Chapter 14-Only One
James' POV
One week. One long week. I haven't seen those beautiful green eyes that haunt me. I saw them today though. She walked in and looked me right in the eye. It hurt. Hurt much more than I thought it would. I have a girlfriend now though. A smart, beautiful, funny girlfriend.
Maimee Hout is adorable. But she will never compare to my Lily. Never. I feel bad for the poor girl. She has so much to live up to. Yet, she never will. Lily Evans will always remain a special place in my heart. She was my first love. She was the only person who could make me so mad, but make me fall so hard in love.
She's gorgeous. She's smart, smart beyond belief. She's the one person who I can say I've always taken seriously. Well, not in her presence. I had to give her up. She'll never see me for what I am. Never James. Not even Prongs. Always Potter.
Maimee is a great person, always has been a great friend. It's just a little odd the way things end up. I always figured I would date Lily in seventh year, not her best friend. I am actually surprised by my own actions. The words sort of slipped out when we were in the library last week.
She's a great girl though. She will be special to me, even if it kills me. I want to make it work. A part of me wants to prove to Lily that I can take a relationship seriously. For a few days I had my mind steer clear of her face, but it slipped back in, as it always does. This time, I won't let her get to me.
I feel heat when I kiss Maimee, but not sparks. Not what I imagine me and Lily would have. No matter what I always find myself comparing the two. Although I know there's no comparison.
Remus and Sirius have seemed distant this week. I've only had Peter and Maimee to hang out with and I miss my best friends. I miss Lily. I miss a part of me I have left behind.
We have to patrol again tonight, as we always do. The Heads are supposed to stick together, but we drift apart. We split up. She can't be around me at all these days. I figured it was because she felt sorry for her best friend. Always has a negative view on me.
But my conclusion has changed. After our first glance at one another in a week, I saw sadness sparkle in the eyes I am so in love with. She seemed genuinely upset with me. Then, if that wasn't enough, I heard her scream. Not out of delight. It was heartbreak.
Well, she is not the only person who's heartbroken here. I am feeling it too. It will never work between us. I have finally come around to thinking like she has, and sure enough, she changes her mind about me. I have the best luck.
I can't leave behind Lily Evans. I can't. I am a fool to think I can. I can secretly desire, but how fair is that to my girlfriend? Not fair at all. She won't have to know though. She doesn't understand me that well. Not like Lily does. She's the only one who can see within the depths of my heart without even searching. She can feel it. I can too.