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Love Lost. Love Found. by Harrys Mistress
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Love Lost. Love Found.

Harrys Mistress

Hey guys! Here is another update! Hate to say it, but this fic is just about coming to an end. It's crazy to think how long I've been writing it! Anyway, hope you enjoy this update! Take care!

~HM

Chapter 31

September came and went in a flash and for Harry…it was a hell of a month. Every day he woke up in Hermione's arms….and if they were lucky, the were able to sneak a few moments together in the shower before Nora woke up.

At work, Harry tried to keep busy since it made the day go faster, and because he wanted to make sure he could leave work on time, so he could spend as much time with Hermione and Nora. On the nights Hermione cooked, he would find them waiting for him in the kitchen. On the nights he cooked or planned to eat out, he usually found them in the playroom or Hermione's office. No matter where it was, they always gave him a fantastic welcome.

During the rest of the evening, he'd find ways to touch her now and then…just to assure him she was actually his now to touch. By the time they got Nora down for the night, they couldn't get to the bedroom fast enough. One time they didn't and he took her fast and desperate against the wall by his room. By the time they did make it to the bed, they had both been spent.

Harry smiled now at the memory as he stood outside his home on a cool day in October. It was Friday and it had been a long day at work and was he was dying to start the weekend with a quick naked tussle with Hermione. This welcome would be different, because Nora was spending the weekend off with Molly and Arthur. Molly had Flooed over the other day asking if they could have her since it had been awhile since she's had her for an entire weekend. Both he and Hermione happily accepted. Although they loved the munchkin, the idea of having another weekend to themselves was too good to pass up.

With a grin, Harry dashed up to the house and stepped across the threshold as he shouted out a greeting. He went straight for the kitchen, knowing she'd be there waiting for him. "Is Nora gone?" he asked urgently as he went straight for her.

She quickly turned from the stove and held up her hands. "Yes, but…"

He swooped her off her feet with one arm, her toes dangling from the floor while she was pressed against her chest. Whatever she was going to say was swallowed by Harry's very urgent and aggressive mouth. If he hadn't been so swamped with need for her, he might have noticed Hermione's slight resistance. If he hadn't been so blind with lust, he might have realized she was slightly pushing her hands against his chest.

"Bloody hell."

Harry dropped Hermione abruptly on her feet as if he had been burned and with wide eyes turned to the owner of the voice he knew so well. "J-James…I…I didn't know you were…"

"What?" James asked angrily when his dad hesitated. "Know I was here? Well…that's a given." He tapped his fingers against his lips in thought. "Something tells me that if you did know I was here, I wouldn't have walked in on my dad sticking his tongue…down Aunt Mione's throat."

Oh, god, Harry thought in a panic as he shared a look with Hermione. Oh, god…this was not good at all. "James…I realize that this is upsetting to you…and I hate it that you found out about us this way, but…"

James shook his head as he let out a sarcastic laugh. "Don't want to hear it, Dad…you lied…Aunt Mione lied…you both lied to all of us."

Tears blurred her vision as Hermione took a step forward. "James…please…I know it may seem like that, but it all happened so fast and…"

"Stop!" he yelled so loudly that Hermione jumped back. "And stop with the tears…they aren't going to work…so just drop the act!"


"Careful, James," Harry said in a soft warning tone. "I know you're upset, but I will not have you raising your voice to her, or…"

"Or you'll, what? Ground me? I'm a legal wizard now, Dad…I can do whatever the hell I want!"

"The bloody hell you can!" Harry bellowed. "I don't care how old you are, James…you're still my son and you will show us both some respect."

"I don't need this," James said angrily and snagged his cloak roughly off the back of the chair he had tossed over. "I'm leaving…feel free to go back to snogging Hermione…don't let me stop you."

"James," he warned as he watched his son head towards the door. "James, come back…" He took off after him when he heard the door opened and barely caught it before it had slammed shut in his face. "Don't you do it!"

James stopped in the middle of the walkway, but didn't say anything and kept his back to him. "Don't you do it," he repeated as he walked down the stoop towards him. "Don't you dare disapparate…do you hear me? You claim to be all grown-up, then act like it…don't run away from this. Running away from this would make you a coward." He paused when James furiously spun around and glared at him. "I didn't raise my son to be a coward…did I?"

Again, James said nothing but kept glaring at him as he breathed heavily. Harry didn't dare move or say anything and Hermione lingered on the stoop anxiously awaiting on what would happen next.

Finally, James turned back around suddenly…but he didn't disapparate. Instead he started heading down to the wooden steps that led to the beach below Harry knew then that he was suppose to follow him…they would talk this out. Father and son. Harry turned back to Hermione and tapped his hands gently in the air as he backed away, silently telling her to calm down…and that it was going to be okay. She gave a little nod of understanding and watched Harry follow James down the steps, before slipping back inside.

Harry slowly took his time down the wooden stairs as he watched James walking towards the surf. He didn't know what he was going to say or what was going to happen, but he knew that they would stay down on the beach until they both worked through this. Hermione was a part of him now…in every way possible…and James, along with the other kids…were going to have to deal with it.

He walked over to James, who was standing at the surf as he gazed out into the ocean. More like, glaring out in the ocean, he corrected when he could see his face. He came up beside him, shoulder to shoulder as he looked out as well while he waited to see who would talk first. He could practically feel the anger and frustration fuming off his son. As the minutes dragged by, he thought maybe he would have to be the one to speak first, but even as he opened his mouth, James was turning to him.

"How long?" he asked roughly. "How long has this been going on behind our backs?"

Harry sighed as he turned his full attention to James. "Look, J…the reason Hermione and I didn't tell you guys right away was…"

"No," he said cutting him off. "I don't want to know why…at least not yet…tell me how long? I want a clear cut answer? Weeks? Months?" He paused for a moment and narrowed his eyes. "Years?"

Harry's whole body flinched back as if he was punched in the face. "Do you honestly think Hermione and I are capable of that?" he asked in disbelief.

When he had seen the hurt that flashed in his father's eyes, he regretted the words immediately after he said them. "No," he finally said as he slumped his shoulders. "I…sorry…I don't know why I said that."

"You said them to hurt me…and mission accomplished."

Guilt swamped him. "Dad, I didn't…"

"Mean it," he finished for him. "Yes…I know." Harry sighed and put a hand on his shoulder. "James…here, let's sit down, okay?" Harry put slight pressure on his shoulder as he led him down on the sand and Harry plopped down next to him. "Before I tell you about Hermione and I…I want to make one thing clear. Your mother and I…"

"Dad, you don't have to say anything…I know you loved her and…"

"Hush…just listen…your mother and I…had problems just like any other married couple had. There were times I felt like I had to work hard to keep her happy and I'm sure she felt the same way. We disagreed on a lot of things, but one thing we had in common was the love we had for you and your siblings. I loved her, James and always will for bringing you, and Albus and Lily into my life.

"When she died…a part of me died with her, James…she was my wife…the mother of my kids. How was I suppose to go on raising our kids without her?" He paused a moment as he tried to find the right words. "Hermione was the only one who knew what I was going through…what I was feeling. You know she and I have always had a tight bond, but this awful tragedy made us even closer."

"So…it happened shortly after mum died?" he asked hesitantly.

"No," he said softly shaking his head. "That's not the kind of close I meant…we comforted each other…talked and helped each other getting through the most difficult year of our lives. On the anniversary of their deaths, Hermione and I wanted nothing more than to hide under a mountain of covers and sleep the day away…but I knew that would have been the easy way out. So…I made a suggestion to Hermione that we finish the day we started on that day…in honor of them.

"So we did…we had lunch at the café we were suppose to eat at…went to a double feature at the movies…and had dinner that night. It was a healing process for us, James…and after that night we both felt like we were ready to move on with our lives. We had even had a discussion about it late that night…Hermione asked if she thought we'd ever be ready to date again…kiss someone else."

"What did you say?" he asked curiously.

"Well…I don't remember the exact words, but I pretty much said it will happen when it's suppose to happen. One day…when we least expect it…someone will come along and…awake something inside us that had been dead the past year. I was right….it just happened to turn out that that someone for me was Hermione and that someone for her…was me."

James sighed as he let everything sink in. The more and more he heard, the less angry he was becoming. Yet, the lying was still an issue…but that would come later. "So…how did it happen? Did it happen slowly…did you guys talk out your feelings…did you have a first date?"

Harry laughed softly at that. "No…we didn't have a first date. It happened quite suddenly actually." He cleared his throat as he shifted uncomfortably. "Er…remember the day I interviewed you?" When he nodded, Harry squirmed again. "Well…afterwards…although I was proud of you, I was really scared…the thought of sending you out on a dangerous mission, doesn't sit well with me."

James gave him a look. "Dad…come on."

Harry held up a finger. "Hey…you don't know…you'll understand when you become a father, okay? But that's another discussion for another day…anyway…I wanted to talk to someone…I wanted to talk to Hermione. My next appointment wasn't for awhile so I popped over to the house and found Hermione in her office.

"She could tell almost right away that something was bothering me." He let out a frustrating sigh. "I could never quite master at fooling Hermione like I can with most people." He shrugged it off. "So…anyway, when I told her I had your interview she knew right away how I felt. She hugged me…comforted me and like always…said the right thing to calm me down. Then…I don't know exactly how it happened, but…we were laughing and teasing each other…then she shifted up to give me a kiss on the cheek and…"


When he paused James gave him a nudge. "And what?"

"I…I don't know. To this day, I don't know why it was that kiss…from so many other harmless kisses on the cheek, why did that kiss change everything? But it did…so many things churned around inside me. Excitement…fear…lust." He laughed when James winced. "Sorry, son…but your dad has needs just like every other healthy male out there."

"I know," he said uncomfortably. "But try not to give me a play by play okay?"

Humor twinkled in his eyes. "I'll try. So anyway…won't go into detail…but we started snogging."

"So that's when it started?"

"Started, yes…and probably would have er…well, you know…but…well…remember when you came over that day?"

James blinked in confusion as he tried to go back to that day, then his eyes went as wide as dinner plates when he remembered a very flushed Aunt Mione coming out of the office. "Oh Merlin…I interrupted you guys?"

Harry gave him a nod. "Afraid so." When James let out an agonizing groan, Harry chuckled. "Actually…it probably was a good thing. Well…not so good, because Hermione was having second thoughts when she came back…just like I knew she would."

"Wait…really?" he gave a narrow look. "So you two didn't…er…"

"Why don't we call it, 'doing laundry'," Harry suggested as he made quotations with his fingers. "Be less awkward…and no…we weren't doing laundry then."

James blew out a breath. "But that's when things started to change between you two?"

"Yes…I knew what I wanted. I wanted Hermione and I knew she felt the same way, but she was hesitant at first for a lot of reasons. One, it might ruin our friendship, which I told her was a copout because nothing could ruin that. Two, she didn't know how you guys would take it. And three…and I think the main reason…was that she was scared. I was scared too, but scared or not, it was something I definitely wanted to explore." He grinned. "And it was kind of fun convincing her to do laundry."

James winced slightly. "Jeez, Dad."

Harry cleared his throat. "Sorry. Anyway, to make an even longer story short…the famous mistletoe incident finally convinced her and…"

"Aw, Dad," he said in disgust. "Please don't tell me you did laundry in the laundry room."

Harry couldn't help but laugh. "No," he said shaking his head while still consumed with laughter. "Jeez, son…of course not. I'm just saying that's when Hermione finally realized that she couldn't deny what was between us any longer."

"Okay…so, why the secret? Why didn't you tell us then?"

"Well…to be honest…at the time…it wasn't really any or your business…now wait," he added when he saw the anger flare back in his face. "Just listen, James, okay?" James gave a little nod, but the anger didn't go away. "Being intimate with Hermione was a whole new thing for me…as it was for her. It was very exciting exploring it with her…and it was something that we needed to do together…alone. Is it your business now? Absolutely, because I know that what's between us…is more than a fling. More than se…er….laundry. James, I loved your mother…I always will…but I ache for Mione. She's my whole world, next to you kids. She's made me happier than I've been in a long time."

"Do you love her?" James asked after a moment of hesitation.

Harry was silent a moment, then looked directly into James' eyes. "Sometimes…when I look at her…love swamps me so hard…so furiously…I think I might pass out from it. I love her, James…and I'm going to keep on loving her for the rest of my life. So…I hope you'll give us your blessing, because we love you. Aunt Mione loves you, Albus and Lily just as much as she does her own kids…you know that, right?"

Emotions stirred inside him as he felt the tears stinging in his eyes. "Yes…I know." He choked back the tears as he put his head down. "I hurt her…I made her cry."

Harry put an arm around him, and brought him close to his side. "She loves you," he repeated. "She hates that you found out about us that way…I do, too…she knows how shocked and upset you were. Why don't we go on up…I'm sure she's pacing the whole house right now."

James nodded as he wiped away the tears and got on his feet and helped his dad get to his own and ended up in his fathers arms. "I'm happy for you, Dad," he said as he returned the hug just as hard. "For both of you."

Harry closed his eyes in relief. "Thank you, James." He pulled back and they both shared a quick grin. "Let's go on up."

XXX

Hermione was pacing in the den, with Boo sitting on the couch as he watched her walk back and forth. When the sound of the door opened, she stopped short holding her breath in anticipation. She saw James walk in first with Harry lingering right behind him and could do nothing but stare at him with tears in her eyes. "James…"

He responded by simply walking over to her and throwing his arms around her in a desperate hug. "I'm sorry," he whispered in her ear.

She let out a soft cry as she returned the hug. "Don't be sorry…it's okay."

"You have my blessing…if he makes you just as happy as you make him…than you definitely have my blessing."

"Oh, James," she said as she gave him one last squeeze, before leaning back and cupping his face with her hands. "Thank you," she said smiling up at him before giving him a kiss on the cheek.

"James…why don't you stay for dinner?" Harry suggested.

"Oh…thanks…I'd love to, but I have plans with Danny tonight. Guys night out thing. Actually…let's sit down for a second…I have some news. It's the reason I came over."

"Everything all right?" Hermione said as she sat on the couch.

"Yes, things are great," he assured her as he picked up Boo so he could sit down and put him in his lap. "You know…Boo is getting kind of fat."

Harry chuckled as he sat on the other side of James. "That he is," he agreed as he scratched Boo's ears. "It's hard to imagine that I was able to fit him in my pocket when I found him."

Boo jumped off James' lap and sauntered away. "Uh-oh, I think we've insulted him," Harry said as he shared a chuckle with James.

"So what did you want to tell us?" Hermione asked.

"Oh…well." Suddenly nervous he wiped his sweaty hands on his jeans. "Um…I've decided that…tomorrow night I'm going to ask Sammy to marry me."

Hermione let out a exciting gasp as she clapped her hands together. "Oh James, really?" When he nodded sheepishly she pulled him in to another hug. "That's wonderful!"

James let out a laugh. "Thanks…I think so."

"You couldn't have picked a better girl to add to our family," Harry said giving him a hug when Hermione finally released him. "Congratulations…I'm really happy for you."

"Thanks."

"Actually…stay here a sec," Harry said standing up. "I'll be right back."

"Okay," he said slightly confused then looked at Hermione when he left. "Do you know what he's doing?"

She shrugged. "Haven't the slightest."

"Okay," Harry said as he sat back down. "Now…I don't want to pressure you or anything…but I wanted to give you the option."

James nodded. "Okay," he said and waited for him to say something. Instead he held out a opened black velvet box with a diamond ring nestled inside. His heart lurched in his throat when he recognized it. "Mum's ring."

"Yes…now, you don't have to take it…if you already got the ring or want to buy something new, I understand. But like I said, I wanted to give you the option."

"Dad," he said softly, completely dumbstruck. "I can't believe it…yes…of course, I'll take it. It's perfect."

"I think your Mum would be very happy," he said as he gave him the box. "She always did adore Samantha."

Overwhelmed, he gave his father another hug. "Thanks, Dad."

"Anytime…I'm so proud of you."

"Thanks."

When James heard the sniffles from behind him he turned around to see Hermione sobbing like a baby. "Oh don't mind me," she cried as she wiped her nose. "Just having a little happy cry over here."

James let out a laugh. "Aunt Mione," he said in a teasing voice as he pulled her in for a hug. "I love you."

"Don't get me started again," she said with a shaky laugh. "I love you, too." She leaned back and admired the ring. "Its so sweet…using your Mother's ring. Ginny would love it. And so will Samantha."

"I sure hope so," he said practically beaming. "Well…I guess I can tell Danny we can actually spend the guys night out, doing guys stuff. He was going to help me pick out a ring tonight."

"Why don't you guys go to the Corner Bar?" Harry suggested. "Have a few pints for me."

"Maybe we'll do that," James said and then got to his feet. "I better get going, though." He let out an exhausting sigh. "Before we all get emotional again."

Harry and Hermione walked him to the door to tell him goodbye. They watched him walk down the stoop but stopped and turned back around. "Just out of curiosity…when were you planning to tell everyone else?"

"Well….they don't come home till Christmas," Harry said. "But…we'll probably find a way to tell them sooner."

He gave them a nod of approval. "Good," he said with a grin. "I'll see you two lovebirds later."

Harry and Hermione laughed and James gave them a wink before he disapparated. As soon as he was gone, Hermione immediately turned to Harry and he welcomed her with open arms. "Oh, Harry," she said softly, emotion swirling up inside her.

"I know," he said in understanding. "Everything is okay, now…James and I had a good long talk."

She let out a shaky breath. "We can't go through that again…we have to tell the others…and soon."

"We will," he assured her and then tilted her chin up for a kiss. "Soon." He kissed her again. "But for now…let's enjoy our weekend." He bent his knees slightly to lift her off the wooden floor of the stoop. "Starting now."

Hermione smiled as she placed a hand on his cheek while he carried her inside. "Starting now," she agreed before covering his mouth with hers.

Harry wanted to tell her he loved her right then and there, but managed to hold back The timing wasn't quite right for him. He was waiting for the right moment to tell her how he felt. He didn't know when that would be, but he knew it would happen when it felt right to him. The moment would be perfect when he finally told her that his heart belonged to her…and no one else.