Unofficial Portkey Archive

What is Love?

A/N: I should warn you that the most part of the fic doesn't follow a straight timeline. Memories of different times and places come and go with not much order. So it's not that I'm careless, but that's the way I decided to write it. The only timeline that does follow a normal speech is the present one, 2004. Look for the "heading" before each section, it specifies the year and the place the scene takes place at; that should make things easier.

Oh! And since you wanted the chapters to be longer, here you have it! ;) I don't reckon it'll reach the 30-50 pages of the chapters of Was and Will Be, but I hope you like it.

CHAPTER II

The Power of Pandora

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(2004 - London)

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Hermione kept walking all night, as far as her feet would agree to carry her, ending up in a cheap Wizard's Motel near The Leaky Cauldron. She cast some money from her vault at Gringotts and took a room, where she just lay on the bed, constantly staring at the other side, next to her, wondering how it would be had she chosen differently. She stayed up the rest of the night, memories flooding her mind mercilessly.

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(1996 - Little Whinging)

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They had a really good time the first few days, but they were running out of light topics of conversation. Hermione figured he would talk about what had happened when he was ready, but that moment was closer with every passing minute; eventually the time would come when they would have to talk about what Hermione dreaded, and Harry probably even more…

The faint morning light trespassed the windows like little spotlights directly into Harry's eyes, but he was determined to not let it wake him up. Suddenly, small tapping noises reached his ears and he squeezed his eyes. "I'm starting to have you as alarm clock," he muttered and reluctantly got off bed, to open the window.

Before he did so, he stopped and looked at Hermione's sleeping form, feeling the familiar tinkles in his stomach, stop it, will you? He snapped at himself and forced his eyes away from her.

He took his glasses and put them on, recognizing immediately the school's barn owl. His eyes widened and he dared not move. The owl tapped on the window again and Harry had to make a big effort to make his feet move and let the owl in.

As soon as the first one jumped in, another one got there and jumped in as well. Harry untied the two letters with trembling fingers and willed his throat to work with little success, only a small grumble escaped his lips.

He heard Hermione stirring and made another effort to speak, it worked now. "Hermione?" a croaking sound said.

She stirred again and opened her eyes slowly. "What's the matter? It is too early," she protested.

"Hermione." Came Harry's voice, more determined now.

She sat and looked at Harry, honestly annoyed. She was so beautiful when she first woke up, and Harry couldn't believe he hadn't seen it in the week and a half she had been staying with him.

"The OWLs are here!" Harry exclaimed and saw how all the morning flush left Hermione's cheeks as she took her hand to her chest, choking a small gasp. "Shall I open them?" he asked.

Hermione just nodded, unable to do or say much more.

He gave her the one addressed to Hermione Jane Granger. The Small Room at Number 4, Privet Drive. She took it hesitantly and opened them.

Harry did the same, and read the letter

Dear Mr. Potter,

We are pleased to present you with the results of your Ordinary Wizardring Level exams, taken between June the 12^th an June the 23^rd of the present year. Attached to this letter, you'll receive the respective grades, which go from T to O in order of your performance in the theoretical and practical exams.

Sincerely yours,

Griselda Merchbanks

Head of Wizardring Examinations

He turned the page and stared blankly at the piece of parchment.

Hermione looked up, her face shining with achievement; it fell when she saw Harry's expression. "Uh… Harry? How did it go?" she asked tentatively.

Harry looked up, his face still blank and then a grin broke across it. "I passed! I got all the marks I needed to take the NEWT classes to become an auror!" he shouted.

Hermione let out a squeal of happiness and wrapped her arms around him. "I got great marks too!"

They celebrated with butterbeer they got via delivery owl, a little something the Wizardring World had taken from the Muggle World.

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(2004 - London)

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Hermione had slowly drifted off with tears in her eyes and images in the back of her mind. Their OWL results, pretty much the first time they had hugged so tightly after they both had realized their feelings for the other.

She had no idea how that feeling had faded, or maybe it hadn't. She didn't really understand why she had acted the way she had, or the way he had. He had always been there for her, she remembered on their second year, how she felt him by her side when she was paralyzed.

But that time in Privet Drive would always be unforgettable, that had been the first time Harry had actually opened up completely to someone, and he had chosen her, not Ron.

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(1996 - Little Whinging)

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The sun was falling, dying the sky with a blood-red tone that announced an imminent revelation; Pandora's Box opening and Hermione knew he felt it too. Harry was sitting on the bed, staring blankly at the Chocolate Frog Card with his face imprinted.

Harry Potter

(1980 - )

That said on the front, Harry turned it around and read idly.

Harry Potter, The Boy Who Lived. At the tender age of one, he was able to diminish the Dark Lord for the time being. Some say he is gone forever, some say not. Currently goes to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizadry.

Hermione had her books open in front of her, on the small desk, but wasn't taking in anything she read. She stared at Harry for a while and then stood and sat next to him. She sighed, "what's on your mind, Harry? You know you can trust me, right?" she asked.

Harry looked up at her for a few seconds, looking as if he wanted to say something so badly, it hurt. He shrugged and looked back down at his own Chocolate Frog Card, but he had his eyes closed. "Nothing, really. Just wondering how many kids might have this, knowing only what it tells them," he lied. But lying to Hermione had never been plausible for Harry.

She pulled his chin up, forcing him to look into her eyes. "Harry…" she began. For a moment, she stared into his emerald green eyes and saw all the sadness in them. It hurt her. Hermione looked away, fighting back the tears that had started to well in her eyes; she looked back at him. "Harry, please… talk to me," she said softly, concern written all over her face.

Harry looked at her big, brown, teary eyes, feeling miserable for making her cry. He tried changing the subject and switched into careless-Harry mode with a big effort. "Er… When are we going to Diagon Alley?"

Hermione looked taken aback and then sighed, figuring he wouldn't talk about it… not just now. "I don't know, maybe tomorrow?" she tried to continue the conversation as if that little moment hadn't occurred.

Harry forced a smile. "Right, great!" He stood and walked to the door. "I'll be back with dinner, all right?" he said.

Hermione nodded. "Right, ok." She managed. As soon as he was out, tears of frustration started and she did her best to have them gone before Harry came back.

When he stepped out of the room, Harry leaned into the wall and slid to the floor, covering his face with his hands, his breath ragged. How could he be like that? Especially with Hermione. He snapped at himself mentally and then pulled himself from the floor, going down to get the food.

Minutes later, he was coming back with two plates in his hands, he had pushed it all to the back of his mind and was now smiling… but Hermione knew better. She had driven her mind from those thoughts and was now writing a letter to Ron, telling him to meet them in Diagon Alley the next day.

"To Ron?" Harry asked and placed her plate in front of her.

"Yup. Only that I don't know if he's in The Burrow or in Grimmaul-" Hermione was saying without meeting his eyes, but she didn't finish, for Harry had dropped his spoon, she looked up at him and sighed. "You know it is yours now, right?" she asked tentatively. "You were Sirius' only heir as he said before-"

Harry dropped his plate when she said his name, he couldn't help it. "Bloody hell!" he groaned and kneeled to pick it all up.

"Scourgify, Reparo," Hermione waved her wand and it was all cleared. At the end of last year, the sixsome had gotten a special permission from the Ministry to perform magic outside of school being underage wizards.

Harry stopped in mid-action when it was all clear, but he stayed on the floor, staring at where the food had laid moments before.

"Harry-"

"I'll go get another plate," he said before she could continue

"Harry wait!"

"What!" he said a bit louder than he had intended, he lowered his tone. "You want something?" he asked.

"Harry you can't avoid it forever, you know?"

"I don't want to go back to that place, and that is final."

"But it's the Headquarters of the Order!"

"So what?" he asked, he already had his hand on the door handle and wouldn't look at her.

"You can't keep running away from it" she said softly.

"No one's running!"

"Then why do you drop everything and run from wherever we are whenever I say his name"

Harry opened his mouth a couple of times to argue, but found no excuse. Finally, he spoke, "I- just don't want to talk about it, all right?" He started towards the door again, but Hermione took his arm.

"Sooner or later you'll have to face it"

"Says who?"

"Harry…"

"Leave me alone! It's my own things, and I decide whether I want to talk about it or not!" he said rather lamely and yanked his arm from her grip, but sat on the bed, saying nothing.

"I won't leave you alone, Harry!" she said firmly and sat next to him. "Why do you think I'm here? Why do you think I came?"

"Cause you didn't want to be at home?"

"Harry! Don't be so thick! You need to trust! Someone! Anyone!"

"Why? What's the point?" Hermione just looked at him, and he knew he had no way around it. Harry sighed with his eyes closed. "It was my fault Mione, it was my entire fault…" he finally spit out, almost in a whisper, his voice breaking.

He had finally shown his true colors and she was glad, but couldn't help feeling awful for him. "Oh Harry! It wasn't your fault at all! V- Voldemort would've managed to get you to go there by other means, and they would've all gone too," she said, not even believing herself.

But Harry didn't seem to have realized that, a knot started forming in his throat, pressing hard. His eyes started to fill with tears, but he wiped then away quickly. "If only I had opened it before… If only Snape had… If I wasn't such a bleeding fool!" he said, not able to hold the tears back anymore.

Hermione threw her arms around Harry and held him while he cried. She didn't really know what to do, but hold him.

He pulled away and wiped his eyes. "You would be ashamed of me if you saw what I have inside Hermione." He continued quickly before she could speak. "There isn't one single day where I don't hate so much. I'm even afraid of myself. Last June, when I was face to face with Bellatrix, I couldn't do a good Cruciatus cause I couldn't manage to hate that much. But now… now I'm afraid I might do it, and cause a lot of pain with it! She took it all Hermione! I have nothing left and I don't know how to keep going," now he couldn't wipe or hold the tears.

She looked at him. "You don't have to do this alone, you know?"

"You can't walk with me in this. I have to do it alone. I'll always be alone."

She slapped him hard. "You know that is not true!"

Harry took his hand to his cheek and looked at her.

"Oh Harry! I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to…" she out a hand on his injured cheek and stroked it.

Harry put his other hand on hers and stared into her light brown eyes. "Thank you," he just said. Slowly, they both leaned closer and without knowing it, they were kissing. They broke the kiss and Harry wrapped his arms around her. "Thank you, Mione"

She hugged him back. "I'll always be here"

"I know you will, and I can't find the words to thank you"

They fell back to the bed and slowly drifted off to sleep, holding each other.

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(2004 - London)

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It appeared to her she had barely fallen asleep when the chirping of birds and the early morning sunrays hit her eyes like daggers. She squeezed them shut and, resigned, finally opened them with a groan.

"What am I to do now? I'm in the middle of nowhere," she realized and a surge of fear wrapped her. She had no idea what to do or where to go now.

"Well, I'm in London. I may as well go to Diagon Alley and get some stuff," she continued to talk to herself.

She put some clothes on and was on her way to Diagon Alley, mostly to clear her head for a little while. As soon as she stepped through the archway, her glance went to the ice cream shop… when they had finally taken the chance. She smiled and then bitterness took her over once more.

After a while, she decided to put that on the back of her mind and go to the Potions Shop, she usually bought all those things in Hogsmaede Village, which was not too far from her and Ron's place… her and Ron. Hermione shook her head and sighed.

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