I own nothing.
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Chapter 30: Hands in Everything
[Slow Hands, by Interpol]
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March 31, 1980
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Lily's hand rested on her swollen stomach as she sat curled up in her living room with a book, staring out at the drizzling spring day outside. She had fallen to daydreams some twenty minutes before, and for some reason could not stop thinking about Hogwarts.
Lily was finding that her memories from her alma mater were oddly fractured, as if large blocks of time had been vanished away by one of James's best spells. It wasn't as though she couldn't remember things-they were just hazy, indistinct, as if for some reason, the rain outside had ventured into her mind and was obscuring her perspective.
She felt weak, listless, as if she hadn't eaten enough and was about to collapse. It might have been the day-today, Lily was five months pregnant, and that was the month she had lost her baby in before, last year. She had not mentioned this strange, overwhelming feeling to James, who had enough going on with his mysterious job in the Ministry, the specifics of which he could only describe minimally.
She looked over the clock; he should have been home by now. As if on cue, flames suddenly erupted in the fireplace and James stumbled out, couching wildly. He put his hand on one of the armchairs to steady himself and then straightened, sending Lily a dazzling smile. He came over to her chair.
"Budge up," he ordered, and Lily shook her head. James bore down on her and Lily shrieked, laughing as she shifted to give him room. They sat sideways in the large chair, James's hands wrapped around her middle and his hands on her belly. He rested his chin on her shoulder and yawned, his warm breath coming out in a rush against her neck. Lily shuddered and giggled when he kissed her skin lightly, keeping his mouth there.
"How was work?"
"Fine."
"Do anything exciting?"
"Hundreds of things I'm never going to tell you," he deadpanned.
"Yes, yes-confidential," Lily grumbled, leaning fully against him and feeling ready to take a nap. Some of her lethargy had disappeared now that James was here. She tipped her head back and shut her eyes, letting her book fall to the floor.
"You going to pick that up?"
"Nope," Lily replied, yawning. James bit her lightly behind her ear and then kissed the spot, groaning.
"Alright then. I saw Remus today." James sighed. "He's not doing very well."
The last time they had seen Remus had been on Valentine's Day. Lily had owled him five times since and had received no reply. It was rather daunting, but Lily knew the only way Remus would ever get out of his Maria-induced slump would be if he was surrounded by people. People, unfortunately for Remus, were either confined to their houses because they were pregnant, hiding a secretive job from their wife, acting as if they were four years old, and just not showing up, period. Looked at from an outside perspective, Remus had the worst friends in the world.
"What's wrong with him?" she asked quietly, already composing a note in her mind.
"No one will hire him-he's just gone through the full moon and I couldn't be there, so it was just him and Sirius and Peter; he'd just seen Snape and Malfoy in the Ministry and they made some obnoxious comments-did you know Lucius Malfoy had a son? Bloody insane, him procreating, and Remus-he's still angry at Maria and more than a little hurt, you'd say-on top of that, he's hard up for money and he won't take any from me. I don't know what he's going to do, Lily. These-these stupid people won't give him the time of day because he's a werewolf-it's ridiculous. It's insane. It makes me so sick…" He trailed off and hugged her a little tighter.
"Not good times for him to live in alone," Lily whispered, her eyes fixed on the drizzle outside.
"No, it's not good for him to be alone. He's been stuck in this…this dead mood for so long, since before Christmas: it's like a perpetual winter for him. Remus hates winter. What'll he do if…if they decided that werewolves are too much of a liability? What happens then, Lily?"
Lily bit her lip. "I don't know, James. But…"
"But what?"
Lily turned and saw that his brow was furrowed; a thin line had appeared in the middle of his forehead, giving away the fact that all was not well in the mind of James Potter. She turned back to the window, to the slushy day that was more cold than warm, and sighed once more.
"What, Lily?"
"Spring is coming," she whispered.
There was a long silence, and then she felt James nod. "Right. Spring's coming. Almost here."
She nodded too. For just that one moment, she thought about the loveliness of rain, and her worries receded for a short time. She felt James relax and shut her eyes.
"Dinner?" he muttered.
With a sharp pang, Lily remembered how he would say that to her back at Hogwarts, ready and gleeful to be getting food. "Dinner!?" he's ask brightly, as if it was the best thing in the world. How far they had traveled since then, to this time where he sounded so defeated when talking about food! Lily had never really appreciated change, and James was her constant. If he changed anymore, what was she to do?
He played with her hair and kissed her neck again before pressing his hands against her hips and rising to the kitchen. After a few moments, Lily heard something explode, and with a soft smile, she though that just maybe, he hadn't changed so much after all. Maybe there was a little of the old sixteen year old James Potter in whom he was today, and she just had to dig a little deeper to bring it out, to bring to life the wonderful boy whom she had first fallen in love with.
A strange feeling in her stomach startled her. Her hand flew to her belly and she felt it again, like she had just been tickled from the inside of her body. She still wasn't used to the feeling of the baby kicking, even though she had felt it often. James thought their child was sure to be a good flyer, Lily thought James was an idiot.
James came back in the room, announcing that dinner was ready. "Is everything alright?" he asked, noticing that her stare was slightly more vacant than usual.
"The baby's kicking again," she replied, and James came over, placing his hand next to hers and smiling.
They stayed there until the baby settled down. There would always be a spring, and there would come new life with it.
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April 22, 1980
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The summons came from Dumbledore early in the morning, waking them from their slumber, James stumbled out of bed and crashed into the end table on the way to the window, cursing, but he finally opening the window and snatched the note, glaring at the owl, which just ruffled its feathers and flew away. James unrolled the parchment and scanned the words, frowning. He looked to where Lily was lying, sprawled on the bed and staring at him.
"Dumbledore wants to see us, urgently."
One hour later, they were entering the Hogwarts castle. James paused a little before entering, but when he did, he swallowed audibly and followed Lily to the Headmaster's office. They used the password they had been given and in just two minutes, found themselves seated in chairs across from the very grave-looking headmaster.
He did not offer them any of the candies he kept in his desk; Lily's palms began to sweat uncontrollably and she rubbed them on her robes, glancing over at James. The furrow was in his brow again.
"How are you, Lily?" he asked gravely, and she replied with a mundane comment. He seemed particularly interested in how the baby was doing, and she told him that everything was perfectly fine. He then directed his question at James and they had a cryptic talk about James's job, none of which Lily understood, before they fell to silence and Dumbledore regarded them over the lenses of his glasses, his fingers pressed together in a steeple shape.
"Divination," he began, much to Lily's surprise, "is a very imprecise branch of magic. You both know this, of course, considering that you both possess magic that is even more obscure…Lily, James, I have something very important to tell you."
Lily had had to stop using any conscious form of Ancient Magic as soon as she knew she was pregnant, for fear that her magic would bleed into the baby's and he would take some of Lily's life force with him when he was born. She had never realized how much she relied on her magic to see whether a person was trustworthy or whether someone was lying. James had been sympathetic, but then, he had never had to live without his magic. Now she had to restrain herself from trying to see what kind of secret Dumbledore was hiding. Neither Lily nor James replied; James's hand moved an inch so his fingers rested on top of hers.
"Professor Sandrine will be leaving us next year and it's been quite a challenge to find a replacement, but I believe I found one last month." Dumbledore sighed and continued. "The circumstances, however, were quite strange. Her name is Sybil Trelawney."
He looked at the pair of them as if this should mean something to them, and then he sighed wearily. "I myself have always been slightly doubtful, and she could tell me nothing of interest, so I was quite sure I would not be hiring her. And then-quite to my surprise, Miss Trelawney went into a trance."
James's finger's tightened over Lily's and she saw his eyes flicker to the side. Following his line of sight, she noticed what she had not before. Standing by the side of the desk was a Pensieve.
Dumbledore paused. "I do not mean to say that this is entirely believable, but I have never seen such a thing in my life. I can only hope you will accept what you see." With slow movements, he raised his wand to his temple and it came away with a stringy white substance on it. He added this to liquid-if it could be called that-in the bowl of Pensive. Lily watched, fascinated as the silvery contents began to swirl. The substance bubbled over itself and broke into a mound, which shaped itself into a woman with a hunched back and oversized glasses. Lily opened her mouth to finally ask what was going on, but the words the came from the figure's mouth chilled her.
The voice was harsh and totally unbefitting of the woman draped in heavy shawls before her.
"THE ONE WITH THE POWER TO VANQUISH THE DARK LORD APPROACHES…BORN TO THOSE WHO HAVE THRICE DEFIED HIM, BORN AS THE SEVENTH MONTH DIES…AND THE DARK LORD WILL MARK HIM AS HIS EQUAL, BUT HE WILL HAVE POWER THE DARK LORD KNOWS NOT…AND EITHER MUST DIE AT THE HAND OF THE OTHER, FOR NEITHER CAN LIVE WHILE THE OTHER SURVIVES…THE ONE WITH THE POWER TO VANQUISH THE DARK LORD WILL BE BORN AS THE SEVENTH MONTH DIES..."
The woman sank back into the Pensieve as if she had never existed; James was holding Lily's hand so hard she realized he must have broken it, and she raised her eyes to Dumbledore's, placing her free hand over her belly.
"What's it mean?" she asked flatly, disrespectfully, but Dumbledore did not seem to care. He locked gazes with Lily levelly.
"It means that someone is going to have a baby which will be able to vanquish Voldemort, and I'm quite certain it's you. I've been considering this for almost a month-there are specifications which point to only two infants."
Lily looked down, her brows laced together. She felt a peculiar sensation rising in her chest; she was quite afraid it was the urge to cry. She gritted her teeth and looked up. "The-the part about thrice-defying him. I don't…I don't think we've ever…"
"I seem to recall an overnight ordeal sometime early in your seventh year," Dumbledore reminded her gently.
"That's only one," Lily muttered. "Just one."
"The letters," James said quietly, sounding quite sick. "Remember the recruitment letters? I burned mine."
"I burned mine too," Lily whispered, wishing she hadn't.
"That's twice," James said. "What about the third time?"
Dumbledore sat up straighter. "I rather think you'll have a choice again, James, whether by letter or in person. Defiance is not only escaping someone, but rejecting what they stand for. As for your son-"
"We're not sure it's a boy," Lily said weakly. "That Charm…it's unstable, at best."
"You are the best at Charms, Lily," James murmured, not looking at her.
"Whether or not your baby is a boy or a girl, I still recommend that you take necessary steps for protection after he or she is born," Dumbledore went on. "There are two babies that will be born at the end of July who have parents in the Order of the Phoenix, who have parents who have 'defied' Voldemort, as it's described."
"The other couple?" James asked hesitantly.
"The Longbottoms," Lily answered. "Frank and Alice. They…I was speaking to her the other day when I went to see you for lunch. July 30th, her baby's due. A boy."
"Quite right, Lily," Dumbledore said, but she wasn't listening.
She seemed to forget herself then, and she looked down at her hand in James's, clamping her lips shut and breathing hard to force tears away. How could it be possible that they would be hunted for something that wasn't even confirmed, something they didn't know applied to them? How, after the universe had dealt them so many blows, could they be hurt again?
She felt James's strong, capable hand on her elbow, felt him shaking, felt him pull her out of the room. She dimly heard Dumbledore offer some sort of comfort, but she heard only the cadence of his voice and could discern no words. She followed James blindly as he led her through the winding, confusing halls. She could hardly breathe over the lump in her throat.
They came to a halt and Lily bumped against her husband's back. He turned and took her hand, his eyes wide and terrified behind his glasses. "I don't…Lily-" His hand went to her belly and he kept it there, swallowing hard and pulling her close.
"Now what?" she whispered.
"I'm not sure," James replied, "but we have to…well, we have to be careful, I suppose. Stay in the house, up the protection, let Sirius and Remus and Peter know so they can…so they can be there if they need to…I…I'm not very sure, Lily. This is…this is bad. I'm not sure if we can-"
"We will!" Lily cried loudly, shocked when her voice rebounded off the incredibly high ceiling of the Entrance Hall and assaulted her own ears, shrill and high, like a banshee's.
James's hand on her back tightened and he looked over her shoulder. Lily turned and she pulled her cloak tighter so her pregnant stomach was less visible. Professor McGonagall was coming down the great marble staircase, her mouth in a thin line, her posture stiff, Lucius Malfoy behind her.
Malfoy caught sight of them and said something to McGonagall, who looked not the least bit surprised to see them. Lily practically felt her old professor grind her teeth as she led the tall blond man over to them.
"Good morning," McGonagall said, offering them what was perhaps the nicest smile Lily had ever seen from the woman.
"Good morning, Professor," they said simultaneously, as if they were still students. Lily supposed they always would be. The looked at Malfoy next.
"Hello, Potter," he said, looking at James and ignoring Lily completely. Lily stared up at his patrician features and blinked several times, thinking about how the last time she had seen him, he had been ready to rape her.
"Malfoy," James said distastefully. Lily knew that he saw Malfoy rather often at the Ministry, but that they did not speak to one another. Lily knew James's hand was curling even more tightly around her waist and he was pulling her closer by the second. The action let her cloak open and Malfoy's eyes instantly were on her stomach.
"A baby?" he asked, sounding delighted. "I've just had one myself. A boy. Draco."
Lily managed something of a congratulations and Malfoy's eyes narrowed. "When are you due?" he asked politely.
There was long, long pause, in which Lily looked at James and saw him raise a challenge to Malfoy as they locked eyes. "The end of July. You know, the seventh month of the year. The 31st."
"I'll be looking out on the day," Malfoy said mockingly. He turned to McGonagall. "It's been a pleasure inspecting the school. I'll be filing my complaints with the rest of the governors."
"Please do, Malfoy. We've been happy to accommodate you." McGonagall actually took the man's arm and led him to the doors, bidding him goodbye, Lily pressed her shaking face into James's shoulder and bit back a moan.
"Why'd you do that?" she had to ask. "Why'd you tell him that?"
James pulled away to look at her. "Lily-he knows anyways. We're not hiding from Malfoy, of all people."
"But…now you've…James, please don't talk about it to anyone, alright? Tell Sirius and Remus and Peter, but leave the rest for speculation because I…I…oh, damn…this is horrible…"
"Let's go," James said. She didn't move. "Come on, we've got to get out of here and do something. We can't think about this right now."
"James-this is so bad-James-"
James leaned down so his eyes were level with Lily's. "Lily, you have to get a hold of yourself. You cannot get worked up about anything. Calm down, please."
Lily took two deep breaths and kept her eyes on James's, feeling inferior. How was he dealing with this when she was falling apart? How could he stand there calmly when they had just been told what they had just been told?
"Mr. Potter, Miss…Lily. James. How are you?"
They both looked up at Professor McGonagall when she spoke to them. Lily almost wept at familiar sight of her teacher's fair and no-nonsense face, but she did get a hold of herself and managed a small smile, straightened her back against the weight of her baby. "I'm fine, Professor. And yourself?"
"I'm as well as I always have been," McGonagall said proudly.
"The Quidditch team?" James asked, and Lily smiled. She suspected McGonagall might have as well.
"Never as good as yours," the Professor said. "I do have a class soon, I'm afraid."
"Yeah," James said wistfully. "Those were the days."
McGonagall left them and they began to walk toward the doors, but Lily stopped and turned to the far wall, walking quickly across the Hall and stopping before the plaque that had hung there since their graduation last year. Dumbledore had told Lily and James that it would be moved to the cemetery at some point, but it had not happened yet. James followed Lily and stopped behind her as she traced her fingers over the words.
"The dead cannot cry out for justice," she whispered. "They need their justice, James. Who's going to give it to them?"
James smiled sadly at her and put his hand in what seemed to be its perpetual place-splayed over her stomach. "We are," he told her, kissing her ear lightly and taking her from the Entrance Hall and out into the dreary April day.
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July 31, 1980
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"I-WANT-JAMES!"
James's arms flailed and he fell out of his chair, rubbing sleep from his eyes and panting, looking around the room with its white walls and its antiseptic smell. Two Healers looked at him disdainfully as they passed, and he childishly sent them dirty looks. He looked at Remus, who was snoring in his own chair, and than at Sirius and Maria, who were talking gravely. Peter was late, of course. Peter was always late, nowadays.
They were sitting in chairs just outside the delivery room in St. Mungo's, and James had clearly heard Lily alternatively curse him and beg for him over the past twenty-two hours, until he had fallen asleep some time ago. He had rushed out of the room when she began throwing things at him and rushed back in when she screamed for him at least six times before the Healers told him to get out and stay out.
"Here we go again," he muttered, standing up and opening the door to the delivery room cautiously, hoping they would let him back in. One of the nurses waved him in and he approached Lily's bed and knelt next to her face, taking her hand and smoothing some of her hair back. "I'm here, Lily," he said quietly, squeezing her hand. She turned her face to him and he noticed that she was gasping.
"Push, Lily. Push," the Healer said from between her legs. James had been quite alarmed to know that a man would be doing the delivery, but after the first six hours he had gotten over his snit. He still didn't like seeing the bloke between his wife's legs.
Lily screwed up her face and nearly broke the bones in James's hand as she pushed for all she was worth, a loud, continuous whine sounding in the back of her throat from the pain. Her hair was pulled back from her face in an incredibly messy ponytail that James had been halfway through completing when she decided he was the scourge of the earth and threw the wireless on her bedside table at him. She was half-reclining, her legs splayed, her chest heaving. James's heart went out to her endearing, pained appearance, as angry as she was at him for doing this to her.
"Keep on pushing Lily-I can see the head-keep pushing-"
"Go on, Lily. Show 'em all," he muttered in her ear as she sobbed and pushed. "Come on…you can do it…Sirius is out there with Maria and Remus-they're tired, come on, Lily-"
"I've got the shoulders! Not long now, Lily. Keep it up-you're doing brilliant-yes, James-help her along, just like that-"
He kissed her behind her ear, as he had always been wont to do. "Fuck 'em, Lily," he whispered. "Forget about the bloody Death Eaters and the prophecy and whatnot-this is just for us, just for us-you can do this-"
The sudden sound of a high wail caused James to stagger back in surprise. He was looking at Lily in awe and missed the swaddling of the baby, but he did see the small, noisy form placed in Lily shaking arms.
"It hurts," she whimpered, "it hurts, but…oh…" She extended a finger and touched the baby's cheek, then looked at James, her eyes drooping. "I…"
James could only stare at her.
They took the baby from her after a couple of minutes, and Lily could hardly smile at James before she was unconscious. James, swaying on his feet and not really aware of what was going on, stumbled back into the main hallway. Remus was awake and staring blearily at the door and Peter was still not there. Sirius and Maria looked at him expectantly.
"Is something wrong?" Sirius asked, starting to rise from his chair, a horrified expression on his face.
"No-I just-it's…" James rubbed his eyes. "I'm tired."
They looked at him disbelievingly. "James-is it a boy or a girl?"
James blinked at them. He didn't know. How could he not know? They'd said-but he hadn't been paying attention. Then, James thought of the prophecy, and the fact that it was 11:57 p.m. on July 31st, and that both Lily and James had refused subtle offers to join the Death Eater circle since the end of March.
"It's a boy," he said quietly, and then he collapsed.
……
"James-wake up. Lily wants to see you."
James groaned and shifted in his uncomfortable chair, cracking one eye open and looking at Sirius's haggard but gleeful face. "James-you great git-get up!"
James pushed himself off the chair and squinted at his watch. Ten in the morning. He shook his head to clear his daze and looked around, realizing they were in a different wing of the hospital. "Where are we?"
"The fifth floor," Sirius said. "Dumbledore got you in here. Something about secrecy and whatnot. Lily's asking for you."
James frowned. "Where are Remus and Maria? Is Peter here?"
"Not together, that's for sure, and yes, Peter's here. He's getting us something to eat. I think Remus is with him, actually, and Maria went to tell Jon the news. She'll probably be back soon. Now go see Lily."
"Right," James said, a little nervous. "Do I look like shit?"
"Always. Here," Sirius said jovially, perform a few quick cleaning charms on James, including one to freshen his breath. James sent him a look and Sirius raised his eyebrows. "You're married now, Prongs-yes, we know you kiss-if she's got to kiss your dirty gob, it might as well taste-"
James smacked Sirius on the arm and he grinned, unshakable. "Lily," he ordered, pointing down a hallway James had never seen before. "First door on your left."
"Right," James said again.
Lily was sitting up, her eyes shut, but he could tell she wasn't sleeping. There was a suspiciously baby-looking bundle in her arms and James shut the door with a click, literally shaking. Lily opened her eyes slowly and smiled radiantly at him, her eyes shy and uncertain. He stepped forward, a ridiculous lump in his throat, and he sat down on the bed by her side.
"Are you alright?" he asked softly.
Lily nodded fervently, holding out to him her bundle, pressing her lips together as if she was a child waiting for praise. James thought of Darlene Meadows suddenly and wondered whether her baby was still safe after she had gotten it back. He felt Lily adjusting his arms around the warm body he was now holding and looked down at his son.
The baby was looking up at him with Lily's eyes, blinking solemnly and swathed in a hat and two layers of blankets. He smelled…clean, fresh, warm-like a baby, was all James could say. It was like an armful of soul, right there in his arms. James swallowed and Lily put her hand on his leg.
"Go on now, James. You show 'em. Cry!"
James laughed and looked at her smiling face, suddenly so overcome with what he was feeling. Who had this? Who else had someone as perfect as Lily and this baby in his arms?
Nobody. Everyone was lacking-and he pitied them all.
"How's his hair?" James asked teasingly, so afraid he would drop the baby and be taken away to Azkaban.
"Black. I think it'll be just like yours," Lily remarked, shifting over on the bed and leaning against him, her cheek pillowed on his bent knee and her eyes level with the baby's body. "He's going to be a hairy little baby."
"Mm…have you thought of a name?"
Lily paused. "Well…I was thinking Harry. Harry James."
James didn't care what the baby was called, as long as he got to call the baby anything and it called him dad and he had Lily by his side-he didn't care. Lily could pick the name.
"That's good," James said quietly. "Harry James Potter."
"He'll do great things," Lily said sleepily, yawning.
James continued to gaze down at his son as Lily dropped off to sleep. "Yeah," he muttered, "you'll do great things, Harry."
There was a respectful moment of silence as the wait of the seemingly innocuous comment weighed down on the small family. Lily swallowed and yawned, turning so her body twisted and she was still using James's thigh as a pillow. She shifted to get comfortable and her fingers grazed his thigh, just so she would be touching him.
"The others should come in," Lily suggested. "Otherwise they'll get anxious."
James shrugged. He didn't want to get up; he didn't have to. There was a light knock on the door and James called out for the others to come in. The door opened slowly and Maria poked her head in first-James hoped to Merlin she hadn't been tactless and had left Jon at home.
She had been smart. She was followed by only Sirius, Peter, and Remus-there was no one else-thankfully not Jonathan. Maria stood by the head of Lily's bed (not the side James was on), but Sirius, Remus, and Peter came up on James's side. Lily reached out her hands and took Maria's in one; Sirius took her other and squeezed tightly. James cradled his baby a little tighter and looked up at Sirius's rather awestruck expression.
Few things in Sirius's life had been completely and totally pure, completely and totally innocent. James could think that there were probably five times that Sirius had been truly shocked into silence-this was the sixth. Even Sirius knew when something was truly worth acting like an adult-in some ways.
"Can I hold him?" Sirius ventured, his dark eyes wide. Lily laughed softly, looking up at the ceiling, and she sighed.
James didn't quite know how to transfer the newborn baby to another person, but he managed somehow and Sirius was holding the armful of baby in his arms, swallowing hard. "What's his name?"
"Harry," James answered, and Sirius nodded. They all watched as he raised Harry slightly and looked him in the eye for a good two minutes, almost as if he was having a conversation with him. "I hope he's happy to meet his Godfather," James continued absently.
The look on Sirius's face was not quite like anything James had ever seen before. There had been jokes and promises-but the reality of the moment could not be anticipated. Sirius looked over at Peter and Remus, but they shrugged.
"We get the second and third kids," Peter said hastily, assuring Sirius that it was fine-they were fine, and mostly, that Sirius was fine.
"Peter," Lily said teasingly, "do you think I'm some sort of machine?"
There was a plethora of coughing and glances directed at James, but he just shrugged, running his fingers through Lily's silky hair. It had been washed since she had been in labor.
Sirius stayed silent, still staring at his new charge. He looked up presently and smiled-rather maturely-at James. "He's going to be just like his parents," Sirius said. "I understand him. I…you don't know what this means."
In the brief instant it took for James to think of something to say, he had a strange flash of memory-a memory he hadn't thought of in quite some time. It had been the full moon and a particularly difficult transformation for Remus. They had had quite a time of calming him down and, since it was their fifth year, did not fully know how to transform back into their human selves and not sustain any wounds, like they could now. Each boy deeply bleeding in several places, they had headed back to the castle to patch themselves up however they could.
It had been Peter who had tripped first, toppling over onto Remus, who knocked into James and Sirius. They hadn't known all their blood was mixing until they felt the tingling sensation in their bodies-magic-blood magic.
All their scars had healed and disappeared except for the places where their blood had entered another boy's body. James had four white scars from the escapade, two on his legs, one on his foot, and another on his arm. It was a constant reminder that he had a little of each other boy inside of himself to guide him, that he would never truly be alone without his brothers.
Brother-the word that Sirius had stopped using for Regulus some time ago, when Regulus's eyes had deadened and taken his soul with them. Brother-the word Emily used for James. Brother-the word for each other.
"Blood's blood, eh?" James asked quietly of Sirius, and he knew that all four of the Marauders were thinking about their strange incident.
"Blood's blood," Sirius repeated, his voice a rasp. He let out a deep, deep breath. "Blood's blood."
Sirius was loathe to let Harry go but he let Remus hold him next; it was a good thing, too, for it prevented James's solemn friend from storming off when Lily stiffened and sat up, wrenching Maria's hand closer and examining it.
"Maria?" she gasped, looking up at the brunette. Maria's mouth dropped open and her cheeks flamed as she tried to pull away. Lily kept her grip on Maria's fingers and held them up so the rest could see the diamond engagement ring on her hand.
Harry must have sensed the negative energy, because he began to cry loudly, hiccupping wails that did not abate when Peter took him from Remus and jostled him slightly. James got up and took Harry from Peter, settling him in Lily's capable grip and pulling his hat down so it fit properly. He forbade himself from looking at the expression on Maria's face-on Remus's face….Lily looked mortified for having been so tactless about bringing it up, but Harry's weight in her arms seemed to assuage her restlessness.
"Congratulations," Remus said quietly, finally breaking the engagement-related silence. James and the rest erupted in best wishes as well, clamoring for a little attention to make her stop staring at Remus. Remus's face was impassive, but James knew how hurt he would be. He resolved to do something for his friend, and soon.
"Oh…er…thanks. I…well, congratulations to you!" Maria blurted, her cheeks flaming red. She looked from Lily to James. "You two just had a baby!" She laughed a little and, her legs shaking slightly, sat down on Lily's bed.
"Yes, well," James put in, trying to lighten the mood, "it's not like I was in there for half the time. Lily just might have killed me."
Peter and Sirius sniggered. Remus let a slight smile steal over his face, but he looked too pained to show any other sign of emotion. Lily, her eyes closed again, smiled, and her head drooped forward. James leaned towards her and put his mouth next to her ear. "Can I take him…I mean, Harry?" he asked.
She nodded slightly, almost asleep. James lifted the baby from her arms and put him in the small clear plastic bassinet next to Lily's bed. He pulled Lily's covers up in a strangely protective gesture and put his fingers to his lips. He stayed there, watching her sleeping form, his breath catching in his throat and refusing to leave until he swallowed hard and gritted his teeth. His friends had left the room; he followed them.
He did return to her room sometime later, after their friends had gone home. Sirius had not seemed to want to leave-he happily would have returned to the room to watch Harry with James, but Remus, blessed, intuitive Remus, had pulled him from the hospital by force.
Lily was awake and waiting for him, much perkier than before. He had seen a Healer walk in with a potion earlier. It must have helped.
"You look livelier," he remarked dryly, kissing her lightly. Lily grabbed him by the collar and deepened the kiss, breaking away with a teasing smile.
"Much livelier," she murmured. "How about we get started on those other kids for Remus and Peter, hmm?"
"Leaving out Maria now, are we?" James asked, his eyebrows raised.
Lily cocked her head to the side, puzzled. "Actually, James…I was thinking. Maybe she…maybe she can be Harry's Godmother. I mean," she continued, seeing the skeptical look on James's face, "that it would be more fitting if she was a Godmother to Remus's Godfather-but I think she…well, she needs to be assured that we're here for her now, even if it's Sirius who's her counterpart instead. She's my friend, too, James. I have so few and I-I want to include her."
James looked down and shrugged, then nodded. "Fine. I reckon it's okay. We'll tell her tomorrow." He looked to the side, rocking back and forth. "Um…"
Lily threw back her head and laughed. "You can pick him up, James!"
"Yeah, well I didn't know whether or not I had to ask," James muttered sheepishly, turning and gently picking up Harry, supporting his head with one of his hands, as he had seen Evelyn do once or twice when she would baby-sit for children.
"The doctor says I'm out tomorrow," Lily told James, looking up at him, her mouth slightly open and her pink tongue running over her lips. "Done. Home. Home."
"Yeah. Home." James sighed, and then Harry woke and began to cry again, his mouth opening and closing on each piercing wail. James winced and Lily held out her arms-James gave her the baby and Lily sent him a reproachful look ahead of time as she unbuttoned the huge hospital smock she was wearing and pushed one half aside, deftly guiding the baby's mouth to her nipple.
Harry quieted, happily suckling, while James raised his eyebrows. He opened his mouth to say something perverted but Lily reached out her foot and kicked him from under the blankets.
"I had the hardest time, earlier. When you were asleep," Lily said. "Doing this, I mean. I couldn't get him to-to suck. The nurse had to show me how-it was mortifying. Sirius caught the tail end of the conversation and I thought he was going to die with laughter."
James reached out a hand and touched her cheek, brushing away her hair. "You're doing wonderfully, Lily. I mean it."
"Are you telling the truth?" she asked, wincing as Harry became excessively enthusiastic.
"Of course," James said, dropping his hand and stroking the side of her waist. "Does this hurt? I-does it still hurt?"
Lily shook her head. "Actually, no, it doesn't. You know, my mother told me that when she had Petunia and me she had to stay in the hospital for a week each time because she was too weak to leave. And here they just give me a potion and I'm all better. It doesn't seem fair."
"Witches heal faster anyways," James said, "if the affliction isn't magical. Cuts and bruises that aren't caused by curses or excessive force, childbirth-since that's as natural as you get-it all heals faster for witches and wizards."
"It still seems like I'm cheating," Lily said.
"Lily, we can't stay here for long with Harry. Not after…not after we refused those offers. That's three times' defiance, Lily. It's…it's possible that Harry…"
"Harry's a half-blood!" Lily cried. "How can Voldemort want him? The Longbottoms' child will be a pureblood-"
"Is," James said.
"What?"
"Is. He is a pureblood. He was born the day before Harry."
Lily paused. "Oh," she said weakly.
"I saw Frank in the delivery waiting room, Lily. Alice had Neville just as you went into labor. I think…well, we should see them, right?"
Lily was silent, but she looked up at James and nodded. "Yes, we should see them."
"Well that's good," James said, sighing with relief, "because Frank's bring Alice and Neville up at half-three, actually, that's in five minutes-don't give me that look, I knew you would've agreed."
Lily sighed, then looked down as Harry stopped sucking. She handed him awkwardly to James and closed her shirt, taking him again when she was finished. "What if it's Harry he's after, James? What then?"
Harry blinked sleepily at James, worn out by his feeding. "I…then we do whatever we can, Lily. I don't really know what we'll do."
The pair of them, Lily and James, sat with their son until there was a soft knock on the door. Frank Longbottom poked his head around the door, and then walked in, followed by his wife, Alice, who was holding a bundle that looked much like Harry in her arms, yet slightly plumper.
Frank Longbottom was a handsome man, well over six feet with dark hair that fell into his eyes, shot through with silver at the temples. His eyes were a not so unattractive hazel. His dark brawniness fit well with his wife's rather curvy, blond beauty. Alice Longbottom smiled shyly at Lily and James. "Hello," she said quietly. "We probably shouldn't be up here, but-you know how it is. Never did like the rules, this one," She nudged her husband with her foot. He smiled a little and then James motioned them into chairs. Lily greeted them cordially, although James could tell this was going to be an extremely awkward visit.
"How's Neville doing?" Lily asked.
"Oh, he's just fine," Alice said, her face lighting up as she looked down at her son. "Nice and healthy, thank Merlin."
Lily nodded. "It's strange, isn't it? Not having to carry around all that weight anymore?"
Alice nodded enthusiastically. "I know! I feel so free-it's almost as if I don't know what to do with myself!" Alice sat forward, cradling her baby to her chest. James handed Harry to Lily, sensing that she wanted to hold him, and then watched in bemusement as Lily put Alice and Frank completely at ease by talking about frivolous, light topics, such as the training they had gone through the N.E.W.T level classes they had taken. James remained mostly silent, watching Lily, and at the end of a half-hour Frank and Alice stood. Lily had put Harry in his bassinet by her side some time ago, and when the Longbottoms were about to walk out the door, Alice turned back.
"Actually-could I change Neville just now? I'd hate to have to do it when we get straight home because there may be people waiting for me with a surprise party, although I know nothing about that-" She smiled at her husband, who looked sheepish.
"Oh, sure! Go ahead," Lily said. "Do you need any diapers? Actually, I lied. We've got two left and we're going to need them."
"I'll just nip downstairs and get one from the room. All the things are packed," Frank said. He hurried out of the room, and Lily motioned for Alice to place Neville in the bassinet with Harry. She did, lying her son down next to Lily's.
All three were silent for a moment as they looked at these two special children, these two boys who had great, intertwining destinies. As they watched, little Neville's arms flailed wildly as he screwed up his face and gulped in air to let out a wail at the discomfort in his diaper. He seemed to catch sight of the other baby next to him and, more as a reflex than anything else, moved his arms again. James, Lily, and Alice watched as Neville Longbottom's tiny, tiny fingers grazed gently and briefly across Harry Potter's forehead, just above and to the right of his nose, fluttering away in a moment, almost as if they had never made that tiny mark in the first place.