I own nothing.
**
Chapter 27: Stand By Me
[Stand By Me, by Ben E. King]
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November 15, 1978
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James squinted hard at the paper in the dying candlelight and frowned, taking his glasses off, rubbing his eyes, and then replacing them. There was to be a meeting at half past eight and he was looking through the briefs, trying to discern what it could be about. He had half an hour left though, and he set the papers aside to rest.
He hit himself on the head, lit his wand, and charmed it to hover, casting a bright light over his desktop.
By then, he had lost his taste for the dry information and he got up, letting his wand clatter to his desk, where he grabbed it before leaving his room. Elementary Wand Safety Rule Number One: Never Go Anywhere Without the Assistance and Presence of Your Wand.
The Main Palazzo was arranged much as the Training Palazzo was, but on a grander and slightly larger scale. This did not mean there were more rooms, but fewer rooms with more space. Only a selected few were taken from training each year and inducted into the Order. All in all, there were about thirty members total.
James bumped into Mary on his way out and she gasped, dropping the stack of charts she was holding. She hastened to gather them once more, batting away his hands.
"J-james," she stuttered. "How are you?"
He looked at her, bewildered by this strange behavior. Where had calm, cool, collected Mary gone?
"I'm fine, Mary. You good?"
"I'm well, thanks," she said.
"Uh huh," James said, quite disbelievingly, and they continued to walk down to the conference room. "So. Anything interesting? I haven't talked to you in…about a week. Longer, I'd say."
Mary shook her head slightly, very composed now. James narrowed his eyes. "All right. Out with it." He grabbed her arm and made her halt, spinning her roughly so she faced him. She met his eyes defiantly.
"Out with what?"
He almost growled with frustration. "Whatever you're trying to hide from me." He squinted and tried to make out her aura, which was covered with a black shade of a sort. "You are lying and trying to hide something from me."
Her steady gaze flickered. "I don't know what the hell you're talking about, Mr. Potter," she said briskly, shocking him. "And I think from now on we should try to keep a more professional relationship. I don't appreciate you advances, however subtle they may be-"
James laughed out loud at that. "Advances? Sorry to disappoint, Miss Bevan, but I'm not all that set on pursuing you-at all-"
If it was possible, her expression became even more torn, and James felt a stab of disgust with himself, wondering whether he had unconsciously been leading her on.
"Oh-shit, Mary. I sounded like a prick-"
"It's quite alright, Mr. Potter. And from now on, I'd like you to refer to me as Miss Bevan, as you so kindly did just before."
She continued down the stairs, her dark hair swinging in its plait. She had very nice hair, James noticed.
He then noticed that he was going to be late, and began to run down to the conference room.
--
When he got back to his room he groaned when he noticed the objects on the floor, releasing the spells that guarded his door and kicking a few charts inside unceremoniously. This meant he would have to give them to Mary or ask her to get them, and he did not relish talking to her.
No better time than the present. He bent to retrieve the charts and left his room, locking the door behind him with a whispered incantation.
Mary lived in the Training Palazzo, and only came to the Main Palazzo for meetings or other important occasions. She had avoided him fantastically at the meeting earlier. He would have to go through many security checks to get to her room, but he might as well do it now and not later.
He presented his wand to a strange looking machine for identification outside the passage to the Training Palazzo. He got his wand back and went through the doors, throwing a nasty look at Eva, who was watching carefully.
Within ten minutes, he had been transferred to the end of the passageway and he once more presented his wand for identification purposes. When he entered the Training Palazzo-Palazzo di Addestramento-he took the stairs up to the second floor and went to room 205, where he knocked and waited.
There was no answer, but he heard a strangled noise from inside and stiffened. He tried the door hesitantly and was shocked to see that it was open.
Just as soon as he opened it, he shut it, because Mary was shagging Emilio-one of James's old trainers.
James felt sick to his stomach-was he jealous? No, not of Mary. He was…envious. He wanted to have that-with Lily. He wanted to be with her again, for sure. Perhaps after he found whatever blasted thing he was supposed to and gave it to the Light in the catacombs…perhaps then…
And Emilio was a womanizer. Mary shouldn't be shagging him if she was just going to get hurt. Merlin-what was she, his sister?
In a daze, and rather disgusted, hoping the pair on her bed had not noticed, James headed back to the Palazzo Principale. He set down the charts in on his desk and fell on his bed, vowing to give them to her when she was…not otherwise occupied.
James flopped down on his bed and looked up at the ceiling, counting the little dots on the white paint. He took out his wand and pointed it at the ceiling, coloring it red, hoping to hit on the exact color of Lily's hair. He couldn't get it, so he tried for her eyes, and lo and behold, he got the clearest and most beautiful green he had ever see, aside from the real thing.
And so, James fell asleep, feeling like Lily's eyes were swimming before him as they had so often in the past.
--
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November 25, 1978
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Lily was leaving in five days. They had told her.
Well, not they. She had told her.
Having her baby so early had been the worst experience of Lily's short life, even worse than saying goodbye to James.
Not only had it been painful-but-five months. Her baby had hardly developed-and now she would never see James again, unless she got out of this bloody room and found him in this stupid palace.
After she had had her baby-no, it couldn't even be called that. She had not gone into normal labor.
After she had lost her baby-
After her baby had been killed, Lily had been moved to what was one of the most beautiful rooms she had ever seen. It was the picture of perfection, with dark, red velvet curtains, a plush carpet, and a comfortable bed. Lily found herself wishing to be home-with Sirius and Remus and the terrible food and the narrow, but moderately comfortable bed.
She had been examined daily by that woman-Mary, she said her name was, the one who had said the spell, pointed the wand, killed the last evidence of James that Lily had-who came in every day at three. Today, she had proclaimed Lily well, and said she could leave on the 30th.
Lily was not stupid. Three days after she had gotten to this blasted place, she had realized that this where James was. This was the Order of the Light, what Sirius had told her about. But if they were such advocates of good-then how could they order the killing of someone who hadn't even been born yet?
Lily was really considering suicide. It would be preferable to knowing she had let this happen, let herself be led by a man she didn't know to a place where she would ultimately lose too much. After her father had been-
Lily felt bile rise up in her throat and she shut her eyes, leaning against the cold window pane. She refused to look outside.
All that was out there was an overgrown courtyard with a cracked fountain and a decomposing bench. It was bleak, and it mirrored her mood perfectly.
__________________________
November 30, 1978
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James was on desk duty.
Each month, three Order members were chosen to do all the paperwork for the Order. This month, James was one of them, and he would be until Christmas Eve, when he would get the day off. He would most probably spend it in the Training Palazzo, as he was still unable to leave the Order for any purpose.
He stamped three official looking envelopes and put them in the tray that would instantly transport them to the Owlery, where they could be sent out. He sent three more letters onto senior members and sat back, sighing and taking a little rest.
There was a disturbance in the front hall. James looked up and, mouth agape, watched Mary fall and hit her head against the corner of Eva's desk, which was really the only thing James could see in the hall.
He swore and jumped up, hurrying out to the front hall just as flames roared in the great fireplace and he heard something disturbingly familiar. He looked up, but the floo was done with, and the shimmer that was the floo wards covered the fireplace.
"Mary?" he asked frantically. "Are you alright?"
She stirred, saw him, gasped, and promptly fainted. James took out his wand and performed an Enneverate, and she woke, coughing.
"What did you see?" she gasped.
He stared at her, bewildered. "What do mean, 'what did I see?' I saw you fall, that's what! That was nasty blow-who pushed you?"
She met his eyes and burst into tears.
James almost dropped her, that's how much he didn't want to deal with it. But she was crying and it was probably his fault, so he took her over to his desk, told the other two desk boys to fuck off, and sat Mary down in his chair.
"Why are you so angry with me?" he asked.
She only cried harder.
"Did I do something wrong?"
She sobbed, now bent over double.
"Do you think-"
"Will you bloody shut up?" asked one of the other desk boys, Jordan Eliseo. "Can't you see you're making it worse?"
"Why don't you stay out of it, Jordan?" James snapped, to a boy he was normally friendly with.
Jordan made a face and went back to his paperwork, glaring at Mary every few seconds. She had refused to date him back in September and he hated her for it.
"I've d-d-done something terrible," she sobbed, her words nearly unintelligible.
"What did you do, Mary?" James demanded. "Tell me what you did."
"I can't tell you," she cried. "They told me to so I did it-and-and now I'm done with. I'm quitting. I can't do this anymore."
"Mary-no! What did you do?"
She lashed out and hit him in the chest. Taken by surprise, he fell backwards and she got up, stumbling quickly from the room.
"That girl," Jordan said, looking at James, sprawled on his arse on the floor, "is crazy."
--
Mary came in at two and looked at Lily, who was staring out the window into the little courtyard, her cloak already on.
Lily glanced up at the sound of her arrival and Mary recoiled at the sight of her red eyes. She knew this was her fault-this strange detachment from the world was Mary's fault. If she had not taken that wand and pointed it at Lily and said that spell, that spell, perhaps everything would be okay. Perhaps she and Lily could have even been friends.
But Lily belonged to James Potter, and if there was one thing Mary knew, it was not to get too close to anything that had to do with James.
"It's time for you to leave," she said levelly.
Lily stood, took her wand from the night table, and followed Mary wordlessly.
Mary led her down the steps, glad that James was in his room and not about the Palazzo. That would have been disastrous. Mary stopped in the front hall, glad that Eva was not at her desk, and took down the floo wards. She took the floo powder, gave it to Lily, and asked if she knew what to do.
Something flashed in Lily's eyes-perhaps pain. "I've done this once before." She paused. "With him."
Mary checked, not sure what to do, and then transferred the powder into Lily's hand. Lily threw it into the fire and began to step forward, but Mary grabbed her arm. Lily recoiled at her touch and her eyes flared with fury.
"Don't touch me ever again," she hissed, trying to shake Mary's hand off.
"I wish I could take you to James," Mary said, almost pleading. "I wish I could but I can't. And I'm sorry I-"
Lily's eyes were huge, and green, and gleaming. She wrenched her arm out of Mary's grasp. "If you ever speak to me again, I'll kill you," she said, albeit weakly. "Don't ever tell me you're sorry, you-you cow-because you aren't and I don't have anything left, and I think your bloody Order has done enough."
Mary reached out her hand, but Lily pushed her backwards and she fell, clipping her head against Eva's desk.
Lily looked back, bit her lip in remorse, and stepped into the fire, fighting every instinct in her body. She hadn't meant to hurt Mary "The Leaky Cauldron!"
Her heart stopped as she began to spin, because James was running into the big, beautiful room she had just left from, and she opened her mouth on his name but only felt soot coat her throat and she gave a wracking cough. She tried to leave the fireplace but she was spinning faster and faster and the lights were darting before her eyes and oh, god, herbabywasgoneandwhatwouldsiriusandremussayandshewouldneverseejamesagain…
She fell out Tom's fireplace and collapsed in a heap on the ground, sobbing. She would have gone back to that wretched place, but there was no way to do it because she didn't know the name and she was sure they would have wards against her getting in, so she just sat and sobbed and continued to do so until Tom came over and helped her up, smiling widely at her and proudly showing that he had lost two more teeth in the month that she had been gone.
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December 10, 1978
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Light filtered in through the blinds on the window, playing over Lily's face and neck. Remus, standing the doorway, had not the heart to wake her.
She had returned just ten days earlier, sobbing, most decidedly not pregnant anymore, and unwilling to tell them anything that had happened. She had withdrawn into herself, only rousing to go to work, and that only occasionally. Sirius and Remus had been taking her shifts in turns while she had been gone and when she was too tired and had set the money aside for her. The only time she had really come alive was when she had told them to keep their shares because they had done the work, going as far as to point her wand at them and threaten their ability to procreate.
So Remus and Sirius were twice as rich as they had been a month ago.
Remus sighed and rubbed his eyes, feeling not like a boy of eighteen but like a man of thirty. He wondered if he would always feel years older than he was. Then again, living in the same era as Voldemort allowed for very few years of true childhood. It was time to grown up.
He heard a light footstep and glanced up, smiling wanly at Lily.
"Rough night?" he asked, taking the bags under her eyes and her slumping posture.
She nodded and got out a mug, pouring herself a cup of tea and sitting down across from him. She stared out the small kitchen window out at the barren street below. There were hardly ever people on it, and it hadn't snowed yet, so the trees stood leafless and spindly.
"Are you going to work today?"
Lily glanced at him and smiled, nodding. "In an hour or so. I can work longer now that I'm not…"
She trailed off, and Remus almost glanced at her now-flat stomach, but stopped himself just in time, as she was staring at him absently.
"Things went very wrong," she said in a small voice, taking a long drink from her mug and holding it tightly in her hands. She hunched over and curled into herself on her chair, her hair falling loose and lank around her face. "They went very, very wrong."
Remus paused. "I believe they did," was all he said.
Lily tucked her hair behind her ear and stared at her toes, and it struck Remus that she was so fucking young. What-she was turning eighteen in ten days? Admittedly, she was only six months younger than he himself was, but she seemed…more innocent.
And, of course, she didn't turn into a stark raving monster every month, did she?
When she looked up, her eyes were swimming with tears, and Remus caught his breath and gritted his teeth in anger. James-get your arse back here so I don't have to see her like this ever again!
"I don't know what to do," she said shakily. She squeezed her eyes shut and put her hand over her mouth. "Oh, Jesus, I don't know what to do-"
Remus got up, his chair scraping the floor obnoxiously, and went around to her side of the table. He knelt in front of her on the dirty tile and took her hands in his, holding them so tightly he heard her bones creak. "Lily…come on, love," he said tiredly, the endearment slipping out and making him pause.
She was almost like a sister to him now.
He hauled her to her feet and helped her into the living room, which was much cozier than the kitchen. They sat down on the couch and he pulled the badly conjured (Sirius had been chilly once when Lily had been gone) afghan off the back of the couch, throwing it over her pale feet. "What happened, Lily?" he asked, knowing that he would finally get an answer.
Her eyes were wide open but she didn't seem to be seeing anything. Remus took a few deep breaths to calm down and moved a little closer. "Lily?" he probed.
"I-I never…they just took-Remus, please help me…"
"What do you need?"
"Can you go get James for me?" she asked, her voice choked.
Remus paused, horrified. Was she delusional?
"Because I would really appreciate that because I really want to talk to him and I think if you were to go to Italy and fetch his bloody arse back here I'd be a bit easier to live with."
Remus breathed a sigh of relief. He thought she had meant to go get him from the other room or something. "I wish I could. I'd do that for you, Lily."
She smiled absently. "I know you would. You're bloody mad."
"Not mad," Remus corrected. "Just very devoted to your greatness."
She giggled. "Oh-you deserve to know," she announced, sobering. Her eyes were very sad, but she had gained some control. "I sort of…I followed someone who found me the instant I got there and asked me if I was looking for James. It was stupid, I know…but I wanted him so bad…"
Remus nodded, wondering whether he should ask her to wait while he went to get Sirius. He wouldn't appreciate missing this explanation.
"And he Stunned me and when I woke up there was this woman-her name was Mary. And she…well…" Lily fidgeted. "She made me go into labor with a spell," she whispered finally.
The silence in the room was shocking. It pounded against Remus's ears and he swallowed hard. "But-you were only-"
"Five months," Lily supplied miserably. "And I…after that they moved me to this wonderful room and took care of me but I was still a prisoner, you know? And then they told me I could leave-on the thirtieth, and they took me to the main room-the headquarters of the Order is so beautiful-it's a palace. But Mary…oh, Remus, she apologized! And I couldn't take it so I told her not to talk to me and I threw the floo powder in the fire but she touched my arm. I couldn't stand it and I pushed her and I said 'The Leaky Cauldron' and began to leave-and then he ran into the room and headed for Mary-do you realize that if I had stayed to help her I would have met up with James?"
Remus looked at her, quite speechless. He didn't know people could talk that fast.
"So if I had just let my-my stupid pride go for about two seconds, I would have spoken to James-and I could have-have told him about the b-b-baby and I wouldn't have to be so alone in this-"
"You're far from alone, Lily," Remus chided gently.
"But it's not the same, is it?" she queried, wiping her eyes. "We all know that neither you nor Sirius can be James to me, just as I can't be Maria to you or whoever Sirius is in love with to Sirius. There's still a difference."
"I'm not in love with Maria," was all Remus said, and at that very weakly.
"Kidding yourself will help no one," Lily said gently, reaching out and putting a piece of Remus's hair back into place. "If you leave it too long you might as well give up. Sometimes it's just much too late."
Remus could remember Maria telling him about something Lily had said-something about it never being too late.
Cynicism was really a terrible thing.
"No," Remus said firmly, looking up and meeting Lily's teary gaze. "It's never going to be too late for you."
"We were talking about you and Maria," Lily protested.
"No we weren't. And it'll never be too late for you and James. You'll make it. No matter what, you two will make it."
--
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December 24, 1978
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8:46 a.m.
Over the two weeks leading up to Christmas Eve, Lily managed to go to work every day, serve customers with a forced smile on her face, celebrate her birthday by sitting on a park bench and brooding, and explain things to Sirius. And so, Christmas Eve Morning found Lily in Diagon Alley in the middle of a light snowfall. She had gotten the morning off until about two in the afternoon, when the real rush would start. This way, she had enough time to find gifts for her rather cantankerous flatmates.
It was so rare for her to pull herself out of her depression to go shopping that she savored the day, tossing her head and breathing deeply the scents of Christmas. Snow, gingerbread, cinnamon, and peppermint continuously leaked out from the door of Florean Fortescue's. She considered going in there but staved off the desire, promising herself something after she found presents.
By the time two hours had passed, Lily had determined that shopping for two eighteen year olds who were just becoming men was the hardest thing anyone would ever have to do.
She decided to sod it and walked back up the entire alley, back to Quality Quidditch Supplies, where she picked up something signed for Sirius-a poster or a print or perhaps even a book (she couldn't really figure out what it was), and then a miniature model of a Pitch for Remus.
Halfway to the counter, Lily paused.
Remus and Sirius were…
Well, they were like her brothers. They had been wonderful-and the last thing they needed from her was a useless gift that she had hardly put any thought in to. So, with a sigh, she put down her items and began again. She spent ten more minutes in the Quidditch shop and then left, for there was nothing suitable.
"Lily?"
She nearly jumped out of her skin; she whirled and pointed her wand at the speaker, instantly relaxing before realizing just what she was seeing.
It was Maria.
"Maria? Are you-oh my God, how are you?"
"I'm good," Maria answered, hugging Lily tightly and kissing her cheek. "And you?"
"Not so great," Lily replied. "But I'll be okay."
"Listen, can we sit down somewhere?"
Lily nodded and they sat at one of the outdoor tables at Fortesuce's. Maria reached into her bag and pulled out a large roll of parchment tied together with a string. She handed it to Lily.
"For my end of the year project, I researched ways to battle lycanthropy."
Lily stopped breathing.
"And I think I got it, actually. Boot failed me and I have to make it up over the summer, and Snape wouldn't help me, but I think I got most of it. I just-I need to get it to somebody. Somebody who can finish it." Maria took a deep breath. "Give it to Remus. Let him decide what to do with it."
Lily finally came to life, shaking her head and trying to hand the parchments back. "Oh, no. Maria-give it to him yourself."
"No! Not a chance. I'm not seeing him."
"Well, why not? It can't hurt!"
"Lily-come on. Remus and I aren't dating anymore. I'm sorry if he thinks we are-"
"Oh, he doesn't," Lily said angrily. "He just didn't understand why you were ignoring him."
"I was busy!" Maria defended. "With this and with making up a new project so I don't ruin my career over my arse of a Potions Professor! And I realize maybe I should have spoken to him earlier but it didn't work out that way. He told me not to visit him-"
"You could have at least owled!"
"But I don't like being the first to owl!" Maria cried furiously. "It's like-it's like hard to get! The boy always owls first!"
"You're mad, Maria!"
"You'd like to think so," she said venomously. "But I'm not. The least he could-he didn't say a word to me. Just shagged me on the train, looked at me, and then left the compartment. And then on that bloody platform he walked over to me and stood in front of me and just stared, and then he walked off with his friends-I felt like a trollop, Lily, more than I ever have in my life-Jesus-I want him so bad-but I heard-"
Maria clamped her mouth shut.
"Heard what?" Lily probed.
"Just give him the damn notes," Maria said vehemently. "And tell him that I hope he's happy with Annie."
Well, Lily though. That's interesting.
--
12:02 p.m.
James pulled another parchment over to him and stamped it with the Order's official seal.
Three more hours and he was done with the bloody paperwork.
--
1:58 p.m.
Lily had returned to work early. She immediately put on an apron and washed her hands, then began serving drinks and a complimentary glass of eggnog to each patron at the bar.
This was actually quite fun. She would miss it when she went to Hogwarts.
--
4:21 p.m.
James woke from his nap with a start.
He knew what he needed to do if he wanted to leave.
He jumped up and went over to his closet, rifling through his robes, trying to find the ones he had been wearing-
There, underneath the desk.
He pulled the combat robes from under the desk, coughing as dusk flew out with the cloth. He shook the robes out and could have wept with relief when he felt something heavy in the pocket. He pulled out the small, glass box he taken from the tunnel in India.
"And because you two got married right out of school, it changed things so that Voldemort got a hold of a scroll which helped him become immortal-"
James would bet every chance he ever had of meeting Lily again that this was the scroll Voldemort wanted. Hadn't Jugson been looking at the walls, as if searching for something?
James threw his robes on the chair and took a deep breath. If he was wrong, he had just gotten his hopes up in a way he couldn't afford to do. He calmed himself down, then went to picked up the papers that has scattered when he threw his cloak.
Reports, notes, memos, charts-charts?
Oh, yes. Mary's charts. There were three of them. He would go give those back to her now, and then ask if she knew anything about the scroll.
He never got that far, because as he picked them up, one chart fell to the ground and he bent to pick it up, catching sight of the name.
Evans, Lily.
--
5:06 p.m.
He would kill her. It was as simple as that. She was going to die, and it was going be at his hands-his bare hands, preferably, which were shaking uncontrollably after the revelations he had just been given.
Mary would just have to pay.
Lily had been here-pregnant…five months…that was-late May. He had been sleeping with her in late May.
Fuck-he'd gotten her pregnant. Of all the idiotic things to do-
He could see the train wreck of events clearly in his mind. He got her pregnant, she broke up with him, she found out she was pregnant, they found out their child would kill them-oh, Merlin-what was he going to do?
James moaned aloud and put his head in his hands, jumping when he heard a knock on the door.
He got up and stumbled over to the door and opened it, revealing Mary in a plain green dress.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing here?" he choked out, restraining himself from hitting her.
"I'm leaving-James, what's wrong?"
"You-you-Lily."
It was amazing how one word could make a person change. She blanched to a sickly white and stumbled, all her confidence leaving her with that one name. "How do you know about Lily?"
He motioned vaguely into his room, to the bed-where the chart was lying innocently on his dark covers. "I read it-is that true? You brought her here and killed her-my baby?"
She shook her head vigorously. "You weren't supposed to know about the baby-"
"BUT I DO! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? HOW COULD YOU ORDER THE KILLING OF-how could you point your wand at a pregnant woman and kill her baby?"
"I don't know," Mary moaned, clutching at the doorframe.
"You don't know?" he hissed. "How-you're all bloody monsters-and that day in the Hall, when you fell-were you seeing her into the fire?"
Mary nodded the tiniest bit.
"Fuck-I thought I heard her voice-this is wrong…why am I here? I need to go find her…fuck."
I need to stop saying fuck and be a little more creative.
"I'm so sorry-I'm leaving because of this James. I'm quitting…James, you have to understand, please forgive me-"
"F-forgive?" he asked, choking on laughter. "You want me to forgive you for killing my future kid? Are you mad?"
"Yes! I never meant to do something like this-it just had to happen-James, I love you-I wouldn't ever-"
"I DON'T WANT YOU TO LOVE ME!" he bellowed.
"I DON'T WANT TO LOVE YOU EITHER, JAMES! BEING INVOLVED WITH YOU WOULD RUIN MY BLOODY LIFE!"
She was right, of course. Anyone who got involved with him ultimately ended up getting hurt.
"Well I wouldn't even think of getting involved with you, Mary. Not before this-not after-never, do you hear me? D'you think somehow that saying 'I love you' to me makes it all better? It doesn't-it makes it worse. You heartless bitch-I just want Lily-and I would've wanted that child, but I'm not going to get that chance, am I? And it's all your BLOODY FAULT!"
"And I know that," she whispered, quite suddenly sobbing. "I'm sorry-I'm sorry-I never meant to hurt either of you-" She leaned up and placed a gentle kiss on his mouth. "Goodbye-oh, I've got to go and I'm sorry-she's back at home, go find her…please forgive me-"
She ran down the hall and the stairs, her heels clicking on the pink marble floors. James stood in his doorway, shocked, before erupting in a flurry of action. He waved his wand and two valises slid out from under the bed. Random items he owned began shrinking themselves and dropping into the traveling cases until everything was pack. The lids shut and he shrunk them, placing one in each of his pockets.
He left the glass box on his desk and paused, breathless. He looked around his room-he had learned so much at this place, things he would have never though possible. He would-miss it. The feeling of brotherhood with a group. It was like a family-Merlin knew he didn't have a real one.
No-Sirius and Remus and Peter. They were family. And Lily.
Lily…
That decided him. He left the room, shut the door firmly, and was able to calmly walk out of the headquarters of L'Ordine di Luce, with no restraint and no contest.
--
6:56 p.m.
"I need to get to England. Now."
The woman at the reception desk did not look up. "Where in England?"
"Er…London, I suppose."
"Please move onto to the next window," the woman said mechanically, recording something in a book.
James looked over at the next window, which had a line a mile long.
"Can't you take me here?" he asked desperately.
First-he had not been able to Apparate to the Magical Apparation Licensing Office (MALO) because he didn't know exactly where it was. Then he had had to get a taxi driven by a wizard (the taxis had wands drawn on the sides of the cars that only wizards and witches could see). They had reached the Office in record time considering the traffic in Rome.
"This window is closed."
"The sign says open," James said exasperatedly.
The woman only turned the sign around.
James looked at the line, then at the woman sitting at the desk in front of him. "Look-I've got an emergency, and all I need is a License to Apparate to London, England."
"You also need a visa-and you do realize the wait in the London Office will be several hours long-?"
James slapped down the visa he had gotten from the Order, which allowed him to acquire a license to any country he chose immediately.
The woman took one look at the purple visa (only the visas of important people-or Order members-were purple in wizarding Italy) and flipped her sign right back around, looking up at James and smiling. "How can I help you today, sir?"
--
11:27 p.m.
Lily cleaned off a table with a cloth and some Disinfecting Potion, snapping her dishrag at Sam, who was once more drowning his misery in liquor at the bar. "Shouldn't you be going home soon?" she inquired over the noise of men shouting t each other. The table she had been cleaning was instantly taken and soiled again.
Sam Higgins shrugged. "Doesn't matter. My wife's busy and my kids are grown. Your age, even. What's an eighteen year old girl doing working in a pub?"
Sam got like this when he was drunk-he went off on different tangents and his thoughts jumped from place to place.
"Why's your wife busy?" She poured him his second free glass of eggnog that night.
"Her cousin-got attacked by You-Know-Who. His wife-she's gone."
Lily winced. "I'm sorry."
"Aye," Sam said darkly. "Bloody attackers hit her right in the stomach with a Severing Charm-five months pregnant-"
Lily stared at Sam, feeling sick. Jesus-
"But you shouldn't be hearing this," Sam said gently. "You're being hailed."
Lily turned quickly so she wouldn't have to think about that poor woman-a Severing Charm? Those monsters-
She saw Remus beckoning her over and she went. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," Remus replied. "Just thought I'd stop by and say hello. Sirius is in the loo."
"So there's nothing else?" she asked, worried, even as she poured a tray of drinks for the table in the corner and walked out from behind the bar to deliver it. Remus followed her. She smiled at each customer as she set the drinks down.
"No. Nothing else. You look a little green."
Lily shook her head. "Just-no, it's nothing."
"Aha," said Sirius, behind her. "That's what they all say."
They walked back to the bar. "I just heard a little story from Sam," Lily declared. "There's nothing else."
Sirius and Remus nodded, letting it go. "Did we tell you? Peter's coming by the flat tonight."
Lily smiled, genuinely pleased. "Really? I haven't seen him in months. How is he?"
"We'll find out tonight, I suppose," Sirius said. "It's snowing really badly out there."
Lily sighed. "I love snow."
"That's why we gave you that snow globe for your birthday," Sirius pointed out.
"And a very nice one it was," Lily said cheekily, taking another tray of drinks out. The door opened again, letting in a crowd of people as well as a barrage of snow. Lily breathed in the scent as she delivered drinks, then went to get a broom to sweep the snow out the door. She cast a quick charm on the door to keep the snow out while she swept. She gave Sirius a sideways glance and bit her lip. "Sirius?"
"Mmm?"
"Did Remus go out with anyone named Annie this summer?"
Sirius frowned. "No…not that I can think of. He ran into that Ravenclaw-Annie Somers-a few times in Diagon Alley. She wouldn't leave him alone, but then she found a boyfriend. Bloody mad bloke, that one is. Taking her on-she's bonkers. Besides-he's still hung up on Maria. He wouldn't date anyone else. Why?"
Lily shrugged.
"So," Sirius said after a moment of watching her. "What did you get us for Christmas?"
Lily laughed. "Am I really that likely to tell you?"
"No, but I love to ask. Aha!" Sirius said, repeating himself from earlier. "You got me a stripper in a cake!"
"Close enough," Lily said. "Where's Remus?"
"Getting chatted up by a hag. Be right back."
Sirius walked away to rescue Remus, and ten minutes later, Lily realized that she was sweeping the last of the snow onto someone's feet. Her eyes traveled up his legs, over his expensive yet dirty robes, up to the hazel eyes and the beautiful mouth and the glasses and the hair-
He was back.