Chapter 2- He's Infatuated
Memorable Quotes from last chapter
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My friends fail to see Potter in the light that I see him in. They disapprove of my loathing. Sometimes, they even provide encouragement. I then have to tell them to fill out the Divination teacher application as they are crazy enough to replace the old bat who teaches it now!
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I have never heard him lie (after all, he proclaims our bond of eternity every morning over breakfast)
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How could the thought even cross my mind? James Potter? Man of my dreams? More like man of my
nightmares.
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"I think about it over and over again" Nelly w/ Tim McGraw
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I, James Potter, have always had to learn things the hard way. This fact about my unique personality always used to upset my mum. It's not my mum I worry about though. I know she always will have to love me. It's hard to say whether I put myself in these situations. I used to believe in relationships based solely on attraction. That is, until Lily Evans brought depth to this shallow heart.
I am 17 years old and I am completely hopeless as to where my future lies. Normally, the thought of the future wouldn't even enter my mind. I am usually off causing mayhem or charming girls. The scary thought of the last and final year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry seems to bring a certain awareness. Where do I want to end up in life? The thought has haunted me all summer. Since the day I got my letter I have been reliving this constant confusion. I could always go the easy way out and become an Auror or Quidditch player. Yet, those career choices wouldn't satisfy my urge to make a difference. I want to be a respected individual. I want to do something that I will be remembered by. Last year, I wouldn't even consider the thought of my career or what the future brings. That is, until Lily Evans brought sense to this one-track mind.
She doesn't mean to reform me intentionally. Actually, I believe that her wishes would be to keep me the way I am. I think she wouldn't know what to do if I actually fitted her expectations. This new change comes from this deep longing for her. I have been infatuated with Lily since my fourth year at school yet I have come to realize in seventh that I may have a stronger interest than I thought.
My three friends are most likely tired of my desperate behavior. They wish for me to move on. They often remind me that there are better witches in the cauldron. This is a lie. They think I should actually go for a girl who likes me. I don't actually desire that quality in a woman. I find that the only qualities I desire are red hair and emerald eyes. I desire intelligence and poise. I desire Lily Evans.
Only one of my friends seems to accept my choice in women and that friend would be Moony. This summer, he has given me words of advice that I hold on to, to this day. These words helped inspire this miraculous change from boyhood to manhood. He told me on the train ride home at the end of sixth year some admirable sentiments on my compromising relationship with Lily Evans.
"Prongs, you can have a lot of girls at Hogwarts. Normally, that's not a problem. The problem is, that you know you could have all these girls. Lily will never like you until you deflate that overly large head of yours. And no Prongs, it isn't actually big. It's an expression. So far, showing off and bragging has gotten you nowhere. She's interested in more than the Quidditch Star. She's interested in the person inside. I know that you can't makeover your personality for a girl and I hardly expect you to. I just think that if you matured and started acting your age then she may like you for the good guy that you are. There is a reason I am friends with goofballs like you and Sirius. You guys are great guys to have on your side and you're great guys to know. Just show Lily that side of you. Don't care so much about what others think."
The words weren't incredibly impacting at the time, seeing as Sirius was rolling on the floor with laughter. I, however, took these words into account.
She thinks we belong in separate worlds but I know we belong together. It's a feeling I have felt all summer. How is it that you can be apart from one person for so long yet remember every detail, down to the last freckle, about that certain person? Two guesses who that person is for me.
So, as I stepped onto the train with my three best friends, I knew that this year was my last chance, my only chance to show Lily that I am the guy for her. I won't be some superficial Marauder. I will be James Potter.
"So Prongs, aren't you going to go be a prat with the rest of the rule followers in the front of the train?" Sirius teased. Since I have become Head Boy Sirius has harassed me day-in and day-out. I actually thought it was funny that Dumbledore appointed me. Yet, the feeling I have deep down that becoming Head Boy is my chance to show how I can be responsible and mature.
"Yes, I have to go to the Heads Compartment to meet the Head Girl. We have a meeting with the Prefects which was supposed to start six minutes ago," I said. I had wanted to be on time so bad in order to show the Head Girl that she could rely on me.
"So, Dumbledore made you Head Boy?" a voice sneered. I froze in my steps. Not today, Snivellus could not mess with me today.
"Apparently so," I answered, keeping my cool.
"Well, it should be easy to wolf my way out of things," Snape said. I clenched my wand in fury. I could practically feel my knuckles turning white with rage. Snape had found out about Remus being a werewolf last year. He was dangling it in front of us, flaunting it.
"Just go James. You're late enough as it is. Sirius can take care of him," Remus said, pulling me near the Heads Compartment. We had waited for Peter to Apparate as he had been the last to pass the test. He still needed some practice.
I reached the door and I took a deep breath. I opened the door and saw just who I had wanted to see. Lily Evans was supposedly sleeping as I came in.
Slowly she opened her eyes and comprehended what she was seeing. Then, to my surprise, she screamed. Talk about overreacting. I have always admired her fiery temper. I just laughed, I knew she would be mad. But, mad couldn't fulfill the rage she felt towards me.
"Missed me much, Evans?" I asked. She stared open-mouthed at my Head Boy badge.
"Did you nick that from Remus? Give it back to it's rightful owner now, Potter," Lily said, talking slowly.
"No, this is mine," I said, answering politely. "Now, I think we should get our arses in the Prefect compartment seeing as we're already late. Now, do you know the passwords?"
"Yes, McGonagall dropped them off ten minutes ago. You know, around the time you were supposed to be here," she said.
"Sorry, I was helping a friend in need. Plus, they're prefects. I think they can take care of themselves for ten minutes," I answered.
"Whatever, let's just get this over with," she said. We entered the Prefects compartment where I grinned nervously at Remus.
Lily took it upon herself to pass out all the passwords and give out all the instructions.
"Hey Evans, can I do anything?" I asked her.
"Fine, tell them about doing rounds," she said, apparently still disgusted with the fact that she would be working with me all year.
"Okay, Dumbledore mentioned this in the letter. All the Prefects choose two nights a week to do rounds. We'll post a sign-up sheet in the Prefects lounge so after the feast you can pick your nights. Lily and I have to do rounds every night so if you have trouble choosing a night just talk to either of us," I said.
Sometimes I even surprise myself. Of course, Dumbledore hadn't mentioned any of this in a letter. I knew, seeing as Moony had to do this, that Prefects had rounds twice a week.
Lily had expected me to be caught off guard and to embarrass myself. I just smiled sweetly at her.
"Anything to add, Evans?" I asked.
"Um, no. Potter's covered it all," she said, stumbling on her words.
"We'll see you all at the feast later," I said, exiting the carriage. Lily followed closely behind me.
I entered the Heads Compartment and sat down with Lily sitting at my opposite.
"How did you know all that?" Lily asked. I knew she would be curious. Yet, I decided not to brag.
"I just did my homework," I said, shrugging it off.
I just pulled out a book and sat quietly in my seat. I knew she was expecting something different. Lesson one for dear old Lily; expect the unexpected.