Disclaimer: idea's that Rowling girl's.
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The one that he pushed away
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Summary: she had loved him, but he broke her heart so many times that it dissipated to a point that all she felt when it came to him was pain. He hurt her so many times and she finally got up the courage to leave him… but she did so with something of his.
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Chapter VII: the dilemma of the little tyke
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Previously:
"Lunch, just lunch."
"Fine, when?" Lily gave in.
"Tomorrow, I'll pick you up at your office at twelve."
"Fine."
At that exact moment a crying was heard throughout the apartment.
"Lily what is that?"
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"Sirius, I think that you should go," she told him as she desperately tried to ignore the incessant crying in the background.
"Do you have a kid?" he asked as he pushed past her, walking towards the door from which the crying was coming from.
"Sirius, this really isn't any of your business."
"Then explain who that is."
She hesitated; she didn't know how to answer the question. She couldn't just lie to him; he could always tell when she did.
"Lily, is that your son?"
"Yes," she told him quietly, almost timidly.
An unexpected smile broke out across Sirius' face, "that's great Lily. I can't believe that Remus didn't tell me that you're married, you'd guess that he'd-"
"Sirius, I'm not married."
"You're not?" Sirius asked, confused by the situation.
"No, by the time that I found out I was pregnant we had already broke up."
"Well is the bloke a good father at least?"
"I wouldn't know."
"How could you not know? It's your child's father."
"I wouldn't know because Harry's father doesn't know about him."
Realization dawned upon Sirius' face, "wait- no, you would do that- you couldn't do that-"
"Sirius, please, don't tell anyone-"
"So it is his!" Sirius yelled at her, furious at her lack of compassion towards her friend.
"Yes."
"How could you not tell him?"
"Because he broke my heart Sirius. If I wanted to be a good mom to Harry I couldn't be around James. I couldn't deal with that, it hurt too much. Besides, I was saving him-"
"Don't you dare try to use that excuse Lils. You are very aware of that fact that he would have loved the tyke and been a good dad to him, I just don't understand how you of all people could do that."
"I couldn't deal with him, not right after I had finally got up the courage to end it. I'm weak when it comes to him and I was at my worst then, I just couldn't deal with it if he was involved."
"You have to tell him."
"No."
"He deserves to know."
"He doesn't deserve anything after what he did to me.'
`Then I'll tell him."
"Sirius, you can't."
"If you don't then I'll have to."
"Fine, if you want to be that was then you can tell him, but don't you dare come back to me. You chose sides again," she yelled at him as she shocked him by pushing him out the door and slamming it in his face.
"Lily think about what you're doing. It's wrong and you know it as well as I do. Just tell him, don't make me be the one to do the dirty work," Sirius told her through the door.
Lily opened the door in tears, "and what do I say Sirius? Can you picture it? Hey James, you know when you were shagging another girl while we were dating? Yeah, well, turns out that you knocked me up and I never told you because you had cheated on me with that fucking whore."
Sirius winced at her choice of words, but stood his ground, "Lily, he deserves to know."
"And I deserved to have a boyfriend who loved me and dint cheat on me, as you can see, life's not always that fair Sirius."
"I know, I know," he whispered soothingly as he impulsively hugged her.
"It's not fair, he doesn't deserve my chivalry," she cried into his chest.
"What about Henry?"
"It's Harry," she giggled in his arms.
"Okay, Harry. Doesn't he deserve to have a father?"
"I guess…"
"And you and I both know that James may have been a horrible boyfriend, but he would be an amazing father."
"But I can't be around him Sirius!"
"Not even for Harry?"
She let out a deep sigh, "you have to tell him… I can't do it. I'll let him be a dad to Harry and be present in his life, but I can't be the one to tell him about Harry. In the end I wouldn't do it if I tried."
"Fine, it's a deal."
"When are you going to tell him?"
"I don't know yet… sometime this week probably… when the time's right."
Lily untangled herself from Sirius' arms and looked up at him, "you should go now."
"Any chance that we can meet for lunch tomorrow?"
"I don't know Sirius-"
"Come on, please," he pouted.
"Okay, pick me up at twelve."
"Do you think that I can see the little tyke now?"
"Don't push it Sirius."
"Right, I'll just go now."
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Next morning:
Marauders' residence:
"Good morning," Sirius greeted his friends as he walked into the kitchen.
"What's got you in such a chipper mood?" Remus asked.
"Lily agreed to have lunch with me."
"So she's friends with you too now?" James asked.
"Oh, she pretty much hates me, but I'm working on it. She's warming up to me."
"Should I go see her too?" James asked.
"No! Why the hell would you do that? She hates your guts James," Remus told him, alarmed by the prospect of the two being in the same room (and the physical damage that it would cause James).
"She hates yours too, but she agreed to lunch."
"I don't know how to put this nicely… you were a fucking asshole James, you cheated on her."
"I know, but-"
"No buts. There is no reason why she would ever want to see you again-"
"Actually, there is," Sirius said, wincing at the inevitable blow up that his confession would cause.
"Oh really? What's that Sirius?" Remus asked sarcastically.
"Um- well- she kind of has something of James."
"What?" Remus and James asked simultaneously, both confused as to what Sirius was eluding to.
"Well- you see- she kind of had your kid."
"Wait- what?" James asked, still confused.
"You got her pregnant James. Right before you two broke up. She found out after you two split, but couldn't tell you."
"I have to go," James muttered as he disapparated from the kitchen.
"That's not good, is it?" Sirius asked.
"Lily got knocked up?" Remus asked, still confused.
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