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Harry Potter and the Desideratum Crusade by Roz
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Harry Potter and the Desideratum Crusade

Roz

A/N: It's hard to believe the amount of time that has gone by since I last posted. I am pleased to say that after a battle with health problems I am back on track, and able to focus more on what is gong on around me. I do feel bad as to the length of time that it has taken me to post this, and I apologize profusely. I hope that my faithful readers are still around. There are two more chapters left, and I hope you enjoy them. Happy reading!

Chapter 61

Farewells and New Beginnings

"Hello Harry."

Harry slowly opened his eyes. The leaves in the tree above his head fluttered gently. He would always associate this place with a feeling of peace and tranquility. It was so much like the tree near the lake at Hogwarts.

"It's interesting to see how alike you and I are."

Harry sat up at the sound of her voice to find a beautiful, raven-haired woman standing a few feet away. Her features were fine, almost china-like, but he could tell she possessed a strength that few others would have. He knew it was Amoura.

"How do you figure that?" he asked.

She smiled at him, and Harry was thoroughly enamored by her.

"This tree was my favorite place as well when I was at school," she said.

Harry looked up at the rustling leaves.

"There aren't too many places-"

"Where you could find peace," she finished.

They were silent for a while.

"So…it's over, isn't it?" Harry finally whispered.

"Yes."

"Then…why am I here?" Harry asked.

"I am afraid that was my fault," Amoura said. "I overburdened your magic. You had been coping so well, accepting my presence without the struggle, that when your stag emerged from your wand, it just seemed so natural to follow it. I felt so free…" she smiled at the memory of it.

"But I failed to realize how much my magic had integrated with yours. I drained you of much of your power, Harry, and for that I am sorry."

This took Harry aback.

"You mean…I…I can't do magic anymore?" he said with a sudden sense of panic.

He didn't want to be non-magic: a squib. He couldn't live without being a part of the Wizarding world now. It had taken him too long to find a place where he truly felt he belonged.

She laughed, and Harry found it to be a beautiful sound.

"Goodness, no," she said. "A wizard as powerful as you will never be without magic. It was more like an overloading of your senses. You were not used to it yet, and…" she shrugged. "It was a tough day," she finished with a smile. "It probably won't happen again."

Harry relaxed in relief.

"It's time for me to go," Amoura said after a moment.

Harry looked at her in confusion. Go? Go where?" he said.

"Beyond the veil," she replied. "It has been far too long since I have seen my husband, but I just wanted to say good-bye."

"Will I…will I ever see you again?"

Amoura smiled through her tears.

"This is why I knew I had made the right choice," she said. "Many people would have been asking about my powers, not worrying if they would see me again."

"Well…I…"

"I will be one of the many awaiting your arrival for our next great adventure."

Harry's head snapped up at that comment.

"For now, however, I leave you with my gift. You are a great and powerful wizard, Harry, even without my powers. I know you will continue to choose the path that is right over the path that is easy."

"I'm beginning to think you were related to Dumbledore," Harry said.

"He was an incredible student," she said, but added nothing more, much to Harry's chagrin.

"Farewell, Harry," she said. "And thank you for giving me my gift of freedom."

"Good-bye," Harry whispered as he watched her disappear.

He shifted slightly, and he felt a sharp pain in his leg, and realized that his body was aching. He looked up, and realized everything was beginning to fade.

****** ****** ****** ******

Harry didn't realize that consciousness could hurt so much. He decided to focus on breathing, as there seemed to be less pain associated with it. He knew where he was without opening his eyes. He recognized the smells and sounds of the Hogwarts infirmary from his numerous visits. Madame Pomfrey had grumbled last time that he had his own reserved bed. He figured that's where he was.

Knowing he couldn't stay still forever, he slowly opened his eyes a crack, only to slam them shut again as the glare from the overhead lights threatened to pierce through his eyeballs.

`Okay…lets try something else.'

He slowly wiggled his toes and then his fingers. They felt stiff and achy.

`Must have been that tackle by Bellatrix,' he thought ruefully as the memories started coming back.

Harry slowly and determinedly pulled himself into a sitting position, wincing, as the movement seemed to make his body protest even further. He groaned and clutched his head as the gremlins that seemed to have taken up residence upstairs were banging mercilessly against the inside of his skull. He closed his eyes for a moment, listening to his heartbeat and trying to relax.

`Time to use some new power…'

He kept his breathing steady, and starting at the pounding headache in his head, he slowly pushed the pain away, convincing his nerve endings that they were fine, telling his muscles to relax, soothing away all the little aches and pains. When he opened his eyes again, it didn't seem to hurt as much, and he relaxed. He reached for his glasses, and turned to see Draco staring at him.

"How did you do that?" he asked.

Harry reached for the water, drawing a large sip and letting its coolness moisten his dry throat, momentarily ignoring Draco.

"I don't know what you are talking about," he said after a moment.

Draco snorted. "A moment ago you were clutching your head in pain. It doesn't go away that fast."

Harry just shrugged, focusing on his glass of water.

"You look different too," Draco narrowed his eyes. "Like…like you know something that no one else knows."

He was quiet for a moment, studying Harry, who avoided making any eye contact with him.

"It had something to do with that pendant, didn't it?" Draco said suddenly. "The one the Dark Lord was holding. I had seen it earlier, and he seemed quite pleased to have it. He had been looking for it for a while. He was always muttering about it, saying that it held great powers." Draco said. "You have it," he finished quietly.

"He discussed it with his Death Eaters?" Harry said worriedly. He really didn't want a lot of people knowing about his powers.

Especially Death Eaters.

"No, sometimes, when he was in one of his…moods, he would take to talking to himself. I think he would forget that I was there, as ordered, sitting at his feet," Draco said bitterly, and Harry could hear the humiliation and pain in his voice.

Harry looked over at Draco, and in turn saw Madame Pomfrey headed their way. As soon as she saw him sitting up in bed, she pursed her lips and looked extremely annoyed.

"Mr. Potter! You should be resting! There is nothing more important that warrants you getting out of bed. The world is safe now because of you, and you should be getting some rest."

"I'm fine, Madame Pomfrey, really," Harry said.

"I can vouch for that," Draco murmured.

Madame Pomfrey turned and looked sternly at Draco, causing him to flinch.

"You let him be, Mr. Malfoy," she warned. "Or I'll hex you myself."

She bustled off, muttering under her breath about `helping the enemy', and `why do I bother?' as she went. Draco watched her go. When he looked back, he found Harry watching him.

"Why would you want to hide the extent of the pendant's powers?" Draco asked.

Harry waved his hand, and suddenly, in the bed beside him, was a white ferret with bandages around his head and a cast on one leg. Harry waved his hand again, and Draco returned. Draco looked at Harry in amazement. He could feel the power radiating off of him, and see maturity in his eyes that hadn't been there before. For one brief moment, he wondered how he could get that pendant for himself.

"The pendant's power isn't available to just anyone," Harry said interrupting his thoughts. "It was released."

Draco frowned. If the pendant was gone, then how…

Suddenly, he was very nervous as he realized that the power he saw had come from Harry, not from some magical object. The wizard sitting beside him was possibly more powerful than Dumbledore or the Dark Lord. That thought made him feel quite uncomfortable.

Harry could see what Draco was thinking without even trying to read his thoughts.

"Think for a moment, Malfoy. How did the Wizarding world react to a grown wizard having insurmountable powers? How do you think they are going to react to the seventeen-year-old whose powers were greater than his? I have been scrutinized enough in my life. I don't want to give them any more fodder. Let them believe it was a fluke of luck. I'll have peace and quiet then. Besides," smirked Harry, "Madame Pomfrey would be very upset if her favorite patient didn't need her anymore."

"Point taken," murmured Draco. "I suppose you'll modify my memory now to keep your secret safe?"

"Do I need to?" Harry asked.

"No," Draco said. He was relieved to see Harry nod in acceptance. He knew that it could have been done with a wave of his hand.

"But don't think I wouldn't consider doing so in the future," Harry warned.

They were quiet for a while, each lost in their own thoughts.

"Why did you do it?" Harry quietly asked after a moment.

"What?" Draco said.

"You helped. Although I'm sure you took great satisfaction in "killing me", you must have known that there would be consequences if he found out."

Draco shrugged. "It was a risk," he said. "I wasn't expecting to see you back in the Great Hall so quickly."

"You risked your life. Why?"

Draco looked towards the ceiling, remembering the days leading up to the attack. The humiliating way he had been treated, like nothing more than a pet. The brutality he witnessed, the pain and suffering that one man created was burned into his brain, and he would never forget it.

"He killed my father," Draco whispered at first, and then his voice grew stronger. "Voldemort couldn't accept any failures or mistakes. He killed my father, tortured him to death in front of me, because he made a mistake. Then, because he wasn't satisfied with his death, he set out to humiliate my mother and me. I was nothing more than a…a…pet, a plaything to amuse him, and my mother..." He trailed off, unable to voice what he had seen.

"If it wasn't for Professor Snape, I probably would have been dead."

"Snape?" Harry said.

"Yeah, I know how you feel about him, but he was the one who persuaded Lord Voldemort that I could be valuable. He convinced him that my knowledge of Hogwarts and the students there could be useful, and he offered to train me to become a good little Death Eater." Draco said.

"Sounds like the Snape that I know," muttered Harry.

"You can say what you want, but he was good at what he did. If it wasn't for him, you would be dead as well." Draco shot back.

Harry said nothing.

"Lord Voldemort wanted to use someone to ensure his immortality." Draco continued. "Did you know he had a new plan for immortality? One that involved my mother to an extent," Draco said.

Harry shrugged. "He mentioned it."

"My mother would have to play nursemaid," Draco spat. "He had found a way to transfer his soul to a new body without splitting it."

`Amoura's pedant…' Harry thought, and was glad once again that he had found it first.

"So, he was going to take over someone's body?" Harry asked.

"You could say that. He was going to…to…" Draco grimaced at the thought. "I couldn't let him do that to her," he whispered.

Harry looked at him in confusion. Voldemort has been looking for a woman's body?

"After the baby was born, my mother would raise it to be a good little Death Eater. Then, when the time came, he would move into his new body. He had even decided to use Hermione as a back up, in case the first child wasn't a boy. That's why he had separated them from the rest of the school. I didn't know…" Draco trailed off, the pain and guilt of what had almost happened eating at him.

Harry's eyes widened as he realized what Draco was suggesting. It made him feel sick, and he was suddenly very glad he had stopped him.

"So you were protecting Ginny," he said. "You were the contact she was meeting."

"So now we know each other's darkest secrets," Draco replied.

"Does Ron know?" Harry asked.

"If he didn't, he does now," Draco shrugged, remembering the earlier events.

"He's going to kill you for messing with his sister," Harry shook his head. "And if he doesn't, you have the rest of the Weasley clan that will be trying to kill you, considering the history and all."

"Ron can't, I saved his life. He owes me a Wizarding Debt. Besides, my relationship with Ginny is none of his business," Draco smirked, but then his smile faltered. "I guess I will have to rely on Ginny to keep me safe from the rest of them."

"Well, they'll probably just make your life a living hell then," Harry grinned.

"It'll be worth it," Draco replied with a wistful smile before he sobered. "Look, I know we've never been friends, and there have been some pretty horrible things that have happened--"

Harry snorted. "Understatement at best."

"Yeah, well, it's hard when you are brought up believing one thing only to find out you were wrong," Draco said bitterly.

"At least I can sympathize with you there," Harry muttered.

"Look, my father wasn't the nicest of men, but he did his best, given the circumstances."

Harry just looked at him, his disagreement evident on his face.

"You aren't going to make this easy for me, are you?" Draco grumbled.

"Why should I?" Harry asked.

"Because you of all people should understand the position I was in! You and I were caught in the middle of a battle between two powerful wizards. We were both used. Unfortunately for me, I learned too late. I'm just trying to say I'm sorry. I don't have many, if any, friends left, and I don't need to be enemies with the most powerful wizard in the world. I'm not asking to be friends, I just want to know that I won't always have to keep my eye on you."

Harry studied him for a moment, trying to gage his sincerity. He knew Draco was leaving himself wide open for attack, Harry could see into his mind and see the hope for acceptance. It had seemed so easy to slip in. He hadn't even said the spell. He sighed and leaned over, offering his hand.

"Apology accepted."

Draco winced in pain as he reached over and shook his hand before settled back down into his bed, turning his back to Harry.

"Good. Now I can go to sleep and know that I won't be dead in the morning."

Harry smirked as he studied him for a moment, before leaning over to get his clothes. It was interesting having the roles reversed. The bed creaked as he got up, and Draco stiffened, but didn't turn around. Harry had just finished dressing when he heard the infirmary door open. He looked up to see Hermione quietly sneaking in. He watched her walk towards him, and he truly smiled for the first time, knowing that he actually had a future with the woman he loved.

As soon as she saw him standing at the end of his bed, she rushed up and hugged him, pressing her body as close as she could to his. Harry sighed as he hugged her back and inhaling her scent; he never thought he would get to do that again.

"How are you feeling?" she whispered.

Harry kissed her in response, savoring the feel of her lips on his. He kissed her hungrily, running his hand up her back, reminding himself that he was alive. After a moment, he reluctantly pulled away, and the way Hermione looked at him made him want to find some place where they could be alone. He sighed and took her hand, leading her to the door. She glanced at Draco as they went by.

"Malfoy give you any trouble?" Hermione murmured.

"No," Harry said, looking over at the sleeping form. "We came to a mutual understanding."

Hermione raised her head and looked at him questioningly.

"Let's just say that we both know something more about the other," Harry said as he kissed her gently.

"And that makes everything okay?"

Harry turned and looked back at his former enemy, thinking. It was amazing how things could change. He frowned as he realized the dangerous position that Draco could be in. His knowledge of the pendant could fall into the wrong hands if anyone ever probed the inside of his head. Harry knew he could keep the knowledge of the pendant safe, but he didn't think Draco could do the same. He sighed as he dropped Hermione's hand.

"Wait right here for a moment," he said as he moved to stand beside the sleeping form.

He held his hand out above Draco, and allowed himself to relax. He slipped into his mind easily, and quickly went searching for any information on the pendant. He chose not to dwell on some of the images that flashed past him, although the pain and suffering that went with them felt overwhelming. He found everything he could about the pendant and removed it, but decided to leave the knowledge that Draco thought Harry was a more powerful wizard intact. That may come in handy later. He felt himself growing weary, as he continued to try and move around the darkness that threatened to overwhelm him, and wondered how Draco was coping with it. He snatched up some of the darkness and crushed it, surrounding it with light. He felt Draco relax into more of a deeper, calmer slumber, and smiled to himself. Perhaps his actions would help Draco heal better.

He blinked several times as he pulled away from the peacefully sleeping young man. Hermione came over and twined her arms around his, giving him a little squeeze.

"Alright then?' she asked.

Harry shrugged. "For now. We'll see what happens in the future."

The halls were eerily silent as they made their way back towards the main hall. They reached the top of the stairs and Harry could see McGonagall standing beside the pile of rubble. She looked up as the two of them descended, hand in hand, squeezing around the gaping hole in the staircase. She smiled though teary eyes as she gave Harry a hug.


"Thank-you, Harry," she said, her emotions making her accent more pronounced.

Harry awkwardly hugged her back before stepping past her. He had to see for himself, to make sure that Voldemort was truly dead. He stood over the covered body, waiting, as if he expected him to come to life once more.

He reached down and pulled back the sheet, exposing the battered body. As he stared at the sightless eyes and the face frozen in fear, he felt…pity. This surprised him, since he had expected to feel retribution, satisfaction, or a sense of completion, but not pity. He realized that part of it stemmed from how alike they had both been. Both of them orphaned, living in terrible conditions, and yet, only one had learned to love and be loved. The prophecy had been right; neither can live while the other survives. It had been light against dark, day against night. The night was over, and a new dawn was breaking, bringing hope and light to the world once more.

Hermione wrapped her arms around him from behind, breaking him out of his reverie. He became aware of the hustle and bustle around him, and realized that this hadn't just been a battle between him and Voldemort. There were other loses.

"How many died?" he whispered.

He felt Hermione stiffen, but she didn't answer right away.

"You may as well tell me," he sighed. "I'll find out eventually."

Her voice was low and muffled, but Harry heard every word.

"Professor Trelawney was killed…early, we think. We found her upstairs. She must have surprised the Death Eaters. Colin lost his brother, Dennis, and there were other students that I didn't know as well. They are still searching the castle and the grounds, so not everyone is accounted for yet."

Harry turned in her arms and hugged her. She buried her head in his chest.

"Percy died on the school ground battle. We didn't even know he was here," she choked.

Harry knew that one would hit the family hard, and as much as he hadn't had any use for the man, he felt the sorrow of the loss.

"The others?" he asked.

"Mr. Weasley took a nasty spell at the Ministry, but he's going to make it," she said, but then her voice dropped to a whisper. "Fred is missing."

"What happened?" he asked.

Hermione shrugged.

"George said he saw him chasing down a few Death Eaters and left the Great Hall. That was the last time he saw him. They're searching for him now."

"Remus? Tonks?" he asked. After all that they had been through, they deserved to survive.

"They're fine, a few minor injuries. They are heading up the cleanup crew outside. The battle on the school grounds was just as bad as inside the school. Many of the Ministry's people who came to fight were either injured or died. They kept many of Voldemort's followers at bay. If it hadn't been for them, the fight inside might have been much worse." Hermione said.

"Is everyone in the hall?" Harry asked as he turned to leave.

"Harry," Hermione said, stopping him. "There's one more."

The tears were streaming down her face now, and Harry felt his heart lurch.

"Hagrid…" she whispered, unable to say any more.

Harry felt a jolt in his chest.

"How badly is he hurt?" he whispered.

Hermione looked up, her eyes telling him what she couldn't say with words.

Harry pulled out of her grip and ran to the doorway of the Great Hall, Hermione right behind him. He stopped as he entered the hall, overwhelmed by the number of shroud-covered bodies. He saw Colin sitting beside one, hugging his ever-present camera to his chest, rocking back and forth. He scanned the rows until his eyes fell upon a small crowd around what looked like a miniature hill of white.

Ron looked over at his two friends from where he was standing, and Harry could see the pain and sorrow in his eyes. Harry moved on leaden feet towards the group of mourners. A space cleared for him as he approached, and he could hear the quiet sobs in the background.

"How…" was all he was able to choke out.

"He died a hero," Ron said brokenly. "He was helping the students escape when someone blew up the wall of the castle. He…he couldn't use magic, so he…he used his body to shield the students from the falling rocks. He pushed the last two students out of the way as the largest blocks came down on top of him."

Harry let the tears flow down his face. He didn't even get to say goodbye, just like all of the other important people in his life who had died. The unfairness of it all overwhelmed him. He dropped to his knees and placed a hand on top of his friend. Hagrid was the last connection he had to the beginning of this journey. He had been the first one to introduce him to magic, and had been the one who had always been there for him. Now he was gone, and he hadn't even said thank-you.

While he was kneeling there, he suddenly heard the sweet sound of a phoenix's lament. He let it wash over him, letting the pain go as he looked for Albion. He saw the great bird swoop in and land on Hagrid as he finished his final note. He bowed to Harry.

`Hagrid would not want you to mourn. He would want you to remember the good times. Think of his kindness and friendship, and he will always be in your heart.'

Harry nodded, unable to speak. He would truly miss his big gentle friend; grateful for everything Hagrid had done for him, including introducing him to the Wizarding world.

"We've got him!" George yelled as he came running into the hall, interrupting the small group. "Found him! He's hurt, but he's alive! They've taken him to St. Mungo's."

Ron hugged Ginny in relief.

"Harry," he said, "Do you mind if we pop off to the hospital? If you don't need us?"

Suddenly Harry was exhausted. He didn't want to deal with any more injured, death or dying. He felt Hermione's warm hand in his, and the feeling of peace, of righteousness, made him feel better. There would be time for funerals and grief tomorrow.

"Go ahead," Harry said wearily. "It looks like everything's under control here. I think I've seen enough today."

As Harry and Hermione moved through the rubble and climbed the stairs, Harry was acutely aware of the peace and quiet that seemed to have surrounded the castle. It seemed anticlimactic after such a large battle, and Harry like it this way. He was sure that it wouldn't last, so he decided to enjoy it while he could.

He had come to the end of a long journey, one made more amazing by the person he had become. He was Harry James Potter, fighter, survivor, `and' he thought contentedly with a wry smile as Hermione led him to her room, `The Boy Who Loved.'

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