A/N: I know I said there might be two journal entries…I was wrong. I like where this stopped and if I tried to put one in here somewhere it would be contrived. I don't want to do that. I'm very sorry, but I have to write it as it flows or it'll sound as though I'm skipping around and everything will get messed up. We're getting there. There are more truths revealed in this.
I hope you like it…
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The Truth
Hermione turned the pages of the journal until she found the last entry. She turned to look at Harry, in her eyes he could see the emotions that still battled within her. He slowly began to rub her arm again as he nodded his head, encouraging her to continue. She reluctantly turned back to the previous entry and they began to read…
Journal Entry
I'm sorry, Cedric. I did something awful tonight. I didn't mean to. Not really.
A lot of us on the right side, the `good' side, of the war were told to meet here, at Hogwarts. I haven't been here in almost a year and I was kind of scared about coming back. Everyone was so preoccupied with the war though, that it was actually kind of nice, for a while…
I went to visit Professor Trelawney. I was never really convinced that she could foretell the future or anything, but I wanted to ask her to do a tealeaf reading for me; for old times' sake, if nothing else. I liked her class and I thought it would be nice to see her.
Her classroom was empty when I got there. That staircase is a nightmare and I wasn't about to climb down and back up again so I waited for her. After about ten minutes she walked into the room and I stood up to say hello. It was so weird. As soon as she saw me she stopped. Her whole body shook and she pointed one of her long, skinny fingers at me and said, "you, you're the one."
I tried to play it off. I asked her what she was talking about and she said, "you're the one…the one…filled with jealousy and hate. You are the betrayer. The two shall find you. They know the truth."
I just laughed, what else could I do? I told her I only wanted to say hello and ask if she could do a tealeaf reading. She looked at me like I was crazy and I knew I had to do something quick. She was scared so I walked closer to her, and I kept telling her that I was not a betrayer and that I had no idea what she talking about. I asked her if I could get her some tea and I told her we could talk. I walked to where she keeps it and I made her a cup…
I don't even know what it was that I put in it. I got if from Knockturn Alley. I just went there and asked a wizard for a drug that would be lethal to a wizard. He didn't even ask questions, he just took my money and I walked away. I don't know why I wanted it, but I thought it might come in handy, just in case…
It was her fault, really. She took the cup and drank it. Can you believe that? She actually took the cup and drank it. One minute she was calling me a betrayer and the next she's drinking a cup of tea from me. At first I thought I would have to think twice about her abilities…apparently not.
The next thing I knew she hit the floor and the teacup shattered. I didn't know what time old Filch came around so I left quickly. I hope she didn't suffer, I mean, this wasn't supposed to happen, and I really did like her.
Who are `the two'? Damn, I wish I could have tried Veritaserum on her or something first…at least then I'd know. I only hope I can carry out my plan before whoever they are can get to me. Looks like I'll be lying low until my time arrives.
Oh, Cedric. I didn't mean for this to happen, really I didn't. Please forgive me. I love you.
They finished reading the entry and, at the same time, turned to look at Dumbledore.
"That is but one of many answers you will find in that journal." He said with an underlying tone of sadness in his voice.
"But you told me you didn't know who killed her." Harry said accusatorily. "Why did you lie to me?"
"If you recall, Harry, I merely told you that at the time of her death there was no time to investigate; that any number of witches and wizards had access to the tower. I then proceeded to direct you toward the reading of the journal, did I not?" He asked, his eyes directed on Harry. "At no time, Harry, did I tell you that I did not know."
Harry thought back to their conversation. While he could not remember all of the specifics, he was now certain that Dumbledore had not actually told him that he didn't know who had done it…he'd only alluded to the fact that he didn't know. "But why didn't you just tell me what happened since you'd already read the journal?" He asked.
"Suffice it to say, Harry, I have my reasons. Trust me when I say there are things I have done here that are for your own good, things that you will not understand until your task is complete." He replied. "Just as Miss Granger has been forced to confront her fears, so must you. Be thankful, Harry, that you have the support of Miss Granger, whereas she was left to her own devices. You have your own fears, Harry, and it is best that you face them whilst I can still guide you. There are much greater things at stake here and whilst the identity of Professor Trelawney's assassin may seem mild in comparison to what you might face, I must refrain from providing you with answers. It is time, Harry, for you to trust yourself."
"You sound like you won't be around to help me for much longer." Harry laughed nervously. "You're not going anywhere are you?"
Dumbledore looked into Harry's eyes and smiled; a smile that did not reach his eyes. "There will come a time, Harry, when you will find it necessary to rely upon yourself. For far too long you have looked to others for answers." He said. "Do not misunderstand, Harry. Until now, we have been here to guide you, to keep you safe, and to provide you with that which you needed to know. Now that you have defeated Voldemort and fulfilled that part of your destiny, it is time for you to seek your own way."
Harry stared back at Dumbledore thoughtfully. His words made perfect sense and he knew Dumbledore was right. It was time he learned how to look for his own answers. It would be just him and Hermione once they finally left Hogwarts and he could hardly expect her to be the only one with the knowledge of how to seek out answers. They would need each other and for him to rely so heavily on her would be unfair. He looked from Dumbledore to Hermione. "I understand." He said to both of them. "It is time I learned to trust myself and my own judgment."
Hermione had been quietly watching them and listening to their exchange. There was something in Dumbledore's words, something not quite right. "Professor Dumbledore?" She said cautiously.
"Yes, Miss Granger?" He said, a smile played around his lips as though he knew what was coming.
"There are some things you said. Things that…" She was looking at him closely. "What did you mean by `until your task is complete' and `greater things at stake'?"
"I had wondered if you would ask, Miss Granger. I quite thought you might." He said, he said gravely. "The task could be quite complicated or it could be quite simple. You must listen to your dreams." He looked from one to the other. "Yes, your dreams are the portal to where the answers lie. Read the journal and listen closely to the messages your dreams convey." He looked at Hermione. "That is not an answer to your question, Miss Granger, but it is all that I can give. I am here to guide you but for this you must find the answers."
"What about what's at stake?" Harry asked. "Can you tell us?"
Dumbledore lowered his head and breathed heavily. "As for what is at stake, this answer I can give you but know now, you will not like it." He said looking first at Harry and then to Hermione. What is as stake, Miss Granger, could very be…" He looked over the top of his glasses at her, removing any barrier as his eyes made contact with hers. She shuddered uncontrollably, fearing his next words. "Your life."
Harry and Hermione gasped and turned frightened eyes toward each other. Harry turned quickly back to Dumbledore. "What do you mean, her life?" He nearly yelled. He was fighting his own inward battle now against emotions that bordered on rage. He'd been there before, and nothing good had ever come of it, so now he struggled to maintain control. "What do you mean her life is at stake and yet `we have to find the answers'? What the hell is this? This doesn't sound like a game. Why are you being so damn evasive?"
Dumbledore's demeanor did not change. He continued to sit in his seat as though Harry had done no more than ask about the weather. He slowly looked between them before he spoke; clearly and precisely he said, "I have already informed Miss Granger that her feelings of anger and hate will grow, and that as they do, she may very well begin to self-destruct. They are, in their own right, very powerful emotions and while the transference of these emotions was not intentional, it does not change the fact that she…" he looked directly at Harry, "and you…are still the ones for which they existed."
Harry looked from Dumbledore to Hermione, forgetting for the moment his anger at Dumbledore, as he began to realize the implication of his words... "So what you're saying is that whatever transferred from Cho could turn against her and the conflict between her own emotions and Cho's could…could…" His eyes were desperate as he looked from one to the other. He wanted someone, anyone, to stop him. He wanted to be told he wrong.
Dumbledore nodded. "Yes, Harry." He said softly, choosing not to finish Harry's sentence either. "You have seen the struggle for yourself, as have I. The emotions of anger, jealousy, and hate are not always abated with the passing of time; if left unattended, they will foster and grow. The one harboring such emotions must be willing to offer a sense of forgiveness to the one for whom they exist. Under ordinary circumstances these emotions would have died with Miss Chang. However, due to the transference and the apparent changes in Miss Granger's temperament we can be certain that did not happen in this instance. The problem now lies in this…Miss Chang had no forgiveness in her heart, no remorse for her feelings, and now that she is no longer with us, there is nowhere for those emotions to go, there is nothing for them to do but to foster and grow…" he looked at Hermione before returning his gaze to Harry, "within Hermione."
Harry desperately grabbed onto any part of Hermione he could reach as he turned to face her. "This isn't going to happen." He said feverishly. "It's not. I won't let it. I made you a promise and I will not…" he reached for her chin and maneuvered her face to a position where he could look directly into her eyes, "I will not fail you. Do you hear me, Hermione? I will not."
For a fraction of a second her eyes dropped from his, she raised her hand to his cheek and returned her eyes to his before she spoke, "I trust you, Harry." She said softly, though her words were filled with conviction. "I trust you with every part of me. We'll do this together."
Dumbledore stood as if to leave. "If there is nothing further you need of me at the moment, I shall go and leave you to it, then." He said.
Hermione turned to look at him. "Before you go, sir, there is one more thing I'd like to ask you." She said hesitantly.
Dumbledore looked up at her and the look in her eyes begged him for one more answer. He resumed sitting before he spoke, "Yes, Miss Granger?"
"It's about my dream." She said. She looked at Harry with concern before she turned back to Dumbledore. "There's something I need to know. Something I haven't been able to answer."
Dumbledore nodded for her continue.
"I told you that Cho was there. She was awful. I don't know for certain, but I think she put me under a spell. I don't know what kind of spell, but I think it affected my mind."
"How so?" Dumbledore asked curiously.
"Well, when I got to the ball, I was surprised to find…" she looked at Harry as the memory of his words flooded her, "Ron." She said.
"What?" Harry said, startled. "I thought you said that I was there." Somehow he knew, by the way she was sounded, that at the time she saw Ron he, himself had not been there.
"You were, Harry. It was you." She replied. "It looked like Ron, but it was you."
"Wha…how…I don't understand, Hermione." Harry said, shaking his head.
"You were so sad. You told me that Cho," her name now sounding like the most vile of swear words, "said that the first man I recognized would be the one that I'd chosen. I looked at you and I saw Ron." She saw the look of devastation on Harry's face so she grabbed his hand and quickly continued. "No, Harry. It wasn't real. I don't know what it was but when I danced with you," she raised his head so he could see within her eyes that she was telling him the truth, "the truth was there. It was in your eyes." She dropped her hand and looked at Dumbledore. "I didn't know at first that it was Harry." She returned her gaze to Harry. "I asked you to kiss me and that's when I knew. Ron's face was in front of me but it was your eyes I was looking into, your eyes that I wanted to lose myself in, it was in that moment that I realized…you were the one I wanted…the one I loved."
Dumbledore smiled knowingly. "And what is it you would like to know, Miss Granger?"
She turned to look at him. "At first I wanted to know how she made me see Ron, but now I realize it doesn't really matter, because I never truly saw him anyway. Only the eyes were real and they belonged to the one who truly had my heart…my one true destiny." She looked at Harry and smiled, she remembered how willing she'd been to get lost in those eyes and now was no exception. She heard Dumbledore shift in his chair and she jerked as she remembered that he had been trying to leave. "Oh! But wait! There is one thing that I still want to know. Something I need to know." She said quickly. "I need to know what the purpose was? I need to know what Cho hoped to accomplish by making me see someone other than Harry."
Dumbledore looked thoughtful as he contemplated her question. Finally he looked at her. "I must apologize, Miss Granger. I do not have the answer to your question." She dropped her head and nodded. "However, if you are willing to listen to an old man's speculation I can certainly oblige. I do have a theory."
Hermione nodded eagerly.
"This is purely speculation, Miss Granger, but I think perhaps your time to return had been predestined and, had Miss Chang succeeded, you would have returned to your life having failed in the mission of your dream. Ron is not the one for whom you feel that kind of love, you knew that the moment you saw him there, did you not?" Hermione nodded. "Had you not realized when you did that it was Harry…"
"…I wouldn't have trusted in my love for him." Hermione said as the realization dawned on her. "If Harry told me he loved me then I would always doubt whether I loved him enough or if my love was real. I would have come back with my fear of being alone, my fear of the future, and a fear of never knowing true love." She looked at Harry. "So Cho did have a lesson for me." She said.
"What is that?" Harry asked.
"To trust in my heart. To not be blinded by what I see with my eyes." She replied. As an afterthought she added, "And all this time I thought she was just there to be a bitch!"
They laughed and Dumbledore stood once again. "I really must be going. I am here for guidance if you find yourselves in need." He looked at them and pointed. "Remember, listen to your dreams." He looked pointedly at Harry. "Listen." He said again. Suddenly the chair vanished and he was walking toward the door. He turned back to them and said, "I will be in my office should you need me. I'll not be going anywhere." He turned and began walking toward the door. "Yet." He said softly to himself.
"Wow!" Harry said. "I don't want to hear anymore. This is all just way too much."
"Wait a minute, Harry." Hermione said suddenly as she grabbed his arm. "How about something funny?"
Harry raised his eyebrows. "Funny? Okay, I can handle funny."
"I haven't told you yet what Draco was doing there…" She said with a smile.
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