Unofficial Portkey Archive

What is Love?

A/N: Thank you very much for the wonderful reviews! You encourage me to keep going. I try to respond to as many as I can, but please understand I can't reply to all of them.

CHAPTER IV

No Matter What

And when the stars are falling, I'll keep calling

I will still love you

And when your dreams are fading, I'll be waiting

I will still love you

You are my summer breeze my winter sun, my springtime soul, my autumn touch of gold

You are my sky my rain a way which my love flows cuz you're all

The smile of my heart and the breathe of my soul

Ever if we find ourselves apart

We will hold out hopes and dreams

Forever in our hearts

Time will take us apart that's true

But I will always be there for you

Your in my heart and you'll be in my dreams

No matter how many miles between

I promise you that I won't forget

The day we kissed or the day we met

The sky may fall and the stars my too

But I will still, I will still love you

("I Will Still Love You" - Britney Spears)

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(2004 - London)

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"Thank you very much."

"You're very welcome, Miss Granger."

She looked up, taken aback by him knowing her name.

The man of the store laughed. "You're as famous as Mr. Potter," he said with a kind smile and then continued. "How is he?"

Hermione's smile fell. "Uh… I- I really don't know."

"How's that? Aren't you together?" he asked surprised.

"It's been a long time since we were together," she said darkly.

"Oh- I'm sorry. Take care, Miss Granger," he responded tentatively.

Hermione managed a small smile. "Thank you. You too."

She walked out of the store, sulking. Could that have gone any better? Is that a sign or I'm just crazy. I'm probably crazy. She argued with herself.

It was almost lunch time and Hermione's stomach was already protesting. She thought of going to the 3W (Weasley Wizard Wheezes), which now had expanded and had a small diner inside the shop, but thought it better. Ron had probably already told his older brothers and she wasn't in a mood to listen to anything they had to say.

She then thought of Ginny, but remembered she was away on some sort of conference. With one last sigh, Hermione decided to have lunch by herself. A little time with myself won't hurt, she comforted herself with that thought. She went by the stores and restaurants. `World's Wizards Cauldron', `Exotic traits for the Weird and the Late', `Madame Puddifoot's Café' (Hermione chuckled inwardly at the memory of this café) and-`The Hungry Wand'.

She stopped for a moment and lost herself faraway; visibly shuddering. It had all started here. She didn't know if to be happy about the memory that had led her to that wonderful year, or crushed on how it had ended.

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(1996 - Little Whinging)

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The next morning, Harry woke at a horrible tearing sound. He jerked up and covered his ears with his hands. "What the bloody hell!" he groaned.

Hermione stirred and opened her eyes. "It's a- a- an alarm spell" she said with a yawn. "Useful, eh?"

Harry roughly took the wand, "Finite Incantatum." He turned to Hermione. "Yes. If you want to leave someone deaf or scare them to death," he retorted, annoyed.

Hermione slowly got up. "Someone's grumpy today…" she pointed as she rubbed her eyes. She stretched and threw her legs to the side of the bed. "We're going to-." she stopped all of a sudden.

Harry had perceived the same thing and averted his eyes. "Diagon Alley, yes." He stood with a jump and took his bag, not really thinking what he was putting inside.

Hermione stared at him. "Uhm… it would look better if you changed first, don't you reckon?" she asked.

"Harry stopped and looked at her for a second. "Right. Yes." He started towards the walk-in closet and tripped over every single thing that was lying on the floor. He took out a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and put them on the bed; he started to undress.

Hermione kept staring and then shook her head. "I'll- go take a shower," she said quickly and walked to the door.

"Hermione?"

"Yes?"

"That's the closet," Harry pointed out with a bewildered look.

"Of course! I knew that," she tried her matter-of-factly tone, didn't work.

Harry stopped and took a deep breath. "Ok, control Mione, control," he mused and started towards the door, with his clothes in hand. He tripped over his trunk. "Ow… Fuck!" Harry cried out loud and leaned to grab his injured foot.

Hermione bit her bottom lip as she saw him attending his foot. "Right, that," she agreed and walked out of the room. She closed the door and leaned against it. "You certainly did it this time, Miss right TPO*," she snapped at herself.

Harry stared after her and as soon as she had walked out of the room, he took his hand to his forehead and sank to the bed. "Just perfect! You really are a genius Potter! Why on earth did you have to kiss her last night? Congratulations, you just fucked up the best friendship you'd ever had… except maybe for Ron," he argued with himself.

As she walked to the bathroom, she muttered to herself. "What will you do now that he won't talk to you ever again, huh? You just had to stick your foot in your mouth… his mouth, to be exact."

After a while she came back, wearing a pair of tight blue jean capris and a shirt that drew her forms perfectly; her long locks hung dripping and forming themselves in loose curls. When she entered the room, Harry looked up and she noticed his mouth slightly hanging open.

"Uhm… you look-." He didn't finish; he looked away and muttered, "I should be getting in the shower," a VERY cold shower, he added in his head. Moments later, he came back wearing a pair of blue jeans that were actually his size and a green t-shirt that went perfectly well with his eyes and contrasted beautifully with his hair; his hair was soaking wet and he was bare-footed.

Hermione looked at him when the door opened and couldn't help her eyes widening at the sight in front of her. Bloody hell! When did he become such a hunk! Hermione asked herself and forced her eyes away from him. "That was quick," was all she managed to say. One more stripe to the tiger, she mused at herself, finding her comment extremely lame.

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(2004 - London)

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Hermione chuckled at how childish they had been back then. None of them had had the slightest idea of what was expecting them. The horrors of the war that was being unchained and the drama they would cause themselves, just to add up to the fun, Hermione pointed out in her head.

She went back to her hostel and checked out. She wouldn't spend another night at that cheap place, having a vault full of money at Gringotts. It had come from her job as The Daily Prophet's star journalist. She had gotten the best stories with the least biased opinion and they valued that very much.

Ever since the Rita Skeeter/Harry Potter, the nutcase stage; they had changed completely their way of boarding the news and that's when Hermione had stopped writing for The Quibbler and migrated to the Prophet.

"Good morning Miss Granger, what can I do for you?" the receptionist asked. She recognized him, but didn't say anything. The least thing she needed right now was someone else asking her about Harry's whereabouts.

"I'd like a room please. With a queen-size bed if you would be so kind."

"The last one we have is #28, does that work for you?"

She froze at the number and nodded numbly. She paid for it and went upstairs. Just what I needed, she told herself.

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(1996 - London)

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Harry fell to the ground with a loud thump. "I hate floo! I can't wait to get my apparition license!" he grumbled.

Hermione laughed, she was cleaning away the remaining ashes off her top. She took a step closer as he finished getting the ashes from his jeans and he looked up at her as she approached. "You have a little-" she reached out her hand to his cheek and wiped out one little ash. They stayed locking glances for a long moment. "You were never good at floo-ing," she said almost in a whisper as he leaned closer without noticing it.

Suddenly, they heard a small cough and looked at a man to their right; they both looked down and blushed bright crimson. The man regarded them with quizzical looks. "Good morning Mr. Potter. What can I do for you?" he asked politely.

"Er… we'd like a room please," he said trying and failing to sound laid back and casual.

"Matrimonial?" the man asked with a trace of a smile.

He turned to Hermione, who was easily as bright red as Ron got sometimes; she gave him the smallest nod. "Uhm… yes please."

"You have room #28," he produced a key and continued, "it's going to be four galleons Mr. Potter," the man said.

"Right. Here you go." He gave the receptionist four galleons and two sickles.

Right after they had settled, Hedwig came back with a slightly angry letter. Within it all; it said that he would meet them after lunch because he had to accompany his family to a meeting in the Ministry. Hermione suspected that he might be jealous because they were spending the remaining holidays together, without him, but there was nothing she could do, except try and make it up to him later that day.

When Harry read the letter, he was a little taken aback; he was very aware of how much Ron fancied Hermione, and didn't like it at all. He tried to mask it by musing on what the meeting was about. They suspected Arthur was going to be offered the post of Minister after Fudge's resignation, but they wouldn't know for sure until that afternoon. And even if he got offered the job, there would have to be another candidate and a voting; that's how it all worked now.

"Uhm… which side do you want?" Harry asked.

"Left, did you really doubt it after two weeks of sleeping together?" She immediately bit her lip. "That didn't come out right, did it?"

Harry laughed. "No, it didn't."

"Sorry," she answered awkwardly.

"Are you hungry?" he tried changing the topic yet again.

"Yes! Definitely! Let's go get something to eat before Ron and Ginny get here," Hermione said, happy for the change of theme.

When they were outside, somehow Harry felt much more loose and he changed into best-friend mode. He bowed before Hermione and reached out his hand. "Where to, your majesty?" he asked with a smile.

Hermione got the hint and although she felt more flattered by this than she should've, she forced herself into best-friend mode. "You're my valiant knight; you escort me," she responded with another smile and took his hand in a very lady-ish way.

Harry took it. "The Hungry Wand, you reckon?"

"Sounds perfect," she said and reluctantly let go off his hand after a while, when she noticed people staring.

They entered the small restaurant and took a seat near the window. A waiter came over. "What can I serve you Mr. Potter?" he asked.

Harry jumped at the mention of his name; sometimes he just forgot about the whole boy-who-lived status and Hermione loved that clueless-ness. He received the menus from the waiter and he went away. As soon as he was out of earshot, Harry looked at Hermione. "I don't think I like that whole I'm-famous business," he mumbled.

Hermione laughed slightly. "Remember you're The-Boy-Who-Lived."

"That's what this says, huh?" he asked rather moodily, taking his finger to the lighting bolt scar.

"Ah-huh," Hermione agreed as she decided what to eat. Harry followed her lead.

When they were finished, the porcelain plates disappeared, replaced by two mugs of hot liquid. Hermione's was Hot Butterbeer and Harry had a Chai Latte in front of him.

She took a sip and stared at him, she smiled. "Want to try my hot butterbeer?" she asked.

Harry looked at her over a steaming mug. "Sure," he leaned across the table and nearly lost balance. After a split second, he regained his composure and sat back, rather roughly.

Hermione looked at his with a distant sadness and he looked away. Exasperated, she stood up. "Harry, I can't do this anymore!" she exclaimed, surprising even herself at the intensity of what she'd just said.

Harry was taken aback by this sudden outburst. "What do you mean?" he asked honestly.

"This has got to end!"

"The Hungry Wand?" he asked, rather lamely, seeing where this went.

She narrowed her eyes. "You bloody well know that's not what I mean."

"Uhm, I-."

"Don't you dare keep being evasive with me!" she threatened and Harry bit his response back.

He glanced around, people were staring, he bit his lip. "Er… what do you say if we go outside and talk about whatever you want…" he said tentatively.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Fine," she snapped and walked out of the shop.

Harry looked around once more and smiled sheepishly. He quickly paid and followed Hermione. "Wait up!" he called.

Hermione stopped and turned around. "How can you be so stubborn and insensitive?"

"I- well. About last night?" he asked and sounded utterly lame.

"Last night, this morning, ALWAYS!"

"Should we sit down?" Harry tried to talk himself out of the situation.

She narrowed her eyes again. "Harry James Potter, you know it's not going to work."

Harry raised his shoulders and sagged, sinking in a bench. "What's the big deal?" He asked; he knew it perfectly, but had decided to act as if it weren't important, maybe that way he would keep her safe… or as safe as he could.

"What's the-? Why are you acting like that?!" she cried, exasperated.

"Uh… I'm like that?" he asked and slapped himself mentally for the stupid answer.

"Would you please stop being a prat for one second?"

"I'm sorry! What do you want me to say?"

"Maybe you could start explaining that kiss last night…" she suggested, "or that almost kiss this morning…" she continued, "or how you're trying to change the subject and talk yourself out of any possible situation where we can talk about it!" she finished, out of breath.

"I- it was-," he looked into her light brown eyes and for a second imagined the worst things happening to her just because she was his girlfriend; the most important person for him. I'm not letting that happen, even if it costs her a heartbreak, he decided. "It was just the moment," he mumbled, but didn't look at her in the eyes; he had never been able to lie to Hermione.

She pulled his face to her. "Say that it didn't mean anything and say it looking into my eyes," she pushed.

"I can't!" he jerked his face away.

"Why?"

"Because! I thought you were the clever one!"

"I don't understand!" tears had started forming in her eyes.

Harry saw the tears in her eyes and hated himself for making her cry, but it was for the best, he assured himself. "I can't say it!"

"Why? Why can't you tell me if I mean something more to you?!"

"Why are you pushing so much on this?" he asked, his temper rising.

"Because! It meant the whole world to me, and- and I don't know if I could stand it if you didn't- I love you, Harry!" she cried and buried her face in her hands.

Harry was startled, had she just said she loved him? "What do you want from me Hermione? You know I cannot give you what you want! What you deserve. You know you're the person I trust the most, and my best friend and-," he stopped himself there and looked away.

"And what, Harry? And what?"

"And nothing! What do you want me to say?"

Her tears had somehow made their way out now and she stared into Harry's blank emerald green eyes. "What do you mean nothing? Why are you acting like that?"

Harry stood from the bench. "Why are you so hard-headed? Isn't it enough to be a target just for being so close to me?"

"I- I don't see what's that got to do," Hermione admitted.

Harry threw his hands in the air in desperation. "Have you got any idea on how easy it would be to break me if they took you? You haven't stopped to think that, have you?"

"I-."

"See? Exactly what I mean? It terrifies me to know that you are my vulnerable spot. You and Ron. Just stop to think for one second how it could be if I let you in… if I let you any closer."

"But I'm not going to get that, am I?" she asked bitterly.

"For crying out loud! You already are! Can't you see it?" Harry cried.

Hermione was startled and barely aware of what was coming out of her mouth. "See what?"

"See that you already are more then a friend and probably the most important person for me," he said in almost a whisper and turned his back on her. "It can't be, Hermione, I don't want to risk you anymore," he admitted softly.

"But, Harry-."

"Just look at how Sirius ended up? I don't want to lose you too."

It all pieced together now; the whole puzzle fit and made sense. She stood and put a hand on his shoulder. "Harry, look at me." Shoulders slumped, he turned around and met her beautiful eyes; Hermione smiled gently. "Nothing will happen to me, I don't know what I would do now that-." she looked down.

Harry lifted her chin. "What if it does?" he asked softly, "I couldn't stand losing you, don't you understand that?"

"I do, believe me, I do, Harry. More than you'd imagine. Every time something happens at school and I know that in the end you'll have to face it on your own, I go crazy. I would like to accompany you to the end of the world, but I know that's not going to happen. Anguish just eats me up over the summers, when I know that I can't be there to at least look after you… last year, after the Dementors attacked you, I was terrified, I was-," she didn't finish, for Harry had placed a finger over her lips.

"Shhhh… Don't think about those things Hermione, my love."

Her head snapped up. "M- my love?"

He managed a smile. "Don't you realize how much I love you? How in love I am with you? I don't want anything to happen to you…"

She smiled weakly. "Nothing will happen to me as long as I'm with you," she said.

"That's not true, and you know it. What if one day I can't protect you? I'd rather love you from the distance and in silence than have you by my side and get you killed."

"You have a choice, why don't I?" she asked. "I choose whatever fate as long as I'm with you…"

"But-"

"But nothing, Harry. It's foolish to love each other and are not be together. One day this will all be over and we'll have the chance to have everything. The chance for a peaceful life. I'd go wherever you will go."

"I'd go twice around the world for you Mione," Harry said with a smile.

"So are we clear with this? No matter what?" Hermione asked in her bossy tone.

Harry chuckled. "Yes Miss Prefect, no matter what," he said and leaned down to kiss her.

She stood in tiptoe and reached his lips. He wrapped his arms around her waist and deepened the kiss. Her hands went to the back of his neck and she held him tightly.

After a while, they had to pull away reluctantly and Harry sensed someone's eyes on them, he turned and saw his best friend staring at them with light blue, unreadable eyes.

***

A/N: Again, please R&R, I love feedback. Next chapter, a little bit of action, a broken-hearted Harry for the second time, and flaming between the two friends.

*TPO = Time, Place and Occassion

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