Monday 2nd June
Polish Pirate Poker is the most insane game ever invented. It's not remotely Polish and there's absolutely nothing pirate-y about it (apart from Peter's lucky eye-patch and head scarf. Really, I think he overdoes it a bit. He gets so childish whenever anyone tries to touch them)! Insane. I don't know how the boys understand their own rules. And they take it so seriously, too! Poor Remus's bed has been destroyed! I don't think I'll ever want to play it again. Not just because of my bruised shins and elbows, but because I felt the entire time like I was intruding upon something sacred. It's their game, diary, I feel like I had no right to play it. I will talk to James later about changing the last contract rule to something different.
---
Tonight we played Polish Pirate Poker. I reluctantly gave Lily the notes before I went out with Algernon, and told her we'd give her the average of our shillings. I was possibly slightly nervous, since we've never played with more than just the four of us before. Having to account for a fifth deck threw off some of my calculations. So did the fact that Lily and Remus conspired together! Dead traitorous - one of my best mates and my woman! Not on, not on at all. Luckily I was able to counter their moves by teaming up with Sirius. They tried to force me into Betting my King of Clubs, but I was able to maneuver around it, thankfully. It might've been our most intense round yet - Moony's bed might be irreparably damaged. His own fault, though. Tomorrow the Marauders are having a secret conference to decide if Lily can continue to play.
After the round, Lily and I snuck out under the Cloak to cuddle up in the Astronomy Tower. (I may or may not have been expecting a good snogging after her tormenting last night.) Too both of our utter disgust, we found Helena Hodge and Isaac Stoneham up there. Knowing one another. I tried to persuade Lily to Obliviate me, but she was having none of it, as then I wouldn't be able to repay the favor in kind.
I need to go sick up again, I think.
Tuesday 3rd June
Last night, (eurgh) James and I caught Helena Hodge having sex with Isaac Stoneham, another third-year, in the
Astronomy Tower. We were both horrified and disgusted, but James took it worse than I did. Truth be told, I
couldn't stop laughing about it for ages. For the rest of the night, James kept staring hopefully at my breasts as
if looking at them would erase the memory. I complained, but he said that I deserved to have my breasts gawked at if I
wasn't prepared to Obliviate him. What a baby. I am made of tougher stuff than he is. You, diary, will remember how
I accidentally walked in on Petunia and Vernon last summer while they were sexing it up. And if I can survive that
without craving extensive medication/immediate death, I can survive the sight of Isaac and psycho bike wheel-barrowing
all over the Astronomy Tower.
How is it that I've seen my own sister, her vile fiancé, Isaac Stoneham and Helena completely naked, and yet I've only ever seen James with his top off? It's unfair, diary, is what it is. He got to see me in my pants! Men are such pigs.
Off to see whether or not James's bed has been ruined beyond repair. It'll be nobody's fault if I happen to fall asleep while I'm there....
---
No Poker tonight, as Lily forced me to study with her. Exams are next week, I suppose, but I'm not worried. It's not like the O.W.L.s are this year. Sixth year is a bit of a joke, actually. Just getting ready to get ready for N.E.W.T.s. It is nice to have a year off - loads more Poker and Forest jaunts than last year. We even made the Map this year, which doesn't quite top our Animagus forms. Regardless, a good year.
What will be even better is when Mulciber, Lestrange, and Avery wake up tomorrow morning and find that they will be unable lie or omit the truth. And if Dumbledore happens to approach them and hints at their loyalties, there's no way they won't be expelled. We were all tempted to use much harsher forms of revenge, but as usual, our morals got in the way. No Dark Arts, no permanent harm. Tempting, so very tempting, but none of us were willing to stoop to their level. Expulsion right before their NEWTS - or in Avery's case, exams - will be humiliating, and it will keep them from getting proper jobs. The delicious just icing on the just desserts would be if they got their wands snapped, too. Can't wait!
Must sleep now - Lily is in my bed.
Writing that sentence makes me very excited.
I am never getting to sleep.
---
Have decided - the insomnia is worth it. Lily muttered my name in her sleep. Definitely never getting to sleep now.
Wednesday 4th June
Bloody fucking hell! Dumbledore is mad - utterly mad! I shall recap what Mulciber, Lestrange, and Avery have done within the past month:
1. Attempted to recruit me.
2. Attempted to recruit Sirius.
3. Injured my woman's owl.
4. Attempted to murder my woman!
5. Admitted to being Death Eaters! To Dumbledore's face!
One would think that this list of crimes would be enough to get them expelled, but apparently it's not! The truth spell worked fine - Dumbledore `happened' across them with their left sleeves missing outside of the Great Hall - but it didn't matter because Dumbledore just warned them off of doing anything `especially rash.' BOLLOCKS! I broke away from the others and chased after him. He took me up to his office, where he gave me some rubbish about leaving things to him. Even reminding him of how Lily nearly died did nothing! He even had the gall to mention that if near-death experiences necessitated expulsion, I would be short a best friend at school.
That was too low, really. I ranted something awful at him, but he didn't even react. All he said was that if I wanted to be treated as an adult, one in the Order of the Phoenix, I would have to adjust to the idea of things being bigger than me. I pointed out that's not the problem I have; I take issue with Death Eaters in Hogwarts. Didn't fucking matter. He gave me one of those looks, one of those Headmaster-y looks, and I relented. I won't risk Headship or my place in the Order, but I let him know I'm dead pissed with his managerial style. I won't blindly follow anyone's instructions, damn it.
We're now forbidden from actively seeking to injure the Death Eaters. Fucking hell. Must go tell Lily and the others of this terrible news, short the Order bit (except for Lily).
---
I love Professor Sprout. So much.
Not only did she let me off those detentions she gave me on Friday, but I went to see her in the staff room today, to get some notes I missed, and she offered to spend an hour with me this evening, going over the last few lessons. She said she understands that I have had some difficulty concentrating over the last couple weeks, due to the curse. I've to go to the greenhouses in a few minutes. I was going to ask McGonagall for help, too, but then Sirius Black (looking like it pained him very much, mind) offered to give me his notes and explain them to me when he overheard me telling Emily my plan at breakfast. Very odd indeed, but I accepted his offer because Black is probably the best Transfiguration student in the year, apart from James. Speaking of my man, I probably would have asked him, but I haven't seen him all day, apart from during class.
Emily's birthday in a few days. Luckily, I picked her present up in Hogsmeade at the weekend, but Beatrice forgot and now she's in a panic. Emily spent a lot of money on dress robes for Beatrice's birthday, so if Beatrice doesn't get her anything she'll probably be annoyed.
Off to the greenhouse!
---
Double poo. I got back from working with Sprout to find James in a pretty terrible mood. According to him, Mulciber and
his friends admitted to being Death Eaters to Dumbledore's face and they weren't even punished for it, just
given a warning. Dumbledore sort of justified his motives to James, and I do agree with him, for the most part. A lot
of what he said made sense. I didn't say that to James, however, as he was already furious, and managed to cheer
him up by asking if I could sleep in his bed again tonight. I explained that sleeping with him makes me feel safe and
protected (not a lie, as it happens) and he seemed pretty pleased with himself after that. It was strangely nice,
actually, seeing how upset he got about the whole thing. I was overcome by this insane affection for him, so I made him
put his head on my lap and massaged his head for an hour. Probably because I'm due my period. Periods make people
emotional, you know!
Thursday 5th June
Others reacted much as I did to Dumbledore's attack ban, although Lily seemed more on Dumbledore's side than mine at times. (She more than made up for this later.) We're all right pissed, but everyone understands our limits now. Tomorrow night is another round of Poker in order to cheer ourselves up. Well, the Marauders, at least. No idea what Lily's friends are doing, and Lily and I agreed she won't be in attendance tomorrow, for both of our sakes.
Mulciber shoved past me in the corridor, smirking. Fucker. Luckily Lily was there to restrain me. I ranted some more during lunch, until she pointed out getting angry about it wouldn't help. Damn her and her sense.
Ran into Edwin Edwards after Defense today and we started chatting about Quidditch next year. I reassured him of his place. This is because he's a brilliant Beater, and also because I owe him a favor. He was too tactful to bring up the latter -- and he's likely forgot all about saving Algernon -- but I remember, so I will repay him. Turns out he is still with Eira Hubbard. They are now engaged. I found this slightly shocking, but I think I hid it well enough. He's barely sixteen! I'm just seventeen and although I know the girl I want to marry, I can't imagine being engaged this young. Strange, indeed.
Off to study for exams. I hope I haven't alienated Algernon enough to keep him from bringing me and Lily some bacon sandwiches.
---
Beatrice keeps asking me if I could give her something to give to Emily, but I persist in refusing. Beatrice has absolutely no excuse for why she didn't get Emily a birthday present, she's rolling in money. Unlike me, with my beloved monthly budget, she has plenty of cash to throw around. Another reason why I have to excel in my exams, because if I don't get a well-paid job after school, I won't be able to feed, clothe or house myself. The money my parents left me will last for about another year, I think. I doubt that Petunia would help me out, and I wouldn't want her to. I'm perfectly capable of living my own life, thank you, I just don't have any money with which to live it. Merlin, I hate being a grown up.
Mulciber seems to be going out of his way to annoy James, and I don't think that I'm going to be able to prevent him from retaliating for much longer. He's furious about the whole affair, and I'm afraid that he might snap soon and do something rash. As sexy as this would undoubtedly be, I will not allow my man to be expelled because of one of those evil, slimy bastards! Maybe I should talk to Black about it? Not that he'd want to listen to me, but if I could just get it into his head that James could get into serious trouble, he might see sense and talk to James, who is more likely to listen to him than he is to me. Except he won't, because he's Sirius Black, and Sirius Black doesn't `do' listening. I'd have better luck if I asked Mulciber to marry me. Maybe Remus or Peter?
That's odd. Remus just ran up to his dorm room, followed closely by Beatrice, who was shouting, `I never asked him to take it, never!' She's gone up after him. Most curious.
---
I don't know exactly what happened with Bea and Remus, except that after several loud crashes, she came running
into the common room in tears and threatening to `strangle that little runt' (Who? Remus is quite tall, last time I
checked). Emily and I tried for ages to cheer her up and find out what's wrong, to no avail. Then Karl came over
and pointed out that at least Beatrice has hair. This, after all of our hugs and compliments, not only worked, but now
she's laughing and chattering like nothing is wrong. Proof that she and Karl are completely mad. Mad!
Friday 6th June
Helena Hodge has dyed her hair, diary. Isn't that nice? It's red. Rather like mine, in fact. She's charmed her shoes so that there are different colored stars on them, just like mine. She's stopped wearing her weird, furry scarf. She has performed some kind of strange magic so that her eyes are not exactly the same color as mine, but most definitely green. She has started wearing her hair down. And, oh, I almost forgot, Helena Hodge is trying to become me!
She is! She's imitating my walk and she's altered her accent. She's insane! Unhinged! She's going to
kill me in my sleep, skin me and wear me as an outfit! She is obviously doing all of this in an attempt to
steal James from me. How many times to I need to remind people that James is my man?! Mine, mine, mine, mine,
mine! Beatrice, Emily, Remus, Wendy Wilde, Rob, Karl and Black all find this hilarious, but they're not the victims
of identity theft, I am. Luckily, James is just as disturbed as I about it all (as is Peter, although he's more
depressed than disturbed), and assured me that he could never mistake Helena for me as I don't have giant spots, a
flabby arse or the face of a horse. How poetic. He's been acting all self-satisfied ever since I confessed about my
reasons for wanting to sleep with him, and he's started to speak in his `extra deep and manly' voice last heard
in fifth year. I guess he's just not used to feeling masculine.
Edwin Edwards is engaged. Engaged. To be married. I can't help but think that this is wrong on many levels, amongst them the fact that he's younger than I am, and also, I can't understand why any girl would marry a man with a lizard-like tongue. It's just so horribly, horribly long. I suppose I can understand the desire to elope, what with the war, but I can't ever see myself doing that with anyone. Goodness no! Anyway, I'd have to fall in love first (I am aware that I've announced myself in love with James on several occasions, but that was merely for dramatic purposes), I suppose, and that will likely never happen. I wonder what James's opinion is about all of this?
Seriously, though, the tongue is revolting! Why would anyone marry that?
---
I've often thought Helena Hodge was a bit out there. She did sleep with Peter and Terry Heaney, after all, so clearly she can't be all there. On the other hand, she's always been attracted to me, so she's not entirely without sense. Today she is officially mad. She has transformed herself into a pitiful copy of my woman. Scoundrel! No idea why she thinks this might be at all attractive to me. Her eyes are all wrong, for one. Also her hair should never be let down - it looks like a bird's nest that was at one point set on fire. I've assured Lily that I have eyes for no one but the real her.
Exams start Monday. These should go considerably better than my last exam, which Snape evilly thwarted. Speaking of, justice will soon be served. In two days, in fact. I'm dead excited. If we could get away with it, I'd extend it to Mulciber and them. Wouldn't work out, though. Nearly everything is set up.
Poker today went less than ideally. Wormtail activated his Jack of Diamonds. This should have been suicide, but he also activated his Six of Spades and picked me. Damn. If I hadn't brought up Helena's atrocious hair, I'm sure he would've picked Remus. Cost me the round, it did.
I was trying to pry Algernon out from his cozy spot under my bed when I found a watch. It is probably Lily's. Lily will probably be most upset if I do not return it. She will also probably be upset that my cat has her watch. Two treacherous paths lie in front of me….
Saturday 7th June
I have imposed a ban on physical activities with James for the time being. Last night, whilst in his bed, he handed me the watch that Algernon zoomed away with some time ago. Apparently he found it under his bed. For some reason, I have started to find everything James does completely heart-melting, so I kissed him in thanks. This led to some snogging, which led to some very inappropriate hand placement, which could have led somewhere else if Peter hadn't woken up from a nightmare and startled us. I'm not even dating James, and as I know that things can escalate in the heat of the moment, I don't want to end up doing something I'm not ready for. At least for a while. So I think it's back to my bed for the time being. This is good, as I have exams to concentrate on.
I haven't spent much time with Karl lately, so I caught up with him earlier today. Beatrice hasn't told him why she and Remus were arguing the other day (Remus has been avoiding her like the plague ever since), and she won't tell anyone else, so I guess we'll never know. Karl showed me some funny sketches he made of Helena Hodge, with crazy eyes and various kidnapping devices. The sketches are for the comic he's working on that details our lives, Happyslapped at Hogwarts. He said that if I hang out with him tomorrow, he'll show me some rough drafts. This is amazing! I get final approval of my own character, Jilly Devons!
I talked to Black just now to see if they're planning anything for Mulciber, who is still being smug and nasty. He let slip that James is planning something, but not for the person I'm thinking of. Then he walked away, whistling. I'm past ever trying to understand that boy. I'm going to do some more studying. Without James, who has been in a sulk with me all day and vowed that he can get me to lift the ban within a week. Hah!
---
Lily has now imposed a `ban' on physical intimacies with me, due to exams. Dead unfair. I plan to persuade her into breaking this ban. Have not given it much thought today, though, since all day I've been planning with my mates for tomorrow. We then celebrated prematurely with a raucous round of Polish Pirate Poker. Sirius is in the lead, but with some clever maneuvering on my part, I should be Champion by end of term.
I may or may not have encouraged Sirius to take certain actions against Helena Hodge. She may or may not find herself bald tomorrow morning. Peter may or may not like this turn of events. Algernon has brought me bacon, though, so I can't be bothered either way at the moment.
Sunday 8th June
I am currently in the library, trying to focus on Herbology revision and failing miserably. I didn't sleep a wink in my bed last night due to lack of the nice, soothing noise/smell/temperature that emits from a sleeping beside me in his bed/awake beside me in his bed James Potter. It's entirely my own fault. However, I can not and will not break my own pledge. So there.
Emily's birthday tomorrow! I hope she likes the England Quidditch robes I bought her. I don't know if Beatrice has thought of any gift ideas yet, as she's no longer speaking to anyone about that or Remus. I tried to talk to Remus about their fight last night and he just mumbled something about dittany and left. Men are strange.
Speaking of weird things connected to Beatrice, I'm having a look at Karl's comic book later (I was going to tell James that I'd be spending time alone with Karl, but he was preoccupied this morning and I didn't want to bother him). I can't wait! His drawings are all so amazing, and he wants my help in choosing the hero of the story! I love Karl, and I will miss him next year. Maybe I could buy him a wig or hairpiece as a mark of my fondness for him...
Merlin, is that girl over there bald?
---
Quadruple damn. Infinite damn! I couldn't do it. No idea how I'm going to explain this to the others. Months of planning, Galleons of investment, and I couldn't follow through!
I was in place, ready to stun any extra Death Eaters from behind so Moony could sneak into the Slytherin common room (in disguise, of course), and I'd taken my bit of Felix Felicis. Felt dead strange, being lucky, but really cool. I suddenly knew I should head to the ground floor. This didn't seem unusual at the time, since Padfoot and Wormtail were down in the kitchens. I happened across McGonagall and Dumbledore on their way out of the staff room, and I knew I should listen to what they were saying. As chance had it, they were talking about me! Dumbledore said since I was doing so well following authority for once, he wouldn't feel at all remiss in making me Head next year. He even hinted that if I could be trusted this far, he might mention his `knitting group' to my mates, too, since I've proven I can keep them in line.
As much as I'm still frustrated with Dumbledore for so many things this year, I'm not willing to risk Headship, my position in the Order, or my friends' options. To make matters worse, Lily also showed up for dinner, just in time to hold the door open for Dumbledore and McGonagall. (Looked incredibly sexy doing it, too. Her hair was mussed up a bit, probably from spending all day in worrying over exams.) This only reminded me of the contract I've got with her, and how I'm supposed to leave Snape well enough alone. Even thought I was sure Dumbledore would have never suspected foul play, so ingenious was the plan, I decided I didn't want to break the contract, no matter how I could have argued semantics about provocation. I love Lily, and I don't want to fuck things up with her (again).
After they all went into the Hall, I grabbed my mirror and called for Sirius, but much to my chagrin, there was no answer. I dashed back up to the common room and dropped off the Cloak, then rushed back to join Lily for dinner. An hour later, and I still haven't heard from any of my mates. Not on. Lily kept asking what was wrong while we were studying in the common room. I told her Algernon had gone missing. This plan was rather ruined when he then happily trotted down the stairs from our dormitory into the common room with us. Fucking cat. He didn't even have anything to offer me besides a hairball.
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