Should I Stay Or Should I Go?
Molly sat on the sofa in Ginny and Draco's sitting room holding Ginny's left hand while Arthur sat on the right holding the other. Draco leaned against the wall by the hallway door, his arms and legs crossed. He sneered at Kingsley, Molly and Arthur but smiled brightly at Ginny each time he caught her eye. Molly and Arthur kept whispering to her about how her life would be better once they got her and her children home to the Burrow. Ginny was so lost in thought, she wasn't listening to Kingsley. Thirty minutes earlier she was excited and very happy, she had a beautiful new baby and sons that loved her very much. Her husband had agreed to have more children in an attempt to give her the baby girl her heart longed for. It appeared he really cared for her and wanted to make her happy. Now her parents were influencing her to leave him, convincing her that her life would be better away from him. They were her parents, after all, and had always known what was best for her.
They reminded her of all the problems in her marriage: how he controlled her, how he always got the final say and, in short, that their marriage wasn't a partnership. Her mother's whispered words to her when she first entered the sitting room ran through her mind, "You'll finally be able to fall in love with someone!"
Every woman wants to be head over heals in love, to miss her husband so deeply that she longs for him to come home from work, to have her heart race when she hears his Apparition pop and the excitement of running into his arms for a good after work snuggle. Ginny never had that with Draco and her mother was now promising her that she would if she left him.
Kingsley Shacklebolt slightly raised his voice, which brought Ginny from her thoughts.
"Ginny! Do you understand? The marriage law was repealed this morning and if you wish, you may have your marriage annulled. You have two weeks to decide. If you like, you can come with us now." Kingsley looked at Draco. "No one can stop you."
"What about my children?"
"We will take them with us. If you have been abused, you will get full custody. Their father will get limited visitation," Kingsley informed her.
"Draco didn't abuse me," Ginny stated firmly.
"Then you will share custody with him."
"He'll hide them away if he gets the chance," Molly protested.
Draco squatted down next to Ginny looked into her eyes lovingly and placed his hands on her knees. "Why are you speaking as if you've already decided to leave me? Only this morning you talked me into having more children. Aren't you happy, Gin? What can I do to make you want to stay with me?" he said with tears in his eyes. "Please, Gin. I love you."
Ginny rubbed his face. "Don't lie, Draco. You want and need me like I want and need you. But you don't love me and I don't love you." She heard her boys laughing as they ran down the hallway. "I know I don't love you because I love our boys. And I don't feel that strongly for you."
He raised an eyebrow to her. "We're more then that, Gin. I feel more than want and need when we dance. I see you blush. I can feel your heart race. Don't you feel mine?"
Ginny's memories of the society balls came rushing into her mind. It did feel like love those nights. During dinner, he stole kisses from her and rubbed his hand over her thigh. He whispered to her, "I'm the luckiest man at the ball because I have you at my side. You are the most beautiful witch here." She'd laughed at him when he made the same statement when her pregnant belly was so big it wouldn't fix under the table. After dinner they would prance about the room making small talk for an hour. His hand was always in hers or on the small of her back. He whispered loving statements in her ears and kissed her cheek. Once they had greeted everyone at the ball, he would take her to the dance floor. She'd melt into his arms during the first song and she had indeed felt both of their hearts racing. He was her prince those nights and they looked the perfect storybook couple. He'd Apparate her home around 11:00 p.m. and make sweet gentle love to her until the early morning.
Ginny shook off the memories and looked at Draco with a confused expression. "Saturday nights are lust not love. I'm… I'm"
"Please don't decide today, Love. Give it the two weeks. You can stay at the beach house if you like. I'll get you a nanny to help with Leo. I'd like to see the boys for a couple hours each day."
"They can stay at the Burrow and I'll watch after her and the boys," Molly insisted.
Draco sneered. "My sons know the beach house as a second home. Ginny has vacationed there many times without me. Cam and Serpens will not think anything is wrong. I'd like to make this as easy as we can on our boys, Ginny. Thuban will know something's amiss, do you want me to speak with him?"
"Draco's right, Mum. I'll go to the beach house." Ginny summoned the house elves to pack her and the children's belongings. "We'll leave this evening." Draco had a slight smile on his face until Ginny turned to him. "I don't think you should visit us. I need time to think and I won't be able to do that with you popping in every night. Mum will help me with Leo."
Draco knelt in front of her, his eyes filled with pain and sadness. "Please, Gin. I need to see them. I've never been away from them more than two days. You and the boys are my world."
She ran her hand through his hair and looked into his eyes. "Maybe you can come for a short time on Saturday."
~~~~~~*****~~~~~~~
Draco had agreed not to contact Ginny or the boys until Friday morning. He made sure the beach house was cleaned, the kitchen was stocked with food, the house was warm and there was an ample supply of treats for his sons. He informed the three house elves at the beach house to follow Ginny's orders without question. He tried to talk Ginny into a nanny for Leo but she wouldn't hear of it. She did agree to take Tipsy, the house elf who had taken care of Draco and Lucius as children, along with her.
The Weasley twins helped Molly and Arthur move the things they'd need for the two week stay into the beach house, while Ron kept Thuban and Cam busy flying the rest of the afternoon. Serpens spent most of the day playing with his dragons in Ginny's bedchamber, and Ginny spent the rest of Wednesday in bed recovering from Leo's birth.
The boys were very tired from their day and Molly had no problem putting them to bed after dinner. All of Ginny's brothers, with the exception of Charlie and Percy, had come to the beach house for dinner and to visit Ginny. After the children and Ginny were sleeping, the Weasley family met.
"I can't believe she didn't ask for the annulment already," Ron said.
"She just gave birth, Ronald. She isn't thinking straight." Molly placed a piece of cake in front of him. "She's very emotional."
"She's not in love with him and she decided to come here right away," Arthur added.
Bill sipped his tea. "I want to make sure Ginny's decision isn't influenced by magic or concern for her boys."
"We also need to make sure the Malfoys can't steal the children," Fred interjected.
"I've placed a number of wards on the beach house. It's too bad we still don't have spies on the Malfoys," George stated.
"I'm sure they are planning something," Ron spurted.
"They may be, little brother, but we can't let that possibility affect Ginny's decision," Bill calmly acknowledged. "She'll go back to Malfoy if she thinks it's the only way to keep her boys."
~~~~~~*****~~~~~~~
Thursday passed quickly and uneventfully. Bill had taken the day off to keep Thuban and Cam busy. Molly played with Serpens, while Ginny rested and took care of baby Leo. Friday was a different story all together. Ginny, although still very tired, was up and around.
Her morning didn't start well. She walked into the kitchen and heard Serpens talking.
"I not eat eggs, Grandma."
Cam smirked. "They make him sick, Grandma."
"He's allergic. You'll have to make him something else," Thuban added barely hiding a giggle.
"Sorry darling, I didn't know. What would you like?" Molly asked pleasantly.
"Waffles with strawberries," Serpens said while nodding.
"He'll eat the eggs, Mum," Ginny firmly declared as she sat at the table. She looked at her boys and then at her mother. "They're a sneaky lot, Mum. Ask the elves if you have any questions about food." Ginny gave a pointed look to her boys. "Don't you have something to say to your grandma?"
"Thanks for breakfast," Cam rattled off.
"You're a great cook. The eggs and sausages were outstanding," Thuban gushed with great cheek.
Ginny cleared her throat and a chorus of "I'm sorry" came from her boys. Arthur laughed as he left the table.
"The sounds of home, Molly. You better put your twins' hat on." He kissed his wife's cheek. "Nice to see you up and about, Gin bug." He kissed Ginny's cheek. He quickly kissed the boys and chuckled. "Your grandma has handled the best, boys. You'd better be careful now that she's on to you," and with that Arthur Disapparated.
Thuban elbowed Cam and nodded towards Ginny. "Mummy, is Daddy coming today?"
"No, Cammy. Daddy is very busy with work," Ginny lied.
"Floo Daddy, please!" Serpens pleaded.
"Not this morning baby…" Ginny was cut off by the arrival of an eagle owl. The boys were very excited to see Draco's owl. It dropped two letters in front of Ginny, a private letter for her and one to be read to the boys. Thuban gave the owl water, a treat and whispered to it before it flew off.
Draco's letter to the children was very simple. He told them he loved them, missed them and would see them as soon as he possibly could. He also told them to behave for their mother. His letter to Ginny was simple too. He stated how quiet the manor was without them, how he would change if she came back and asked if he could visit the children Saturday or at least floo them. Molly had insisted on seeing both letters and tested them for charms or hexes, though none were found.
"Are you going to let him come, Ginny?"
"I don't know, Mum. I need more time. I'm not ready to talk to him. But the boys miss him so much."
She hugged her daughter. "I know it's difficult sweetheart, but you need to do what will make you happy. You are no good to your children if you are sad and depressed."
~~~~~~*****~~~~~~~
Thuban stood in Ginny's bedroom doorway late Friday afternoon. He was dressed in a green Quidditch uniform with his junior comet in his hand. Ron was standing next to him also holding a broom. Molly and Hermione were in the bedroom with Ginny as she sat in a rocking chair feeding her newborn son.
"It's no fun here without Daddy. Why are we still here?" Thuban questioned.
"Sweetheart, we're having a two week holiday."
"But why? It wasn't planned. Daddy said he'd be staying home with you for the first week."
"Darling, Leo came early and your father is busy for the next two weeks. Your Grandma and Grandpa Weasley are helping me. Uncle Ron will take you flying most evenings."
"Grandmother would have helped. Uncle Ron doesn't fly as well as Daddy. The water's too cold to swim in and Daddy has never been too busy for more than two days."
"Thuban, Daddy is busy and he won't be coming."
"I'm missing my lessons. There's no way Daddy agreed to this holiday."
Ginny looked frustrated and when she hadn't responded Ron decided to step in. "Listen, mate. Wouldn't you rather go flying then have boring lessons? You're too young to be worrying about schooling. What do you say, mate?"
"Je n'ai jamais rencontré quelqu'un d'aussi bête."
Ron looked at Ginny in puzzlement. Ginny shrugged her shoulders and Thuban smirked.
"I said, I enjoy flying with you very much."
Ron smiled at the little boy and started to lead him away. Thuban looked at his mother and when he realized he wouldn't be getting the truth from her tonight, he decided to go flying with his uncle.
Once Ginny was sure Thuban was gone she turned to Molly. "He knows something is wrong and all the boys need to see Draco."
"Are you ready to see Draco, Ginny?" Hermione asked softly.
Ginny started to cry and Molly hugged her. "I'm so confused, Mum. My boys need their father."
Molly patted Ginny's back. "They need a happy mother more, Ginny. Doing what's best for you is the best thing for your boys in the long run."
Ginny was too tired to think. She wanted to be alone. Hermione and her family had hinted all afternoon that she shouldn't let Draco visit the boys on Saturday. Now she wanted to think for herself and nap. She laid a sleeping Leo in his cot. "Mum, I'm tired. Can you please give the boys their dinner?"
"Of course, Ginny dear. Have a lovely nap." Molly and Hermione exited the room.
Ginny walked around the master bedroom. She loved the beach house. Draco had allowed her to redecorate it two summers ago. It was perfectly designed for a family with young boys. They had spent most of June, and all of July and August here last year. It had been the happiest summer of her life. But maybe it just seemed that way because March, April and May had been very stressful months.
-------- Flashback ---------
"I could provide a potion to increase Mrs. Malfoy's fertility but the chances for multiple fetuses are very high. Knowing she has had problems with high blood pressure late in her last three pregnancies, multiples would be dangerous for her to carry," the healer informed Draco and Ginny.
"I don't want to do anything that endangers Gin. We already have three healthy sons. It's just that with her family's history, it's surprising she isn't pregnant. Serpens is two," Draco answered.
"I understand. All the tests show everything is normal with both Mrs. Malfoy and yourself. Sometimes infertility is stress related. Having three active little boys under the age of 5 is stressful and time consuming. My best advice is take a holiday, get away from the stress and stop trying."
Moments after Apparating into the Manor foyer, Ginny broke down in Draco's arms.
"Your father's right, I can't do anything, even something as easy as getting pregnant. What am I worth to anyone?" She wept through her words. Draco tried his best to comfort her and decided to move them into their private suite before talking. Once inside, he sat her on the settee and cradled her in his arms.
"You're worth the world to me and the boys, Love. You're an excellent mother."
"Not according to your father. He is always criticizing my parenting, especially when it comes to Thuban," she continued to weep. "Everyday he finds something that I've done wrong."
"Father is disappointed with my parenting as well, but they are our children. I believe we are doing an excellent job."
"Your mother hasn't been any better the last two months. I forgot to check Thuban's shoes before I flooed the boys to dance class in March. He still had on his trainers. I got a 30 minute lecture about the importance of appearance and now she checks the boys before I leave the Manor with them."
"I didn't know, Love. I'll speak with her." Draco kissed away her tears and her crying slowed. "Mother forgets you have three to look after," he chuckled. "And I used to always try to sneak out in trainers. Made it a couple of times too." Ginny giggled. "That's much better," he smiled at her. " You know the garden party crowd, Gin. I'm sure Thuban's trainers were mentioned and one of the older witches remembered the occasions I'd worn mine."
"That explains some of her behavior, but I hate it when she leaves me out of the party planning. I want to plan the birthday parties for my husband and sons..." Ginny stopped and placed her face in her hands. She blushed at her mistake; Draco's party was to be a surprise.
He moved her hands from her face. "Don't worry, Ginny. I already knew. Only Mother would believe she could send out two hundred invitations for a dinner party at Malfoy Manor on June 5th and I wouldn't hear about it or guess that it was a birthday party for me." They smiled at each other for a couple of minutes. "Gin, for my birthday I want you to get us ready to spend a month at the beach house, just you, me, and the boys."
-------- End of flashback ---------
Leo cried. Ginny picked him up and walked with him. She wrapped the baby in a blanket and went out onto the balcony and sat in one of the lounges. The balcony overlooked the seaside. Her father was building sand castles with Serpens. Ron, Thuban and Cam were flying their brooms. Draco still had Cam's junior comet's charm set to beginner, so he couldn't fly as high or as fast as his brother. Thuban was being devilish, almost running into Ron a number of times and saying it was an accident. But Ginny knew better. Thuban was an excellent flier for his age. She looked down at Leo, "Do you like this house, little one? Mummy does. I've always been the mistress here, not Narcissa. This house is too small for your grandmother and grandfather." Ginny giggled. "A twelve bedroom house, too small, can you believe it?" Ginny looked up in time to see Thuban knock Ron off of his broom. She shook her head and called her oldest son over to her. He flew onto the balcony and sat in the lounge next to her.
"Thuban, I know you're flying into Uncle Ron on purpose. If you can't behave yourself you will be sent to your room."
"It's not my fault he can't fly," Thuban declared.
"Thuban, you know better. Now, go tell your uncle you're sorry."
Thuban's eyes went dark and he screwed up his face in anger. "I will not! Malfoys never apologize to idiots. I want my daddy."
"Thuban go to your room and stay there for the rest of the evening. You won't be getting any supper." The little boy started stomping off. "And leave your broom in my dressing room. You won't be getting it back until you apologize to your uncle," Ginny added. Thuban slammed every door on the way to his chambers. Ginny placed a sleeping Leo back in his cot. As she rested on her bed, memories of the previous summer ran through her mind.
-------- Flashback ---------
Ginny stood on the balcony in a long black robe and watched as Thuban, Cam and Serpens, ages 5, 4 and 2, excitedly jumped and spun in circles in front of Draco, their short blond hair flowing with the breeze. Each boy was dressed in a different Falcons' Quidditch outfit. Thuban, the away green with gray trim uniform, Cam, the home gray with green trim and Serpens in a home Falcons' jumper and robe. Draco had his broom in one hand and two junior comets in the other.
"Daddy, you promised you'd move my broom's charm up to the next level," Thuban chirped.
"I said if you could proved yourself an able flier I would. I need all of you to sit on the porch while I set up Thuban's test." The boys ran over to the porch and sat, each of them squirming and laughing with great delight as Draco constructed an obstacle course for Thuban to fly through. Draco flew the course next to Thuban explaining what the boy was to do. Draco confirmed that Ginny was watching before sending Thuban on his way. The young boy ran the obstacle perfectly, performing the twists, turns, climbs, and drops with great speed while maintaining the ability to stop on a sickle.
As Thuban landed next to him, Draco hugged the boy, face beaming with pride at his oldest son, he messed the boy's hair lovingly.
"Excellent flying, son. Let's see what Mummy thinks." They turned and looked up at Ginny. Draco smiled and winked at her. "What do you think, Love?"
"He's very skilled, but if you change the charm setting he must always fly with one of us."
Thuban squealed, "Change it, Daddy, please. Change it!" Thuban then whispered, "She makes me fly with a grownup already." Draco raised his wand casting the charm that changed the broom's setting from beginner to intermediate.
"Gin, we'll be ready to go in a few moments. Are you coming?" Draco inquired.
She nodded and moved inside. She removed her long black robe to reveal her seventh year Gryffindor Quidditch uniform. Two days before his twenty fifth birthday, Draco had paraded around in their private chambers showing off how his Slytherin uniform still fit him, so she wanted to see if hers did too. She wasn't very hopeful, as she knew having three boys had changed her body. But after putting on the uniform she decided the change was for the better. Her small breasts had filled out a bit so that the jumper was tight in the chest but loose at the waist. The waist of the trousers was now too big and she had to perform a tailoring charm. They were tight in the hips but showed off her round bottom nicely, so nicely that she thought it a shame to cover it with a robe. With her robe and broom in hand, she hurried down the stairs and out the front door.
Draco's eyes widened at the sight of her. He uncoupled Serpens' flying harness from his own and walked over to Ginny after instructing the boys to remain where they were.
"Bloody hell, Gin," he whispered as he kissed her neck and ran a hand down to cup her bottom. "Merlin, I never thought I'd be turned on by a Gryffindor uniform."
She giggled and pushed him away. "Don't get too excited, dear, we have an audience." She pointed at their three boys.
Draco eyed them and looked back at Ginny. He whispered, "Put the damn robe on and hide that outstanding view. This broom ride is going to be very uncomfortable for me thanks to you."
She giggled causing him to spin around and suckle her neck one last time. "Laugh now, wench, for it will be I laughing tonight while you make amends for your teasing. Remember, Love, flying tires the boys out but invigorates me. It will be an early bedtime for everyone tonight." He winked at her and patted her bottom before returning to their sons.
--------End of flashback ---------
She smiled as the memory faded and sleep started to take her. Draco was right on all accounts. After hours of flying, the boys fell asleep at 7 p.m. and Draco escorted her to their chambers right after, where they enjoyed a lovely evening of playing "seek the snitch" and "ride my broom" until the early morning. She couldn't be sure, but she believed that was the night they created Leo. Her life wasn't bad the way it was. She wasn't in love but it seemed close enough. She'd have to think on this some more.
-----*****------
Down the hall Thuban sat at his desk re-reading his letter.
Dear Daddy,
I love you. I miss you. Cam and Serpens cry because they miss you. I am sad but I do not cry. I want to see you. Why did you not come with us? Why is everyone lying? I know you are not busy at work.
Uncle Ron is a git and his lady friend is mean. She does not like me telling the elves what to do. Uncle Bill, Grandma and Grandpa are nice.
Please, Daddy. Please come and get us. I want to be with you. I promise to be a good boy. I am sorry I do not listen to you all the time. I will be better, please Daddy.
Love,
Thuban C. Malfoy
He wiped the tears from his eyes and tied the parchment to Draco's owl and sent the bird home.