Chapter 27: Humanity and the Girl on a Yellow Bike
"Sit."
James frowned at his mother's command, but both he and Lily complied. They were in the same parlor that Lily had seen when she had come to visit their house that past summer. He looked around the room and spotted the ancient quaffle. He nudged Lily's leg with his own, and, seeing it, she gave a small smile of recognition.
"Excuse me," his mother said, "I want you both to look at me, and I want you to listen closely." James turned his head to look at her defiantly. She had never sounded so angry before, and it only succeeded in making him angry. Lily began to wring her hands that were tucked carefully in her lap.
"James," she said, "I don't know when it was that you decided that it was alright to treat me so terribly, but it is not allowed, am I understood? You are my son and you will do as I say. You are completely out of bounds. Who do you think you are, bringing this girl into our house and humiliating me?"
"I'm an eighteen year old fully grown wizard," James growled, "and Lily's my girlfriend."
"Oh, is she?" his mother scoffed. "Come off it. I know that trick that Sirius played on his mother. You're a cruel girl," she added, turning to Lily. "You look more mature than someone who would help a boy deceive his mother."
"I-" Lily began, looking confused. James tried to jump in to help her.
"Hey-"
"Let the girl speak, James." James knew not to argue. It was Lily's only chance to prove herself, and she looked as though she was ready to try.
"Deceive?" Lily asked, frowning, "I'm not deceiving anybody."
"You expect me to believe that you and James are engaged?"
"James never said we were engaged, and neither did I." Lily looked as though she was about to pull her knees up to her chest, as James had noticed she was prone to doing when she sat. As her feet lifted off the ground and her knees began to bend, she suddenly thought better of it and quickly put her feet to the ground. James breathed a sigh of relief. His mother hated it when ladies were improper.
"So you mean to say that you are his-his-girlfriend?" It was a word that his mother was not accustomed to using, and she spat it out as though it was poisonous.
"Yes, I am."
Ms. Potter laughed.
"Well, that's just fabulous," she said sarcastically, "and just how long to you intend to lead him on? Will it be one month or two?"
"I don't intend to lead him on at all," Lily said earnestly, "Ms. Potter, I love James."
This caused Ms. Potter to laugh harder.
"It's like I said," she said, "one month or two?"
"Ms. Potter, I'm not so simple minded that I would ever consider breaking up an engagement without thinking of the consequences."
"And yet, you decided to go through with it," James's mother got up and started pacing the room.
"Why do you want to force James into a marriage with a girl who he doesn't even know?" Lily asked pleadingly.
"Who doesn't speak English," James added.
"Don't question my judgment, girl."
"My name is Lily. Lily Evans," she said softly. Being addressed as `girl' seemed to cause her to begin to lose courage, and James could see her quickly reverting inward.
"Yes, Lily, whatev-" James's mother froze, and she fixed her stare on Lily's face.
"You," she began, "I know who you are. You're…you're that girl. That muggleborn."
Lily turned red.
"You were here, last summer. I remember you."
"I never met you," Lily said quietly.
"Yes," his mother continued, not listening to Lily. "I remember James telling me how you didn't belong to any family worth mentioning."
Lily shot James a hurt look, and at once his temper flared.
"I never said that!" he shouted. "For God's sake, I love her, Mum! Quit being such a bitch!"
In two long strides, James's mother was before him, and she slapped him hard on the cheek. He was surprised at how strong she was; he fell over sideways, his head landing in Lily's lap.
"Don't speak to me that way!" his mother cried.
James didn't listen. He felt close to tears; he didn't know why, but his whole cheek was aflame. He looked up at Lily. She still had a hurt look on her face, but, seeing the red mark that was quickly swelling on James's face, her expression became enraged.
"You've hurt him!" she shouted. "You hit him on his scar! Oh, God, please, don't let it bleed." She put her silk sleeve to his cheek, and James realized what had happened; where his mother had struck him was where Snape's curse had hit him. It wasn't long ago, but it felt like it had been eternity since that had happened. He looked up at his mother, and he could see she'd gone pale.
"Oh, Merlin," she said. "What does it mean if he bleeds?" James was shocked to hear a tone of extreme concern in her voice.
"It means I'll never forgive you," Lily said, her voice taking on the cold quality that James had only heard her use with Snape when she learned of how he had killed the Muggle family.
"I don't need your forgiveness," his mother spat. She kneeled on the ground next to James and attempted to pull Lily's sleeve from his face. He swatted his mother's hand away irritably. Lily's sleeve was cool and soothing, and his mother's hands were too warm and her perfume was too overpowering.
"Jamie," she said pleadingly, "please, darling, tell me what I've done."
"You've made Lily upset, that's what you've done," James said, smiling up at Lily. His joke made Lily frown.
"Stop smiling," she said sternly, "you're going to make it bleed. I won't have you in St. Mungo's for Christmas."
"Excuse me," his mother said coldly, "he already has a mother."
Lily opened and closed her mouth, as though checking what she was going to say. Finally, she said, very quietly,
"You don't have to be a mother to love someone. And you…No. I won't say another word." Quickly she ducked her head and carefully examined James's face. Faintly, he realized that they were arguing over him. It would have been funny if it weren't so serious.
"What is it?" his mother asked, her voice a high-pitched wail. "What, are they better mothers, Muggles? Are you going to tell me I'm a terrible mother?"
"Being a mother has nothing to do with being a Muggle," Lily said. She ran her fingers down the side of James's face gently. "It has everything to do with being human."
"So now you think I'm not a human, Lily Evans?" his mother asked. Lily looked away from James and straight at his mother.
"You think that because I'm muggleborn I'm not human."
"Of course you're human! Don't be ridiculous."
"But I'm not human enough to be with your son."
"Your humanity has nothing to do with your relationship with my son." She stood up and dusted off her robes. "At least when he marries Adele, they will have a sense of stability. He will never have to worry about the shame of divorce. Purebloods know better than that. And he will never have to worry about the Dark Lord coming after his wife. Can the same be said for you?"
"Mum," James said, slowly sitting up, "you and Dad have an arranged marriage. Look how that worked out. Sorry, but I don't want it."
His mother looked like she wanted to say something, but he kept talking.
"And I'll never have a sense of stability with Adele because I can't understand what she's saying."
"Jamie, you know she can learn English easily-"
"She fancies Sirius, Mum."
His mother rolled her eyes.
"All girls fancy Sirius, Jamie. But in time, she'll fall in love with you."
"Lily loves me and she's never fancied Sirius. Right?" The last word he said under his breath to Lily, and she nodded fervently to show that he was not mistaken.
"But the issue of the Dark Lord remains the same. Admit it, Darling; you'll never be safe as long as you're with a muggleborn."
"I reckon it doesn't make a difference, as I plan on fighting him when I get out of Hogwarts anyway."
His mother stifled a gasp.
"What?"
"I'm not going to be like you and Dad who just wait for things to sort themselves out. I'm going to fight him, and Lily's…well, I think she wants to do it with me."
"Did she put you up to this?" his mother asked sharply. "Is it her fault that you want to put yourself in such danger? Is she the one who taught you about ciragettes?"
"They're cigarettes, Mum. I learned about them from Sirius. Lily's-well, thanks to her I barely smoke at all." His mother looked dubious at this declaration.
"And I've always wanted to fight against Voldemort. Yeah, I said it," he added at the sound of her gasp. "And when he's gone, then people like Lily and I can be together without having everyone upset `cause she's a muggleborn."
His mother hesitated, then sighed.
"Do you have to do this?" she whispered. "Couldn't you at least-couldn't you have told me before now?"
"What, so you could make sure Lily couldn't come?"
She rubbed her eyes exhaustedly.
"Well, I'm not really sure how-"
A knock came at the parlor door.
"Yes?" his mother said, her tone sounding at once sweet and charming.
His father entered, and James turned away.
"What is it, dear?" she asked, the tired quality reappearing in her demeanor.
"Well, I don't mean to interrupt whatever conference it is you're having in here-"
"Well, as a matter of fact, I could use your help. Please explain to your son that what he and-and that girl-" Here she waved her hand vaguely at Lily, "explain to them what they've done. They certainly don't seem to want to listen to me."
"What, the snogging?"
"Edward!"
"What?"
"Must you be so profane?"
"That's what they call it, Liddie!"
"Don't call me Liddie," his mother said darkly, "not now. Do you mean to say you don't mind?"
"Well, Lydia," his father began, sitting on one of the unoccupied couches, "I would. But you see, Adele and Sirius have taken to performing the same `profane' action as these two, so, really, I think they're partly to blame as well."
"What?" James's mother went pale, and James's jaw dropped, realizing that, for once, his father had come to the rescue. He turned to look at Lily and saw that she didn't look nearly as happy as he felt. On the contrary, she'd begun to frown.
"But-but-" His mother looked at all three of them pleadingly, and seeing that she would receive no support, she sat down.
"What will they say about me?" she moaned. "How can I ever hope to face any of them again?"
"Face who?" That was Lily, obviously trying very hard to be nice to her.
"Everyone!" James's mother exclaimed. "You don't understand how it works here, it's more serious than you know!"
"Mum, Adele broke the engagement too."
"Well, she's French. She obviously doesn't understand our culture yet. But we have our upstanding British heritage behind us! Centuries of fine wizards who upheld the laws!"
"Because the French wizards have such different engagement customs," James said derisively.
"`Fine wizards', Liddie? Come off it, you've met Cousin Archibald."
"Oh, you think you're so clever!" she said. "Just wait. When our names are in the Daily Prophet and everyone knows what's happened, then laugh at me."
"I shall, dear," Edward said, getting off the couch and stretching. "I do so enjoy it when we make the papers. It almost makes being a Potter worthwhile."
"I don't understand you, Edward," she sighed, putting her head in her hands. James's father left, and when he did, she lifted her head slightly and waved her hand at Lily and James.
"Get out of my sight," she said. "I have the most horrid headache. I'm sure you'll be pleased to note that it's entirely your fault, Jamie."
"So you're done with us, then?"
"Yes. I hope you enjoy my misery."
"Thank you Ms. Potter," Lily said softly, looking as though she wanted to give her a hug. She thought better of it, and she took James's hand. Together, they walked out of the parlor.
As soon as the door had shut behind them, James let out a laugh.
"That was brilliant!" he cried. "Who would have thought Dad of all people…" He trailed off, truly amazed.
"Do you normally have a problem with him?"
"Are you kidding? I've never had a full conversation with the bastard in my whole life." He pulled Lily to him in a hug.
"Your mum hates me. You do realize that, don't you?"
"She'll get over it."
Lily pulled away from him and gave him a kiss on the tip of his nose.
"I hated her for a moment. I didn't want to, but when she hit you…"
James shrugged.
"It didn't bleed, right?"
"Thank goodness." She rested her head against his chest and sighed deeply.
"What's the matter?"
"Nothing. Don't worry about it."
"You know, it's very hard to take you seriously," James said, taking her hand and beginning to walk down the hall toward a staircase.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, this summer you were the one who taught me all about repressing feelings, y'know? And now you're always repressing stuff from me. Secrets and all that."
"It's not the same. I let you know how I'm feeling." In spite of this, James could see an expression of self-doubt creeping onto her face.
"Then tell me why you frowned when my dad told us about Sirius and Adele. You said he had a girlfriend or something?"
"Yes, well-" She froze. James, who had been looking intently at her, followed her gaze and jumped.
Leaning against a wall not ten feet away was Snape. He looked the same as usual, the only difference being that his dress robes were made of black velvet instead of the usual material of school robes.
James scowled. He hadn't spoken a word to Snape since the day that he and Lily had stopped speaking to one another. He had been so consumed with his impending engagement and his relationship with Lily that he'd barely had time to think about it.
"Sniv, what're you doing in my house?" James asked.
"I received an invitation, Potter." Snape gave him a sickly smile. James shuddered.
"Well, go back to the party. I don't want you greasing up the halls in the corridor, they've just been cleaned."
"James, stop," Lily said gently.
"No, Lily, let him talk," Snape sneered. "Maybe if he talks enough, that scar on his face will rupture. Or perhaps he'll receive a new one on the other cheek."
"Don't you dare," Lily said. "If you do, I'll tell Dumbledore. James was too noble to do it, but I'm not."
"Is that what you call it? I thought it was cowardice. That or his foolish pride was injured."
"Go away, Sev-Snape. All you're doing is trying to provoke a fight, and it's extremely childish of you." Pulling on James's hand, she began to walk away, but Snape put a hand on her arm to stop her.
"Don't touch her," said James angrily. "You haven't got the right."
"As if you do? Did you tell her about how you and your little friends planned to get me eaten by a werewolf?"
"You still have no idea what you're talking about, Snivellus."
"I know what Sirius did," Lily said, "and I forgave him a long time ago."
"Are you joking?" Snape cried. He was obviously extremely surprised, and the white of his eyes was, for once, greater than the black of his inky irises.
"No," Lily said, her voice hard. "You killed children, Severus. You've deserved every bad thing that's happened to you."
"You're saying you wish I'd died, then? You wish Lupin killed me?"
"No. Then Remus would have gotten in trouble."
"Lily, you don't mean-"
"Call me Evans," Lily said, "I don't want you to say my first name ever again. You're a bastard, Severus Snape."
He watched her for a long time, his face emotionless. Lily returned his gaze for a moment, and then turned away.
"Come on, James," she said softly. As they started up the staircase, a thought occurred to James.
"Lily…"
"Hmm?"
"Snape doesn't-he doesn't fancy you, does he?"
"Oh, God," she said miserably. "I hope not."
"And-" he paused, thinking about everything that had been said. "You-you want him dead?" The thought didn't bother him, but it surprised him. He never would have thought that Lily was capable of it.
It seemed she thought along the same lines as he did, because she went pale and held his hand tighter.
"Please don't make me answer that," she said. "It's such a horrible thing, and I hate myself for wanting it."
"He deserves it," James said stoutly.
Lily sighed.
"Where are we going?" she asked, stopping uncertainly at the top of the stairs.
"Did you want to see my room?"
Lily gave James a wary look. He blushed when he realized why.
"I'm not being pervy!" he said loudly. His words echoed down the empty hallway, and James ran a hand through his hair embarrassedly. After another moment, Lily laughed.
"I know," she said, "I just wanted to see what you would do."
"You haven't tested me much lately, have you? I should've known better than to think you'd gotten over it."
"Oh, you love me for it," she laughed.
"Lucky for you," he muttered darkly.
"James," Lily sang, looking pleased all of a sudden.
"What?"
"You're not engaged!"
"Er…yeah. I know."
"Well, I just realized it. I mean, I heard it, but my whole self didn't realize it until just now! Does that ever happen to you?"
"You are the oddest person that I've ever met. Really."
In spite of what he said, he was smiling widely. For the first time since her mother had died, Lily was acting the way she had when they'd first met. Soon her smile faded, and her expression became thoughtful, as though she was thinking the same thing he was. Nevertheless, it gave James hope to know that the girl on a yellow bike, the girl that had begun the crusade against his cigarettes and his moodiness, was still there beneath her layers of sadness.
Author's Note: Thank you to everyone who's read/reviewed! Again, I'm sorry that I don't have more time to respond, but I want you all to know that I read and appreciate every review I get! And in case anybody thinks to ask (which they may or may not)…this isn't the end. It just happens to be the chapter that incorporates the title ;)
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