A/N: Okay, okay. Addiction is a very bad thing. My intent was to take a couple of days off after writing that nice little breaking point yesterday; needless to say, it didn't work. After a nice, long shower (where I find myself plotting out what I want to happen next) a new idea for how to continue came to me and I found myself back at the computer…
I hope you find it as intriguing as I hope it to be…
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A Dream and the Journal
They remained locked in that bliss for as long as their oxygen-deprived bodies would allow. When finally, they could no longer fight it, they smiled against each other and backed languorously away. Their eyes met as they both breathed deeply, contentedly.
Slowly, as they looked at each other, they began to laugh. Excitement at finally being together had now combined with the realization that they were looking at each other with that sappy look of love; the kind normally found in romantic movies. It was a look that neither of them had ever dreamed of wearing themselves. And yet, there was no other way for them to look; no other way for them to express solely with their eyes, the love that bonded them together.
Suddenly Harry's expression changed as he looked beyond the surface of what he saw in her eyes and reached deep within to connect with her soul. His heart was now certain, beyond any shadow of a doubt, that she was real…that she was his. His mind, however, had long ago decided, before all of this happened, before the defeat of Voldemort, that his heart didn't always know best…and his mind was not about to let his heart win without undeniable proof. And so he searched.
"Harry?" She said cautiously. It appeared as though she'd lost him somewhere within the depths of his mind and she was worried what he'd find there; especially knowing that it had something to do with her. "Harry?" She nudged him gently as she tried to bring him back without startling him.
He blinked rapidly and shook his head. The faraway look in his eyes vanished and he smiled at her; having not heard her calling him he took no notice of her worried expression, which disappeared quickly as she returned his smile.
She promptly decided that whatever he'd been thinking would be best left alone; judging by his expression she wasn't sure she really wanted to know the thoughts that had been running through his mind. For reasons unknown, she feared what he would discover if he delved too deeply. There were things she wanted to tell him but there were things she…
"Hermione?" His voice interrupted her thoughts. "Hermione, are you okay?"
He startled her and she looked up quickly. Thankfully her mind was still sharp and his words registered immediately, although her mind had been elsewhere. "Yes, Harry. I'm wonderful." She said smoothly; as inwardly she struggled to control whatever turmoil had suddenly taken hold. What is wrong with me? She wondered. Breathe, Hermione. It's just an after-effect of the accident, she assured herself. Although somewhere deep inside she couldn't shake the feeling that there was a lot more to it than that.
Harry was watching her intently and his concern began to grow. "Hermione? Are you sure you're all right?" He asked worriedly. "You don't look so well."
"Humph." She muttered; suddenly unable to look at him as his words cut through her. "How would you expect me to look, Harry, after what I've been through? Madam Pomfrey said that even though I'm a witch I'd still need time to heal." She said petulantly. She crossed her arms over her stomach and Harry wanted to laugh. She looked so cute, pouting like that.
"Hermione." He said gently, placing his hand on her arms where they were crossed over her stomach. He moved his head, trying to catch her eyes. "You know I didn't mean it like that. I just meant that you looked worried or upset about something." He raised his hand to gently lift her chin from where it now rested near her chest. He forced her to look at him and he smiled. "Your always beautiful to me." He said earnestly.
She fought the smile that suddenly threatened to form on her lips as she made to smack his shoulder. "How is it that you know exactly what I need to hear?" She asked adoringly. "You weren't practicing all the best lines while I was in a coma, were you? I mean it's only been a couple of weeks, hasn't it?" She said with a playful look…as though she'd just discovered his deepest, darkest secret.
Harry lowered his head as his cheeks burned red. "How did you know?" He said softly.
Hermione was taken aback. "What?" She said loudly, surprised by his answer.
She watched as his body started rocking harder and harder as his laughter built. He looked up at her; his eyes alight with mischief. She smacked him again and began to laugh. "Oh you!" She said in mock frustration.
After a minute his laughter abated and he looked much more directly into her eyes before he spoke. "It's really much simpler than that." He said softly, earnestly. She waited. She hadn't realized she'd stopped breathing as she anxiously awaited his next words. He smiled gently and raised his hand to her cheek. "All I have to do is look at you and the words just come. That's how you can be sure they're coming from my heart…" He said.
She sighed as she released the breath she held. "Harry, that's…"
He placed his fingers over her lips. "Wait a second." He said. "I'm not done."
She looked at him questioningly as she tried to figure out what more there could possibly be to say. That was the most romantic thing she'd ever heard and she didn't know how there could possibly be more to add to it.
"That's how you can be sure they're coming from my heart…" he repeated. "because if they were coming from my head…" he paused and raised his eyebrows, "you'd probably be spending a lot more time smacking me."
It took her a moment for it to register… The raised eyebrows, her spending more time smacking him…
"AH! Harry!" She exclaimed. He laughed and managed to move just in time to avoid the hand that was once again taking aim at his arm.
"What?" He asked innocently. "I didn't say anything that wasn't true, you know?"
Hermione laughed. This was a Harry that she would enjoy being with forever. She couldn't remember a time when he had appeared more relaxed than he did at this moment. "Come here." She said with a smile.
He scooted forward a little closer on the bed and leaned toward her. "Yes?"
Suddenly her hands were around his neck and his eyes widened in surprise as she pulled him quickly to her. "I love you." She said happily as she leaned forward to claim his lips. Harry smiled against her. "I love you, too." He mumbled against her lips as she refused to lighten the hold she had on him.
His eyes were closed as he pulled slowly away from. He wanted to savor the moment and yet, he was no longer able to deny his sleep-deprived mind and body; he was in desperate need of rest.
He looked at her. "Are you really okay, Hermione?" He asked. "I mean, really?"
Hermione was surprised by the sudden change in him until she looked into his eyes. Immediately she reverted back to the Hermione of old. Care and concern were etched deeply in her face as she realized how exhausted he must be. Rather than dwell on the inward turmoil she really felt, she looked into his eyes and prepared herself for the lie, "I'm fine, Harry." She closed her eyes tightly and took a deep, calming breath. She looked at him again and saw that his eyes had begun to close. She placed her hand on his cheek. "I'm sure I'll be fine." She whispered.
Harry mumbled something incoherent as he slowly stood to find a cot where he could fall asleep. He wanted to lie down next to her but as exhausted as he was he was afraid he might hurt her somehow. Exhaustion like this tended to make him move about more restlessly in his sleep and he didn't want to risk it. "I love you, Hermione." He mumbled as he staggered away from her bed.
"I love you too, Harry." She said as she stood to help him. It took her a moment to steady herself as she slid off the bed and her feet touched floor. She held on to the side of the bed and waited for the lightheadedness to pass. Slowly she made her way after him. She made it to the curtain that separated her from the next bed and she pulled it back more roughly than she'd intended and struggled to maintain her balance. When she saw him laying there, apparently already sleeping, she pushed the curtain open the rest of the way and slowly made her to him. She kissed his cheek and gently pulled the sheet up to cover him. "I hate lying to you, Harry." She whispered as she gently caressed his cheek. "The truth is, I'm terrified." She kissed him once again and turned to walk slowly back toward her own bed.
Something made her stop. Not really knowing what she was looking for, her eyes slowly raked across the floor of the infirmary until they stopped at the place where the journal lay. The gleam returned to her eyes as she slowly made her way across the infirmary to retrieve it. A brilliant smile lit her face as she picked it up and made her way back to her bed. Harry will be asleep for a long, long time, she thought, as she climbed into her bed and prepared to open the journal.
Harry hit the bed and instantly fell asleep. What he had hoped would be either a dreamless sleep or one filled with images of him and Hermione turned out to be something entirely different. His dreams had taken him to a place unrecognizable to him. Bodies lay scattered on the ground for as far as the eye could see. A battle had raged here; a battle with far too many casualties. A part of him wanted to stop, to search the faces, to see if he recognized any of the seemingly discarded bodies of the victims. The scene, from where he stood was not familiar. It did not look as he thought the battle with Voldemort might have looked. This was worse; so much worse, wasn't it?
What am I doing here? He wondered. "The battlefield didn't look like this when we were fighting, did it?" He said softly to himself, his voice full of emotion as inside he cried for all the lives so needlessly lost in a battle that never should have been fought.
He didn't have time to linger as he was pulled inextricably forward by an unforeseen hand. He wanted to fight against it but found that his body now moved of its own accord…his mind unable to fight the force that held him. He was pulled through a grove of trees into a small clearing. A single, solitary body lay before him. He turned, his eyes taking in the sights surrounding him; searching for something as yet unknown. He stopped when his gaze fell upon two more bodies; which lay not far from where he stood.
Recognition dawned on him, as suddenly his mind grasped where he was; this is where it happened, he thought. He looked at the lone figure before him and instantly recognized the dark hair and olive skin…before him lay the body of Cho Chang. He now knew the other two to be Draco Malfoy and Millicent Bullstrode.
Even as wondered what had brought him to this place, tears began to sting his eyes. He may not care much for Cho right now; but he had, once upon a time, and seeing her lifeless body made his heart ache. In life he had not cared for Malfoy or Millicent either, but knowing they lost their lives in a sacrifice for him and the side of good, his heart began to ache for them too.
"What am I doing here?" He shouted out to whatever force had pulled him to this spot. Looking around, he saw nothing he hadn't seen already. "What do you want with me?" He yelled, trying once again.
An unrecognizable light suddenly appeared before him. He could not find the source but he found himself listening intently as a voice seemed to rise from within it. "The one who suffers the most must set free that which cannot find its way. Find the answers. They shall lead you to where the journey ends and all hearts shall be free to live again."
"What?" Harry asked aloud. "What do you mean, find the answers?" He was yelling now. "Journey? What journey? Tell me!"
The light vanished as quickly as it had appeared and Harry had just enough time to look at the bodies of Cho, Draco, and Millicent before he felt himself being transported back to his bed in the infirmary at Hogwarts.
He woke with a start and looked around desperately. He turned and saw Hermione. She had been watching him intently for some time. He looked down at her lap and saw the, as yet, unopened journal.
He looked from the journal to find a surprised Hermione staring back at him; he knew then, it was time for the journal to be opened…
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