I own nothing.
**
Chapter 24: Never To Forget
[Brand New, The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot]
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July 1, 1978
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Lily rolled over and encountered something quite warm and unquestionably solid.
She opened her eyes and tilted her head back, feeling both more relaxed and sated than she had in the past month and a half. She ran her fingertips lightly over James's chest and he stirred, throwing an arm over her waist. She eased herself away so he wouldn't touch her slightly swollen belly, and then she smiled lazily
She was going to be fine. Whether she told James or not-she was going to be fine.
She looked at his arm, spotting the strange tattoo. It moved, almost, as if taking in all the light around it and using it to animate itself. She touched it hesitantly, letting its warmth seep through her. Her eyelids drooped and she pulled her fingers away, confused. She had never seen anything like it.
And aside from that, why did he have such a tattoo anyway? She knew it had something to do with his job in Italy, but what was his job in Italy?
He opened his eyes slowly and looked around groggily before he focused on her. He grinned like the Cheshire Cat and tightened his arm, pulling her closer.
"Last night…" he began.
"Was lovely," Lily finished, intertwining her fingers with his. She turned over and he immediately spooned against her, sighing into her hair.
"It was," he agreed. "It was very lovely." He ran a hand up the side of her ribcage and pulled the sheet up against the chill of the early morning, sliding his other hand down to take her free one and clasping them just below her breasts. Lily's breath caught as his hand moved downwards-toward her slightly swollen belly. She gasped and rolled away; he rolled with her, sliding his lips playfully along her cheekbone.
"James," she said softly, "please…"
And suddenly she was back-nine days ago, when she had said exactly the same thing to him, pleading for help-
She fought for breath, thrashing beneath his body. He stopped kissing her and pulled away, pushing her arms down to the bed to keep her from hitting him.
"Lily-breathe, come on! What's wrong?"
She choked and wheezed; curling up in a fetal position and feeling his hand run into her hair. His other hand pressed down hard on the small of her back, and a shock went through her. Her air passages cleared and she lay there, utterly spent for no reason at all.
"Lily-"
"I'm sorry," she gasped out. "I don't know what happened."
He was looking at her strangely, as if he had never seen her before, and the absurdity of the situation hit Lily. They had broken up-she had broken them up, and there was no denying it. There were just fooling themselves like this, lying in bed and still pretending to be a couple.
We'll always be a couple, Lily found herself thinking wistfully, but she pushed the errant thought away and looked up at him. "I'm fine, really."
The comfort was gone. He was awkward now, shifting his eyes anywhere but her. She caught his hand and squeezed it and he paused.
"We're just going to pretend this didn't happen," she ordered softly.
He shut his eyes and shook his head, sighing. "We've got some dramatic lives, Lily."
She laughed. "We have."
"I'm…" he started, looking lost. "I'm really sorry. I guess I just couldn't…I couldn't love you properly. I keep on thinking I should have done something better, tried harder-"
"I should have tried harder," Lily interrupted. "In the end, this is really all my fault, and we both know it. If I hadn't-I mean…" She took a deep breath. "Look at what Adelaide said: you didn't leave England and our…son killed us. Maybe if you leave-and then if you come back we might…"
Something fleeting stole across his face but it was gone is just an instant. "I'm not coming back," he said, and Lily froze.
"What do you mean?"
"I don't think I'm coming back. What I'm saying is that this job of mine is binding. I've got to stay-" He broke off and hesitated. "I'm sorry, Lily-I wasn't really thinking properly when I accepted-"
"Whose fault is that?" Lily asked quietly, fighting the stinging behind her eyes. She slid her hands around his neck and pulled him down for a gentle kiss. He collapsed on top of her and laid there, a welcome deadweight.
"I'm squashing you," he said, his voice muffled against her shoulder.
"I like it," she whispered, stroking his hair. "Don't move."
They remained like that until they absolutely had to get up and go to breakfast. They showered one after the other and dressed, meeting each other at the portrait hole. They lingered there, reluctant to leave.
"You go first," he said courteously, and she left the room. He walked beside her down to the Great Hall and they ignored the hush that fell at their joint arrival. James sat between Sirius and Peter; Lily sat next to Maria, across from the other three.
Lily picked at her breakfast and Maria poked her. "Eat. You need to keep your strength up."
Lily cleared her throat, noticing James's curious gaze.
Suddenly, a loud explosion behind the teachers table startled everyone into alertness. Lily's hand went immediately to her wand, as did Maria's, and several people screamed. Peter gave a little squeak but then relaxed, and Sirius and Remus laughed. James merely smiled, his gazed pinned on Lily. She slumped in her seat with relief.
"You are unbelievable," she told her friends, watching the fireworks behind the teachers. Pink dust was steadily falling onto Professor Boot's black hair, his pride and joy. Lily stifled a giggle.
"Thank you," she said gratefully. "You're the best at making me laugh."
"We live to serve, Lily," Sirius said, with a little bow.
"Well thanks all the same," Lily said thoughtfully, as James's eyes found her again. She met his eyes across the table and smiled, looking back down at her breakfast and enjoying Boot's yells about the vile color pink, on her last morning as a student of Hogwarts.
--
"Please rise for the class of 1978."
There was rustling of cloth as every person in the room stood. Lily processed in first with James at her side, leading their year-mates behind them, girls on one side, boys on the other. Lily had sat through six of these ceremonies, and what should have been one of the most memorable days of her life was the worst.
They weren't ever coming back.
Lily shuddered, pushing that thought away. Errant thoughts were popping into her mind all the time now. She stood a little straighter and crumpled her speech in her fist.
James looked down at the crackle of parchment and gently took her hand, prying it open and picking up her dirty and abused speech. He skimmed it and his eyes went wide. "We had to prepare speeches? I was just going to present-" He went quiet and looked away.
Lily stared at him. Every year, the Head Boy and the Head Girl did a speech.
Not anymore. This was to be the last graduation ceremony at Hogwarts. The Headmaster had informed that that they would no longer take place, but Lily didn't know why.
"Yes," she whispered, snatching hers back from him. "Do you have anything?"
Just then, Professor Dumbledore called them up, and shaking, Lily stepped up with James, who was white as a sheet.
"H-hello," Lily said, and then pointed at her throat, saying, "Sonorus!"
"Hello."
Everyone quieted down. Lily spread out her speech and pressed it on the podium, trying to straighten it.
"It's been quite a year," she began. "Every year since I started, I watched this ceremony take place. It's sad to know that it won't be held in the future, due to circumstances beyond our control.
"Graduating from a school such as this is one of the best experiences I could…I could hope for. It's something I've always wanted to do, and now that I'm here it's surreal…"
Lily's speech flew out of her mind. It was useless. Every word of it was useless. Silence fell and pressed down on her. James nudged her and she started, an idea coming to her.
"It's surreal," she said firmly, "that I'm standing up here with the Head Boy and I feel more alone than I've ever felt in my life."
James winced. Lily pressed on. "The past seven years have been the best of my life. They passed quickly-too quickly. I can't even begin to describe the loss-the loss of my best friends. Everything that's happened here has shaped me, and the experience will continued to define who I am even after I've left. I hope all of you can learn to cherish the moments you will have with each other and with your families. It will be worth it in the end. Thank you. Quietus."
There was a shocked silence, and then someone began to clap. It turned into an all-out roar and Lily blushed, stepping back. James took her hand behind the podium, where people couldn't see, and squeezed it hard.
"I wasn't exactly prepared for this," he confessed to the audience. "I guess I want to agree with Lily. Everything she said is right. The things that happen within these walls-" He gestured around with his free hand, "are magical. This place…is pure magic. It's in the very stones-the trees, the rocks, even in the supply of firewhiskey Sirius uses to spike the punch with-"
There was a chuckle that rolled through the room. Lily marveled at his ability to come up with a speech on the spot.
"You are all perfect…in your own way," he said firmly, wincing as he looked at the Slytherins, as if regretting the words. "All of us-we're the future. We've got to do the right thing, because we're not living in the best of times. There are people out there who would hurt us, people who would hurt us in the school itself, and you've got to be careful. I hope I'll be making a speech that tells you to do the exact opposite-to just have fun and let loose-ten years from now at our reunion. Stay alert-but have fun. Have as much fun as you can here, before you join the real world...
"The real world isn't a pretty place right now. This year we…we lost two of our students to the real world, unjustly and too early. Their lives were just beginning, and they were…they were cruelly ended, by a student at this very school." James took a deep breath and Lily pressed against his side. "These people need to be remembered, and they will be. This will hang in the Great Hall."
He took out his wand and said "Accio." His invisibility cloak flew into his hands and he quickly stuffed it away, picking up the large object he had uncovered. It was a plaque. Lily stepped forward and ran her hand over the engraved words, shutting her eyes and trying not to think about Sunny-and Ana…Ana who she tried to block out because it had been her who had wielded the wand, whether she had been under a spell or not.
The dead cannot cry out for justice;
it is a duty of the living to do so for them.
Sunny Chi and Ana Figg.
May you remember us as we will remember you,
For the dead never truly leave us.
We will see you beyond the veil.
He paused, but Lily knew he wasn't done yet.
"Don't let people take from you what you deserve," he said quietly. "Don't go along with what people say-fight for what you want and need. Be yourself-your wonderful selves-and remember us and the message we're trying to give you." He looked at the seventh years, sitting there looking up at him, for the most part. "We did it, and we're going to take the world by storm. I present to you the graduating class of 1978, and I'll see you ten years from now."
Thunderous applause filled the room. Lily watched in amazement as every person in the room stood, even Boot with his pink hair, and clapped.
She didn't care anymore. Let the rumors fly. Let the people think what they wanted to think. In front of everyone, on impulse, she tugged James's hand and met his lips with hers, crying so hard she could barely breathe. "Goodbye," she whispered. "Goodbye."
--
The train ride was relatively uneventful. The Marauders were more playful than they had been for the past year, and there were several finds of spiders and snakes that disappeared within seconds ("Black!" "Lupin!" "Potter!").
They were quite suddenly at King's Cross.
Remus hugged Lily first, drawing her tightly into his arms and giving her a firm, sturdy hug. "I'm sorry about what I said that night in common room. I shouldn't have said you had done enough-"
"But you were right," Lily said amusedly.
Remus allowed a little smile. "Even so, it wasn't really my place to say, and I'm sorry. If you-if you need a place to stay, tell me. I'm staying with Sirius for a couple of months-and if you need anything at all-"
"I will," she assured him. Impulsively, she leaned forward and kissed Remus's cheek lightly. He gave her another squeeze and stepped away, towards Maria.
Peter came up to her next, giving her a very quick hug and a mumbled goodbye. Sirius grabbed her and swung her around in an imitation waltz.
"Lily, my dearest," he said theatrically. "You know if you need a thing you can come to me-"
"You're an oaf," she said with a laugh. "Stop."
He gave her a quick peck on the cheek and hugged her. "Don't hesitate. If you're down or you need help-you better come to me, all right?"
Lily wiped away silly tears and nodded. Sirius left her and she stood there, feeling forlorn and incomplete. But James appeared, and she knew what had been missing.
Quite suddenly Lily threw herself at James and hugged him fiercely. "Don't go," she whispered. "Don't leave me."
"Lily," he breathed, clutching her tightly. "I'm sorry."
"Write to me, all right? Just write to me about nonsense, just so I know you're alive. And if I go three days without a letter from you I'm coming up there to find you-you hear me?"
James laughed feebly and dashed a hand quickly across his eyes, shocking Lily. She had hardly before seen tears fall from his eyes and she watched eagerly for some other sign of visual sorrow. There were none.
Lily stepped back but James hugged her again. She breathed in his smell and a thought hatched itself in her mind, sliding through her coolly, as if invading her very veins and replacing her blood. One thing could keep him here-one thing about her could keep him in England, keep him forever by her side.
"I'm-" She stopped and cut herself off with a gasp. What kind of person was she, conniving to keep him in her clutches for just a little longer? Better to keep her mouth shut and let him be, let him find himself in Italy.
He let her go. "Goodbye, Lily," he said with a weak smile.
Just say it!
But he walked off, and Lily gritted her teeth and kept her hand over her belly, preventing herself from saying the only words that would let her keep him.
--
"Daddy?"
Lily's father turned and looked around, his eyes finally focusing on her and growing wide.
"Lily," he said, very softly. "My little Lily."
Her father's normally neatly combed and gleaming hair was dull and unkempt. He put a hand on her shoulder.
"Come on, dad," Lily said brightly, fighting off the darkness. "We've got to get home."
Her father stood still, looking around the train station. Lily paused, quite suddenly remembering that her parents had met at this train station.
I met James at this station. He introduced himself to me and I forgot his name, but all the same, I met him here…
She led her father out to the car park and loaded her trunk into the car. She helped her father into the passenger side and got into the driver's seat. She did not have a license, but her father had taught her how to drive the previous summer.
After a harrowing drive through London's streets, Lily helped her father out of the car, wondering how he had gotten to the station in the first place if he was so out of it. She helped him inside and sat him down on a couch. "Do you want something to drink? Tea? Water?"
He shook his head and then nodded. She went to the kitchen and brewed a pot of tea, staring out into the garden. It was surreal to be back here, as if she had never left.
She had left though, and she wasn't sure she should have.
The water boiled and she strained it through the leaves, carrying it out to her father. He was asleep. She set the cup down and stared at him, putting her hand protectively over her belly. She had not once thought what her parents-parent-would think about her pregnancy. What would they think of James?
She backed out of the living room and went straight to her bedroom, gasping for air. She took two steadying breaths to calm down. Her head ached. She pressed her fingers to her temples and frowned, wondering where he sister was. A sudden slamming of the door downstairs answered her question.
"Dad? I'm here! Did you get her yet? I can only stay fro a little bit today-Vernon wants me to come home and make dinner. She can eat with you!"
Lily smirked at her sister's inability to say her name and descended the stairs.
"Oh, it's you," Petunia said, throwing her light jacket on a chair and fanning her face. "Where's dad?"
Lily nodded towards the living room and Petunia went into the room. She came out a moment later and pushed past Lily to get up the stairs.
"Petty," Lily said quietly, taking her sister's arm, "how are things?"
Petunia wrenched her arm away and didn't answer.
"Petty!" Lily said, her voice fading at the end as her sister ignored her and slammed the door to her room. Lily let out a sound of frustration and went back up to the room, throwing herself down on her bed and remembering just why she had always been so happy to leave this house in the first place.
She lay in the light of the dying sun and looked up at her ceiling, drifting off to sleep simply because she had nothing else to do.
--
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July 10, 1978
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Lily had no idea what she was doing.
She found herself on an airplane for the first time in five years, heading for a country she had never been to before and also towards people who she had only met once, people who were ten times more likely to be loyal to James than to her.
She should have been with her father-helping him when he really needed her. She did not feel like much of a good daughter-she felt that she had failed, somehow, to keep her mother alive and her father's life intact.
Was this how Adelaide felt?
Lily pushed that thought away. She didn't really want to think about where Adelaide was, or even if Adelaide was
still alive. Did this mean the other world had been totally undone, or just that it continued on as if it had never
been put to rights?
She was getting a headache just thinking about, and she was staring into space when a flight attendant asked her if she wanted anything to drink.
"Pumpkin juice would be fine," she said absentmindedly.
"Pardon?"
"I said," she began irritably, finally looking at the attendant and the remembering she was a Muggle. "…pumpkin juice. But I really meant-pineapple juice!"
The flight attendant gave her a strange look and set down a cup of yellow liquid. Lily sipped it and made a face; she had always hated pineapple juice.
She supposed she got that from her mother.
Stop!
Lily was extremely confused as to what her father and sister were feeling. Aside from his absentmindedness that day at the station, he had been fine. Indeed, the morning after, he had woken up and greeted her as if nothing had happened, and he had remained cheerful until the moment he had seen her off on her flight. Her sister was the polar opposite, sullen and sour and quite obviously still grieving.
Her eyes drooped but she fought to keep them open. Gravity won out in the end and she dozed, only waking when the pilot announced that they were landing. She watched through a haze as the descended on the spider web network of lines below and shifted uncomfortably. She hadn't flown on a broom in weeks and she was forgetting why she had gotten over her terror of heights. The hit the runway with a jolt and rushed along the landing strip so fast her ears popped.
Lily waited until they had come to a complete stop and then extracted her carry on bag from the overhead bin, bringing the strap up over her head. She kept out her passport and her baggage claim ticket before disembarking from the plane and entering the airport.
She went through baggage claim, picking up her worn green traveling case and rolling it behind her. She got through customs with no problem and then waited outside, looking around for a familiar face.
"Lily?"
She turned eagerly and almost didn't recognize Emily, she had grown so much. She stuttered out a hello to the girl in front of her and then hugged her.
"Emily! You look so different!"
Emily giggled. "I think it's the water. Or the food." She flushed, all the way up across her razor sharp cheekbones, which Lily would kill for. "I'm still flat as a board though," she whispered, leaning in.
Lily felt a stab of guilt at the satisfaction of that, since her own chest was nothing to sneeze at. At least she had that one thing over Emily. Emily may be fourteen-but she was beautiful…perhaps even prettier than Maria because of the innocence behind her eyes. Her blue eyes were clear and her dark hair was shiny-she could even have been Maria's sister. However, she didn't carry herself with Maria's confidence and she was thinner and taller, almost gangly. Her face, though, was picture perfect.
"So-you're fourteen, right?"
Emily shook her head, taking hold of Lily's suitcase and dragging it over to the doors. "Yes. But I'm turning fifteen in August." They walked out into the night air and Lily coughed at the smog.
"Lily!" said Evelyn, hugging her warmly. Lily clung to her for dear life, just for a second imagining this was her mother she had her arms around.
Evelyn pulled away and stepped back, surveying Lily.
"You've got to eat more, my dear," she said gently. "Haven't you been taking care of yourself?"
Lily shook her head. "I was too busy taking care of my dad."
Evelyn's eyes flickered with sympathy and she sighed. "It will get better," she said softly. "The pain will recede. It'll be there-but you won't feel it as much."
"She's right," Emily added, stowing Lily's traveling case in the boot of a car.
Lily remembered that Emily had lost a parent as well.
It was a two hour drive out to their house, in Linnisbrook, Connecticut. They spent the drive chattering about Hogwarts, where Lily was headed, and how Emily had been doing in school. Unconsciously, they avoided the subject of James, although Evelyn kept on glancing at Lily worriedly.
They stopped in front of a small two story house with blue shutters and gray clapboarding. Emily hopped out of the car first and took out Lily's suitcase, carrying it inside before Lily could protest. Lily and Evelyn followed her inside.
The interior was cool and refreshing after the muggy heat of the night. Emily led Lily up to a bedroom and opened the door, revealing an airy room with blue décor.
"You're in here. I'm right next door, and mum's just up the hall."
Lily nodded. "Thanks." Emily turned to leave but Lily grabbed her arm. "Wait-do you have any photo albums that I could perhaps look at?"
Emily nodded slowly. "Yes. I'll bring them in just a moment."
Lily would much rather have looked at them alone, but she nodded and went into the room. She had brought enough clothes for three weeks, figuring she could wash them for the last. She began taking out items and un-shrinking them, putting them away into closets and drawers.
There was a knock on the door and Lily turned as Emily walked in, a few albums in her hands. She set them down on the bed and smiled. "I asked mum for some and she found more. These are from a couple of years ago though."
Lily nodded and sat down across from Emily on the bed. The other girl pulled out an album that said 1973 on the cover. "This is the earliest one my mum has with James in it," she explained. "They were all out enemies until he turned thirteen."
Lily wanted to protest and say that she didn't only want to see James, but she didn't have the energy to lie. Emily flipped over the cover. The first picture was of James, small, gangly, and just as she remembered him in third year, looking down at the ground. Sirius stood just in the corner, waving out at Lily. Slowly, James looked up, saw Lily watching, and scurried into the frame, his face red. Lily laughed.
"He fancied you something awful," Emily remarked turning the page. These were all pictures of things Lily remembered. He had obviously sent home photographs from his third year. They went through the other two albums, sometimes laughing at a prank Sirius had played on James or vice versa. The last book was filled to bursting with pictures of Remus, Sirius, and Peter.
Emily shut the book with a snap and picked up another. "This one's…special. His mother started it. He keeps the best pictures in here and normally takes it with him, but he forgot it this year because I had it in my room. I've been adding pictures all year, really."
She reverently opened the book, running a hand over the first picture and smoothing out the wrinkles in the covering.
Lily's mind reeled.
"Who-who is that?"
Emily looked at her strangely. "That's his mum, Aurelia. Haven't you ever seen a picture before?"
You named her Aurelia Elizabeth, after your mothers…isn't that a pretty name?
"No," Lily said curtly, pulling the book towards her and looking closer. Aurelia was beautiful-and she was Adelaide. James was a male version of his mother with what she assumed was his father's hair. Aurelia was holding him, a baby who was only recognizable by his hair. His mother looked tired, and she was in a bed, her eyes shining as she looked at baby. The sight made Lily's heart ache.
The next picture was one of James when he was a baby. He was chubby-but his hair still stuck up in all directions. He had a smudge of something red-perhaps sauce-on his upper lip, and he was banging on pots and pans with a spoon. Lily laughed and reached out a hand to touch the hair in the picture.
The next was taken outside, and the light was rather shabby. The idea was wonderful though. James looked slightly older now, perhaps two or three, and he was in his father's arms. His dad took his arm and waved it at the camera, beaming.
The following picture was black and white and had a slightly faded look to it. It was one of James's parents at a younger age. They looked to be on the quidditch pitch at Hogwarts, and a cheering crowd stood off to the side. Aurelia was wearing a jacket that was too big for her and Henry-she thought that was his name-was shivering slightly.
"He didn't play that game. He was injured. James…he has that jacket, you know. His mother kept it all those years and never gave it back to Henry-"
They were looking at each other much like Lily imagined she and James looked at each other.
Lily flipped the page quickly and swept tears from her eyes.
"Who's that?"
Emily hesitated. "That's Lucius Malfoy's father. He was…an acquaintance of Aurelia's. He also…he helped to kill her. He let You-Know-Who in."
Lily winced. "And who's that?"
Emily's face hardened. "That's my father."
Lily studied the picture more closely. This one was colored and done tastefully, as if the photographer had known what he was doing.
Aurelia stood in a kitchen. Seated at a table were Lucius Malfoy's father, Evelyn, and the man Emily identified as her father.
"What's his name?"
Emily sighed. "Antonin Dolohov. He's a Death Eater. He was actually a very nice person-he loved James, but then he went bad. I don't know why and I don't care. He left my mum when I was three, so I don't know him. He's…he's in America right now."
Lily looked at her, but the girl's face was set. There would be no more talking about this subject. She turned the page and laughed.
This one was taken years later. James was probably about six or so, and so was the dark-haired boy sitting next to him. They sat at opposite ends of a picnic table, both covered in mud and both pouting. Occasionally they would sneak glares at each other.
"That's Sirius," Emily said. "They hated each other but his parents were friends with my dad so they were always over here. Sirius was very mean to James. That's me over there. Dolohov left the day this picture was taken."
There was a little girl in the corner toddling around. She tripped over a tree stump and fell down, crying. Lily smiled.
They went through picture after picture. There were next to none of James when he was seven, eight, or nine.
"His mum died when he was seven," Emily said softly. "His dad married my mum when he was ten and when I was seven. There was no one to take pictures before that, so we don't have any of him until the wedding."
The wedding pictures went by, and then they saw one from Hogwarts. It was soon after James had left Lily on the roof, because it was Halloween time. Sirius and James had become friends on Halloween, that much Lily knew. There were only a few from his other years at Hogwarts, but the picture from his fifth and sixth years were abundant.
"Lily…he didn't stalk you," Emily said before turning the page.
She gasped. It was a montage of pictures of her, most of them blurry. In half of them she was yelling at him.
"Wow…"
Emily nodded. "That's it. Wait." There was one sticking out from the back. Emily grabbed it and smiled slightly, handing it to Lily. It was one of the two of them together. James was seventeen-he was opening his Hogwarts letter and a Head Boy badge fell out. Emily was watching him. As Lily looked on, James picked Emily up and swung her around. She laughed and hugged him. Tears sprang to Lily's eyes.
"Oh, Emily…you've had such a wonderful relationship with James. My sister and I…we…don't get along at all."
Emily had a strange look on her face. She was running her fingers along the back cover of the book. She grabbed her wand from her pocket and muttered a charm, and a slit appeared.
"You can use magic?"
Emily nodded absently and reached her fingers and pulled out a few pictures. She stared at them wordlessly before handing them to Lily.
There were three. They weren't the clearest photos-if you didn't develop wizarding photos in wizarding developing potion, they came out slightly fuzzy. One was of Maria, curled up on the common room couch asleep. The next was of Maria and James, standing with Sirius and Remus in the courtyard laughing over something. Lily stood in the background with Sunny, watching them.
The last was solely of Lily. She was sitting against a tree, reading a book with the most rapturous expression on her face, squinting to see in the low light of the evening. Lily blinked away sudden tears, wishing James had this picture with him right now.
"Lily-are you alright? Because you've been acting strange. What's wrong with you and my brother?"
The way Emily said it-my brother-made it impossible for Lily to lie.
"I'm almost three months pregnant," she said after a second, "and we broke up."
Emily gasped and put her hands over her mouth. "No! Lily-"
"And you can't tell him because then he'll come back-and he's not allowed to come back."
"I won't," Emily said hastily. "But…what are you going to do?"
Lily shook her head. "I don't know. When I go back to England I'm filling in for a teacher for a few months. Maria knows and I think she told Remus-they were going out-and I think he told Sirius and Peter. No one told James, and no one is going to."
Emily nodded.
"Can I sleep?" Lily asked softly, looking up.
Emily nodded. She gathered up all the albums but left the picture of Lily alone, leaving the room and closing the door.
--
______________________________
July 21, 1978
______________________________
Emily ended up writing a letter to James, informing him of Lily's pregnancy, but she shoved it into her desk drawer and waited to see what happened. She had a good feeling that Lily would crack, and hopefully she would tell James herself.
"Emily?"
She gasped and looked up, seeing her mother in the doorway.
"Hi mum," she said her voice unnaturally high.
"I don't want to know," Evelyn said dryly, shaking her head. "Supper's ready. Come down."
Emily followed her mother down the stairs, looking back at the drawer where that letter sat, burning a hole in the desk. She sat down at her normal seat at the square table, across from Lily and next to her mother.
Lily was only picking at her food tonight, shifting it around on her plate. Evelyn kept up a constant chatter; she was a socialite, and she had the skill to talk for hours on end about nothing.
"Evelyn, I have something to tell you," Lily said, interrupting Emily's mother while she was yattering on about the next-door-neighbor's bulldog. Her fork hit her plate with a clatter and Emily winced.
Evelyn raised knowing eyes and met Lily's. "You do? What's that?"
Lily put her napkin down. "You've both been great. You took me in without even asking why I needed a place to stay. But I need to go back home. My dad-I get the strangest feeling that he needs me. And there's something I need to tell him."
Evelyn nodded slowly. "I can't say I want you to go. You don't look well enough yet-but if you must, you must. We'll miss you. Would you like me to arrange a portkey for you, so you can go back right away?"
Lily nodded. "That's not all."
Evelyn set her fork and sighed. "What else?"
Lily flicked a glance at Emily. "Er…James and I broke up."
"That's it?" Evelyn asked.
Lily nodded firmly. "That's it."
Emily stared.
"I'll get right on that portkey."
--
Lily dropped her suitcase on the floor with a thud and looked around her living room. "I'm back!"
There was no answer. Lily dragged her suitcase up to her room and left it on her bed. She went to her parents'-now only her father's-room, and opened the door quietly.
Her dad was sitting on the bed, trying to fix his tie. He looked up when she walked in.
"Lily? You aren't due back for another two weeks!"
Lily shrugged. "I wanted to come home."
"Was it fun?"
"It was wonderful," Lily told him, and then stepped forward to tie his tie.
There was a question hanging in the air.
"Is there something you want to ask me, Dad?"
"What happened to James?" he asked, his voice heavy.
Lily stopped breathing and her fingers stilled on his tie. She briskly began again. "We broke up. I broke up with him."
Richard sighed and his shoulders slumped. "Lily…I actually liked him."
Lily laughed weakly and changed the subject. "Where are you going?"
He sighed. "Dinner with a few clients. Petunia's gone to some godforsaken place with that husband of hers. Will you be all right by yourself?"
Lily nodded. "Of course." She finished the tie but her fingers lingered. She brought them up to trace the familiar lines of his face. "Oh, Dad…"
"Your mother," he said hoarsely, "was the best thing to ever happen to me. You two were the best thing to ever happen to me. I would never take back those years-or take back having you and your sister. I love you…please tell me what happened to James."
"It's over," she said vaguely.
"He asked me if he could marry you," her father burst out. Lily's head shot up and she gaped at him. "Things like that with boys like him don't just end."
Lily really just wanted her father to accept it. She wanted him to be on her side.
"Dad-"
"Look," he said loudly. "You can't just break up with him-please…Lily, you've got to be happy. I've nothing else to live for but your happiness…and if he-marry him, have his children…have children and be happy…"
"Daddy," Lily whispered, wrapping her arms around him. "I'm pregnant."
--
Dear James,
Happy birthday.
Lily's three months pregnant. Just thought you should know. No pressure to COME BACK or anything.
Love,
Your sister, Emily.
Because in the end, Emily rationalized when she sent off the owl, while Lily had been wonderful for the past eleven days and Emily wanted to keep her confidence, James was her brother, and if his best friends weren't going to tell him, she sure as hell would.
Because blood-and James was her blood, no matter what other people thought-is thicker than water.
Much thicker.
--
And the plot thickens. Please reviiiiiiiieeeeeeeeew.