A/N: This chapter was just a filler chapter. It was a little thing I wrote and I don't know why I wrote it.
Chapter 15-Three's Company
I have been shaved. I have been padded. I have been lotioned. I have been a girl. I have had to pee sitting down. And let me tell you, it has not been fun. I love women, don't let me get you wrong. But, if you're eating bacon in the morning, do you want to see a pig being mutilated in front of you? No, you want to just eat your bacon.
The same goes for women. I love them. I want to date. I don't want to see the blood that comes out once a month. I don't want to see them shaving their legs. Although I bet Addison could do it and still turn me on. That girl could act like a chimp and prance around in a gorilla outfit and still turn me on. Maybe I should suggest it to her.
The point to his is, I want my mummy! I didn't like being a girl. I actually laughed like a lunatic once Addy took the charm off of me. For once, I was happy to be Sirius. To be a guy. Actually, I'm always happy to be me. The ladies love me.
But never will I comment on any girls imperfections. Periods, Hairy legs, nothing. I completely understand if they want that natural look. Gross, but safe.
You know, if I was always a girl, I wouldn't be so polite about it. I would be telling people about it. Say if McGonagall wants homework, a period is a perfectly good excuse according to me.
You know, being a girl has benefits. I got quite an eyeful, as did Moony. That was awesome. Plus, I can torment Addy about seeing her in her knickers. You see, that whole PMS thing was so worth it just for that.
Now, I love James like a brother, but never again will I become a girl for him. Never. He is out of luck. I am Sirius Black and I am happy about it.
You know, those girls have it pretty bad. They have monthly's, they have to worry about their appearance, they have catfights over me. Those poor girls who have to worry about boys affections. I feel so bad for them. I wouldn't like having to impress me either.
You know, James is lucky. He's chased after two total babes. I saw Maimee in her undies and trust me, it was not a disappointment. But then there's little Lilykins, now what has that girl been hiding? I totally understand his whole "infatuation" with her now. I kind of feel it too. But then there's Addy. Whoa, mama.
Sirius, you are so hopeless.
Addy babe, how'd you get in my fantasy? Well, you're always there, but not clothed.
Ew Sirius! You're such a pervert. I just wanted to say that I don't like you envisioning me in my knickers and if you even say one word, I will personally kick you in your balls every day of the year.
Ouch, the cubs can't handle that kind of abuse from Mama Bear.
What?
Not my balls!!
Addison, that is not something you joke about. It hurts!
Who's joking Remus?
Oh, I like em' feisty! Wait a tick-Moony, you're in my fantasy?!?
When I say no talking about me in my knickers, that means Lily and Maimee too!
I still can think about your sister and Arielle and Alice. Not a bad sight at all. But, you're taking all the fun out of life.
Am not!
You so are..
Remus leaves in frustration mumbling something along the lines of, "We really should go on Jerry Springer.."