I own nothing.
At the end of this chapter, James is pissed off. And he isn't going to be the nice, noble Head boy we all know and love. He's going to be a normal seventeen year old boy-who feels betrayed. I hope he doesn't shock you.
**
Chapter 13: Circles
[Greener with the Scenery, by The Used]
January 1, 1978
The wind stopped blowing and everything settled into its normal peaceful state as James, Lily, Sirius, Remus, and Peter appeared back in the present. James carefully drew his wand away from Lily's forehead and put it in the pocket of his robes.
"I should slap you," Lily said quietly to Sirius, her voice full of contained rage. Remus and Peter quickly backed up and Sirius put down his wand.
"You could," he said, "but I still want to know what the fuck you and my best friend did while I wasn't here."
Lily stepped closer to Sirius and James finally backed up.
"Go away," Lily whispered without turning her head. "All three of you. Leave."
Remus motioned to Peter and James. Against his better judgment, James turned and followed his friend up to the castle, sick with worry. Lily would surely kill Sirius.
"You shouldn't have-"
"I know, Peter," James snapped. "Shut the fuck up!"
Peter went silent and James saw Remus give him a sideways glance.
"Is something wrong, Remus?" James said politely but snidely.
"No," Remus said quietly. "Except that this is serious. Padfoot isn't going to get over this in a few days. Or even weeks."
James sighed. "Do you think I don't know that, Moony?" He ran his hand over his face. "This is all wrong. She wasn't supposed to find out like this."
They walked in silence until they reached the portrait. Peter gave the password (Romaine lettuce) and walked in. James made to follow him, but Remus grabbed his shoulder and pulled him back out. The portrait closed and the Fat Lady looked at them curiously.
"What did you do? He wouldn't tell us but he was so hacked off-"
"I didn't do anything, Moony! She put my hands up her shirt. It isn't my fault that I couldn't help myself. You know I've got feelings for Lily. You know."
"Well I'm sorry I couldn't keep my bloody mouth shut," spat Remus, "but you need to understand that Padfoot was seriously hurt by this. He did care for Lily. He didn't love her, but he cared for her more than any other girl he-"
"Don't you dare tell me how hurt Padfoot is by this! He knew. He tried to deny it but he knew that I was in-bloody-fatuated with her!"
"You always told us you weren't!"
"Well he should've known! He's always known! I don't expect you or Peter to but Sirius-Padfoot is my best friend-you and Peter-we wouldn't have even-we-"
"I know I've always come second to you, Prongs, but-"
"Well then stop acting as if you're my brother! You aren't! You aren't half-I can't-" All the frustration was pouring out of him, and the only person to attack was Remus, Remus who had never done anything to him, who had never been anything but himself. "We only learned how to transform because we felt sorry for you!"
The words slipped out before he could stop them, before he could temper them.
Remus opened his mouth to say something but he paled and stepped back from James as if he had been struck. James felt as if cold water had been poured over him as he saw Remus's expression.
If there was one thing Remus hated, it was pity.
"No. Wait, Remus. I don't want to make a rift between us because of a girl." James was backpedaling furiously, but there was nothing for it.
Remus shook his head and swallowed audibly.
James put out a hand but Remus recoiled. "Don't touch me," he rasped.
Remus turned and walked briskly down the hall. He bumped into Sirius at the corner, but Sirius just shoved past him and continued towards the portrait. He didn't pause when he saw James and just continued past him into the common room. James opened his mouth to call after his best friend, but stopped himself.
As quickly as his anger had risen, it quelled. His chest ached and he felt as if he was suffocating. He felt strangely hollow, as if something was missing.
Something was missing.
The bond between the Marauders had finally-inevitably, because in James's world nothing lasted-been broken.
**
January 20, 1978
It had been nineteen days. Nineteen. It was an insanely large amount.
None of them had spoken to each other. Sirius was holed up in the dormitory, James was sleeping in the Heads' rooms, Peter had been sleeping in the Gryffindor common room, and Remus was sleeping in the Shrieking Shack.
And Lily…
Well, suffice to say, James and Lily had reverted their old selves, and couldn't talk to each other without biting the other's head off. James knew their sudden animosity towards each other had startled their peers, especially the prefects and the Quidditch team, who had to spend a lot of time in their mutual presence.
The worst though, were the classes in Ancient magic. Their numbers had dwindled greatly, for it seemed that everyone in the class had not had enough magic to actually work with, as Patel had said. The only people left were James, Lily, and Maria. Maria only heightened the sense of tension that followed James and Lily, and most of the explosions from the two had occurred in the amphitheatre.
McGonagall had already spoken to James about their class disruptions, and James had come up with a plan. Since Lily wouldn't talk to him-he would avoid her.
So far, it wasn't working. Everywhere he went, she went. It was driving James mad, and he had no one to vent to.
Then again, he hadn't had anyone to vent to about Lily since Sirius had become her boyfriend. But this was different. It was different because he wouldn't even have the option of talking to any of his friends.
And James wanted to know the extent of the damage. He wanted to know how badly the bond between he and his friends had been broken.
This was why he ended up reading one of his books on Ancient Magic during History of Magic while he sat in the back. Half the class was asleep, including Sirius. James, Sirius, Lily, Remus, and Peter all sat in a sort of warped square, and no one noticed James's concentration on his History book, which was really called Healing: A Look Into Rarity.
Fundamentals
Most Empathic Healers posses some of the gifts on their branch, although not all do. The most commonly found Healing gifts are Inspirational and Amoratical magic. Linking is slightly rarer, and the rarest gift on the Empathic Healing branch is Soul-searchery.
Of course, a Full Empath, and therefore a Full Healer, is the rarest gift of the entire branch.
James was a Full Empath. Just barely, Patel had told him. He had next to no magic of Soul-searching, but he was very strong in both Linking and Inspiration. He had more Amoratical power than he did Soul-searchery, but not too much more. Enough to cast enchantments over women, Patel had said.
James flipped through the chapters until he came upon the one about Linking. He felt eyes upon him and looked up. Lily was staring at him, her brow furrowed, no doubt wondering what he was doing holding a book. She had probably seen him touch a book once, or, if she was lucky, twice.
James met her gaze fiercely and Lily tossed her head, looking away from him. She was just too damn proud.
James turned his eyes back to his book and flipped through the pages until he came across a section that actually told him how to perceive Links.
Close your eyes and think very carefully about the Links you want to see between which people. Picture these people in you mind, focusing on their personalities. Breathe deeply through your nose and straighten you spine so that the magic can flow freely up from your diaphragm. Listen to every sound you can hear and every smell you can detect. Open your eyes slowly and continue to breathe deeply. You should see the Links that have been made between the people you have thought of…
James didn't read the part about creating Links. He closed his eyes and began to breathe as the book had told him to, sitting up even straighter than he normally did. He thought of his friends, and, of course, of Lily.
He could hear the sound of light snoring, of Binns droning on, of quills scratching on parchment and deep breathing. He could hear the wind against the windows. He could faintly smell the different perfumes used by Clara Danes and Lily. He could especially detect Lily's, which smelled like apples. He could smell sugar quills, lemon flavored, and he could smell the musty scent on old books.
Slowly, he opened his eyes, and bit back a gasp.
He could see dark, deep purple thread connecting him and his three best friends. It was a thick thread, more like a rope, and when he looked down, it was attached to his heart. He reached a hand out to touch it but pulled it back instead. He could see bright gold shining underneath the purple than connected him to Sirius, and silver in his and Sirius's connections to Remus. There was only purple between the three of them and Peter.
He turned his attention to his Link with Sirius. All the other colors and Links faded into the background. He frowned and tried to look at Remus's link, and the other's faded. Interesting, he thought.
Between James and Sirius the thread was frayed, frayed so badly patches of gold were shining through, but the gold looked tarnished with black. Close to Sirius's heart was where the most damage was, and in the center only a small thread connected the two halves of the Link. Between James and Remus there was a long line of silver showing, and blackness covered almost all of the exposed light. The rope was not as badly frayed as James's and Sirius's connection, but the damage was there, and there were just as few threads connecting the center of the Link.
James turned his attention to the Links between Sirius and Lily. It was a dark red connection, spotted with black and shot through with tiny wisps of blue. The line was smooth, only frayed in some places. There were thin, fragile lines connecting Peter and Remus with Lily, and both were yellow.
James swallowed and looked at his own Link to Lily.
He threw his hand over his eyes and stifled a cry. The Link shone brightly with gold, red, and, most prominently, blue. The colors-aside from the gold-were dull and muted, as if someone had placed a screen over them. It was as thick as both his arms put together, and attached right at the center of his heart, and the center of Lily's. He reached his hand out and touched the Link gently, feeling its warmth suffuse him with light and pure good.
He was breathing harshly now and people were staring at him, a small part of his mind noted, but he paid them no mind. He closed his finger around the Link and gave it a tug downwards, looking up at the same moment and locking eyes with Lily.
She let out a sharp cry and jumped out of her chair. Binns finally stopped his lecture and everyone looked at Lily. Her cry broke James's concentration and he gasped, sucking his breath in through his teeth. He was shaking. The pull he had felt had been phenomenal and his heart felt so bruised it ached.
"Miss Elmwood, are you alright?"
Lily didn't answer. She was glaring at James. "What the fuck did you just do?" she growled.
"Miss Elmwood?"
"Evans. Miss Evans."
"Yes, yes. Do you need to go to the hospital wing, Miss Yevans?"
Lily tore her eyes from James's and shook her head. "No. I-I'll be fine."
Binns nodded and continued on with his lecture. James looked down at his book and kept his eyes there for the rest of the lesson. He made sure he was the first to leave the room and walked quickly to the Heads' room, where all his belongings were.
There was one thing James had not deigned to share with Lily about the Heads' rooms, and that was that there were bedrooms leading off the common rooms. James had discovered this purely by accident, when he had one day leaned against the wall in a certain position. He had fallen through the wall and into a bedroom that was decorated much like his dormitory, although the bed was two times the size of his dorm bed. He had opened the door on the side wall and it had revealed another bedroom.
Now, James began to pull of his things into the bedroom. He had just dropped his bag on the floor when he heard the first screams.
He flew to the window and looked out across the grounds, over the Quidditch pitch and past the forest. He could see smoke billowing up from the village of Hogsmeade, could hear screams rising in the wintry air. He turned in a flurry of robes and left the bedroom.
Lily was just entering the Heads' common room, out of breath and with an ashen face. Wordlessly, she took his wrist and pulled him quickly through the portrait hole, through the lounge, out to the loud halls of Hogwarts, where pandemonium had taken hold. Only half the people seemed to know what was going on. He saw people running around and telling each other that the village was under attack.
Lily had pulled him into the entrance hall just as McGonagall's voice, eerie and disembodied, blared out through the halls, commanding everyone to go into the Great Hall. Lily hesitated before changing direction and leading him into the hall.
Gradually, all the students had entered the room. Lily let go of James's wrist quickly, and the two of them, avoiding each other's gaze, went to stand near Dumbledore and McGonagall at the front of the room.
"QUIET!" McGonagall yelled. Half the Hall quieted.
"BE SILENT!" Dumbledore roared, and total silence reigned in the room. Dumbledore looked, for the first time ever, very worried.
"Hogsmeade is under attack by Dementors." He paused and let these words sink in. "It is likely that Voldemort himself will join the battle. I ask-" He paused again and looked about the room. "I ask you to help at the end, those of you who are able. All those of you in sixth and seventh year. We will need help to clean up the village."
Immediately, all the seventh year Hufflepuffs stood up, and half of the sixth years. A large group of Ravenclaws stood and Remus and Sirius stepped forward. Peter was only a pace behind. Several sixth year Gryffindors joined the line, including Maria Danes. To James's surprise, a handful of Slytherins joined the line, and James eyes them warily.
An array of forty or so students stood before Dumbledore now, and the Headmaster nodded.
"Your Head Boy and Girl shall lead your mission. We will call for you when it is time. Until I myself or Professor McGonagall deems it safe, no student is to leave this room, under any circumstances. In the event of the battle leading into the night, suitable means to sleep will appear. I leave you in the care of Professor Patel and your Head students. Take care, all of you."
James watched in awe as Dumbledore walked out of the room, his back straight and dignity gathering about him. Then energy in the air around his was palpable.
The doors shut behind the Headmaster with a slam, and all was quiet for a long time.
**
They were called shortly after dawn the next morning. The sixth and seventh year students walked briskly down to the village, which was in total ruin. Storefronts had been blasted to bits, doors were hanging off hinges, and walls were still burning. The smell of charred flesh hung in the air.
James fought the urge to be sick. Bodies lay strewn across the ground and soot covered the ground. McGonagall walked up to their party.
"Divide them. A fourth to damage control on the buildings, a fourth to helping the wounded, a fourth to making sure there aren't any of the enemy left, and the rest to…to help with the bodies. Tell anyone that completes their task to join another group. I'll be over at the Three Broomsticks with the Headmaster." McGonagall eyed him and Lily. "Now we'll see if we made the right choice."
James felt guilt rise in him. Dumbledore had overlooked all of his misdemeanors and mischievous antics to give him the Head Boy badge, and he repaid it by acting like a spoiled child.
"Yes, Professor," he said quietly. McGonagall nodded to him and walked up the High Street to the pub, where people were departing to St. Mungo's.
James cleared his throat and turned to the people surrounding him. After a head count he determined that there were forty-two people in all. "Alright," he rasped. "Alright," he said again, more clearly this time. "Count off by fours!"
Everyone counted off and James realized with a start that he hadn't counted himself for Lily, so there were forty-four people. He hesitated before stepping up to the group that was to deal with the dead bodies. Lily did not look at him as she stepped into the group that was to make sure there wasn't any enemy left.
"Okay!" she yelled over the din. "Get going!"
They broke off into groups. James walked hesitantly forward and realized that the rest of the group was going to follow him. He frowned in disapproval. He was no braver than they were.
There was no way to tell who was wounded and who was dead, so thick was the layer of bodies on the ground.
People came to help. People from the Ministry-they're all dead, James realized.
He shut his eyes and breathed deeply, just as his book had told him to. He thought briefly of the instructions in the book, the ones that told him how to look at auras. He opened his eyes and blinked to adjust his vision as brightness assailed him. The people standing were shining brightly, or maybe it was bright compared to the people on the ground, who had no auras whatsoever aside from a pearly white shimmer about their skin. There and again there was a shimmer of weak color from a living person.
"Okay," he heard himself say. He put out his wand. "Faxio!"
A red X was now branded across the chest of every dead person. It was a sea of red. James again fought nausea.
"How did you do that?"
James's concentration broke at the sound of Sirius's voice and the auras disappeared. The X's remained.
"The Branding Hex. It's a sixth year hex, Sirius."
"I know. But how did you who's dead and who isn't?"
James shrugged. "I just did."
Sirius snorted and turned to the village. "Fine."
James felt a twinge of guilt but ignored it. He felt a hand on his shoulder and he turned, half-expecting Lily.
It was Maria. Her face was paler than he'd ever seen it. "Please don't make me do this, James."
James opened his mouth to rebuke her-tell her that it didn't matter if she was scared, since they were all scared-but couldn't. "Trade yourself with Remus," he said softly, jerking his head towards the pale boy, who was futilely trying to rebuild a section of wall on a building.
Maria nodded her thanks and walked unsteadily over to Remus, who listened carefully before looking knowingly at James and nodding to her.
James turned away from them and began to levitate bodies to a section someone in the group had prepared for the dead. The work was tedious, because he had to make sure that each person was, in fact, dead, in case his magic had been faulty, as it likely had been. He worked his way across the field, making sure not to look at any of the faces of the dead. If he did such a thing, he would never be able to put them into the pit where they would be nameless.
****
The sun had come all the way up when James came upon the first live person. It was a little boy, and he was not marked with an X, but James knelt beside him just the same.
The little boy rasped. He clearly couldn't talk. James tried to lift him but the child slipped; his back was slippery. James carefully put the boy into a sitting position and looked at his back.
He let out a shout and recoiled.
The back of the boy's head had been blown partially off.
"Oh Merlin-holy fuck."
The boy began to twitch. His high, keening cries filled the air. Shakily, James pointed his wand at the child and whispered one word.
"Somnus."
The boy instantly fell asleep, and after a moment he ceased breathing at all. James picked the child up himself and walked across the field to the pit. He placed the child inside gently and ran a hand over the child's peaceful face.
He gasped as his fingers left a large amount of blood on the boy's face.
****
Twenty minutes later he still stood near the pit for the dead.
"Enough of this," Lily said darkly, and he turned to face her.
"Of-of what?"
"Of all of this," Lily said pointedly. "You can't do this. You don't have the heart for it."
"Stop it, Lily. I can do this."
"James-"
"Don't try to protect me. I'm not some little first year."
"James-" she tried again.
"I just killed a boy, Lily," James said harshly. "I killed him."
Lily drew in a sharp breath and stared at him, transfixed. "Why?"
"He was-he was crying in pain-he wouldn't have survived. His aura was almost gone-"
James started. He hadn't even realized he'd seen the boy's aura. He looked closely at Lily, but he saw nothing.
"A mercy killing then," Lily said faintly.
"You could call it that," James snapped, his vigor back.
"I'm so sorry," Lily said quietly, reaching a hand out. He held his own hand up to arrest her but caught her wrist instead and brought it to his cheek. They stood there-her palm cupping his cheek, his hand clasping her wrist-for a long time, until a throat clearing behind Lily startled them.
James met Sirius's eyes and guiltily drew his hand away from Lily. She trailed her hand down his cheek and let it fall to the side of her body, turning to face the other boy.
"While you've been standing here dallying with the Head Girl, Potter, we've finished with the dead. What do you want us to do now?"
It was then that James saw his ten group-mates behind Sirius, trying not to look at either him or Lily.
"Er-count off and divide into the other groups."
They did so and dispersed, Sirius without so much a glance in James's direction.
"I wish he'd talk to you," Lily said wistfully. "You're souls will darken if you don't fix this mess."
James didn't think twice about her strange comment. He shrugged her off. "Get back to work," he said gruffly, turning from her so as not to see her stricken face and joining a group-any group-a group that was managing the reconstruction. He worked along his peers and with people he didn't know-people who had come to help.
Help. What a misleading word.
Help was nothing here. There was nothing anyone could do for the dead, for the children and the women and the men.
He heard the scream a scant hour later. The cold had set in, stealing through his cloak and settling against his skin. He felt dizzy, looking at task ahead of him. It was past noon by now, and the shadows lay long at the base of every object and person.
It was a familiar scream, one he heard in his nightmares sometimes, screaming his name in fear and desperation. Sometimes an image of a redhead kneeling above him and singing in a whisper would follow, soothing the pain, but not nearly often enough.
He looked up and saw that only a dozen yards away stood Lily, and a Dementor was gliding towards her. The sky had darkened considerably. James heard the scream again, and realized it was his mother's, and was in his mind. The Dementor was affecting him.
Lily was chanting, chanting the spell for a Patronus wildly. The Dementor closed in and people stopped to watch. James wondered why they didn't do anything.
He felt himself draw his wand. It was going to hurt Lily. It would suck out her soul. Her green eyes wouldn't hold nay recognition of him, and it would be this creature's fault.
"AVADA KEDAVRA!" he shouted, thoughtlessly. The light hit the Dementor square in the chest and the robed figure paused and absorbed the green jet of light. James looked at his wand in horror as people began to whisper. He saw someone start forward and draw his wand.
"Expecto Patronum!" James shouted the appropriate charm and the unicorn burst from his wand. People gasped and the Dementor recoiled. It began to glide away. No one made a move to stop it. Lily turned her gaze to James and stared at him fearfully.
So was that it, then? Was she afraid of him?
He didn't find out, as it was. They broke for lunch and he lost her in the crowd.
**
January 31, 1978
So the weeks passed. Sirius's birthday passed without event and, without any presents from his fellow Marauders.
It was the last day of January, and James skipped dinner to go back to the Heads' room. He entered his bedroom and looked out at the grounds, very restless. He could hear voices coming up from the ground but he ignored them, instead opting to finish his homework. He had two essays to write and three practical explanations.
Two hours later he set down his quill and set aside all his parchment. He stretched and rolled his neck around, trying to get out the kinks. What he really needed was a massage, but the only person who would give one to him was Maria-and Maria would find some way to make him shag her-
James's head snapped up.
Of course. It's brilliant.
Maria was an Amoris.
It made perfect sense. How she had been so good, better than Amy by half. By more than half. In fact-she had been amazing to shag. It was part of the reason he had enjoyed it so much.
It also explained why she no longer had any effect on him. As soon as he started working on his own powers-which included Amoratical magic, he could counter her enchantments. It was brilliant.
And so, naturally, it made him angry. It made him furious.
He knew it had been free will. She couldn't be all that powerful, or he would have given in a long time ago. It had been his own free will after they'd gotten into a bed, but she had taken him there-she had made him want her in the first place.
He felt sick, being controlled like that.
He jumped up from his chair and left the bedroom, went through the common room and the lounge. He traveled through the cold halls, taking the familiar path to Gryffindor Tower. He was going to yell at Maria until she apologized-until she promised to never used her powers for such a terrible purpose again-
"If you'll just listen to me!"
James stopped. That was Sirius.
"We've been through this."
That was Lily.
"Just-meet me at the astronomy tower-"
"No, Sirius! I'm not going to-"
"Tomorrow morning. At dawn."
James could sense Lily faltering.
"All right."
James sensed the conversation drawing to a close. He felt odd-his entire body was tingling-he felt-
Explored. Somebody was watching him.
He looked around quickly but didn't see anyone.
"You have to make up with James for me, though." Lily's voice held a strange note to it-a knowing tone.
"I won't. Bloody bastard-"
"He isn't," Lily said, her voice surprisingly gentle. "It was all my fault. I told you that."
"You told me a lot of things, Lily," Sirius said darkly.
"And they were true. James is just being stupid."
James jumped. What the hell was this? Why was Lily taking to Sirius about-
"He tried to kill a Dementor for you," Sirius said softly, regretfully. "I wouldn't have-I couldn't have hated it that much-"
"I know he did. He scared me-but it made me feel safe."
Bloody hell. It hit James like a hippogriff landing on the ground. She knew.
She knew he was out here-somehow she could sense him. Either he was reaching out to her with his powers-or she was using her own.
Which meant she had to have something on the healing branch.
And this was her way of apologizing-and her way of telling him she thought he was wrong. She had no other way to tell him she was sorry-sorry for what, he didn't know. But she was sorry-and he wasn't going to accept her apology so easily. She couldn't even apologize to his face-she had to use Sirius and magic to do it. How cowardly. And she was the one in the wrong-not him.
He was getting rather annoyed with girls using their powers to manipulate him. He just had to pick two volatile girls who possessed ancient magic.
James began to walk away. He left Sirius and Lily in their empty classroom-left her apology behind-and went to find Maria. He was going to stick to the original plan.
"James?"
Somehow Lily was standing in front of him. He'd been walking slower than he thought.
"Yes?"
"You heard that, didn't you?"
"Of course I did. You know I did."
She shrugged. "I'm trying to say I'm sorry, James. But you have to admit you're wrong too."
"But I'm not."
"Of course you are. You placed a bet-"
"Well that was before, Lily. All right? It was before!"
Lily frowned. "Before what, exactly?"
"Before I knew you-before I had anything to prove-before I grew up!"
"James-"
"Go on, Lily. Admit. Do you care more that I had something to do with it? Do you care about my involvement more than Sirius's involvement?"
He had been bluffing, and he wasn't prepared for her face to go pale. He hadn't meant to be right.
"You're still a prat, James," she said tearfully. "You're still a prat!"
She left him then, walking down the hall in the opposite direction from the tower, and he went to Gryffindor Tower, seething.
He gave the password to the Fat Lady, walked through the bustling common room, ignored all the stairs he got, and stood at the bottom off the girls' staircase. He waited until people stopped staring at him before discreetly tapping the third brick from the floor with his foot three times. He began to walk up the stairs to the girls' dormitory.
He stopped outside the sixth year dormitory and opened the door. There were a large number of girls in the sixth year-twelve in all-and the room had been magically expanded. All of the girls were-to put it mildly-tarts. He had seen all of them down in the common room aside from Maria, and he doubted they would be coming up anytime soon.
"James?"
Maria was standing in front of the window with her dressing gown on.
James stepped forward and swallowed. He didn't want to yell at her. She looked deceptively innocent.
"James?" she repeated.
"How long have you known you're an Amoris?" he rasped.
Her eyes went wide and she stepped back.
"How long?"
"Last year. I've know since the beginning of last year."
"So you've used me all along? You didn't use me like I used you-you literally used me for some bloody experiment?"
"No! I-"
"Are men toys to you, Maria? I know you went home with Foibles over the holiday. Did you enchant him too?"
"No!"
"I've figured it out Maria. This is why I couldn't stay away-isn't that right? You just wanted to shag me as much as you could-use me as a bloody trophy-"
He took two steps closer to her and she backed up in fear. All the anger left him. Fear-he hated to see fear in a woman's eyes.
"It was just a game, James. It was only a game. You were-you were the best in bed. No-don't turn away from me." She put her hand to his cheek and he stared down at her coldly. "You were the best."
Because I'm an Amoris too! He wanted to shout. But he didn't.
"No, James. Things are different now. I've learned to actually use my powers-"
James snorted.
"-wisely. Go on. I'm not enchanting you, am I?"
She wasn't. She wasn't even trying. But she wanted to. She wanted him badly, and he knew it.
"You still want me to fuck you though, don't you?" he asked, point-blank, his crude language slipping through before he could think.
"What do you think I am, James?" Maria snapped, taking her hand from his cheek. "I saw those bodies too-I'm just as affected as you are! I saw you try to kill that Dementor-kill it, even though you know the Killing Curse doesn't work. You're in love with Lily-"
"I am not!" James said heatedly.
"Of course you bloody are! I'm not going to be your little puppet so you can try and forget her."
James pinned her against the wall and kissed her, hard. He knew he was hurting her and he pressed himself against her, rocking his hips against hers.
A moan escaped from her lips and he sucked in his breath. It had been so long since he'd had a way to release the pressure-take Lily off his mind-
No, don't think of her. Cowardly, remember?
"Does this feel like I'm in love with Lily?" he growled against her mouth, jerking his pelvis against her. This was why he kept coming back to Maria-the sheer, animalistic heat she evoked in him.
Mutely, she shook her head, finding his lips again. She pushed him towards the bed and they fell on it; he raised himself above her.
Take that, Lily, James thought, as he pulled off Maria's nightgown and put out the lights with a sweep of his hand.
**