Chapter 12: Werewolves and Chocolate
When he got to the Hospital Wing, what surprised James was how everyone was so concerned about him. Sirius and Peter, though they realized that they were being ignored, still trailed after him the whole way there, then whispered things to each other every few minutes. James wanted to tell them to leave, but he didn't really--a vindictive and at the same time justice-seeking voice inside told him that they ought to be here to explain everything to Remus themselves. He didn't get to say anything to them, however, due to the excessive attention that Madame Pomfrey was paying to him.
"Potter, I expect an explanation after I'm through with you," Madame Pomfrey said, examining him closely. "To think, I was foolish enough to imagine that I wouldn't have to lay eyes on you this year…"
"But shouldn't you be looking at…" He pointed at Snape helplessly, searching for some way, any way, to get some breathing room. She didn't reply until she had carefully examined up each of his nostrils.
"Nonsense, he's fine," she said. "And luckily, there's nothing more than scratches here, even if some of them are a bit deep." She waved her wand, and the injuries began to close up. With another flick, he could feel the blood, which had begun crusting over, being washed from his face. He grimaced, but instead of saying anything he turned to look at Snape. He seemed to be halfway conscious, occasionally moaning and his face set in a frown that hadn't been there before. James felt a nervous tremor run down his spine. He knew it wasn't really his fault, but he felt that if he had been paying closer attention to Sirius he might have figured out what he was doing.
"You're all finished," Madame Pomfrey said, smiling grimly. "And have I made it clear to you that I don't want to see you--or any of you, for that matter--" She gave Sirius and Peter pointed looks, "again?"
They nodded, and she left, presumably to go to sleep.
Sirius kept sneaking sidelong glances at James, as though he wanted to say something but was waiting for a time when he looked less upset, or at least more open to listening. James did not think he would be either of these things soon, but he still said,
"What the hell were you two thinking?"
"What do you mean, `you two'?" Peter asked, his voice even more pitchy than usual. "It wasn't my idea, I'll have you know!"
Sirius gave Peter the dirtiest look he could, and James couldn't help thinking that he deserved it.
"Shut it," he growled. "You certainly didn't protest when I told you about it." Peter blushed and ducked his head. Sirius turned back to James and said, almost accusingly,
"Look, Snape kept trying to figure out what Moony was doing. He would've figured it out on his own! Probably already did, it isn't like the oily bastard has anything better to do with his time."
"So you figured, why not point him in the right direction?"
"Exactly!" Sirius said fiercely. "That'll teach him what happens when you stick your slimy honking nose in other people's business!"
"Black, you must be the biggest idiot I've ever met," James said, his voice low and disgusted. "Didn't it ever occur to you that Moony could kill him?"
Sirius hesitated, then said in a slightly whining voice,
"Pete and I weren't far away…we would've…you know we wouldn't have just let him stay, he wasn't in there long…"
"IT WAS LONG ENOUGH!" James roared, making Peter and Sirius jump. "HE COULD HAVE BEEN RIPPED APART, IT WAS LONG ENOUGH TO--" he stopped himself just in time, and then lowered his voice back to a deadly whisper. "It was long enough to turn him into a werewolf. One bite, that's all it took for Moony…" He trailed off, watching as Sirius seemed to positively shrink thinking of the possible outcomes of his behavior. Peter turned away, and James thought that he could hear sniffling. He knew he was right when, a moment later, Sirius elbowed him and said, gruffly,
"Shut it, you fat baby." Peter sniffed once more, and then he was silent.
"And if that's not bad enough, Moony won't remember any of it in the morning."
Sirius looked into James's eyes, stricken.
"Please don't make me--I can't--James, don't make me tell him, how will I--"
James hesitated as he saw the pure agony on Sirius's face. He knew that if it was him, he'd be begging Sirius in the same exact way. But he clenched his jaw and told himself that first, he would never do something like that, and second, he knew what the righteous was, and that wasn't it.
"If you want, I'll tell him," James began, and held up a hand as Sirius started to thank him. "But," he continued, "if you can't tell him yourself, I'll lose any respect that I ever had for you."
If James had just said that any other day in any other situation, Sirius would have laughed and agreed, even going so far as to express surprise that James had any for him at all. But something about the night, about the seriousness in James's face, conveyed to him the magnitude of that loss of respect. He went pale and sat down on one of the empty beds, deep in thought. Peter looked at both of them, then asked, in a quivering voice,
"What about me, then?"
Sirius and James turned to look at him, surprise visibly etched on their features. For all the years they'd known him, Peter had never wanted to claim his responsibility in any wrongdoing, and they had clearly expected him to saunter back to the Gryffindor common room unmentioned and uninvolved. Seeing this and knowing what it meant, Peter said, hesitantly,
"I--I like Remus. And I--I'm sorry."
Then Peter and Sirius turned to James, and he realized, with not a little surprise and dismay, that they had come to regard him as the voice of justice. He cleared his throat.
"Right," he said. "Er--you can tell him too. What you did, I mean. Take turns and the like."
"Right," Peter echoed, nodding. He went to sit down next to Sirius, and they all fell into silence.
Ten minutes later, Snape woke up, screaming.
"Snape, what in heaven's name happened?" Madame Pomfrey cried as she rushed in, wearing a nightdress and clearly grumpy at being disturbed from her attempts at sleep. Realizing that James, Sirius, and Peter were still there, she frowned.
"And what are you boys doing here?" she asked. "You're all fixed, you can--"
"Werewolf!" Snape shouted. "He's a werewolf, they all know, Black tried to get me killed!" He pointed a finger at Sirius as though to prove his point, and Sirius said ashamedly,
"Didn't your mum teach you manners? It's rude to point."
James, meanwhile, checked to make sure no one had heard what Snape had said, and was relieved and slightly unnerved to see the only other patient had managed to banish his own ears.
"I'm sure your mother will love to hear about it when you're expelled, Black," Snape said, baring his yellow teeth in a gruesome smile. Madame Pomfrey looked stricken.
"You know about Lupin's condition, Snape?" she asked gravely. Snape's smile disappeared, and replaced with a frown.
"You mean you knew he was a werewolf?"
"Yes, of course," Madame Pomfrey said distractedly. "I must get Professor Dumbledore at once…" She hurried out, and as soon as she left, Sirius made a rude hand gesture at Snape.
"Bastard," he hissed. "Bringing up my mum…"
If James had been on good terms with Sirius, he might have teased him and reminded him that he had done the same, but he didn't want to speak to him again until Remus came back and had issued his verdict. Snape, meanwhile, was in a state of shock.
"They…knew? And they…" He was looking wide-eyed at his hands, as though they were a problem that he had thought he'd worked out perfectly, but still had the wrong answer to.
Madame Pomfrey came back a few minutes later, Dumbledore fully dressed and looking more serious than James had ever seen him. Madame Pomfrey left once more, leaving Dumbledore on his own.
"Mr. Snape," Dumbledore said, stopping at the foot of Snape's bed and casting the rest of them a quick glance. "I see you've found out about Mr. Lupin's unique circumstance."
"He's a werewolf, Professor," Snape said through gritted teeth.
"Yes," Dumbledore said sadly. "A rather unfortunate occurrence to happen to someone so young."
"So you knew," Snape said, breathing through his nose heavily. "Everyone knew, but he's allowed to stay."
"The staff knows, and we must make allowances accordingly. I can only assume by their taking this with calm that Misters Black, Potter, and Pettigrew know as well. However, they are the only ones who know, and I expect you not to say a word about it to anyone else."
"And Lupin's allowed to stay here?"
"He is allowed to stay here under the same conditions that you are, Mr. Snape. A slight problem once a month will not be used as grounds for expulsion, at least not at this school." Dumbledore smiled thinly at Snape, as though had suddenly become very tired. Snape seemed to be waging an internal battle, and then said, finally,
"What about Black?"
"What about Mr. Black?"
"He's the one who told me how to get to Lupin. I could have been killed because of him! Going around, dropping hints about it, and telling me how to get in without actually making clear the danger he knew I'd be in…"
Dumbledore finally turned completely away from Snape to look at Sirius, who was bowing his head and looking like he wanted to die.
"That is a serious accusation, Mr. Snape," Dumbledore said after a long silence. "Mr. Black, is that true?"
Slowly, without meeting his eyes, Sirius nodded.
"I see. Well, I expect you'll want to go back to your dormitory, Mr. Snape, while I have a word with these young gentlemen." James once again felt guilty, though he knew that he hadn't done anything wrong. He thought that Dumbledore would believe him, but he couldn't be sure.
"That's not all!" Snape said sharply, desperate to say as much as he could before he left. "Pettigrew, he was there when Black told me how to get into the Willow! He didn't say a word, a smirk on his face like the rest of them! And Potter--he--" Snape's face contorted as he tried to think of exactly what to say. "He must have known, even if I didn't actually see him! He's the Head Boy and best friend of these two monkeys; I wouldn't be surprised if he planned it!"
"Oh, my," Dumbledore said, his eyes twinkling a little as he looked at James. "Is that so?"
"Yes!" Snape cried manically. "Finally thought about losing his Head Boy and Quidditch Captain positions and decided he'd make himself a right little hero to add to his status! And he tried to save his own skin after it was almost too late, the coward!"
"Coward!" James cried, leaping up. "That's what you call me, after I save your sorry--"
"That's enough, both of you," Dumbledore said. "Mr. Snape, I think it is high time you return to your dormitory, and remember what I have said--not a word to anyone. As for you three, I will want to have a discussion with you privately." James sank back down, glowering.
"Are you going to expel them?" Snape asked, leaning forward eagerly. Dumbledore gave him a stern look.
"It is not your place or mine to discuss any other student's punishment. However," he added slowly, seeing the looks of dread that Sirius, James, and Peter were exchanging, "I think that I can safely say that there will be no one expelled. At least, not tonight." James felt a wave of relief wash over him, as Snape looked crestfallen. Wordlessly, and with as much dignity as he could muster, he rose from his bed and left the hospital wing, only pausing to give Sirius a filthy look, which Sirius mirrored. After they knew he had gone, Dumbledore took a step forward.
"I was going to invite you to my office, but I don't think we're in danger of being overheard." He smiled serenely at the earless boy, who was muttering in his sleep, then turned back to them.
"I think that I can deduce what happened here tonight," he said. "Is there anything else you would care to tell me?"
"It's not their fault," Sirius said after a long stretch of silence. "It's mine. I told Snape how to get past the Whomping Willow. Peter didn't really do anything, and James--" He paused and gave James a long, meaningful look, "well, I reckon he's a hero. Somehow he figured out what was going on and stopped Snape before Moo--I mean, Remus, could hurt him."
"He wasn't bitten, was he James?" James was surprised to hear Dumbledore address him by his first name; he'd never called him that, in all the time that he'd known him and been to his office. However, he recovered quickly and shook his head, a wry smile on his face.
"From all that, I think he'd have told you himself, don't you Professor?"
For a second, James could have sworn he saw a smile tugging at the corners of Dumbledore's mouth.
"Be that as it may," he said, "Mr. Black, you could have seriously endangered a student's life. For that, I must take fifty points from Gryffindor and suspend all of your Hogsmeade visits for the rest of the year, as well as detention in the hospital wing for the next two weeks." Sirius looked slightly stricken, but he didn't protest, only saying, hesitantly, "I suppose you'll be taking Quidditch from me too, Sir?"
Dumbledore seemed to consider this for a moment.
"No, I think not, Mr. Black. Not only will Professor McGonagall have my head if I do, but I think that telling Mr. Lupin of what has happened will be punishment enough." Smiling, he turned to leave, then turned back to them.
"Oh yes, I almost forgot. Mr. Potter, while I have not been informed of all the details of how you knew Mr. Snape would be there, I am nonetheless overjoyed to know that you very clearly saved his life, both in the literal sense and from the bleak future that comes of having Mr. Lupin's condition. I therefore congratulate you and reward Gryffindor forty points. It would be more," he said, smiling wider, "but I think that Mr. Black might very well faint if we replaced all the points he lost." Indeed, Sirius was grinning from ear to ear, and had been since being told he could stay on the Quidditch team.
"Th-thank you, Professor," Sirius stuttered. Dumbledore nodded, then swept out of the room.
"He's a good man," Sirius said weakly. "I've always said, I love Dumbledore."
"You know it's better than you deserve," James said, not wanting Sirius to think that what he'd done was less important than it was. Sirius nodded.
"I know. God, I deserve to be expelled," Sirius said. "But I still--I really hope that Remus forgives me, you know?"
"I'm sure he will, Sirius," Peter said bracingly. Sirius looked at James, and James said, slowly,
"I don't know. It's really up to him, isn't it?"
***
When Remus was brought in the next morning, his pale face was looking more scratched and bruised than usual. James was already awake, and he shook Sirius and Peter from their naps. At the sight of Remus, Sirius turned pale, and he began to wring his hands.
"Oh, God," he whispered. "Oh, God, what do I do?"
"Go wait until he wakes up," James whispered back. "Peter, you too." He watched as they got up, looking as though someone had died, and he felt pity, though he didn't want to. Perhaps being sleepy had made him feel a little more lenient, but whatever caused him to feel that, way, he found himself standing up.
"I'll come too," he said. Sirius gave him a sickly smile. When they reached Remus's bedside, they could see he was already partly awake. When he saw them, he frowned slightly.
"I thought that I saw you there," Remus said weakly. "What are you doing here?"
James nudged them, and Sirius and Peter both took a step forward.
"Well--er--Remus," Sirius began. "You--well, that is to say, I--"
Remus's face went pale.
"Did I hurt someone last night?" he interrupted, sitting up with extreme effort and looking at each of their faces. "Did I hurt you?"
"No!" Sirius said hurriedly, "No, it isn't like that, it's me, you haven't done a thing."
"Oh," Remus said, slumping back against the pillows and letting his eyes slip shut, "well, what is it? I hurt all over, and if it's not important, I really am very tired…"
"It's Snape. He knows." Peter said this, and he said it very quickly, as though hearing it and actually understanding what it meant would hurt him.
Remus opened his eyes very slowly.
"What?"
"He knows," Sirius said. "It's because--well, I told him how to get into the Whomping Willow, and he did the rest, and I think he knew anyway, but God, Moony, I'm so sorry, please don't--well, okay, you can yell at me, but please don't hate me. But if you did I'd understand and…I'm sorry, I really am…" He turned away, and James could see that he, like Peter had earlier, was wiping away tears.
"Sirius…are you crying?" Remus asked.
"No," Sirius said guiltily, wiping his eyes quickly and turning back to face him.
Remus looked at him knowingly.
"I see." James could tell he was biting his tongue, and for a moment, he looked out the window. Then he looked back at the three of them and smiled bitterly.
"I suppose you won't like to hear it, but I'm not really surprised. I expect I've been thinking something like this would happen for a long time."
Sirius and James exchanged looks, and James said, slowly,
"What're you saying, mate? You never really trusted us?"
"No!" Remus shouted loudly, then reddened. "It wasn't anything like that," he said quietly. "It was just--" He paused and took a breath, which reminded them of how tired he was, "when I got bitten, I never really expected to have friends after that. So, after I met you three, I figured it was just a matter of time until you found out, and then I'd sort of…go back to the way I was. And you did find out, but you didn't leave, you became…you know," he said, and James could tell he was worried somebody might over hear him, not knowing that the only patient was earless. "And--"
"Any other decent person would have done it, Remus," James said, speaking for the first time. "A person who doesn't like you for having a little problem like that is a first class arsehole."
Remus shook his head wisely.
"You're saying that because you don't know better," he said. "But I knew, and still know, that things don't work that way, and there had to be somebody else who found out and wouldn't like me because of it." He took another deep breath and smiled. "But it's Severus Snape, and I don't think he thought much of me to begin with."
"So, you're not upset?" Sirius asked incredulously. "It's my fault he knows, and you're still not mad?"
"Oh, I'm still rather annoyed, and I might feel like shouting tomorrow," said Remus, who James knew never shouted, "but I'm really much too tired to do anything about it right now, and like you said, he already knew, right? So in a day or two I should be fine."
Sirius and Peter both stared at him, slack jawed.
"But--but--"
"If you bring chocolate and keep showing me how sorry you are," Remus yawned, "then all will be well, I promise."
"Well…if you want…"
"I do. No go awa-aa-aay," he said, yawning. "I want to sleep, for God's sakes." He rolled over and went to sleep, and giving each other silent looks of awe, they crept silently out of the hospital wing.
"Well…that was unusual," Peter said, breaking their confused silence.
"It's like we always said, he's a bit of a girl," Sirius said thickly, "but bloody hell, how did that happen?"
James, and Peter he knew as well, truly didn't have an answer.
"Maybe…" Sirius said slowly, "maybe he'll be really upset tomorrow, and then he'll say how much he hates me and wants me to die. God, for a while I wanted to die." He sighed, then turned to James with an unspoken question, and when James patted him reassuringly on the back, Sirius got his answer, and he grinned.
"Don't go crying again," James said sternly, and Sirius kicked him.
"It's that damn Peter's fault, being around him so much makes me weepy. Not that I actually did cry, but…you know."
Peter blushed furiously, but all in all, they were in higher spirits than any of them would have imagined a few hours earlier. While James and Peter went back to their dormitory, Sirius took the passage behind the mirror to Hogsmeade and, according to his and Remus's account later that day, bought out every chocolate frog that Honeydukes had.
Authors Note: I want to apologize quickly; for I'm afraid I told a lie in response to the reviews to chapter 9-that was not the only chapter Lily wasn't in. As you've probably noticed, she isn't here, and I'm very sorry! She's in the next one, I promise.
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