Unofficial Portkey Archive

What is Love?

A/N: This was supposed to be part of the previous chapter, but it would've been WAY too long if I put it all together into one. So here's the next part of the chapter… a new chapter very much related to the previous one… how's that sound? Lol.

CHAPTER XVIII

Vanilla Dust

I closed my eyes

only for a moment

and the moment's gone.

All my dreams,

passed before my eyes of curiosity

Dust in the wind.

All we are is dust in the wind

Same old song.

Just a drop of water in an endless sea.

All we do

crumbles to the ground

though we refuse to see

Dust in the wind

All we are is dust in the wind

Don't hang on,

nothing lasts forever

but the earth and sky

It swifts away

And all your money

Dust in the wind

All we are is dust in the wind

Dust in the wind

Everything is dust in the wind

(Dust in the Wind by Boston)

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January 2002 - Hogwarts

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He still couldn't bring himself out of the shock, to take in all that had happened. Lariana would be there any minute and he was sure he looked like hell. He was in front of the lavatory, staring at his reflection in the mirror. Wearing pale blue dressing robes and a matching wizard's pointed hat, he probably didn't look as bad as he looked to himself. As much as he hated it, he had to wear the hat at least for the first part of the ceremony.

In his right shoulder, he wore the symbolic medals from the auror corps. He was pretty much required to wear them at any big or representative event of the Ministry or Hogwarts for that matter. He took it off and ruffled his hair in a useless attempt to put it under control. Then he would put the hat back on and replace his glasses, trying to look less pale. He looked at his medals and swapped them around, knowing full well that he didn't have a choice on where or how to put them.

The door opened and he recognized long, flaming Weasley red hair. He was almost scared to look up to confirm which Weasley it was. As he made out his former best mate, Harry felt a rush of guilt, mixed with anger and confusion, so he just kept on arranging and rearranging himself in front of the mirror.

Ron had gone to the restroom, excusing himself from his family, to accommodate his robes and pointed hat for the opening dance of the Gala, where he'd be dancing with Hermione, pretending they were all right for the sake of peace from other journalists.

Finally, The Boy Who Lived had no choice but to greet hello to his fellow Gryffindor classmate, and he took an encouraging and rage-calming breath before turning around and smiling at him. "Hello, Ronald," he said very diplomatically.

The red-haired man looked at him for a moment with hard eyes and then relaxed only a little bit. "Hello, Harry," he saluted back.

Harry was exiting, when he heard Ron's voice. "What did you do? Hermione seems very upset," he asked casually but it was anything but casual, what he'd asked.

Harry stopped with his hand on the door handle. "I reckon I should ask you what you did to her… what you do to her."

"What's that supposed to mean?" The polite façade was falling from Ron's voice, acquiring a more aggressive tone.

Harry turned to face the man he'd loved more than life itself at a time. "It means exactly what it means. You were the one to hurt her."

"Excuse me, but if I remember well, this all started with you…" Ron retorted, clearly having been very anxious to say all this, and now he had the chance.

Being an auror, Harry knew when someone was seeking a fight; and he'd try his best to not seek for one because 1) He was the host, 2) It would hurt Hermione and 3) Lariana would definitely not be happy about it.

"Look, Ron. I don't want to discuss this anymore. I am-" he stopped for the shortest moment, but not short enough for one of the three persons that knew him best to buy it. "I am engaged to be married, so you can stop worrying that I will steal your girlfriend," he said and started out again.

Ron's ears turned bright red and he darted to where Harry was, slamming the door shut so Harry couldn't open it. "I know you never got over her, but she's with me, all right?" he roared in a low voice.

At first, Harry didn't have time to react, not used to being cornered by his former best friend. He pushed the raging red-hair away and walked slowly towards him, away from the door, pointing an accusing finger to the other man. "And after almost four years, you still can't manage to make her happy," he spat out with almost hatred in his voice. At the words that came out of his own mouth, Harry winced internally, wishing for the shortest moment that it hadn't been so long.

This was the last drop in the glass… taking two quick steps towards Harry, Ron's fist made contact with the other man's jaw, sending him against the wall with a thump! "Don't you dare say that again!"

Harry recovered quickly… all the years of training must've paid back in some way. He grabbed the taller man by the robes and slammed him against the other wall. The fight had started; Harry punched, Ron evaded… Ron returned the attack and Harry did the same. The two got quite a few blows before another red-haired man, this one much more well-built, entered the restroom; astonished at the display before his eyes.

"What the bloody hell is going on here!" Charlie Weasley's voice boomed in the stone walls and he darted ahead to the former best friends, separating them with his strong Dragon-keeper arms. He pushed each young man to a side of the restroom and glared at them furiously. "Now, settle. Explain."

Harry took a breath to speak, but thought better of it at seeing the older Weasley's look. He just looked away and wiped the blood from his nose with the hem of his blue robes.

Charlie's narrowed eyes traveled from one to the other. "Well?"

"Nothing happened. We're going outside," Ron said coldly and took paper towel from the wall, to clean his face. He walked out of the room.

The man turned to Harry. "What was that? I thought that an auror like you could control his emotions," he said to him.

"I tried."

"Should've tried harder! You know the situation, you knew this could happen!"

"Look, all I know is that-" he stopped himself and sighed. "I know," was all he said and started to walk out.

"Clean yourself up, Lariana won't like you all swollen. You want a disguising spell?"

Harry shook his head. "No, it's all right. I got it."

"Good, so, in peace? At least for the rest of the evening?"

He shrugged. "As long as he doesn't-"

"At peace?"

"Yes, at peace."

"Good," Charlie finished and walked out of the restroom with one last pat on Harry's back.

Harry stood there for a moment longer and looked at his swelling face in the mirror. With one more sigh, he did a hand movement as he muttered a healing spell for the cuts that had come from the broken mirror. "Reparo," he said to it and a second later it was as if nothing had happened there. One more hand movement later, he was back to his normal face. "To host a dance," he told his reflection and walked outside, to the party.

In the centre table, he saw his fiancée already sitting there, looking a bit uncomfortable in Hermione and Ron's company, but she was doing a great job covering that up as she chatted with Seamus Finnigan. He seemed all too pleased to be talking to her, and Harry couldn't help a slight pang of jealously which he pushed away quickly, knowing he had absolutely no right at that moment to feel anything like that.

He hurried to his table, greeting people and friends on his way and making it seem like an eternity till he got there. Finally, Harry sat down and kissed Lariana a little awkwardly, and wincing only slightly at the pressure due to the numerous hits he'd received only moments before. "Sorry I took so long. When did you get here?"

She grinned when seeing the slim form of her future husband approaching almost desperately fast to the table. To be honest, she'd been much more intimidated by Hermione than she'd thought, and she didn't like that one bit because Lariana Holmes was never intimidated by anyone. But then again, she had never been in a situation like this one before. She fixed a smile as she pushed away the no-good rambling. "About ten minutes, no biggie."

"Glad you didn't wait so long. I'm sorry I-" he was interrupted by an oh-so-familiar voice. One he'd heard for three consecutive years in the field, for they were almost always in the same team in the missions.

"Hey there, Harry! Nice to see you again! It's been quite a while now that I don't go to the Headquarters anymore!" Neville Longbottom, an auror like Harry but one that worked in the investigations division of the department, spoke to greet Harry. He was wearing a very nice pair of Gryffindor scarlet robes, a pointed hat and long dark hair down to his neck. He, too had a few recognitions from the Aurors on the right of his robes and wore them proudly, even if he didn't spend much time in the field anymore.

Harry grinned at her. "Right back at you, Nev. You even look relaxed," he laughed.

"More like bored," he responded. I thought the investigations division would be more like the muggle CSI show. Thank you, by the way, Hermione, for you device! I'm loving muggle TV," he said with an easygoing smile.

Hermione blushed and smiled at first, but then looked at Ron's expression and sighed. "I'm glad to have muggle TV as well. So, investigation not as fun as CSI?"

"Not at all. It's mostly paperwork, so I'm getting bored. Thinking of going into active duty again," he looked at Harry, his former partner in auror training, "what d'you reckon, partner?"

Harry smiled, "couldn't be happier to have you back, mate," he said and didn't quite notice the slightly hurt look Ron gave them for a split second.

They all got settled in their seats and it was now time for the Opening ball, and the Head Boy and Girl who organized this year's reunion -Harry and Hermione- had to open. They moved swiftly along the floor, as if it just came naturally to the two, which was virtually true. But there was something unnatural only the two felt. They were both hiding something and fighting something down. No one else noticed, and Ron and Lariana both just stared at the so-called "undying couple" by the tabloids.

Despite the tense environment between the two couples at the table, the evening went pretty uneventful after that, with occasional glares exchanged amid the two young men and awkward glances shared by Harry and Hermione.

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2004 - Grimmauld Place, London

_______________________________

Harry blinked and found himself in front of Lariana, who was looking at him with a curious expression. "What is it, Harry?" he heard her faraway voice and shook his head, focusing on the woman in front of him. She was really beautiful; wonderful, what any man would dream of… and she had loved him dearly. Lariana would've never hurt him so; which was more than he could say of the way Hermione had acted…

Indeed, he had been a git with Hermione, but she didn't have to do that, she didn't have to run to his best friend! Harry had always known that Ron had had a crush on Hermione for the longest time, but he would've never imagined that the person he would've trusted his life with; one of the two people he would've trust with the most important thing to him: Hermione. Harry would've never imagined that Ron would do that to him, despite anything he might've done during those years.

Finally, he blinked and realized what he had in front of him. He smiled at Lariana and took a hand to her cheek, caressing it gently. "Nothing, I was just thinking," he said softly.

"Er… all right, I guess," she said with a slight frown.

"When was the last time I told you how much I care about you?" he asked seemingly out of the blue.

Lariana sniffed with a smile. "What are you talking about?" she asked, utterly puzzled.

"Answer me."

"Uh- I don't really remember. Why are you asking me this?"

"Because I should tell you how special you are every single day," he whispered, leaning forward to kiss her.

At first, Lariana started to draw back, but then the memory of that year and a half with him came back to her and her will lost; she sank herself into his lips and breathed in almost awe as his mouth claimed hers.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Seven thirty in the morning, it was time. Hermione left her flat, determined on telling him what Draco had told her a couple days ago and on apologizing as well… If this all was going to end today, it might as well end well, as it should have from the beginning. She had heard no word from Ron since that day at the Hospital, and was starting to get worried.

This had happened before, Ron just needed some time to cool off and then they would talk. They ended up making up always, but the scars stayed, and left one mark after the other… she wondered if someday they would both be so full of scars that one more would just not fit anymore.

And she was almost positive that that limit had come for her. She really DID love Ron, but when something wasn't meant to be, it just didn't work, no matter how hard you tried. She took the subway to the suburbs, just not feeling like driving the whole two hours to Grimmauld Place and feeling too sick to apparate.

Without really noticing, she took her hand to her flat belly every so often and would rub it softly. That bug she'd got was harsher than she'd expected, it was lasting over two weeks now and Hermione started to wonder if her initial feeling had really only been a hallucination.

That's my stop… she said to herself when the train came to a halt. She stood and went to the door but couldn't manage to get off. My stop… she repeated to herself.

"Oy! Move it girly!" A purple-looking man ushered her.

"Some of us have lives we need to get to before noon!" A woman just behind her snarled and almost pushed Hermione off the train.

She stumbled and nearly fell on her face. "Hey! Manners!" Hermione snapped back and steadied herself, walking gracefully out of the station and ignoring the glares from the ones she'd held back for a full minute.

Fifteen minutes later, she was already at the door of number twelve, Grimmauld Place. She thought of the place and the house appeared before her. Hermione raised her hand to knock on the door, but noticed it was half open… Tonks, Remus or Lariana had probably forgot to lock it properly, she assumed, so she decided to enter, figuring Harry would be up stairs in their- in his room and shouldn't get up from bed to open the door.

"Hello?" she called into the echoing hall. No answer. She started up the stairs; this house had always given her the creeps, to be honest; especially if she was alone there. Finally she reached the third floor, the top room, Harry's room.

The door was half open, and there was almost no sound coming from inside. She peered and saw no one on the bed. Frowning, she opened the door fully only to find Harry and Lariana deep into a kiss that was growing increasingly warm, from where she stood.

Hermione couldn't help gasping loudly; this was the very last thing she would've expected! Her mouth fell open and a second later, she closed the door hard, slamming it and sliding to the floor with her face in her hands.

She hadn't expected this to affect her so… it was utterly puzzling to feel so intensely after so long. Her hand went again to her belly as the other remained on her forehead.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

As they kissed, Harry's lips remembered her taste… sweet vanilla as always, and he smiled resignedly on her lips. They pulled away and stared at the other for a moment.

Finally, Lariana leaned forward once more and kissed him again, while her fingers went to the back of Harry's head, intertwining them with his long, unruly black hair… When it was this long, the ends twisted into small curls that Lariana had always adored. And here she was again, with his curls between her fingers. Something still felt odd, but she wasn't going to elaborate into that… not right now.

Just then, the door opened up and they were separated by the startle. Harry looked at the newcomer and his eyes widened, his jaw dropping at the same time as Hermione's. He saw her eyes fill with crystal tears and she slammed the door shut.

Harry pulled away from Lariana and pretty much jumped to the door. "Hermione! What in the-" he started but at the sudden movement, he was blinded by pain and had to stop short.

"Harry!" Lariana cried. Did it have to be like this? It was the second time that happened and as much of a nice person Lariana was, she couldn't help the growing dislike towards Hermione. She ran to him as he cringed with pain. "You shouldn't move!"

He looked at her and shook his head, gathering himself up again and opening the door. "Mione! What are you doing here?" he asked with a mix of emotions inside him that he didn't quite like.

She gasped when seeing him and stood in the blink of an eye, wiping the tears away and taking a few steps away from him as another wave of sickening feeling took her by surprise.

The pretty brunette had to run to the bathroom as she vomited what seemed to be the very insides of her stomach. When she was done, her mind finally caught up with her emotions and she closed her eyes. "Professional journalist, not ex," she told herself over and over again and replayed Draco's words on her head until she was certain that she could face him.

When Hermione opened the door, it wasn't surprising to find a worried and pale-looking Harry outside the door, and a hurt and angry-looking Lariana a few meters away. "Are you all right?" he asked before anything.

"Yes, I am fine, thank you," she said with all the dignity she could muster.

"Good. Now, what in Merlin's name were you doing inside my house?" he inquired a little angrily now that he was sure she was all right.

She saw the fire in his eyes and had to take an encouraging breath. "I have information that might be of use to you," she said, deciding to completely leave aside the other thing she was going to tell Harry.

He frowned. "Couldn't you have sent an owl?"

"No, it is inside information, but I am sure that it can wait," she said coolly and directed a glance to Lariana. "Till you are done," she finished and apparated away, back to her flat, where she could fall apart if she wanted.

"Hermione, wait!" he extended his hand but only got a hold of her cloak before she disappeared. "Argh! What do you expect? What do you want me to do, huh?" he yelled, looking up at the ceiling and took a hand to his hair, scratching his head furiously in frustration.

Harry finally looked up at Lariana and had to look away; she was never going to be gone, was she? He wondered and shook his head, biting his lip. When putting himself together again, he walked to where Lariana was and put a gentle hand on her slender arm. "Lar, I-"

"I know what you were thinking. You are right…" she said as a tear made its way down her cheek. "I understand… but I think I have to move out. Obviously I'm not over you, even after all these years," she said bitterly but calmly and walked away from him.

Harry sighed and took her by the shoulder. "No, please! Lar, don't. Where will you live?" he asked, grasping at straws at this point.

She jerked her body gently, away from his touch. "I don't know, I will see."

"And protection?"

"I am sure Remus and you can arrange something," she stated flatly and finally looked up at him. "Don't think I hate you, I know you will. I don't. I just… need a bit of time away for this all to settle up, all right?" she said in a weak yet clear voice.

"I never meant to-"

"But you did," she responded quickly, before he finished. "But it's all right. One can't help who they fall in love with, can they?" she said with a small smile. "I'm just- Thank you for… for the time we spent together," she told him and kissed his cheek softly, remaining there for a moment to memorize his scent. "I will always be there when you need me to. I will always love you," she echoed his very own voices from such a long time ago and walked away, leaving a startled Harry behind as the deja-vú sensation washed the peaceful environment that had been there only minutes before.

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February 2002 - Grimmauld Place, London

_______________________________________

In only three days, she would be Mrs. Potter… and Lariana thought it was just too good to be true. Lately, she had been waking very early in the morning, before their usual jog, just to watch him sleep: the-boy-who-lived, the amazing auror, the wonderful Quidditch player… but most of all, the great man he had become in spite of everything he'd gone through… and he was sleeping next to her, looking so serene. His muscled back was half-wrapped in the thick covers, one arm resting close to her bare left leg and the other one dangling from the right side of the bed.

As she watched him, a strange feeling assaulted her. Could this all be a lie? She thought desperately. With his eyes closed he seemed peaceful and happy; the usual haunting, the one she noticed when he was distracted or looking away was not there. The somewhat organized confusion was not deep in there either because he had those amazingly beautiful green spheres closed to himself. Lariana looked at him, hoping this was only pre-marriage nerves, as Mrs. Weasley had told her.

She was shaken away from her thoughts by Harry's wand vibrating under his pillow. He squinted his eyes in protest as a very primitive sound escaped his thin lips. Lariana had to giggle at this; for some it could be gross but to her it was adorable. Finally, Harry opened his eyes and tried to focus on the woman to his left, still wearing his shirt from the previous night.

"Wutisssut," he asked, his words muffled in the pillow, which he was helplessly trying to use as a shield from the light of the early morning.

She giggled again and caressed the back of his head lovingly. "Nothing baby, it is time to go out, that's all."

"Whyeryouaweek," he continued with his face hidden in the pillows.

Lariana hit him playfully, turning him around. "Come on, you slacker! You've got a long day ahead! Guard today and you can't have a long day without your early morning run."

"Awwww… no, mum I don't want to get up! Five more minutes!" he protested, stubbornly keeping his eyes shut."

She laughed once more and jumped on top of him, determined to wake him up. "So you don't want to open your eyes aye, naughty boy?"

The air was knocked off Harry for a moment and he gasped for breath, instinctively opening his eyes to seize his attacker. He grinned and took her by the arms, turning them around so that he was on top and pinning her to the bed with a lazy grin on his face. "You evil little…" he exclaimed and started kissing her all over.

"Har- Harry no! No! Stop it! You'll choke me!" Lariana started screaming and trying uselessly to rid herself of the man's grip while laughing uncontrollably.

"Ha! That's- what- you get- when messing with Potter almighty!" he said, kissing her in a tickling spot each pause.

Finally, she got a hold of his weak spot, the right back of his head, and tickled at it, making Harry fall immediately to a side, roaring with laughter.

"Mean- no! You… stop it!"

"Surrender?"

"Never!"

She did it harder and Harry was laughing so much that no sound came from his mouth anymore. "Surrender?"

He gasped, nodding energetically. "Y- yeah. You win!" he said breathlessly and finally ridded himself of her and turned his back on Lariana, crossing his arms before his chest like a pouting child.

"Aw… baby Potty got mad?" she said in a high pitched voice.

"Hmph." Was all the response she got back.

Lariana leaned over the bed and rested her chin on Harry's shoulder. "Potty, Potter…" she sinsonged softly in his ear.

A moment of silence.

Then, Harry turned around with the quickness of a feline and took her in his arms, kissed her and dissapparated from bed, appearing in the walk-in closet and quickly getting changed. When he was on the door already, he stopped to look at his soon-to-be wife and his mouth dropped. "What? You wake me up, nearly kill me and you're not ready? Unbelievable!" he exclaimed, throwing his arms up.

After they'd gone for their usual run and came back, the two got ready to go down for breakfast with a couple of sleepy aurors. Tonks' short brown hair was standing up on the back like a cockatoo and Remus was looking so tired and sipping to his coffee so slow that Harry was sure it was already ice cold.

"Good morning roommates!" he yelled and made the two jump and instinctively draw their wands out. "Woah! Chill out, it is a bright day!" he told them with a big grin.

"Looks like someone got some over the morning," Tonks stated with a smirk.

"I am appalled that you have that image of me, Nymphandora!" Lariana came down and walked past Harry, pinching his buttocks on the way down.

"Oy! No need for nasty words!" the brunette said with annoyance at her hated birthname and the three laughed.

"Long day ahead?" Harry asked Remus, who just nodded grimly.

"The blasted Death Eaters racking havoc again," he said to Harry. "Not to mention the full moon is tonight," he stated, more to himself and looked up at his former student, shaking his head out of the reverie. "You got a long day ahead too," he said with a sneer.

Harry scowled at him and shook his head. "Did you have to ruin the morning?"

"You nearly gave me a heart attack, it is only fair," the man that had almost adopted Harry his last year of school said with a cheeky grin.

"You're getting old, man."

"And you're getting more annoying with each day…" he finished and gave his cold coffee one last sip, making a face to it as he stood. "Ugh! Cold coffee!"

"See you at the office!" Harry called as his boss departed.

"And don't forget the- uh… never mind," she said to Remus with a sheepish look.

"I'll be at the general rehearsal," he responded with a smile.

Lariana nodded. "Take care, then," she told Remus as he dissapparated from the kitchen.

Tonks stood immediately. "I have to go too, need to do some paperwork," she said quickly and was about to dissapparate as well when she stopped. "The rehearsal dinner is at eight thirty, right?" she told the two, who nodded. "See you at the office!" and with a pop, she was gone.

"I better go too," Harry told Lariana after a moment. "I'll be there at- say, seven?" he asked, Lariana nodded. "Seven sharp it is then. I love you!" he kissed her once more and soundlessly vanished from the kitchen.

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February 2002 - Hermione's flat

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She woke up with a feeling that this wasn't exactly going to be a good day. She only very seldom got up with these feelings, but they usually turned out to be right and Hermione was most definitely not looking forward to more stress, she was already sick to her stomach with Harry and Lariana's wedding coming up in three days.

She looked at the man sleeping next to her and sighed, leaning forward and kissing his forehead. "It's a new day, Ron, wake up. You have the Press Conference in an hour," she told him softly.

The red-head stirred and groaned, he hated to be woken, but if it was Hermione, he could bare it. A small smile appeared in his lips and he groaned again. "No, five more minutes," he protested, but Hermione had already got up and was at the door.

"Come on, sleepy head, you don't want to be late again," she said with a small laugh that was a weird mix of amusement and annoyance.

Ron opened his eyes and looked up with a scowl. "Aw, fine," he said with a pout and rested his face on his elbows to look at her and stuck his tongue at Hermione.

She rolled her eyes and apparated next to Ron, on the bed, kissing him on that G-spot that always woke him up and dissapparated again to the door. "Now, get up," she said in her usual bossy tone.

With a quite pleasant shiver in certain parts, he was awake in a split second. "Hey! You can't leave me like that!" he called to the door through where Hermione had just disappeared towards the kitchen to make breakfast.

As she got there, the sick feeling persisted in the pit of her stomach and she wondered if it was the stress or something else. There was, however, one thing that kept coming back to her mind: Harry, her Harry, was getting married with a girl he'd met less than two years ago… How on Earth did that happen?! Her mind kept insisting and she had to stop it by reminding herself that she had been the one to "dump" him.

The making of Ron's favorite breakfast passed automatically. She put flour, eggs, baking powder and milk in the blender, and then poured the contents in a pan to get the pancakes ready before he came down from his shower and already in his dressing robes.

It was inevitable for her mind to persist on that same point over and over again, but she had screwed him once, and she didn't want that story to be repeated, even if a big part of her would've liked to keep insisting.

Perhaps she needed some time by herself, without Ron or Harry in her life to make it complicated. Her eyes lingered then in the photo album of their years at Hogwarts that sat on the living room and then into her very own trophy of the final battle… One of Voldemort's last Horcruxes… Hufflepuff's cup, the piece of Voldemort's soul she had destroyed herself, with Ron's help, at the near cost of her life had it not been by Harry's quick action.

Then she understood for real that they could never be completely gone from her life; there was too much history there, too many lives saved and even more risked. But she would never have one and would never be completely with the other one. A slight tear slid through her pale cheek and she brushed it away quickly, knowing what she had to do; knowing that she had to give this… eternal love of hers a proper closure.

The door to the kitchen swung open and closed as Ron came in, all dressed up and looking as a fancy London lawyer, with a grin in his face. "Good morning!" he said brightly.

She smiled back at him as he walked two long strides towards her and kissed her as if everything was all right… which prolly was with him. "You look cheerful today, why is that?" she asked.

Ron grinned back at her and winked. "I. Have. A secret!" he singsonged in a voice very much like Luna's back in fifth year.

She laughed and rolled her eyes. "What is it? Are you not going to tell me?" Hermione asked him.

"I went to Hogsmaede the other day…" he only said, vaguely, looking cocky.

Hermione raised both eyebrows at Ron. "Did you, now?" she asked, crossing her arms before her chest.

"Yup."

She waited a moment for him to keep speaking and rolled her eyes when he didn't. "Come on, are you really going to make me get it out of you with a teaspoon?" she asked, putting her hands on her hips.

"Yup."

"Ronald Billius Weasley," she snapped in her most Mrs. Weasley-ish voice.

He cringed at hearing his full name. "What was that for?" he asked mockingly angry.

"Had an effect, didn't it?" she asked with a smirk.

"Ha-ha, very funny. Well, you want to know or not?" She nodded energetically and he produced a box from the inside of his robes, smiling expectantly at her.

Hermione cocked her head to a side with a curious expression and extended her hands to take the box. Her eyes widened as she took in what this was, and she looked at Ron through crystal eyes. "I- Is this-?"

Ron smiled and nodded. "The very first commercial model of Plugical," he stated with bright eyes.

Hermione's mouth fell open and she scanned his look for any sign that said differently from the act, her attention driven from the artifact itself to him. "Are you-?"

"Yes, I was a git. I'm sorry, Mione," he said sincerely, staring at his feet a moment. He was startled and nearly thrown off balance as Hermione tackled him and she wrapped her arms around Ron's long neck. "Whoa! Mione!"

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" she said and kissed him deeply for what felt the first time in ages.

Ron had left their flat about a month and a half after she had finally succeeded in inventing the Plugiucal; a plug that would permit muggle electricity-driven artifacts to work in a magical environment. He claimed that she was out too much by herself and that she didn't have time for him anymore. By the time Christmas came, Harry had announced his engagement to the Weasley family and Ron was so relieved that he and Hermione got back together soon after, but there was still some resentment on both sides.

After its invention, Plugical had only gone off to the big Wizardring companies, but just a couple of days before, it had come out for public and commercial use, which would grant Hermione with a generous sum of money, and a ton of recognition… even more if it was possible.

After a couple minutes, they split apart and Ron went to his press conference, leaving a relieved Hermione behind. She was still somehow troubled over Harry and Lariana but in the end she came to the conclusion that he deserved that despite everything that had happened and in spite of the love she would always have for him. They had grown apart, and from where she stood, there was no turning back now… he was about to get married and that meant the rest of his life with someone other than her… in theory.

Hermione allowed herself a small mourning when she was sure Ron hadn't forgotten anything and when the press conference had already started. She wanted him with her that night, to have someone hold her over this grief that a part of her still refused to accept.

She spent that afternoon cooking a romantic dinner from Mrs. Weasley's book but hard as she tried, her cooking had never and would never best that of the woman that had almost adopted her when her parents died, six years ago. She wanted to surprise him, to force herself all in all in this relationship she had given up so much for. But there was one more thing she had to do before making this determinant decision, in hopes of saving at least some of the remnants of that profound love and friendship they had once shared. She wanted to go to Harry and tell him she was glad for him and that she wished them happiness. And she also wanted to apologize in advance for not going to his wedding.

It was almost seven and dinner was nearly ready. Ron would be home any minute, and her eyes lingered for a moment on the table, which was very inviting. To her eyes, it looked almost perfect, and that was saying a lot, considering her limited talents when it came to cooking fancy dinners. With all her job and both their schedules, Hermione had become a frozen-food girl, as much as she had despised it when she was younger.

She was lighting the candles the old muggle way, when the floo announced a call. Hermione frowned and went over to the fireplace in the living room. "Yes?" she asked and paled when seeing Ron's face in the chimney; she knew what he was going to say and felt horrible even before he began to speak.

"Mione, babe, I'm sorry, I won't be able to come home tonight, a couple contracts we've been waiting for have just arrived and-"

He looked sincerely guilty when speaking and Hermione sighed. "You will have to spend the night on the flat at the office," she finished with a touch of disappointment in her voice.

"Well, yes. I'm sorry. I'll be home tomorrow morning and will get the day off if I finish with this," he told her and tried a smile.

Letting out a breath, she nodded. "Yes, it's all right, I guess. Just get some sleep," she said and turned away from the fireplace as Ron's face disappeared in green flames. "So much for the romantic dinner," she muttered to herself and with a wave of her wand, the table was clean.

She was walking back to her room, a little sad and a little annoyed at the same time. She would watch sappy movies all night and probably have some Chinese food in bed. She could very well apparate to China and get some Chinese there but didn't really feel like it. After the award, she had been granted with a full-access pass from the International Magic Department; one only high-rank Aurors and other Ministry Head of Departments got.

And then it occurred to her, she could go to see Harry tonight and finally get a closure to this whole thing… or at least make an attempt at that. Quickly she ran to the living room and floo-called Grimmauld Place. She would ask Harry for a small meeting and hoped he agreed; if not… well she would have to go and see him anyways.

The green flames erupted in the Sitting Room of the huge house and Hermione's head was suspended in the middle of them. "Harry?" she called to the house. No answer. "Tonks? Remus?" she tried again.

It was a little while before a head popped into the room, and Hermione's former professor looked at her with a puzzled expression. "Hermione?" he asked, uneasiness in his voice because the only time Hermione had floo-called Grimmauld Place, it hadn't been just for a chat. "Is everything all right?"

She was about to leave when she picked Remus' face. "Remus!" she exclaimed. "No! I mean, yes! Everything's fine, I only need to speak to Harry, where is he?"

He frowned. "Uh- what do you need him for?"

Hermione sighed and closed her eyes for a second, recovering from the small shock, which shouldn't come as a surprise after what had happened between them all. "It's nothing bad, honest," she said, trying to smile at the Head of Aurors.

Remus sighed in relieve. "Today is the rehearsal dinner," he started, "tonight is the full moon," he added at her questioning expression. "It is at Hogwarts," the man finished, looking extremely tired and even ill.

"Thank you, Professor!" she exclaimed and then laughed at herself. "Sorry," she said sheepishly.

"No worries," Remus chuckled. When she was about to disappear, he called back at her. "Hermione! Please promise me you won't do anything… he's about to get married, and is almost over you… please?" the man pleaded.

Hermione sighed, her eyes watery. "I won't, Remus. I sincerely want to congratulate him and give him my best wishes," she said honestly and disappeared after an approving nod and a smile from one of her mentors.

________________________

February 2002 - Hogwarts

________________________

The wedding would take place at Hogwarts and the rehearsal was about to start. Harry had wrapped things up quickly at the office so he could be there early and meet Lariana before the guests arrived. In spite of his best efforts, it was already 6:46pm when he left the Aurors Headquarters, so he had exactly fourteen minutes to get ready, apparate to Hogsmaede and make his way to Hogwarts, where he would meet Lariana before the rehearsal started.

There had been a lingering thought in the back of his mind that wouldn't let him be completely sure and calm about his wedding… Hermione and Ron had sent the invitation back, and the idea of having the two people that had been with him in most of the hardest times, was not appealing to him at all.

But on the other hand, not having Hermione there could also be positive; he wouldn't remember the moments they'd had and the deep love the two had shared for longer than the time they'd been a formal couple, which was good because there would be no doubts present when Lariana walked down the aisle in her simple, white wedding dress.

He apparated home, took a shower and got ready in the blink of an eye. With one last glance at his black pants and pale blue shirt, the mirror winked at him; "heartbreaking", it told Harry and he winked back. "Thanks mate!" Harry told Mirror-Harry with a wave of his hand. "Anytime," the image responded as it disappeared in thin air after a soft pop.

"Just in time," he told himself when the village took form before his eyes and the seven o'clock bells announced his arrival. He looked around at the snowy streets with a smile; he had always wanted to have a house in a place like this, or at least a country house where he could take his kids to play in the snow, but Lariana's work demanded her to be closer to the muggle city and Harry had postponed this dream of his until further notice.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The pretty blue sky and the snow sprinkled trees greeted a nervous, yet renewed Hermione Granger at Hogsmaede Village. The fresh air announced, to her, a new beginning; a satisfactory mission to come. She looked around at the small, traditional houses in the outskirts of town and smiled with calm longing.

The first thing she'd wanted to do after winning the award had been build or get one of those little houses but Ron had ominously been against it, saying it would be too much like being back at school. Reluctantly, she had kept her flat, just outside of London.

A moment later, she shook herself from the reverie at the sound of the seven o'clock bells. "Oh, goodness!" she breathed and started towards her old school. On her way, she thought she recognized a blue shirt, accompanied by mass of unruly black hair popping into her field of vision. She did a double take and screwed her eyes to see more clearly.

The familiar figure jumped a little at the sound of the bells. Immediately, Hermione sped up her pace to catch up with him. "Harry!" she called as the man started towards the grounds of school. He came to a sudden halt and inevitably, she ran into him, unable to stop at such short notice.

His firm body, along with the tension of hearing her voice, made the woman nearly fall as she bumped into him. Instinctively, Harry extended his arms to prevent her from falling from the collision. She was in his arms, half falling, and they found themselves staring into each others' eyes for what felt like an eternity but was only a couple of seconds.

"'Mione? What are you doing here?" he asked, without realizing they were still holding each other. He steadied her a moment later and took a step back. "I thought you had sent the invitation back," he asked with a trace of resentment in his voice.

Recovering herself quickly, her mind caught up with the situation and she let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. "Oh… uh- Ron sent it back," she said quickly. "I…"

Harry's face hardened almost unconsciously. "You, what? Where's Ron?" he asked as nonchalant as he could muster.

She flushed and for a moment, anger flashed through her eyes, followed by sadness, which made Harry's demeanor relax. Hermione sighed and looked for his gaze. "He is working, and I wanted to come to-" she closed her eyes and took a breath. "To congratulate you. Give you my best wishes," she said, almost unable to believe she was standing here, doing this. She searched for his eyes once more and picked a questioning glance. "Honest!" she exclaimed defensively.

He looked deep into her soul -or so it felt to Hermione- for the longest time, Harry's shoulders relaxed and he let out a breath. "You really came for this, didn't you?" he asked in a tone she couldn't quite place in her records.

"Yes." Was all she answered.

After what seemed forever, Harry finally spoke again at last. "I can't believe this."

"I know, me neither."

"I'm getting married in three days."

"I know!"

"And you are here."

"I am." They echoed each others' thoughts without even exchanging looks.

"To congratulate me," he added flatly.

"Closure."

"Indeed."

"A drink?"

"Please!" Harry said and they finally crossed gazes, a small smile tugging at both their lips.

They walked across town towards The Three Broomsticks, side by side, no words needed, like the two best friends they used to be back at school.

As they had their drinks, only occasional looks or comments showed that they had actually come together. They were so comfortable in the company of the other that they needn't talk, and time flew past them with a couple more drinks.

Hermione was starting to feel a little drowsy due to the firewhisky (she had never been one to hold her alcohol) when she looked at her Disney watch, and her eyes widened. "Goodness!" she exclaimed.

Harry jumped at the sudden outburst. For once since he remembered, he hadn't been thinking about anything; just enjoying the company of his best friend. He hadn't even been thinking of the time of the meeting with his fiancée or the rehearsal dinner at all. "What is it?" he asked alarmed and his eyes fell on the watch he had given her so many years ago. He gasped loudly. "Bloody hell!" the man cried and without even saying goodbye, he vanished from Hermione's side.

"Harry!" she extended her hand to grab him but only caught his cloak. "Oh, brilliant," she said to air and buried her face in her hands. It had terribly backfired.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

As he hurried through the paths of Hogsmaede towards Hogwarts, his mind had re-engaged in the paranoid, thinking-too-much state, and all the implications and consequences of that little limbo were going round and round in his head.

He had forgotten about the meeting, about dinner about everything! And she had only came to congratulate him, sincerely congratulate him! So why had he felt that there was nothing missing in that moment? Why had he felt so much at ease with her if they hadn't done anything! He asked himself over and over again while the snowy trees passed him. "She will fucking kill me, that's what she'll do!" he was cursing through ragged breaths of agitation and the cold weather.

Not even taking in his surroundings, he put the "automatic pilot" towards the place that had been home for so long. Suddenly, he collided with another figure, wrapped in a dark green cloak and knocked her off her feet. "Great Merlin! I'm so-" he started as he helped her up but was cut off by blazing dark green eyes. He felt as if someone had cast a reducing charm on him under those fiery eyes. Oh, she IS mad. "Lar! I-"

"Ugh! Harry how many drinks have you had?" Was the first think the pretty woman said, making a face as she took distance from him.

"I am so sorry baby, I was- uh… well, I apparated here just in- and then-" he tried, gesturing wildly with his hands.

"Where the hell were you? Dinner is almost over, I was worried sick!"

"I-" he urged his mind to make up and excuse but found that he was unable to lie to someone he cared so much about. For a strange reason, he felt like he had been unfaithful or something, which he hadn't in any level.

"You…" she pushed.

"I was-" he took a hand to his black hair and noted Lariana's demeanor change… she had sensed there was something… he slumped and looked helplessly into her eyes. "I was with Hermione," he finally spoke.

Lariana was quiet for a moment and looked away. "Why were you with her while you should've been with me and your guests?" she asked calmly but Harry knew better that she was at the verge of exploding.

"It is not what it seems!" he said quickly. "Honest!"

"Isn't it?" she asked, her voice rising. "Then enlighten me, please. What should I presume when my soon-to-be husband misses a meeting with me and then strands me and his guests up at the rehearsal dinner for our wedding to be with his ex-girlfriend, with whom, conveniently, it was never really over until recently… or that's what I thought at least."

He bit his bottom lip. "Well… you have a right to be angry," he started.

"I have a… I'm sorry, I have a right? To be angry? Fucking aye, I do!"

"Yes! Yes! But-" he pleaded with both his hands raised, as to calm her down.

"But what, Harry. But what?"

"But she only came to congratulate us! And I ran into her before I got to school and-"

"And it took you three hours to tell her thank you and point her in the right direction to her flat?"

"No! It's not that! Just that- well, it was nice…" he said at the lack of a more valid argument.

"Nice enough that you thought you could just leave me, was it?"

"Oy! Isn't this getting a bit out of hand?" he asked, trying to calm the fumes.

"Out of hand? Harry! It was our rehearsal dinner! And you were with Hermione!"

"I know I was with Hermione but-"

"But what? Is there any way around it? Why are you so tense?" she asked, her psychology diploma coming through to the situation.

"Don't pull that rubbish on me!" he said defensively, knowing full well where this was going.

"What rubbish on you? You should be a little more relaxed!"

"You are angry!"

"And when has that perturbed you so?"

"I-" he looked away for a moment and Lariana looked the other way immediately.

"I see… this can't happen, Harry. We're getting married, you know?" she said more calmly, her voice failing her a little.

"It's not that I can help it," he said with regret.

"You should be able to. I should be good enough," she stated flatly.

"Lariana- what? That's not it at all! I'm lucky to have you, you know that!"

"Yes, you bloody well are… but it's just- not enough apparently." Her voice cracked a little. "I think we shouldn't-"

"No! Please don't say what you are about to say," the man pleaded.

"You know it better than me, Harry."

"Lariana…" he extended his hand to touch her shoulder as she was turning around. "Don't do this, you're just angry."

"No, that's not it and you know it," she said and he immediately understood what she was saying.

"Are you sure?"

"Do I have an option?"

"You could- not do it…" he said pathetically and managed to steal a small chuckle from her.

"Yeah, right."

He sighed, knowing that she was completely right in what she was saying. They could never have a normal and healthy marriage if there were ghosts haunting them every minute of every day. He sagged and let his arm fall back to his side. "You know I will always love you… but you're right, it just isn't fair," he told her lamely.

"You are right, it is not," Lariana stated coldly and then her expression softened. "But it is better that we did this before…" she finished in a small voice and kissed him on the lips softly, reluctant tears running down her olive cheeks… a farewell kiss that carried all the love she had for him.

"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust," Harry whispered as he watched her form walk away with the wind blowing at her pale green dress against the darkening sky. The only woman that had been able to give him peace after Hermione and the war was now walking away from his life.

A tear escaped his crystal green eyes and Harry sighed. "You will find that someone," he said, a rumor of hope and hurt to the wind, and he turned around, walking back towards Hogwarts and not even wanting to face everyone and tell them what had just happened.

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