Chapter 30-I'll Be
The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful
Stop me and steal my breath
Emeralds from mountains thrust toward the sky
Never revealing their depth
Tell me that we belong together
Dress it up with the trappings of love
I'll be captivated
I'll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above
I'll be your crying shoulder
I'll be love suicide
I'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of your life
The cold, shattering feeling of a loss is the worst feeling in the world. No one knew this better than James Potter. He had just experienced some of the worst moments of his life in the past month. His parents had died, Lily had rejected him, and to top it off, Voldemort was after him.
He knew that fury was not the right way to handle his parents' death. They would be proud of the way he kept his cool and took it like a man. He hoped that the man he was becoming was an acceptable and righteous man. He felt that his immature arrogant ways had come to a closure.
As he sat there with Lily, holding her hands and looking out onto the night's sky, he felt security. Even at the end, he would have her to rely on. She was his comfort. His parents had been Aurors, always off at work, yet they had raised him right. They were good, loving parents and he would miss them. He knew that being an Auror created the risk of dying for your cause; this was one of the reasons he longed to fight for their side. He had always tried to avert himself from steering into the Auror career as he knew the risks it involved. Yet now, as he was reaching closer to his life after Hogwarts, he wanted to make his parents proud in whatever way possible.
She didn't know why he had come to the Astronomy Tower and he was glad she didn't badger him. She left him alone, with his thoughts streaming in at all angles.
Death seemed to take over someone's life and James refused to allow that to happen. He had so much more life to live. If anything, his parents death had made him realize that he had to seize the day. He had to live until his last, dying breath. If he spent all his time mourning and doing nothing to please himself, he would have nothing. Death would just become the next big journey.
James didn't want it to be that way. He loved his friends, his school, his life. Before his moment was gone, he needed to step out and shine. With Voldemort after him, his dying day could be anytime in the near future.
He knew what he needed to do.
He felt the letter's crinkled parchment in his hand and felt her delicate palm in his other. He stared at the letter, commemorating the very thought of living his life to the extreme. Without his parents here to guide him, he needed to grow up and live on his own.
He looked over at Lily and caught her sad, sympathetic eyes. The emeralds were sparkling back at him, losing their once angry quality. They were soft and gentle. She knew how he felt at that very moment and forgot about her resent towards him. She cared and he knew it.
"Lily," he whispered softly, feeling her name flow off his tongue. "There is something I need to tell you."
"What is it?" she asked him, hoping that he would overcome his sadness and grief.
"My parents were killed," he said to her. His eyes were staring straight into hers. She looked down at the parchment in his hand and gasped quietly. He appreciated her concern and felt comfort that she did not take it lightly.
"I'm sorry, James. I didn't know. Are you going to be ok?" she asked him.
"No," he said. "But I can be."
"What do you mean? Is there anything I can do?"
"Yes," James said, his voice at a mere whisper. "You can listen."
"Of course," she said faintly.
"Lily Evans, ever since the day I met you, I knew you were special. I knew that you were someone I wanted to be a part of my life. Some distinct quality about you captured my eye. Every single day I think about you. No matter where I am or who I'm with, the name Lily Evans rolls through my mind. You're inescapable. When I was just eleven years old, I knew. I knew that you were the one," he said.
"How could you possibly know something like that?" she asked him. She wasn't mad, just curious as to his reasoning behind this bold statement.
"How do you know you love your parents? You just do. It's a feeling. My feeling towards you was more intense than I can even express at this moment. I know what that distinct quality is right now. I have finally answered your question. I know why I like you, Lily. I know, and it's frightening as to how truthful it is," James said. He felt her hand grasp his more tightly.
"What is it?" Lily asked, her eyes shining bright.
"You're real," he said.
She didn't know how to respond to that. For a moment in time, Lily Evans was speechless. He was the only person to have made her words get caught in her throat. She felt her heart pacing and pacing in a rapid motion. She felt the butterflies turn in her stomach; and that's when she knew.
"You are the most real person I have ever met. You have never once acted any differently with me than any other person. If I annoyed you, you told me. When we fought, you brought heat. When we have moments like these, you feel. When my parents died, you felt as though your parents had died even though you have never even met my parents. You're as real as they come, Lily," he said.
She felt tears sting her eyes. She didn't know how many tears had stung her cheeks throughout her year at Hogwarts due to him but these fresh, puddles of heart were pouring down. He seemed to cause these tears but this time, she knew why.
"You're real too," she whispered. "When you talked to me about passion awhile ago, I considered the words but they never meant anything. We do have passion. We fight and we laugh and we cry. There is never one singular emotion to describe my relationship with you."
"We may have history that can be used against me on this matter. Last time, it was taken lightly and nothing was ever done about it. This time, I want you to know, I am not giving up on you. I refuse to give up on you," he said.
She waited for the words to come, the words she had also been feeling.
"I love you, Lily," he said. It was not the first time he said it, but it was the first time she could honestly say they impacted her.
"I know, James. I love you too," she said quietly. "I think I always have."
"We've been through so much together that I don't think I trust anyone more than you. I don't know if I'd rather have spent so many dramatic filled years with anyone else," he said.
"I'm sorry," she said.
"For what?" he asked.
"For everything. I have been fighting my feelings for so long. I pushed you away when I needed you most. I should have remembered that you went with me too. I wasn't the only victim," Lily admitted.
She leaned in closer to him, her face inches from his. She looked at the lake and remembered the incident in fifth year after OWL's. She grinned and looked him in the eye.
"I love you," she said. She pressed her lips against his and hoped it would never stop.
.X.
In the Gryffindor Common Room, three individuals sat up, clapping and celebrating in joy.
A forgotten map lay on the table next to them. They had retrieved it due to some persuasion by Sirius to Oleander and a great summoning charm by Addy.
"She did it, she did it. She kissed him," Addison said.
"Your plan worked, Addy," Sirius said.
"What plan?" she asked him.
"You said to let nature take it's course. It did! If we hadn't been told that, none of this would have happened," Sirius said.
"I guess my plan did work," she said, grinning.
"Team Lily/James has officially reached it's goal," Remus said, yawning and grinning at the same time. "I'm going off to bed. Should be a surprising day tomorrow. Hopefully they'll tell the school. Goodnight."
"Night," the two of them called to him.
Sirius studied the map once more. The dots Lily Evans and James Potter were still remaining quite close.
"How long can they go at it?" Sirius asked.
"Oh, I'd imagine quite some time," Addison said.
"How do you feel when all your dreams have come true?" Sirius asked.
"It feels great. I am just so happy for them. How about you?" Addison inquired back.
"I wouldn't know, not all of mine have come true," he said, looking into her crystal like eyes.
"What do you mean?" she asked.
"I want you," he said. He leaned in and brushed his lips across hers, knowing that now, officially Team Lily/James had reached it's mission.
A/N: Send some reviews, please!