, "Any Time, Any Place"
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The others were finding Lily and James' exchange, though obviously entertaining, too obscure for their liking.
"We're in the dark here, you guys," said Remus. "Enlighten us, please."
Lily and James were smiling broadly now, trying hard not to laugh.
"Well, we played a prank that evening, after returning from Hogsmeade," James started.
"Yes, we kind of had already understood that part. Which prank?"
"They put a potion in everybody's juice," Lily explained. "With an age limit, because they didn't want the younger students to feel its effects."
"Oh!" Sirius cried suddenly, smacking his thigh. "Of course… How could I forget?"
"It was a memorable prank!" Peter exclaimed. "One of our best!"
Remus was still confused, and looked at James, who was sitting beside him. "Which prank?"
"The Great Hall temperature was slowly brought to almost forty degrees," Lily continued. "And the Marauders oh-so-kindly transfigured their girlfriends' clothes into bathing suits - you know, so that the other girls would follow. They did, and most of the sixth and seventh-year boys were wearing similar fashions before long, as well."
Sylvie giggled, comprehension dawning slowly on her face. "And what did they put in the juice?"
"Aphrodisiacs…"
"Lots and lots of them."
"And well… it worked."
Tears of mirth were rolling down James' cheeks now; he was laughing hysterically, as was everybody else. It wasn't hard to recall that memorable day when they'd seen all the teachers and most of the older students all over each other, wearing astonishingly small amounts of clothing. "The - the teachers - Dumbledore - Merlin, I'll never forget McGonagall's -"
"Flitwick -"
"And Hagrid!"
"Sprout and Kettleburn snogging…"
"I - I remember you two," Peter gasped, pointing an accusatory finger at Lily and James, "getting hot and heavy right there, in the middle of the Great Hall."
Lily took a deep breath and tried to stop laughing; her eyes were twinkling. "Yeah, I remember that, too."
"But you knew there was potion in the juice! Why did you drink it?" Sylvie asked.
She shrugged. "We were seventeen… We knew perfectly well what would happen if we drank it, but - well, we just wanted to have fun."
James caught Lily's eye, grinning. She knew he was thinking about their little rendezvous in his hallway - had either of them stopped thinking about it since then?
"We got a detention," Peter piped up. "And the teachers were too embarrassed to assign it themselves, so the Head Girl had to choose… Oh, I remember that detention."
James laughed. "There was nothing memorable about your detention, Peter."
Lily grinned. "I told him to tidy up the common room, that's all… But even using magic, it took him a while."
"Sirius had to snog a Gryffindor girl, I think," Leylann said. "He didn't pick me, and I was very offended."
"Correction! I had to pick a girl whom I hadn't touched in at least one month, not even during the prank earlier that day. That wasn't your case, dearest."
"Oh… all right then."
"Fastest detention ever," Remus stated. "Mine only lasted… what, ten minutes? James', on the other hand… He didn't show up until after dawn."
"Oh, I remember," James said, glancing at Lily.
She smiled naughtily. "Me too."
…………..…………..………………….
I'm so sick of fights, I hate them… Let's start this again for real
So here I am, I'm trying; so here I am - are you ready?
Come on, let me hold you, touch you, feel you, always…
Kiss you, taste you all night - always…
Blink-182, "Always"
…………..…………..………………….
"I've noticed you two don't argue when you're drunk," Sylvie said. "Maybe you should have a few drinks at the office every once in a while."
"Oh, James gets nostalgic when he's drunk, that's why."
Remus looked pointedly at Lily. "And then he starts doing stupid things, right?"
"Right," James agreed cheerfully. "And Lily also likes doing crazy things when she's drunk, I remember that well."
Remus shook his head. James and Lily were definitely going to shag later on, and they were both very aware of it. The decision had probably been made while they were still clear-headed; they wouldn't be able to blame it on the alcohol… And what's more, they wouldn't even try.
"You two get more talkative, too," Sylvie continued. "You hardly ever mention your history together when you're sober."
"I told you, James gets nostalgic," Lily replied. "Whereas Peter, for example, gets quieter."
James looked at Peter, who was sitting beside him. The boy was visibly embarrassed. "Well, not always. Sometimes he just gets whiny. Plus, who made you the expert of our drunken behaviour, baby?"
The others watched Lily and James' overfriendly conduct with astonishment. When had he ever called her 'baby'? Boy, drinking sure had quite an effect on those two… Was it just the drinks, though?
She shrugged. "Go ahead, then. How do you guys behave when you're drunk?"
"Oh, I'm usually too arseholed to notice."
Lily narrowed her eyes and shook her head.
"Sirius gets horny after a few drinks," Leylann remarked. "He can't keep his hands off a girl."
"What about guys' night out? What does he do then?"
"Well, he either doesn't drink that much, or - more likely - he chats a girl up and completely forgets that it's 'guys' night out,'" Remus replied.
"But then again, Sirius can never keep his hands -"
"Leylann, on the other hand," Sirius interrupted with a broad grin, "gets very… creative when she's drunk."
"Wait, I thought Lily was the one who got creative," Peter said, frowning. "Right, Prongs?"
James smiled. "I figured she'd be mad if I mentioned it."
"Oh, I see…"
Sylvie drank the rest of her glass and stood, already feeling a bit dizzy. She wanted to leave before getting sloshed herself. In a few minutes, no one would need to ask her what her behaviour was like. "Well, I should go now, you guys. Tonight was really fun."
She and Remus looked at each other for a second. "I'll - walk you home, then," he said softly.
"Ooh," Lily whistled, "Remus gets bold when he's drunk!"
He laughed good-naturedly and got up as well. "Good night, you guys."
They Apparated away, and the others were silent. After a few seconds, Leylann found her way to Sirius' lap, and they started snogging, much to everyone else's discomfort.
"Hey, get a room, you two," Peter complained.
Sirius turned to look at him. "All right then. Shall we?"
"Yeah," she said, standing. Then she looked soberly at Lily. "You asked me to warn you -"
"Yeah, okay."
"Are you sure?"
Lily nodded.
Leylann seemed to hesitate for a second, and then quickly cast a Sobering Charm on Lily and James. "Just to be safe. Good night."
They grinned. "Good night."
Sirius took Leylann to his room. Peter, Lily, and James were the only ones left.
"So…"
"So."
The couple stared at Peter for a while. He was sipping a glass of wine, completely oblivious to their predicament.
…………..…………..………………….
My heart aches with a hunger
And the want that you were mine - no, I cannot deny…
So for one night, is it all right that I give you my heart, my love, my heart?
Just for one night, my body, my soul
Just for one night, my love, my love, for one night…
The Corrs, "One Night"
…………..…………..………………….
"Wormtail!" James exclaimed suddenly.
That finally caught his attention. "Yeah?"
"Bugger off!"
"What?"
"Get lost - go do… something. Whatever."
He blinked several times, staring at the couple. "But… why?"
James exhaled exasperatedly, waiting for him to take the hint.
After a moment, Peter got the message. His eyes widened and he gaped at Lily and James. "Oh - you two - you want me - oh…"
Lily grinned, and shook her head amusedly.
Peter Disapparated, and James turned to face her.
"He's a bit thick sometimes."
"I know. Do you reckon Sirius is leaving his room any time soon?"
"We can stay here," he said with a smile she knew all too well. "Does the idea of being caught bug you?"
Lily's gaze travelled from his lips to his chest, arms, and, finally his eyes. They seemed darker now, more intense. There was no mistaking what she read there…
There would be no more teasing tonight. They wanted to end the chase. Neither had ever felt urgency this overpowering before.
"Not really, no." Lily laughed softly. "Can you believe we actually managed to resist for this long?"
"It was torture," he admitted with a grin. "But you're mine now."
"Well -"
"Tonight," he interrupted, pulling her closer, "you're all mine."
Helpless, unable and unwilling to fight James' influence over her, Lily let him have her. For once, she wasn't at all worried about the consequences of their actions, or whether she'd fall in love with him after tonight. She didn't care - she couldn't care less.
Tonight, she was James', body, heart, and soul.
…………..…………..………………….
Like a movie scene in the sweetest dream, I have pictured us together
Now to feel your lips on my fingertips, I have to say it's even better
Than I ever thought it could possibly be: it's perfect, it's passion, it's setting me free
(…) Take my breath away, love me now, leave me never
Found a sacred place lost in your embrace; I want to stay in this forever…
Jennifer Lopez, "Waiting for tonight"
…………..…………..………………….
The feeling of James' lips on hers was as consuming as ever. Lily couldn't possibly comprehend why his touch was always more intense and always provoked reactions more passionate than any other man's. Her mind was an obscure and confused muddle, yielding entirely to James' charm, and she couldn't help but admit that it felt completely natural.
James' hand roamed under her blouse, and his kisses became more demanding. Lily unzipped his pants blindly and lowered them; she then slipped her hand inside James' boxers. He groaned as she started feeling and lightly pinching him.
James kissed her neck, sucking on a spot that would definitely become a hickey. He soon started biting her shoulder, undoing with his teeth the knot that held her blouse in place, and letting it fall to her waist.
He gently pushed her to the floor. Lily just lay there, her fiery red hair messily surrounding her pearly-white visage, her chest heaving with fast breathing, looking at him, waiting, expecting.
Lily usually liked to take the lead, but right now she just didn't care. James was the only man who had ever tamed her like this, mercilessly keeping her under his control, subject to his fascination - and yet she had never before felt this wanted, desired, desperately needed…
James lowered his head and took one nipple into his mouth; she moaned, arching her back slightly. He knew she loved it when he did this, and he loved doing it. One of his hands was still caressing her upper body, while the other got rid of her underwear. She ran her fingers through his hair and down his back, appreciating fully the feeling of his body on hers… No, something that felt this right couldn't possibly be wrong…
James slid a finger inside her, and started stroking. Merlin… He was moving slowly, as if he were deliberately trying to make her go insane… Another finger... And then he moved slowly, teasingly slowly... Faster... And then slowly again...
"James, please…" she moaned, nearly crying out in frustration, moving her hips closer to his.
Lily needed him! Didn't he know it? Couldn't he feel it? Why didn't he -
Before she knew it, James was inside her, and all other thoughts evaporated from her mind. Yes, this was right, this was good, God, yes…
James thrust again and again. Lily clutched his back fiercely, digging her nails deep into his flesh, but he didn't seem to mind the pain. His hand held her shoulder, and her legs pressed hard against his sides. She moved her hips slowly to allow him more space to move, and he buried his head in her neck.
"Lily," he moaned hoarsely, barely holding it anymore. "Lily…"
He was about to come when he remembered, Merlin knows how -
"Fuck," James muttered suddenly, clenching his jaw and mustering all his self-control to restrain himself. "I forgot -"
Lily caught on instantly, and didn't waste time. She reached for his wand, which fortunately lay within arm's reach.
"Non- nonconscipio," she mumbled. Lily wasn't completely sure she had pronounced the charm correctly, but it was quite a wonder that she had even managed to speak coherently.
The wand slipped from her fingers, and she grasped his shoulders with trembling hands. She could feel his heavy breathing on her chest; his brief hesitation didn't last long, and he thrust again, mumbling her name...
"James," she moaned, pulling him closer. "James… Hm, yes…"
It felt so natural to call his name… Why, why, how had she been away from him for so long? This was what she had always wanted; she belonged here, with him, like this… He thrust one final time, and then they couldn't take it anymore, coming in near unison.
James rested his head on her chest, breathing hard, and waited until they both calmed down a bit.
Lily brushed a few strands of hair off his sweaty forehead with a grin. "That was amazing," she said, looking at him. It had been nothing fancy - certainly not one of their strange Hogwarts "experiments"-, but it had been just what she needed. That is, just to get the night started, of course.
"It was," he agreed, idly stroking her thigh. "Can you stay?"
She smiled. "Do you want me to?"
James lifted his head to look at her. "I'm not quite sure," he mocked. "Let's see. I've been chasing after this gorgeous girl for weeks, and she's just given in to my advances. She's now lying in my living room, contemplating the possibility of a fantastically eventful night… Now, why on earth would I want her to stay?"
Lily chuckled. "All right, I'll stay."
…………..…………..………………….
Gotta hit that spot just right - work me like a 9 to 5
We have a physical thing: we make love, but don't fall in love
Let me get mine, you get yours…
We spend time just enough so you get yours, and I get mine
No strings attached - I want your body, not your heart…
Christina Aguilera, "Get Mine Get Yours"
…………..…………..………………….
James rolled over and lay beside her. Lily almost stopped him. She wanted him to stay inside her a bit longer; she wanted him to hold her - just this time… She wished that this closeness didn't have to end so soon…
'Stop it,' she scolded herself seriously. 'What we're doing tonight has nothing to do with - with that
He was now facing the ceiling. Without hesitation, Lily removed her skirt and blouse. James then beckoned her over, and she snuggled closer to him, resting her head in the crook of his arm. Their legs intertwined, and his fingers brushed her back lightly.
"You're beautiful," he whispered almost reverently, his gaze travelling from her body to her face, and focusing on her eyes. "So, so beautiful…"
Out of nowhere, a memory hit him, full force. The first time he and Lily had slept together, James had also told her he loved her for the first time. Why had things been so different back then? There was something, no doubt about it… Why had they changed? Why had life been so tough on them? Everything had once been so perfect, so idyllic…
"It's better this way, James," Lily said suddenly, looking into his eyes with understanding. "Of course it's different now, but - the emotional involvement just isn't worth it."
"There's more to sex than just 'making love,'" James said with a grin. "Right?"
She grinned as well. "Of course."
With sudden terror she fought hard to dissimulate, Lily admitted that this felt good. Being this close to James was pleasurable in a way that had nothing to do with sex, or physical craving. It made her mind all mushy, threatening to override her reasoning more than her instincts could ever do…
Right then, Lily decided soberly that she would never again allow herself to achieve this kind of intimacy with him. No more cuddling. She couldn't let her potential feelings get in her way - she would give them no room for development.
Her relationship with James was purely physical, period. She wanted his body, not his heart. They would make love, but not fall in love. No… they would never fall in love.
She was sure of it.
…………..…………..………………….
Gonna take it slow, babe, do it my way - keep your eyes on me
Your reaction to my action is what I want to see
Rhythmic motion, raw emotion, infiltrating through
Sweet temptations, hot sensations coming over you…
Jem, "Come on Closer"
…………..…………..………………….
Lily and James were calm for a while, just enjoying their peaceful contentment. She idly wondered whether she should make the first move, and admitted with a smile that he certainly wouldn't mind if she did.
Inhaling deeply, she closed her eyes. He had this indescribable male scent that she loved for some strange reason. When they were dating, Lily had used to wear his clothes all the time - it had made her feel safe somehow…
Funny, she hadn't thought of that in years… Well, it was useless to think about it now.
James grinned when he felt Lily's body sliding over his with feline smoothness. She kissed his chest lightly and licked her way up to his neck - boy, the girl was good… His hands roamed around her back for a while, and he tried to push her aside so that he could stay on top, but she resisted.
He glanced questioningly at her, and she chuckled. Oh, no…
Her knees were around James' abdomen, firmly pinning him to the ground. Of course he could have effortlessly escaped that situation, but he could tell that, now that they weren't so avid and desperate anymore, Lily was in one of those moods. She wouldn't let him have his way without a struggle.
His hands made their way to her hips, forcefully pulling her down to him.
Lily tried to keep a careful distance, but he firmly held her once more and they kissed. She felt her resolve beginning to melt away and cringed inwardly. Would she ever manage to tease James for long enough? It was so ridiculously easy for him to bring down her defences!
She had never met a guy who kissed like this. His kisses were demanding, intense, promising… Lily wondered why she had never bothered to compare any other guy's soft pecks with the passionate snogging sessions she'd had so far with James. Any other girl might have preferred the former- James was hardly ever sweet and controlled - he relished intensity and ardour.
But then again… Lily didn't like taking things slow, either.
The thing was, James wasn't simply the best sex she'd ever had; the truth was that he was the perfect guy for her. They liked the same things, their tempers were complementary, and… In a weird way, it was as if he had shaped her into what she was today.
Lily had been somewhat inexperienced when she had begun dating him; he had taught her many things, and learned a lot from her as well. Their like-mindedness wasn't wholly natural - they had chosen to be this way, all those years ago…
It was foolish to think that she would get over him completely - that was clearly impossible. James was a part of Lily now; she had let him in way too far the last time, and now she was beginning to revive their bond with more intensity than ever.
James had said just a few minutes ago that she was his, and she had doubted him for a second. But she didn't, not anymore. Yes, she was his. She had always been his, from the very first time he had set eyes on her.
Yeah… Lily belonged to him. For thirteen years, James had moulded her character and her feelings into precisely what he wanted them to be. And now here she was - everything he'd ever wanted… She was the perfect girl for him, no doubt about it. He had chosen her, and she had been gullible enough to mirror his every expectation…
And now he needed her, just like she needed him. Lily knew perfectly well that what had brought them together again wasn't just lust… But it wasn't love - it couldn't be love… could it?
…………..…………..………………….
It's not complicated, we're just syncopated
We can read each other's minds, one love united (...)
Oh, this is way beyond the physical
Tonight, my senses don't make sense at all
Our imaginations taking us to places we've never been before...
Britney Spears, "Breathe on me"
…………..…………..………………….
"Wine?" he said all of a sudden.
Lily grinned and leaned back to reach for a bottle, a few inches away from his feet. Before she knew it, James was sitting up, his hands around her back. She threw him a puzzled look, but, after a second, she understood what was on his mind.
James smiled. He didn't need to say anything- they could always understand each other like this.
He leaned in to kiss her with surprising gentleness. What was it about this girl that drove him crazy? James could never tell. She was simultaneously aloof and fiery, classy and rough, frail and strong… Merlin, he loved her.
Not real love, mind you - or maybe it was even that, James wasn't sure… He just knew that he had never felt this way about any other woman. He needed Lily, in a strange and inexplicable way. Now that he had her, he never wanted to let her go.
James honestly couldn't imagine what it would be like to be away from her again. He would never let go of her - no matter what. He didn't care what she asked of him: if she wanted him to break up with Julia and be faithful to her, if they decided to grow old together… It didn't matter. He would do whatever it took to keep her by his side.
She pulled back a little and he gazed into her eyes for a moment. No, it wasn't just lust. There was something else between them… and James didn't mind that fact at all. His latent feelings were beginning to surface, and he felt light, so light…
James had Lily. He had her; she was his, entirely his… The past didn't matter anymore. She was his world; he didn't care about anything beyond this moment, and he never wanted it to end.
Smiling, he grabbed the bottle of wine, and gestured for her to lean back a little. James then started pouring wine on Lily slowly, almost reverently. The ticklish feeling of the drops trickling down her chest and abdomen was soon overwhelmed by his -
Oh… yes…
It was going to be a long night.
…………..…………..………………….
I don't know why, but suddenly I'm falling
Was I so blind? I was loving you all the time…
Now I'm hopelessly addicted, helplessly attracted
Chemically reacted, naturally we acted…
The Corrs, "Hopelessly Addicted"
…………..…………..………………….