I own nothing.
**
Chapter 2: Screwed
"The opposite of love is not hate, but indifference."
--Elie Wiesel
September 1, 1977
"Firs' years! Firs' years over here!" A bulky mass appeared at the edge of the platform at the Hogsmeade station. "Y'okay, there, my favorite troublemakers?"
James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter grinned at Hagrid. "Yea," Peter said, "we're fine." His face darkened. "But the dementors on the train…" He shook himself and Hagrid's normally jovial face turned a bit grim.
"Yes, well, I 'spect Professor Dumledore will want to make announcements. He'll prolly want to talk to James and Lily as well, since they're the Head Boy and Girl." Hagrid called out for the first years again, who were beginning to gather around him in clots.
"Don't remind me," a voice groaned, and James turned. Evans was scowling at him, standing beside Sunny Chi (who James had always thought was a sweet if rather naïve girl). "I have to work with him," she wailed, stabbing a finger in his direction.
James sighed. "Just grow up," he muttered, and Sirius smacked him about the head.
"Treat her with some respect, Prongsie old boy!" he cautioned, kicking James in the shin for extra effect. James grinned at his friend.
"Don't worry, Padfoot. We won't be talking much. Or had you forgotten?" James raised an eyebrow at Sirius's stricken face.
Evans pulled a face at him and swept past him, stepping into one of the waiting carriages with Sunny. Grinning and shaking his head, James followed the two girls, taking along his three best friends. He sat down across from Sunny, who was next to Evans. Sirius sat next to Evans, Peter sat by James, and Remus sat next to Peter. Sirius frowned.
"I feel so alone," he sniffled, and Remus grinned.
"As you should, Padfoot," he quipped.
"No, no, no, Moony old pal, his name is Snuffles!" James crowed, and Peter burst into laughter, quickly followed by James and Remus.
"I don't get it," Sunny said. The boys continued to laugh, this time with Sirius.
"Don't ask," Peter told the girls when he had regained some of his composure. "Just don't."
Evans and Sunny (James had always liked her) shrugged.
The castle looked magnificent, as always, James observed as they pulled up in front of the doors. He hopped out, noticing with a grin that Remus held out a hand to help Sunny out, and averted his eyes from Evans and Sirius.
Peeves was not in the hall at the moment, but James knew he would be coming by at some point anyways, he always did. The group of six entered the Great Hall and took seats at the Gryffindor table, and watched as the Sorting Ceremony commenced. This year, there were four new Gryffindor boys and five more Gryffindor girls. James knew Jonathan Chang; the Potters and the Changs were good friends, going back one or two generations of purebloods. He didn't know any of the girls or the rest of the boys.
After they had eaten, Dumbledore stood from his seat at the Head table.
"I am sure you all know about the trouble on the train this afternoon."
The Great Hall suddenly went so quiet it would be possible to hear a pin drop.
"The truth is, there were Dementors on the train today, who were most probably carrying out orders from Lord Voldemort." Many people in the room gasped and some flinched. Dumbledore continued on as if he hadn't heard them. "If you are not aware of what a Dementor is, ask one of your classmates, your Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, or take out the book, 'Bogies, Boggarts, and other Assorted Dark Creatures,' from the library. I find it most informative.
"I must say that there were a few students on the train who handled the invasion very well, and I shall have to hand out House points at the moment. For their efforts on the train, I award five points each to Rebecca Hause, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, and John Rubin of Gryffindor house. I award five points to Veronica Laws, Jessica Parker, Winston Ferral, Jack Darren, David McDonald, and John Dames of Ravenclaw house. I award five points each to Alex Johnson and Maxwell Dors of Hufflepuff house. Lastly, I award fifteen points each to our Head Boy and Girl, who showed great bravery and quick thinking: Lily Evans and James Potter. I would appreciate if the two of you would meet me outside my office after the feast. I'm sure you have memorized the route by now, Mr. Potter."
There was a loud cheering sound from everyone but the Slytherins, who were disgruntled that they hadn't gotten any points. James stood outside the doors to the Hall after telling his friends he would meet them upstairs.
"Evans!" James shouted, catching sight of her hair. Evans turned and saw him, then weaved her way through the crowd to him.
"Do you really know where Dumbledore's office is?" she queried, and he grinned, nodding.
"Let's go," he said, and she followed him, scowling. When they reached the gargoyle, Dumbledore was already standing in front of it.
"Ah, my two Head students. Follow me, if you will," he ordered, turning and walking off in another direction. James and Evans followed, until they reached a picture of a wood nymph, who blushed when James winked at her. He saw Evans scowl and immediately grinned. The joys of hacking her off…
"The password is 'water lily,' and from now on only the pair of you can change it. This is your the lounge you will hold prefect's meetings and the like." They followed him into the room, which was rather drab and not decorated with much of anything.
"You may decorate this room yourselves." He led them to another picture, this one of a knight, who hurled insults at them.
"Oi, you scurvy buggers. Draw your swords and fight like men!"
"The password to this one is 'dirty knave,' and again, only you two can change it from now on. This is your own personal common room." Dumbledore led them into a room and James gaped. It was decorated in Gryffindor colors, with gold walls, a red carpet, gold couches, and red cushions. A fire blazed in the hearth. Dumbledore walked over to a cabinet and pulled a key out of his robes, inserting it into the lock and opening it. With great care he removed an object and set it on the table.
"Pervideon Balls," said Dumbledore. "A very rare object. Please take care of it. When someone is in trouble, you will be able to see what is taking place in that white misty fog. It should disperse. You can also call up a specific image of a person. I trust you will use these well and not use them for silly games and the like," Dumbledore said, looking at them over his half-moon spectacles. James flushed guiltily. He had a feeling the Headmaster was mostly talking to him.
"Please sit," Dumbledore requested, motioning towards the couches in front of the fire. He took one himself. James picked a red one; Evans picked a gold chair.
Dumbledore smiled.
"Disagreeing as always, I see." He sighed softly. "I need your complete co-operation this year. I know it is a lot to ask, but you may not argue about petty things in my presence, and I will ask you to refrain from ripping each other's throats out."
Evans chuckled softly and James smiled warily. He was dreading Dumbledore's next words.
"Mr. Potter, Miss Evans. I'm sure you are wondering why Mr. Potter, who has never been a prefect, is Head Boy." He smiled as they looked at each other uneasily. "I simply thought he would be a better candidate than Dean Rosier."
James's jaw dropped. What on earth…
"How so?" Evans asked, voicing James's thoughts.
"Despite your immaturity, Mr. Potter, I think you will be much more compatible for Miss Evans. I felt it was time for an intervention. I feel that with a reasonable amount of work, you could be the most brilliant Head pair in the history of the school. You could work together effortlessly. You are more similar than you may think," Dumbledore explained.
Evans was glaring at James with a look of the utmost disdain, as if this was his fault.
"Yes, see, maybe we could work together if Potter would tell me why he won't talk to me anymore!"
Dumbledore was staring at James with an uncanny expression in his eyes...as if he knows…but that's impossible…right?
"Don't you think," the aged Headmaster said quietly, "that it is time you let go of old grudges, James? There was a time when, if I had paired you two together, you would have-"
"Sorry," James interrupted, "but this grudge is most definitely staying until Sirius-" James stopped abruptly, and Evans, who had leaned forward in her seat, threw herself back on the chair with a pout. James found this unbearably cute and immediately mentally smacked himself for thinking as such.
"See! Every time he gets close to saying something he clams up! How am I supposed to work with that?" she whined. Dumbledore shot her a slightly reproving look.
"Don't whine, Miss Evans," he chided.
"Sorry," replied Evans, blushing.
"So, are you going to tell Lily why you pretend to hate her?" asked Dumbledore softly, his piercing eyes fixed on James.
"I don't pretend. I do hate her."
Dumbledore smiled wearily. "That's what I thought you would say," he sighed. "Ah, well. Since we are making no breakthroughs, let us discuss the situation on the train."
No one spoke for a full minute. Finally, James voiced began his sequence of events. He mentioned that Malfoy had made some degrading comments when he'd stopped by, and told how he and Evans had investigated the train. He didn't mention how Evans was afraid of the dark or how she had collapsed when the Dementors got close.
"I conjured my first Patronus, Professor," he said softly, not sure if that constituted as bragging or not.
"Did you, now?" asked Dumbledore. "What form did it take?"
"A unicorn," said James.
"I see," said Dumbledore. "I see. Miss Evans? If you would tell me your perspective of the incident?"
Evans's version was basically the same as James's, the only differences being at the very beginning of the journey. When she had finished, Dumbledore smiled at them.
"I expected as much of you two. I'm very glad you were picked this year." He sighed heavily. "There were two dementors on the train, it seems. They escaped from the control of the Ministry and are traveling the countryside. Fortunately no one was Kissed, and hopefully no one will be before we apprehend them."
"Are they-are they part of Voldemort's army?" Evans asked tentatively.
"I believe so, although it will be a nightmare convincing Minister of that," grumbled Dumbledore. "But now, this subject is much too depressing for tonight. There are one or two more things we have to discuss."
"Like what?" James asked curiously.
"There will be foreign delegates arriving around Christmastime, inspecting the school and for a conference, and we shall be having a ball in their honor. It needs planning. You two need to plan it. I expect to be informed of the plans regularly, and you may talk to me at any time if any problems arise. Good night."
And with that, Dumbledore left the room.
"So, a ball?" James said, breaking the five-minute silence Dumbledore's departure had caused.
"Yea."
"Dress robes?"
"Sorry Skipper, but yea."
"Skipper?"
"Muggle thing."
"Giggling?"
"Hell yes. Have you seen the rest of the girls in our year?"
"Asking someone?"
"Sirius."
"Of course."
"You?"
"Anyone but Maria."
"Maria?"
"Nasty break-up last year."
"How nasty?"
"She threw a mace at my head."
"Bloody hell!"
"I pissed her off."
"Probably didn't take much effort then."
"Shut up."
"You shut up."
"No, you."
"You."
"You."
"You."
"Do girls enjoy this type of thing?"
"Yes."
"Girls are weird."
"Don't tell that to me when I've thrown a mace at your head."
"So, I have to ask a girl to a ball."
"Yup. Haha."
"Shut up."
"Screwed, then?"
"Screwed, Evans. Very screwed."
"How many times?"
"I can go all night. I'll have you screaming my name." He leaned forward until he was almost nose to nose with her. He noted with satisfaction that she began to breathe a little faster.
"Uh, no thanks."
"Pity." He sat back in his seat.
"Shut up, Potter."
"You shut up, Evans."
"Again, 'cause I can go all night."
"Ooh, touché, Evans. Good one."
"I am the best."
"Yea, out of you and Peter."
"I resent that."
"Watch it, Peter's my friend."
"You just insulted him, Potter!"
"He's still my friend."
"Sure."
"He is."
"Sure."
"He is!"
"Sure."
"Fuck you, Evans."
"…"
"Fuck you, Evans," he repeated.
"Fuck you very much, Potter."
"Took you a while to think that up, didn't it?"
"But it was good."
"I'll admit that. Still took you a while."
"More than you got."
"So, how's Sirius?"
"You just saw him two minutes ago."
"Oh."
"Yea."
"Should I shut up?"
"No, you are entertaining."
"Oh, really?"
"I didn't mean it like that, Potter!"
"Uh-huh."
"Fuck you."
"Fuck you very much, Evans."
"Ooh, mocking me, are you?"
"Don't you know it!"
"You bastard."
"I'm legitimate."
"Your Patronus is a unicorn?"
"Shut up, Evans."
"Is the unicorn significant?"
"Only to me, it has nothing to do with you."
"Wanna play a game?"
"Sure. Why the hell not."
"You say something and the other person has to say the first thing that comes to mind."
"Okay, start."
"Cherries."
"Sweet."
"Remus."
"Moons."
"Full."
"Lips."
"Sirius."
"Dogs."
"Puppy dog eyes."
"My eyes."
"Beauty."
"What?"
"You have beautiful eyes."
"Ooookay then. Moving on."
"Where were we?"
"You said, 'beauty.'"
"Your turn."
"Your eyes."
"Green."
"Creative, Evans."
"Shut up, Potter."
"Fine, Evans."
"Just go on, off of green."
"Grass."
"Daisies."
"Sunshine."
"Strawberries."
"Whipped cream."
"Fuck me."
"Excuse me?"
"First thing that came to mind when you said 'whipped cream.' More of a memory. You don't want to know."
"Ooooookay then. Moving on. Off of 'fuck me'."
"Yea."
"Screaming."
"Names."
"Letters."
"Shakspeare."
"Writers."
"Juliet."
"Capulet."
"Romeo."
"Men."
"Mars."
"What?"
"Muggle thing."
"Getting sick of that."
"Live with it. Your turn, Potter, off of Mars."
"Moonlight."
"Beaches."
"White sand."
"Turquoise water."
"Making love."
"What?"
"You know, making love on a beach of white sand under the full moon with turquoise blue water surrounding you. Classic romantic fantasy."
"Are you sure you aren't gay, Potter?"
"No, I just like to please a woman."
"Right…"
"Yes. That is right. You're kind of strange. Did you know that?"
"No. I'm just messing with your head."
"Figured as much."
"I'm tired."
"Am I supposed to care?"
"Is the game over?"
"Obviously."
"Did we just spend the last fifteen minutes making mindless banter?"
"Apparently so."
"Our lives would make good soap operas." Evans sighed.
"What the hell is a soap opera?"
"Muggle thing."
"Obviously."
"Yea."
"Okay."
"So there are two dementors loose in the country."
"Just noticing, Evans?"
"Know what that means?"
"What?"
"We're screwed."
"Knew that. So there's a ball?"
"Just noticing, Potter?"
"Touche. Know what that means?"
"What?"
"I'm screwed."
"In the head?"
"Yea."
"Oh."
"Marry me?"
"Why the hell would I do that?"
"Severe brain trauma."
"You're insane."
"And proud of it."
"You're nutters."
"Just noticing, Evans?"
"Yea. Know what that means?"
"I'm guessing you're going to tell me."
"I'm screwed."
"You're funny, Evans."
"Thank you, Potter."
"Welcome, Evans."
"And I thought you'd grown up."
"Thank you."
"Your head hasn't deflated a bit, has it?"
"Thank you, I think."
"Let's go to bed, Potter."
"Yea, Evans, that'll work."
"Okay then."
They left the room and walked through the lounge until they were in the hall. It was almost a twenty minute walk to Gryffindor tower.
"Um, do you always walk in silence, Evans?"
"Only when there isn't any intelligent life around."
"Thank you. My goal."
"Slytherins suck."
"Random, much?"
"No, Potter, that's the password."
"Apparently not. She hasn't opened."
"She's not there."
"Just noticing, Evans?"
"Yea, know what that means, Potter?"
Simultaneously, they turned to each other and said, "We're screwed."
**