Thanks guys for the awesome reviews! I was a little worried about it, it was harder than I thought to kill them off, and this chapter was hard, too. But it will get better, don't worry. This will probably be a long one, I'm in no hurry to finish it as of now. Hope you enjoy my farewell fic!
Chapter One
2 months later
Harry sat alone in his den with only one lamp on giving the room a soft glow. The house was quiet and all the kids were in their rooms for the night. He had a bottle of beer that turned lukewarm from lack of sipping. He didn't really want it or need it, but it gave him something to do besides stare into space, trying not to think about that day two months ago.
Had it really only been two months? Since that terrifying moment when he and Hermione rushed to the scene, knocking people out of their way. Had it been two months since he saw a glimpse of Ginny's long ginger hair before the cop moved in his way, holding him back. He was too much in shock to realize that with a flick of his wrist he could have the cop let go in an instance.
He barely heard Hermione, saying Ron's name over and over again to the point where she couldn't breath. He didn't want to hear what the cop was saying over and over again.
"There's nothing you can do…they're gone son…stay back…you need to help her…your friend? She can't breath…she's close to having a panic attack, you need to listen to me."
Harry had looked down to see that Hermione was on her knees, gasping for breath as her skin was sickly white. He shrugged off the hands of the officer, immediately bending down to Hermione and scooped her up off the concrete ground.
"Out of my way, out of my way!"
He had pushed his way out of the crowd, placing her on a nearby bench kneeling in front of her. He put his body on autopilot, and tried to focus on Hermione. She was practically gasping for breath.
"Hermione, I need to look at me," Harry said placing his shaky hands at the sides of her face.
"Ron," she gasped. "Ron…Ginny."
"I know, I know, but you need to take deep breaths for me, can you do that? Look into my eyes…that's it…think of your kids, Hermione…they need us right now…picture them in your head…we need to be strong…just for a little while…just for a little while and then we both can break down…together. That's it…deep breaths, baby, deep breaths. Do you trust me?"
When she could only nod, Harry had discretely murmured a spell and Hermione immediately went limp into his arms. It was hard…so hard to make himself feel numb as he went through all the steps that day. Telling Teddy to go put Nora in her crib and write to the Headmistress and tell her to get their kids to the house as quickly as she could. Then sending his patronus to Kingsley, asking him to hurry to the house so he could ask him to take care of getting Ron and Ginny from the Muggle Morgue.
Jesus, Harry thought now as he closed his eyes. So hard, so damn hard not to crack in front of him. But not as hard as it was when he woke up Hermione, when watching that glint of hope in her eyes when she thought it was a nightmare, then telling her the nightmare was real.
But God, nothing was worse…nothing…when they had to tell the kids. When Harry and Hermione stood in front of them in the den, telling them there was an accident, having to tell them that their mom and dad were badly hurt, that they had to leave us…had to go to heaven.
Lily had ran to him first, tears streaming down her little face as she flew her arms around him, crying for her Mum. Rose and Hugo did the same to Hermione, both of them clinging tightly to her. Over Lily's shoulder, Harry saw Albus still sitting where he was, shock spread over his face while his chin trembled and his eyes filled. Harry didn't say anything but reach out a hand to him and Albus got up shakily and walked over to his waiting arms while his tears started to fall.
And James. Looking so angry, so hurt as he stood their with his arms folded across his chest. Harry had pulled away from Lily and Albus, silently gesturing to Hermione to comfort them.
Harry walked over to his oldest son and placed a hand on his shoulder. He flung it off immediately and ran out of the room and out the backdoor. He gave a painful look at Hermione, before turning and following him out the door. James was sitting on the back porch steps, his shoulders hunched over with his elbows resting on his knees. He sat next to him, waiting for his son to say something first.
"Why weren't you with her?" he asked suddenly looking up at him angrily. "What happened? I want to know what happened."
"We…we were at the bookstore. Hadn't been there long and…and your Uncle Ron wanted to leave…he was…he was hungry, but…your Aunt Mione wasn't ready and…neither was I. Mum was hungry too, so I…I suggested they go on ahead, we'll catch up. It was just around the corner, all they had to walk." Please Merlin, help me get through this, help me say the right thing. "Uncle Ron made a joke…saying his stomach couldn't hold out…Cab's faster, he said and…then they were gone…Your mum barely had the chance to kiss me goodbye before Ron dragged her away. But she was laughing. That was the last time I saw her and my last memory was of her laughing.
James' first sign of tears appeared on his cheek and he angrily brushed them away. "Did she suffer?"
"No," he said quickly as he put an arm around his son bringing him to his side. "No, it was real quick…and she's at peace now, James. You know I've been there once and it's so beautiful, so peaceful…I hope knowing that brings you a little comfort like it does me."
Forgetting that he was a cool sixteen year old, he placed his head on his Dad's shoulder. "I'm going to miss her."
"Me too, James." He kissed the top of his head. "Me too."
Hermione made sleeping draughts for the kids and after putting them to bed, placing Harry's kids in the guest bedroom, did they finally let themselves fall apart. They had cried and cried as they clung to each other until both of them they were emptied out. Tears dried on their cheeks as they held each other on the couch finally falling into sleep where neither of them could hurt.
The last two months went like a blur. Hermione and her kids moved into his house right away. It wasn't the time to be apart and the kids needed each other. They were cramped in there, but no one had complained. James, Albus and Hugo were in one room while Rose bunked with Lily. Nora moved into Albus' old room, since she was so young she need a room to herself for her afternoon naps.
As for Hermione, the only place was Harry's bedroom. It was weird at first having her in the bed with him. Sometimes in the middle of the night he would reach for her, thinking it was Ginny, but then his hand would snap back when he remembered it was Hermione, not his wife. At the same time though, he was glad he wasn't alone. They didn't sleep close, she was way over on the other side, but he could feel her presence and that was comforting enough.
They couldn't live like this much longer. It was fine for now, the kids were off to school in a few weeks, but they had to think of something before they returned for the holidays. He didn't want to split up. The thought of staying in this house while Hermione and her kids moved in her old house was too depressing. They needed a fresh start, a place that would help them all to move on with their lives.
"Harry?"
Harry looked up to see Hermione standing across the room dressed in her pajamas. "Hermione, hey." He sat up and set down his beer on the table. "Is Nora down okay? She was kind of in a bad mood tonight."
"Yes. Her tantrum made her exhausted. She's out. Um, are you coming to bed soon?"
"Oh. Yeah, in a bit…but come sit down." He scooted over and patted the cushion next to him. "I actually liked to talk to you about something."
"All right," she said and shuffled her way towards him.
Harry watched her casually move his beer bottle on top of the coaster he had neglected to use before sitting down and
he had to bite his lip to hide his grin. "How you holding up?" he asked reaching out to rub her arm.
"Okay," she said with a shrug. "I try to keep busy. It helps. What do you want to talk about?"
"Well…I've been doing some thinking. We've been crammed in this house…and it's been exactly what we needed, and the kids…bless them…haven't complained about sharing rooms or bathrooms and…well I thought…"
"You want us to move out?" Hermione asked. "That's okay, I understand…I guess it was only a matter of…"
Harry shook her head. "No, no, that's not what I'm saying," he stammered out quickly as he placed a hand on her leg. "I don't want us to separate, Hermione, that's the last thing I want and the kids want. What I was thinking about was…once the kids go back to school…you and I look for a new place."
Hermione bit her lip in thought. "Really?"
"Yeah, I…I think it would be good for all of us. A new house…a bigger one with more rooms…new furniture…just…something fresh. I was talking to Bill the other day and he told me there's an old abandon Muggle house not for from where he lives. It's by the sea, like their cottage and…course he said it needed a lot of work and…sorry…I'm rambling, do you think this is a stupid idea?"
Hermione shook her head. "No," she murmured. "No, I think it's a great one. By the sea you said?"
"Yeah, I think it will be good for the kids…and for us." He shifted on the couch so he would be facing her more. "Remember our first trip to Bill and Fleur's? During the war?"
She nodded. "Of course."
"I remember how much I loved the sound of the waves crashing below…the sound always put me to sleep…made me feel at peace, even if it was for one tiny moment. I want to do everything I can to make them happen for my kids and yours." He grabbed her hand and held it gently between his. "But listen Hermione, if you don't want this…we'll think of something else…whatever you want to…"
"No, no, I want to do it," she said taking a deep breath. "We need to start moving on with our lives…Oh, god…this is so hard."
His heart crumbled when he saw tears shimmer in her eyes. "I know, Mione," he said taking her face gently into his hands. "We'll get through this, okay? We'll be okay." When she could only nod as she choked back her tears, Harry simply pulled her into his arms, cradling her against his chest.
"Harry?" she whimpered after awhile.
"Hmm?"
"Tell me again."
He didn't have to ask what she meant and he would tell her as many times as he asked her. "When I died…for that short moment…I felt at peace…I felt safe and loved. And when I saw my parents, Sirius…Lupin. They were all smiling…they were in no pain and were happy."
She nuzzled against him as she closed her eyes and took one long shaky breath. "Thank you."
"Anytime," Harry said stroking her hair rocking her slowly until he felt her body melt against his and her breathing began slow and deep. He then cradled her gently into his arms and carried her up to bed.