Disclaimer: idea's that Rowling girl's.
And since this chapter has a song u should be aware that I am musically inept… so yeah not mine (it's "36 degrees" by placebo)
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The one that he pushed away
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Summary: she had loved him, but he broke her heart so many times that it dissipated to a point that all she felt when it came to him was pain. He hurt her so many times and she finally got up the courage to leave him… but she did so with something of his.
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Chapter VI: dream boy
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They lay in bed holding one another, cradling each other in their arms. As he looked down at her with those adoring eyes she felt loved and comfortable with herself for the first time.
He slowly leaned down so that him mouth was right next to her ear before whispering, "you are the most amazing thing that I've ever seen, I can't imagine my life without you Lils."
At that precise moment Lily practically leapt from her bed. The dreams had been haunting her ever since she had moved back to England. She loathed them; she hated the pain that she went through every time that she reminisced over the good moments throughout her relationship with James. The dreams always made her want to fall in love with James all over again.
"Don't- don't think about him Lily. Remember all of the times that he broke your heart?" she chastised herself for being so weak. "Bloody hell, I'm going crazy. Can't even sleep without having a dream about my ex," she exclaimed as she threw herself onto the bed.
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Midnight
Marauders' residence:
"So how was lunch with Lily?"
"Great after you left."
"Wait you saw her?" James asked Sirius.
"Yeah, they were in the restaurant that you met me at."
"I thought you said that they had run out of Chinese food."
"Sirius, I can't believe that that was your excuse, you're so- with, you bought that?" Remus redirected his attention to James.
"Why would he lie to me?"
"Man, you're so gullible."
"I'm trusting, sue me."
"You believed that they had run out of Chinese food."
"What ever, I'll be in my room if you need me," James told them as he left.
"So how is she?" Sirius asked once James was out of ear shot.
"She's good, happy."
"And she forgave you?"
"Not so much as she's giving me a chance to redeem myself."
"Lucky bastard," Sirius muttered.
"Just promise you won't ambush her."
"What? Why would I do that?"
"I know that you're going to try to reconnect with her, so just promise me that you won't ambush her."
"Yes mom."
"Very good son, now I'm off to get some beauty sleep."
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Knock, knock
As soon as Lily heard the knock on the door on her way to the kitchen she was baffled, "who the hell visits someone at twelve thirty in the morning?"
As soon as she opened the door she knew that she should be surprised, but she wasn't, "Sirius what are you doing here so late at night?"
"you know, some would say that it's early in the morning," said a nervous Sirius in an attempt to alleviate some of the tension.
"Yeah, well I'm not one of them. Why are you here?"
"I found out that you lived here and wanted to visit you."
"I figured as much, now how about telling me why you're here."
"Can I come in?"
Lily sighed, it was better to just tackle it head on; there really wasn't any reason to avoid it. Like it or not Remus was her partner. She couldn't avoid him forever.
Both of them.
We were tight, but it falls apart as silver turns to blue.
Waxing with a candlelight, and burning just for you.
Allocate your sentiment, and stick it in a box.
I've never been an extrovert, but I'm still breathing.
"Okay," she said as she moved to the side and further opened the door so that he could get through.
"Nice place."
"I like it. My mother would hate it; say that I should buy a bigger place when I can afford it."
"It suits you, looks lived in."
"Thanks."
"I know that I am probably the last person that you want to see, but I had to come and see you. I'll understand if you kick me out and never want to see me again, but please give me a chance to say what I have to say first."
"Okay."
"I didn't mean to hurt you Lils; I honestly thought that I was doing the right thing. That I was being loyal to both friends, I didn't think about-"
"That's right Sirius, you didn't think. You let him hurt me. You let me take him back every time. I know that it was my fault too for going back to him, but how could you not tell me? How could you let me make a fool of myself? I thought that you respected me more than that, care for me-"
Someone tried to do me ache (it's what I'm afraid of)
With hindsight, I was more than blind, lost without a clue.
Thought I was getting carat gold, and what I got was you.
Stuck inside the circumstances, lonely at the top.
I've always been an introvert
happily bleeding.
"I did- I do. I love you; you were one of my best mates."
"Funny way of showing it."
"I didn't know what to do, I was stupid."
"Sirius, you made your bed, now just lie in it. You really hurt me and I can't just forgive you."
"But you forgave Remus."
"I haven't forgiven him, I'm trying to and the only reason that I'm even giving it a shot is because we work together. In a mission he'd be my partner and in that type of situation you have to be able to trust them with your life."
"Just give me a chance Lily."
Someone tried to do me ache (it's what I'm afraid of)
4 7 2 3 9 8 5 - I gotta breathe to stay alive,
and 1 4 2 9 7 8 - feels like I'm gonna suffocate.
14 16 22 - this skin that turns to blister blue.
Shoulders toes and knees, I'm 36 degrees,
shoulders toes and knees, I'm 36 degrees,
shoulder toes and knees, I'm 36 degrees,
shoulders toes and knees, I'm 36 degrees.
"Sirius, I just- I can't."
"Lunch, just lunch."
"Fine, when?" Lily gave in.
"Tomorrow, I'll pick you up at your office at twelve."
"Fine."
At that exact moment a crying was heard throughout the apartment.
"Lily what is that?"
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