Chapter 30: A Snake and a Muggle
"James," Lily said suddenly, hours later, "don't you think you should at least send word to your mum that you're alright?"
James, Lily, and Sirius were sitting on couches in his flat, sipping tea and quietly listening to the wizarding wireless. Reports continued to pour in about several attacks across the country, and the last thing on James's mind had been talking to anyone, let alone his mother. Now it seemed painfully obvious that it was one of the first things that he should have done, and he felt himself grow moody.
"Shit," he said dully. "I'm a first class bastard."
"No you aren't," Lily admonished him, digging through her pocket and producing a Muggle pen and paper. "Just write to her now if you don't feel like moving."
James took the pen and paper gratefully. It was as though she could read his mind; he felt worn out, like he had experienced each of the attacks that they were hearing about instead of just one. He wrote:
Mum,
Just wanted to let you know that I'm not hurt, I'm at Sirius's flat. Sirius and Lily are fine, you and Dad don't go anywhere.
Love from James
Sirius looked over James's shoulder.
"Ooh," he remarked. "Real witty. Might want to take out a few bits, it's rather long, don't you think?"
"Ha ha. Shut up."
"Get over here, you bloody bird," Sirius shouted, seemingly at no one. A second later, however, Sirius's owl flew into the room lazily and landed on the arm of the couch, looking as though it had just woken up. Sirius snatched the letter from James, pulled a bit of twine out of his pocket, and attached it to the bird's leg.
"D'you normally keep string in your pockets, Sirius?" Lily asked interestedly.
"What can I say, Evans? I'm a good person to have around."
James snorted.
"That's the only time he'll ever have a decent reason to say that," he assured her. Lily laughed hollowly, her eyes drifting toward the wireless once more. After sitting in silence once more, Sirius suddenly got up. He opened the window, hurled his small owl out into the night, then quickly slammed it shut again.
"Damn," he hissed. "When'd it get so cold?" As he said it, a cold draft from outside blew through the room. James put an arm around Lily.
"When did you take to throwing owls?" Lily asked, an eyebrow raised and looking mildly concerned. Sirius ignored her, instead pulling his wand out of his pocket and silencing the wireless with a decisive flick.
"What're you doing?" James asked
"I think now is as good a time as ever to break out the firewhiskey." He started off toward the kitchen, but Lily called out,
"Excuse me, I'm a bit young for it, don't you think?" Sirius paused.
"Screw that, Evans," he said, rolling his eyes. "Who's gonna tell?"
"It's Christmas Eve. You can't drink Firewhiskey on Christmas Eve."
"Oh yeah? Watch me. I've woken up every year on Christmas with a hangover, just it's usually from the eggnog."
"That's disgusting."
"Well, so's listening to this shit right here." He charged off to the kitchen.
Lily looked up at James.
"Are you having it too?"
"Huh?" James asked, feeling suddenly intimidated. He hated that it seemed like they were always pulling him in two directions every time he was with both of him. It was Christmas Eve, after all; couldn't they lay off it for once?
Lily sighed, perhaps seeing that James was beginning to sweat bullets in spite of having been cold a moment before.
"Have you made any Pepperup potion, at least?" she called to the kitchen. Sirius reappeared, carrying numerous bottles.
"Lily, Lily, Lily," he said chidingly. "It's not getting drunk if you prepare for it ahead of time."
"Well, that's what I'll do, then," she said, standing up. "I'll make some so that for once you won't have to wake up with a hangover on Christmas. That's one of the saddest things I've ever heard, you know."
"Not when you do it with others," Sirius said, putting the bottles on a table he'd conjured up earlier in the evening. He handed one to James, then held one out to Lily.
"You can have one, too. Honest, this is fucking depressing." James didn't know why, but something about his offer seemed truly heartfelt. He doubted anybody had ever looked as touched by an offer of alcohol as Lily did in that moment.
"It's alright," Lily said gently. "I don't-alcohol makes it worse for some people. I'd rather not take the chance. I-thank you though. I'll help you to the toilet if it makes everything worse for you, too." She smiled at him, and Sirius mussed her hair affectionately.
"Know what," Sirius said. "I reckon James could've picked a worse girlfriend. Yeah, you're a nice girl, Evans. And I mean it in a good way. Not like-like those annoying ones who make you feel as though you're the scum of the earth, y'know."
James smiled, and Lily positively beamed.
***
"Know what? I reckon you've become boring." It was an hour later, and James and Sirius were sitting on the floor, completely drunk. James looked up from the Firewhiskey bottle he'd been staring into for the past few minutes.
"What?"
"Yeah. Since you've become like…married, you know." Sirius made vague hand movements that were probably meant to show something, but failed horribly. "You know, sort of like an old teddy bear. Sort of cute and whatever, but you sort of ignore it."
"Excuse me," James said, pulling himself up with drunken dignity. "I happen to like teddy bears."
"Well you would, as you're part of one. Your relationship is one giant-it's a giant bloody teddy-it's a giant bloody teddy bear."
"Don't talk about bloody teddy bears. That's morbid." That was Lily, who was sitting on the couch and watching them with her legs curled up to her chest. Sirius ignored her.
"Me myself, I like snakes. I've got a giant stuffed cobra, have you seen it?" Sirius laughed.
"Funny creatures, snakes. They've got-they haven't got any legs. Imagine not having any legs!"
"You Slytherin." James said, reaching for another bottle on the table. Lily put a hand on his arm.
"James," she said warningly. "I don't want to tell you what to do, but you've had three already. You should probably stop."
James smiled up at her.
"Alright, love," he said, stroking her hair and leaning in for a kiss. She put a finger on his lips.
"Later."
Sirius groaned.
"Teddy bear," he croaked, grabbing another bottle and uncorking it. He took a giant swig of it, then said,
"My girlfriend would let me have it. She's a-she's Rosie, you know, my girlfriend." Sirius laughed to himself. "Rosie would let me have it because she works at a bar."
"Hey, Lily," James said, frowning and looking up at Lily. "Why don't you work at a bar?"
"I'd like James's liver to live long enough for him to see thirty, thanks," Lily said dryly. Sirius laughed louder.
"When you're thirty, you're old," Sirius said firmly. "James doesn't-he doesn't need to live that long."
"Of course he does. He might want to have children."
"Ho ho ho," Sirius said, cackling wickedly and taking another drink. "Tell us more, Lillikins. They wouldn't happen to have-you know, fire heads and grass eyes, would they?"
"Fire heads and grass eyes?" James asked dully. "I'm not bloody having kids with fire heads and grass eyes. They're not-they're kids, y'know, not burning lawns."
James didn't really know how he and Sirius were forming full sentences; after all, the room was spinning horribly, and he didn't feel very well.
"What are you talking about?" Lily asked, yawning. "I can't understand a word you're saying."
Perhaps they were not forming the sentences as well as he'd thought.
"Know what I want," Sirius said loudly, rolling away his now empty bottle. "Crisps. Lots and lots of crisps. More crisps than you can fit in a…in a fat person."
"That's a lot," James mumbled.
"That's not very nice," Lily said at almost the same time.
"Aww, come on, Lily. I was just-I was-joking, yeah." Sirius laughed and stood up. James had to look away because, dizzy as he was, the sight of Sirius swaying so much was making him feel like falling down on his back. The only thing that prevented it was the couch that he was leaning on.
"Oh my goodness, Sirius, sit down," Lily said, standing up and quickly moving toward Sirius. Sirius laughed and fell down on the ground.
"Shit," he growled. "Shit, bugger, piss it."
"I've got to piss," James announced. Lily looked at both of them.
"What have I done?" she asked. "Why did I-why didn't I-alright, James, I'll take you to the bathroom and you can do whatever you need to-"
"You're not gonna help him use the toilet, Evans?" Sirius asked, grinning lecherously. Lily glared at him.
"Absolutely disgusting," she said shaking her head. "Sirius, you've had five bottles. How in the world are you still talking?"
"Magic. Stomach made of steel." He hit his stomach demonstratively, and a moment later, he was doubled over. Quickly, Lily summoned the small trash bin from the kitchen, but it was too late; Sirius had vomited all over the floor.
Seeing and smelling what Sirius had just done, James could feel his own stomach churning. He put a hand to his mouth, and Lily, seeing this, grabbed his arm and they disapparated to the bathroom. Her timing was perfect, because the moment James managed to lunge for the toilet, he, too, began to throw up.
"I'll be right back, alright?" Lily whispered into his ear.
James opened his mouth to reply, but his head was back in the toilet before he could say another word.
Lily disapparated to the living room, and James gripped the toilet for dear life. His head throbbed, and every part of him hurt. Worse than that, now everything that had driven him and Sirius to feel like drinking came flooding back. The screaming people, the claustrophobia, the feeling that he'd lost Lily…all of those feelings completely overwhelmed him, and he wanted to stick his face under the faucet of the sink to cool his burning face.
A popping noise told him that Lily had come back, and a moment later her cool fingers were on his cheeks.
"You're burning up," she said quietly. "Maybe I should give you some Pepperup potion now."
James let out a loud, painful moan, imagining how much hotter the potion would make him. Lily stroked his hair soothingly.
"It's alright," she said. "I won't give it to you. I'll wait if it bothers you so much. I'll just-I'll get you some water."
As she said that, James became aware of how dry his throat and mouth were. He nodded his head in what felt like a huge, painful motion, though it barely budged. Lily had a cup at his lips less than a minute later.
"There you are," she said. "Take it-no, no, you'll throw up again, slow down."
Gratefully, James downed the whole cup. Though it barely quenched his thirst, it seemed to cool him a little. At least he didn't feel like he was on fire.
"Use the loo now," she said. "I'll get you some more water."
James did as she said, and after drinking another cup of water, he felt more exhausted than he had in a long time. He practically fell asleep on top of Lily as she supported him to the room she was staying in. Somehow, though, she managed to get him there without using her wand, and she tucked him into her bed.
"Merry Christmas," she whispered into his ear, and that was the last thing he heard before slipping into unconsciousness.
***
James had actually done his Christmas shopping without Lily's help. He'd done it only a week before leaving Hogwarts, but it had been done in what he felt was a timely manner. He'd actually gotten something for Remus and Peter, a first for him. They'd learned several years ago to accept that Sirius was the only one who got a gift from James (which was usually nothing more than some Honeydukes candy), so he liked to imagine how pleased they would be to receive the customary candy as well.
Lily posed a rather different challenge. What did you get for a girl? Of course, he knew what Sirius had suggested: chocolate, jewelry, perfume. They'd been pretty good ideas, but they didn't really seem to be good ideas for gifts for Lily. She was different than other girls, so didn't she deserve to get a present that was different as well?
After a long time thinking about it, he'd gone to see Dumbledore.
"To what do I owe this pleasure, Mr. Potter?" Dumbledore had asked pleasantly.
"Er-sir, I was wondering…d'you-er-d'you know any muggle women?"
Dumbledore's eyes had danced at this question.
"As a matter of fact, I do. May I be so bold as to speculate as to why you would ask?"
"It's-it's a present for Lily, for er-for Christmas, actually."
"Ah," Dumbledore said, nodding. "Say no more. The wonderful world of Christmas shopping…I myself continue to hope that someone will think to buy me some socks…"
"Excuse me, sir?"
"Nothing," he said, shaking his head and smiling. "I know a woman named Arabella Figg who might be of some assistance. Incidentally, if you are a part of the organization I mentioned earlier in the year, you may be seeing a good deal more of her." Seeing James's blank look, Dumbledore added,
"She's a squib, James."
James started. Dumbledore had never called him by his first name before.
As it had turned out, Arabella Figg had known exactly what James was talking about and was happy to comply. And so, thanks to her, James was able to acquire something that he hoped Lily would like.
***
When James woke up, he felt like he'd been hit in the head with a bowling ball.
"Argh!" he cried, tumbling to the floor in his efforts to bury himself in the mattress and away from the small amount of light showing through the curtains.
"You're up!" Lily cried. James covered his head and felt like crying, as the bright light from outside the room and Lily's voice made it feel as though there were daggers going through his ears and brain.
"Take this," she said, forcing something to his lips. He opened his mouth, and the familiar burning sensation of Pepperup potion poured into his mouth and down his throat. He lay unmoving for a moment, and in the instant that smoke began to pour out his ears, he felt better. Lily ran a hand through his hair.
"Your mum sent the presents you got us," she said quietly.
"Are you serious?" He was honestly shocked. It didn't sound like something anyone in his family would do, let alone his mother.
"Mmhm. She worried about you."
James rolled his eyes.
"After eighteen years she's finally figured out how to be a proper mum?" he asked skeptically.
"People change. It happens all the time."
"Hm." James sat up, and Lily did too.
"Sirius already opened his," she said, "and I think he went to give a present to Rosie."
"Are you finally glad that we didn't tell Rosie about Adele?"
Lily's smile slipped a little.
"Let's not talk about that right now," she said. "It's Christmas!"
James was happy to comply, and instead began to worry about whether or not she'd like what he'd gotten for her.
Author's Note: And of course, just because fanfic authors are evil by nature, you'll have to wait until next chapter to find out what it is. Sorry! ;)
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