Chapter 22: Moods and Broom Closets
James was in one of his moods.
He hadn't been in a very long time; in fact, for a while the days of being in a dark mood seemed distant and unnatural. But a week into December, having received yet another letter from his mother, his moodiness returned as though it had never left. It was a Friday night, and the rest of the boys had abandoned the dormitory for an environment less hostile.
He crushed the paper clenched in his fist even tighter, wishing that by doing so it could be destroyed and never have existed. But it remained firmly in his hand, and the situation continued to be the same as each second passed.
Dearest James,
Well, love, it's all settled; I've spoken it over with Madame Delacour, and we've decided that we can announce your engagement to Adele at the Christmas ball. Adele will come with me to pick you up from the station when you come home, and I hope that you two will spend plenty of time together over the holiday! Her English isn't the best, but she is a beautiful, well-off girl, and I know you two will get along famously.
Darling, I notice you haven't been responding to my letters, and your father agrees. I can only hope that you are minding your studies and Head Boy duties! Write me a letter sometime soon, and we love you. Only a few weeks until we are all together again!
Love,
Mum
Adele, James assumed, was Madame Delacour's sister. How was it that he was supposed to be engaged to someone whose name he had just learned? It infuriated him that the nosy old women had the audacity to even try. Especially now, when things were going along so well, when he had Lily. It seemed that everything in the universe was trying to go against them, like all the forces of nature were trying to take away the happiest thing that he had.
"James?"
James looked up from where he sat on his bed to see Lily sticking her head through the door. The light shining into the darkened room from behind her lit her hair up like a burning halo, and it hurt him to see her look so pretty.
"James, you missed the prefect meeting."
"Oh, did I?" James asked, his voice toneless.
"Yes, you did, but you needn't worry about it, Remus helped me." Lily took a step into the room hesitantly.
"Mm." James said.
"Sirius told me I shouldn't come in. Should I leave?"
James made a sound that really indicated neither yes nor no. Lily took it to mean that she should stay, as she closed the door almost all the way and strode toward him until she was standing next to his bed.
"What is it?"
"What do you think?" James showed her the crumpled ball in his hand, and Lily rubbed his shoulder sympathetically.
"Don't let her bother you, James."
"How can I help it when she sends me this--this bleeding piece of shit!" James threw the ball to The Floor and Lily jumped backward, the sudden change in tone surprising her.
"Do you want to tell me?" Lily asked quietly. James noticed that she was closer to the door.
"Mm."
"Witty," Lily said dryly. "If you decide you need to talk to me, let me know. I won't bother you if you don't want to see me." She walked out and James spread himself out on his bed, feeling hopeless. He tried to imagine what he could possibly write in a letter to his mother that could express his rage, annoyance, and desperation properly. He wondered, idly, if a howler would work well enough so that Adele would stay in France. He had a hard time convincing himself. Meanwhile, he'd managed to completely alienate Lily. He punched the pillow next to him.
The next thing he knew, the door of the dormitory, which had not been properly shut, was flung open and someone was on top of him from his torso up. He froze, then smelled a familiar shampoo--Lily's.
"Lily?" he asked, though his words were impossible to make out, as her arm was wrapped around his head.
"I just want you to know that I care about you very much," she said. "And that whatever your mum has done, it must have been completely terrible, and I hope I didn't sound like I didn't care about how you felt."
"Mmmph!" The loud noise that came from his throat was sufficient in getting her to remove her arm from his face, allowing him to sit up and straighten his glasses. She watched him expectantly, as though awaiting his verdict.
"I didn't think that you didn't care," James muttered finally. He was repressing a smile--once again, she'd convinced him that she was the strangest person he'd ever met, though he found it oddly endearing.
Lily smiled and put a hand to the side of his face.
"Alright."
Quickly, as though trying not to think about what she was doing, she gave him a kiss on the cheek, then hurried out, shutting the door all the way behind her. All thoughts of what had upset James had disappeared, replaced with the feeling of her lips on her cheek. The spot seemed to burn, and he touched it lightly, his insides twisting into knots. A ridiculous grin formed on his face, and he sat like that for a long while, completely content.
How could he be engaged to Adele when he had Lily?
***
The next afternoon in the common room, an amiable kick in the leg alerted James of someone's presence.
"Hey, Potter!" she said cheerfully. For a second he was bewildered, before he recognized the pink-cheeked grin--Hestia. He hadn't recognized her because her long, dark hair had been shorn into a boyish cut that formed ringlets near her ears and made her look at least three years older than she was.
"Hullo. Er--nice hair." He gestured at it, and Hestia ran a hand through it jovially.
"Marlene did it, believe it or not. Who knew she had a talent?" Hestia snorted, indicating that she certainly hadn't guessed it. James couldn't help laughing. The day had been a fantastic one, Gryffindor winning the Quidditch match against Hufflepuff 380-70. Lily giving him a giant congratulatory hug and the admiring look in her eyes helped too.
"How's Charlie?" he asked, not quite knowing what to say. To his embarrassment, Hestia's face clouded over and she looked like she was about to cry.
"Dirty piece of shit," she muttered, wiping at her eyes. "I never want to hear that name again."
"Why?" James asked, wanting to run away. He didn't like the idea of making a girl cry, least of all the one girl who he would never have suspected indulged in crying.
"Dirty rotten liar was snogging Meghan McCormack. One of the Ravenclaw chasers," she clarified, seeing James's blank look. He couldn't remember who she was, but seeing how annoyed Hestia looked, he nodded anyway.
"Oh, yeah," he said. Seeing she didn't look convinced, he added, "That ugly girl?"
She seemed pleased with that and clapped him on the back.
"Evans is lucky to have a boy like you," she said proudly. She moved slightly to the left to see something behind James, then called out after a moment, "Oy, Marlene!" She looked up at James, then said, "I hardly ever see the twit lately. Normally I can't get rid of her."
"What d'you want?" Marlene asked, stumbling over to them. It seemed as though she had gotten her hands on some post-Quidditch game alcohol, as her cheeks were flushed and she seemed slightly wobbly.
"Nothing, just want to save you from getting hopelessly drunk. Charlie--" She stopped, and a pained expression flitted across her face. It quickly disappeared. "Charlie told me how you get. A lot bolder, if you know what I mean." She gave James a knowing look that James didn't want to be able to interpret.
"I am not drunk," the blond girl said, drawing herself up with as much dignity as she could muster. "I'm just not miserable."
"Yeah, whatever."
"Shut up, Hestia," Marlene said, putting a hand to her head and looking exhausted. "Just let me enjoy myself, alright?"
"I never stopped you," Hestia snapped. Marlene stormed away, and James couldn't help thinking that Hestia looked pathetic.
"I think she holds it against me that me and Charlie broke up," she sighed. "Damn McKinnons. Even their mum hates me."
"Er--sorry." James didn't know what to say. Hestia shook her head at him.
"You don't have to entertain me, you bastard," she said. "Go snog Evans already."
James patted Hestia's shoulder in an awkward imitation of what he thought Lily would do. Hestia gave him an odd look, so he abandoned it and hurried away.
Instead of finding Lily, James found Sirius, who he hadn't talked to all day. It was clear that, in spite of having won a spectacular game of Quidditch, he wasn't sure if James was still in a mood. James grinned, and Sirius visibly relaxed.
"Great game, eh?"
"Yeah, I saw you telling everyone how it's thanks to you that Bagman hit all those people."
"It's true! If I hadn't told him exactly who to--"
"You told him to hit me."
"You looked like a Hufflepuff! That one Keeper bloke, you and he really--"
"I was wearing red and he was wearing yellow. And you told him to hit me twice."
"Bad luck, Prongs," Sirius said, obviously not wanting to admit anything. "So, has the wife had a kid yet?"
"What?"
Sirius rolled his eyes.
"Is Evans pregnant yet?"
James took a step away from him.
"Are you joking?"
"Well, you're together often enough, can't blame me for wondering…"
"Just because you're a dirty cradle robbing bastard doesn't mean--" He stopped talking at seeing the self-satisfied grin on Sirius's face.
"What did you do?" James asked slowly.
"Nothing."
"Who d'you think you're kidding?"
"Three guesses who wants me."
James honestly thought about it. Probably every girl who Sirius had dated, and many more who he hadn't even looked at, could say that they wanted him. He found it disgusting.
"Who?"
"Dorcas." S irius bounced on the balls of his face, looking extremely satisfied with himself. James shook his head, but decided to be glad for his friend, hoping that someday Sirius would choose to return the favor.
"That's brilliant. Have you snogged her yet?"
"Yeah bloody right," Sirius laughed, ambling over to an armchair and collapsing into it joyously. "I've got her right where I want her. Now I plan on snogging as many available girls as possible in front of her. Maybe even some that aren't available." Sirius wriggled his eyebrows suggestively.
"What about Rosmerta?" came a voice from behind James. James turned around and grinned as he found himself looking at Lily.
"Rosmerta?" Sirius asked, his brow furrowing. James didn't know if it was confusion or dislike that caused it, though he hoped it was the former.
"Yes. She seems to fancy you." James shook his head at Lily. He was surprised to see that she didn't seem to realize one thing that he had always known, and that was that if Rosie and Sirius dated, Rosie would end up getting hurt. In spite of the way she had acted toward Lily when they had been in Hosmeade, Rosmerta was a good girl, and James didn't want to see Sirius ruin a perfectly good friendship.
"She does?" Sirius asked, looking shocked. James found that rather unusual. In his experience, Sirius thought that every girl he knew fancied him, which was usually the case.
"Er-perhaps," Lily said, having interpreted James's expression. "I mean, she could. That's not to say she does, of course."
"But you think she does?"
"I--maybe?"
A grin began to form on Sirius's face.
"We-ell," he said, sounding as though he'd won a prize. "Rosie likes me. Rosie! Who would've thought? Of course, no sane girl could have resisted, but still! Prongs, what d'you think?"
"That you're a stuck up git."
"Don't get your knickers in a twist simply because I'm wildly famous among the female species," Sirius said, preening. "After all, you do have Evans. It's not Rosie, but I suppose you've made do with what you have."
"Excuse me," Lily said. "I'm right here. You could at least call me Lily." James started laughing, extremely amused by the stern tone Lily used with Sirius. Sirius stuck out his tongue at them.
"Go find a broom closet or something," he drawled.
"But then we might run into Peter and--" Lily froze, and Sirius and James gaped at her.
"What?" James asked in a high-pitched voice.
"Nothing," Lily said, reddening. "Absolutely nothing."
"Liar," Sirius said, pointing at her. "D'you mean to tell me that Wormtail has been in broom closets?"
"No."
"People in broom closets mean one thing," Sirius said, turning to James. "And that means Peter's got a girlfriend."
"It doesn't mean anything," Lily said in vain.
"But who the hell would snog Peter?" Sirius continued. James didn't say anything. He was too busy thinking. All of those times that Peter had mysteriously had to go, been unable to find--he was snogging someone? It all made sense, but it seemed completely unbelievable.
"Who's he been snogging?" Sirius asked Lily. Lily shook her head, a blush having passed over her cheeks.
"I have no idea what you're talking about."
"The map," James said to Sirius out of the corner of his mouth, and a look of understanding crossed Sirius's face. Without words, he was telling Sirius that the Marauder's Map would tell them everything they needed to know about who Peter was snogging.
***
Two hours later, Sirius and James were staring at each other in disbelief.
"Marlene McKinnon?" Sirius asked. "Isn't she the blond one?"
"Yeah," James was surprised as well. How could he have spoken to her and not known? It seemed like a mistake, but the map never lied.
"But she's--she's not ugly!" Sirius cried. "How the hell did Peter get--and I--and Lily--but you." He turned to face the bed next to his, which Remus was laying in. "You knew, didn't you?"
"I have no idea what you're talking about," Remus said, sounding exactly like Lily had; too guilty to be telling the truth.
"Look at them!" Sirius exclaimed, watching the map in horror. "There is only one dot! They're on top of each other!"
James gave an involuntary shudder. He did not want to think about it. He did not want to admit that Marlene's embarrassment around the Marauder's and her walking in on him while he was getting dressed could be explained by her dating Peter. There was just something about Peter that had made James think that he would be alone forever.
"I have a headache," Sirius moaned. "I'm going to bed. Goodnight." He flung the map onto The Floor (which was not a very smart thing to do, James reflected), and flopped onto his stomach. James pulled off his robes, then got into his own bed, which was on the other side of Sirius's.
The last thing that he remembered thinking that night was that there really was only one dot.
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