Monday 16th June
When I came in from James's this morning, Beatrice, hysterical and wearing only her underwear, grabbed my arm and
started pointing out all of the `fat' spots on her body. (Because of all the `comfort eating' she's been
doing.) She's got a figure like a ballerina and is talking out of her arse, of course, but I genuinely think
she's upset about Remus. She's persisted in pursuing him even though he's constantly rejected her for
nearly two years. Why would anyone put themselves through that kind of hurt for so long? I said as much to
James, and he mumbled something incoherent and pulled me into a bear hug. People here are crazy!
Speaking of James, the poor thing was moaning and groaning about his `special area' all Sunday and I really felt terrible for him. I wanted to make him feel better, but as good as massages as I am, diary, last night I made sure he knew there was no way in hell that I was touching that particular spot. I definitely overcompensated for it, though, by engaging in physical activities that were slightly more liberal than usual.
This didn't work out too great for his injury, as it happens.
---
Spent the morning with Peter. I'll see plenty of Padfoot this summer, but Peter has to go home and deal with his ill sister. Poor bloke. It'd be shite to have a sibling with the kneazles - you'd never know when something would explode, or spontaneously turn into a whale. He once told me his mum sometimes forgets he's there. It's a good thing Peter's got his mates to rely on. These are the sorts of things Lily thinks I don't think enough about, but I do. I don't think she knows about Penny's illness. Not my business to tell her, though. I told Peter he's welcome to my house whenever he wants. Must remember to extend this invitation to Remus, too, but he's much less likely to take me up on it. Stubborn, that one.
Afternoon was blissful. Lily and I stole some biscuits from the kitchen and ate them on the far side of the lake. Algernon tried to tag along, but even Lily understood when I pushed him back inside through a window. Thank Merlin for Lily, since she rightfully pointed out that the first window I had picked was, in fact, closed, and furthermore led to the staff room. That would not have ended well at all.
Tuesday 17th June
Bit of a brush with the Death Eaters today. Nothing on the scale of our previous encounters. Lily and I nearly walked into Mulciber, Avery, and Snape when we were turning the corner outside the library. We didn't say much, just exchanged taunts. It's clearer than ever that we are on opposite sides of this war, and that we're both going to give as good as we get. Lily and I talked about it later, and although we're both dead sure our side will come out the victors, it's not going to be an easy battle. I'm still always baffled that they hate my Lily for something she can't very well help. And don't they see how gorgeous and wonderful she is?! They must be blind as well as mad. We might've turned to hexes eventually if Professor Weber hadn't come and broken things up. Snape looked back over his shoulder as they were walking away, and out of nowhere Lily grabbed me and pulled me into a passionate kiss. I've no idea why, but I don't much care. It was dead romantic.
Letter back from Dad. Apparently Aunt Ophelie going to be abroad in her summer home, so there is no chance of my mother visiting her, seeing as Mum was permanently banned from Italy in 1953. Damn.
---
Two rather strange things happened today. Firstly, James and I were involved in a lovely little altercation with our
resident Death Eaters today, which was bags of family fun, of course. Mulciber, Avery and Severus Snape ran into us
outside of the library and decided to send a few insults our way (at least, two of them did. Severus just stood there
silently, glaring at James). Much nonsense concerning dirty blood, disgrace upon previously good family names and our
imminent and bloody deaths followed. This was nothing shocking, of course, but what did surprise me was James's
unexpected show of self-control at the time. Not once did he reach for his wand, at least not until Avery reached for
his. Luckily, Professor Weber was around and put a stop to it. I'm very proud of James, and I've assured him
several times since that he's going to get his own back one day, when we're fighting them for real. I've
wiped the floor with them once and I can do it again, with pleasure.
Secondly, and because of this seemingly unpleasant event, I actually came to realize just how much I really, truly love James Potter, and exactly why I do. I mean, I liked him because he could always make me laugh, and because he was charming and gorgeous and surprisingly intelligent. He's still all of those things, obviously, but they're not really important anymore. Not when you consider the fact that he's loyal and trustworthy and makes me feel protected, even though he acknowledges that I can take care of myself, and because he knows better than to care about stupid things like whether or not I'm a pure-blood, and because he'll always, always try to do the right thing, even if he fucks it up royally. I feel rather blind because I never even noticed these things before, even though they must have always been there, and guilty because I couldn't be bothered to give him a chance for the longest time. If there was something I could do to make it up to him, I'd do it in a heartbeat, I just don't have any idea what it is. Am I an absolutely terrible person or am I just stupid? Why on earth is he still with me?!
I've got no idea how I'm supposed to tell him any of this, by the way. Bugger.
Wednesday 18th June
Since I'm a coward, I decided that I wouldn't be honest with James about my feelings, and instead would try to
show him how much I love him by showering him with copious amounts of physical affection. I've been hugging,
kissing, pulling him into deserted classrooms and slamming him into walls all day. Sadly, the Universe decided that I
must be punished for said act of cowardice, and now my nose is busted six ways to Sunday because James decided it was
high time I got to see him in his underwear. Karma is a bitch.
I think I might talk to James about renegotiating the contract. Just because you love someone doesn't mean you have to love their y-fronts.
---
One would think with all the progress Lily and I have made, I would be halfway decent at interpreting her remarks. When she says something like, `I've never seen you in your pants,' I assume that she thinks this is a problem. And when she then spends the next few days throwing herself on me (quite literally, in some cases)…. Well. It seems I still managed to get it wrong.
I'd checked that Remus, Sirius, and Peter were all going to steer clear of the dormitory tonight. Peter apparently forgot, because he came in about two minutes before Lily did and was dead shocked. His fault for not remembering our conversation at lunch, really. He ran right back out, but then Lily came and all was well. I was leaning against the bedpost waiting for her - very sexily, I might add - with my hair all mussed up and my arms crossed across my manly chest. And what should have been the impetus for a very intense night of cuddling and fondling then backfired. When Lily walked in, she seemed stunned by my manliness, or so I initially thought:
Lily: Merlin's y-fronts!
Me: They're mine, actually.
It seems I misread her, though, since she then spun around and tried to walk out, except she'd closed the door behind her. Her nose bled something awful, and I had to help her to the Hospital Wing. Somehow I get the feeling this is going to get blamed on me.
Oh, shit. I've got to make Peter promise not to tell the others about what he saw. Sirius would never let me live it down.
---
Too late. Everyone thinks I'm an abusive boyfriend. I suppose they all saw me, topless, walking her through the common room with blood pouring down her face, so I can't really blame them. Actually, I can. And I will. I think I'll go force Algernon's company on them and hope he does to them what he did to me this weekend.
Thursday 19th June
Record of the conversation that was held at breakfast this morning:
Beatrice: Karl, do you want the raspberry or strawberry jam?
Karl: How'd you fancy getting married this summer?
Beatrice: I'd be up for that.
Karl: Alrigh'.
I have nothing else to say on this subject, diary. I really don't.
---
Karl and Beatrice announced their `engagement' in the common room after lunch. I wasn't there to witness it,
however, because I was up in James's dorm being groped. As part of my new strategy (#2 - Pretend to hate James
Potter in order to conceal deep feelings of love and devotion to James Potter), I started a yelling match with him
concerning the incident last night in which I walked in on him while he was wearing nothing but horrible y-fronts and,
presumably, waiting for me to see him and fall into his arms. He's apologized several times already, but it was all
I could think of to well about. Anyway, my anger coupled with his tendency to find my anger arousing did not bode well
for me at all. It's ok, though. He got to feel under my bra for the first time and I got him to promise he'd
switch to boxers, so it's really more of a win for me.
Incidentally, either James had a pair of socks stuffed down there last night, or I'm a very lucky girl. I'd bet my owl that it's the former.
I'm in the library and I can see Severus Snape heading rather purposely in my direction. Time to leave, I think.
---
Unexpected development today: Pilkerson and Booth are engaged. If I hadn't already known about Remus's true feelings, I wouldn't have even noticed he was bothered at all. He didn't unexpectedly leave the room or shout or do any of the things I would've done if Lily were suddenly engaged. Then again, I would probably murder the bloke on the spot. Perhaps that's not the best comparison. Anyway, I tried to talk to Remus in private, but Padfoot was getting in a snit because I've apparently been ignoring him again. Lies! I've been busy with Lily (oh, how busy I've been… her breasts are as nice as I'd always imagined), but I'm going to see him all summer, whereas I have to convince Lily of my devotion before she goes off to France and is surrounded by creepy French blokes. Who speak French. I reassured Sirius - in a very manly and not at all unmasculine way - that we are best mates, and no woman could ever change that.
When I succeeded trapped Remus in the dormitory, he tried to avoid the topic, but I was having none of it. After some prodding on my part, he finally admitted he's `bothered.' That's all. Bothered. Unbelievable. He's lying, the wanker, I just know it. This is getting ridiculous. I can't believe he's going to let this go by without so much as a word. Actually, I can. It's Moony. But I hate it anyway because he expects too little of people. Hopefully we can all make him feel better tonight during Poker. (Down as Remus is, I'm still not handing over Champion to him.)
Oh Merlin, have just realized I'm going to have to go to Booth's wedding some day. I think I need to go sick up.
---
On my way to the loo to vomit, sodding Algernon ran across my path, and I ended up falling down the stairs. Or I would have, had Lily not been on her way up. She's been moody and argumentative lately, and I can't help but feel vomiting on her isn't going to help any.
Friday 20th June
Poker last night was quite possibly the best round ever. The carpet in our dorm has turned orange, half of Peter's mattress is missing, and the window is covered in honey, but Merlin, that was fun. I ended up coming in second to Remus, unfortunately. I blame his unfortunate news yesterday for inspiring him to focus on something else entirely, namely Polish Pirate Poker. It was a season well-played. Cleverly, we packed most of our belongings yesterday before the round so we could have today to fix up the room.
Algernon somehow snuck in halfway through the second Subround. I've got to go see Kettleburn before the train leaves to see if he can regrow Algernon's left ear. I'd hate to see my mother attempt it. He would probably end up with a Chocolate Frog for an ear, and I refuse to have chocolate in my bed.
---
I've been ten kinds of a shrew to James today, snapping at him for every little thing and generally making his life miserable. Most horrifyingly, he is convinced that he's done something horrible to hurt me and keeps asking how he can make it better. Is his own opinion of himself so low that he always automatically assumes he's the one in the wrong? The boy is either some kind of masochist or completely whipped, and neither idea does anything to abate my guilt. He tried to talk to me an hour ago but I shouted at him and said that for once, I wished he'd just get angry and yell back at me. He deserves to at this point, diary. I wish I could be as honest with him as I was with Severus Snape last night when he followed me to Gryffindor tower, voicing his nasty opinions on James until I went crazy and threatened to hex him. I'd no problem telling him that I'm in love with James. This is surely not healthy or normal.
Oh, I almost forgot. A small victory today! Terry Heaney dumped Helena Hodge for good today, in what I'm happy to confirm was a very loud, very public manner. He announced to the Great Hall that he is in love with Marjorie Deacon (the spotty cow) and she with him! Then they began to fawn over one another, which was rather disgusting, especially since he was sitting very near to me and I could hear him cooing in her ear about how her toes are like white chocolate buttons. Still, it's worth it, because the last time I saw Helena, she was sitting on the floor of Moaning Myrtle's bathroom, crying and stuffing her face with toffee. Peter is still laughing about it.
I have to pack, then converse with Beatrice on the topic of wedding venues, then seek out James and apologize to him. Beatrice is kidding herself if she thinks this wedding is going to happen, her parents are going to hit the roof and she's only doing it to make Remus jealous, anyway. I should probably question him about his feelings on this, actually. I'll do all of this right after I eat this delicious bacon sandwich. I love Algernon.
---
Train leaves in twenty minutes. Lily just rushed up to me, saying she'd been looking all over for me. I tried to explain the whole Algernon ear business, but she wasn't having it. She apologized for being a right bitch this morning. Earlier she'd gone on about how I need to stand up to her, but I know better than to do that when she's being unreasonable. We talked it out, as per the contract. She said she was nervous about exams and was unfairly taking it out on me. Useless, since she did wonderfully, of course. (As did I. No surprises there.) Anyway, we're all sorted out now, and a good thing, too. I plan to fondle her breasts at least once more on the train, and that would've been dead unpleasant if she were shouting at me while I did so.
Remus still hasn't said anything to Booth. I've half a mind to talk to her myself, but he'd kill me. And he could, too.
Algernon's been trying to snuggle with me. If he thinks I've forgiven him because I got his ear fixed, he's in for a shock at home.
Saturday 21st June
It's 3:30am and Beatrice has been sitting outside on the low roof for a half hour. We've barely spoken to each other, or to anyone else, since we arrived here, although we spent about ten minutes casting protective spells around her house. We're both highly doubtful that You-Know-Who would ever bother with two seventeen year old witches when he has Aurors and Ministry officials to murder, but there-s still always the risk, isn't there? We're still Muggle-born, which means we're fair game as far as his Death Eaters are concerned. That's the reason why I almost had a heart attack when I woke up a while ago and saw that she was gone. I know why she's out there, and all I have to say on the matter is that Remus Lupin can be an idiot sometimes.
I apologized to James for my behavior before we got on the train home, he accepted, and we spent a rather lovely half hour in one of the bathrooms while our friends all sat in the one compartment, sniggering at us. Things went downhill when we got to the station, however. He took me away from everyone to say a proper goodbye, and just when I thought he was going to invite me to stay at his house at some point, bloody Aaron came and ruined it. Since he's just gotten his first car, he drove down to London to pick us up. I would appreciate this act of kindness had he not interrupted us, slung his arm around my shoulders and started tousling my hair (he always was rather clingy). Aaron is a very good-looking and intelligent guy who happens to be a couple inches taller than James. I neglected to tell James all of this last week, and may also have insinuated that Aaron was unattractive, short and stupid. Now James must obviously think that I'll be carrying on with him behind his back, because he let go of me and walked off to Sirius without another word. It didn't occur to me until we left that he was probably expecting me to follow him, and that I've let him down again. I've written an extremely panicked explanatory letter and sent it to him already. I love James, so much, so he simply can't break up with me over something like this. If I was only able to be honest with him, he'd realize that I only lied about Aaron to make him feel better, and there's no way I'd ever pass him up for anyone. Except he won't, because I'm a stupid, cowardly shrew.
Beatrice looks cold out there. I'm going to bring her a blanket, and then force her to talk to me about this mess she's gotten herself into. Good plan.
---
I am being forced to get a job. This is dead unfair. Finally I'll have Sirius around for an entire summer, and now I'll be away half of the time. Bloody Mum. I tried to argue with Dad, but he thinks it's a brilliant idea. No clue why they think I've no work ethic. Then again, they haven't seen the Map. Perhaps if I showed them that, they would understand my genius is best left unfettered by such trivial things as jobs.
Have written several drafts of a letter to Lily demanding that she immediately leave the Booth household, but I've yet to send any of them. Sirius also saw the Male Booth (whose name I have forgotten and don't care to remember) at King's Cross yesterday. He agrees he looks like a smarmy git who needs a good hex to the face. Or a punch. Or both. Perhaps a punching hex? If there is no such thing, I shall invent one. If only I didn't have to get a job, I'd have time for such innovations. I hope Mum and Dad know they are depriving the world of many new and exciting developments in magic.
Must run, Sirius and I are going to town so he can ogle the motorbikes. I also need to get away from Algernon, and I'm tired of hiding in my room from him.
Sunday 22nd June
I eventually got Beatrice to talk to me about Remus last night before dinner, as when I went out she refused to say a word to me on the roof. As expected, she's very upset about the whole affair and doesn't know where she stands with Remus, but I also reminded her that she dug herself into a mess by agreeing to marry Karl. I was misguided in thinking that her parents would be angered upon hearing of her engagement, and forgot that they are both obscenely lenient hippie types. Her father doesn't mind as long as the wedding costs are split with the Pilkerson parents, and her mother is delighted at the prospect of making her a wedding cake and catering the reception. One of the perks of having a baker for a mother, I suppose, the other being the multitude of pies and cakes and treacle tart (that Ellen makes just for me!) that are always lying around the bakery larder. I love Beatrice's house. Not as much as usual, however, since Beatrice is sulking and Aaron follows me around whenever his girlfriend, Maisie, isn't with him, asking me to think of words that rhyme with `Evans' and `that speccy imbecile stole my lady' for his new song.
The oddest thing happened to me this morning while I was sending off a letter to James that I wrote last night. As I watched James fly away and hoped that my poor owl wouldn't be confused by an order to deliver a letter to what could easily be misconstrued as `himself,' Beatrice's father came in and told me that the letter was slightly too accusatory, and that James might feel like I am insinuating that he is too possessive if he reads it. Then her mum came in after him and said that I apologized far too much in the letter and that I should have made him come chasing after me. Then Beatrice's little sister, Miriam, told me that my message would have come across better if delivered it in person. This would have been fine if I had actually shown the letter to any of them, but unless I have been Obliviated, I am quite sure that I never did.
I think I need another chat with Beatrice.
---
Job search did not go well today. It is apparently a bad idea to walk into a restaurant kitchen with a cat. This is entirely Algernon's fault. This morning I woke to the banshee cries of my mother when she saw what Algernon had done to the window treatments. She forced me to take him out of the house, and while I wanted to punish him with her company, he did almost die because of her over Easter hols. Sirius was no help, either. We'd parted ways early on since he's not being coerced into joining the workforce. And even if he were looking for a job, he wouldn't have to drag a mad cat around with him. Unfair in the extreme. Café and gas station both turned me down today, and there are not that many places to work in town.
On second thought, Algernon is a blessing. If I continue to bring him with me, maybe no one will hire me, and I can simply tell my mother it's her fault I'm unemployed. Brilliant.
Still waiting on word from Lily. Oh no, what if Algernon eats her letter before I can get it? He does have a history of eating parchment. I'd assume he wouldn't be able to get it off of James, but Algernon has done far cleverer things in his lifetime. Sodding cat. One minute he's saving my free time, the next he's gone and slid down the banister. Dad never forgave Algernon for that one, but I suppose that was his best shirt.
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