A/N: My apologies if you are feeling any angst. I have to tell you, its time to sit back and prepare to be suffocated with some more! I'm not finished yet. I would like to once again thank all of those loyal readers and reviewers who have stuck with me for so long. I appreciate the feedback. It makes me a better writer. For those who are just joining us, welcome! I hope you have enjoyed what you have read so far. Bonus points to my dear Beta, Dementor149, a great friend. Okay, enough sap, read on!
Please don't kill the writer, she is just reporting on what happened. The characters are the ones who are really running this show, and making all the decisions!
Chapter 32
The Consequences of Leading
The silence in the room was deafening as everyone stared at the golden bird. Albion turned and looked at Harry, cocking his head to one side.
"I certainly hope that future meetings are more lively. I find it quite boring when everyone just sits and stares."
Harry smiled at the phoenix.
"I think you surprised them," he said.
"Harry," asked Tonks, "where did this phoenix come from?"
"Albion is a friend of Fawkes," Harry explained.
"Does he know what's going on? The battle with You-Know-Who?"
Albion ruffled his feathers and Harry heard him chuckle.
Harry held back a laugh. "Yeah, he knows."
Moody snorted. "Are you sayin' that you want to put your trust in a bird that we just met? How do we know he wasn't sent by You-Know-Who to spy on us? We just uncovered the last spy!"
Harry's stomach churned at the though of Snape. It didn't matter what Dumbledore had said, he still didn't trust the slimy teacher.
"Are you sure you can trust him, Harry?" Ron asked.
"Yes," Harry replied. "Fawkes introduced him personally. I trust Fawkes."
"What do you think, Minerva?" Lupin asked as he scrutinized the phoenix.
McGonagall had been sitting quietly the whole time, listening to everyone's comments and watching the bird. She leaned forward as Albion turned to look at her. She looked down her nose over the top of her glasses, and their eyes met. They were still for a few seconds, and then McGonagall broke eye contact with a gasp and sat back. She glanced at Harry, who realized suddenly that she knew, and he gave a miniscule shake of his head.
"Minerva?" Lupin asked worriedly.
McGonagall smiled slowly and nodded her head.
"We can trust him," she said.
"Well, lets get started then, shall we?" Mr. Weasley said. "Albion, we request your guidance. We need someone who is wise, brave, and willing to take command. We need someone that our New Order will follow, and yet, someone who is ready to fight for us and with us. In your great wisdom and experience, do you know of an individual who can do this for us?"
Albion nodded his head once.
"Do you need time to find this individual, or can you tell us now?"
Albion squawked once, and stretched out his wings.
"I think he already has someone in mind," Tonks said.
Albion pulled himself up to his full height and began to walk down the table. Harry almost laughed out loud; he could picture Dumbledore doing the same thing. He smiled as he watched the phoenix scrutinize each person sitting at the table before walking on. He heard Ron's sharp intake of breath as the phoenix stopped to look at him carefully, and he heard Mrs. Weasley let out a sigh of relief as Albion moved on to look at Tonks and Moody. Harry figured that Albion would choose either Lupin or McGonagall. They had the experience, and the respect of most of the old order.
He sat back, still smiling, thinking that it would be good for Lupin to get out from under the stigmatism of being a werewolf. He almost laughed at the disappointment on Fred and George's faces. He was surprised when Albion stopped, then carried on past McGonagall.
`It must be Lupin then,' he thought as Albion came back to stare at him and Lupin.
Albion cocked his head at Lupin, before giving a small nod. The smile fell off of Harry's face as Albion came and stopped in front of him, settled down and bowed low to Harry. Harry shook his head at the realization of what the phoenix had obviously planned so many months ago. Once again he was being put in a situation that he did not volunteer for. Albion slowly blinked his eyes.
"No…" he said as the fear took hold of him. "I can't."
He couldn't be responsible for that many people.
`Who else, Harry, would those of the DA trust? Who else would the old Order listen to? Both parties need you. Harry, you must be the one who brings both sides together and leads them to defeat Voldemort,' Albion said. "I have played their little game, we have done the phoenix ritual. They will accept you as their leader. The phoenix has said so."
"Please," he whispered to Albion. "Chose someone one else. I don't think I can handle the responsibility of any more deaths on my hands."
`I've made my choice, Harry, that's what I have been asked to do. It is now up to you as to whether this New Order survives.'
Harry felt his anger beginning to build at being put on the spot. Dumbledore was manipulating him again. He should have known. Harry got up and left the room, ignoring the calls to come back.
"Let him go," Lupin said. "I'll speak with him later."
"Certainly not actin' like a leader," grumbled Moody. "Though, I remember another leader behavin' the same way. Seems like he- Hey! Ruddy bird! Watch where you're spreadin' them wings!"
Albion squawked at him, then turned to face McGonagall, who was trying not to laugh out loud. He gave a slow nod of his head before taking flight back up the stairs.
"Well," said Mrs. Weasley. "Who needs their tea warmed?"
Hermione stood up, intent on going upstairs, but Lupin stopped her.
"Let him have time to process this. It's a big thing. I'll go see him later."
****** ****** ****** ******
Harry was furious. He stormed all the way up to the top floor, and found himself facing the door to his Godfather's room. He hesitated for a moment before opening the door and stepping in. A slight breeze was blowing from the open window, and he could see the sun dancing on the particles in the air. He could tell by the number of bones on the floor that Kretcher had never bothered to clean this room. He moved towards the bed, taking his anger out on the remnants by kicking them across the floor. He sat down on the bed and coughed at the dust that he stirred up.
"Scourgify," he said as he waved his wand at the bed and then the floor.
As he sat trying to process all of what just happened, he heard the scrape of claws on the windowsill. He turned to see Albion sitting, watching him.
"Now what do you want?" Harry said as he picked up a missed bone from the floor.
`I sensed you need to discuss something,'
Harry snorted. "You wouldn't like to hear what I have to say."
`I doubt that there is anything you could say that I have not already told myself,' Albion said.
"Okay, how about this? I spent six years having you keep me in the dark, feeding me only enough information to stave off my curiosity. You used me for your own war against Voldemort," he said as he threw the bone across the room.
`I do believe that I apologized for that in my former life,' Albion said.
Harry got up and began to pace.
"Oh sure. Sorry for that, Harry. By the way, did I tell you about the man who killed your family? Sorry, Harry. Oh, and did I tell you about the prophesy? Sorry, Harry. Oh, did I tell you about the Horcruxes?"
Harry turned and stalked over to the bird.
"Now it's oh, did I tell you I want you to lead an army of people against Voldemort, putting them all at risk?"
Albion just stared at him.
`Do you have a more logical suggestion?' he asked.
"What about McGonagall?"
`She will always be their teacher.'
"Or Lupin?"
`He is not trusted by all, due to his condition.'
"Well, there's…there's…"
`Ron? Hermione?'
"No," Harry said quickly.
`Harry, I want you to seriously think about this. It takes a great wizard, someone powerful, quick and smart. Someone that everyone respects.'
Harry shook his head. "I'm not any of those things. I'll never be as powerful as you were."
He flopped back down on the bed, and Albion followed him in and sat beside him.
`I do not make my decisions lightly, Harry. I have had several months to think on it. You are what the Order needs. You can organize those available so they are working to the best of their ability. They need you, and you need them if we are to end this war.'
Harry sighed. He hated it when Dumbledore, now Albion, was right.
"Do I get to choose my own inner circle?"
`Of course. You may organize as you see fit.'
Harry heard a knock on the door and got up to answer it. Lupin looked at him anxiously as he opened the door.
"Alright there, Harry?" he asked.
Harry looked back at where Albion was sitting before turning and giving him a tight smile. "All things considered, I'm fine, I think."
Lupin looked past Harry to see the phoenix sitting on the bed. He frowned in concern.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
Harry shook his head. "Thanks. Maybe later."
"You won't be alone in this, Harry. You know that," Lupin said. "I will always be here for you."
Harry smiled warmly at the older man who had become like a father to him.
"I appreciate it," he said.
He hesitated for a moment before sighing in resignation. "Could you tell the Order I accepted Albion's decision? I'm just not ready to talk to them. I need some time to process this."
Lupin smiled. "Sure, Harry. Tonks and I are going to be heading back to Hogwarts soon. You should do the same."
Harry nodded as Lupin turned to leave.
"Remus?" he called.
Lupin stopped to look at him.
"Could you ask Hermione to come up here? I…uh…would like to talk to her."
Lupin smiled and carried on down the hall. Harry went back to where Albion was sitting.
"So, as my familiar, you do as I say?"
`So they tell me,' Albion replied.
"Well, good. I need to speak to Hermione…alone."
Albion cocked his head and looked at Harry for a moment.
`Are you sure of this?' he asked.
Harry frowned at him. "Yes, and stay out of my head."
He heard Albion chuckle as he took flight out the window.
He heard a tap on the door and turned to see Hermione smiling at him. She came in and wrapped her arms around Harry. He closed his eyes and breathed in deep, savoring this last moment with her. He very gently pulled her away so he could look at her face.
Hermione searched his eyes, looking to see if she could find out what was bothering him. She saw…emptiness. He had shut himself away from everyone again, including her. He was reverting back to his old ways. She shook her head, tears welling up in her eyes.
"No," she whispered. "Don't do this, Harry."
Harry smiled wistfully at her, wiping a tear that was trailing down her cheek.
"You mean a lot to me, you know that don't you?"
"If I meant that much to you, you wouldn't be doing this."
"What do you think I'm doing?" Harry asked.
Hermione moved away from him and crossed her arms over herself protectively.
"You're pushing me away, shutting me out. I can see it in your eyes."
Harry turned away from her and moved to the window so she couldn't see the pain.
"Voldemort is planning on getting to me by destroying all those who are close to me," he said quietly. "He already knows you're my friend. If he knew how much I…I cared for you, he would go after you first. I want to have a fighting chance. If he hurts, or even worse, kills you, I…I don't know what I would do," he finished in a whisper.
Hermione placed her hand on Harry's shoulder and Harry covered it with his hand. After a moment, he moved away from her comfort. Hermione watched him go, the hurt visible in her eyes.
"With everything going on right now, I just need some time. You have to trust me on this."
Harry heard her sniff and turned to look at her. He wished that he hadn't. The pain in her eyes broke his heart.
"Why should I?" she choked, as she moved towards the door. "You obviously don't trust in us."
"Hermione, wait!" Harry called as she fled the room.
"Damn," he said as he watched her run down the stairs, taking his heart with her.
Harry spent the rest of the morning avoiding both Ron and Hermione. He chose instead to explore the old house, checking out several rooms he had not been in before, in hopes of finding the locket. Just after lunch he heard the roar of the fireplace, and figured Lupin and Tonks had left. He was surprised then, to see Lupin sitting in the kitchen when he arrived after reluctantly giving up his search for the Horcrux.
"Ron and Hermione just left," he said. "She seemed quite upset. Is everything alright?"
Harry shrugged as he helped himself to a sandwich from the plate on the table.
"Harry, are you sure you are doing the right thing?" Lupin asked.
"No, but its what I have to do for now," Harry said. "Don't worry, I can deal with this on my own."
Lupin shook his head as he got up and put his empty cup in the sink. Teenagers were quite annoying sometimes.
"Are you ready to go?" Lupin asked him.
"Just let me get my bag," Harry said.
Lupin, Tonks and Harry arrived in Tonks' office, and Harry said his goodbyes before heading up to his common room. He had just entered, deep in thought, when the fall of footsteps made him look up to see Ron bearing down on him. He didn't look too happy.
"Ron! Wait! I-"
WHAM!
Ron punched him hard in the face. Harry fell against the wall before sliding down to sit on the floor, rubbing his aching jaw. He figured he deserved that, but it didn't take away the pain he was still feeling in the center of his chest.
"You bastard!" Ron said, standing over him, fists ready. "You bloody bastard! You promised you wouldn't hurt her!"
"Yeah, you're right, I did," Harry mumbled as he worked his jaw.
"Get up!" Ron growled. "I want to hit you again."
"Ron!" Hermione called as she came from her room. "Stop it right now!"
She took hold of Ron's arm and dragged him protesting from the room, without sparing a glance at Harry.
"Fine!" he said to no one in particular as he got up. "This is just what I wanted, right?"
`You're a lousy liar,' a familiar voice said inside his head.
"Sod off," he replied, as he headed for his room.
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