Chapter 4: A Yellow Dress and Cooking Lessons
"So how will we do it, Prongs?"
"What?"
"Get Evans."
James groaned. For the past week, Sirius had been able to do nothing other than talk about how he was going to get at Lily for, as he put it, "being a disgrace to the Gryffindor name." James was beginning to suspect that it was just because he was bored. That was the usual reason, after all.
"Why? Just drop it Pads. She didn't do anything."
Sirius, who had been leaning over a mysterious looking bit of paper, looked up at him very slowly.
"Do mine ears deceive me?" he asked, an expression of disbelief on his face, "Or did a Moonyism come out of your mouth?"
"A--a what?"
"Damn it, James, you're turning into Lupin. You never cared who you pranked before. Come on! If you're afraid of damaging your precious Head Boy position, I swear I'll pin all the blame on myself."
James leaned over Sirius's shoulder. On the piece of paper, he saw several pranking plots, including slime balloons, colored hair, and incriminating signs on the victim's backs.
"Horrid." James commented, shaking his head. "Absolutely bloody horrible. These are the oldest, most unimaginative things I've ever seen. I wouldn't touch these with a squealing Slytherin first year."
"Oughtn't be touching a Slytherin at all, they've got more germs than you can imagine." Sirius muttered to himself. To James he said, "Well, I'm hopeless James. You know that. Help Me."
"Don't think I don't know what you're doing, because I do." James said, scowling. "You're so predictable."
Sirius simply pouted and gave James a wide eyed stare. James grimaced.
"Something wrong with your face?" he asked.
"Come off it, James." he said, imitating James's scowl, "You aren't as big as you think you are. I won't hurt her. I know you're bloody in love with her, and I've got some really good plans, I really have."
"I doubt it." James muttered. However, he sat down and looked at what Sirius's real plans were, enthusiasm starting to grow and forgetting, for the time, both his duties and who they were specifically plotting against.
***
With Sirius's religious plotting on her behalf, James was surprised at how easy it was to get him out of the way when Lily came. James had conveniently lost some much needed joke supplies, and Sirius had dissapparated over to Diagon Alley that afternoon to get some. Though it was only a week until they were to go again, Sirius had done exactly what James had expected him to.
"A week without our supplies?" he'd cried in horror, "We'll be like troops without weapons! Criminals without lawyers! The queen without her knickers!"
James had been so disturbed by this last analogy that he'd willingly allowed Sirius to eat the rest of his lunch. This, he had felt, was intentional, and considered the sabotage to his appetite highly offensive.
Lily came at a quarter to two, and James blinked in disbelief at the bright yellow sundress she was wearing. It hurt his eyes to look at it, and he instantly started blinking back tears from its brightness, which reflected the unusually sunny day. She laughed when she saw his face.
"What?" she asked.
"Nothing, nothing." James said quickly, avoiding looking at the dress. She watched him for a minute, then set the bike down on the porch.
"You hate it, don't you?" she sighed.
"Hate….what?"
"My hair. It's horribly done."
Her hair, which he'd barely noticed due to the yellow abomination she was wearing, was done up in daisy clips and pinned with a larger clip in the back.
"It's fine." he said weakly.
"Well there's something amiss." she said, watching him again. "Honestly, tell me."
"No--it's not--"
"Tell me, Potter!"
"What the hell are you wearing?" he exploded finally, "It makes you look like-damn it, I don't know, but it's going to burn someone's eyes out! What were you thinking when you wore that?"
She burst out laughing.
"Thank you!" she said brightly, whipping out her wand. She pointed it at herself, said a spell under her breath, and instantly her dress became much darker with a more golden hue.
"Don't thank me, thank God." James said, wiping tears that had begun dripping down his face. "Merlin, what the hell was that?"
"It was a test." she said.
"A--a test?"
"Yes, a test. You see, when I last came, I got the impression that you hold things inside a lot. I just wanted to know if you were like that for all things, like opinions. That can be quite dangerous, you know."
James stared for a long minute at her. Then he asked, slowly, in case she was truly off her rocker,
"How did you survive six years around Snape?"
"He doesn't have the same problems you do, so I don't have to act like that for him. If he abhors something, or feels the urge to comment on something, he does exactly what he likes. Besides, I've learned from past experience that muted tones are best with him."
"Past experience, huh?"
"Yes. Shall we go inside?"
"No." James said quickly. He knew for a fact that his mother was entertaining guests in the parlor, and he could only imagine what she'd say. `This is James's friend. Not his girlfriend of course. She's muggleborn, aren't you dear? It's quite alright, we know you can't help your lineage…' He almost shivered at the thought.
"Well then…" she seemed to be thinking, then smiled, and hit her head in realization.
"Of course, I should invite you to where I'm staying." she said, smiling. "If you'd like, you can meet my mum, she's off work. Petty might be, too."
"Your mum? Petty?" James asked, his voice going up by at least an octave or two. Something Sirius had once said ran through his brain: `Never, ever visit a girl's mum unless you're either marrying her or you've gotten her pregnant.' James hadn't bothered to ask how Sirius had known this, as he generally accepted everything he said about girls to be true.
"Petty's name is actually Petunia." she added, "And she's my sister. Don't worry about meeting them. They're nice, I promise."
"They won't think that you and I are--that we're--"
"Dating?" Lily finished, "Oh, no. They always tell me to bring Severus around, and they know I'm not dating him." she laughed a little. "That would be sort of funny, though. Me, bringing a boyfriend home."
"Why?"
"It's an idiotic ritual. Something completely invented by some form of media in order to create hostility and fear between boyfriends and possible in-laws."
"I see."
"I suppose we could dissaparate." she continued, "I could just hold on really tight to the bike and…listen, get in your mind a picture of an off-white house with blue curtains and a silver car. I'll hold your hand, and I think it should be enough to--what is it?"
James had taken an involuntary step back while she'd been talking.
"What is it? Is it the--oh. It's the hand holding." she strode up to him, very close, and gazed right up at him. She searched his eyes and then looked away, clicking her tongue disapprovingly.
"Obviously you have more problems than I first thought. I'll let you in on a secret, James. One that most men never hear in their lives." She took his hands in hers. "The secret is: you don't always have to be stereotypically male. Holding hands and hugging are normal. Crying is not bad. And pink is ok. Pink is not a girl color. It is a fusion of red and white that is very becoming to dark features, and would in fact go very nicely with your dark hair and tanned skin."
James looked down at her hands, trapping his, and felt just as uncomfortable as before he had learned of this "secret". Apparently, Lily could tell, because she looked extremely disappointed.
"Just hold my hand and trust me." she said. She kept hold of one of his hands, and with her free hand she withdrew her wand from a large pocket in her dress. She tucked the bike close to her with her elbow, closed her eyes, and with a jolt, James found himself whipping past land at an abnormal speed. Before he even had a moment, he was in the exact same position as he had been before, except he was now in front of the white house Lily had described. He looked all around, and realized that they were in a town not too far from his house. In fact, he could just see the dark spot of his slate roof downhill.
"Why do you take a bike?" he asked, following Lily as she wheeled said bike to the side of the house, "I mean, obviously you can dissaparate."
"I like it." she replied, putting the kickstand down and sticking her wand in her pocket. "It reminds me of before I found out I was a witch."
"I can't imagine not knowing I was a wizard." James said, realizing he'd never thought of it before. It frightened him a little, just the thought of not having magic.
"It was simpler then." she said. "It's a bit hard to remember…certainly less conveniences, but you didn't have to worry about dark wizards. They were a matter of imagination." She seemed to be far away, her eyes misted over and her gaze unfocused. Then she shook her head and smiled at him.
"Imagine my disappointment when I realized all my primary school lessons were for naught." Seeing his blank look, she added, "It's muggle school."
"When do muggles go to school?"
"As soon as their parents get tired of them."
"I suppose my parents would have sent me straight off. Well, never mind. My mum would still have me at home."
Lily laughed, then pulled some keys out of her pocket. She unlocked the door to the house, then paused, glancing at James.
"That's another thing that's different when you know about the wizarding world." she said, "You realize that locks are worthless."
He said nothing and tracked in after her.
"Lily? Is that you?" A red haired woman came out, her hair askew and wearing jeans and a work shirt, covered with a giant red apron. "Your father's going to be home early, so we really need to get a start on supper--" She stopped, spotting James. "Hello." she said, smiling. "How are you?"
"Mum, this is James." Lily said, gesturing towards James. "James, this is my mum."
"Nice to meet you." James said, feeling slightly self conscious. Lily's mother walked up to him and shook his hand firmly.
"He lives in the giant house down at the bottom of the hill." Lily added. Her mother's face brightened with recognition.
"I know where you're talking about." her mother said, her grin widening and resembling Lily's greatly. "Well, it's nice to meet you, as I said. I'm Anna, by the way. We just moved here, I'm sure you wondered why you'd never seen Lily around before."
James turned red and stared at his feet. He hadn't really thought of it, and wondered if Lily's mother had any idea that he hadn't even known her daughter's name a few weeks before.
If Lily was thinking along the same lines, she didn't show it.
"I'd like to introduce you to Petty." she said, glancing around, "Mum, where is she?"
"She's with some new boyfriend or other." Anna replied, rolling her eyes. Lily mirrored her look.
"Well, I suppose we really do have to start on dinner, then." She turned to James, "Petty's the best cook, we're hopeless without her."
"Speak for yourself, dear." Anna said, glancing back at the kitchen, as though she'd left something in the oven that she was afraid would burn. "I need to go. Lily, come up soon. James, feel free to join us." She dashed back into the kitchen, not waiting for a reply. Lily looked at James expectantly.
"Can you cook?" she asked bluntly.
"I've never….I mean, I don't know whether…."
"You mean you've never even tried?" she asked, her eyes widening. She gripped his wrist and pulled him behind her. "You can't be serious, I don't care if you've a house elf who does it for you, you must learn."
"Er--alright."
She soon set him to work, chopping onions. He never imagined that he would be taking orders from a girl, least of all cooking, and he was surprised to find how easily she bossed him around. He was obedient to her, however, and he was just starting to realize that cooking was not unlike Potions class when his eyes began to tear up.
"What--what's happening?" he gasped, stepping away from the chopping board he'd been standing at. He wiped the tears from his eyes and cried out even more.
Lily's laughter shocked him.
"What the hell is going on, Evans?" he cried angrily, "Make it stop!"
"Calm down, James." she said, pulling his hands from his eyes, "It's the onion. It makes your eyes water. Now--no, stop, stop, you're making it worse." James found it hard to be convinced of her sincerity, especially because she giggled between every other word. He hoped for some help from her mother, but Anna continued cooking, hiding a smile and shaking her head.
"I've cried more in a day with you than I have in years." he grumbled. Lily nodded sagely, bringing a wet cloth she had gotten to his eyes. He sighed in relief.
"That was the point, didn't you know?" she said jokingly, "Look how open you're becoming!"
"To hell with that." he said, eyes still smarting.
"Watch it." Anna said, pointing a large and extremely menacing knife at him. "I like to keep my kitchen clean, and I won't have you dirtying it with your mouth."
"Sorry." he mumbled. Meekly, he cut the other vegetables that Lily assigned for him. Before too long had passed, they had a full meal prepared. Chicken, salad, and a bowl of pudding were neatly arranged on the table. Lily patted James on the shoulder and sighed contentedly.
"Wasn't that fun?" she asked sweetly.
"Wasn't bad." he said. In reality, he had enjoyed it more than he cared to admit. Though he knew a meal of better quality could easily be made with the flick of a wand, he enjoyed the feeling of making something with his own hands.
"Did you want to stay for dinner too, James?" Anna asked, "Petunia and my husband will be home soon, and I'm sure they'd love to meet you."
James was about to agree when he saw the clock on the wall. It said a quarter to six. Sirius would have arrived home already, and would be looking for him. "Shi….oot." he said, seeing Lily's mother's pointed look. "I can't. I have to do something at home."
It was a weak excuse, but it worked. Lily showed him to the door, then leaned against the doorframe.
"Thank you for your help." she said, "Really. I know Severus never would have…"
"I'm not Snape." he said firmly.
"It doesn't make you better." she reprimanded.
"Hm." he said, knowing full well his feeling of superiority showed in his voice.
"Accio cigarettes." she said calmly. Instantly, the packet flew into her hand. James reached for the now empty pocket automatically, then looked up at her. She pulled one out and inspected it interestedly. He flushed, feeling as though she was trying to prove that he indeed was just as much in the wrong.
"Don't." James said strongly. He took it from her hand and jammed it into the box, the cigarette bending under his grip.
"I wasn't going to." Lily replied. "But it still eludes me as to why you would."
"Why do you make such a big deal out of them?" he asked impatiently. He took the box from her hand and stuffed it from her pocket. "How can you survive in this country when everybody uses them? And more?"
She ignored his question.
"You should stay for supper someday." she said. "School will be starting, so perhaps Christmas holiday?"
"Maybe." he growled. "I have to go."
"Ok." she said faintly. He pulled his wand out of his pocket and disapparated. Just before he disappeared, he thought Lily might have called out to him, but he told himself it was just his imagination.
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