And since this chapter has a song u should be aware that I am musically inept… so yeah not mine (it's "sway" by the Perishers, a Swedish indie band, from the CD "let there be morning")
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The one that he pushed away
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Summary: she had loved him, but he broke her heart so many times that it dissipated to a point that all she felt when it came to him was pain. He hurt her so many times and she finally got up the courage to leave him… but she did so with something of his.
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Chapter XVI: "sway"
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Previously:
"Which is also why I wanted to tell you that I'm ready."
"You're ready?" he asked her, totally confused as to what she was referring to.
"I'm ready to go all in, really give it a shot," she told him as he placed her hand on top of his.
…
"I love you Lily," he huskily whispered into her ear. "I know that you're not in love with me, but you should know that I plan on changing that."
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Marauders' residence
2 a.m.
She heard a cry that was emitted from the room next to hers and automatically knew that it was Harry. "Ugh, don't want to get up," she muttered, beginning the internal battle over whether or not Harry's need to go to the potty was really worth the effort.
After a few minutes she finally relented and her son for his cries had failed to cease "not like I can sleep with that noise anyway," she muttered ad she made her way out of the room.
Once she got to the room (Harry's) she was shocked by the sight before her. James, Sirius, Remus, and Riley were all crowded around Harry trying to calm him down by handing him toys that he would only throw across the room before he would continue to cry.
"That won't work," she them him from behind, thoroughly startling them in turn for they had not known that she was there.
"Hey, you didn't have to get up, we were taking care of it," Riley assured her.
"Yeah, just not the right way," she teased them as she took Harry into her arms. "At this age, the only reason that Harry would ever wake up in the middle of the night would be because he has to go to the potty."
"I honestly don't care, I just want to go to bed," Sirius said before leaving the room with Remus in tow.
"Why didn't we think of that? I mean I've known the tyke for his entire life," Riley asked.
"Because this is your first time dealing with things, from now on you'll know. Plus, you always slept through these things whenever you were at my place. Looks like you've finally lost your immunity," she teased him.
"Don't be jealous love," he flirted.
"Okay, this is uncomfortable, so I'll just take Harry and change his diaper Lils," James told the couple as he took his son from her.
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Monday morning
Breakfast
"Hey," James greeted a grumpy Lily who was banging her head against the kitchen cabinets as she waited for her coffee to prepare.
"I hate mornings," she muttered.
"I know you do, but at least the coffee's ready now," he told her as the machine signaled that it was finished brewing.
"OH THANK GOD!" she exclaimed as James poured hers into a mug for her.
"I wonder how you would manage for a day without coffee."
"Don't even utter such blasphemous thoughts," they sat in a comfortable silence, both drinking their coffee and reading their newspapers. "You know, you really are a good father James," she shyly told him.
"If I'm such a good father I would have thought about the fact that he might need to poop."
I talk to you as to a friend
I hope that's what you've come to be
it feels as though we've made amends
like we found a way eventually
"Just because you don't know something like that doesn't make you a bad father. Those kinds of things are easy to learn. James, whenever you enter the room his face light up, he knows that you're his father and he adores you. Those kinds of things make you a father, not knowing when he needs to poop or eat."
"Teach me the small things."
"When you give him a toy and he throws it, he expects you to go after it. He loves to watch Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, something about Gene Wilder in a purple top hat just seems to turn him on."
"Hey, I happen to love that movie too!"
"I know, so do I. In fact, I think I had to drag you to the movie theatre to watch it, you kept on complaining about how you already knew that you wouldn't like it."
"I don't know what you're talking about," he smirked.
"Sure you-"
"NO WAY!" they suddenly heard Riley exclaim as he descended the staircase. "Germany is definitely going to be your main competitor for the cup. Do you have any clue how disciplined they are? France doesn't stand a chance against them."
"What?! France is doing amazing this year," Sirius retaliated as they both reached the end of the stairs and were in the kitchen.
"Hello love," Riley greeted her with a chaste kiss.
"Wow! When did this happen?" Sirius asked.
Lily blushed, "yesterday actually."
"Well I'd love to talk about our blossoming relationship, but I have a meeting with the London Times in forty minutes," Riley told them as he left the room.
"Good morning," Remus greeted them as he blindly threw himself onto the nearest stool.
"Guess what?"
"Must you be so loud?" Remus groaned.
"Well if you're going to be so rude I don think I'm going to tell you."
"What is Sirius talking about?"
"Riley and I are dating."
"I thought you said that you two broke up."
"They got back together," James told him.
"Oh shit! I'm running late, come on Remus we have a meeting with Moody in twenty minutes," she told him as she grabbed his arm and dragged him out of the room.
"So, how are you?" Sirius asked James.
"Fine."
"Care to elaborate?"
"Not really."
"Come on, you must have something to say about it."
"It's good that she has someone."
"James, what happened?"
"What do you mean?"
"You used to talk about how Lily was the love of your life, how life without her was incomplete, what happened James? What changed?"
It was you who picked the pieces up
when I was a broken soul
and then glued me back together
Returned to me what others stole
"Nothing did."
"Oh so you just woke up one morning and realized that Lily's not the love of your life anymore?"
"No… I still think she is."
"Then why aren't you sad or anything about her and Riley?"
"Because I realized that just because she may be mine, doesn't mean that I'm hers."
"That's total bullshit James."
"No it isn't! She deserves better, it may hurt to realize it, but it's the truth. I won't screw up her life again… I can't."
I don't wanna hurt you
I don't wanna make you sway
Like I know I've done before
I will not do it anymore
I've always been a dreamer
I've had my head among the clouds
Now that I'm coming down
Won't you be my solid ground?
"So you're just going to let Riley have her?"
"I thought you said that you like him."
"I do, he is one of the coolest guys that I have ever met, but I also love you and Lily, together."
"Look at them Sirius. Riley adores Lily, he would never take her for granted, and he's perfect."
"Yeah he is."
"Thank you."
"But not for her. Yes, she deserves to be treated with respect, never taken for granted… but… I don't know how to explain it James… with you there was something so great about the relationship. You two were so in sync, so perfect for one another without being a sickeningly perfect couple. I was jealous."
"Sirius, she's perfect for me, but I'm not for her. I don't deserve her… sometimes; you just have to know when to fold. I love her and I'm doing this for her I screwed up, I lost my chance, I'm trying to do the right thing now, the thing I didn't do before: make her happy."
I look at you and see a friend
I hope that's what you wanna be
Are we back now where it all began
Have you finally forgiven me?
"You're delusional James."
"I'll still have her in my life and that's what counts in the end, I won't lose her again."
You gathered my dreams in
When they all blew away
and then tricked them back into me
you saved me I was almost dead
"You two should be together James!"
"Sirius, I'm done talking about this, it's for the best so just drop it," James told him as he made his way towards the stairs.
Once James reached them he stopped dead in his tracks from the question that Sirius asked him…
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author's note: so this was my favorite chapter that I've ever written, (but I think that that's due to the fact that it has this song in it which I absolutely adore) anyway, please tell me what u think
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