Chapter 26: A Second Yellow Dress and a Battle
The next afternoon, as James was pulling on his dress robes, there was a knock on his bedroom door. He glanced up and, seeing that the door was already being opened, he assumed it was Sirius. A second later he was proved right; Sirius stormed in, already dressed and looking effortlessly charming. He was also angry, but James chose not to notice.
"Haven't seen you since yesterday," James remarked. "You've been snogging one of mum's maids again?"
"You," Sirius said, pointing his finger at him, "I-sit down." He said it in an imperious way, and James was reminded, as he occasionally was, that his best friend had been raised to be the next leader of the Black family. He was also reminded why he'd hated Sirius before they'd started going to Hogwarts. The way he was staring down his nose at James made James want to hit him.
"Where d'you get off, telling me to sit down?"
"For the love of Merlin, I just told you to sit. I didn't tell you to bloody sacrifice your firstborn son."
"It's the way you-you were-shut up." James sat down on his bed, tugging on his dress robes so that they'd feel more comfortable. He knew that Sirius would never believe that he had acted like a Black. Once James had sat down, Sirius transfigured a trunk at the foot of James's bed into a chair and sat in it.
"I hope you plan on putting that right when you're done with it," James said. "All of my Quidditch things are in there."
"Look," Sirius said, ignoring James's comment, "I want you to explain your relationship with Lily. Everything."
"What?" James began to laugh. It was the last thing he would have expected Sirius to say.
"No, I'm serious-I mean-damn. Not a word, Potter."
James had grinned widely, but he didn't say a thing. The joke had gotten old in their first year, but it was still funny how Sirius managed to forget that the word was taboo after all of these years.
"Either say `I'm not kidding' or call yourself Harry or something. Because I swear to God, you've got the stupidest name in the world."
"Can't help that it's a fucking family name," Sirius muttered. He shook his head, and then, realizing he'd been sidetracked, he glared at James.
"You've got to tell me."
"Wha-oh. Why d'you care?"
"Oh, I don't know. Perhaps it's because you say you're in love with her. After a bleeding month."
"Oh, you're still on about this, are you?" James stood up and walked to the door.
"It's not normal. I'm just-look, you're awfully naïve."
"What?" James turned around, feeling more than a little annoyed. "Naïve?"
"If you think you're in love with the twit after a month, then yeah, I'd have to say you're a bit naïve."
"First," James said, breathing heavily through his nostrils, "Lily is not a twit. You're a twat. Second, don't ever call me naïve again if you don't want me to beat your face in." James meant it. Naïve was a word you used for the thirteen year olds who went to church on Sundays and still didn't know the difference between a boy and a girl.
"I suppose you'll beat my face in the Muggle way? Oh, your girlfriend would go into raptures if she knew."
James felt his jaw drop. He couldn't believe that this was his best friend talking.
"You bastard. I'll talk to you when you stop being a Black," he said, trying not to let his anger get the best of him. He closed his eyes and breathed. In a moment he had to go fetch Lily, and he didn't fancy the idea of gaining or giving a black eye beforehand. Sirius opened his mouth, looking suddenly embarrassed, but James quickly left. He'd give Sirius more time to feel guilty, because at the moment he deserved it.
He dissaparated to the flat, and when he knocked on the door, Lily answered at once. She looked frustrated almost to the point of tears, and she buried her face in his chest.
"Thank God for you," she sighed, stepping aside after a moment to let him in. "I was about to go mad, I've been alone all day and I'm not ready for your mum's party at all."
Indeed, she was still dressed in muggle clothes and her hair was in a simple ponytail. James leaned down and gave her a kiss after she'd closed the door.
"It's alright," he said. "It's not like I want us to be the first ones there anyway."
"Your mum will worry."
"Screw my mum."
Lily looked James over appraisingly.
"You look handsome," she murmured.
"You look beautiful."
She turned red as she said it, and James found it funny that such a small compliment seemed to elicit such a reaction from her. At the same time, though, he knew he was blushing.
"Well, come here," she said, tugging him into a bedroom hurriedly, "I need your help desperately."
James looked around and saw that, judging from the clothes on the floor, it was the bedroom Lily had been staying in. He was surprised to see that it was messy; for some reason, he had expected it to be neater. After a moment he saw that she had brought him to see a yellow dress that was lying on the unmade bed. It was not the same yellow dress that she had charmed to blind him during the summer; it was a bit dressier, and it had silk sleeves that would go midway down the arm.
"That's nice," he said, "where'd you get it?"
"It was Petty's and I got it from her. Mum-" she hesitated for a moment, then continued, "Mum had her give it to me last year when she got too tall for it. She dyed it yellow because she knew that it's my favorite color. It was pink before." She grinned, no tears apparent in her eyes, and James was relieved.
"What's wrong with it?"
Lily stared at him, as though shocked he hadn't spotted it at once.
"James, it's a dress. A Muggle dress."
"So? You're a muggleborn." In spite of what he said, James knew what she meant. While dress robes and dresses were similar, there was still a marked difference between the dress before them and conventional dress robes.
"I can't go in a Muggle dress," she whispered. "It sounds completely superficial, but I simply can't."
"Why? You'll look great."
"It's not-why, thank you-but it's not a matter of how pretty I look. It's…James, we're doing something really big tonight. I asked Marlene, so don't try to tell me it isn't. She told me engagements in the Wizarding world are basically contracts. We're going to-I mean, not to sound melodramatic, but what we're doing goes against everything in the marriage laws of wizards."
James knew that everything Lily was saying was true, but he didn't see as much of the gravity to it as Lily did. He knew that he loved her and that he did not want to marry Adele. As far as he was concerned, that was all that really mattered, not some silly law.
"What're you saying?" James asked, frowning. "Are you-you don't want to? You want me to go through with the engagement?"
Lily gave James a gentle slap on the arm.
"How can you even say that?" she asked. "What I'm saying is that they-all of the people at the party-they're all going to look at Adele and me and compare us. I'd prefer them to have as little bad things to say about your choice of girl as possible. I'd hate for her to seem like a better choice because I'm so obviously muggleborn."
James remembered something Lily had said a long time ago.
"But," he said hesitantly, "you're proud of being muggleborn."
Lily smiled.
"Of course I am. But I'm not going to let my pride stand in the way of being with you. Besides, I'm not renouncing being muggleborn."
Seeing that James was still unsure, she ran into another room and came back toting a spellbook.
"Look," she said, opening it to one page, "there's a spell right here that I think can do it. But I'm rotten at transfiguration. Please?" She gave him a pleading look, and James sighed.
"Alright."
Lily laughed in delight, and she began to jump up and down.
"It'll be lovely, darling. Thank you so, so much."
James looked over the page. He could see where Lily would have such a hard time with it; it required a rather difficult hand motion.
"Mutatio Ornatus," James said, pulling out his wand and waving it experimentally. Nothing happened.
"Damn thing," James muttered. "Mutatio Ornatus."
The dress remained the same. Lily bit her lip.
"Well," she began, "I suppose it wouldn't be the worst thing if I went wearing-"
"It's fine," James said, annoyed, "just hold on a second." He studied the picture of how the person was doing it. If he was not mistaken…
His eyes widened in horror. It wasn't just the wrist that had to move; it was the whole body. He squinted down at the page. Indeed, the woman in the picture had her hips pointing out at an awkward angle, and her feet were positioned funnily as well. He checked the front of the book and groaned. It was pretty new, which made it a fair bet that the awkward positioning was not because it was an old book and that was how they posed for pictures then. He glanced at Lily. She was gazing at him hopefully, and James knew he wouldn't-couldn't let her down.
"Whatever you do," James muttered, "don't laugh."
"Why would I laugh?"
"Just-just don't."
Lily nodded, and reluctantly, James tried to imitate the way the woman in the book was standing. He could feel his cheeks heating up as he stuck out his hips in an effeminate way and pointed his toes as though he was about to curtsy. His brow furrowing in concentration, he said the spell once more.
"Mutatio Ornatus!"
At once, the dress began to change, growing long sleeves and lengthening the hem line. James wasn't sure exactly what the spell had done besides that, but they were now clearly dress robes. He ran a hand through his hair, not understanding the mysteries of fashion. He was distracted by hearing an outburst that he quickly realized was Lily laughing.
"What?" he asked, straightening up. But he already knew what it was, and he felt his face go even redder.
"What was that?" she asked gleefully. "James, that was the best thing I've ever seen! I have never ever seen a boy so comfortable with himself that he could…and you!" She dissolved into a fit of giggles, and James frowned.
"Hey," he said, "I didn't have to help you. I can turn it right back if you-"
Lily silenced him with a kiss.
"You're absolutely lovely," she murmured. "How did I get so lucky?" She squeezed his hand, and James felt himself calming down.
"That's not fair. You're using sex appeal to make me feel better. Isn't there some psychological or moral code that says that you can't do that?"
Lily rolled her eyes.
"What sex appeal?" she asked. "I haven't got any. Now get out so I can get dressed." She winked at him, then pushed him out of her room, shutting the door quickly behind him.
James shook his head. Even if he was a bastard sometimes, Sirius had a point when he said that women worked in strange ways.
***
It was an hour later and they were at the ball. Lily had managed to get dressed in record time; she was now wearing the transfigured yellow robes and she had done something mysterious with her hair that had made it gather at the back of her head in a sleek, simple fashion. Already they were getting dirty looks from his mother, and they were making sure to stay as far away from her as possible.
Out of nowhere, Sirius appeared.
"Look," he said, cornering James, "I'm sorry, alright? Really, I mean it."
It took a moment for him to remember what he was talking about, but when he did he felt a little annoyed. Lily, hearing what Sirius said, pretended to have gone temporarily deaf. She began humming softly to herself and watching a man who had had too much to drink make an absolute fool of himself as he asked one lady after another to dance. James nodded at Sirius grimly.
"It's not me you should be apologizing to," he said quietly.
"D'you really want me to repeat what I said so I can apologize for something that only you know I said in the first place?"
James had to think about it for a moment. Sirius did have a point; what good would it do to have him tell Lily what he'd said and hurt her feelings unnecessarily? James sighed.
"Just stop being a bastard, alright? Really. You've got to believe it's the right thing I'm doing."
"I don't know whether I can trust you, seeing as you're following my advice," Sirius said. But he was grinning, and James couldn't help doing so too.
"Hey," Sirius said after a moment, "I really do feel bad about what I said. If the whole snogging thing doesn't work-"
"It ought to," James said, "or I'll murder you."
"Right. Well, if it doesn't, I've got another idea. So if it looks like Ms. Potter's ready to blow Lily's head off-"
"My head getting blown off is not an option," Lily said, coming into the conversation for the first time. She was eyeing Sirius suspiciously, as though she knew that whatever he'd done had been an offense against her, and she was wary of whatever other ideas he had.
"You're just like your boyfriend, you both interrupt me," Sirius said impatiently. "What I'm saying is that I have another plan. And it'll work."
"So why don't you just do that instead of risking Lily's head?" James asked.
"Because-it-well, it's a personal sacrifice for me, and I'd like to avoid it if at all possible, because it involves getting female hearts broken and all that…"
"You're going to do something with Adele, aren't you?" Lily asked. James turned to look at her, and he saw that she was gazing intently at Sirius, conveying another message that James could not interpret.
"Evans, you'll just have to wait and see."
"He's right to save it for last, James," Lily said, turning from Sirius to him. "Oh, no, you're mum's about to say something. Come on. I see some mistletoe."
James looked back and forth between Lily and Sirius, then went after Lily, who was tugging him along.
"What was that?" he asked.
"He's got a girlfriend," she said, "and if he snogs Adele he'll ruin everything."
"Wait, what?" James asked confusedly. "What girlfriend? Snogging Adele? How do you-"
"James, I swear to you I will explain everything later," she said. "But right now your mum looks like she's about to say something, and I really can't-we mustn't-" She was so helplessly flustered that James could not help but give in and kiss her. In the very back of his mind, he knew that he could hear his mother speaking, and he knew that things had gone very quiet, but what he knew was that, right now, Lily was right there and she smelled intoxicatingly wonderful. He didn't know what it was, but it was something warm and sweet and it suited her perfectly.
"Mmm," he said against her lips, "what're you-" He stopped talking when he realized that his words were unintelligible and that he was simply making a mess of their kiss. Lily pulled away from him slightly, looking a bit dazed.
"Hmm?"
"What is that? You smell really good." Lily smiled.
"It's called perfume, Love," she said gently. She went to kiss him again, but then he paused. Seeing how he hesitated, Lily stopped too.
"What is it?"
"I-well, I-" James didn't know how to put what he was feeling into words. All he knew was that, in spite of how right their kissing felt, he had suddenly become very aware of how quiet it was and what they were doing. Slowly, he glanced at the people nearest them, and saw the looks of disapproval they were shooting in their direction. He felt his heart sink. He wasn't ashamed to be with Lily, that wasn't it…he couldn't think what it was, but he could feel it…
"James, what is it?" Lily asked softly. She took his hand and pressed it in her own. It was as though this familiar action, which she'd done dozens of times before, was able to coax a few words from his mouth.
"We're-we're putting on a show." They didn't seem like the right words, not the ones he was searching for exactly, but they were as close as he could get. Lily frowned.
"What do you mean?"
James's hesitance jolted people back to life. At once everyone around them began to talk, and the roaring in his ears somehow made it easier to speak than before, when his ears were filled with buzzing silence.
"We're parading ourselves around in front of these people and we're snogging in front of them like it's the easiest thing in the world. But it's not for us, it's not-it isn't-damn it, we're the couple that Sirius said was never going to have kids because we'd be virgins forever. And here we are, and we're…and we're…" He buried his face in Lily's hair, and she began to rub his back.
"You're mum's coming," she said, staring past him, "and I want you to be very nice to her. And there are a thousand things I have to say to you later, but I'm only going to say them to you, alright? Don't think I don't know what you're talking about, Love."
"I know," James said. Taking a deep breath, he pulled away from her just as his mother appeared before them. Ms. Potter opened her mouth to speak, but before she could, James blurted out,
"Mum, it's me you want to talk to, not Lily."
"Is that who you are?" Ms. Potter asked, looking down at her. "I wouldn't know. We've never met."
"Mum, don't. Come on."
"I think I'd rather speak to both of you. Don't argue with me James," she added, seeing how James was about to protest. "I think that the least that both of you owe me is an explanation." James looked at Lily, and he saw that her face was hardened with resolve. He tried to take her hand, but she shook her head at him. James sighed, and they both followed his mother to one of her numerous parlors.
He felt like a warrior about to go into battle.
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