Monday 21st April
Lake Day!
It was just as fun as the first one, with the added bonus of finding my shoes in the exact spot that I left them. Beatrice almost drowned trying to claw her way over to Remus, but Emily is quite fast with her wand and managed to withhold her, giving Remus ample time to escape. Beatrice said that whenever she sees his scars glistening in the water, her mind goes blank. I never thought that I'd hear anything as disgusting as Peter's descriptions of sex with Helena, but this has gone and surpassed even that. Beatrice needs to be locked away somewhere. Potter got in the water this time, too. He is a surprisingly good swimmer.
Sirius Black stayed safe on the grounds, because he is a dried up, boring old shit.
Emily and Rob went on a walkabout after we were all swimming (and I include about thirty other people in that `we'), so Bea and I sat under the oak tree and practiced our spellwork while Karl went searching for the Giant Squid (he didn't find him, incidentally). We made our Patronuses race and mine won, but that might just be because mine is a doe and Beatrice's is a goose. Mine would be naturally faster, wouldn't it? They caused quite a commotion actually, everybody was really impressed with our (may I say it, rare?) ability. I don't know why Potter started pointing and elbowing Remus in the ribs, though.
I wonder what Karl's Patronus is, if he has one. I am desperate to find out. It has to be better even than a goose. I'll ask him tomorrow.
Nothing much else happened today. Remus asked me again about Potter, but I informed him of my deadline. Potter has until Friday to act like a normal human around me at least once.
Still no Algernon. I miss him. And the food.
---
The current is lessening! Evans's Patronus is a doe!!! If this is not a sign we are meant to be together, I don't know what is. It was a good day in that I got to know her personality better (as in, it is completely complementary to mine), and I got to see Evans prancing about without a robe again. Remus and I discussed friendly, neutral topics I could bring up with Evans. My salmonhood is apparently not one of them. He suggested bringing up Algernon, and also said something about salmon going to Hogwarts.
Sirius, Peter, and I spent our free period plotting ways to get back at Snape. Too many of them have a corpse at the end.
Last detention with McGonagall. She told me straight out that I need to grow up and be sensible. It turns out I was only made Quidditch captain in the hopes of forcing me to be more responsible. What utter rubbish, I'm plenty responsible. Look at Algernon! I'm daftly responsible enough to pick him over the love of my life. I launched into an explanation of it, but McGonagall was having none of it. She went on about how she's at her wit's end with me. I felt bad for her, but I didn't know what to tell her. At least I got a biscuit out of the detention.
I won't regret picking Algernon if he brings me treacle likes he's supposed to.
Tuesday 22nd April
Remus told me last night that Potter is going to attempt to get to know me better. This can be the only explanation as to why he sat down next to me at breakfast and said absolutely nothing other than: `So your Patronus is a doe then, eh?' When I said yes, he just grinned weirdly at me and carried on eating his scrambled eggs, stopping occasionally to wink covertly at Black and Pettigrew, who were sitting across from us. I had the strangest and strongest desire to drop my bowl of porridge on to his head, but I desisted. If this is Potter trying to win me over, I may as well let him amble on. Also, his hair looked very nice. Too nice, in fact, to be desecrated by porridge. I finished my breakfast before him, and I told him that I would be hoping to see Algernon later, if he felt like bringing him down to the common room. I smiled at him too. Proof for Remus that I am being nice. Pity he wasn't there.
Peter was not in Herbology and neither was Helena!! EURGH! Also, Professor McGonagall kept shooting me strange and pitying looks in Transfiguration. I confess myself confused.
Karl does not have a Patronus. Beatrice and I are going to teach him how to do it. I bet it's an egg, or something.
---
Success, yet again! Evans and I had a short but pleasant conversation about Algernon. Her owl James is getting on well. I learned she loves bacon, too, which felt like a win for our future. I was tempted to tell her about my Animagus form in the hopes that learning we are meant for each other would prompt her to throw herself into my arms. Even I know better than that, though, especially when I would have to explain why I am an Animagus.
People are so convinced I'm irresponsible, but I, unlike Peter, have never skipped class to sleep with my girlfriend. Bollocks to those pessimists, I say.
Chatted with Sirius about the future. He also doesn't know what he wants to do. We decided we should get a flat together once our NEWTs are over, but that was as much planning as we could come up with. We threw out Herbologists and Potions masters as careers. Something where we get to curse people would be nice, but we couldn't think of a job where we get to do the damage, only undo it, which isn't nearly as fun.
Speaking of hexing, we've narrowed down Snape's comeuppance to two possible plans. I'm all for the coma one, but Sirius thinks it would be better to do it sooner than that. There are too many gaps in his plan, though. Peter came up with solutions to several of them, but I remain steadfast. My plan is worse, and therefore better.
Wednesday 23rd April
I saw Algernon last night. Potter brought him down to see me, and thankfully, he is learning to take hints, as he stayed with us and we had something resembling a conversation. I asked him how Algernon was doing, he asked me how James was doing, I told him that my owl is doing brilliantly, and then he asked me if I liked bacon. Sadly, I was not surprised by the turn in the discussion.
Apparently, Peter and Helena were caught `canoodling' together during Prefect Patrols. They were caught by Stephen Laurie and Paul Parker, from fifth year. They both have two weeks' worth of detentions. It serves them right, the randy little buggers. Are they just doing it all over the school now?! I thought that the Room of Requirement was sufficient for them? Beatrice says that I should be glad, because now I can use the Room with Potter. I hope she enjoys her dinner tonight. Ha. Ha ha ha.
I saw McGonagall in the corridor and she stopped to chat to me. She asked me if I had considered the possibility of being chosen as Head Girl, and I told her, of course, that I would love to be considered. According to her, as long as I continue in the same vein as I am now, I shouldn't have to worry. She is still regarding me with that pitying look, like I've fallen victim to some horrible disease. What is going on with her?
40 days since I last kissed Potter. I'm just saying!
---
Schadenfreude moment today when Peter and Helena were caught getting busy in a place so horrific I refuse to write it down. Padfoot and I had a good laugh at the poor sods who found them. Serves them right for being Prefects.
More debate over revenge. I've drawn Remus into the fold so because I know he'll take my side if I ask. I keep pointing out Sirius won't have enough time to enact his plan since he's only got a week and a half, whereas I've a couple of months to prepare everything. This will be the ultimate revenge. If he thinks it's all right to mess about with my Apparition tests….
Another chat with Evans this evening after Quidditch. She went on about how she would run things if she were Head Girl. I think she'd make an excellent Head Girl based on enthusiasm alone. She's dead responsible. I am, too, so we are well matched. I told her what McGonagall said about my captainship, but she laughed. I skillfully ended the conversation by saying I needed to go make a bacon sandwich, because that blow against my personality was uncalled for.
Thursday 24th April
I have decided to go all out in proving to Professor McGonagall that I would make a fitting Head Girl. I am going to spend tonight working out a plan and see what I come up with. Vera Clagg is a complete mess. She rarely ever schedules meetings, her patrol timetable is all over the place and she always forgets to send out the new portrait passwords to the other prefects. Roderick Maguire is just as bad, but I guess he just does everything that Vera tells him to. Couples should not be allowed to be Head Boy and Head Girl. It can only lead to chaos.
I talked to Potter for a little bit about my Head Girl policies last night, but I don't think he was listening. He just kept smiling and nodding at everything I said, and then he ended the conversation by going to get a bacon sandwich. And didn't even offer to get me one, some friend! Where is the chivalry in that?! And he's supposed to be a Gryffindor, pish! Emily is annoyed with McGonagall for her slight on Potter's Quidditch captain abilities. She says that Potter might be a few Sickles short of a Galleon, but he's a bloody good strategist.
Karl asked me today if food tastes differently to different people. Diary, I didn't know how to answer him. He wants his Patronus to be a beetle, and he won't listen when I tell him that you can't choose your Patronus, it's a reflection of something in you that most people can't explain. Karl then wanted to know why he couldn't have a beetle inside him. I gave up then.
Gah, Astronomy. I'm not in the mood for it tonight. Too tired.
---
Woke up with an amazing idea. After breakfast I marched up to Dumbledore's office and convinced the gargoyle to let me pass, then told the Headmaster straight out that I should be Head Boy next year. He was a bit surprised, but I explained how McGonagall had made me Quidditch Captain to make me more responsible, and that had worked - to an extent. Clearly the next step is for me to be Head Boy, I said. I've got dead good leadership abilities, and I know the ins and outs of Hogwarts better than anyone, save for probably the Headmaster himself. He said he'd take it into consideration, and that I might very well know the school better than he did.
I feel less like a salmon every day. Can't wait to tell Evans I'm Head Boy next year.
Friday 25th April
Astronomy was undoubtedly strange. I had what was, I think, the strangest chat with Potter ever. It went like this.
Potter: Hey Evans, Evans?
Me: What, Potter?
Potter: Guess who's just been made Head Boy for next year?
Me: Who?!
Potter: Me.
Me: (After a lot of gibberish and half-formed questions and blank stares) How do you know that?!
Potter: A little birdie told me. Nice map you've got there.
Then he winked at me and turned back to his own telescope. The world has gone mad. I am going to talk to McGonagall about this posthaste.
---
I caught up with McGonagall coming out of a fourth-year Transfiguration class. I asked her why on earth Potter had already been given the Head Boy title. She didn't speak for a while, but then she asked me if I thought it was a good idea. I don't, but I don't want to go slagging Potter off to Professors, so I said I did. Then she asked me if I had accepted any food off Potter lately. Once we asserted that I have not been given any kind of mind-addling substances by Potter, she informed me that Potter was probably lying in a bid to impress me. Apparently, he is pretty certain that he and I are going to get married. She suggested that somebody give Potter lessons in the art of wooing a girl. I wholeheartedly agreed with her.
It seems that I am lucky to have missed out on one of Potter's bacon sandwiches. I am going to point out his deliberate and foolish lie as soon as he gets back into the common room. I am most put out with him. At least McGonagall got a good laugh out of it.
Not much else to say, the day was rather Potter dominated. That is worrying, very worrying indeed.
---
Evans accused me of lying about Head Boyship, so I told her she could go and ask Dumbledore if she was so sure. As if I would lie about something like this. Word has apparently spread because McGonagall called me into her office after Herbology. I told her what I'd told Dumbledore, but she appeared more worried about it than he did. At least, I pointed out to her, it would help me in my goal of marrying Evans, and doesn't she want me to be happy and aid me in achieving the few ambitions I do have? I think she was happy enough that I'm going after anything, so she said she'd put in a good word with the Headmaster. Head Boyship is mine!
On the downside, plan to become Head Boy had unexpected side-effects. Sirius is convinced I've lost my mind, Remus is sure I will change my mind within a week, and Peter is happy because he thinks I'll be able to erase any detentions he get for being out with Helena. Bollocks to all of them! I know what I want. Her name is Evans.
My soon-to-be title is already affecting me: I felt more like Quidditch Captain than ever at practice today. May have gone overboard, as Wood dumped water on me afterwards and whacked me on the head. Practice makes perfect, I suppose.
Saturday 26th April
Potter had the nerve to tell me to go and ask Dumbledore about his stupid lie. As if I would! And look like a fool in front of Professor Dumbledore, of course. I'm sure that's his plan. But I'm too sharp for you, Potter. Oh, ask Dumbledore, indeed!
There is one thing that I can't bring myself to let go. At what point, I wonder, did he tell McGonagall that he wants to marry me? Because that might imply that is feelings for me are…strong? In existence? Maybe I should bring it up out of the blue, to embarrass him.
I have already started writing out basic patrol schedules, but I obviously can't do anything concrete. But I have figured out the knack of making sure that everybody gets an even rotation. Vera has this habit of making the fifth-years do everything, which is really unfair to them. Roderick should stand up to her and take control. They have equal titles, after all. And Headship is all about teamwork. I suppose Remus may end up Head Boy. Baxter Miggles would be a good choice too.
Hopefully the job won't be given to Oswald Fitz, because I know full well that he'll just try to take charge, and he couldn't do the job as well as I could. Won't do at all.
---
Dumbledore called me into his office today to say that he's asked around, and he's only heard good things about me. (A minor surprise. He has not talked to Evans, I take it.) I told him if I was Head Boy, Lily Evans had to be Head Girl because she knows what she's on about. He smiled and said some more things that I forgot, as I was distracted by some weird puffing instruments in his office. Probably not important. The only thing that matters is I've got Headship with Evans next year. Huzzah!
Padfoot gave in today - we will be following my plan. All is as it should be. Even Algernon is more amenable, he brought me extra crispy bacon today.
Also, I think Helena may have broken Peter's heart. He won't come out of bed to talk to us about it. The rest of us have decided to ambush him if he hasn't got out by nightfall.
Sunday 27th April
Surprise, Potter wasn't lying. Professor Dumbledore called me into his office today and asked me if I knew anything about Potter's seemingly sudden desire to become Head Boy. Why he wants to discuss Potter's abilities (or lack of) with me, I have no idea. He thinks that James has all the qualities that best befit a Head Boy, but is not sure whether or not he is mature enough to handle such a title, or whether or not he wants this job for the right reasons. I didn't want to agree, diary, but I couldn't bring myself to lie to Professor Dumbledore. I did, however, remind Dumbledore that even if Potter is looking for this job for the wrong reasons, he might rise magnificently to the occasion and surprise us all if he is given the opportunity to do so. Dumbledore says that while he remains unconvinced, he will certainly consider it.
But then Dumbledore said this, he said this, he said this (!!!!!!!!!):
`Your friend Mr. Potter is particularly firm in his conviction that you should be Head Girl next year, and I must say that I am rather inclined to agree.'
I am not to tell anyone (with the exception of Potter, I suppose), as Professor Dumbledore is not supposed to be choosing Head students until summer, but it seems like I have the job!! Success!! Success!!! I am Head Girl, and I've been given the job four months early, all thanks to Potter! I may sexually assault him when I see him again. Or at the very least, give him a hug. Head Girl! Me! I wish I could tell Emily and Beatrice, but they might tell their respective boyfriends.
Life is brilliant. I feel like I could love even Sirius Black today.
---
Helena Hodge is a tramp. According to Peter, she led him on, but was really only using him. Poor sod, but at least he's done it, even if it was with Helena the Whore. Plans for Snape have been postponed in order to more immediately get back at her for hurting Peter. Even Remus is keen on revenge this time. Peter didn't get out of bed until we literally dragged him out. He tried to dart away as Wormtail, but he can't hide from us. He might've said something about not wanting us to do anything too terrible, but I don't think he meant it. She'll get her just desserts.
It seems the tables have turned: Peter may be heartbroken, but I got a hug from Evans today! She said she's Head Girl next year. I'm not sure how that ended in physical contact, but I'm not bothered because any touch from her is exciting.
Another one of my relatives must have died. Letter from Dad this morning complaining I don't tell him enough about my life, so I sent him an owl about Peter and Head Boyship. I mentioned it to Remus, and he said I probably shouldn't tell my dad Peter's having sex or my dad will get paranoid about me. I said my dad knows full well he's nothing to worry about. I do, though, but in the opposite way.
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