Chapter 13- Head Over Feet
Lily's POV
Stunned. Silenced. Mute. No words. Speechless. Lily Evans is at a loss for words for once in her life. I have no idea how I feel, what I want, who I need. Well, that's not true. I disgust myself as I hear the answer roll through my thoughts. His name. His face. His voice. His new girlfriend.
Maimee Hout. My best friend. I just don't get it. How has he moved on so quickly from me? What does she have that I don't?
Well Lily, maybe it's the fact that she actually appreciates him. She doesn't cringe in his presence. She actually likes him.
I don't like him. I despise him. I hate him. Yet, my heart feels differently. Damn my hormones. Damn my common sense. It's there. The passion. Something they will never have. I hate to say it but James Potter was right. He was correct. We have the most magical heat between the two of us. It's indescribable.
What's with this crazy world that I live in? It's making my life twist into places I always thought I hated. I am in love. A first for me. Love. True breathtaking love. True stomach turning love. Butterfly stricken love. I am absolutely crazy for this boy. How has he done it?
Jealousy. That's how he's done it. I have heard of nothing but James Potter from my friend Maimee since that dreadful night at the sleepover. It's been a week. A long, hard week for me. Their public displays of affection have made me jealous. Jealous of what they have. Jealous of who she has.
Even a month ago I could have told you a true opinion of James Potter. I could have. He hasn't even had to try hard to win my heart. I wish I could tell my heart who to love, because James most certainly isn't it. I thought I was the only one immune to his charms. Has he actually won me over?
I couldn't tell him though. Never. He'd have won. I am as stubborn as a mule, I'll admit it. I don't have the pride. I haven't decently looked him in the eye for a week. He knows. I know he knows that this has upset me. My best friend. I doubt he truly cares for her. Maybe he does. His maturity certainly has been noticeable.
Maimee Hout though. My friend has won him over. She's probably prettier than me, smarter than me, funnier than me, nicer than me. No wonder he likes her.
She has long, blonde hair and penetrating navy eyes. Legs that go on forever and a contagious laugh. Just his type. The trophy wife. Then there's me. The short fiery red head who is a complete bitch at times. The biggest emotional roller coaster that this school has seen. There's nothing remarkable about me. Other than I have great friends. Well, he's surely discovered that.
Wonder who's next. Will he move on to Addison? She's beautiful too. Sirius would kill him though. Poor Remus. He has always likes Maimee. I know how he feels now. I didn't think Potter would bother me this much. He's gotten under my skin.
I hate him for it. But inside, I love him. I love him. When did it happen? I don't know? I have felt it since the train ride. The tension. I just thought it was dislike. Maybe it wasn't always hate, maybe it was actual feelings. Have I just always been this blind?
He's hit me like a bludger to the stomach. I feel it and it hurts. I am a lost cause and he's given up on me. Never will we be a couple. I'll always be the girl he'll remember fighting with. In fifty years he and Maimee will have beautiful kids and I'll have to baby-sit them while they go off to parties to showcase themselves.
What a wonderful and fulfilling life I get to live. Why have they done this to me? I trusted her. I don't think I trusted him, but maybe deep down I did. She never could have known I liked him though. It's not Maimee's fault. What have we always said? Our friendship comes first. We'll be sisters forever, a boy can't last that long. I can't penalize her. It would be betraying the one steady thing I have. Loyalty.
I don't know if I can say that anymore. I feel another steady emotion. I feel love. And I really don't like it. Potter was right, always has been. I feel what he has always felt. I wonder if he feels it now?
It's all my fault. All his fault. It could be all Dumbledore's fault and I'd still be upset.
I entered the thick curtain into the Hogwarts room and saw James in the corner, actually studying. At least Maimee's setting an example. Maimee. Damn her.
I stared for a moment, sorrow filled eyes. Then, before I knew it, my feet carried me to my room. I slammed the door. I jumped onto the bed and brought the pillow to my tear-stained face and screamed the same blood-curdling scream I had that first day on the train. Unfortunately, it was for the same person. James bloody Potter.
A/N: please review