A/N: This is the shortest chapter of the story. No missing entries, just a function of James and Lily being on holiday. Next week will be normal length.
Tuesday 1st April
Sirius Black will never mess with me again.
I was in the Great Hall this morning, minding my own business, and he thought that it would be funny to come up to me and say, `You know James isn't really going out with Isabella, don't you? He really likes you, Evans.'
Well, he hadn't even finished saying `April Fool!' before he was hexed by no less than five people. Bea, Emily, Karl, myself and Remus. Remus!!! Remus was quite angry, actually. He told Black that he was going to write to Potter and tell him, but I hope he doesn't do that. Potter would find it well funny. Anyway, when we'd finished with Sirius Black, he had a tail, tentacles, nostril hair and he could not stop dancing . And his rash is back. Fucking deserves it!
I love Remus, although not in a romantic way, sadly. Emily and I are going to scout for possible Mrs. Lupins tomorrow. Beatrice will not be notified.
Wednesday 2nd April
I am apparently going out with Karl Pilkerson, after a five second conversation with Beatrice that went like this.
Me: Maybe I should get a new boyfriend.
Bea: Cool. Take Karl.
Karl: Alrigh'.
If it was anybody other than Karl, I'd be really scared, but it's fine. Beatrice doesn't mind loaning him out for a few weeks (as long as it takes to make Potter see sense, she says, and I will freely admit, I am just doing this to piss him off. Now he'll know that he didn't fuck me up as much as he wanted to) and I'll not be required to do anything physical with him. Karl says that he'd just like to have someone around who will listen to his ideas, and Beatrice says that it will take at least a month before that starts to make me feel suicidal.
So basically, Karl and I are going to be exactly the same as we are now, but we'll sit together more often. I'm not sure how this is going to work.
---
Owl from Remus this morning. Sirius tried to pull some April Fool's joke on Evans that pissed her off something awful. I wasn't surprised that she was upset, nor that Sirius is back in the Hospital Wing. I am, however, surprised that somehow his rash is back. I've never heard of this rash's equal.
I'm still confused as ever. I couldn't even be bothered to pull a joke yesterday. I just lay in bed all day and enjoyed being able to do magic at home, but it wasn't much comfort. I tried to start on my Transfiguration assignment. Even my favorite subject couldn't pull me out of this ennui. I'm useless.
Thursday 3rd April
Day one of my nonexistent relationship with Karl has caused a bit of a stir in the school. Everybody is expecting Beatrice to get really angry with me for stealing her man, but Beatrice doesn't care. I don't even know how she and Karl stand right now. It doesn't matter anyway, because she and Karl will always end up together. I don't think either of them would ever be able to find another person on earth who could stand them for too long. I think that Beatrice is really happy to be able to have a few weeks off to concentrate on winning Remus over.
Will never happen, Bea!
Emily and I have narrowed it down to two people, Bonnie and Camelia. I am leaning towards Bonnie, as she is sweet, clever and pretty. I think that she would get along well with Remus. Emily has also heard a rumor that Bonnie turned Potter down for a date at some point, so I automatically love her.
Maybe I should ask Remus how he feels about this?
---
Dad is brilliant! At first I was dead mad when he barged into my room and Conjured a bucket of water to dump on my head, but now I'm glad he did. He dragged me down into the kitchen, gave me a cup of tea, and forced the whole truth out of me. There was a lot of back-tracking, as even I can't keep it all straight. Anyway, the short of it is, I need to break up with Isabella. As Dad said, it's unfair to drag her along, wishing she were someone else. And the faster I dump her (kindly, he stressed), the sooner Evans can start to forgive me for being such an utter twat. Genius, except that I'll be without a girlfriend again for a while. Oh well. I suppose I went a year without one, I can wait some more. How long could it take me to get Evans's forgiveness? A month, tops, I expect.
I'm not useless! And I will get Evans back.
I've started to compose a break-up letter to Isabella, but it keeps coming out wrong. I'm too excited about Evans.
Dear Isabella,
I do like you, but I like Evans better. Sorry.
JP
That one is going to Algernon.
Friday 4th April
Beatrice has a new theory about Remus. It is a theory that I have heard from Severus Snape before, and something that I do suspect may be true. I'm not writing it here, because I can't ever risk losing this diary and having it read. Needless to say, I'm worried about Beatrice. I don't know why she finds it sexy.
I must say, I love being Karl's fake girlfriend. We don't do much except sit together at mealtimes and talk. He just makes me laugh all the time. I'm actually going to miss him when he leaves school. He's supposed to be studying for his N.E.W.T.s at the moment, but he says that he finds it hard to learn stuff he's not interested in. And Karl is interested in some very diverse stuff.
I feel very sad today. I've felt this way for the past week, but I was rather hoping that it would have lifted by now. It's getting better, though. I think that being removed from Potter is helping immensely.
Sirius Black got out of the hospital wing today. He didn't say a word to me when he saw me. Respect at last. Wanker.
---
Damn, double damn!! How is Lily Evans dating Karl Pilkerson? I'm utterly lost. He's such a round-headed moron! Evans can do so much better!
Remus's letter has completely thwarted my good mood. I've arranged to go back to Hogwarts on the seventh. I will hunt down Pilkerson, and if he didn't like having an orange for a head, we'll see how he likes being a goat! Maybe I'll ship him off to Africa to feed some poor family. Evans wouldn't be keen on that, I expect. She's so kind. Too kind, it seems, if she said yes to Pilkerson. He must've broken it off with Booth, and Evans has taken pity on him. Yes, that sounds like her.
All morning I was out practicing Apparition in the garden, so I didn't get the letter until this afternoon. I tried to get hold of Sirius through my mirror, which I'd steadfastly hidden in my trunk all week, but he must already be off getting ready for tonight. Triple damn!!
I need to get back to Hogwarts. I was a fool to leave Evans alone in the castle with that many single (and apparently taken) boys. Honestly… Pilkerson?!
Dear Isabella,
Maybe if you Transfigured your hair ginger we'd have a chance at a future. Sorry.
JP
I will murder Pilkerson.
Saturday 5th April
Mum and I shouted a bit over breakfast. I want to go back tomorrow, but she refuses to let me leave on Easter. Bollocks to Easter, I've got to win back Evans!
Tried to shake off my frustration by Apparating around some more. Angry Apparition is, as it turns out, a bad idea.
---
Algernon brought in my toe during lunch and dropped it on Mum's plate. She was not best pleased.
Sunday 6th April
Karl's head has been charmed to look like an Easter Egg. He is perfectly fine with having his round head made fun of, as long as nobody squeezes it. Emily and Bea and I all gave him eggs, but he had forgotten that it was Easter. I have no idea why he thinks our classes have been discontinued.
Professor Slughorn is holding an impromptu Easter party for Slug Club members and their friends tomorrow. That means that I can invite Bea and Emily and Karl! Nick Crabtree will be there, and he is bringing Peter and his friends. Huzzah! It is starting in Slughorn's office tomorrow night at eight. I think that Professor Slughorn is mildly disappointed that I am not going with Bernard, but one conversation with Karl will change this. Karl will end up famous one day, you see. Beatrice is bringing mistletoe in an attempt to woo Remus. Emily said she can't be bothered to point out that it's not Christmas, Beatrice is a woman on a mission right now.
Terry Heaney has started hanging around me again. I had almost forgotten him due to my Potter-angst. He asked me if I had changed my mind about letting him massage my feet yet. I said I would think about it. I am a bitch.
Remus just told me that Potter Splinched a toe off yesterday. I want to feel triumphant, but my gut instinct was worry. I need to toughen up.
Still sad, but I feel better every day.
---
Happy fucking Easter. I'm still stuck in my house. Last night I chatted a bit with Sirius via mirror. I told him about the plan, but he didn't seem too happy about it. I made him put Remus on, though, which may have only upset him further, but it was worth it. Remus has promised to help me write my break-up letter to Isabella tomorrow! Excellent. Remus is dead good with words. Also caught up with Peter, who's getting along well enough. Helena let him touch her breasts. Lucky sod.
Have looked up several hexes I intend to use on Pilkerson upon my return. Goat is not bad enough.
I let Algernon have my chocolate Easter Egg. This may have been a mistake, as he's been looking a bit peaky ever since. I hope it wasn't poisoned, that would just be too ironic.
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