Warning this chapter does not portray Draco in a good light but it's important for the story.
Chapter 13
It hadn't felt like a mistake to Draco. With much hesitation he watched as Ginny broke their kiss A long moment passed when they stared shakily at each other. Her featherlight fingers which had been caressing his cheek were pulled away abruptly as she stood. Draco churned with frustration already missing her soft touch. It took every amount of self control he had not to push her back on the bench and kiss her again.
"We should check on Alex." Ginny said, her voice a bit unsteady.
Yes, Alex. Musn't forget my own flesh and blood. Have to check on our son.
The kiss did affect her as much as it did him. She couldn't deny it. He saw it in her eyes and the way her body moved. Ginny may not have any memories of them together but she remembered his touch. Tonight he would make her remember everything.
They didn't have to look far for Alex. A smiling boy stood in the doorway of Scrivenshaft's Quill Shop, waving at the both of them as they neared. "Mum, Professor Malfoy!" Alex shouted as he ran towards them.
Alex smirked at him in only a way a Malfoy ever could, "Have you been spying on me and your mum?" Draco whispered.
"Maybe just a little." Alex admitted sheepishly handing over the quill he requested. "I bought one for you too Mum."
Inscribed on the quill were the words, Wizarding worlds #1 mum.
"Oh Alex, you shouldn't have…….."
Draco could see fresh tears on the verge of spilling. He put his arm around her shoulders, giving her a gentle squeeze , "Ssh Ginny, stop doubting yourself."
If anyone should have any doubts about being a parent Draco knew it should be him. When he was finally able to be a father to Alex, would he make the right decisions? The only father Alex knew had been his grandfather and his many uncles. From what Draco saw they had all done a good job. A job that should have been his. Harry and Ron had taught him Quidditch. Who better to teach Alex than two professional Quidditch players? The fact didn't stop Draco from becoming jealous every single time he heard Alex talk reverently about his uncles.
Alex had also been on numerous trips with his Grandfather. Alex talked on and on about something called a zoo. He had even been on a muggle airplane with his grandparents. Would Draco even have allowed Alex the experience of such things had he been his father from the very beginning?
Had it been ten months that he'd been imprisoned in Azkaban? Draco was starting to lose track of the days spent in solitary confinement with no one to talk to but the burly guard just outside the cage .Deatheaters abounded in the prison and Draco Malfoy was marked as their target, the traitor that helped bring down Voldemort's reign.
"It's for your safety." Harry Potter had said the first time he and Weasley paid him a visit.
He was beginning to doubt them both. They wanted to see him suffer and become mad. They were playing with his head, torturing him for all the pain the Deatheaters had caused.
Draco scooped up the porridge in his hands. He wasn't even allowed to have utensils. Flinging his half eaten tray to the opposite side of the cell, he ignored the guards protest that he would have to eat every last morsel on the ground.
"Suicide watch." Was the new rule the Weasel told the guard a few weeks prior, instructing him that Draco Malfoy was to have no silverware. They suspected he would try to hurt himself. How right they were and he hated them for knowing it.
Damn Harry, Damn Weasel, Damn them all!
"You have visitors." Stated the guard.
"Tell them to go away!" spat Draco. No one could see him in this condition. The Malfoy heir who had been coddled since the day he was born was now reduced to spending the rest of his days in a concrete box
And he deserved it. Why did they let him live? They were torturing him as Draco himself had done to countless others. Draco wanted to die. Dying had to be better than this. Draco could still hear the Wizengamot sentencing him to life in prison, though Dumbledore had urged the court to keep in mind Draco Malfoy's cooperation with the Order. That day was the beginning of the end. Draco had blacked out after hearing his fate, waking up to what would forever be his home. He wanted to cry but found he could not. All his tears had been used for the woman he loved and would never see again.
"We will do no such thing!" Harry Potter and Ron Weasley ordered the guard to open the door raising their eyebrows at the porridge covered wall. With a few flicks of the wand, the door swung open. In full Auror regalia they strode into his cell.
"I assure you both that I won't try to hang myself today." Draco drawled as he slumped over on his cot. Since the war ended the Daily Prophet ran stories about the victims of the Great Wizarding War. The most recent article had been about Virginia Weasley. Lying pregnant and comatose at St. Mungo's she was predicted to not live much longer. The viability of her baby was also in doubt. Their baby. Draco made the decision that he would join them, fashioning his pillowcase into a noose. Stupid Potter and Weasley just had to pick that exact moment to find him dangling from the ceiling and interrupt his plans.
"Good news Malfoy." Potter said with too much enthusiasm for Draco's taste.
"Will I get the Dementors kiss?" It's what Draco wanted but it was never to be. After the war the Dementors were rounded up and banished for their alliance with Voldemort.
Weasley could only shake his head, "Malfoy. Just listen for once. Harry and I have been working behind the scenes with Dumbledore to obtain your release."
"And……….?" Draco didn't want to hope. Weasley and Potter had promised his release months ago and it was denied, again and again. The Malfoy name conjured up nothing but bitterness in the Wizarding community. Too many lives had been lost and Draco Malfoy had to pay.
"It's official" Harry handed over a piece of parchment declaring Draco's freedom. "You're a free man Malfoy."
Draco stared at the parchment paper for a long time. He was free to do as he pleased, to go wherever he was inclined. Shouldn't he be thrilled at the prospect of leaving Azkaban forever? But Draco was far from happy. Ginny who was supposed to spend a lifetime with him was gone. He had been too scared to read the Daily Prophet, afraid one day to see her obituary. If he couldn't be with his Ginny he wanted death. What was freedom without her?
"We've rendered Malfoy speechless!" Ron chuckled, "Come now ferret, it's the least I can do for the bloke that saved my sister."
"I'm assuming she is in good health?" Draco asked trying not to look at all interested.
"Ginny's always been tough. If anyone can pull out of trouble it's her. She's still in a coma but physically the doctor's say she is well. Her baby was born two weeks ago. My mum named him Alex."
The news of his son's birth was a ray of light in Draco's dark world. He wanted to shout at the top of his lungs that he was a father. The feeling only intensified when Ron pulled a picture out of his billfold and handed it to Draco, "This is my nephew, Alex Weasley. Good little bugger. Really quiet, haven't heard him cry yet."
Draco was in awe. This baby that was so beautiful and pure was his son. How did a Malfoy help make someone so innocent and perfect? He barely registered when Ron and Harry left the cell, informing him that a parole officer from the Ministry would be escorting him out of Azkaban.
Draco never returned the picture. In the future when loneliness tempted him to end it all, he would pull out the picture of a newborn Alex. Every decision he had made, every action he had taken since his release including accepting the DADA position had all been for Alex.
All things happened for a reason and Draco had to learn to accept it. Maybe it was for the best his son was raised a Weasley. Thinking about the past gave him regrets. Nothing could be changed but the future still held much promise. Ginny was responding to him in ways Draco hadn't been expecting. His arm was still around her shoulder as they walked through Hogsmeade and Draco made no attempt to remove it. This was how it should have been from the beginning.
Taking a quick look at the quill Alex had bought, Draco couldn't help but smile. Inscribed on his quill were the words.
"Wizarding World's #1 Father. Love, Alex Malfoy"
***
"Dad, do you think Mum will like this?" Alex picked up a bottle of vanilla scented perfume at Gladrags. From the look on his father's face Alex knew he had to buy it.
Alex wondered what his mum was buying him for Christmas. They had all gone their separate ways. Alex with his professor, and his mum off in another store to pick up his gift. Alex wanted to tell his mum she didn't have to buy him anything at all. He already received his present. Three days early in fact. This was shaping up to be the best Christmas ever. It would be the best Christmas, if only……if only his father could spend the holiday with them at the Burrow.
Alex waited patiently in line as the woman behind the counter wrapped his purchase. "May I interest you in some socks or one of our fine cloaks?" asked the salesclerk.
"Socks please. " Funny, they looked just like the socks Father Christmas wore. Alex wondered if Father Christmas did his own shopping at Gladrags or if the elves did that for him.
His father was having a cloak wrapped, "For your mum. This will go quite nicely with her perfume."
"That's really pretty father! She'll love it. When are you going to give it to her?" Alex crossed his fingers hoping he'd say Christmas day. That would mean he'd be at the Burrow. Grandma would love father. He was sure of it. They could all bake cookies with Grandma Weasley. Father would help his uncles and Grandpa chop down a Christmas tree. Afterwards they would decorate it together. Perfect, just perfect.
"Don't worry Alex. You and your mum will have presents in hand before boarding the train."
No, father had to come. He just had to. Why hadn't mum asked him? Alex was smart enough to know a kiss didn't make two people fall in love. He had spotted William Wood snog countless girls all over school to know it took more than sharing a tongue to fall in love. But Alex could see how much his dad loved his mum and he was quite certain she felt the same way. He saw it with his own eyes, twice. "Why don't you come to the Burrow with me and mum for Christmas?"
Alex didn't like the hesitation playing across his father's face. "You'll have fun!" Father was afraid of his uncles. That had to be it! He knew his uncles weren't fond of his father and constantly made jokes about him, but Alex would make them stop this year. "My uncles will be nice to you, I promise! You can see my collection of fellytones and everything, please? "
"Alex….I…..I……….."
"Just say you'll come! Mum would say yes."
"I'd say yes to what?"
Alex spun around at his mother's voice. She loved his father. Alex knew in his heart that she did. "Wouldn't it be great if Professor Malfoy spent Christmas with us at the Burrow!"
***
There was a minute of appalled silence while the three of them stood in the midst of holiday shoppers. Time seemed to stop at a standstill. If she hadn't given in to Malfoy and acted like some silly school girl she wouldn't be here about to crush her son's hopes. She had been leading not only Malfoy on but Alex.
It was impossible not to disappoint Alex with the answer she was about to give. She owed it to Alex to stay away from Draco Malfoy, but as teachers their paths would continue to cross. If only she had put her foot down the very first time Alex asked that Professor Malfoy come to Hogsmeade. Ginny decided she would have to steel herself the next time Alex asked her anything that had to do with Malfoy. She couldn't keep riding this emotional rollercoaster.
"Mum….aren't you going to say yes?" said Alex staring at his shoes while he scuffled his feet. "
Ginny's heart ached. Alex had grown attached to Draco Malfoy and because of her actions he was in for a letdown. The talk she was hoping to save after the holidays would now be held in the middle of Gladrags.
"I'm sure Professor Malfoy has other plans." Ginny said in an effort to pass it off lightly,
Alex frowned, stomping his foot when he didn't get the answer he desired, "You don't just kiss like that if you don't love each other….you just don't. It's not right!"
"Alex that's enough." Said Draco in a curt voice. "I can't come. The Headmisstress has left me in charge of Hogwarts while she is away on Christmas break."
Alex's mouth set in a stubborn line, "Someone else can be in charge."
"No Alex. As much as I would love to spend Christmas with you, I have responsibility to the school. I can't just leave my post."
Ginny didn't have to look at Draco to feel the mounting tension simmering within him waiting to explode. Ginny swallowed, wanting her scattered feelings to go away, to be replaced by confidence that she was doing the right thing. "Professor Malfoy's right Alex. He has a job to do. Maybe we can floo him Christmas day and wish him a Happy Christmas."
Draco looked at her, through her, not really focusing, before turning towards Alex, "That's a great idea, isn't it Alex?"
A frowning Alex said nothing.
Blinking furiously, Ginny tried her best to smile at both Alex and Draco . "If we don't leave now we'll miss the carriages home." She turned quickly towards the door not wanting them to see her cry. Why had she been so weak? If only she had said no to Alex, said no to the mistletoe and said no to Malfoy none of this would be happening.
On the way home with Alex sitting between her and Malfoy, Ginny leaned her head towards the window of the carriage, welcoming the wintry breeze. She wished it would blow away all her problems and all the confusing feelings she was having for Draco Malfoy.
***
After dropping off a sullen Alex to Gryffindor tower they walked in silence to the teachers quarters before Draco broke the stillness that hovered between them. "Do you like me Ginny?" he asked watching the play of emotion in her brown eyes. His hands ached with the need to hold Ginny's body close to his own and let her see just how much he wanted her. He would take a like if that was all she was capable of at the moment, although he would always hope for more. After hearing no response on her part he asked again, "Did you feel anything at all?"
"It was just a kiss Malfoy. I……we got carried away. It meant nothing." She said as they turned the last corner towards their rooms.
I waited twelve years for you and it meant nothing! Draco's jaw grew rigid as his hands clenched into balled fists.
"Let's just forget this whole episode happened, ok?" Ginny offered a weak smile before opening the door to her room, "Goodnight Malfoy."
Deeply humiliated and angry Draco followed Ginny into her room before slamming the door behind him. "Patience has never been my virtue Ginny." She was going to remember whether she was ready or not. He muttered a silencing charm before advancing towards her.
"Get out of my room!" Ginny glared at him, "I kissed you Malfoy. That's it. I owe you nothing more!"
"We'll see about that won't we." before she could protest he grabbed onto her wrists. Draco's imagination ran wild with pictures of Ginny naked in his arms. Pushing her onto the bed he forced his mouth on hers while he started pulling at her clothes. She struggled beneath him but he kept her firmly in place. Any minute all her memories would resurface and he wouldn't have to do this to her.
"Kiss me back Ginny!" he screamed at her when she wouldn't respond. "Fine, have it your way." Draco trailed kisses along her neck and across her shoulders as he cupped her breasts. They were soft and beautiful just as he remembered them. Draco caressed her nipples watching them harden at his touch. See, you remember Ginny. He couldn't resist taking her pert nipples in his mouth to play with them. Biting and caressing each in turn.
"Malfoy, please………"
Ginny 's words were cut off by Draco's hoarse whisper, "Don't tell me to stop because I won't." His hands skated over her body as he moved lower along the body he knew so well. Draco's every nerve ending throbbed with pentup desire. Draco yearned for release ,feeling his body growing more engorged. Draco smiled against the skin of her thigh as he tore off her skirt. Hot need billowed in him as he tugged her underwear down, a glimpse of red curls was almost his undoing. Draco hurriedly unbuttoned his trousers returning to the cradle between her thighs.
She shivered beneath him before he entered. It wasn't a shiver of pleasure but of fear. Ginny was afraid of him. "Please don't." she said tears streaming down her face. "Don't do this."she pleaded.
Draco stopped himself, mere centimeters away from the point of no return. "Fuck!" he rolled off her, cursing himself for losing all semblance of control. He nearly raped the mother of his son. "Oh Gods, what a bloody mess!" Draco averted his gaze from Ginny's tear filled one. Were the bruises that lined her skin his doing? Bite marks marred the perfect breasts he adored. Ripped clothes lay strewn across the room.
"Are you ok?" he managed to say pulling his trousers back on.
There was a long pause, before Ginny said with an air of finality, "Please leave Malfoy."
Draco's mouth tightened at her words, leaving without a look back. He wanted to get on his hands and knees and beg for forgiveness, but he knew Ginny would never accept his apologies. Any chance he would have had with her was gone. She was no close to remembering than before. Only now Ginny's thoughts of him would be colored by this horrific episode.
Later that night as Draco sat up in his bed unable to sleep, he leaned against the wall that separated his room from Ginny's. It was impossible. The walls of the castle were thick. But when Draco listened carefully he could hear the soft cries of his beloved.
"I'm sorry Ginny." He whispered hoping that a part of Ginny could feel how much he wished to take back what happened, "I failed you again."
TBC
Chap 14 - finally Christmas comes to this fic,Ginny and Alex visit Snape.
After Chap 14 flashbacks and a visit to Azkaban.